Self Sabotage may be just an outdated coping mechanism

Doctors #1 problem with achieving health changes is having people change their behavior. And behavior change is the #1 factor that determines the quality of one's life.

Duke University professor Charles Duhigg claims that 40-45% of all our decisions are automated. Life decisions are being made by the habits we have. Now that could be a scary thing! What habits do you have?

It's a known fact that people fall off track, even when we think we want to change something about our self. It is a known phenomenon that coaches witness in their programs, and some anticipate it and even pre-warn their clients that the possibility is there and when it is likely to show up.

Knowing the real reasons we want change is layers below the compensated "I'm fine" messaging most often use. But an experienced coach is not held up by that, we delve deeper, into the pause, the discomfort, ultimately the deeper meaning hidden below six or more often unexplored layers. Knowing also that the inner game gets rewritten from the deepest root. By changing the foundation, we create powerful momentum.

The reason this exploration is needed and essential for change is the "big why" is the true power behind change, our intrinsic motivator.

Another perspective on coping mechanisms are that they are powerful drivers of our belief systems. Knowing beliefs are deeply embedded and give us a sense of security about things we no longer having to remember. The problem with that is that many beliefs also become outdated. They no longer are valid and interfere with clarity of purpose and goal setting.

For example, what we believe about wealth. If we have certain attitudes about what wealth is, we will sabotage our ability to earn it for ourselves. Beliefs create our experience and our experience confirms our beliefs. 

Just like the internet runs a powerful algorithm when we search for something we want to purchase. Now consider this algorithm is like a belief system, and that algorithm continually runs and confirms everything we believe, and it is the only thing we focus on when we view our news feed, our check out email, tune into twitter or Face Book.

In fact, beliefs are our automated programming, which create our decisions which stabilize our beliefs, and this shapes our identity which informs our actions and behaviors to hold the line.

As coaches, we understand that the more change someone needs, the least change they are capable of. With saying that, small hinges swing big doors. Even the biggest issues we have can shift, by creating tiny little changes, that then take care of the big issues.

Small changes are like steppingstones that bridge a river. Picture yourself on one side of a riverbank, looking across to the other side. There, everything you ever wanted is waiting for you. Yet the river flows between, creating barriers; outdated beliefs; and blocks; self-limiting beliefs; to you reaching the other side. Then their are the stones that sit above the water, coaching you to take that first step and then the next stone shows itself encouraging you to take another step, until you are safely across the river and in reach of your best life. This is the essence of coaching, bridging the gap from where you are today, to where you want to be, and creating the potential for you to get there with the least resistance and far more fun and support. 

One way is to re-frame our problem. For example, discipline become bliss-ipline. Because if discipline has a negative meaning, we may sabotage, so we have have the ability to change that, because the meaning we understand depends on how we frame it. We change the frame; we change the meaning. Another example would be, being a funny person verses being laughed at. The feeling and experience change, depending upon how we frame our experience.

Or, here is a high mileage question. Does your current experience motivate or deprive? Because psychology says, we are always winning the game we are playing. So ask yourself the question, what has been my inner game and how can I be different and win a new game. How can we then change how we feel, which will then change my response and the resulting behavior?

Be willing to get it wrong but then have the awareness of what went well and where a small step would be helpful. Here are a few more helpful tools for change.

What would you need to let go of, to achieve your goal?

What would you have to believe about yourself, to achieve your goal?

Would you be willing to try a different way of being?

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#myfreedomdomday #whatdoesfreedommeantoyou #mindyourfreedom Adele's bio: I strive to live the best life possible. I am a survivor of a plane that crashed and flipped in water. That experience of drowning and how I made my escape forever change my belief in what is possible. I became obsessed with neuroscience. Wanting to understand the power of the mind. If my mind could source information locked deep within my mind, while starved of oxygen. I wanted to know how to access and use that same mind power everyday.  My experience became the driving force of my life purpose.  The stuff I now know to be true

I consciously live my values. Being clear about what I do and don't want. Making value based choices to ensure I love the life I wake-up to every day

I thrive on learning, growing and expanding my awareness so I can embrace all that life has to offer. This deep desire of learning enabled a degree in natural medicine, coaching certificate and Trainers certification in N.L.P. and more.

My clients are successful professionals looking for or going through change. They are tired, want to be listened to and are seeking a personalized caring approach.

So, if you are tired of repeating old patterns of behavior or feeling stuck, tune in here. If you experience uncomfortable or imbalanced feelings in your body, this flavorful podcast may resonate

Maybe you are waking up feeling dis-satisfied in the morning? Or exhausted, living under stress or maybe you are exploring new beginnings. One that fulfills your inner purpose. Then you have found your safe haven

As an N.L.P. trainer, I create perceptual shifts needed to reach your vision. And N.L.P. teaches and provide life skills for a beautiful future. Plus it installs the neuro-networking necessary for transformation

My multi-dynamic and personalized approach includes a deep sense of intuition, natural medicine, neuroscience, integrity and care

Clients report that they feel happier, sleep more soundly and experience feelings of deep satisfaction knowing they are living the purposeful life they have been wanting

Natural health: Improving and balancing your body, mind and soul

NLP Trainer: empowerment, behavioral change, accelerate and motivate learning, install excellence, improve communication and removing stress

Service: Deeply devoted to creating the environment where you can move towards a life you desire and deserve