Athletics and the ADHD Brain with Dr. Saara Haapanen

Welcome to Parenting That Kid. My name is Ashley Tolliver. As a mom of twins, one being a highly sensitive child who responds to the world in a non traditional and sometimes challenging way. I understand the desire to find the golden answer. Maybe there is no golden answer. But there are resources, tips and tricks we can all use to help us make this uniquely normal parenting journey a little more fun. This podcast is a roadmap to parenting that kid for myself and other parents. If recording my journey as I seek a clear starting point, community and effort to normalize what sometimes feels abnormal, supports at least one parent, then my time is not wasted. And hey, if it doesn't, well, there's documented proof that moms deserve a glass of wine. Cheers.

On today's episode of parenting that kid, I hope to be answering a call for help. I'm a part of a lot of ADHD mom groups, parent groups, support groups, you name it, I think I found every ADHD group possible online to learn and gather as much information as I can. And every spring and every fall, inevitably, the same question pops up, or the same concern. My child cannot focus on the sport we've enrolled in for a parent will share exactly what's happening out on the field in the pool are in the gym. And enough inevitably, another parent chimes in and says we have the complete opposite going on with my ADHD child. They are extremely focused. And in fact, so focus that they will not focus on anything else in life. Now, I just so happened to be a mom of twins who both have these issues. One is extremely focused top elite athlete athlete who has nothing else that he finds pleasure in life. Lucky for me being a mom of twins, both who have ADHD type symptoms. I have the pleasure of experiencing both of these circumstances. On one I have your ADHD child who cannot focus on many, many things. One of those things being athletics, we have signed her up for every sport under the moon. The first day goes great. Third day, we're done. No more does she want to go. And then on the other I have a son who is hyper focused athlete, an elite athlete. The dedication he has for his age is unmeasurable to anybody else I've ever met. But here's the tricky thing. Where does your child fall? And how do you support that one? Do you keep pushing? Or do you remove from the one who's too intense into something? I wanted to find this answer because that's what pops up every year when it's time to register for another sport. every parent's asking that question Do I Do I not? How do I keep my kids involved? Or how do I decrease the involvement so that my child can experience other things? So that's what I did. I searched for an elite athlete with ADHD and I found an amazing one. I actually brought on today's guest, Dr. Psara happening to share about her experiences an elite athlete and her diagnosis not until she was an adult and how that either hindered or maybe supported her her athletic career. Dr. Psara is a happier, healthier human coach and the move at work Challenge program creator, Sarah is passionate about helping humans perform at their best both physically and psychologically. As a former elite athlete, she knows what the world class coaching looks like, and has spent the last two decades studying human performance and motivation. Sarah has been coaching humans for 22 years, she is passionate about helping her clients find the most efficient and sustainable path to live a happier, healthier life. Through her corporate wellness program move at work challenge. She fights a sitting pandemic and helps employees improve their mood and productivity at work. She combines her educational background and Kinesiology and Health Promotion with sports and exercise psychology to transform her human's lives utilizing approaches that are fun, engaging and exciting. This was a great conversation with Zara, I really feel like I have a better understanding for both of my children, being an athlete and maybe the one that's not an athlete, and how I can support them as a parent and what their bodies need so that when they are an adult, they have the tools to continue on the care that their little brains will need at that point. All right, so day Doctor Saara is here to speak with me and about an being an elite athlete with ADHD and I'm going to say before I ask you to share a little bit about who you are. I want to tell you why I was really intrigued with your story when we spoke last. Because I think you have something to speak to parents about that maybe we just don't know. And we have a special special type of person to be an elite athlete and then also on that to have this trait about them that I I say it's a hidden superpower that people just don't really know about.

That I have read many articles about elite athletes that Terry Bradshaw 's and abeilles and Michael Phelps who have ADHD and I Have a lot of people who listen to my show, who have children that can't focus and are constantly moving with a typical what you think of he hyper are all this. And then you have these elite athletes. And the only way you can be an elite athlete is if you can focus in on that there's no way you can bounce all over the place you focus in on that. And so it just always seems like it's this two sided that maybe we don't know much about, or we don't talk about that there really is this other form of ADHD. And these athletes are proof of that. So that's why your story just really intrigued me because you've walked the same path. So thank you so much for joining me today. And if you don't mind sharing a little bit about yourself. So my guests know who are listening to you today.

So happy to be here. My name is Dr. Syra. Sorry, I happen in um, I am generally a health and fitness expert. I help people with their mind and their muscles or their brains and their bodies. So my background is in kinesiology, which is the study of human movement, and psychology, and my Master's and PhD are in sports and exercise psychology. So a lot of what I do study, and what I have been studying is the science of motivation, and how to get people to perform at their best and human performance. But also, a lot of my research has been looking at team dynamics, and basically how the coach or it doesn't necessarily have to be a coach, it could be how any human motivates other human beings. And then I also have a program called move at work challenge. Because my myself having ADHD. In 2017, I started to fight the sitting pandemic and wanted to get more people moving and feeling better at work. So I also do a little bit of that. And I've been coaching humans for 22 years, starting in high level athletics. I used to coach international level divers, all levels of divers, and kind of transitioned in the early 2000s 10s to actually just train regular humans. So all of us other people, but yeah, I did work with athletes for I'm still sometimes once in a while, and I do work with athletes, but my big passion is just helping humans live happier, healthier lives. One baby step at a time. So good,

so good. But you yourself are an elite athlete, or, well, I'm gonna ask you this. Do you consider yourself an elite athlete forever? Or were you an elite athlete, and now you're just regular humans, as you just said,

I'm a regular yo man. But doing what I do, I definitely workout more than regular people. So my athletic journey was that I'll start a start a real long time ago, I started delivering newspapers when I was 10. So that I could save money by trampoline. And I discovered that diving, they had a trampoline there at the pool and it was much cheaper than trampolining lessons. We had grown up with a pool so I could always swim. And I was a gymnast before that. So when I was 10, I enrolled myself in diving and kind of the rest is history. I fell in love really quick. There's a I grew up in Canada. So there's a four level learn to dive program. And then I went through that pretty quick and train the diving club and never looked back and then decided that was going to be my ticket out of my small town. And I knew I wanted to leave very early. So I just fell in love. And I was diagnosed with ADHD until a few years ago when I was 36. But knowing all that now it made so my whole like life made sense once I realized that that was something. So to all the parents out there a huge thing with ADHD like there is that hyper ADHD and it doesn't necessarily have to be hyper like moving your body around. That's that's often sometimes the case. But it is like a hyper focus. So it doesn't i i would love if everyone can put their children in a sport but it doesn't necessarily have to be a sport for anybody with ADHD or without ADHD like finding some type of movement that you love. That brings you joy that you don't feel like you have to do because we only have one body for The rest of our lives, right? We I always say at the end of my videos, you have to take care of your body, it's the only place you have to live. I want every human being on this planet to find something that they love doing. That is movement based, whether that's dancing, singing, around dancing, hiking, skipping, like biking, running, playing a sport, walking in nature, just going for a walk slacklining I don't know, if there's a million things. I think it's important for children and adults alike, this is gonna increase your lifespan, this is gonna help fight disease, this is going to mentally help you more live you whatever, no, they've science has proven that like moving your body can do the same thing that antidepressants can do. The hardest thing is to start and to find something you like, and to know that there are millions of things out there. And if you don't like it, try something else. And try something else. And if you have an ADHD child, there's you're gonna have to try a lot of things. But I promise that there is something out there that your kid is gonna like, and you'd maybe just haven't found out Yeah. And I might be like going to a waterpark or exploring in the woods like it doesn't, it would be awesome. If it were sport, because sport teaches you so many life transferable skills, that for me,

growing up with athletes, and being an elite athletes and seeing how athletes have to manage themselves and different levels, but even in like college, when you go to college, and you have to have an athletic career, and a real life school, like a regular person, you know, if you were to give me the choice to hire someone who was ever an athlete in college, over someone else 100% Like those people know how to manage their life just better, because you have to take those skills that you learn in your sport, and they don't just stop in your sport, like they transfer over to so many other aspects of life, how to, like, speak to a team how to work with others, even if you're an individual sport, like as a diver, I wasn't an individual. But I still had teammates, I still have to learn how to get along with people and manage my time. And I was super passionate about the actual process, which I think as an ADHD are like we are missing the same sort of dopamine loop that regular people have. So actually finding out a lot of my diving friends also had ADHD. But you wonder why, like, you're literally I didn't dive platform that much, but you're putting yourself at the end of a ledge jumping off flipping, and then you're like, Oh, I gotta land upside down. And of course, you're gonna get like a little dopamine hit. Like we all have to be a little crazy to do that. Because like ADHD, and diving or gymnastics or anything, like a little bit scary like that, I think might be if your kid like, doesn't like a lot, like isn't into soccer, like the easy things like maybe they need a little bit of that adrenaline because I feel like if I didn't have my sport, I I'd been a different person. You know, I could have that energy could have got went somewhere else and not been as positive and you know, got me a full athletic scholarship. I got to another thing that was amazing. So once I once I finished with my sport, I went to the University of Wyoming. I was really blessed I had dual citizenship. So I moved to Finland to represent the Finnish diving team to train for the 2008 Olympics and do my masters. So I did my masters at the University of Nebraska, which is also right in my PhD. They're one of the top 10 universities for sports science in the world, which is amazing. And my program was in English, which is amazing, because I can't speak Finnish but it's I prefer to do this in English. Yeah. And yeah, I spent that whole year. We were living in Finland. I think the second semester I was home for 12 days, I was traveling all over the world. That year they were supposed to take 34 Women in my event. I was ranked 30 us at Worlds. And then I found out 12 days before the opening ceremonies that they were taking 29 So I was the very first person not to go. I retired immediately, at the ripe age of feels like 28 ish. But I was done. I was so ready to be done. But it was also a life goal of mine and I really wanted that being At that point, still a student in sports and exercise psychology, I really wanted that for like my resume. I wanted to be able to say I was an Olympian so I can help people. But I don't really love that thing. Everything happens for a reason. But I would have, you never know I am where I am now. And that's probably all part of the journey. But yeah,

so that's, well, that's exactly you are where you are now. And it's part of a journey. And I think parents don't see that. That's the journey of of this. So I have very opposite ADHD type children. Well, one is diagnosed one, we just started having diagnosed, but boy, he might as well be a walk up has been to medicine be like, oh, yeah, but very different signs of what ADHD looks like. And so it is unique to watch this and to raise that one cannot focus on anything, when it comes to things we have tried everything like said, Try it off, we have tried at all. And she says she likes it two days later, I'm done. Okay, well, I have the opposite. I do have an elite athlete, and he is hooked. And he is self motivated. And beyond most children his age, in fact, I've yet to meet another nine year old who's getting up before school to play for an hour by himself, research and nutrition, and then insists that I provide that type of thing for him. It's just a very different type of ADHD. And then, like you said, you have to keep trying. Whereas if I tried to do more with him, he would it would be too much for me, that would be his overstimulation. If I said, Let's do this, and this and this, where if I don't do that, for her, she's not getting what she needs. And she's still searching for that dopamine input. And I love that you mentioned that dopamine, because I don't think people really understand that, that they just don't process it the same way others might, and the dopamine doesn't run in the body the same way. And so movement, whatever form that might be for each child, or each human, not just child is so important. And you might just have to try and try and try again. You were diagnosed as an adult, do you look back and think that that was either a blessing or a curse as an athlete when you were younger and didn't know that you had ADHD? Or do you feel like it's neither here nor there?

I really like to analyze myself. So I'm, I think it's a blessing that I didn't know, because I would have been like, oh, I have 82 HD and I have to be like, I'm this way, or I'm that way or it's an excuse. And I use it as an excuse now. Oh, like, I'm the messy Cuban in my relationship. And I'm like, well, that's my ADD, like I can't, and Brent's, like you can make a change, like you can decide to do this better. And I'm like, Yeah, I can. But that's not a priority. I was like, Well, I'm glad I did it. So I feel like I want to use that to my advantage when I was a kid. Um, I think not knowing was probably good because I like kept myself entertained. Currently, I have a lot of things going on in my life. I have a sunglass company, I have like three different components of my fitness company. I do my own gardening, like my home renovation. But I've discovered that I work really well, when I can focus on something. And then when my brain is like, Nope, we're done, I need something else to focus on. And I think a huge lesson. For most of my athletic career, I was also a student. So in my mind, when I retired from diving, everything else was going to excel, because I was going to have all this extra time my academics were going to be awesome, I could have time to I don't know if I want a side job or sort of side hustle. But what happened is my athletics ended.

And I was like, I'm still me, my brain is still like, I still want to like fill that people are like you always do too much. And I was like, I need to do a lot of things. Otherwise, I'm like I get I also have like depression and anxiety. And if I'm not working out, and if I'm not doing a lot, I'm gonna go into a downward spiral of me not being in a happy place. And I've known from experience and I've tried antidepressants and like lifestyle modifications for me. And it's actually interesting that they actually just came up with some studies that have shown that it's not necessarily the antidepressants that are fixing the chemical imbalance or that there might not unnecessarily be this specific chemical amounts that antidepressants have been created to solve, right, which is interesting that the science is just coming out now. Like, don't you think they figure that out before they started prescribing but that's just like, that's how my science brain works. I would kind of want like to know what it's doing. But anyways, like antidepressants didn't work for me. I created a one of my programs, happier, healthier human because I needed that for myself. And I was Like, and my ADD brain is like, Okay, I gotta do this, I gotta do this, I gotta do this, I gotta do this, I gotta do this. And then I'm, like, successful for that day. But if I don't do this, this and this, and all I'm gonna do is like, have coffee, not to practice and not work out like that is gonna be a bad day for me. And sometimes it's like, I coach people through this as well, but figuring out like, what works best for you, or your child, or what do they need, like maybe for your son, he's, there's the zone of genius. And you just need to like, be like, here's the soccer thickness, here's the computer here, you can like, do your own research, but like he is so already intrinsically motivated to want to be better at, like, he's got his like, hyper focus, which is awesome. Whereas like, with your daughter, it's going to be more challenging. Because her probably she probably has like inattentive or. But the thing is, is like, that's their, that's always there in the background, until there's going to be that one thing that he's really going to hook on to. And it might not necessarily like as much as we want it to be something that has to do with movement, maybe movement, it might be something like sewing or crafting, or, like, I don't know, hand scale, like knitting or whatever. But the thing is, we know how important exercise is. And it's going to take you 20 minutes. So sometimes it's one of those things, and it's easier to explain this to humans, like, I mean to adult humans, like we go to work, we don't love going to work everyday, like some day's work is awesome, which is amazing. But like some days, you just have to go to work. Even though you don't want to go to work, like you're gonna get a paycheck. There's all these reasons. And we have to kind of think like that with exercise, like, we have to move our body for 20 minutes, so that we're gonna get the dopamine flowing naturally. And then we can go on with the rest of our day. And if it feels good, we can do more than 20 minutes. And sometimes it might be like, around around the park, sometimes it might be going for a walk, but we have to prioritize for our mental state to move our body for 2120.

And so here's the question, then, how long does that 20 minutes last within the body? Is this you should probably do 20 Minutes two times a day, you should do 20 minutes three times one time is all you need, or is it dependent on each human being? And they have to figure out their magic?

Yes. Yeah. Okay. I would say like, at least 20 minutes. And then. So one of the Iowan after I got diagnosed. One of the reasons I got diagnosis, I couldn't write my PhD, I would like sit to focus, and I like could not focus. And they did a bunch of brain scans. And they actually thought I had a brain tumor. And they had two more brain scans. And then they're like, oh, no, you're just a unicard. You have I had traumatic brain injury, and all lobes of my brain. ADHD, 100% ADHD, they're like, we literally gave you a focus task, and your brain shut off. And I was like, oh, yeah, that's anything boring. And they're like, oh, yeah, the focus has gave, it's boring. I was like, That's literally what I feel when I would go read my own PhD. I'm ready to go, wah, and then just turn off. And so

real quickly, were you diving at that time? Do you have the outlet of the athletic, athletic? No,

I was I was retired. This was just me in regular life.

Oh, gosh, okay, okay, sorry, go ahead. Oh, gosh, but

I still have to work out like I have to work out every day. So after the whole process, I started working with a brain trainer. And we were like trying to come up with strategies, like you're really high functioning, we're trying to come up with strategies, and a huge part it's like, and years ago, in 2017, I created a move at work Challenge Program, which is five to seven minutes, a movement you can do at your place at work, you don't need any equipment. And I was like, I created that because when I first moved to Denver, I had to work in a law firm. I was at a law office sitting at a desk and I'm not a person to consider a desk. So I'd be like, oh, and I like need to move my body. So for me, if I get a good like, longer workout. I can go most of the day and then I need to like take a walk. But everyone needs to find out at least 20 minutes movement. Usually at the start of your day. It's great. But it depends on the person and you might just need five minutes. Science has actually proven that if you within a 60 minute work hour. If you work for 15 minutes and take 10 minutes of break, a movement of physically getting up not having a 90 degree bend in your hips. You're going to be more productive for taking a 10 minute break for every hour. That would be ideal, depending on your work. situation, you know, sometimes you can't do it. But if you say most hours of the day, or at the top of every hour, I'm gonna go walk around my house or go around the block or something. But human beings are not meant to be seated all day. It's the fourth biggest preventable cause of death. And we have our bodies and they're meant to move. Might as well use them or lose them.

Right? And if we don't, it's gonna start moving in its chair anyway, we we just start naturally fidgeting more. And I mean, you see this in children all time, right that they do, they squirm and they get up and they didn't even know they're doing it. They're just doing it. And she was saying, okay, so you just mentioned a brain trainer. Is that what you said? Brain Coach, can you? What does that mean into that? I've never heard a brain trainer before brain coach. So can you give me a little bit of insight on how that worked with your brain?

Um, so I believe she was helps people with language. So she works with a lot of people who had strokes and neurological disorders. And I think I challenged her a little because she's like, You have TBI? And I was like, yeah, and she's like, Yeah, but you're writing your PhD and you function like a normal person. And I was like, Yeah, but I have ADHD. And she's like, Oh, well, I don't. And then she sat me down and had we do a test. And after that was done, and she's like, okay, yeah, I see your ad. Now. It's just different. So she gave me a lot of different techniques. One of them was the Pomodoro Pomodoro method. Basically, like, you work for 20 minutes, you take a 10 minute break, you work for 20 minutes, you take a 10 minute break. A lot of it was executive functioning stuff, which I know I should do. I hate doing it. Basically, like, she'll give me a piece of paper before I sit down on a task. So you fill it out yourself. It's like, what do I need to get to? Write it down? What are the tasks and priorities? What's the order? What are the if we're gonna need anything, so for me for sometimes it's like, I need the software. I'm if I'm going to be like scheduling out newsletters for the week for my people. So just like writing out all the steps, because the way that my brain works, I imagine ADHD brains are the same is like we're always searching for what's the funnest? Like, I'm bored with that. So I don't want to do that. So when you write it down in order, and you see there's priority, and you know what your goal is like, I need to get x y, let's say in like newsletters done for the month, I need to get them done. But I don't want to tag people, I don't want to do this. But if you see the order, and you know that all these things you need need to get done. So I can get my big goal of writing the newsletter. Just sometimes like visually seeing that or for me, like I get a lot of satisfaction by like either checking something off or crossing it off. So that really helps me even when I like, I really like making last. So not necessarily like my to do list. Yeah, I write it down. And then the next day, what I don't get down, like just gets moved over to the next page, which is the most efficient. But with my ADD brain, I also give myself time during the day, like maybe 30 minutes max, where I can just like go puddle. Like if I'm in one room, I'll be like, Oh, I'm picking this up. I'm cleaning this and then I walk to the next room and my brain wants to do something else. So I actually let my brain do a little bit of that scatter stuff of like, because I hate control people like I don't like when people tell me what to do. I don't like being controlled, I could never have like a boss because I have to do things my own way. So I think if I give myself a little bit of freedom during 30 minutes, sometimes if I'm feeling crazy 45 to just kind of Potter stuff. And then at the end of that if I did productive things towards my business or even cleaning my house, because I want to feel good. I'll write it down. I'd be like put laundry away and then I crossed it off even though I like just did it wasn't on my to do list, but it was something else that I did that was productive towards my life. Because sometimes I feel like if I don't see it, or if I visually like don't cross it off, it's something like doesn't count. And maybe there's a bit of that competitiveness from an athlete that still like I don't think ever is gonna go away. So I think a good tip is if you can gamify your life or your children's life depending what like motivates them. ADHD people are often motivated by like novelty, fun. Oh, joy. Timelines are huge. So a lot of people with ADHD will procrastinate. And that's just because you're getting no no motivation to do it until you're like, oh my gosh, it's due tomorrow, and then you get like an adrenaline rush. And then they'll sit and like, Just do it. Because there's no pressure. There's no like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, pressure. So but as an

athlete, you have to do multiple things that I, I mean, I'm an athlete, myself, not elite by any means. But I'm an athlete, and I, there are things going on, I wanna do that, like cross training sounds miserable to me awful, because that's not what I enjoy doing. I can run all day, but I really don't like cross training. And yet, elite athletes do more than just the physical work of the sport that they love. How then, how do you work through that? Or how did you work through that? If you if your brains? Like, that's not super fun? I'm not really getting a kick from that.

Yeah, you just have to suck it up and do it anyway,

you were able to still pull yourself through that was it because the outcome was I am gonna die better. I this is gonna take me to the next step.

Yeah, yeah, it's a huge discipline. So the thing is, and I'm an expert in motivation, but motivation does not last. No, like at the beginning, January 1, everyone has bright motivations, right? But it doesn't last, what with life change, or health and behavior change, or like goals as an athlete, nothing's gonna happen overnight. A big thing is like being consistent. And I know for me, a huge I love learning. And like, if I'm interested, I will learn all day long. And even if this situation is not so fun, like cross training, but if I know why I'm doing that, and how that's gonna benefit, the bigger goal, whether if I was younger, and that would be like to get the scholarship or to go the Olympics or know that like, also pulling in. So ego is a really good kind of motivator. Just because of that competitiveness. Like, I wouldn't necessarily do it for myself, why would in a way, but to be like, okay, the girls that I am the women that I'm competing against, like, what are they doing in their time off? I don't want to do this right now. But like the people that I want to be like they're running, I don't want to run, but like, I need to run my cardiovascular fitness is or jump on the trampoline, because it was fun for me. Like there would always be, how can I do the same thing and being an expert in the human body? And I always tell my people this, I was like, if something doesn't feel good, there's like, a million ways to work that muscle, or like, like, what's a fun way? Or if this like hurts your knee? Let's do the same. Let's work the same muscle in a different way. And I think maybe that was part of my ADHD, why I'm a good trainer, or to be like, Okay, this isn't fun. How can we do this same kind of get the same results in a funner way, in a different way to make it like, more entertaining? Do we need to like gamify this do I need to like, make a date with my roommate? Like, she was a teammate of mine. So I could be like, Well, I'm not going to cross train by myself. But let's meet tomorrow, like 6am and I'm not I would bail on myself, but I'm not gonna bail on her, like commitment with other people or be like, what are my teammates? What are my competitors doing right now? Like, I need to be better than them. So that was motivating, in the time, when it was not motivating for me, and I don't want to do it. And there are certain things like, I love my businesses, but like, I hate invoicing, or doing any admin stuff, but I can't just not do it. Right. You know, like, there are certain things you have to be like, Okay, well, this is part of life. There's, I've heard it and I don't know who said it, so I don't want credit for it. But like, it's 5050 like, life sucks sometimes, like 50% of the time, but 50% of the time, it's actually really good. And if we didn't get the good we're not going to if we didn't get the bad we're not going to appreciate the good like if it was good all the time. I mean, that'd be great. But like that's my life we don't we don't learn we don't grow we don't like it would be a it would be great if it were nice, but you have to think like we want ideally we want more good days and bad days. Right? But we don't get to pick and like every day can't be perfect. I mean, I've had a migraine on day seven now under special one go away. That

you brought up you said you know you don't like being told what to do, which I think actually when you have an ADHD brain you've got your you've already made your mind up You already know where when, how all of that. So then somebody comes in and says, Oh, we're gonna change that up or this needs to be done. And now, there's so many things that go on inside you, like, write the brakes, and so much, it's definitely not gonna happen. No, I've already figured it out. And yet as an athlete, and I say this just watching, as a parent, with an athlete athlete, the coach says you need to do or we're doing this, or you have to show up at this time, that can be really challenging. If in your mind, you already have figured out what you're going to be doing today, or whatever it might be. How, how do you work through fighting the internal side of you going, I don't want to I would rather do this, I've already figured it out. You can't tell me how to do it. Because I already know, versus Well, actually, this person really does know what they're saying. And I really do need to follow. And, like, Coach,

I think it really depends on the relationship that coach has with you. Do you trust that person, because so I coach human beings with life change. And I would be a hypocrite if like, I didn't have a coach, you know, so I have like a marketing person, I have a marketing coach, I have a LinkedIn coach. I chose them. With my athletics. I guess I did, like I chose to go to the University of Wyoming because of the coach. And then he left. But like you get to pick and knowing that as an athlete, besides, I think now skateboarding has even changed. But skateboarding was like one of the only sports that like didn't really have a coach, but I believe now I think they all have coaches, but you know, it's just part of the culture, that to be good to be better, you can only get so far on your own. And then you have a coach, but you need to have someone that you trust, someone that you're going to believe when they tell you whatever the correction is, or why you have to do and know that they have your best interests in mind, versus just a random person. Right, you know, who might even still have your best interest in mind, like this past year. My husband and I tried to work together. And it didn't last very long. Because my business is my business. And his it was just weird. It's like a different. He was in a different role trying to tell me different things. And I appreciated what he was telling me. But I'm still like, you've never ran your own business, you've only worked for other corporate companies, like I really value opinion, your opinion, but I'm still going to do it my way. And that just won't work together, I do more. But there was a reason. And it was like, versus I just spent a ridiculous amount of money and hired my marketing coach, but because she's done exactly this multiple times, and has helped 1000 People now and she knows what the process is where, even though some of the things my husband told me exactly the same thing, and I could not listen to him. And I was like this is, you know, I have to be you have to value that person kind of put them up on a pedestal and know that they know what they're talking about and have like full trust in them. That's just challenging, because that is a different. And it's totally a different role than a parent.

Absolutely. I mean, I It's interesting to watch. I love watching children interact with their coaches. And it's fun to see as a parent, how much they put them on a pedestal, which is a beautiful thing, because I think when you have found something you're super connected to, to have somebody who can lead you in that. Yeah, it's wonderful. It's wonderful. And that can be hard for children with ADHD, because a lot of the other areas of their life is really, really messy. It's just whether it's school or relationships with friends or their their bedrooms, whatever it is, like just be able to organize your life, a lot of it's really messy. So the authority figures in those areas of life can feel really awful to them. It's just not comfortable because that area is not comfortable. But then you get into their zone of their sport or their passion, whatever that might be. And the person leading that you could do feel comfortable with and it's fun to watch that relationship grow. My son has a picture of his coach from like three years ago. Yeah, hadn't been three years ago, still in his room. And every time we rearrange his room, that picture still comes out and like it always goes it's the one picture that he insists Washington Yeah, that is it. That's the one picture it says every time we rearrange his room somewhere so you can see it. And that coach probably has no idea that he made a huge difference in my my son's life. But it's because this was an area where it was all positive even though it was like hard or he felt like that was the worst practice ever. It was all positive where he goes with school and mess or whatever. So Yeah, that's really cool to hear that from you saying that even coaches have coaches and that everybody has to have that for whatever their focus might be.

I mean, we're not put on this planet to be alone, you know, like our community helps us. And I think you're really lucky that you have a good coach for your son. Because a good coach can like make or break a human being.

Yeah, and I think too, for children with ADHD, they already feel like they're just slipping, I think there's so hard, it's so hard to try to find how to work in your own body in your own mind. And they just feel like they're hanging on to things and they might not have that adult support. That was coaching, it's, it's fun to watch that, that bond and that interaction. And, and it's always amazing to me that they can put up with a child HD because I live with them all the time. And I'm like, I can't do it anymore. And then they just they do they spend that hour or two hours, however long where they're just totally handling and holding it. And I just really appreciate that as a parent, and elite athletes. Alright, so if you had three work resources that you would encourage either parents who have children who are athletes who have ADHD, or need to focus or need to be healthier in their bodies, or parents themselves, right? Everybody grows up. So parents themselves who are needed to be healthier in their body and their mind, who may or may not be an athlete, I think if you're an athlete, that's great, but may or may not be at that point in their lives. Do you have resources that you encourage people to look up or download or listen to?

I would say, I think an amazing thing would do like a weekly I want something that's moving your body, whether it's like hiking or paddleboarding or bike riding, or something, depending on the age of your kids, but even it doesn't really matter the age of your kids, like kids are going to learn more from your actions than what you tell them. And if you're doing it as like a fun family activity, like moving your body is a good way to instill it. And a young age. I mean, the younger, the better. But just if they see you smiling, laughing, being outdoors, moving your body, maybe like commit to trying something new from now on to the end of the summer, like every either Saturday or Saturday to try a new movement, whether that's like slackline, or new biking, or what are those those paddle boats on the lake somewhere, or just trying something new and incorporating movement, I think is huge. They span past couple years, I've really been doing a lot of work on mindfulness. So I created an e book. And I think you'll link it in the show book in the show notes. So if you go to move at work challenge.com forward slash mindfulness, you can sign up for an ebook there. And there's like a little workbook. But it's a great thing that you can do as a parent to just kind of bring yourself back in the present moment. Or you can do it with your children as well. There are some exercises in there some coloring exercises, I think, I think ADD or ADHD. That was something that was very challenging for me of being in because we always are like, Go Go, go go. And we're searching for dopamine being in this moment of what's happening now because you don't get this moment back. And sometimes it's as easy as like taking a deep breath and just looking around and being like what colors do I see what shapes do I see like grounding yourself in the moment to realize like life is happening, whether we're here for it or not, because there's been a lot of parts of my life where I'm just like, go go go to the next thing like where's my next hit of dopamine is huge. So I would say the mindfulness guide to getting out and moving and then just another tip that I didn't learn about until recently. We had dopamine crashes. So if there's something really big that happens in your child's life, or for me, my most recent thing would be I had family come into town earlier in May, and then I got my PhD which was like who and then after that is crashed for about three or four days like just racked. When you get so much something like super exciting for one of your for your son it might be something like a huge tournament. No that's that is a chemical in the brain and it could like comes overflowing in with every Hi there. is a definite crash. I sometimes often it would be a crash like that, or I would fall into depression. But I didn't know. Probably within the last year is something that had it happened to me a few times. And I was like, Oh, this is what it is this is what now make sense is that if there is something really exciting, or something you're looking forward to wedding would be a good example, like the day after, when they say you get like postpartum stuff. But with ADHD, when you get a huge rush of dopamine, there is a crash that comes along with that. And sometimes the crash is not so happy. So know that. That's a natural thing. It doesn't last forever, moving your body, like the next day, going for a 20 minute walk or getting movement in is a great thing. There are also certain foods that can help with dopamine, if you google them, I take a lot of proteins and not see it's things like that. But yeah, there's a crash. So,

so good to know, because I don't think people even think about that, then they just get frustrated. Oh, what's going on? Everything was so good. Literally 24 hour

like, Yeah, yesterday, you were like, high as a kite. And now you're it is it is a brain chemical. So to know that gas

can almost time kind of plan for it. And know that like the week after, it's going to be a little bit challenging. Once everything is done, and life becomes slow. It's like normal, whatever that might be, you just know that that's gonna happen. Yeah. And then the body is probably craving this rest period. That's kind of how the body probably goes, I just need to stop for a little bit too. You've been giving me so much. So much. Now I need this downtime. So those are all such good tips. And that is great that so that's downloadable. You're the is it a daily task? Is it weekly? Can you share a little bit more about

what the mindfulness guide are? Yeah, I think it's like 12 or 13 pages, so you can print it out. Okay, um, there, it's, it will basically explain like the what and how. And then I think there's like four different exercises that you can actually write, write in. And it's a good reflection to be where are you at be where you are at? Yeah, because this is the only moment that you don't get back. I mean, you don't get any of the moments back. Or when you're here right now, like if it's in the past, the past is in the future. But sometimes, grounding yourself can really be a benefit. And if you can teach your kids to do that at an early age, there's a lot of social emotional learning that I think kids are learning now, which is great, which was around when I was a kid, but just like, take some deep breaths. And I think, along with ADHD often comes other mental things like anxiety and whatnot. And it can get overwhelming real quick. But if you can come back to yourself, and you always have your breath, and you always have your body and to be able to know that like this, and I'm pointing in my head. Now, I know this is a podcast, but like, this is the only thing you can control on the whole planet. And it's like a muscle, so you definitely have to train it. But once you know how it works, then you have more tools to live a happier and healthier life. So yeah, so baby steps.

So cool. Yeah, I love it. Okay, well, I'm gonna download it. That sounds fun. I love that. And I like what you're doing with your kids. And leading by example, if you do it, and then your children do this, you're already one step ahead of the game. How do people get a hold of you? If they feel like this? Is somebody speaking to them and they want to learn more about you and get support from you? How do people find you?

Um, my website is performances happenin.com. And then on Instagram, I am Dr. Underscore Psara underscore happening. And I think on Facebook, I'm just sorry, happening. Yeah, if you Google my name, I'm the only person out there with my name. So far.

So fun. All right. Well, thank you so much for joining me today and sharing all of this. This is wonderful. That's exactly what I wanted to speak about. Thank you.

You're welcome. My pleasure. Move whenever you can. That's my take home message.