Listen to the Voice that Whispers You Can!

Hello, and welcome to Rediscovering U where you will find valuable insights, support and education to help you move through the difficult and often painful process of divorce with grace and courage and hope and find the ultimate gift of rediscovering yourself. I'm your host, Barb Greenberg, award winning author and founder of rediscovering you. If I'd had access to a resource like this during my divorce, I would have not felt so isolated, I would have made much better decisions, I still would have breathed for that for so hard for so long. And I wouldn't have eaten so many boxes of macaroni and cheese. When women heal. Families heal when families heal communities heal. When communities heal, the possibilities are endless. Let's get started.

In my rediscovering you podcast trailer, I explained why I decided to start this podcast. And today I wanted to share with you what led me to that decision. And I'll start in my 50s I won't go too far back in my life. But in my 50s, I thought I had a good marriage, we had a lovely home in the suburbs met two fabulous, we have two fabulous daughters, one moved to New Mexico to start a spectacular Dance Company. The other one had just graduated college, she had been on the crew team, you know those narrowboats that people wrote the team roles and they go flying through the water. I went to one of their trainings and fattest, hard work. But I found someone wearing a t shirt with a great quote on it that I just love. So I took a picture of the back of her t shirt with a quote because it really resonated with me. And it said, the biggest challenge, your biggest challenge is in someone else. It's the ache in your lungs and the burning in your legs. And the voice inside you that says can't. But you don't listen, you push harder. And then you hear the voice whisper can. And you realize that the person you thought you were is no match for the person that you really are. There was something about that quote that just got to me.

So after crew team was over, and college was over, she and her friends went on an adventure, put on their backpacks and went on an adventure. And we got the middle of the night phone call that there'd been an accident. And she was in a life threatening situation. And she is a miracle child, she survived she decided to come back and fight them reclaim her life, which was really a miracle. And as I watched her healing, I thought, Hmm, maybe I should take a look at my life and see what's going on in my life as well. And after a lot of soul searching some time, some very difficult decisions, I did decide to file for divorce, it was very painful, was a very painful decision. And it was also absolutely the right decision. It was almost like, you know the end of the Wizard of Oz ignore the man behind the curtain. Once you see things about your life and your situation, you can't not see them anymore.

So I was all of a sudden, single after 33 years of marriage, and I thought, oh my goodness, I need to support myself. And I thought well, I'll go back to the business I was in I couldn't do that. No problem. I put everything on hold. Well, I was with my daughter that she was healing. And I started to do that again. And a voice that little voice inside you, you know that you've got sometimes she wanted just to be quiet. It said you're not supposed to be doing that anymore, honey. Oh, what am I supposed to be doing? So the first thing I could think of was I would substitute teach because 100 years ago for about five minutes I was a teacher. So I went to my first Sabine job. And it was high school. The class was absolutely wonderful. The teacher left great lesson plans. I got in my car was only a half day I don't have to be there half day I walked out of school got in my car and we're not supposed to be doing that either.

And so I had to trust that something was coming. And it did. I eventually founded rediscovering you to provide education support and resources for other women moving through divorce. And I wanted to do that because I would have appreciate and something like that a program like that. It on My divorce journey. I made so many bad decisions I, I read for way too long, I just I was in the corner. And I think as I mentioned before eating way too many boxes of macaroni and cheese. So I that was really important to me. We started out with a monthly meeting. And we would find a restaurant with a private room. And during dinner, we would go around the table and women could share their stories, not to whine though I do say whining every once in a while to a good friend couldn't hurt. But it wasn't to whine it was a way to share your story in a place where your story was honored. What you said help somebody else. And then everyone knew they were not alone.

And then we would have a guest speaker. So our first guest speaker was a mediator. When she began her presentation, I turned to the waiter and I said how much longer can we be in this room. And he said, well, the restaurant closed 20 minutes ago. So we all walked out into the parking lot and nobody wanted to leave, it was very clear that connecting with each other was so powerful and so meaningful. So after some time, I've got a couple years, I think it was with monthly meetings, I decided to move to weekly meetings because a month seemed too long between connecting with each other. So but weekly meetings, we couldn't go out to dinner every week. That would, that's a little expensive when you're especially when you're going through divorce. So we found somebody graciously offered a conference room in a real estate office. And instead of a meal, I put chocolate kisses on the table, which were a grade yet, and a box of Kleenex in the middle, just just in case. And there were a few tears. And also though there were there was a lot of laughter, which was wonderful. And a lot of sharing. All of this happened to you this happened to me too, this is what I did this is you know, if you need anything, give me a call, friendships were made, it was just overwhelmingly wonderful. And I was inspired every week by the courage of these women. And then the strength that they had, even though they might not have realized it or couldn't imagine it about themselves. They were the they were the heroines of their story. And then what else I liked about it, not only was it this wonderful community sharing ideas, but it was a place where you could kind of take a deep breath, and realize that what you did today was enough. And I had somebody when she told me that phrase, what you did today was enough. Oh my gosh, it was like a boulder off my shoulders, especially when there's so much stress in your life. And I have. So what happens when I said that to myself? At first I was like, oh, you know, the boulder off my shoulders was God. And then that little different little voice said, Well, of course it's not enough. Of course, you have to do more, what's wrong with you, you need to go Go, go, go, go get it done. Get it done. Check everything off your list today. Oh my gosh. But I chose, I chose to listen to the first voice, the voice of compassion. And that made a huge, huge difference.

So that is why these groups led me to want to do this podcast because I really want to reach more women to help them know that they're not alone, to give them tools to move through this process. Difficult, often painful process that they're going through with grace and courage and remind them of their strength and their tenacity, and that they can find a wonderful life for themselves. I could not see what my future was going to be. And that's true for a lot of us going through divorce. You just don't know what's going to happen next, what's going to come. But I trusted that there was something there. And it was waiting my future was waiting for me to figure it out. And that's what I want for you to to know that you don't have to know exactly what's going to happen. Because if anything else divorce teaches us that life is uncertain things change. Things we don't have control over often, but your future is waiting for you. You will find it and it will lead you to a wonderful path. abilities, and you will become aware of the precious, amazing woman that you are.