3 Lies We Tell Ourselves About Confidence- Ep:065

Welcome to she coaches coaches. I'm your host, Kandi motsek. And I'm going to help you find the clarity, confidence and courage to become the coach that you are meant to be. If you're a new coach, or if you've always wanted to be a life coach, then this is the place for you. We're going to talk all about mindset and strategies and how to, because step by step only works when you have the clarity, courage and confidence to take action. Let's get started.

Hey, there, I'm so glad you guys are here. Welcome to this episode of she coaches coaches. Today, we're gonna dive right in and talk about three big lies, we tell ourselves about confidence. When we believe these lies, we set ourselves up for failure. So we need to talk about them. Because when you know, you'll know that you can work to avoid them. And then you can move forward more powerfully. Hey, if you're here, yay, welcome. I just started this little mini series about confidence. Now if you miss that first episode in the series, be sure to go back and listen to it. Once you're done with this one. We talked about how the saying fake it till you make it doesn't actually help you feel more confident. It also doesn't allow you to show up as you plus, I gave you another thought to use instead. This week, I wanted to share this powerful thought with you. I wanted to do it to encourage you and remind you that you are far more capable than you know. So take that in for a minute. You are far more capable than you know. When you get stuck or filled with self doubt, use this thought to your advantage. Help shift your emotions, from self doubt to empowered or from stuck to clarity. If you like these kinds of powerful thoughts, then you better sign up for my free coaches Online Business Academy. It's the vault where I store all kinds of amazing resources to help you in there, I've added something new, I've created free screensavers. There's some graphics that I created in Canva. And you can use them for your phone's homescreen. It's a super, super helpful way to remind yourself of those powerful thoughts. So you can think better. And when you do, you will feel better, more confident. And you will find that it is way easier to be effective. And execute the next steps in your plan with the link to sign up in the show notes. Then you can download those screensavers and add them to your phone. They're waiting for you right now. So today, the three lies we tell ourselves about confidence. The first one I call one day wishful thinking. There's a story that we tell ourselves, that there's going to come a day when we will feel fearless and 100% Confident forever and ever. It's kind of a fairy tale and not a very helpful one. We aspire and wish to reach that peak of confidence and to never feel self doubt, or be down in the valley of overwhelm again, when we think this one day will arrive magically someday in the future, then we don't have to do anything today. We wait for the perfect moment. And somehow we think this moment will magically happen to us. You see this? We think it will happen to us. Instead of believing that we are in charge of making the moment. This one day thinking also has us believing that once we feel confident, we're going to always feel confident.

Now when we really peel it back and look at this, you see the lie for what it is. It says that we will reach that peak and stay there forevermore. But you know this isn't true. Remember the last promotion you got? You felt nervous, anxious, excited like a newbie. Then you grew. You took some risks. You used your courage grew your capability. And eventually you realized you felt confident until the next promotion came along, or the next stretch assignment arrived. Maybe it was a public speaking opportunity, or the time you needed to have an uncomfortable conversation. You see what I mean? You were confident, and then you weren't. Now, now that you realize this, I want you to know, nothing has gone wrong here. It is completely normal for confidence to rise and fall. And that's what happens with these lies that we, we believe. So often, we say them, and we don't really take them apart and think about them. But just in this couple of minutes, I'm hoping that you've got a different view on this one day thinking, do you remember now, we don't get confident and stay there forever, it doesn't work that way. In a couple of episodes, I'm going to share with you my five c confidence formula. And this is going to give you the step by step exact approach that you can take to create confidence on demand. So you're not waiting around for it to magically show up. Yes, instead of waiting for that day, you can start to create it right now. The second lie, we spend our lives waiting for the right time. We wait to feel better, more confident before we begin. But you know, it's not helpful. When we wait for the feeling before we start, it may actually never happen. So we wait. And we wait. And we wait some more. We tell ourselves that this feeling of discomfort is wrong. And that somehow we're wrong when we feel it too. Maybe we tell ourselves we're not quite ready yet. Not until we feel confident not until we feel prepared. And so we delay and delay and delay. It's our biologies way of trying to keep us safe, it thinks that this new thing is a risk. And risk means danger. The danger might be that we won't fit in, or they will make a mistake and look silly. And guess what, if this is something new, you're not going to be great at the start, you're sure as heck not going to be perfect. So this lie encourage us to wait for the feeling of confidence before we take action. But confidence is a feeling. It's an emotion, and we create our feelings by shifting our thoughts. We don't create confidence by action. We create confidence by thinking thoughts that promote the feeling. And then we take the action. And then we practice and practice and practice. And eventually the confidence becomes more embedded. Every single thought generates a feeling. And remember, you are far more capable than you know.