My Blurred Opinion | Timothy West

Hello, everybody, it's Deana at the realized Foundation. And today I'm here with TJ West. We're Timothy J. So welcome. And we're excited to talk about TJ story. It is a very unique and special story that I think will resonate with people who have disabilities or have things in our trauma, maybe that have has changed their life in some way. And I think he'll give you a lot of insight. He did. He gave me a lot of insight insight. Last time we talked. So I'm excited to have you here. And have you talk about your story, TJ.

Yeah, appreciate it. Thank you for the opportunity, as always.

Awesome. So we're going to, we're going to talk about TJ story that he wrote for our upcoming scars to stars book. And so I want to ask you a question. And that is, can you let everybody know, kind of what your chapter is about, and you can say, as much as you'd like?

Sure. So when I was approached with this, I, you know, didn't know exactly what I wanted to talk about. But it kind of because for a long time, I didn't really I wasn't as vocal about who I was, and what I've gone through because of shame and many things. And when I, when I was approached about this book, I was like, wow, it's a great idea, because one of the biggest things I am advocating for is mental health. And I've dealt with it for a long period of time, even when I didn't know exactly what it was. My story kind of primarily focuses on my disability, which is my condition, I'm legally blind from a condition called Steven Johnson Syndrome. And I talk about kind of the ebbs and flows of starting with a disability or just starting as a child, and then sort of coming to a disability. And then as time goes on through schooling, and, and the challenges that come with that, and just in life, what my disability and how it's affected me, and then how that correlates with the mental health. Because most people, I would say, most people in general have some sort of mental health, but disabilities, it's kind of like an added package when you automatically have a disability. And I just wanted to kind of get my voice out there. And another type of Avenue. And book form, I suppose, just to share, you know, what people with disabilities go through, and I'm just one story, I'm one of many, and even people with the same story as me, or same condition as me, excuse me, have a different story. But I'd like to just show how, what it's like to, you know, have very little vision and still be able to kind of navigate through life and make life work for you. Because, you know, the world isn't really made for people like me, but we find ways to survive and thrive and do wonderful things with it. And, yeah, and then just kind of maybe towards the end of the chapters about the podcast and how I got to that and how I've kind of found my voice, and why I do what I do. And you know, what kind of motivates me to try to help others and then inspire others.

Yeah, that's, that's great. Thank you for sharing. I was gonna ask you next about your podcast and to tell people, maybe how you got that started? And what kind of content is on there?

So yeah, I started it. Three years ago, almost a couple months from now, it'll be three years. And I started just to get my voice out there and to try to share who I am what it's like to have a disability. In the beginning, more specifically, my condition, or the visual impairment, and just mental health are the two things I really wanted to primarily focus on. And then I had a friend who died of heart failure. And I wanted to tell her story, and what she meant to me because she never got to tell it. And, you know, just tell the interviewer like my mother and grandmother, people that were close to my situation, and the times where I was so medicated and nearly dying, the parts that I couldn't tell. And then, I don't know along the way, I just I started to kind of search and do research on what the disability community is as a whole where it was where it is now and look at like similar content, like blogs, YouTube channels, podcast, and things like that. And I realized that it was kind of disorganized, and it wasn't really what I thought it was going to be. And I wanted to kind of do my part to try to bring us together in my own way. by, you know, finding those with different conditions, you know, I think can have similar conditions I've had people on with not only visual impairment, blindness, but Steven Johnson Syndrome, but just find people from different ways, walks of life, and try to show, you know, what, let them know what they go through, and how they overcome it. Because I'm really big on showing or revealing, you know, people who are like you, and as a person who felt alone for a long time, feeling alone is one of the worst things you could feel. And I want to try to be a good representation for people like me, whether it's disability, mental health, whatever a man, whatever I don't, you know, whatever someone you know, gravitates toward, however, I can help. And then if I can help you, maybe I can find somebody who's like you have the opposite sex or color or disability or some other trauma, like domestic violence and homelessness and things I've never experienced. Yeah, the goal is just to try to help people and just try to have a good conversation and have some fun, but also, you know, talk about some really taboo, dark, sad subjects, but also try to end it with some positivity.

Yes, I think that's wonderful. Another, we were talking, or maybe I was listening to one of your videos, and you were talking about how you may be interviewed or had friends that had dwarfism. Correct.

I have had two friends. Yes.

Okay. And the reason I bring that up is because, in my former business, when we did events, we did a conference for the Little People of America. And I learned so much from that group, about what they deal with, on a regular basis. And it made a lot of it was a lot of conversations around their needs for us to be able to plan stuff for them when they came to Denver, and it was, it was eye opening to me in so many ways. And I think it's just, you know, you, we never know what someone else is dealing with. And sometimes it's a visible thing, and sometimes it's not. And so it's, you know, like you said, we just want people to know they're not alone, and that there are people out here that are willing to have a conversation about anything.

Yeah, I think my favorite part about the show is that I go into a lot of these interviews, I don't know anything about these conditions. Just because I have a disability doesn't mean I know what it's like, because I'm so consumed with my own problems. So I like to learn myself, and so like dwarfism, like, I think the two I learned the most about is dwarfism and Tourette's because you we kind of focus on stereotypical things like with Tourette's, we focus on the people who just curse, but the reality of it is like, that's a very, that's like an anomaly. There's not many people that actually do that there is it's a, it's a form of Tourette's. But there's, there's so many different tics, and I have a friend Rebecca, Rebecca, excuse me, she, she's from England, and she literally will just start punching herself and she actually hurts herself. And she goes to like, and there's times where she will be enamored with something going, she sees a puddle in the middle of the street on a highway, she will run to that puddle, unless someone grabs her. And it's like, people don't understand the dangers, and all the things and just the tics, like if they snap their neck back, after a while, they actually do damage to their head, their back that neck. And then same thing with dwarfism. It's like, a lot of times, I mean, I've seen arguments where people made a case that they weren't even disabled, because they can see it here. But that's not the case at all, because you're not meant to be that small. And so they end up going through a lot of physical problems, especially like with bone structure issues, and, you know, born with all kinds of defects. And it just made me learn a lot about it. Because you know, and again, I wasn't, I wouldn't necessarily say I was ignorant too, because I'd never judged them. But I didn't know all these things. And it inspires me to keep going because I'm appreciative. I don't I don't compare like, oh, eyes to size or whatever. But I go wow, like, I'm grateful that I don't have that problem. And it makes me appreciate even like blind people, I make me appreciate that. I do have some sight. It makes me enjoy and appreciate life a little more, even though I do go through mental health issues where I do struggle, but in my days are a lot shorter with those issues now because I've gotten stronger and more equipped to battle these issues in life.

Well, I'm very glad to hear that. And yeah, when when we did that conference, we had a whole lot. We had rooms that were specifically for medical stuff for them to see certain doctors while they were at that conference and families who had similar problems would meet and talk about, you know, their, whatever it was that they had in common. So it was it was really, it was really incredible to see how they, how they function and how they live in a different way. And like you said, people see them and they look like normal people, and they function like normal people, but they're smaller. And people who just see them don't understand what all the problems that they they do have because of that, like you said, yeah, yeah. Sorry.

I know. And I just I like to get rid of the stereotypes too, because one of the things I was looking for it, I found someone finally as a female perspective of dwarfism, because when I was trying to find a female advocate, all that comes up is the sexualization is fetishizing of women. And because there's so few of them, I think she said, there's like only 68,000 or 64,000 people with dwarfism, that's in the world, that's not in America. So if that's the case, and then that's all you see, like, it really kind of devalues and everything that they're trying to accomplish, and to get her perspective was really nice, because that's not what she's doing. And she is, you know, a woman who's trying to be powerful and show strength, and that just sexualized, you know, the movement, like it has been for so long. So like I said, I'm big on finding representation, that's key for the subject matter that we're talking about.

Absolutely. I would like to, you know, partner with you ever we can to help get people help or get people the resources they need, you know, whatever, whatever that might be. And like you, I don't, you know, I know a lot about depression and anxiety and PTSD, and some other mental health things, but I don't necessarily know some of the things people struggle with, with different disabilities either. So, right, I would like to learn more to.

And honestly, like, it's been an argument for a long time, but I really believe mental health as a disability in itself. It's just because of how much it impacts you. Like, I know so many people that are actually paralyzed. And they'll tell you the thing that's more, the thing that paralyzes them the most is the mental health, where it's like, they don't want to ever get out of bed because they just want to cry, or they just want to sit in their mental filth, they don't want to move. They don't want to get to their chair, because it's such a struggle. They do it because they're stronger than that. But yeah, I know a lot of people who feel that it is a disability. And I'm kind of on that same feeling there. Because it is something that and some people have it worse than others. Some people it's a phase or it comes and goes. But for some some of us who have been through so much trauma and PTSD and anxiety and all these things, when it happens, it doesn't necessarily just go away. 100%. So I do believe it is a disability.

Well, I would agree with you on that. You know, even myself, I have those days, all the time that I don't want to get out of bed. And it's it's very. I'm a very driven person in many ways. And so like you said, you just do it because you need to, or you have to, but if if I were if I lived by myself, and I didn't have to work, that would be very bad for me. You know what I mean? Like, the fact that someone needs me to be on this call, and the fact that somebody needs me to show up at work. Kinda saves me from myself.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. And being around other strong people interacting with other people who has to think because I think some strong people tend to feel they always have to be strong. And, you know, I know there's a thing with guys where we have to have this bravado. But I don't, it's not just that. I've know many women that feel the same way where it's like, we feel like we have to be strong for everybody. And it's hard for us to show weakness and it's not that it's necessarily even shameful. It's just we feel like there's like a ricochet effect. If people see us weak. What is that going to do to someone else and it's not the case because it's okay to cry, it's okay to want to punch a pillow. It's okay to be angry and feel certain things because there's a lot of awful things going on. And there's a lot of awful things that some of us have had to deal with and overcome and are continuing to overcome. So for me, like I said, the podcasts and just meeting people like you and just everyone along the way. I tried to surround myself I always say like I like to have a clean bubble. And I try to you know, get rid of all the dirt and all the you know the muck that's within my bubble because I want clean air. I want to be able to breathe, I want to be able to have good people in my circle because I don't I don't need that and if I have good positive people that are There's some sort of benefit I get from it and that I can get, they certainly they can get from me, it really helps. That doesn't mean they all have to be best friends or lovers or whatever. It's just, if you have someone like for me, my big thing is I love to just text people and just say, Hey, are you okay? Because that means a lot to people like, like, for me where I come from, and all the people I know, that have real severe conditions and things. Because so many, so many of us even at our best, sometimes we just get down and we feel lonely, or we just feel like our disability is kind of, you know, kicking us in the butt. And as someone random or someone that you care about, is just like, Hey, you okay? It's just nice to know, someone is thinking about you.

Yeah, I understand that, for sure. Um, I want to ask you about your experience, being in this book and writing your story. And I know, we had we had a, we had a fun situation where we just talked and we gave it to the editor, and she put it together for us, which I'm excited to read again. But I'm wondering, like, Have you always been that open about your story throughout your life? Or was there a time when you started really speaking out more than you had before?

Oh, yeah, I'll answer all that one like, I mean, even the reason why we did it that way is like I've been going through so many different you know, I'm not complaining but I've just been going through so many different health like scares and up and downs with the eyes, just chronic pain and things and, you know, and then a mental health comes with and I sometimes I just check out because I'm just not interested in writing or doing anything, even the podcasts. That's why I do so many ahead. Because I know some there might be a day or two where I'm just like, you know, what are weak? I'm just like, I don't I want to do this, no matter how much I love it. I don't want to do it. And so, you know, you guys were able to kind of acquiesce me and what I needed and I was very grateful for that. As far as experience, yeah. No, it was great. I, I've, I guess I should answer your second part first to kind of get to that because No, I was not always like this. I've was not a leader at all. Like if I was in high school, and someone said, Hey, man, that new, you know, Eminem album is awful. Meanwhile, I would go Yeah, you're right. Meanwhile, it was on my iPod. It's just because I wanted to fit in I wanted friends because I was going I went through bullying so much I had so many people kick him throw things and spit on me. And I mean, legitimately. And I just wanted friends I wanted people to like me, and then eventually I kind of got decent at basketball. And you know, I had nice clothes and things. But it took a while. And you know the same thing with like, I didn't bathe or anything like it was a long time before I had to like actually start to try to want to be clean and to feel some sort of, you know, happiness and to take care of myself. And so I always was never a leader I never I just hid once I found out like the techniques in school because a lot of people thought, well, if you hide in the back of the class, no one will call on you. But that was always kind of like a misnomer. Because a lot of times you could be in front of a class, you just pick a corner, I always went like one of the four corners. And it just stayed there. And I just kind of avoided the teachers gaze and, and I never, I mean, I had good grades and everything. But I didn't want to talk. I didn't I was afraid of anyone judge anyone's judgment towards me. And so no, I never did until just a lot of discrimination until I started, you know, working at a place where they, you know, when I started to find my own individuality, because they hired other people with disabilities, I realized I went there and I was I was not TJ I was that group of people. We weren't different. They couldn't differentiate from us, we were the same person. And I had already had worked on myself and to try to get myself out of this mental fog. And to be a better person and to try to, you know, grab myself from the depths of hell mentally. And then now I'm in this place where they're like, Well, no, you're you're just like them. And it's like, I am like them in one way. But that's it. Everything else is totally different. And I had to realize, like, I need to take some leadership I have to, I have to show why I'm different and not in a way by putting them down. But show no, I'm different. Like I am me. I didn't fight for this for however many years at that point. I this is I didn't do that for nothing. So no. So then the podcast came out of that. Some years later, and I just started to like, realize that I needed to share my message. And in the beginning when I started to share some of the things that I put in the book. It was really like frustrating and I'm gonna say it was very sad and like because I had to kind of relive it. And I actually had to tell more than just like one person and I'm putting it out to the world and I have to live with that. And so it really mentally drained me. But it was all good, because now you can ask me the same things, or I could share those same things. And it's fine. It just rolls right off the tongue. And it's like, yeah, because I know it can help people and being as honest and transparent as I can to help that one person out there who feels alone is all like, that's all that really matters. And as far as the experience of the book, like, yeah, like it, it was really nice to do it. And it was nice to find I, I'm always looking for other ways to get myself out there. And just to tell my story, and they're trying to help people out where I can. So all that correlates through the podcast to that. So that was a very comfortable situation, because of I was already at that point content with my story and who I am.

Yes, thank you for sharing that. I can relate to that. Because you when you've, when I first started sharing some of my experiences, it was, I couldn't get through a sentence without crying. I'm being emotional. And then you get to a point where you can talk about it without being emotional, because the more you talk about it, or write about it, or share, it helps you heal. And then we can be in a better place and use it for good. And I think I think you're right about that. I agree.

Yeah, that's what, that's what some people talk about. And the disability community is just like, what is our superpower. And something I've been trying to figure out, I've started to realize, like mine, because it's irony in a way, because I always say I'm a very visual person. And I noticed a lot of people who don't have much going on in their life or don't have much problems in their life, the people who have the most sight, tend to be the most blind. And the people who are the most blind visually see so much more. So the like, so the likelihood of me being biased towards political views or anything or whatever, I am so open minded, and, um, well, I can see a lot of things that are in front of most people, that's obvious to me. But to most people, it's like, I can't see that. Whereas visually, you know, and literally, most people who can see can see some things that are blurry to me, but are things that, you know, if you know, nothing I can do about it, I can't fix that. But where I'm trying to, but we'll see what happens in the future. But so that's kind of been like the my kind of develop, like, I'm starting to realize that's kind of my superpower that I can see some things like I pick up on things really quickly. And a lot of people it takes them months to figure it out. I'll take what I can get, I suppose any advantages?

Yeah, that's what, that's what some people talk about. And the disability community is just like, what is our superpower. And something I've been trying to figure out, I've started to realize, like mine, because it's irony in a way, because I always say I'm a very visual person. And I noticed a lot of people who don't have much going on in their life or don't have much problems in their life, the people who have the most sight, tend to be the most blind. And the people who are the most blind visually see so much more. So the like, so the likelihood of me being biased towards political views or anything or whatever, I am so open minded, and, um, well, I can see a lot of things that are in front of most people, that's obvious to me. But to most people, it's like, I can't see that. Whereas visually, you know, and literally, most people who can see can see some things that are blurry to me, but are things that, you know, if you know, nothing I can do about it, I can't fix that. But where I'm trying to, but we'll see what happens in the future. But so that's kind of been like the my kind of develop, like, I'm starting to realize that's kind of my superpower that I can see some things like I pick up on things really quickly. And a lot of people it takes them months to figure it out. I'll take what I can get, I suppose any advantages?

I can, I can see that in you just from our couple conversations, because you are very quick to answer or give information like you're a smart guy. Appreciate it, thank you. So I put the, the link at the bottom of the screen is the link to pod bean where you can find today's podcast, and listen to it on your platform of choice. And I hope you all go there and and listen and find two things that are inspirational. And then I also be fine, you will think about getting our new book that's coming out in September. And it will be you can find all information at the realized foundation.org. And you can also apply there to tell your story, if you're interested in writing and one of our books, and we also do virtual events, and we have book launch events. And so we hope to see you at one of those. And I'll just ask you, TJ Do you have any last words for the audience?