TAMMY RADER - BeYOUtiful Sur-thriver!

Hi, I'm Tammy Gross, the Scriptprenuer. Welcome to Reel Life Stories where difference makers come to share their Hollywood worthy transformation stories. I love interviewing people who faced a mountain, overcome it the hard way, and figured out a solution to help the rest of us conquer that same mountain. Because when we share our stories, we change lives.

Okay, so my guest today is a very special person that I know you're going to fall in love with. She is so awesome. And she has the greatest name in the world. Her name is Tammy. And her last name is Rader which is way better than gross. So let's remember that her name is Tammy Reiter, a very good name. And she doesn't have a title like I, you know, I normally introduce people who have like this title, but you're gonna learn about her and you're gonna see why she doesn't quite have a title yet. And who knows, maybe you as our listeners might be able to help us to help her figure some things out that way. Tammy was a normal working class Canadian when a series of life threatening discoveries changed everything. Today, she's writing a book about her crazy journey through cancer recovery and keeping a positive attitude, themes that we'll be hearing a lot about in the next 10 to 15 minutes. So I just want to say welcome, Tammy.

Thank you, thank you for having me.

I'm so glad you're here, because you have an amazing story. It's a story that's ongoing, I often tell have people come on who have a story that it's like they've been through, and now they're using that story in ways to help other people kind of go through it. And I think you're that person too. But you're kind of in the midst of some of it. But you've also come through an awful lot. And so I'm just gonna let you kind of tell us, when everything kind of started. I know it's been a little over. It's been somewhat over a year, since some big things happen. But if you even need to go back further, however you want to start, I just want to know, like, when everything that we're going to be talking about today kind of happened and how it happened and where you were at in your own world and in your in your own head. So let us know about how it all started.

Okay, awesome. Thank you again. It started last January 2021. And I was simply brushing my hair after coming out of the shower, and my hands happened to go over my breast and I felt a lump. And I thought, Okay, this is something weird. I was working two jobs, I was busy. I was stressed like all of the world is in this time. And it I just I really didn't know what to think actually. I let it go for a week. And then after a week, I realized that it was not going away. So I made a call to the doctor. And she got me in of course do the whole routine thing. mammogram ultrasound biopsy. And it turned out that funny is it be the lump that I found was actually nothing. There were three different lumps underneath the lump that I found. And when they did the biopsy, they also tested three lumps lymph nodes under my underarm. And all three of them were cancerous as well. So here goes the whole journey of okay, what do I do you know what happens? I got the phone call February 18 of 2021 saying you have breast cancer. And I was I was stunned. You're just like your whole body turns numb, you know? And then after that I am i They got me an appointment with the surgeon. And the surgeon called and told me that I had to have a mastectomy. And for some reason, I lost it. I don't know what or why that word just kind of felt like death to me like it was so weird. Anyway, I had the mastectomy rights one side. And then after that, two weeks later, you're supposed to go for your follow up. If I can just back up for a second here. When I was 1617 years old, I was diagnosed with endometriosis and IBS, irritable bowel syndrome. So all my life I've had severe issues, constipation, blood, I don't know what all I can say here, but a lot of things go on in that area. And fast forward to 2017 I was in a bad car accident. And then another one in 2018. Neither one was my fault. You know, they say women drivers. Yeah, yeah. But anyway, yeah. So Anyway, after that, in 2019, I was experiencing some major, major issues in my bottom area. So I went to the doctor, and we discussed it. And she said, Let's go for a colonoscopy. Okay, great. The first appointment was for the first week of April of 2020. Well, we all know what happens in 2020. And my appointments got pushed back and pushed back and ended up being that in 2021, was I actually got my appointment, which just happened to be two weeks after my mastectomy. So I met with a while. Yep, I met with a GI specialist, and he did an internal exam in the room. And my boyfriend was there at the time. And when he was done, he was standing against the counter, and he was washing his hands and the look on his face. I just knew. And he said to me, I don't have good news, I the first thing I said was, do not say those words, I can't. I was just I was at the edge of my seat, I was literally sitting on the edge of the the seat and I was sorry, do not say those words. And he said, I'm sorry, you have rectal cancer 39 days after I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Wow, you're already you know, I often talk about how our stories, especially when we become like difference makers in the world, our stories usually involve some huge problem. You didn't have just one you had, you had you had them piling up. And that creates a mountain that we have to kind of climb. And so you're really still only at the beginning of your mountain here. Because you've just, I mean, you thought that you were you know, that's how it goes sometimes, right? It's like you got to that cliff of like, okay, I've gotta have a mastectomy. And now it's like, that's done. And you think that you're going to be everything's going to be okay now. And you're going to just start working through, you know, recovery, and any of the things that they tell you you need to do. And then you get this news. So you your story is just exactly, you know, like the perfect storm for having the biggest mountain in the world. You have to, like, somehow get around get over something. And, and so, I mean, I didn't mean to totally interrupt, but it's like, you know, I'm all about story. You know, this is the real life, real life stories podcast, and, and your story is very real. And it's and it's real life. And I'm, and I'm on bated breath. But I just wanted to kind of, because we have a lot of people who listen, who are storytellers. And it's like, Guys, story hasn't even really begun yet, you know. So I just want to turn it that to say that and but I'm turning it right back over to you. I want to hear everything that has happened since then, where are you going from there and all that. So apologize for that. But keep going?

No, no worries at all. So basically, the cross Cancer Institute where I had all of my treatments, they didn't know what to do. They said I was a unique case, because they got me started with the breast cancer team. And then the rectal cancer team had to come in and figure out okay, what do we do? What do we treat first? How do we respond to all this? So they basically figured out that because the mastectomy was done, that they we should work on the rectal cancer. So I had three rounds of chemo and 36 rounds of radiation for the rectal cancer. And it was pretty terrifying. It was, I would never wish I wish it upon my worst enemy ever. It was it was bad. But I got through it a lot of humor. Because what else can you do other than sit and cry and feel sorry for yourself, and I'm not that type of person. So excuse me, I and that so we did the treatment for the rectal cancer. And then I had about six weeks where then we were going to start the treatment for the breast cancer and that was going to entail six rounds of chemo lasting 18 weeks, and then 20 radiations for the breast. So in that six week time, I got about a four day window from my oncologist and my doctor to say you can go home fly home. So my family all lives in Ontario, which is 3000 miles away from me. So they weren't with me through this whole journey. So I went home and on the second to last day before I left. My best friend and her daughter were coming for brunch. And that morning, I decided I was going to shave my head because I had already been losing my hair. I was wearing hats. I had this long black hair hair and it was beautiful. And so we decided, so I put my hair in a ponytail, and my son cut my ponytail. And then each one of them took turns. It was just my mom and my dad and my son, and my best friend and her daughter and me. That's it. And each one of them took turns shaving my head. Yep. Wow. It was just the most amazing feeling. And it was very liberating and freeing. And I just like to say in this moment, that if you have somebody that's fighting cancer, and they told you, I'm going to lose my hair, and they're worried about it, please do not tell them. It's just hair. It'll grow back. It's not just hair. Trust me. It's not. So anyway, I came back. Yeah, I came back to Alberta, and started my treatments for the breast cancer. And unfortunately, the after the day of chemo, I had between 24 and 48 hours after that, and I had to take a needle, my my boyfriend had to inject me with a needle, and it was a white blood cell booster. So the chemo will knock your cells down. And then this brings them up. It turns out, I was allergic to it, but they couldn't change it. So every single time after chemo, I ended up in the hospital, and it went from like five days, and then three days. And then one day after each time I ended up in the hospital. So that was fun. Yeah, yeah. But not Yeah, so. But you know what, everything all worked out. I finished all of my treatments, February 1 of 2022. But I would just it's so funny, because I'm done all of my treatments and like those treatments are done. But I can't go a single day without feeling the side effects. So there's so many different things that have happened along the journey. And now I'm with the pelvic floor, physiotherapist, prolapse bladder, there's so many things that have happened, where it's now another journey begins on correcting all of the things that happened during the treatment. So, but that's okay. I believe that it was my attitude, my sense of humor. Yeah. Being extremely grateful for the little things, you know, waking up. I was happy, I woke up every morning. And there were a few times, I will not lie that I didn't know that I was going to wake up the next morning. It had gotten pretty bad a few times, but I'm just so grateful that I did. So

you are so strong. I mean, I know you probably there are probably times when it's like yeah, you don't want to hear certain things. But it's like, you know, I'm just looking at, like, for me, it's like, Oh, my goodness, I'm not sure how I would have handled a lot of this and a lot of people, you know, until you're there. And that's one of the things that you're kind of showing up in the world now, as somebody who wants to help those people who are at that point where it's like, okay, now I'm getting this this diagnosis, I've been given this, this news. And it's so surprising, because when you got the the breast cancer, the diagnosis for that, that was something that I mean, you almost expected it, I suppose if you were you know, here you are, you're combing your hair, and then you feel something so you're expecting you're kind of already on edge probably. And it's something that women have at the back of their mind all the time. It's like a woman's worst nightmare. And and, and not that you were prepared for it, but at least you knew about it. And so then you went in, you get this horrible news, you go through everything that you go through, and then the next step happens. So I love what you're what you're thinking about doing that, you know, we had talked before and you're talking about wanting to bring more awareness to the park that we don't think about and that's the rectal cancer that is something you know, women don't think about getting that I have a friend who had passed away from that. So you are already an amazing person because I have a friend who who did lose his life that way. And and and he was a man and so for him he didn't even see it as being that odd. You know, he didn't have it in his family. But you know, for women especially. Wow, that's such a weird and different thing. And I'm sure you were feeling really uncomfortable with the idea of that and I love what you want to do with it. It's part of your your, your positive attitude and, and I know that you've been thinking about different names and everything for or putting together some kind of an advocacy. So you want to do a website. And I think that is really cool. So tell us a little bit about what your vision is for that so that we can kind of get an idea of what you want to do.

It's basically more about around the beautifulness. And being beautiful. Beyond your journey. It's so difficult rectal cancer is. It's gross, it's, it's, I mean, I don't know if I can say these words, the diarrhea and all these things that come with it. And then the running to the bathroom. I had seconds before stuff happened. And it's in greater saying, and it's rude. And it's, I can't go certain places because of timelines that if I have to go to the bathroom, I don't know, I know what's going to happen. But I don't want anybody else to know what's going to happen. And so I'm trying to do things around the butts for women. One in 20, phonies. Yes. Yes. One in 25 women get rectal cancer, one in seven women get breast cancer. Wow. So it's it is I mean, the numbers are close, but they're really not that close. And I'd like to, you know, I want to do support groups as well. Different different things, like there's so many things I have, like this huge list of things that I want to do. I actually just received a certificate to be a mentor with Imerman Angels, and they're in school, they're based in the USA. And that means that I will be able to get to speak with other it could be men or women that have rectal cancer and or breast cancer, but I'm trying to stay on the behalf of the rectal cancer. I'm just to be a mentor, it just, it's so it's, I don't know, it's really exciting

to me, I love that. And I love that you get a certificate of completion because you had shown me that and we might maybe we'll put a picture of that in the show notes. And, and one of the things that you're that you want to do is you want to you want to build a website, you want to have this support thing that you start and who knows, there's there's like the sky's the limit of how you can help other people and with your with everything that you've been through and your unique perspective on on what it's like to go through this as a woman especially but like you said, Men go through it too. I think it's I think it's really important that we put it out there that, hey, listeners, you've got some talents out there. I know I've got a lot of entrepreneurs, people who have some really interesting skill sets. And so one of the ways that they can get through through to you, is you because you don't have a website yet, but is your Instagram. And that's and I assume it probably won't change but if it ever changes, we'll change it but it's Tammy dot rater. 73 ra D Er, well, just like I don't know if you can see that in our in our final edit or not, but her name is Tammy ta m m y dot Reiter, Ra d r 73. So if you have any way that you feel like you could maybe help Tammy, get this thing going, your expertise would be awesome. So go ahead and contact her there. And we'll put some more information into the show notes so that, you know there can be some follow up and everything. And I just appreciate you so much sharing the story and the fact that you want to continue to share it and that you want to move forward. And I think you've got some really creative ideas. You're writing a book. And that's how I met you actually is the writing a book and Kelly Filardo who I think I've probably mentioned on this podcast maybe more than 1000 times who knows who is an amazing person herself is somebody that that we met through. And so I'm glad that you're doing that. And that's another thing, you know, any, any ideas that people have, they're welcome to contact you and start up a dialogue. So we're gonna need that information to do that. I love that. I have one final question for you. And then I'm gonna give you the last word after this. But but the question is, and I've kind of revised it recently, I've been asking people this in my podcast, but but especially I think the revision is perfect for who you are, especially and that is, if money were not an issue, how would you live out your legacy?

That is a very loaded question. First of all, I want to be an advocate for women with rectal cancer. There's so many things about breast cancer awareness, you know, fundraisers organizations, all this stuff, but I don't I haven't found a lot for the rectal cancer. I want to start a support group for family and friends of people that have cancer, and not just the rectal cancer in itself. But there are so many support groups, everything else. And there are support groups for the cancer patient. So just thinking of different things like my boyfriend, for instance, he didn't want to bother his friends and family about what I was going through. And so when people would call, they'd say, How am I doing? No one ever asked him how he was doing. And really no, there were, there were a lot of times and thoughts. We've had multiple discussions on. Okay, how are you doing? You know, and it's right. It's hard on the person that's standing beside the one with cancer. So I'd like to do something like that. My family was 3000 miles away from me, and they didn't have any support. And please don't Google is not comforting.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. And you said I want to write a book, I want to stand on stage and tell my story of strength and resilience and human attitude. Yeah, that's what got me through it. I just being a positive you know, having a positive attitude and a grateful attitude. Of I'm grateful I woke up I'm grateful that I can stand on my balcony and, and listen to the geese honking and watch the sunrises and such sunsets. Love it. Give me so much joy, right. Yeah. Yeah. I want to, I want to, honestly, I want to live in a slow world. We live. Everyone is so busy today. Interesting. You know, everyone is how do I say this work? Life is moving so fast. Everyone is is moving so fast. They got so many things on the go. They're so stressed out. Yep. I was working two different jobs. I was doing so many things going here going there saying yes. And yes. And never saying no. And having time for myself. And I just I want everybody to appreciate and learn to live in the moment. And, and appreciate the little things a smile, a hug the sunsets, you know, like, and so many things that we weren't able to do, especially for the last two years that just suck the joy in life, but of everyone you know, and yeah, I just I guess my legacy would be this is, I don't want to get emotional. I'm emotional about all this. But it's okay. Leaving people and places better than what I found them. That just kindness goes. So far. So emotional now. It just, it really hits you that when you go some go through something like this. That you don't know if you get another tomorrow, you don't know if you get to hug your family. You don't know if you just don't know. And

I'm sorry about tomorrow. No, actually, that is like such a perfect. That's actually, that is not only a perfect legacy. That's actually a really good final word is that we don't know about tomorrow. And so we've got to appreciate today and the simplicity of what makes life really worth living. And I love that you have shown up the way that you have today. There's more to talk about off the air after we're done here. But for now, I just want to say thank you so much for being so vulnerable, for sharing your story that is so incredible. And that I think will help an awful lot of people. So thank you, Tammy. I'm feeling we'll be talking again, probably here and in other places. So have a have a have a wonderful, wonderful day knowing that you have let the world know what's going on. I appreciate it so much.

Thank you so much for this opportunity.