The Magic That Happens Beyond Survivorhood | Vanessa Jade

Hello, everybody, it's Deana and I'm back here today with Vanessa Jade, and super excited to hear what her chapter is about, for our Scars to Stars book launch. So, Vanessa, can you tell us a little bit about your story?

Yes, I would love to. So the title of my chapter is the magic that lies the on Survivor hood. And the chapter it tells the story of my own recovery and healing journey from years and years of child sex trafficking and ritual abuse that I lived through, you know, until I left home at 18. So it is, and in telling a little bit about that story, I'm not sharing any of the, you know, the gruesome details or anything at all about that, it's more to understand, you know, how I developed how I survived that really, which, you know, we all develop coping mechanisms to survive traumatic experiences that work at that time, but then, you know, as we move into adult life, they can become detrimental, and really what it took for me to face my childhood and, you know, really start my healing journey. And then really, the, the message that I want to convey in my chapter is that whatever we've lived through, you know, and I don't think there's a human who has not lived through some kind of challenge, or trauma, that, you know, when we, wh en we find the courage to really heal, and really get support and do that, that hard work. You know, on the other side, when we get through that, and we, we stand up in our strength and our courage around what's happened to us, that we can discover, actually, there was some sort of bigger purpose to it. And that there are certain gifts and virtues that we developed by living through what might have been horrific, but you know, that they are the inside of us, we then discover these gifts that we have to share. And so that's, you know, that's what I do in the world, I help people on that journey. And so I'm really passionate about helping people to be empowered, you know, once they've got through their healing journey, that really, they they have a lot to share and a lot to bring to others

That this is so true. And so well said. And I think that all of our chapters, kind of do that in a very different way. Because all of our experiences have been very different. But it's kind of the same outcome, because we've all learned to heal, and use those scars, to help others find their way, or to help us succeed in finding our purpose in life, you know, all those things. So very well said,

Yeah. And I think that, you know, most of us, you know, we want to make a difference in the world, or we want to stand up against what happened to us. And when we tried to do that, sort of from an unhealed place, it's not that effective, you know, because we don't have a lot of power in that place. And so, you know, when we find that courage to move through the journey of healing, we can we can have that power to really make an impact. And that's, yeah, that's, that's what I'm hearing from all the other participants in this project. That's what everyone is doing. And it's really amazing.

Yeah, so excited. When I met you, Vanessa, I was probably in the unhealed place that you're talking about when I was trying to talk about what I'm doing, but it wasn't going so well. And so it's taken me almost two years to get to this place. And it is very different. And it's really hard to explain to someone who has not gone through that journey. So when you are, you know, after 23 years of silence me talking about something that was so hard, it's like, you have to do it for a while to get there. So sometimes you have to be patient with yourself and your journey. Oh, yeah, that place?

Absolutely, Deana. Yeah. I mean, there's no, you know, expectation or timeframe on this. And, I mean, I know that the healing journey, it's, it's hard. It's tough. And you know, there are times when it doesn't feel doable even but I hope that you know, what I share in my chapter is going to be an inspiration to people to keep going and to have compassion and love for themselves and to learn to really be proud of what they've lived through. You know, because that's, that's the energy when you when you get in touch with that, that you can share powerfully and make an impact.

So true. Thank you for sharing that. I don't think we've talked about have that specific thing on any of these interviews? So that's really powerful. The other question I want to ask you is, what is your experience been in writing this chapter and in this project with the other people involved?

Yeah, thank you. I, first of all, you know, I want to acknowledge you and the amazing energy that you brought to this project, I don't feel like I've ever been part of something that's been so harmonious and inclusive, and you've just held such a very loving and encouraging space for everybody. And that's really, really special. I feel like it's lifted each of us up, you know, to do what the best that we can. So yeah, well, heartfelt thanks for that. And, as you say, I mean, that the group that we each have such different stories to share, don't we, and it's been really wonderful to connect, you know, we have had a few zoom calls and to connect with these other people and hear their stories and, you know, to support each other, lift each other up. And then I think, for me, personally, I've, I've spoken about my story, a fair amount. But I haven't really written and shared, I've written for myself, but I haven't, you know, put it out. And it feels, you know, in some ways, more permanent more, there's something more significant about the written word than the spoken word, way. And I feel like it, it for me it it was pushing me to sort of really be precise with what I wanted to share and how and, and it was emotional, you know, it brings up emotions, doesn't it to to go through that process. And so, to just go through that for myself, and then it actually really helped me to hone in on what I do, actually, how I want to share, you know, the stars, parts of the journey. And I'm what my my messages are. So it was a really valuable experience. And definitely, you know, I feel empowered by it. Absolutely. I think it's a really important part of our journey, isn't it at some point to have a way to share our story?

Yes, that is, is very much. And I was I was just sharing with Vanessa, that, since I created the realized Foundation, we've had a way for people to go on on our website and share their story with us. And we have a new board in place. And we are working on how what we're going to how we're going to expand that a little bit because of how healing this experience has been for the people involved. And if you don't know, all of the proceeds from this book are gonna go to the realize Foundation. And what that is, is all about suicide prevention. But in a very different way. It's more about conversation and community through personal story and how we can connect have human connections and human support in our lives that can help us overcome these things. I just feel like there's 1000s of organizations that have been trying to prevent suicide for decades. And although they do great work, it's not reducing the statistics. They keep growing, and we have to do something different. And so this is this is what I've been trying to do for a couple years to see how we can save lives and help people that are in a bad place. And if those of you who don't know me, I have been there. I survived an attempt in 97. And I didn't talk about it for a really long time. So it's it's a very personal thing for me and it is my life's mission. Now I close my former business and this is all I'm focusing on. So we're excited to have this conversation with you today, Vanessa.