One Lap Around the Sun with Alana Kaplan

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Hello friends, welcome to radical resilience, a weekly show where I Blair Kaplan Venables have inspirational conversations with people who have survived life's most challenging times. We all have the ability to be resilient and bounce forward from a difficult experience. And these conversations prove just that, get ready to dive into these life changing moments while strengthening your resilience muscle and getting raw and real. Welcome back to another episode of radical resilience.

It's me, Blair Kaplan Venables, and I'm here with my one and only sister-reno. Alana Kaplan. So we started this thing called the grief gals. It's kind of when we get together and talk about grief. I guess it's like, a series within this podcast. And today, Alana and I are gonna celebrate you. We're going to celebrate you listening to us for one full year, because on January 17 2022, which would have been our mother's 63rd birthday, we launched radical resilience in honor of her. So it's officially been our one year. We've been around for one year, I was gonna say one year anniversary, but I don't know anniversary feels weird. But we're here. We're here to celebrate. And I am just so excited that Alanna agreed to record this episode with us, with me with you, because I've just got back from traveling and my travel days seem to be very long. And this is a session that we are recording in the evening, which is something that we don't usually do. And Alana is a couple hours ahead of me. So this is just a little bit of a before bed session just for you, our listeners. Hi, Alana.

Hi. Happy to be here. When Blair asked me to record I just want to preface saying I have tried FaceTiming her 20 minutes ago. And she told me she didn't want to talk. So when she asked me to record I was like, Oh, my gosh, is I'm gonna get to talk to Blair Of course. Oh, it wasn't to all of you. I was napping. But now No. Okay. Fair. So yeah, I'm excited to be here one year, I would say it is an anniversary. Okay. Happy anniversary.

Happy anniversary. Alana.

Anniversary Blair and listeners.

So it's interesting. So January 17, or anniversary, or mom's birthday. I what I realized is I actually like on days that are sad. I'm adding in like happy moments. So the day itself isn't so sad. So our dad's birthday was November 13. And that's the day I bought my cat. That's the day I decided to buy Frey my mother's namesake. And yesterday I when we you know, we're recording this on the 18th on the 17th actually woke up two and a half hours outside of Cabo and I woke up to watch the sunrise. And it was really beautiful when I was with friends and I purposely planned a day of travel, to be distracted to come back home. But really, I was just with my own thoughts all day. But you know, I've said it before and I'll say it again Alanna. It's so much better to be warm and sad. Thing cold and sad.

Well, good thing we have briefly coming up where we can be warm and sad and happy and all feelings. Yeah, you know,

actually Okay, so I was just at this this meeting of the minds I don't know how to explain it but I'm a part of this organization called Baby bathwater Institute, entrepreneurs influencers investors, just like all around really cool people we meet in different like capacities, like maybe it's a river trip where we go rafting, maybe it's hoedown in Texas, maybe it's in Cabo. There's adventures around the world where there's lots of peer to peer learning and networking and I was actually sitting sharing my story with two people one person is new and one I recently met and the conversations I had were really amazing around like grief and like situations and every conversation was just so different. And I was sharing about grief week I was like, it's like spring break for sad people like briefly like and this year is Palm Springs and in between the sad days of February 18 And February 23 We're going to Disney and it's my childhood dream to go and meet Cinderella. Anyways, I actually had a couple people tell me that we should actually make grief week a thing and maybe it's a conference we do where we basically just bring people together and I don't know how this would look but i don't know i have ideas percolating about like grief weekend making it out. actually like a thing like not a conference, but a gathering place, like maybe there's a panel on like, a panel on things to do with preparing for your, you know, parents to die or a panel, you know, and just conversations. And I think with what we're doing with the global Resilience Project, it just provides an alternative place for us to create conversations and a safe space. So I just want to put that out there that I don't know if this is just might stay between me and Atlanta, or it might evolve into something. And that's what this project is all about. creating, creating what people want, creating what we want, and what we think people need. Alana has her hand up just so you know, Alana and I are trying this thing where we don't talk over each other. And so now when Alana wants to talk, instead of interrupting me, she just puts her hand up. So it's really funny.

Thank you. I feel like I get to talk to the class. Now. What I wanted to say is, well, there's not a grief, we per se, there are many camps around the world well around Canada and the states for kids who have lost a parent or someone close to them. And I can't remember what the American version is called. But the Canadian one is called Camp Aaron. And it's just like a two day camp. So maybe your friends or maybe we and your friends are all onto something. And yeah, you know, and I wanted to share,

you know, what I think is really great, because I've I've talked about this before, and I've mentioned in social media, and I think I've mentioned it on here. So this podcast originally started off, like with me being the main house. So if you look at the cover art right now, it's me. But Alana, I are gonna be doing a photo shoot in Palm Springs. And I'd like we're gonna switch out the cover because she is more involved in this. And I like her being involved in this too. But so this podcast, we are in different parts of the country, we've never really recorded it together in person. And there's this Jewish learning weekend that happens, I think around the world for sure, Canada. And in Winnipeg, it's called Lee mood. And I said, Hey, Alana, we should record one of these episodes together live in front of an audience, like it won't air live, but we'll record it live. And we pitched it and they they're like, Yeah, that's a really cool idea. So we're doing our very first recorded episode of radical resilience in front of an audience together in in March, and they'll probably air either end of March, beginning of, you know, April, and Elena's hands up again, and I'm just telling you this because she's very excited. But if this works out, we're gonna take this on the road. And so maybe we do something with grief week where we do live recordings. And we have panels and, you know, we provide these resources. If you're listening and you think this is a good idea, like, tell me like, if you think this is a bad idea, tell me I don't I don't know what I'm doing. I mean, does anyone know what they're doing? Like, I'm just a human having an experience that involves a lot of grief. And I want to be of service and turning my pain into purpose. But, you know, I think the next year of this podcast is going to be very interesting because, you know, we have many guests raring to go, we're about to you know, open up applications for our book, I'm going to be on a TV show of sharing about the community so who knows where this is gonna go. Alana has been very patient

and being so patient right now I'm so proud of myself. I'm not that patient. A lot of the time. Anyways, what I wanted to share is where I meant to tell you this when I'm telling you this in front of a recording I was looking at the year it's I dates and because the Jewish calendar is a bit weird. So our dad and the Gregorian I don't know we

hold on shall we maybe stop and explain for all those out there who don't know what yahrzeit is? yahrzeit is what it is. Love to yahrzeit is a high level definition is that the Jewish anniversary of the the Jewish like date of a passing our day started at sundown Jewish day started at sundown, so sundown to sundown and the days don't always line up with the like calendar that we follow there. And Alana is now going to continue explaining.

Yeah. So I was looking at her parents and so because in the Jewish calendar, there are a Hebrew calendar. There's like a leap month. So sometimes it gets a little funny. And I guess something must have happened. That I don't know about but so our dad technically died February 18. Normal on February 23. But anyways, was looking at the dates. And our mom's here at sites early March but Dad you're at site, which is his first Last year, it's I think is like March 11. But I don't know if that means March 10 to 11th or 11th to 12. Either way, it is the weekend of the mood, which is our first recording and it's a time Blair and I will be together. And we were together for our mom's here at site in a different fashion last year. But it's nice that we're going to be together and on this as this marker. Yeah,

I think that's really beautiful. And like, at least we know, during this year at site are one of our parents isn't going to become like almost dead because that's what happened with our mother's your insight, like we were, we weren't going to be together. And we you know, last year, at the end of the month, at the end of January, we got called in I got called into Winnipeg and that's that's a whole other dramatic story. And we were supposed to go to Palm Springs to be together over the anniversary of our mother passing but now I was in Winnipeg with our dad and holding his hand while he like slowly left his body. And we got the call like where they call the family and like the the call you get when it's like get everyone into say goodbye. And we had this whole beautiful Shabbat dinner family dinner plan with my uncle my and my cousins to celebrate, to celebrate our mother on her yahrzeit. But that was the day our dad took a decline. So we didn't get to give her mom the attention that she deserved. Because well, that was just kind of like our father was never it was only about him. But anyways, I just I think it's gonna be that's amazing that you found that out Alana and it's great that we're gonna be together because a where the heck do you buy yahrzeit candles in Kamloops. I think about like a massive box of them. But I don't know where they are. But that also that I'm coming from from Nashville from filming. And it's going to be great, because I'll either be there like, I'll be there on the 10th. So the 10th to the 11th 11th to the 12 we had to actually be together. And the fact that it is Lee mood. This is a perfect way that we're going to start that episode about honoring the yurts site. And I think that's such a beautiful like say like serendipitous coincidence, and a really great way to honor her father.

Sorry, I was raising my hand. And because I was raising my hand, it took me a moment to unmute myself. And in that quick second, I forgot what I was going to say. But it is it's, we always fight each other, or the world finds. Like I feel like we're always together on important days. Whether we plan it or we don't plan it. This is a little off a little off kilter. What I'm about to say is we've been together for the past like few Valentine's Days, and and this is going to be our first year where we're not going to be together and like I feel like a decade.

Wait, I get to be with my husband on Valentine's Day weird. I'm so jealous of being with my husband, you can you can.

Your husband being with you. Oh, that's cute. Yeah. I don't know why I felt the need to share that I just did.

That's because we love each other. And actually last Valentine's Day like our dad, it was like one of his last few days because he died the 18th. And our dad at the end was very sweet our mom to like our they're sweet normally, but there was this layer of like, not needing anything from anyone and just being there, which was like a different type of experience with our father. And it was Valentine's Day and he was sitting there on his bed and he goes, I'm in love. And I was expecting him to like give us a name of a woman because he had lots of like female friends around the world on the internet and in Winnipeg. And he goes, I'm in love with my beautiful daughters. And it was just so sweet. And I thought that was really like special.

And I think it was one of the last like lucidity things he actually said which was kind of nice. I feel

like one of the last things he said to me was he told me to fuck

right? Yeah, so we can forget about the fuck off. But

you know, it's funny. It's like I did anyways, so this podcast like, you know, we did it for a year. We don't know how long we're going to do it. You know, I've been sharing I've started to openly share more about my the opportunity for me to share our story on Prime I'm filming in March. I don't know when it's going to air and I'll keep everyone up to date. But I know it's really going to amplify this community. So I invite you to go you know, to subscribe to this podcast, send this to people you know, to someone have a story that they want to share. You can submit it on our website and the link is in the bio. You can reach out and potentially even be a guest on this podcast. But we have some amazing guests coming up in the next year we have more Griefy Gals segments with me and Alanna and you know my friends who I was sharing this you know my my vision, my passion, my turning my pain into purpose the project with I had a common common, like set of comments, and it was, are you gonna have a show? Like, like a talk show? And I was like, I don't know, they're like, well, you should because like, it's, you're funny, and you hold space. So, I mean, I do believe anything is possible and I'm in talks with some people about some cool things. And, you know, if you follow along, I'm always announcing fun, cool twists and turns in our life. And, you know, we're, I'm going into year 38 of my life and so I'm getting ready for some big stuff in the next decade. And every day we move the needle closer to helping another person every day we're empowering people. And you know, we wouldn't be here without you.

And I just want to share while people are asking me if you're going to be on a show, I just want to put it out there in the universe. That if we as Griffey girls radical resilience, global resilience can be on any show. I would love it to be the Kelly Clarkson show. But you're gonna say survivor and I was gonna like give you this I know you gave me this you gave me this look like what what is she gonna say not

let Jeff put us on Survivor are amazing race because we were bad at running.

We're terrible rugby players pitch and tone and I just slow. But if anyone can get

Kelly, are you out there?

It would be a dream. It doesn't even have to be like a full segment. I mean, that would be nice. Anyways,

I just want to like Kelly Kelly Clarkson has his talk show. But I think just a little background. And this will be the final thing we say. And we're going to leave this on a high note. And it's Alanna as Kelly Clarkson's number one fan. She was part of her fan club. She's met Kelly Clarkson a few times. In fact, we went to see her show in New York. And we I waited around for her so she can meet Kelly Clarkson. And it put out she put on a good show. And you know, if you are out there listening, and you have a connection to a producer of the show, and you want to help us spread the word. Let's do it. And if Alanna wants to set that goal to get us and our project on Kelly Clarkson show, we're going to make it happen. Like I'm going to be we're going to be on prime. We have a podcast for publishing books, Atlanta, anything is possible. Especially Kelly, if you're out there listening to this. Maybe you can help make this happen.

Yeah, I really don't feel like I should share what I'm about to share because that was just such a perfect ending. But, you know, we're real and I feel like I need to share that the first time I met Kelly Clarkson. I wanted to be like, Porky and whatnot and I wore a shirt that said SS for shorty because I'm sure but also I got a you know those glasses that come with like noses and like mustaches. I made her wear it for the picture.

Do you still have the picture?

Me I for sure have it somewhere. But Kelly if you're out there just know I won't make you

do that again. And just know that I'm the fun cool sister. So thank you for everyone for tuning in to another episode of radical resilience for following us along for the year for crying with us for laughing with us for all the feedback you've given us. You know this is just a window into our lives and it's a safe space for everyone to listen to and sharing stories of resilience. It is okay to not be okay you are not alone even when you feel like that. Let us be the lighthouse in a storm. Let us help you through those dark challenges. It is Blair Kaplan Venables and Alana Kaplan the Griefy Gals, the Kaplan sisters and we just want to thank you for being you.