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Laurin Wittig and Alan talk about how she found her spiritual practice. Laurin uses her hands to receive and communicate energy as well as using her hands to help heal other people including aligning their chakras. Laurin and Alan touch on how important it is to connect mindfulness and spirituality – you cannot have one without the other. Through your mindfulness practice Laurin believes you will eventually be able to understand how to change your perspective and learn to truly forgive others. Our body language is also important, when we are feeling down it is incredible what smiling can do to change our brain chemistry.
Laurin explains the tumultuous relationship she had with her mother and how it helped her and shaped her into the person she is today. She learned how to turn her traumas into helpful experiences that changed her narrative of being a victim.
About The Guest:
Laurin Wittig is an intuitive energy healer and spirituality mentor, the founder of HeartLight Wellness, the host of the Curiously Wise podcast, and an award-winning novelist. Her passion is assisting her clients through their journeys out of mind, body, and/or spiritual distress and into a life of passion, purpose, and joy.
Laurin's own journey from emotional pain and deteriorating health to happiness and great health, with the assistance of several intuitive healers, is the very thing that inspires her passion to help others with her own healing gifts.
About Alan:
Alan Carroll is an Educational Psychologist who specializes in Transpersonal Psychology. He founded Alan Carroll & Associates 30 years ago and before that, he was a Senior Sales Training Consultant for 10 years at Digital Equipment Corporation. He has dedicated his life in search of mindfulness tools that can be used by everyone (young and old) to transform their ability to speak at a professional level, as well as, to reduce the psychological suffering caused by the misidentification with our ego and reconnect to the vast transcendent dimension of consciousness that lies just on the other side of the thoughts we think and in between the words we speak.
Personal: https://www.facebook.com/alan.carroll.7359
Business: https://www.facebook.com/AlanCarrolltrains
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/aca-mindful-you/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindfulnesseminar/
Web Site: https://acamindfulyou.com/
Hi, Lauren, welcome to the show.
Laurin Wittig:Hey, Alan, thanks for having me. I'm looking
Laurin Wittig:forward to yet another good conversation with you.
Alan Carroll:Yeah, we've had, we've had a few conversations we
Alan Carroll:have. Yeah. Yeah. And one of the things that we've had in our
Alan Carroll:conversation, and was spirituality. Yeah, the idea
Alan Carroll:that there is a state of awareness, a state of
Alan Carroll:consciousness, beyond what we would refer to as the physical
Alan Carroll:plane of awareness. And what I like to do is, hear what you
Alan Carroll:would use to describe that, that space of spirituality. And those
Alan Carroll:folks who want to access that dimension of spirituality, what
Alan Carroll:are some of the things that they could do in their, in their own
Alan Carroll:practice, in order to build that, that connection to the
Alan Carroll:spiritual part of our, of our life?
Laurin Wittig:Okay, so that's a lot. Spirituality, for me is
Laurin Wittig:really almost more of a feeling than an intellectual thing that
Laurin Wittig:I can I can put words to easily, but it's, it is, for me, it's
Laurin Wittig:being connected to the energy of everything around me in a
Laurin Wittig:conscious way. And that conscious way has built over
Laurin Wittig:time, it's not something that I just, you know, figured out one
Laurin Wittig:day I could do, it's been building and I've worked with
Laurin Wittig:other people who do energy work, because that's my area of
Laurin Wittig:expertise is energy healing. But that once you start to get
Laurin Wittig:since, like, like sensory validation that you're
Laurin Wittig:experiencing something different. And that for me is
Laurin Wittig:that I feel energy in the palms of my hands. That's, that's how
Laurin Wittig:I work with the energy of people or the world or my pet my dog or
Laurin Wittig:things, is I kind of feel like they're satellite dishes, they
Laurin Wittig:they're receiving the energy, they're receiving the signal. So
Laurin Wittig:for me, that's how I tactically experience what's not there,
Laurin Wittig:what's not visible, right. And for me, that was a very
Laurin Wittig:validating thing. Especially when I began to practice I did a
Laurin Wittig:lot of practicing before I decided I could actually do
Laurin Wittig:energy work, but practicing with people who also are able to
Laurin Wittig:experience energy moving through them. Because they would say,
Laurin Wittig:Oh, I'm feeling you do this, and they'd have their eyes closed.
Laurin Wittig:And I'd know they couldn't see what I was doing. But it was
Laurin Wittig:right where I was working at the moment. So there's things like
Laurin Wittig:that, that are very validating. The other thing for me, that was
Laurin Wittig:huge, and it's one of my my favorite things to teach people
Laurin Wittig:and do is, is that you can't you have guides, we all have guides,
Laurin Wittig:they can take many forms. You can call them whatever you like,
Laurin Wittig:it could be God, it could be all it is. It could be Gaia, it
Laurin Wittig:could be angels, it could be power animals doesn't matter.
Laurin Wittig:They're all pretty much spirit, right? And each culture seems to
Laurin Wittig:have its own sort of way of visualizing that. Yeah, that's
Laurin Wittig:true. Really, you know, we humans like to name things,
Laurin Wittig:right. That's how we understand them. So for me, it's it's a lot
Laurin Wittig:of angels. But it's a lot of ancestral. I do a lot of
Laurin Wittig:shamanic work and boys that awesome in terms of taking you
Laurin Wittig:down a rabbit hole that is super spiritual, and hard to explain
Laurin Wittig:to people who haven't experienced, I guess it's what I
Laurin Wittig:can say. But it's I just lost my track. Oh, the guides. I started
Laurin Wittig:learning to talk to the guides. And then I started learning how
Laurin Wittig:to get answers back. And my favorite thing, I've got one
Laurin Wittig:right here. I always keep these handy. My favorite tools. The
Laurin Wittig:first one I ever learned to use is a pendulum. And it's such a
Laurin Wittig:simple little thing. And you can ask questions of your guides and
Laurin Wittig:ask them and it'll give you a yes or no answer. Very simple.
Laurin Wittig:So is my name Lauren? Minus it's probably hard to see this going
Laurin Wittig:in a circle. Yeah, and that's my Yes. Yours might not be. Now
Laurin Wittig:it's showing me no. Okay. No, it's ahead of me. No is for me
Laurin Wittig:as a left right swing, but everybody has their own so you
Laurin Wittig:train a pendulum just by saying show me Yes. And show me in no.
Laurin Wittig:And you can start asking questions and getting answers.
Laurin Wittig:So I use this a lot now to validate myself because for
Laurin Wittig:instance, I'm looking I'm working with somebody after this
Laurin Wittig:I have client coming in and I was going to try I'm going to
Laurin Wittig:use a new protocol I've just learned and I but it wasn't sure
Laurin Wittig:I should I think I should but I'm not sure so I got this out
Laurin Wittig:and said should I use this you know in should I use this with
Laurin Wittig:that client and I got a big ol yes really fast. I was like
Laurin Wittig:Okay, thank you. I just wanted to bail. Did I got that, right?
Laurin Wittig:So
Alan Carroll:there are really fascinating that that you can
Alan Carroll:make a connection to a dimension of consciousness and have a two
Alan Carroll:way communication to make that that certainly validates the
Alan Carroll:fact that there is something beyond the physical, which would
Alan Carroll:be beneficial and to be able to connect with.
Laurin Wittig:Yeah, it also begins to validate your own
Laurin Wittig:intuition. Because you'll get an intuitive hit about something
Laurin Wittig:like I did for this client. I was kind of sitting here going,
Laurin Wittig:what should I you know, is there something specific I should do?
Laurin Wittig:Oh, I got this new protocol that I haven't tried yet. Maybe that,
Laurin Wittig:and my, that was my intuition kicking in yet got that new
Laurin Wittig:thing. And, and so my intuition was, yeah, that's the right
Laurin Wittig:thing. But I was able to validate it with a visual tool.
Laurin Wittig:And for me, that was a game changer. Wow, it was it was a
Laurin Wittig:game changer. And even better, is what I use a lot now is what
Laurin Wittig:a lot of people call automatic writing, but I'm not sure that's
Laurin Wittig:exactly the same thing. I love to I can type with my eyes
Laurin Wittig:closed. So computers work well for me, but you can do it
Laurin Wittig:longhand, I ask a question I type the question in. And then I
Laurin Wittig:wait. And because I can type with my eyes closed, I close my
Laurin Wittig:eyes and just allow whatever wants to come through me. And I
Laurin Wittig:start typing it. I don't ask and I don't question it. I don't
Laurin Wittig:censor it. I don't edit it. Just let it flow. And then often I'll
Laurin Wittig:stop and read that answer. And it's not in my voice. It's not
Laurin Wittig:the way I phrase things. It's not the metaphors I would use.
Laurin Wittig:It's often more formal language than I would use. But I can also
Laurin Wittig:then ask another question. Oh, so you bring up this point, let
Laurin Wittig:me ask another question. And I type it in. So you can have an
Laurin Wittig:ongoing conversation. And for me, that's my favorite tool.
Alan Carroll:Wow. Yeah. So how long have you been involved in
Alan Carroll:this workload?
Laurin Wittig:That's a really good question. I would I'm
Laurin Wittig:trying to think back when I first learned that particular
Laurin Wittig:tool, I was still writing books. My last book, I finished in like
Laurin Wittig:2014. So probably a little bit before that was when I really
Laurin Wittig:started consciously communicating with my guides.
Alan Carroll:So the books that you wrote, dealing with the work
Alan Carroll:that you're doing,
Laurin Wittig:oddly, four of the six were, I write I wrote, I
Laurin Wittig:don't I'm not writing them anymore. But historical romance
Laurin Wittig:and medieval Scotland were magical cultures. Oh, very first
Laurin Wittig:book was about a healer, who worked with energy from her
Laurin Wittig:hands. I did not know that. I could do that when I wrote that
Laurin Wittig:book. So yeah, it was not a conscious thing. But clearly,
Laurin Wittig:Spirit was working through me on that too.
Alan Carroll:Now, the palms of the hands, there's a lot of
Alan Carroll:sensitivity. There's this laying on of the hands, I've heard that
Alan Carroll:that expression is that expression that you use the
Alan Carroll:laying on of hands,
Laurin Wittig:it's not one that I use, partly because I
Laurin Wittig:typically work off the body about three to four inches. But
Laurin Wittig:there's a chakra, a minor chakra in the palms of your hands. So
Laurin Wittig:the chakras are the main most people know the seven or have
Laurin Wittig:maybe heard the seven that are the main something
Alan Carroll:down the spine. Yes. Yeah. So those
Laurin Wittig:are your really those are the big, you know,
Laurin Wittig:full on chakras. We have minor chakras. We have my new chakras
Laurin Wittig:all over the body. And all they are is if you know, Chinese
Laurin Wittig:medicine at all acupressure acupuncture. Sure is what the
Laurin Wittig:meridians Yep, well, where there's I can never remember the
Laurin Wittig:numbers. But the the main chakras are where there's just a
Laurin Wittig:whole bunch of those meridians crossing in the same place. The
Laurin Wittig:minor ones there have less of those lines crossing through
Laurin Wittig:them. The minute ones might only have one or two, probably at
Laurin Wittig:least two. But I have this instinct for where they are.
Laurin Wittig:Without before I ever knew about anything other than the major
Laurin Wittig:chakras. I knew that this was a place that was important. I knew
Laurin Wittig:that that the soul of the foot, you know, where you have that
Laurin Wittig:like the two balls at the front of your foot, and then there's
Laurin Wittig:that little sort of indentation between them. There's a chakra
Laurin Wittig:right in there. I found that before I knew what it was, you
Laurin Wittig:know, so I have an affinity for for these things, obviously. So
Laurin Wittig:yeah, so I don't call it laying on of hands. I do sometimes work
Laurin Wittig:hands on. When I do Reiki I'll often actually put my hands on
Laurin Wittig:the body. So in a way, I mean, it is laying on the hands. It's
Laurin Wittig:just done with a very specific intention. Because that's really
Laurin Wittig:each of the modalities that I've been learning about energy
Laurin Wittig:healing, it's just a different way of in tensioning how you're
Laurin Wittig:working with Energy.
Alan Carroll:The person is lying down on a table. Yep, the
Alan Carroll:massage table, and you put your hands three or four inches above
Alan Carroll:the body and you start to tune into what a second? What's going
Alan Carroll:on there, feel a little heat there feel a little cold there.
Alan Carroll:If you do with hot and cold, how do you what's the senses in your
Alan Carroll:hands?
Laurin Wittig:It primarily it's the best way to talk about it is
Laurin Wittig:like water flowing. So if everything is moving, well
Laurin Wittig:you're balanced and your energy systems working at peak
Laurin Wittig:performance, which is almost never what I see in people
Laurin Wittig:because they come to me because something's not working, right.
Laurin Wittig:But if it is, I feel like it's warm water flowing. Like there's
Laurin Wittig:no impediments. And it's just this beautiful, warm feeling. If
Laurin Wittig:there's no energy moving through something, I feel it is cold, or
Laurin Wittig:cool that different people feel a different way. So So you know,
Laurin Wittig:don't think that if you that you have to feel it that way, if you
Laurin Wittig:if you're interpreting no energy, what I find most often
Laurin Wittig:is what I call a turbulence. So just like water going over
Laurin Wittig:rapid, you get air bubbles in there and their sticks that are
Laurin Wittig:on there, and maybe a boulder that it's got to go around.
Laurin Wittig:That's a blockage of some sort to me. And it feels very prickly
Laurin Wittig:in my in my palms. So those are the main three things that I
Laurin Wittig:feel I do go through first things everybody is I go through
Laurin Wittig:and check all seven of the major chakras. And I often find that
Laurin Wittig:they're not in alignment. So imagine if your spine was not
Laurin Wittig:new, if you had scoliosis or something, then the nervous
Laurin Wittig:systems aren't going to work well the bones can't work well
Laurin Wittig:together. Same with the that major chakra system, if it's not
Laurin Wittig:in good alignment, then the energy is not flowing well,
Laurin Wittig:because it's gotta go around things. And it's and your
Laurin Wittig:chakras can be completely out of that spinal column alignment. So
Alan Carroll:let's say I, I feel something out of alignment,
Alan Carroll:I feel something that's cold, I feel that in a sense, there's a
Alan Carroll:blockage. So as a healer, what I want to do is somehow reduce the
Alan Carroll:blockage and allow that warm flow of river water flow into
Alan Carroll:the garden again, yeah, what do you do to remove the blockage?
Laurin Wittig:Well, I've learned from a lot a lot of
Laurin Wittig:experience, including my own healing, you know, where people
Laurin Wittig:were doing healing work for me, that those blockages are usually
Laurin Wittig:some story that you've been telling yourself. So it's a
Laurin Wittig:belief now, and it's maybe it's a trauma, or it's something that
Laurin Wittig:stuck in your body, and you're not allowing yourself to
Laurin Wittig:acknowledge it and process it. So we are taught to shove our
Laurin Wittig:emotions into our bodies, right? It's like, it's our culture,
Laurin Wittig:that gets very uncomfortable. If we express like, especially
Laurin Wittig:sadness, or grief or anger, you know, those kinds of things. And
Laurin Wittig:so particularly women, I find stuff, our emotions are
Laurin Wittig:uncomfortable emotions into our hips. So that's in that that
Laurin Wittig:whole hip cradle area. Men, I find tend to do it in shoulders.
Laurin Wittig:So I mean, I haven't worked with a lot of men, but the men I've
Laurin Wittig:found I've worked with Tip tend to have it in the shoulders. But
Laurin Wittig:once I find that I'm first of all, I'm thinking about the area
Laurin Wittig:of the chakra area, the main chakra area, because that that
Laurin Wittig:sort of governs different parts of your of your experience. But
Laurin Wittig:I'm looking for the story. And the way I do that, this is where
Laurin Wittig:the intuitive comes in. I can talk to spirit, and I've always
Laurin Wittig:invited in my clients spirits to be with us and to help and to
Laurin Wittig:work through me if needed. And so usually something I'll get an
Laurin Wittig:image, you know, in my head, I'll get maybe a word, I
Laurin Wittig:sometimes get lyrics, you know, song lyrics, I may see a place
Laurin Wittig:or something that gives me a certain time, you know, era or
Laurin Wittig:something. And sometimes I know what it is, sometimes I just
Laurin Wittig:intuitively understand what I'm being given. But often I'll go
Laurin Wittig:okay, to the client. I don't know why I'm getting this. But
Laurin Wittig:here's, I just got this lyric, or I'm seeing this kind of
Laurin Wittig:picture. And I think it's, you know, like, it's a farm, maybe I
Laurin Wittig:don't know, it doesn't look like it's ancient or anything, but
Laurin Wittig:it's not like in our lifetime or, you know, something like
Laurin Wittig:that. And 10 times out of 10 the client figures it out or knows
Laurin Wittig:immediately what what it's referring to. And then that
Laurin Wittig:allows us to have a conversation about whatever that's brought us
Laurin Wittig:to. And so I'm the whole time we're talking about it, I'm
Laurin Wittig:working with the energy trying to loosen it up. And it's really
Laurin Wittig:all hand motion. For me. It's it's kind of like, you know, if
Laurin Wittig:you if you put your hand on water and stir it up, it starts
Laurin Wittig:to move and things can flow differently. So I'm working with
Laurin Wittig:that. I find what I call sludge in a lot of them, which to me
Laurin Wittig:looks like black tar kind of goo. So sometimes I'm unwinding
Laurin Wittig:that and pulling it out and sending it into the light while
Laurin Wittig:we're Talking about all this. Because if you don't reveal what
Laurin Wittig:the problem is, which I do, by bringing it up, where we can
Laurin Wittig:talk about it, it's not going to go away. So as I talk about my
Laurin Wittig:processes reveal, so bring it up, release, process, and then
Laurin Wittig:transform. And that's where you get to heal. That's the healing.
Alan Carroll:Go ahead and say that again, Lauren. So my
Alan Carroll:audience can, repetition is the mother of learning, I learned,
Alan Carroll:just to say that, again,
Laurin Wittig:it does require me to remember what I just said.
Laurin Wittig:But there's three steps that I talk about with my healing,
Laurin Wittig:there's reveal, which is finding what is causing the block, and
Laurin Wittig:bringing it up, I often call it bringing it up into the light,
Laurin Wittig:bringing it up into consciousness, because it's all
Laurin Wittig:subconscious when it's stuck in your body. So we bring it up
Laurin Wittig:into consciousness. And we start to talk about it while I'm
Laurin Wittig:working with the energy. So I'm loosening up the energy, the
Laurin Wittig:conversation is helping to loosen up the energy we are
Laurin Wittig:sometimes we're problem solving, how can we look at this from a
Laurin Wittig:different perspective, you were a four year old things that are
Laurin Wittig:terribly traumatic at four are often no big deal when you're
Laurin Wittig:30. So it's things like that, that we can we can discuss, we
Laurin Wittig:can talk about we can and I can move the energy of, and then we
Laurin Wittig:get to transform from pain into health or wellness or
Laurin Wittig:improvement. And it's it's a beautiful three, three part
Laurin Wittig:process that I go through again, and again and again, with my
Laurin Wittig:clients. And it's it's magical.
Alan Carroll:Yeah, it's really, it's, it's using the I'll call
Alan Carroll:it the fifth element of space, which is the metaphysical
Alan Carroll:spiritual element. And you are, the word that comes to my mind
Alan Carroll:is aeration. When you when you aerate something that's
Alan Carroll:condensed, it loosens it. Yes. And those pockets of blocks are
Alan Carroll:like something is condensed there. And yeah, that's a great
Alan Carroll:way to say it. In the mind. There's a story connected with
Alan Carroll:the condensing. And if we can uncork the story, it releases
Alan Carroll:that energy, which directly affects the physical body. And
Alan Carroll:it gets released in the physical body, which then leads to a
Alan Carroll:conversation of mindfulness. Yes, because mindfulness is to
Alan Carroll:be aware of the thoughts, and how do you manage those
Alan Carroll:thoughts? And, and so when we talk about mindfulness and
Alan Carroll:spirituality, what are what are the connections that you see
Alan Carroll:between being mindful and the work that you do?
Laurin Wittig:Well, I mean, mindfulness is a whole lot of
Laurin Wittig:things to me. For me, a meditation practice is sort of
Laurin Wittig:where I first go to with mindfulness. But I also think
Laurin Wittig:that the mindfulness and I learned this through getting
Laurin Wittig:quiet with meditation is that ability to turn inside into an
Laurin Wittig:inside yourself. In Word, that's the word I'm looking for, and
Laurin Wittig:pay attention to what's going on. You know, so there's a
Laurin Wittig:mindfulness about what's really happening in my body, what's
Laurin Wittig:really happening in my egoic brain. That's just repeating
Laurin Wittig:things that are not helpful to us or that are keeping us
Laurin Wittig:trapped and patterns. So getting mindful about them for me, is,
Laurin Wittig:first of all, recognizing what's going on. Being aware. You know,
Laurin Wittig:that's the very first step at what you can't what you can't be
Laurin Wittig:aware of, you can't fix as far as I know. But then getting
Laurin Wittig:curious. Like, okay, I have this story. Where did this story come
Laurin Wittig:from? Why was it so important? How can I reframe that, and for
Laurin Wittig:me, most of my stories that were causing the problem where I was
Laurin Wittig:putting myself in a victim mode, you know, I was the victim of,
Laurin Wittig:you know, my parents or situations and having an
Laurin Wittig:epiphany one day and meditation that I was doing that allowed me
Laurin Wittig:to go away I'm not a victim. I am strong person I like the life
Laurin Wittig:I have. Everything has turned out really well. I've learned so
Laurin Wittig:much from what I've done. And that's a perspective change.
Laurin Wittig:Right? It's stepping out of the Oh poor pitiful me as my dad
Laurin Wittig:used to say to I have a look at all this great stuff that I have
Laurin Wittig:all this great stuff going on in my life. The person I am I
Laurin Wittig:really like maybe there's some things that I want to change
Laurin Wittig:still, but that's just called life. But being able to flip out
Laurin Wittig:of that I'm a victim of my I'll say my mother because that's
Laurin Wittig:what I was dealing with at the time sure, to look how strong
Laurin Wittig:she has made me by being such a difficult person and It totally
Laurin Wittig:changed my relationship with myself and totally changed my
Laurin Wittig:relationship with her and allowed all kinds of things to
Laurin Wittig:release. And it was, if not instantaneous, it was just a day
Laurin Wittig:or two, before I really was aware of a massive change within
Laurin Wittig:myself. Wow. So for me, that's mindfulness is pure, let giving
Laurin Wittig:yourself the time space and quiet, to look inward to
Laurin Wittig:acknowledge, and then reframe it, find a better way to look at
Laurin Wittig:it.
Alan Carroll:Excellent, very, very nice. I find that the did
Alan Carroll:two words you mentioned one was the meditation. And then you you
Alan Carroll:mentioned awareness of what's going on inside of you. And I
Alan Carroll:find that most people are, are trapped by the thoughts that
Alan Carroll:they're thinking about the situation that they're
Alan Carroll:experiencing, and they're not able to stop. Take a step back,
Alan Carroll:observe physical tension in your body. Something has pressed a
Alan Carroll:button out there in the outer world, it all triggers and
Alan Carroll:you're getting, you're getting stirred up with your thoughts.
Alan Carroll:And, and if you're not able to, to manage those thoughts, and in
Alan Carroll:the way I say is close to the way you say it, you can't manage
Alan Carroll:something you can't see. And if you don't see your body going
Alan Carroll:wacko in front of you right now, if you don't feel the anger
Alan Carroll:stirring up inside of you, if you don't know that that person,
Alan Carroll:you're making that person wrong, and that it's causing you to be
Alan Carroll:a victim, then you're at the effect. Right. And that's not
Alan Carroll:gonna, that's not going to escort you out of the the the
Alan Carroll:suffering, the psychological suffering that you are
Alan Carroll:experiencing. Yeah, so mindfulness is about that self
Alan Carroll:awareness. And most people don't have it. Most people I see.
Alan Carroll:They're just that's the way it is. Yeah.
Laurin Wittig:Oh, I can't change that. It's just the way
Laurin Wittig:it is. It's like, I'm sorry. But yes, you can change it. But you
Laurin Wittig:have to
Alan Carroll:want I can't, and why? Why is it difficult,
Alan Carroll:psychologically, for people to rewrite the story of the victim?
Alan Carroll:Why, why why? Why would you continue to write a story that
Alan Carroll:is causing you psychological and physical and emotional
Alan Carroll:suffering? What what, what causes somebody to hold on to a
Alan Carroll:story like that?
Laurin Wittig:I think I know I can speak for me, because it's
Laurin Wittig:this is a journey I have taken in the last five or six years of
Laurin Wittig:my life so far. For me, a lot of it was I didn't want to take
Laurin Wittig:responsibility for fixing myself, I wanted the other
Laurin Wittig:person to fix themselves. And that lack of responsibility for
Laurin Wittig:my own happiness in my own health, because it really had a
Laurin Wittig:big impact on my health to be in victim mode. You bet. And it and
Laurin Wittig:you know, it was my mother, I had protected myself from her my
Laurin Wittig:whole life. And it was not without reason. She was a
Laurin Wittig:narcissist, and she was really good at gaslighting people. So
Laurin Wittig:but, you know, I was like, wait a minute, I'm an adult, I'm not
Laurin Wittig:a kid anymore. I have made some very good boundaries with her.
Laurin Wittig:And I can, I can take the responsibility for my own
Laurin Wittig:happiness. And, I mean, people have been telling me I needed to
Laurin Wittig:do that I needed to forgive her. I'm like, I can't forgive her.
Laurin Wittig:She did all this shit to me kind of stuff. But I really it was it
Laurin Wittig:was a lot of not only forgiving her for being the heart of the
Laurin Wittig:person she is, was being grateful that she did the best
Laurin Wittig:she could. She did did the best she was capable of doing it.
Laurin Wittig:That changed my perspective. Yep. And the other thing was to
Laurin Wittig:stop judging her. Because a lot of what keeps us trapped is
Laurin Wittig:we're so busy judging everybody else. They're not doing it
Laurin Wittig:right. She needs to be a better mom. You know that person. Even,
Laurin Wittig:you know, like at the stoplight. It's crazy. Why aren't you
Laurin Wittig:going? That kind of thing. We judge all the time. I think it
Laurin Wittig:must be the nature of humans, but it's really become a
Laurin Wittig:practice of mine to catch myself doing that. Yes. We all do it
Laurin Wittig:and we're gonna always do it. It's just part of part of us, I
Laurin Wittig:think. But I catch myself quickly now.
Alan Carroll:Yeah, doing it. Yes, yes. Yes. And
Laurin Wittig:I follow a lot of what I feel in your energy and
Laurin Wittig:that is I I'll sit back. Take a really good breath. Yep. Try to
Laurin Wittig:find a different perspective. I love the traffic stuff because I
Laurin Wittig:think we all have issues in traffic. But you know, if I can
Laurin Wittig:say, well, maybe that guy's had a really bad day, and he's kind
Laurin Wittig:of tired, maybe work the night shift, and he just hasn't
Laurin Wittig:realized yet that the light has changed yet. Oh, well, me, bless
Laurin Wittig:his heart. I just wish he like, Okay, I that's fine. I'm fine.
Laurin Wittig:You just do what you can when you can. Okay? It's just little
Laurin Wittig:things. And for me, the storyteller in me is allows me
Laurin Wittig:to get curious about the person my dad taught me to be a people
Laurin Wittig:watcher early on, and we would play get the game of okay, that
Laurin Wittig:person is carrying a briefcase. I wonder what's in that
Laurin Wittig:briefcase? I wonder what that person's job is? I wonder how to
Laurin Wittig:say that. Is the person marry that? Yeah, it's all of these
Laurin Wittig:fun little things that were a game. But they served me really
Laurin Wittig:well now. Because I can say, Hmm, so that person is stuck at
Laurin Wittig:the, at the light. Maybe Maybe he fell asleep. And I don't want
Laurin Wittig:him driving anyway, maybe he's a little distracted. Because
Laurin Wittig:something just happened that upset him. Maybe he's on his way
Laurin Wittig:to meet his baby girl. And he's just not paying attention to
Laurin Wittig:everything. Yeah, it's an and that that may be it writers
Laurin Wittig:caught? What if? You know, because when we start dreaming
Laurin Wittig:up Characters or plot to go, Well, what if this person was
Laurin Wittig:like this? Or what if this happened in the plot? And what
Laurin Wittig:would that person do? And so it's a really handy little tool.
Laurin Wittig:But, but it takes away the judgment, it gives you a
Laurin Wittig:different perspective. And if you look at it as a game, then
Laurin Wittig:you know, that just automatically lifts the energy
Laurin Wittig:of it.
Alan Carroll:That's really, really what you just said is
Alan Carroll:matches my experience exactly. I'm driving down the road, and
Alan Carroll:the person is driving a pickup truck ahead of me. And they're
Alan Carroll:sort of erratic, you know, not driving the way I would drive,
Alan Carroll:right. And so you start to create the story about what's
Alan Carroll:going on in that person's life. And based on my
Laurin Wittig:story, the what? It's usually not a nice story.
Alan Carroll:That's right, they're wrong. That's my
Alan Carroll:judgment. They're not doing it the right way. Exactly. And what
Alan Carroll:happens is, once I write that story, in my mind, that becomes
Alan Carroll:the way I interact with that picture in the movie. And one
Alan Carroll:day, I just wait a minute. Do I have to write that story that
Alan Carroll:way? Could I think of another way to write the story in a way
Alan Carroll:that as Tony Robbins said, people do the best they can with
Alan Carroll:the resources they have? Right? It's like, can you write a story
Alan Carroll:that has a more compassion to it? That is less ego involved in
Alan Carroll:it? Right? And all of a sudden about me,
Laurin Wittig:and it's more about them? said again, it's
Laurin Wittig:less about me, right? And more about them. Right?
Alan Carroll:Right. The idea is that I, I can change the
Alan Carroll:narrative. But the challenge that I find changing the
Alan Carroll:narrative is I have to let go of the narrative, my initial
Alan Carroll:narrative, which is based on my conditioning, and letting go
Alan Carroll:requires flexibility and mental flexibility of not clinging to
Alan Carroll:those thoughts. Right. So I so I imagine that with meditation,
Alan Carroll:you talked about meditation, I find that meditation is managing
Alan Carroll:those thoughts, loosening up those thoughts that you're
Alan Carroll:thinking air rating, air rating, the thoughts, adding space to
Alan Carroll:something, dissolving something, fluidity, you're, you're flowing
Alan Carroll:more, you're not resisting so much. And so you are talking
Alan Carroll:exactly about flexibility. Not resisting reframing is one of
Alan Carroll:the words in NLP they talk about a lot. How could you reframe it?
Alan Carroll:The problem is that you have to, you have to be able to observe,
Alan Carroll:you have to be able to step back. And most people that I
Alan Carroll:find, step back means forgiving. And you mentioned goodness and
Alan Carroll:forgiveness is, you know, talking about forgiveness and
Alan Carroll:the importance of forgiveness, Laurie?
Laurin Wittig:Yeah, it's hard. That was that was where I got to
Laurin Wittig:with my mom, that changed everything is once I changed my
Laurin Wittig:perspective, and I one of the ways the visualizations I used
Laurin Wittig:to talk about perspective is I call it the Hawks eye view. You
Laurin Wittig:know, I love birds. So the Hawks fly really high and they see
Laurin Wittig:really sharp down below, but it's a very different
Laurin Wittig:perspective than if you're right here in it. And yep, so I try to
Laurin Wittig:imagine myself flying above whatever's going on and and
Laurin Wittig:helping that helps me change my perspective. The microscope
Laurin Wittig:activ about my mother, when I got out of the victim mode took
Laurin Wittig:responsibility for my own emotions and my own story.
Laurin Wittig:Whatever story I wanted to write, I not only was easy to
Laurin Wittig:forgive her, because that, that idea of going, you know, putting
Laurin Wittig:myself in her shoes for one thing, she was 22 years old when
Laurin Wittig:I was born, my dad's youngest brother, who was seven had just
Laurin Wittig:come to live with them, because his parents were both gone. They
Laurin Wittig:were young, they were, you know, they were fresh out of law
Laurin Wittig:school. And my dad had a nervous breakdown. And here's my mom,
Laurin Wittig:you know, seven months pregnant with me when when my brother my
Laurin Wittig:uncle, but I call my brother came to live with us, and her
Laurin Wittig:husband of three years or four years, is having a nervous
Laurin Wittig:breakdown. And there's nobody to hold it together. But her what
Laurin Wittig:kind of strength did that take in this 22 year old girl, right?
Laurin Wittig:And when I really was able to like put myself in her shoes and
Laurin Wittig:think, oh my god, I would be like a basket case I would never
Laurin Wittig:have had the you know, the the strength and with the strength
Laurin Wittig:of will to take care of everybody. Because she was she
Laurin Wittig:had a newborn baby, she had this kid who was traumatized from
Laurin Wittig:losing his family so early and, and this husband who was falling
Laurin Wittig:apart, and doing that little exercise changed everything for
Laurin Wittig:me. I've been a mother with a baby who was sick and you know,
Laurin Wittig:other responsibilities and changed it completely. And I was
Laurin Wittig:able to go, you know, she did a pretty good job considering what
Laurin Wittig:cards she was handed. Yep. And I can appreciate that. So instead
Laurin Wittig:of saying, Why aren't you the mother? I wish you were right.
Laurin Wittig:Oh, yeah, did a really good job with a really bad hand? Yep. And
Laurin Wittig:that I was immediately able to forgive her. At that point for
Laurin Wittig:not being the mother I wanted her to be You bet. And that was
Laurin Wittig:huge. So that's, again, a perspective change. You know, if
Laurin Wittig:you can, if you can walk in another man's shoes, you know,
Laurin Wittig:you can see through their eyes and through what they came
Laurin Wittig:through. And of course, I was, you know, not even born when all
Laurin Wittig:that was starting. And so I didn't have any perspective
Laurin Wittig:about it, except, you know, from my conscious, growing up years.
Laurin Wittig:So that was, that was really a powerful moment for me to
Laurin Wittig:forgive her. But then I also was able to forgive myself for not
Laurin Wittig:stepping up and understanding that sooner. Yep. That's great.
Laurin Wittig:What a change that made for both of us. We went from i She was
Laurin Wittig:defensive, I was I was always Bear Bear cating myself
Laurin Wittig:energetically from her energy. And the last probably couple of
Laurin Wittig:months of her life. We had this really lovely softening of the
Laurin Wittig:relationship, a gentleness, a compassion. She told me she was
Laurin Wittig:proud of me for the first time in my life. Wow. Makes me teary.
Alan Carroll:Yeah, too. Yeah, I feel it. I feel Yeah,
Laurin Wittig:it was. Yeah. I mean, that's, it's like, ah,
Alan Carroll:yeah, that's big. And it was
Laurin Wittig:it was a life changing lesson for me to go
Laurin Wittig:through that process, and, and I knew I was smart enough, I had
Laurin Wittig:learned enough about spirituality know that there was
Laurin Wittig:a reason we were still in that kind of locked together place.
Laurin Wittig:And that she wasn't going to go until I got the lesson. And I
Laurin Wittig:got the lesson and there wasn't long before she passed. And
Laurin Wittig:yeah, so it's, it's been, it's been lovely to be able to look
Laurin Wittig:back on her and admire what she did in the world. Because she
Laurin Wittig:did, she did a ton of really good stuff. But I couldn't see
Laurin Wittig:it for all my own crap. So yeah, so forgiveness is hard. But it
Laurin Wittig:is such a healing thing for both parties. That it's worth working
Laurin Wittig:on.
Alan Carroll:I'm I forgiveness. I asked myself, Why can't the
Alan Carroll:the ego forgive? And in the Course of Miracles, they spend
Alan Carroll:quite a bit of time talking about forgiveness. Okay. And
Alan Carroll:they say why, why we why the ego can't forgive is because it
Alan Carroll:would entail a, an undeserved sacrifice of my righteous wrath.
Alan Carroll:Yes, it would, it would be a gift that's undeserved and
Alan Carroll:unjustified. It would be a complete denial of the truth.
Alan Carroll:And, and so I live in that, that that frame of reality and that,
Alan Carroll:that creates my identity. And for me to let that go, would
Alan Carroll:would would dissolve a piece of the psychological identity that
Alan Carroll:I've identified myself have to be. And my ego is not in the
Alan Carroll:dissolving business. Right ego is in the holding on preserving
Alan Carroll:and defending my point of view business. Right and forgiveness.
Alan Carroll:So so when you when you forgave your mother, your mother
Alan Carroll:transformed in your eyes. Yeah. And transform for her. Yes. And
Alan Carroll:that is said, That's happiness. So happiness is something about
Alan Carroll:inside of you first and not forget trying to change the
Alan Carroll:world out there. It's just focus on the thoughts that you use to
Alan Carroll:paint that world in your mind.
Laurin Wittig:Right? Yeah, yeah, it's, um, it is a simple
Laurin Wittig:thing that is very hard to do. But it gets easier as you as I
Laurin Wittig:think, for me, at least as I've moved down my spiritual path
Laurin Wittig:and, and really worked on opening up my heart and
Laurin Wittig:understanding a lot more about how how the universe works,
Laurin Wittig:because it works in vast and mysterious and wonderful ways.
Laurin Wittig:And it helps me to understand that there's always a reason for
Laurin Wittig:something. There's always something for me, and whatever's
Laurin Wittig:going on. And especially if it's pissing me off, it's like,
Laurin Wittig:dammit, what did what do I need to learn from this? So it's,
Laurin Wittig:yeah, it's, it's, it's a it's a wonderful thing to do for
Laurin Wittig:yourself and for those around you. And then that ripples out
Laurin Wittig:to the world. Yep. Because if I'm no longer in this kind of
Laurin Wittig:icky energy, I'm not putting that out in the world anymore.
Laurin Wittig:For one thing, or not, not often. But now the other person,
Laurin Wittig:my mother, in this case, also wasn't putting that out to the
Laurin Wittig:world because she didn't have to anymore. Right? And then
Laurin Wittig:energies like water, it's like when you drop a pebble in the in
Laurin Wittig:a lake, and the ripples go out and out and out and out. You're
Laurin Wittig:changing the world just by opening up your heart and
Laurin Wittig:letting go of
Alan Carroll:it. Isn't that sweet?
Laurin Wittig:In that sweet? Yeah, it's, it's easy. And when
Laurin Wittig:you think about it, to change the world, if you understand
Laurin Wittig:that it starts with your own really starts with your own
Laurin Wittig:heart, the energy of that,
Alan Carroll:right, I'm I, I understand the the the idea of
Alan Carroll:the saying is, God cannot do for you, what God cannot do through
Alan Carroll:you. And if you allow yourself to be a channel for the
Alan Carroll:spiritual energy and not judging it and not resisting it, I'm not
Alan Carroll:ready. I'm not old enough. I haven't meditated enough. I'm
Alan Carroll:not worthy. This I'm not worthy. I'm a victim, who am I to think
Alan Carroll:that I can heal? But if I believe that I'm a divine being,
Alan Carroll:and an energy form called the physical body, manifesting in
Alan Carroll:this spiritual point in time than I will allow, why would I
Alan Carroll:not practice forgiveness in every moment of my life? For the
Alan Carroll:in Christianity, they talk about salvation, and salvation is the
Alan Carroll:forgiveness of sin. And so the forgiveness of your mother is
Alan Carroll:there some sort of wrongness in there, and when you forgive it,
Alan Carroll:the wrongness dissolves and it dissolves inside of you. And you
Alan Carroll:become a channel of the light. Yeah, and you're you are a
Alan Carroll:channel you are a channel of light. Yeah,
Laurin Wittig:that's exactly what I've experienced. And I
Laurin Wittig:love it. I love it. I know that I can light things up. Yeah, I
Laurin Wittig:can it's I have been called enlightenment and all of that.
Laurin Wittig:Yes, enlightenment
Alan Carroll:called enlightenment. You're an
Alan Carroll:enlightened being you are you are in the enlightenment
Alan Carroll:business. You are enlightening other people you are reducing
Alan Carroll:the pain, reducing the heaviness and we are throwing things off
Alan Carroll:the hot air balloon has the basket when you want to make it
Alan Carroll:go higher. You throw the ballast off. So that makes it lighter
Alan Carroll:and lighter and lighter. So that's the what? Drop the
Alan Carroll:sandbags drop to sandbags. And so then revealing and vulnerable
Alan Carroll:and sharing stories and letting go of the of the sand bags of
Alan Carroll:their thoughts. It frees up some level of their consciousness and
Alan Carroll:they are able to experience a much more joyful place in
Alan Carroll:consciousness, a healing place in consciousness. And I refer to
Alan Carroll:it as mindfulness mindfulness is that that space in consciousness
Alan Carroll:in which you have been practicing, throwing the
Alan Carroll:sandbags throwing the sandbags off, and so you get lighter and
Alan Carroll:lighter and lighter and lighter and your being and joy and
Alan Carroll:happiness and love. But you don't have to wait for it to
Alan Carroll:happen to you. You can make it happen right now. Yeah, for
Alan Carroll:yourself. Just start. Just start loving this Start joyful just
Alan Carroll:start smiling and sharing yourself and being vulnerable.
Alan Carroll:And
Laurin Wittig:yeah, and here's, here's just a little tip. For
Laurin Wittig:the listeners, if you're not super aware of what's going on
Laurin Wittig:within you, I'm gonna get back to traffic because it's one of
Laurin Wittig:those things we all share. If you notice that you're getting
Laurin Wittig:that you like your maybe your throats tightening up, or you're
Laurin Wittig:getting that that cramp in your stomach that you get when you
Laurin Wittig:kind of anxious or mad or break up for me for years, because of
Laurin Wittig:menopause, I would break out into a heavy sweat anytime I got
Laurin Wittig:angry. Notice that, notice the physical, because your body is
Laurin Wittig:telling you what's going on. And it's a wonderful way to start
Laurin Wittig:noticing. Yes, we are usually aware of those things that don't
Laurin Wittig:feel good in our body. We don't understand them. But it's a
Laurin Wittig:communication. The body is a communicator for us. And so
Laurin Wittig:that's just that's where I start. And I do it in traffic. I
Laurin Wittig:get to those stoplight I'm like, Oh my gosh, oh, yeah, that feels
Laurin Wittig:very, very good. Okay, take a breath. Yep. Think of a new
Laurin Wittig:story that puts that person in a in a good light, or, or maybe
Laurin Wittig:that person is just having a bad day. And I just need to send
Laurin Wittig:them a little love and compassion. And that's fun to do
Laurin Wittig:for people actually. Let me just light up your day.
Alan Carroll:That's nice. That's something you could do.
Alan Carroll:You don't experience the effect of it. But you think that you
Alan Carroll:know what if I just send that person some light and love, I
Alan Carroll:wonder if that will add that ripple into the into the field
Alan Carroll:of awareness?
Laurin Wittig:Yeah, yeah. I and, and you were talking about
Laurin Wittig:smiling at people, I love to go, I probably told you this story,
Laurin Wittig:or this thing that I do when we talked on my podcast, but I love
Laurin Wittig:in mostly the grocery store or target where I'm standing in
Laurin Wittig:line for a while I like to just smile at people, they light up
Laurin Wittig:or I'll turn around and go, Hey, you have a nice day. Or Gee,
Laurin Wittig:that looks like a good good thing to buy. That's I should
Laurin Wittig:have thought of that. Just an upbeat conversation of you know,
Laurin Wittig:30 seconds or less Yes. Or just a smile. And it changes the
Laurin Wittig:demeanor it changes the energy you wine. And
Alan Carroll:everybody can do that. Yeah, I did a program with
Alan Carroll:Lou Tice investment and excellence. And he said you're
Alan Carroll:You're a wizard, and you have the power to put a smile on
Alan Carroll:people's faces. You have a power to bring light to people. What
Alan Carroll:do you mean by that? If you're in Target, talk to the lady or
Alan Carroll:the person that is checking out? Who's just checking out checking
Alan Carroll:out, just have a conversation with the person and smile and
Alan Carroll:and can you make the person smile? Can you make the person
Alan Carroll:change their state of consciousness? And you'll notice
Alan Carroll:that it's easy. Yeah, it's easy to change someone state, but you
Alan Carroll:have to want to do it. And, and so you now have created a flower
Alan Carroll:in your garden too. So it's like, wow, they're a flower. Now
Alan Carroll:you got a flower in your garden. And you you created it.
Laurin Wittig:And it feels so good to do that for somebody
Laurin Wittig:else. Oh, yeah. And then that just opens you up even more, you
Laurin Wittig:know, so it's a win win. I'm gonna consciously do this to
Laurin Wittig:lift you up. And look, I feel so good for doing it. Oh, yeah,
Laurin Wittig:it's just
Alan Carroll:old. Children. You know, kids are easy, because
Alan Carroll:they're not defensive. Adults are a little bit weird. But kids
Alan Carroll:that you can just, you can, you can smile and have fun with
Alan Carroll:kids, they're more open. And it's sort of sad sometimes to
Alan Carroll:see children that are so condensed that they are frozen,
Alan Carroll:they can't allow that spontaneity because of some
Alan Carroll:something that's, you know, happened in their life. So I'm,
Alan Carroll:I really like the, the idea of what what you're talking about
Alan Carroll:with, with letting go and forgiveness and mindfulness and
Alan Carroll:being aware and it fits very well into our journey, our
Alan Carroll:journey for mindfulness. I very much appreciate Lauren, all the
Alan Carroll:all the wisdom that you have given our audience today, as a
Alan Carroll:as a as a being as a being of the light. So it's fun to see
Alan Carroll:someone who's actually taken that abstract space and brought
Alan Carroll:it down into the physical and is able to use the use that energy.
Alan Carroll:They call it divine energy and bring it down into this this
Alan Carroll:plane of existence and use it for healing. If folks wanted to
Alan Carroll:follow up with you and connect with you and read your books and
Alan Carroll:go and lie on the table and have those spiritual experiences. How
Alan Carroll:does one connect with you?
Laurin Wittig:Well, the best the easiest places to go to my
Laurin Wittig:website which is heart light joy.com I'm, and everything can
Laurin Wittig:be found through there, the books are there, you can book an
Laurin Wittig:appointment with me through that website, I do a free call if you
Laurin Wittig:just want to call and see if you want to work with me, I love
Laurin Wittig:talking to you. And there's no requirement that you work with
Laurin Wittig:me. Alan knows I love to talk about this stuff. And then
Laurin Wittig:there's also I have if you go to the website, and there'll be a
Laurin Wittig:pop up that comes up where you get an opportunity to sign up
Laurin Wittig:for my newsletter, if you do that, you get a free PDF
Laurin Wittig:download for me, that is, go figure, Lauren's top three ways
Laurin Wittig:to communicate with your guides. So it's, that's my free, my free
Laurin Wittig:gift for you, I should just say gifts, because gifts are free,
Laurin Wittig:right. And so I invite you to do that. And yeah, and I will be
Laurin Wittig:bringing out a course, very soon, it's almost ready to
Laurin Wittig:launch. That is a more extensive, deep dive into
Laurin Wittig:working with your guides into learning how to communicate with
Laurin Wittig:them. And so if you're interested in that, keep an eye
Laurin Wittig:out for it. If you're on the newsletter, you'll hear about it
Laurin Wittig:when it gets released. So
Alan Carroll:wonderful. So just go ahead and say your your
Alan Carroll:website again.
Laurin Wittig:It's heart light, Joy. So heart like in your chest
Laurin Wittig:light, like you turn it on and enjoy that wonderful
Alan Carroll:dotcom Wonderful. Well, Lauren has been a
Alan Carroll:pleasure, once again, to be able to share your experiences with
Alan Carroll:our audience and have a conversation, to expand the
Alan Carroll:lights and bring it down for everyone. So that we can use the
Alan Carroll:mindfulness and the spirituality which is within everybody, to to
Alan Carroll:transform our experience of living to reduce the
Alan Carroll:psychological suffering, and allow us to have a more joyful
Alan Carroll:existence and happiness on this life.
Laurin Wittig:Yeah, we can change the world. We can
Laurin Wittig:literally change the world for the better.
Alan Carroll:So you're you're a game changer for the world.
Alan Carroll:Well, thank you, Lauren. Thank you ally. Bye bye now.
