Healing From Connection with Merel Kriegsman

trigger warning, the Resilience Project provides an open space for people to share their personal experiences. Some content in this podcast may include topics that you may find difficult, the listeners discretion is advised.

Hello friends, welcome to radical resilience, a weekly show where I Blair Kaplan Venables have inspirational conversations with people who have survived life's most challenging times We all have the ability to be resilient and bounce forward from a difficult experience. And these conversations prove just that, get ready to dive into these life changing moments while strengthening your resilience muscle and getting raw and real.

Welcome back to another episode of radical resilience. It's me, Blair Kaplan Venables, and I'm here with someone that funny enough lives a couple provinces away, but I met her all the way in Miami. And it just shows you like the world is not so small after I mean, I guess it's small, not so big. after all. It's a small world. And I am so honored that Merrill is here today. So Merel Kriegsman. She's a business mentor, and women's wealth advocate, is dedicated to helping you create millions on your terms and become the wealthiest woman in your lineage. I need your help. But she's helped 1000s of women break their generational patterns of scarcity, resulting in stratospheric income leaps, and seven figures success for many, she's been in Forbes Fast Company, entrepreneur and more and she has such a fascinating story. And when I asked her, you know, Merel, like, can you explain one sentence like how you are resilient, and she just said all the things. So without further ado, I want to welcome my sparkly friend. That I know right from another mister. Like, I'd like it feels like I've known you honestly, Merel feels like I've known you forever, but it's only been a few months.

Well, maybe it's because we're both we both like to overshare. Yeah. Faster.

Yeah. So welcome. Welcome to the podcast, Merel

I'm so glad to be here. I just love being in the same room as you. However, that happen. Yeah,

we got to meet in the middle like you're in Saskatchewan. I'm in BC. Let's meet in Alberta.

We want to go to Alberta though.

I don't know. Go back to Miami. That was nice and more, just

come and visit you and BC that sounds sounds like a really good plan to Yeah, I

love it. And what I love about you is like I didn't read your full bio, and it's gonna go into the show notes. But what I love is how it ends is spot this former opera singer in the wild reading erotic novels, or having fun with her kids on her organic farm wearing a 1920s lace dress and rubber boots. And to me, this is like a complete package of who you are, like all the different, very exotic and fun aspects of you. And I Yeah, and I want to like you're not from Saskatchewan. Like you're like, let's like, let's talk about your story. Let's talk about some times you had to be resilient. Like you know, I'll pass the mic to you.

Yeah, sounds good. So no, I'm not from Saskatchewan. I'm a, I'm a transplant. I am from Holland originally, that was where I was born and raised to a family of artists and mediums and astrologers, and people who you know, chose to eat organic in the 70s instead of the 2000 and 10s. You know, so it was just an interesting, an interesting family to be born into. And my my youth basically consisted out of my parents renovating these, these old buildings while we lived in them, and then moving when it was done, and then starting all over again, though, is sort of like their MO. And so when I smell fresh paints, or freshly poured concrete, or you know, just smell and feel in your nose, like sawdust, that's home to me, like all these memories, and you're like, oh shit, this is connected to like, the smell of chemicals. Wait a second. Oh my gosh. So you know, and it was amazing. Like just being being witness to how they transformed these spaces and made them absolutely stunning and restore them back to you know, their former glory. Like 90 100 Laurie, it was just it was it was really interesting childhood. I'm just second born of four kids. Yeah, and you know, I think resilience for me started pretty early on because my parents are both for very different reasons. very traumatized people. You know, just like legit you went through a really hard time like my my, my grandfather on my my Dad sigh died when my dad was 13. And now he heard his mom scream, like a gut wrenching scream downstairs and he ran downstairs and you found her as a 13 year old boy, just sitting and sobbing on the kitchen floor next to the, you know, the telephone and yeah, yeah, his dad passed on suit out, you know, unexpectedly and sort of like a routine surgery. And my mom comes very formal from broken home as well. And you know, that impacts you in all kinds of ways, right? It's, it's, they want us to be cycle breakers so hard, but I think sometimes it takes a few generations of cycle breakers to actually break the cycle, or heal the cycle. Maybe it's both healing the cycle and sort of breaking the cycle. So I don't know why exactly. But in hindsight, I can truly say I was raised like a 19th century, like novel, heroine, they can paint murals, and sing opera and ride a horse and embroider to cushions and carry on sophisticated conversation in multiple languages. So that's sort of like how it ended up being, which is really interesting experience, you know, living in this modern world.

Oh my gosh, right. That's why you stand out. Like, you're phenomenal. You're very diverse.

It's very, it's very interesting. But you know, like, we all grew up being kids with some special needs, you know, we we were always going through like psychosis, or, you know, I was in therapy by the time I was eight for obsessive compulsive thinking and depression at eight.

Well, that your parents like I, I didn't my my teachers called My mum in to school, and I was probably eight or nine. And they are like, we think Blair's depressed because I was writing depressing stuff. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. My mom was like, No, she's fine. She's always smiling. And I didn't get therapy till my adult life to lie to myself. So like, Yeah, that's amazing that your parents did that. I

know. They are amazing. They truly are. I love them so much. Like they they really make the most, most of like everything, you know, despite some of their own, like, internal struggles and traumas and gave us a really beautiful childhood. But you know, it was sort of like riddled with mental health issues. And addiction, and, you know, my siblings struggling in school and then dropping out of school, I'm a high school dropout, I dropped out because I, I had started to starve myself at that point, despite all the therapy, by the way, you know, just was sort of like a, a train wreck that just needed to happen or something I like I was in therapy, all the way up to, you know, my dad likes to joke he always says, like, well joke, sort of, like, Haha, very tragic that I became therapy resistance. So I was in therapy, but I, I was at that point, I was so clever. I could fool my therapists into believing I was doing just just peachy. I was just fine. You know, I know, as struggling with anorexia, and then in the background, and I remember my father yelling at the therapists like just saying, you know, why didn't you see it? Like, why were you so blind? You know, and she was just, I don't know. So we went through that almost died came out the other end, having dropped out of school at that point, as well as 15 At that time, and and I remember, you know, the moment I decided to live was when they showed me on like a chalkboard, they literally said, like, this is what your heart is doing. And this is how your kidneys are doing. And this is what your teeth are doing. And this is you have about a six week window before your heart muscle will actually start to deteriorate your acute kidney failure was like oh shit. No, I think I'm gonna hate to sandwich like on the way home, like, I'll have the sandwich. That was the turning point. And then I remember to like I always really wanted to mom. And, and I was still like, 20 kilos, underweight or something. I was like, I'm like six feet tall, right? If you've met me, I'm like, really tall person. And I weighed like, nothing. And I still got my period back. The moment I decided to live, my body was just like, Okay, we're on board with this baby. You're gonna get your period back. And it happened when I was like walking with the dog. I was just like, choosing healing. I was in the forest. I was like, feeling spring and everything coming to life. And they came home and I got my period. And I felt like this huge, just like affirmation of life. Yeah,

I love that. I mean, what a struggle I can't imagine And, you know, I want to back up you said, you know, you came out the other side, like you dropped out of school and came out the other side. We'll dive into that a bit more. Because you know, if any of our listeners are know someone who is, you know, battling anorexia,

well, so many people have daughters like that are struggling with food disorders. I know multiple of them. You know, and I want people to know, if they're listening, and if they do have a child that is struggling, feel free to DM me, you know, Instagram, let's just connect.

Yeah. How do how, like, I know you said on the chalkboard, there was those diagrams of like, this is what's going to happen to you in six weeks, if you don't stop was that besides that? Did something get you to sitting in that room to looking at that chalkboard? Like what led up? Yeah, yeah.

I mean, what my parents did is they put me in it was like an out would you call it an outbound clinic were so a stay at home. But then I would come in for therapy days, basically, where they would weigh me and, you know, sort of like, just just show me what was happening. And, you know, be in therapy and be in group therapy. And, and I didn't want to take any meds, I was like, vehemently against taking medication, which they wanted me they wanted me to get on meds, but my brother who'd had a psychosis only few years prior, he had taken, he had gotten like, you know, quite like heavy meds, and I just, I was pretty traumatized by sort of losing my older sibling, you know, like, not being able to connect with him. So I was I was, you know, set on getting getting through it without medication, which they respected. What got me to the point? I mean, for me, what was always layered in was just a shame around my queerness. I think at that point, you know, that that had been sort of a clear feeling of, okay, here we are, this is what's so paired with, like, all kinds of layers of other things, right. It's like, perfect, perfect storm sort of things. And I remember just sitting sitting there going, because it had really been around like, I don't want to live like this. You know, this is who I am. And then I just I just don't, I can't picture what that would be like. And I think at that point, you know, sex ad was still extremely homophobic.

The 90s, right.

It's the 2000s Yeah, I was m from from 89. Oh,

in my head, I'm like, we're 80s Babies was the 90s. But like, wherewe are, I mean, I haven't ADHD. Yeah. So the tooth out early 2000s. Yeah, things were very different. Like, you know, when we were that age, yeah. We, you know, people weren't coming out with their true identities or sexualities, and a lot of stuff.

No, and for example, like I'm a I'm a high femme queer, right, what they call Hi femme queer. So I'm like, extremely feminine. I'm literally like, you won't you don't see this because we're not on camera. But I have like this hair that's like, kilometers long. And I'm wearing lipstick and right and, and I had this image in my head of, if I want to write also love women, then I have to buy a leather jacket, cut off my hair, and talk like this. Right? It was just like, it didn't compute, like I couldn't like it was it was literally like identity dysmorphia. Right at that point. You know, and, and, and so, as I was, was growing incident identity, right, and to become a woman. It's just like, I didn't, I didn't, I couldn't picture it, it couldn't see myself, I couldn't see I didn't have an example of what that would be like, you know, and it scared me. And I also think just paired with fear, fear of my own power. You know, I was I was I noticed that I was getting very powerful. And I think I didn't know what to do with that either. But to go back to your question. I think that's like, literally the moment where I was like, You know what, like, even if I'm queer, I'm just, I'll figure it out because I don't want to die. You know, I was literally being faced with with death. And having sort of like, yeah, like feeling like, Okay, now I'm really flirting with, you know, my own mortality came over, let's just like, okay, that's not

Do you, thank you for sharing and like, you know, you got to that point where it's either life or death, reflecting on that experience, you know, not feeling I guess, fully comfortable because you didn't have the external like reflection of how you felt on the inside and, you know, being so close to potentially dying with You know, from anorexia, what do you wish? Someone did sooner now that you are where you are in life? What do you like? What would have been helpful earlier on for you?

You know what, like, it's it's almost like a Kismet kind of feeling that, you know, I was actually meant to have some of those experiences. So it's like I don't I struggle to sort of find a, this would have been better or this would have been more helpful. We can talk about what is helpful for sure. But for like, what's really interesting is that he actually, this person died in June, we had a lot of loss in our family, and, you know, close family friends this year, but the the physician who had been my grandma's physician, my mom's physician, my physician, also like mental health, you know, a person that we we went to, and then he also met my daughter. So for four generations within the same female lives are special. But he said to my mom, when I was six, don't put her into ballet classes because I want to I wanted to do ballet. I said, Don't do it. She if she if she goes into that she'll develop a food disorder. So at age six, he already saw the, the basically like the Yeah, like the personality traits of something, right, that that would turn into. Yeah, like stuff, self destructive, hyper, perfectionist, sort of behavior. I am eternally grateful for the experience because I have unshakable right self love and confidence as the foundation that I was able to build the rest of my life on my adult life on, right where so many people are still figuring things out and who they are, like, I already had a pretty solid sense of race, like I was building on really solid ground. And I think that's, that's why I was able to, you know, end up at age 30. You know, being a self made millionaire, having three kids and being moved across the globe having, you know, really successful loving marriage. things because I was just lucky. It's like, because I, I learned so much about myself and my strengths and my weaknesses and how to navigate them and write and how to be resilient. Yeah,

yeah, I think that's so important. Because what I like to talk about is like turning my pain into purpose, which is why this community exists. And that you went through some you we've gone through a lot, but you went through this one specific thing. And it was, you know, your rock bottom became your foundation. Yes, yeah. And look at you now. Right, and she just said it. Like she became a self made millionaire and moved across the world. And I think that on its own is there, those those are their own stories. So let's talk about you know, you climbing back up from that rock bottom, you growing from those, you know, cracks in the foundation to where you are now. Yeah. What has it been like to, you know, in all the aspects of your life, stand in your power become more powerful and fully love yourself and every aspect of your life, your marriage, your sexuality, your business and beyond?

Yeah, I think that what I created is a heightened sense of, of the things that sort of threatened my integrity. Right. And by Integrity, I mean, wholeness, right, being being being integral, when I when I, when I talk about not being in integrity, I always picture like a wounded animal. Right, or, or an animal that has, like, part of its fur torn off and because of that, it can get wet and because it gets wet to get sick and right, sort of like in the literal sense, it's sort of, like primal sense of that word. I feel very keenly when when something is starting to like, you know, distract me or or sort of do that thing in the background where it's like, just, you know, like rotting rots. Yeah. Right. And I just have a zero tolerance policy toward towards it, right. So the, there's just an unwillingness to settle and unwillingness to tolerate an unwillingness to to allow myself to be be compromised, if you will. That makes me very strong. That makes me you know, when things are hard, I have a lot of energy, right to move through things because I'm not bleeding edge and if that I was in directions, which is what so many people do. i And they, they, they sort of, let's say that something happens that creates sort of like a wound, right, like a wound thing. But they're already almost bled dry, you know what I mean? And it's like, it's just that last straw that then creates, you know, them needing a really long period of time to heal, or whatever it is, right, or the inability to bounce back. And, and so it's really a daily practice of, like, where, where do I notice myself sort of being untrue to myself, or where I feel like, well, it's, you know, it's okay, or whatever it is, in regards to who I work with, how I work with them, when I work, how I raise our, you know, our children, and my contribution to that and how I don't contribute, and you know, some ways and then supplement that with somebody else, and maybe can offer them those things and to how we run our household. I know, for example, that I don't do well with with clutter makes me feel like shit. So I have a zero tolerance policy, which by the way, doesn't work with our three kids. So you know, we

didn't do we had a chat, you said you had a room that you were building for the kids. Tell us about that. Right? Remember?

Yeah, the the jungle gym. So like, literally, I can, I can look around the corner here. And there's like this massive structure that is an indoor jungle jam with like, slides and everything for the kids that they have placed to run without completely tearing down the rest of the house. And, you know, sort of leaving a trail of destruction in their way. It's just like, it was a really nice idea, in reality doesn't quite work, which I got really frustrated with a couple of days ago. Because now they're playing on the jungle gym, and they are still, you know, still making a mess. They're still like, yeah, it's like beyond maths, but you know, it's okay. Because I'll be resilient, you know, I have resilience there to pull back on and helped me through it.

Do you? So you have three kids. And you know, you had this really, I guess I'd say different, like very different than, I guess probably the rest of a lot of society upbringing. And now you're raising your kids on this farm in Saskatchewan. You know, and you're you, you know, you're such a beautiful free spirit. Do you think like, what do you think is the lesson that you're teaching your kids with your resilience and what you've gone through?

Mm hmm. Well, what I'm teaching them is that they have both have creative side and a destructive side. And they're actually to, you know, they're two sides of one coin. And we have to celebrate both those sides. Right? So it's not like, Oh, we're just going to celebrate when you when you are creative, and you're making beautiful things for Mama, we're also going to celebrate your anger and your fierceness and your strength in your art. Right that so? The I mean, it's hilarious, right? Because they go to this, this homeschool, sort of like situation. And she's Christian. And then these three kids, they, they swear like, filthy sailors, like your kids. Yeah, it was like, a problem isn't like it's showed up on the, you know, the education units. Oops. Like, oops, but you know, I love it when I hear my kids just fully expressing their right. Right, because it's the right, and they're your connection to that. Right, that is going to give you the strength and the fortitude to face hardship in your life. And so we celebrate both. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I would say. I mean, yes, great. They're growing up, similar to me in the sense that, you know, they're reciting poetry and singing opera and yeah, you know, but it's just how

farming in Saskatchewan

you're growing their own food, you know, which is beautiful. So they're very connected to, you know, Mother Earth. And that's something that I really wanted for our children that we both wanted for our kids. But you know, I run a flower garden together with my daughters and they love it, they were already talking about what seeds we're gonna get and they're just gonna, you know, be with their hands in the dirt and actually work up the you know, like the earth and putting you know, nutrients in and really taking care of it and then they go, they go pick flowers and make beautiful bouquets. And I think that's a beautiful description. Right? It's not just about buying nice flowers and putting them in a vase with your kids know, you grow those things you go grow you go work hard to actually you know, and explore like, okay, it has roots Do you have roots? I think you do. Right? And

it's like taking the word like getting grounded to a whole new level, like literally becoming only, you know, becoming one with nature. I think that's, that's so fascinating. And you know, I love like, you know, because we only just met in November and like following what you're doing on social media, I think it's really fascinating and I, your kids are very lucky to grow up with that space because there isn't lots of that space. Like a lot of kids grow up in apartments or condos or like concrete jungles and urban centers. And they might have a little patch of grass or they you know, have a park to go to, or they're not near the trails, like, you know, I'm in the mountains. I know, I'm very lucky. I hope so envious.

Like, that sounds like a dream,

come on visit. But like we I was raised in Winnipeg in like the concrete jungle yard. It wasn't very big. We didn't really garden because I had a single mom who worked really hard. And, you know, as I got older, she planted a raspberry bush and did some gardening but like, you know, like, I was always so jealous. Like, I go to my grandpa at my grandparents house, and they had this huge garden. And like my friends who would garden with their parents, like, I love that. And I thought it was so cool. Now as an adult, I have the space. And I even have a garden. And I'm actually we got I'm going to be pulling the garden out and putting a pool in. But because I traveled so much that I can't maintain it. Ah, yeah. But I think like as a kid, like, How special is that? Right, that they get to do that. And I think that's really beautiful. Because, you know, these are three humans that you're putting, you know, you're raising to do certain things to take forth these lessons and bring them into the world. So thank you for that, because that's awesome. They sound like really phenomenal children

are they're just the forces of nature is what they are, you know, and I think I think you when when kids thrive, they generally are, right. They're just so incredibly powerful. I mean, you know, our oldest daughter loves dragons. She calls herself the dragon daughter. And, you know, when I asked her like, what are the three things that you love in the world? It's like dragons romance and violence is what she said. And, and my middle daughter, she's been saying for the last two years that she has a werewolf inside of her. That's how she introduces herself. Like when there's a new person in her life. She is she like, she's total extrovert, and she like goes off to them says, I that's awareables inside of me, that's, you know how she is. And I think it's beautiful. And I think she does have a werewolf inside of her. You know, so I told her. I love

that. I mean, like, Wait, what was she like on full moons?

Oh, yeah. When she sees the moon, right? She house and then her little sibling like, how's it long? And her little sibling ISA is? says she's a kitty cat werewolf? No, you know, like I'm aware of, but I'm also a kitty cats. Yeah. And it's like kids are just so utterly delicious, you know, in their,

and their imagination, right? Like, their imagination is part of resilience. Like, I like to talk about how there's so many things, you there's things you can do to strengthen your resilience, muscle. And having that imagination is such an important thing, to not just have as a kid, but to carry through your life. Because look at us, as entrepreneurs, our imagination has built, you know, I've built this community from my imagination. You know, you've built a seven figure business and you've helped 1000s of women with your imagination and it's it I think imagination correlates to power and so

yeah, exactly. I love that. And you know, I had a like rough year in a sense that I you know, I was I was mentored by a few people who told me to build a really big team and that that was the only way to grow so like I was okay you know enough people have said literally this is the way to go so I built the whole team absolutely hated it had to basically dismantle what you know it was a it was a bomb about to be triggered with all kinds of like, you know, inter human messes and expectations and disappointments and and I you know, well I'm honestly I decided to take the fall off but really Keith, my husband correct me by the scruff corner Timeout. Timeout baby, like, and I was like, Oh, actually, we have like two years worth of expenses paid for like back in the corner. Go rest go, go just lay fallow which was like the ultimate luxury by the way to like be able to have right and anyone who's like Well, that sounds really amazing. I wish I had that. The reason we have that because you know, we were poor as church mice when we landed here in Canada. The reason why I could actually afford the luxury of taking time off to heal my from the experience and that's just the sheer stress of it all. Oh my god, you know, and find my creative center again. Be honest, because we've always taken exquisitely like good care of our finances. Maybe we can just line up some resources in the show notes

for yes. And I selfishly I would like those two because one of my weakest points is my finances. I'm really good at managing money. Yeah, I'm really good at making money. And I'm really good at spending money really good to spending money. And it's all the stuff in between, and I have this money trauma. So like in it, that's a whole nother conversation about like my Oh, and a lot of money. But my dad developed an addiction and sold the business and he was a diamond dealer. And then my mom was a single mom giving us this life of like private school. And so I have this money trauma from the stuff that I saw growing up, and like how it was in my household, so selfishly, yes, please share those resources. I'm like, Man, I'm gonna hire you Merel. Like, let's work together.

No, seriously, no, because some of our clients work with Keith as well. And yesterday, we had a client, she had a really rough year, I think 2022 like such a rough year for like so many people in their personal lives. It's just like wild. You know, her son really got bullied. And you know, it's just a horrific experience, and it impacted her business. And then we work together relentlessly on messaging, which I'm sure you'll appreciate, like the importance of that and, and all of a sudden, she started like closing all these clients. Yeah. 25k on it, like two weeks sales cycle. And you know, she's over the moon. But she literally said, like, the reason she's doing so well, it's also because she had a meeting with Keith, and she finally sat down with her finances got intimate with her numbers. And actually, you right, learn to understand like, Well, my kid is about to go to college. Next month, so you know, I have to, right? And then and then sort of like that sets the stage. So yes, so important, right? It's, it's, it's, it's really, it should be part of your resilience practice. Yeah, to to create financial security for yourself, so that when you're laying there, wounded, and crying, and completely torn down, that you can actually take a break, catch your breath. Yeah. And I just feel into your feelings. Yes,

this is so important, because with what I went through with the miscarriage, and three weeks later, losing my father in law, three months later, losing my mom, and then losing my dad, not even a year later, being an entrepreneur, I didn't have that cushion. And so I push through, in fact, you're witnessing me still pushing through. And I was in survival mode. And I did come into some money, and I put a lot of it into my business, which is why I'm on a billboard in Times Square. And I'm going to be featured on an Amazon show. Like, I'm really grateful for what I've done with that, you know, I've invested in myself and whatnot. But what you're saying about having that two year cushion, yes. Like, I think this is so important, and it is a part of resilience. So I think this is a whole nother conversation. So we'll probably have to come back. But I mean, there's so many things here. So I wanted to two final things. One, how can people find you if they want to get into your world? The world of Merel?

Yeah. So we'll make sure that my Instagram is in the shownotes. Come talk to me on Instagram. That's where I love to hang out. You can join my Facebook group. And you know, just just DM me on Instagram, I'll send you the link that you set up right now. It's called wealth on your terms. I might change the name of the Facebook group I, I do I do. Like I can't, I can't love it stagnant. And, and also I have I have a podcast where I just, it's literally like the diary of a millionaire matriarch. That's how I see myself I see myself as a female leader who's, you know, taking it upon herself to, to really set the stage for all the females around me to also you know, see what's possible. And, you know, and lead. It's my diary. I'm just literally sharing what I do, what works, what doesn't, the complete flops, the disappointments, the victories and how I make them happen. So, come Come check out my diary. We'll put the link in the show notes with a promo code and then you can literally start binging hundreds of episodes, just like five minutes shares. Yes, dollar nuggets.

I'm into it. I want a million dollar nugget. That sounds like digging for gold digger digging for some nugget. I love it, Merel. Okay, so one final question for now because I feel like I need to have you back for all the things. What is a piece of advice? I mean, we talked about a lot of different things, but what's resonating with you? I would love for you to share a piece of advice for someone who's going through something that you went through, whether it's the you know, anorexia or anything that you know, anything that you've done that's really resonating with you from this conversation advice from you a wise matriarch?

Yes, so I have always found that the healing comes from connection, right like a person that then connects you with another person or a person that knows a person who can connect you with a resource or right it's so a easy when you're struggling to isolate yourself, right, I had postpartum depression in 2022 or 2020. Well, and then it created, you know, insomnia, chronic insomnia, I couldn't sleep which by the way, like racked my brain I got, you know, passive suicidal ideation, all kinds of things. And in the end, what healed me it was just connecting with people being around people, telling people my story, having them tell me their stories of their hardships, and being able to just be held by them, buy the people that love me and that I love. And then what I would add to that is that you don't want to just make that reliance on a few relationships or one community, you want to diversify your love streams the same way that you want to diversify your income streams, you want to diversify your, your love stream, so that there's like, just all this love flowing to you from all kinds of directions, whether it's like local community or community connected to maybe causes that you care about, or people that have had similar life experiences, but like a good mix of things you want to like mix it up, you're gonna want a good sort of like salad mix, you know, different different things so that you get all your vitamins, right, and you've cared people and you need some paprika, people and soup, like everything that you need. And then just keep exposing yourself to conversations to ideas to write without the expectation that it's right away, going to click and you're going to heal and you're going to get up and you're going to run again, it's like now just so kid up for a while, just soak it all up. So you feel yourself again,

I love that put yourself in a timeout, just like Keith did to you. Totally, you know, Ty you need time, you need time, and I love that advice. Oh my gosh, you're such a treat. So you know her links are in the show notes, dive into her world. She's like a very cool human, I promise. And I just want to thank you so much for taking the time to jam with me about all things Merel, all the things resilience. And to all you listeners out there, thank you for letting us into your ears, your life, your soul, your heart. Remember, it is okay to not be okay, we've created this safe space for you to read, share and listen to stories of resilience. Applications are now open if you want to share your story in the second global Resilience Project book. There's a link in the show notes if you feel compelled, if your story is something you are ready to share that has something that can help other people navigate their challenges. I invite you to be part of our community to share your story in our next book that will be coming out in later 2023 And just remember, it is okay to not be okay. You don't have to walk this challenge alone. You are resilient.