Catching Up with Amy! | Amy Charbonneau

Deana Brown Mitchell: Hi, everybody, it's Deana at the Realize Foundation. And we are here with Amy today, Amy was an author in Book Three, for Scars to Stars. And again, you can find it on Amazon or Kindle. And you can find it Barnes and noble.com, and many other places. But her story was about her own suicide attempt and how our suicidal thoughts and ideation and how she overcame that. But today, I want to talk to her about what she's doing now and what she's been doing since the book came out. So welcome, Amy, I'm so glad to have you here.

Thank you, Deana, it's so fun to be here. And it's fun to just be part of a community of people who are survivors and thrivers, you know, and movers and shakers, really paving a path for other people to have the courage, you know, to share their own story, and take brave steps toward mental health and to know that there are things you can do to change your life, like you don't have to live in the same, your current reality does not have to be your future reality. And so I think I love that most about scars to stars and the impact that it's making, through I mean, how many authors have you had in three books.

Deana Brown Mitchell: We've had 54 chapters, and there are several, there are a handful of people who've written in either two or three books.

So 50 or so, you know, people sharing their story. And I think that is amazing, you know, because I don't, I mean, I don't personally know, really any other platforms that are gathering a community of people to share their story and inspire others, to take brave steps forward. So I think that's amazing. Dina, it's so thank you for being brave and courageous enough to start the real life foundation and to work so hard to get the message out, because it's hard. In this modern world where, you know, at our fingertips, we have access to global world of knowledge.

Deana Brown Mitchell: That's a really important, it's, I think there are a few other organizations that that talk about people telling their stories, but they're very different than what we're doing. And I think what's unique about us is the process we go through with the authors to write their story. And it's really about doing it as a group. And together as a community. It's not about hey, go write your story and turn it in, and we'll publish it for you. It's really about the community around that and how the relationships we build through that process. And also that we have a professional editor, publisher and book coach, that helps you understand the whole process and what is going to be the best outcome for you and how you're going to use your chapter in the future. Because at the end, you get a PDF of the book with just your chapter that you can do anything you want with. So some people use it for their business, some people use it just as a maybe, a lead magnet, that people can read their story, or it could just be something you share with people you think, need it, you know, and the amount of feedback we've gotten from people who have picked up one of our books is incredible, and how it has changed lives. Because really, the the basic, basic reason we're doing this is so people know, they're not alone, and that there is hope and whatever situation they're dealing with. And so that's what's so important to me is like if we can talk about all these life challenges, that get people to the place of suicidal ideation, and how we can help them before they get there. And that's really the purpose of everything we do. And so Amy, I just, I'm really happy that you shared your story. And I know that I know how much God has played a role and your journey. And I know that you're using that to help others in different ways other than scars to stars. And I just want to give you an opportunity to talk about that.

Yeah, I will say I had several people buying the book through me, you know, and I am sure several others that I know from posting bought the book on Amazon or somewhere else but one of my friends, senior, you know, and within an assisted living type situation, our community care center place and so anyhow, she bought it, she was I'm putting this in the library, you know, the facility where she was at, and I thought that's so amazing that after she read it, she wanted to share it, you know, make it accessible to other people, even in their old age that may still you know, get an opportunity to find I hope you know and live different. And I just think that was powerful. Because it doesn't matter if you're a teenager, middle aged or senior citizen, everyone is impacted in some way by negative mental health, pain or trauma, you know, and if you can find a connection with someone who overcame something similar to you, it gives you hope, at any age to make a change. And so I use my chapter as a lead magnet into something that I'm building called House of joy. And it's really a Leadership Development Academy. And I thought it would just be a simple membership, build the community, but now the passion of my heart is to help people be leaders in their own lives. And overcoming trauma from your past is a major catalyst to being an effective leader in your own life. You know, because we all lead someone, we have kids, family, friends, communities, and you lead someone, whether you realize it or not, you know, I can connect with someone in the grocery store, a total stranger. And I can lead them by planting hope, you know, in so really, I think the passion of what's coming out of my life is that sharing my story, but also empowering and equipping others. And I do that through a series of things. So I teach people how to have a devotional relationship with Jesus. And then I also help people get inner healing, you know, and working on that ministry, context with them to help them go to the roots of their pain and be healed, you know, by the perspective of Jesus and His truth and what he has to say about his love for us and who we are. And then also through other things, other means, you know, on the membership side is being built out right now, I hope to launch it. By fall, we'll see, because I want to get some other pieces of the structure in place, but it's coming along, and then getting more and more clarity, the more and more that I share and talk to people about it. But even this week, like I lead, I'm co leading a women's Bible study right now. And the theme is on rejection, you know, so the title of the book is leaping to love by have a Kennington is really good, but it's targeting just the way that we experience rejection from others and really primarily from our self, you know, we reject ourselves, how limiting that is to our own lives. And I shared a piece of my story in from what I wrote in your book, when I was suicidal that night, and how bad showed up for me. And it was interesting, because then in the discussion afterwards, a lady shared that she's no longer cutting herself, you know, and she still struggles with suicidal thoughts, and ways that she will go about that. But hearing my story helped her be brave enough to say that she's struggling, and to reach out for help. And so even just two days ago, you know, the fact that I am willing and comfortable to share. And I think that's really the call to anyone watching that has a story, if you will be brave enough to share your story through any means, you know, but writing it out in scar stars will be awesome. Because of the support that you're gonna get from Dina and from their editor and from the community of authors. It's a beautiful, it's a beautiful experience. And a way for you to get the encouragement, you need to tell your story. Especially if you've never told it before. I think that's the biggest thing for scars to start because I have a friend, another author in the group, it was her first time writing in a piece of her story in a public way. And it was really powerful for her. And so I know that if that's you and you're listening to this, and you come across this, check it out, you know, to be willing to say maybe sharing my story is another piece of my own healing. And it's an opportunity to connect, you know, with people who need to hear your perspective and how you overcame, you know, in so yeah, Dean, I don't know what else you might want me to share. But I have lots of ways I connect with the heart of people who Yeah, so yeah, I'm you want to take that?

Deana Brown Mitchell: I know the two of us could talk all day for sure. Well, no, I think what you said was beautiful. And I think it's, it's true people always and I say this probably on every video we make but if people say you know I'm gonna write my story to help others, and they don't realize the impact it's gonna have on them. And the especially with the community and the support they get through this process. So thank Stop bringing that up. Because it's, it's really impactful for the person involved as much as it is for the people who read their story. And we have hundreds of, you know, texts or Facebook messages or phone calls, that that have told us how much these books have changed their life or changed the life of someone they care about. And, you know, to see things at a different perspective, and just to know that someone else has been where you are, is huge. And I always say that, you know, the reason I didn't talk about my suicide attempt for 23 years, is because no one felt made me feel like it was okay. If I could have picked up one of those books and read any of those stories, I could have connected with somebody and had a conversation that would have let me know that it was okay to talk about. But I think this day and age, it's becoming easier for people to have these conversations than it was, you know, 30 years ago. And I'm just thankful for that. I'm thankful for the fact that we're open to have the conversations around mental health and suicide. And the other thing I like to say is that all of our stories aren't about to the side, a lot of them are about abuse, or addiction or other life challenges that we all go through. So if you're not, if you're like, Well, I'm not suicidal, I don't need that. It's more than just suicide, it's different things. It could be financial stress, we have chapters about that we have chapters about all kinds of things. So I think it's, they're just very helpful to people in different ways. And it's been really cool. So,

I think that it was interesting in this couple days ago, when I was sharing because I shared more within this private setting, you know about the addiction and abuse pieces of my life that led me to the moment of being suicidal. And one of the ladies there she was, isn't it interesting afterwards, how we meet someone where they are right now. And we make assumptions about their life, you know, someone that meets me today, they're gonna think, Oh, her life is perfect, nothing ever goes wrong, blah, blah, blah, you know, she's happy, she's joyful. She's never had to do anything hard. And the reality is, I've just overcome so much. And in that, in that freedom that I have gained, with my walk with the Lord, I live, I totally live from Peace, love and joy and undefendable people can't offend me, you know, at this stage, and I'm so free of myself, that I'm free of everyone else. I don't. I don't feel any kind of an impact when someone has a negative response to me. Or insults or anything. I mean, it's just a realization of the level of understanding we get when we have communion with our Father in heaven. And that is powerful in and of itself, you know, but it was a journey to get there. It didn't happen overnight for me. Now, I will say I've met people that it happened overnight for them. And I'm like, wow, like I didn't get that ticket, you know, but I think it's amazing whatever it is, whether it's an instant mind shift, and you have a brand new growth mindset and emotionally intelligent perspective, if you get that like that amazing write about it, because other people have that story too. You know, but if it's not your story, and it's a journey, write about it because it's me and other people are different places along that path you know, in a story that pops into my mind Dina's were talking is, like, the passions you have as a kid, you know, so when I was little I loved doing makeovers, like, I would dress my brothers up, which they hated and they still remind me of a tennis day. I wouldn't dress them up and make them play with me because I was the oldest is terrible. They probably have their own emotional trauma because of me what? It's what happened. You know, I didn't know any better. I just love doing makeovers. And I, you know, eventually left them alone and dinner with my friends, or whatever family would get together be like, can I curl your hair? Can I put makeup on you or you know, whatever. And then in high school, I took cosmetology my senior year, and ended up going into cosmetology and working in spas and doing makeovers on people and I was a massage therapist and I loved the environment of being able to help women feel beautiful on the outside. And because when they would sit in my chair, I'm beautifying the outside, but as they would talk, they're also getting to kind of be beautified on the inside. You know, because they could get things off their chest with me that they couldn't with someone else in their world. And then as I grew, you know, older and started doing Bible study, I found that my passion was helping people become beautiful on the inside. And so that childhood desire to do makeovers has really been the same theme through my whole life, it was external for a long time, and then it shifted, and it became internal. And there's a Bible verse about, you know, the beauty of a quiet, gentle spirit. And that's really just the internal peace that we have, is so beautiful and attractive, and helping people understand who they are that God have fearfully and wonderfully made, each and every person unique, you know, we're made individual with all this ability inside of us to inspire on wandering the earth. And I think that is so awesome, in the detriment to us is that we compare ourselves to one another far too much. You know, and instead of just embracing our own passions, dreams and stories, in our journey of living well, you know, in embracing that, and not comparing ourselves to anyone else's version. You know, I think if we can stop comparing, we would start to see people thrive in ways beyond our wildest dreams. And so that's my hope, Deana.

Deana Brown Mitchell: Beautiful. A, we you have such an such a contagious spirit. Yeah, I know. And I just, I also want to say, like, I grew up going to church, and I was involved in, you know, believed in God and all that. And as I got older, I got further and further away, like during my college, 20s, area error, right. And it was after my suicide attempt, that my dad sent me a letter with a little silver cross, it says, God loves you, or Jesus loves you, I don't remember the thing. It's like God loves you. And it made me start reading the Bible again. And I still had probably, you know, like, 10 more years before I ever experienced that personal relationship with Jesus that people talk about. But now, it's, it's like you said, it's like, nothing. My anxiety levels since then, have been almost nothing. Before that, for 35 years of my life, anxiety was a major problem. I didn't always understand it. But that's, you know, depression and anxiety will my life most most of the 35 years. And after I've finally got to the point where I understood what people were saying, when they said, I have this personal relationship with Jesus, I finally got it. And since then, the anxiety and depression have been so much different. And it's also, like you said, it's like your, you don't worry as much because you, you have this trust, that God has a bigger plan than we can imagine. And that he's in control, not us. And, you know, he writes about that in the Bible, like, we can plan all we want, that it's really up to him, What is going to come to fruition in our lives. And so it's, it's,

Well, I would say that He's sovereign, like he's seated in majesty above all royal power and authority there, but he gives us freedom, you know, we have free will to choose. And so he has a story that he's heard over our life, it doesn't always come to fruition, because we choose to partner with him, you know, and so what I what I find is we have all these religious things that we say, in church lingo, you know, in traditions of church, but they are always true, you know, and that's part of my journey after my suicidal night, was learning to study the Bible. And I was like, that's what it says, or that's what it means when I learned how to look it up in the original language, and be like, well, that's not what I was told, you know, and so then I became hungry for the Word because I'm like, what else am I believing? That's not true. You know, and they're just things that people do with good intentions, you know, but they're Miss truth, you know, which is life. And so we have all these false beliefs surrounding who God is and how he functions in our life. You know, and the beauty of what Jesus did after he died on the cross and He rose, he spent 40 days with the disciples, and in that at the end of the 40 days, they obviously didn't want him to leave. But he said, I have to leave so that the Comforter will come. And Jesus had to leave. So the Holy Spirit was live inside of this, you know, and we often just dismiss that, like, it's not real or it's untrue. Or it's so confusing, you know, and we don't connect. But when we connect with the fact that God loves us so much, that not only did he pay the penalty for our sin, you know, now he's given us himself. And we get to learn how to live and CO create with him in the earth, these lives. You know, and it's amazing when you can find a community of people that will help you really learn and understand that and figure out ways to talk to the Lord, but also to be quiet and listen, because he is chatty. People will be like, Oh, god, does it talk to me, like he talks to you. And I'm like, here's the deal. The Bible says, My sheep know my voice. So if you're a child of God, you have the opportunity to know His voice, that means he's speaking to you. You know, most of the time, we're just not listening. That was the story of my life. I wasn't listening. Or I would hear that to be that must not be for me, because it was way more than I was ready to receive at the time. And I think that God is speaking in so many ways to us all the time through people through a video you come across on YouTube, or a song through His Word, through church community, through a circumstance like suicide, you know, whatever it is, God will get our attention, if we're willing to say, who are you? And do you really love me, and he will show you all the ways that he is amazing, beyond our wildest dreams. And then he allows us with a love we can't even fathom, you know, and then he begins to take you on a journey of healing. And one of my favorite verses is Romans chapter 12, the whole verse, the whole chapter, really, but verse two, says that we're to be transformed by the renewing of our mind, you know, so when we change the way that we think, and we get the perspective of heaven, everything changes, you know, and so that verse became kind of a life verse for me, like seven years ago. And I was just like, show me what I don't understand about how I think, wrongly, you know, so that I could get good thinking. Because then when I'm thinking rightly, I see him rightly. And then I see me Riley, and then I see other people rightly, and it just become this natural thing, you know, you naturally just like people, you naturally like life, you naturally love. You love the mountains, you look at them, and you're laying on majesty of the mountains, you know, I go to the ocean, I'm like this amazing nurse secrets in there that people can't see, you know, and there's fish that we haven't even discovered yet. And there's beauty, you know, and in the mountains, there's beauty. You know, I may start to see, wow, there's something bigger than me. And I think that's the biggest thing that helps us walk through and overcome in the mental health journey is there's so much more to this world than me.

Deana Brown Mitchell: That is so true. Well, I think it's, I think, this conversation has been awesome. Maybe it will open someone's eyes to maybe something they had a false belief or arm, or, you know, haven't discovered that, that joy in faith like you and I have, and I think it's, it's definitely, there's no way I can explain why, like, why I am here, other than God saved me. Yeah.

Because he loves you and look what you're doing. You're helping other people encounter his lab. Yeah. That's why he saved you.

Deana Brown Mitchell: You're making me emotionally. But I do want to just say to anyone listening, like if, if this is something that you're like, I don't believe in that, or I don't understand that reach out to either one of us, we'd be happy to talk to you more about it. And also, if you're if you're wanting to learn more about our organization, or wanting to explore writing your story in one of our books, you can go to our website, it's realizefoundation.org You can find some resources there you can find, you know, we have a ton of these conversations on our YouTube channel. And we're on all social media. And you can go to the Scars to Stars page and you can find a video with Eric there who wrote in Book Three, talking about his experience and then you can fill out the form and, and just explore the option of what it would look like for you to join our community and write in one of our books. So I hope to see you There I hope to hear from you and Amy thank you so much for your time today and and having this conversation with me

Yeah thanks, Deana.

Deana Brown Mitchell: We'll see you guys around.