Why is it so hard to talk about death and dying

Let’s face the fact, we are all going to die at some point. We face death of the people we love, but how often do we talk about it?

Surrendering to what is, takes courage. The reality of death, we can not change. At times it can be deeply painful. It may be easier for us to turn away from our pain, locking it away for a while.

The loss of a spouse or a child, may be one of these times, that we fail to help our self. Possibly when we feel we must care for others. Fundamentally this may seem essential, and in certain cases, even true.

I recall working with a lovely woman who had suffered the loss of her husband. She had two young children and she was raising them alone. At some point, I witnessed her lose her ability to cope. Her world crumbled and she was in a state of collapse. As we explored her feelings, she said; I told myself, I would set aside my grief for five years, make sure my kids were ok. And yes, it was five years to the day.

We can run but we can’t hide from our grief. We may be able to set it aside, but at some point, we must process our loss and take the time to heal, or I fear we will never be whole again.

There are ways, process our feelings a little bit each day. First, explore beliefs, because they may be hard to reconcile. For example, if we believe of life after death, but they are absent. Believing is different from knowing.

Another way to process, is journaling. Sounds ridiculous? Here is the science. Journaling is a cognitive function which takes place in our neocortex. Emotions are accessed in our middle brain; this brain is active and reactive when we are feeling. Learning to shift our attention into our neocortex eases emotional pain. Identifying things, like emotions or objects is a simple to shift into the frontal brain. Journaling works. And it can be a double win, because writing is a cognitive function.

Journaling may be one simple action of putting your own mask on first. When we understand simple ways to help ourselves, we are respecting our body, mind and souls need to heal.

I like metaphors, so Ill describe self care to owning a car. If you fail to fill the tank, at some point you’re going to run out of gas, and then what? I don’t have to tell you because you already know, it is easier to maintain your health than to recover your health. So, if this isn’t enough for you… do it for them.

And there is power in caring for yourself. The reality is, we must put our own mask on first, and our actions empowers others to do the same.

Our simple generosity to our self, nurtures balance and harmony beyond us.

Looking for a relieve my grief retreat? Intentional self care, proven tools for healing and feel grace and ease enter your mind, body and soul. #griefsupport #retreatyourself #thrivenotsurvive Connect today for Nov dates 604-885-8236 stay well out there, xoxox Adele