JULIE LITTLE - The “It’s My Turn” Life Coach

Hi, I'm Tammy Gross, the Scriptprenuer. Welcome to Reel Life Stories where difference makers come to share their Hollywood worthy transformation stories. I love interviewing people who faced a mountain, overcome it the hard way, and figured out a solution to help the rest of us conquer that same mountain. Because when we share our stories, we change lives.

Well, today we have a very special speaker. Her name is Julie Little. And I call her the it's my turn life coach. Julie Little is an author and coach to women suffering burnout and or disillusion, or just, you know, problems in their lives that they're just ready to make a change in. And so through her unique coaching program, she's helping women see that it's okay for it to be their turn in life. And I really love that. Welcome to the podcast, Julie.

Thank you, Tammy. I really appreciate it. I love being here. Well, great.

I want to hear your story you have you have a story that brought you to the point where you are showing up in the world as a person who can help other people. And for a lot of us that stems in some childhood trauma, or some childhood wonderfulness that brings us along with crazy journey. And I am really curious to know where your journey began and how you got onto this path to being helping other people. I'm sure that life was not always perfectly rosy. But where did things kind of start for you?

Thank you, Tammy. Well, just a couple of years ago, I wrote this all out. So I kind of am feeling like really connected to it. But my my crazy upbringing, I guess, was making me feel from the very beginning when I was even like two and three and four, that I didn't really have a place in the world, I didn't have any value. I didn't have any worth unless I took care of my siblings. So I guess I was taking care of people pretty early on. By the time I was two and a half, my little brother was adopted and brought into the home so that I would have someone to take care of I guess, or at least it felt that way. My mom was really super single mom and busy and go into grad school. And I was taking care of my younger brother and sister once my sister was born. So I always felt like her attention was towards what she was trying to do, which I can see that it was her turn. And it was my role from early on. My father was out of the picture, to take care of people. And I took care of

him a lot to put on a kid. That's a lot. That's a lot for a kid to take on. So I'm very curious to know how you handled that. And what, how that turned out for your life.

Yeah, thank you. My little sister was born when I was seven. So I did everything. I taught her how to talk and I fed her and I did everything I carried her. I did all of that caregiving. And I remember teaching her how to ride a bike, and all of that. And then all kinds of changes in many different stepdads and all kinds of things falling apart. And I left or I was left by the time I was in high school. And there was another family. And my mom took off and went to another state with both siblings, so I didn't get to take care of them anymore. And so I survived the last couple of years of high school living with somebody else. And then I went to college. So, you know, in 2019, I decided that my mom's still alive. But I can write this book and tell my memoir, you know, tell my story to people. And I can write it in a way that she can read it. And my sister can read it. And my other siblings, my brother died early on. So it really was a lot of work. But I think I pulled it together in my head so that my life wasn't bad. It was It was chaotic. It was crazy. In a lot of ways. It was a lot of change. But my life led me here and I and I kind of got to that point where I like helping other people. I liked being there for my sister and my brother. And I enjoy. You know, working with adults now I taught school for 35 years, in the public schools in your elementary and junior high, I left at junior high. And so what I loved about the process of getting it all together and making a new change and a new decision was I like working with people one on one.

Not that's not

35 in a classroom, you know, like I had been doing for all those years. So now I get to do what I want and I get to feel good about the past, in a way that I never did.

You, were you already, before you started writing the book, were you already starting to work with other people and doing some of this one on one because it sounds like the book itself also is a big part of your journey, because you said that, you know, your mom is still alive. And you were looking for what you really felt about that, what could be called a crazy upbringing. And, and, and framing it, you wanted to frame it. So it sounds like that is actually part of your journey that also informs how you can help other people at the same time. It really

was. And it was very healing to do that. And the ending of the story I describe adopting my daughter from China. And I describe raising her by myself and how that felt when it was really busy and crazy. And I was, you know, the the teaching single mom, but also the spiritual journey of how I you know, found, you know, what's my true home? And there's, there's a part of that book that is about finding my true home. And then three weeks ago, my mom died.

Oh, I'm so sorry. As we are

right now on May 2, so that kind of turned everything topsy turvy. Yeah, and she never read it.

So there's some unresolved stuff going on there for you, that you have to now kind of deal with. Wow. And don't

you think that there is for all of us? Yes, there's a lot of unresolved, like, you know, the relationship with the siblings that are still alive and my relationship to myself and what my mother was to me, there's a lot going on for me right now. With all of that, and so I'm really glad I wrote that memoir. Because it was a, it was kind of like a beginning and a middle and end at that moment. And it was published in December of 2019. So I got to say, look, here's where I ended up. And then now in 2022, my mom died recently. And I get to, I get to figure that out. You know, I get to figure out like, because a lot of clients that I work with, I work with many clients, mostly women who have been taking care of others, or who have been working in careers for a very long time. And it's just go go go and busy, busy and hamster wheel, you know, and when somebody says to them, wow, you could have like, a life that's yours. That's your turn. That's your way. They're like, Whoa, I could wow, you know, and so all of us have had loss and difficulties and like, struggle, there isn't anybody that hasn't.

Right? That's so true. And the people that you're helping, they're still living life, right? Just like you, you're, you're going to do something, and and they're going to continually go through things. But you've been learning a lot of not just coping, I'm sure. Because I know that it's so that you can literally have a better life and so that you can concentrate on, on taking care of you. The whole well being thing is like, is so important. And you found a way to help yourself and helping others as they are continually going through things. It's it's interesting that this is happening right now with losing your mom, so recently, as having written the book going through that process and everything, and I love that that's a way that you know how to show up in the world, but it's not, you know, I know that some of us we worry about the selfishness of like, well, I have to take care of me. But then that in that selfish, you know, I mean, how do you how do you kind of address that for yourself? And for others? Yeah,

very good question. I hear that quite a bit. And even when I don't hear it, I, I see that it's an underlying, you know, people have it in their heads. What I think of is it is not selfish, it is self prioritizing, or self managing. What am I say is I stand up for myself? And there's not very many of us who would say, oh, no, that's not good. But you do need to stand up for yourself, you might, you might need to stand up for yourself in your marriage and in your business and in your relationships with your siblings. Yeah, with your being a daughter, being a mom, you know, if you stand up for yourself and say, you know, I'm still going to do everything for you, my dear child, but I'm going to stand up for what I am my values and what I need and my well being and my, my beliefs, you know, so I'm not going to bend over backwards and do things that aren't good for me in order to give you what you want.

Exactly. And you're also showing them that their self care is important. So you're modeling that self care is very important. It's you know, we've heard it a Could jillion times, but it's so true that when you're on an airplane, what is the first thing you do? If there's an issue and an emergency, you put that mask on yourself first. And that's a really important thing. A lot of people

kind of understand why. But if you talk to them about why do you put your oxygen mask on yourself, it's kind of like, well, because they tell you to, but no, it's so that you're still you are a well, that is filled, that's your wellness, you're filled with enough to give like that. Yeah. And I do that with people to help them fill their Well, I actually have a 21 year old daughter, that's my little, little baby girl I adopted back then. And she's in college. And she, that's what made me think of that part is when you said you're modeling for others, you know, she needs to see me in the selfish thing, she needs to see me be selfish enough self caring enough self supporting enough to standing up for myself, so that she sees that she can do that, too.

I love that. And I'm sure that that is helping her in her life. I mean, she's been seeing you modeling it, she's been seeing you grow as a person. And that's so important. And wow, that, that must have been quite a thing to just going through the whole adoption and everything. I feel like that's a whole other story that I'd love to get into someday, because that's very, that shows you living out everything that you're talking about. When you adopt, there's a different mindset, then when you're just just when you're just having your own family, you know, and doing it the natural way. But when you adopt there, there is a specialness there. And it goes right along with everything you talk about, that you coach people with and that you help them with. So I love hearing that part of your story. I did not know some of this. So that is really, really cool. Usually I kind of notice things as we get in and and I love these cries. So I appreciate that a lot. And one of the things that you have recently done is you put together a three step, lean into happiness help a downloadable something that's a two page like, is it? Is it sort of a checklist? Or is it what describe it for us?

Well, I don't know if I would call it a checklist. But it is more like a bulleted description of oh, okay, how to look at the three different areas of three steps how to look at those three steps that you that not everybody, you know, take takes like yet to stand up for themselves, and how that mindset, how we honor ourselves. And I think if I work with somebody in my program, which is called it's my turn, that's the very first thing I do, is I talk to them about how are they currently honoring themselves? And how are they not?

Exactly, because you had to figure that out, too. It's like, it's like, you know, this is what I always say about storytelling. And this is something that you know, my audience hears over and over again, is that we go, we find that there's this thing in our life, this problem, there's something that you know, needs addressing, and then we see this mountain in front of us and you had quite a mountain with the way that you grew up and all the things you've had to figure out and overcome very much on your own. And with the surprising people in your life, I'm sure I know there's a lot more of a story, then then just just your mom, your mom was not the one that was really the one who got guided you through some of this. So that's quite a mountain right there when you don't have your mom holding your hand and pulling you up that mountain. And so that is really very, very cool. Because then when you get to the other side, and you get to that solution, you kind of swipe that mountain away a little bit and help people get to a point where they can help themselves a little bit more. And I love it. That's how you're showing up in the world. And your website is jewels of well being I love that by the way, you make tools I call my cousin Julie, who was in your area and your Portland. And we call her jewels. And I love that that's jewels of well being that's really, really cool. So that is where people can contact you. They can ask you some more questions. But we'll also put in the show notes, how they can get this downloadable from you. Because I think that that is a great starting point. And it helps them it helps people know that this is where I can start thinking about things and it helps them change their mindset. So they're ready to possibly work with you, if that's if that's their next step for them. So, I actually want to ask you a question that, you know, you don't have to be thinking specifically about everything we just talked about, but in whatever context you want. If money were not an issue, how would you live out your legacy now, so that you can leave a legacy for others later.

I really feel that it's retreats. It's the it's my turn, wellbeing retreat. And I've made some steps that direction in the past, but if I could just like let's say I would by a retreat center in Oahu in Hawaii, you know, I'll buy it tomorrow at Money's no object, and then I'll invite people to come out to Hawaii and work with me and others for like, you know, a four day or you know, maybe extended retreats where wellbeing is the goal. And it's about my turn. And I've also had a lot of couples who it would be No, maybe not my turn, but maybe it's our turn or something. But similar right there, right II ways that we take better care of ourselves, we stand up for ourselves. And when both people in a relationship both stand up for themselves, you'd have a better relationship. Absolutely. You know, it's the whole I was trying to describe to my daughter, you know, it's not going to help you to be a doormat, you need to stand up for yourself in this particular situation she called me about at midnight, you know, and then, and then doing all these things that kind of make us feel our well and feel better, you know, mass movement and some music and some being on the beach and things like that. I think that would be so fun. It would be a legacy that would continue.

Oh, I love that. And we have more to talk about, because that's very similar to what my answer is to reject centers. Big deal for me too, as well. Yeah. And so I love that, that you're thinking big, and you're thinking realistically is at the same time of how, and this is really going to happen, I think for you. So I think that's really cool. That's very cool. Well, I want to give you the final word, because we've talked about several different things that I'm sure have gotten people thinking. But what is what is like a final thought that you would love to have the listeners kind of take away.

My signature talk is happy women change the world. And I guess that's what I want to say is even if it starts with you, Happy women change their world. And if you change your world, and you're ready to make a change, then it actually spills over onto other people that you don't even realize it's doing, you know, spilling over. So you change the world plus a tiny bit more, and then a little more in it and it grows. So I think the world is going the world is feminine now. And in the feminine power. And a lot of women are miserable. So let's do something about that.

Oh, perfect. I love it. I agree. 100%. wholeheartedly, this has been wonderful. Thank you so much for being here. I appreciate it.

Thank you, Tammy, this is great.