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Guilt, remorse, percieved or otherwise
Death tunes us into the times we wish we would have better. Perceived or otherwise, death encourages us to make amends. It is a time we reconcile ourselves.
I witnessed this as my husband died, he had the need to make amends. I recall the day he apologized for not being "onboard" early in our relationship. He felt he had wasted so much time and cause both of us grief. Things that I thought I had put behind me decades ago, as I hadn't thought about it for years.
But there it was, pain. He never wanted to remarry, and so he resisted the love that grew out of our relationship. He broke not one but two wedding dates., and I thought it was all in the past, until he felt the need to face his regrets.
I realized then, I had an unresolved emotion in my system, I made a note to release it later that day. Why would I waste any of my energy on the past. when there was so little of the life we shared left.
In that moment, I simply stroked his cheek, nodding my head and with tears running down my face, in mutual understanding. There had been pain that needed to be reconciled, and an apology was both given and received.
There were other regrets as well. For decades, we both had worked so hard, and we're just on the cusp on having more leisure time. I bet we all have heard the adage, no one wishes they would have worked harder. And so, it was true, he regretted not taking more time, for friends, family. It is the humanities we regret.
Bit still, he regretted leaving things for me to finalize.
When I investigated regrets, as with near death experiences, the review is on humanity. Not on the size of our house or how much money or investments we have in place. It is about How we lived our life.
The top 10 things that people regret?
Trusting their own wisdom, to not worry, to love more, did things that made them happier, staying too long in a job they disliked, or not pursuing their dreams, holding a grudge.
And so we witness, the humanness of life and death ad what we can learn from both.
I listened to a documentary called Inner World, Outer World and I found it fascinating and I would recommend. But one thing that stuck in my mind was a quote of a dying man to hhis wife. Lean closer my dear, I have something you need to know, and he whispered in her ear; Remember, when you wake in the morning and lift your head from your pillow, you have everything you need.
Stay well out there,
Here are some great episodes to start with.
