STEF “Steve” GARVIN - The Abundance Story Architect

Hi, I'm Tammy Gross, the Scriptprenuer. Welcome to Reel Life Stories where difference makers come to share their Hollywood worthy transformation stories. I love interviewing people who faced a mountain, overcome it the hard way, and figured out a solution to help the rest of us conquer that same mountain. Because when we share our stories, we change lives.

I have a very special guest with me today. His name is Steve Garvin. He's the abundance story architect. And he's the author of never trust your money with a marketer. The Seven Principles of prosperity marketers overlook, and heart notes and anthology of inspiring letters to matters of the heart. His mission is to help authors and speakers create greater prosperity through their transformational story. And I just I gotta say, Steve, that you know that you're very aligned with what I think about too. I love transformational stories. That's really why there's a podcast here, I want to hear transformation stories. And so I just welcome you to this podcast.

Thank you so much, Jamie. It's a delight to be here.

Well, I'm so glad that you're among the first of my guests. And you have a lot to talk about when it comes to story. And when it comes to transformation stories, because we're going to actually do a little bit of teaching. While we're telling a story today, I think. And we've even got a title for it. It's called the golden voice, five essential elements for a richer story. I love that I think that's a great title. And that, again, is very aligned with everything that I want this podcast to be talking about. So to kind of get every get everybody on the same page as to you know, what we're talking about, and who you are, if you can kind of start us out at a beginning point of when you realize that there was something that wasn't right, that needed some correcting in your life. And just give us some background for that, that that kind of brings you forward in your story. Sure.

So the moment and actually the place that I will take you to is the hallway of my house, on Royal pines drive and art in North Carolina. And it's Sunday evening, the end of the weekend and the transition into the workweek. And I am sitting in that hallway in fetal position, tears streaming down my face, because I know I have to go into work yet again in the morning. And that is the last place in the world that I want to be. My I was operating as a corporate accountant. I was someone who was really good with numbers and technology and making things work and coming up with the right answer on paper, but there was a huge hole in my heart that was not being filled. And I had no idea at the time how to solid?

Yeah. Wow, that's that's a very, that's like a really low point. And so it feels like like, kind of just really took you to a point where it's like you couldn't ignore it anymore. So what did you do about it from there? Did you like to try it? Did you try some silly things that just this is ridiculous. And I'm sure there's a little bit of mind games. Okay, I'll let you talk.

Well, the first thing that happened was actually the universe kind of conspired in my favor, although at the time, it did not seem like that at all. I got to the point where I was was fighting whooping cough, coughing so hard, I'd literally pass out. Coming back to work my boss instead of greeting me and saying thanks for coming back to work. giving me this written notice about all the crap that she saw that I was doing. And I didn't, I went even lower to the point that I was very suicidal and had intentions of ending all the pain. And what I moments before I was going to take that final action. I'm in the restroom, and I get to hear this voice that says don't use a permanent solution to solve a temporary problem. And that was enough for me to push pause on my actions at that time. And to start looking and discovering what was what would put me in a better place. How do I go from this really low, awful place to a better place? Fast forward a few months and this time I'm pulled into the HR director's office. And she's telling me as kindly as you possibly can, that they're letting me go. And I'm literally biting my tongue because I'm just so frickin happy that I'm getting out of that place. And when I left, I literally I tell people that I felt like doing cartwheels out the door just because I was so elated. And one of the things that shifted for me between the that being in my boss's office to being in the HR director's office, was that I stopped trying to make the boss happy. I stopped trying to live to someone else's script and started to figure out, well, what is my script? How do I start listening to the story inside instead of the story that I feel like I have to be living, and realizing that I actually had some choice in the map. And that brought opened up a new door for me, maybe that's why I felt like doing cartwheels through it. Because I knew that there was possibility that there was a whole nother huge world on the other side of that door, and all kinds of possibility as to what I could be doing with it.

That is, that is so cool. Now, you obviously had a major, you know, mind shift, mindset shift. And, and so that kind of actually sounds like brings us to one of your points in your five essential elements. Can you tell us about that first

one? Sure. And so the thing that I learned and was that there's actually we don't, we each have our own script to play, we each have our own role to play. And if we are living someone else's script, and measuring our success, measuring our happiness based on someone else's chart, then we struggle we, we don't aren't able to really succeed and to thrive, and I had been living my life based on as a corporate accountant, I was really good at measuring metrics and so forth. But I wasn't paying any attention to my internal metrics. I was completely in my head, living off my ego living off, you know, the accolades and the degrees, and all that kind of stuff. And I had not learned how to start turning into my heart, and start paying attention to what was going on inside. And one of the things that is essential for a richer story, is that there are actually three different ingredients that we learn how to mix together. And that's the story that we have inside of us. There's a story that's going on inside of our audience's mind. And there's a story that is playing across the stage, right, there's the those three relationships, and the story is actually kind of the perfect alchemy, for those stories coming together. And each one of us would have a different mix of those three ingredients, right? That, that the story that I tell for myself would be different than the story that you would be telling for yourself, Tammy? Right. Right. And similarly, our relationship with our audience is different than I have a different relationship with my audience, and then you deal with your audience. I mean, just think about, we connect with people differently and relate to people differently. And that's actually perfectly okay. You know, that it actually works best when we figure out our own recipe as to what is delicious to us, what is sweet to us? How do we create that rich life, and that rich story that is truly ours, rather than somebody else's. And rather than comparing my story to your story, or vice versa, or somebody else's, you know, simply being true to the story that I have to tell. And loving every bit of it, including, part of that is it took me six years from the time that I nearly lost my life to suicide, to speaking publicly about that. Because I had so much shame around it, you know, it's not something that I'm proud of. It's like, Hey, I like what I did. But when I started to share that story with other people, the response that I got was so different than what I expected. You know, I literally expected people to be throwing, you know, at least the the equivalent of tomatoes, and you know, just throwing crap in my face. Yeah, and saying, you know, you're such an idiot. And instead of that I actually got so much support so much love. And it was it was such a different experience than than what I expected. And as because I was willing to share the story that I'd be learning how to tell to myself to other people and to be able to connect with other people. let them in on the story that was going on inside of me. Right?

I trust my audience. That's amazing. Oh, well, that's that's a great point that, you know, like, You're your own audience. You don't know if you can trust yourself. But but that's what you learn as you as you start, as you start actually looking at it from that direction. And from that point of view, I love that. So that, yeah, you're trusting your audience? And that's, that's a new concept to me. You know, that's not that's not the way writers think it's like, I don't trust my audience at all, I have to tell them and show them every little thing, you know. So you don't think like a writer? Three? Think, from your heart? Is basically it sounds like what you're saying?

Absolutely. And yeah, and, you know, we, I think about as both a writer, as an author and a speaker, is that we do have a contract with our audience, right? That my audience is expecting certain things from me. And I in turn them in expecting certain things from my audience. And when we trust each other, and when we and we part of that trust is trusting our partners to deliver but it's also allowing for things to show up differently than what we might expect, right? That when we open up and say, Okay, well, I don't really know how this is actually going to work out. I don't know, like, for instance, today, when we, when we're doing this podcast, I don't know exactly how it's all going to play out. And that's totally okay. In fact, it's kind of cool. Because we get to discover how it might unfold, we get to discover, what is this relationship that we're having, between ourselves, as well as with the people who are listening to what we're sharing?

That is so true, because that's exactly what's happening. Because, you know, I kind of have sort of a format that that I do, you know, and I usually just ask one or two specific questions, and then kind of like, let things roll a little bit. But before we started, you're just being true to exactly everything you're talking about where it's like, no, I'm just letting me talk. Why don't why don't we? Why don't you ask me questions, and it'll organically come out the way it needs to. And that was, that was so great. That was freeing for me. And, and it's taken us in a direction that was a little different from what I expected. And I like that. It's a it's a beautiful surprise. So I mean, it just everything that you were going through before. I mean, there was just so much unhappiness around doing what wasn't you, it sounds like and so you know, you, you say that you found the riches were really inside of you inside of your heart. And it wasn't about the money and the metrics on the outside. And, and so now, you've, you've figured this stuff out. And I'm very curious to know how you kind of pulled yourself out of that, to start doing what you're doing now, with helping others.

Sure. That actually brings me to the third point is that I'm that stages of our life, right, that we have to go from one side to the other side, we have to, you know, what is the journey that we're actually on? Right? And for me, I had to really figure out what is the journey that I'm on, and not just someone else's journey, or, you know, what was standard or what I supposed to do or whatever. So we're the architects of our own lives, right? That we get to choose how are we going to put the elements together in order to create the life that we want to be living? We get to choose, you know, how do I want to show up? How do I want? What is the relationship that I want to have with other people? What's that create? What are we creating together? And what is the journey that we're on? What is our, our, the beginning spot that we from which we start, and what's our destination? And how do we actually go from the, I oftentimes think of a campus map, right? Like, you look at a campus map, and there's that little icon that says, you are here. And you know, you want to get over here, right, that we have to know both those places. And there's a lot of flexibility as to how we go from one point to the other point. But we get to choose that that route. And we get to choose how are we going to get there? What is it that we want to experience along the way? And by putting those three things together, the story that we have inside of us the relationship we have with our audience and the journey that we're going on? What is it that we want to experience? What is this? What is the type of story that we're trying to create? You know, you can think about that in terms of like genre, you know, that are like horror movies that are comedy movies, they're dramatic movies or you know, romances and so forth. But what is the story that we're creating? What is the story that that resonates with? That pulls all those pieces together in a beautiful way?

Oh, yeah. I love that. That. That is like that's what brings you full circle, you now have a foundation that that is your starting point. But you also know what your destiny is and, and where you're trying to get to. And and, and you can take the path that you want to take. It's all about freedom. And, and, and being able to create your own story. It sounds like and, and that's a great perspective to come from. I'm just loving this. And we said that there were five essential elements, we've talked about three. And I know that, you know, we have a limit on time here. So I know that you want to give everybody here, something called Grow your prosperity. And that is a link that we're going to have going on the screen and it'll be in the show notes as well make sure that you can get that and will that have all five elements? Or is there another place that they can go to get the five elements? Or can they just talk to you?

I think honestly, the best thing to do would be to talk to me. Talk story with steve.com. And talk.

I like that.

Because the Grow your prosperity is actually more of a kind of a map between the the the starting spot that you start and the spot that you end. The the two points that I really haven't touched on today is is how do you put that together? How do you you know, make sure that that who's the director of the this story that you're telling? And also who's the person on the other side that determines how well did that work? Are we on track? Are we actually making it to where it is that we want to be making? Because you know, we can set our sights on the on the North Star? But how do we know how do we ensure that we're actually getting to where we're going, instead of just relying on blind faith that we're getting to where we want to get?

Exactly Oh, I love that. Okay, so we're giving you that information so that you can talk to Steve, you can learn more about what the next steps are. But you also have this download that we're going to make sure that you have access to. And I have one final question for you. And that is if money were not an issue, and this goes very well with everything we've been talking about, what would be are what is your big, fat, hairy, audacious goal in life? In other words, what is the legacy that you want to leave?

Sure. So my big, hairy, audacious goal, thank you, Jim Collins is to inspire a million stories to be shared to be the bright light in someone's dark night, the more that we're free to share our stories, the brighter the world becomes.

Oh, I love I love that. I mean, that's, that's a very good goal. Well, this has been great talking to you. And I'm really looking forward to seeing how people can explore some more of this. And I want to see your freebie as well. So I'm going to be downloading it myself. And I'll make sure that it remains available for people that they can always get in contact with you. And so this has been great. And I hope that people you know, follow up. But in the meantime, I just want to see if you have like a final word for us so that we leave, we leave on the right note that you want people thinking about before we go

well, that's funny, you should put it that way because hasn't one of the contributing main authors of the book heart nodes, the the final note that I'd like to leave with you is to listen to the heart note that is playing within you. And in order for you to hear that note, you need to be quiet enough and listen closely enough that you can hear the song that is playing inside.

I love that. Thank you so much.