JACKIE COTE - Leadership Mindset Coach

Hi, I'm Tammy Gross, the Scriptpreneur. Welcome to Reel Life Stories where difference makers come to share their Hollywood worthy transformation stories. I love interviewing people who faced a mountain overcome it the hard way, and figured out a solution to help the rest of us conquer that same mountain. Because when we share our stories, we change lives.

Okay, so we have a very special guest right now her name is Jackie Cote. And she is a leadership mindset coach. This Jersey girl mentors, coaches, supports and holds people accountable to their goals and dreams, she has been given the opportunity to help so many, and give them the complete attention. They deserve to grow and achieve their goals, whatever they may be, so that they can truly achieve a life that they love with the freedom and adventure they desire. And I can't think of a better like, Dream thing to do for people. I mean, that has got to make you feel great. You're living your dream life. And you're helping other people to do the same thing. So welcome, Jackie.

Thank you so much for having me, it's super excited to be here with you.

Good, me too. Well, I'm actually going to let you jump into story. You know, everything I do is all about story. And I love hearing people's transformation story. And you have a pretty cool one, like you got fired, basically. And and, and as far as I can tell, it seems to be the best thing that ever happened to you. So I'm gonna let you tell your story and and start us wherever you wherever you think it's most relevant to how you've gotten to where you are today. And then I'll I'll ask you a couple more questions at the end so that you can maybe give us some, some more information about about how people can kind of take your story and put it into some kind of action in their own world. So let's hear about Jackie. Awesome.

Well, thanks so much. And yeah, it is funny that the best thing that's ever happened to me was getting fired. I was in the restaurant business for 30 years. I did the whole go to college, get a degree I started teaching and like one year of teaching, I was like, Yeah, this isn't for me, God bless the teachers and what they do, and but I realized that I still had this passion for wanting to like teach and mentor and, and be in that coach role. I just didn't understand what that was quite yet. Right. And the restaurant business kind of swooped me out for 30 years. And in that business, I was in leadership management. And I ended up doing like promoting over 300 people and helping them with that gift, the belief and holding that up for them and helping them get to the next level when they didn't think they could so many people were so many people were doing this. Not like they couldn't speak English, or they're coming from another country. And I would help them get all the way through to running their own restaurant and changing their families lives. Absolutely loved it. But those of you have ever been in the restaurant business, can I can I get up no life, no time. Struggle for the money. So I was working 6070 hours, but there's still my dad, he's always asked me Why do you do this? Like, why do you work so hard? And I laughed because my dad is someone who worked 90 hours a week raising six of us after mom passed away, right? So my story is my dad, who ran a construction company doing that. So I was like, you've got to struggle, and you've got to work really hard and you got to push and you got to go to the restaurant business was a perfect fit for my story. For what I knew growing up, well, then, the last part of my story was of my restaurant business. I was two years in a corporate office, which is so funny for someone like me, because that's like, an animal in a cage. Like, let me out, can't do this. And it was a struggle. And it was a very big challenge. And I felt resistance the entire time. During that two years, and towards the last six months, I started seeing a friend of mine talking about this coaching thing. Now, I don't know about you. But three years ago, I had no idea about coaching except for like football coach soccer coach, those kinds of coaches, right. And I had been called a coach before because I've mentored people, but not in any sense like that I'm currently doing, right. So there's a schooling he was doing and I jumped in. And the reason I tell you this part is because it was everything happens exactly the way it's supposed to. I jumped into the schooling, I hadn't been in college since 94. This was three years ago and I was like, Hey, let's learn something new. Right? And I get into it and like within a month I was like in Wonderland. I was like, What is this magical thing. I could do everything that I do in my current job and do it for my own thing in my own business, but I was still brand new still learning and two months into that experience. My job brought me in fired me walked me out like I was like some kind of criminal they like escorted me out of the building even though I wasn't like it was just that they were letting me go because of there wasn't a good match wasn't a good fit. They were had too many people for the positions. They were merging with another company like all these reasons, but I'm like what is going on right now? But do you know, Tammy? I felt so relieved. Like as I'm getting pushed out of the like, walked out of the building my computer take in all my stuff, which I've never experienced this all this stuff and like, I'm like feeling relief in my shoulders as I'm losing my six figure income and as I'm walking out the door, and I'm like, Why do I feel so good? And I sat in the car, you know, initial reaction obviously is like tears, you know? Oh, no, what am I gonna do say

you didn't you didn't feel good right away? I'm sure because that that was like such a humiliating and surprising way for them to do that.

Yeah, yeah. And I, I am. I gotta say it was a mix. But I didn't understand the mix. Looking back, I get it now. But the mix was like relief. And oh, no. But the relief was because I had met this other like opportunity, like this thing had been like shined into my life going. And I was like, well, there's possibility but I was no way ready to build a business and run a business. Yes, what I was discovering in the coaching world is, as you get into self development, and growth and all that stuff, I had a lot of healing myself to do. I had a lot like, I had let myself go physically, I had my relationship was about on the on the rocks about to break up. I was not in a good place, personally than I've ever been unhappy. And I was taking it out on a lot of other things. And I'm a pretty nice person. But so I get home. And I'm like, Okay, do I go and rush and get another job? Or do I go and build this business was like, I have no idea what to do. So I started interviewing the logical thing, the smart the safe thing. And I started interviewing for jobs, and I get in restaurant business showing a piece of meat, you'll get a job in a heartbeat. So I already got like three offers right off the bat. But the third one was a guy, ironically, was someone I used to work with at a previous company, and he gets on the phone with me, you're gonna look gets on the phone with me and he goes, I will hire you. I don't need to interview you. I love you. I used to work with you. He adored what I did in my past job. He's like, I'll hire you in a hunger for more money. Because when I asked him one question, I said, yeah, he was what do you really want to do with your life? And I just went, huh, like, Well, I started this coaching thing. I'm really excited. And oh, my gosh, I could totally do that. And I started like, going off for like, 10 minutes. And he's like, great. He's like, How much money do you have to survive on? Like, why are you asking me this? So he's walking me through, like, what the possibility of stepping into my dream. He goes, You have enough money to live for a year because I did ironically, like I'd save money, I did aside credit cards, whatever. He's like, call me in a year if it doesn't work. And he's like, and I'm not hiring you. And I was like, he gave me permission. So that's the first thing like we got to give ourselves permission.

And a crazy how we do it, somebody has to give us permission. And and then we can give ourselves permission sometimes that's what kind of knocks things around in your brain. Yeah,

it was definitely definitely placed in that moment from God universe. It's just like, ah, and so when I said, You know what, he's right, I could take the risk and bet on myself because I, I had some money in the background. So I took six months off. And I don't know about you, but I've been working. So I was 14, I paid for everything myself my entire life. And to take six months off, like take more than a seven day period without having to ask for mega permission from your boss. And from every level. And in the restaurant. I took six months off, and I vacation seven times. And I like tasted freedom. And I tasted this like, Oh, I'm never going back to a job. So that was pretty amazing. And then that after that six months, I felt so much more aligned with myself and still had a ways to go, you know, we always have a journey, right? But I was like, ready, and I hired a coach. And that's when I stepped into learning how to build my business. But it was still I mean, it's still that first year, that's still at nine months, timeframe. From that point, I ended up having so much more healing that she helped me with and so much more like, Aha moments of money stories and the mindset behind things. And this and that. And then when we talk about the lessons later that I've learned, like one of them is going to be about trusting and surrendering. Well, girl, I'm going I got it girl, I had 30 years of doing this on my own, I don't need any help. And you're not going to help because if you helped me become successful, then I didn't do it on my own. So I don't need your money. I don't I mean, I was pushing clients, like I was not letting clients enroll with me because I was like, if you give me money, you're helping me be successful. That's the thought pattern. Didn't realize that sneaky one was in there. And when I finally like learned all these underlying things, I was able to then build my business. So today, I'm in my coaching business for three years now. So it'll be three years. Yeah, I don't start to blend right. It was three years in February. That's right. 2019 three years in February, and I'm now able to help people experience and create the same freedom I currently have. So I'm real passionate about having my time freedom, having my money freedom, you know to make what I'm worth I hit the six figure mark. On the month they fired me a year. They fired me and it was two year mark. It was a year because I took six months off, it was a two year mark of me being away from them and firing me that month to like the day I crossed six figures. And I was like them, I call my coach and I'm like, in their face, in their face. It wasn't, it wasn't in their face, it was my belief system, and never believed I was worthy of that six figures in a job. Right? When you're in this. And when you're in this world of possibility, I knew that it was possible, and I could do it. And so and so now my passion is helping people step into that life of freedom. Whether it's time, money, location, love body, I went through a whole shift in my relationship with my body and food. And in the chatter, the emotional freedom, like you name it. It's a life that we desire to live that we don't have, because we're so focused on the money and the job and the career and the success that we forget to build a life. Yeah, exactly. So I teach people build a life first, fit the money and success into it. Yeah, that's why I'm where I am today. Oh, and I live in an RV full time, that's my version of freedom.

I love you know, I mean, you are like the ultimate freedom you're like, hitting the road whenever you want to. And I just love that. Yeah, that that's one of the coolest things that I think I've heard from anybody is that your version of freedom is true freedom, where you're literally getting on the road whenever you want, and, and get your open skies whenever you want them, you know, go to the city when you want to. I mean, you're living a dream for sure. And, and the way that you are taking everything that you learned and helping other people to do it is, you know, that is what I call a difference maker, you know, you're, you're changing the world, you know, and we've got, we've got people listening, and they're, they're in whatever situation they're in. And you can always give some people some value, even if you aren't working with them one on one. And so I'm hoping that you can give us like some of the tips of some of the things that you learned, and, and how we can apply how we, the people listening can just apply some things for ourselves. And then I have a feeling that, you know, you're going to blow me away with this. So. So I know that there's also people who are going to want to work with you. So we'll talk a little bit about that later. But, but for sure, I want to hear anything that you can give us for any kind of tips of how we can start having that same mindset. You mentioned many mindset things. So I'll turn it over to you. And just like whatever you have for us, we're eager for it.

Hmm, can I just carry you along with me from our marketing, please? Because that was fabulous. Like, let me go. I was like, all warm and fuzzy inside. So the first thing I would say is feel the fear and do it anyway. That is something that when I asked like my coach one time turned to me, she said, do you understand only 3% or less of coaches really hit this like income level that you're at, and the success that you've built in the period of time, especially that you've done it and I was asked to me I was like, that's, that's awesome. But the biggest thing I said, What was the biggest thing that you said, looking from the outside looking in, and she's like, because you just you see the fear, you feel the fear, and you're gonna do it anyway. Because you know, that like, like, you can't control the other side. But you can control the front end, and just go and good, bad, ugly, whatever it is, you just pivot. And I've had to do that my whole life. Like I started doing everything on my own since I was seven. And I have have great mom or stepmom and a great dad, but like they were busy. And so I had to learn how to pivot and figure things out and problem solve and all that real early on. And I know a lot of listeners can relate to that. I would say the second thing is, is oh gosh, please bet on you. Like when you're putting a decision between, you know, the comfortable safe place, versus taking the risk and betting on you moving forward or doing something that like you don't like people say you shouldn't or it's not you know, it's not the safe bet on you man because it there's discomfort whichever direction you go. If you stay where you're at and you're unhappy or you're not satisfied, there's discomfort. If you go forward to something unknown, there's discomfort. So choose your discomfort.

Exactly. And when you're betting you know, there's always risk right. But there's same thing there's risk either way, there's risk if you stay comfortable, because you're risking not living your true life that you really need to be. I know the word authentic comes up a lot, you know, authentic life. And of course there's a risk that okay, now you have to make things happen. And I would much rather bet on on making things happen than just leaving that status quo and not moving

forward. Yes, and then And the other part of betting on you is making yourself that priority. Because what I never realized is like, like, as women, we just have this undeniable, like want to do for everybody, right? And so we're like, we pour everything out. And I know, we've all heard the fill your cup, put your air mask on all the sayings and all that stuff. But I didn't realize how true that really was. Until I got into this into this part of my life. And everything starts with you. So why not bet on you? Like if everything starts with you, everything's got to come back. You got to take care of you first so that they can get the best version of you whether it's your clients, your family, you have to take care of you first. Absolutely. Without I will, I will preach that to the day I die. Yep. The other thing I would say, too, is, I this was this is this is harder for people than I thought it would be including myself, is visioning for the future. Because we have this we love to live in. As humans, we love to live in the past that we cannot change the future worries of like the what ifs and oh my gosh, what if it's like, it doesn't work out this and that. We can't control that. Right. And so it's not really productive. It's definition of insanity is to live in these two areas. But a great place to live that I've discovered and I really coach people heavily on this in the freebie actually includes this is this visioning where you you create the vision when you bring it into today and you step into it as if it's already happened. You live it in today. So like I wanted to be biolink by water. I wanted to travel and I wanted to so so what we did is we rented a place in a lake community. And we I walked to the lake and brought my computer and sat by the lake and I pretended it was my lake. I pretended it's my lakefront property. I didn't ever lakefront property. Now yet, it's on my list, like my ultimate is a house with a mountain view on lots of property on a lake. Like I've got the whole picture in here, right. But it took me a while like I had to, we had to like all of the Am I worthy of it? Do I believe it all all that stuff had to be kind of cracked open so that I can let myself dream and vision. But then when you've got that vision, you get to live there, instead of that past that we can't change. And that future we can't control right? The words We can't control, you get to live in the fun stuff. So why not live where it's like fun to like, stand in what it is you desire. And so that's, that's another one is find out, find a way to get yourself to vision, what it is you truly want in life. And you're going to hear a lot of logical, I call them BS thoughts, like where they just kind of like that come down and they come down and they come down. And I just say put that on another piece of paper and write down like put put the logical stuff over, because it's okay, I understand why it's happening. But then let all the other stuff come in, and then just soak that in and live in that live in that vision. Because the other two places are not fun.

Oh, that makes so much sense. And that is that's like that those are very practical. And yet really fun things for us to really implement the same kind of attitude that you did, so that you can get to where you want it to be. And, and, and I know that you want to help people, like I said, there's there's some people listening. So sometimes you can't always work with every single person one on one. But it's so great that you get to talk to, you know, many people at the same time. And those people can benefit because I know that you have a freebie that we can do a download on that we'll have we'll have some of this kind of teaching in it.

Yeah, it's called intentionally, like intentional goal setting. And we've been taught goal setting. Okay, yeah. So it we've been taught to do smart goals, right? Like Specific, measurable. This is a different way of looking at goal setting. And to make it brief, it's that I'm going to teach you in this video, because the freebies of video, how to set intentions, that how are you going to feel when you receive the external thing. It's teaching you that external versus internal, because the external thing, have you ever gotten somewhere and achieved a goal of money or weight or whatever and gotten there and you're still not happy? Yeah, yeah, cuz the external thing doesn't fulfill the internal needs. So I'm going to teach you in this video how to create intentional internal satisfaction while you achieve your goals while you achieve the numbers.

Oh, that's so cool. Okay, we are putting we're putting that on the screen where you can get that and it'll be in the show notes as well. And I also want maybe something will happen that link someday or something and so the way that people can get ahold of you is go to Jackie Cote. coaching.com Correct.

Yes, that is my website. And if you're a Facebook fan, come to me and just be friends Jackie cote like I where you go, people you'll see me all over my whole life is on Facebook.

I love that. Well, I have one final question for you. And I think you've kind have already answered it in a way so, but you can answer any way you want. It's kind of a two to two pronged question. Okay? If money were not an issue, what is your big, fat hairy, audacious goal in life? In other words, what is the legacy you want to leave behind?

Hmm, that's such a good question. And you're right, a couple pieces of it already have been exposed in this interview, in a good way. It's, for me, it's never been the quantity of money. It's the feeling of freedom. And to be able to do what I want, when I want whenever I want without having to ask for permission from anyone, including myself, and live a life where I don't have to ask for permission to do what I want. I don't have to I can go where I want and do what I want. And I'm kind of there. And here's one thing about like, like, I said, that I'm like, I want to be a million dollar earner. And I do I want that house that house is happening with lots of land, we're gonna build an RV property on it, we're gonna have like an RV park and a little tiny home thing and like, we're gonna board dogs, we have all sorts of dreams with this property, right? Who will find it, we're traveling until we find it and we find it, we'll buy it and plant our flag. But that, that you get to have a dream life no matter what the income is. And that's I want to really press that doesn't matter how much money is coming in, you can live a life of freedom when it comes from inside. And

that's true joy. That's true contentment. I love that. I love that. That is so cool. Well, this has been great. I'm so glad that this audience has gotten to know you a little bit and that I've gotten to know you a little bit more. And now they have a way that they can contact you. So I just want to kind of hand it over to you for any final words that you might have.

Just know that the life that you desire, if you have a desire, it's from up above and it's come to you your men for it. So I call my you know groups, all Destiny makers because you have anything that's a desire, you're destined to have it become a destiny maker. Seek that freedom. You deserve all of it and you're worthy of it all.

Destiny maker, I love it. Thank you so much, Jackie.

So good to be here.