Candy Motzek on Finding Your Coaching Path: Nurturing Confidence and Creating Impact - Ep.151

Welcome to she coaches, coaches. I'm your host, Candy Motzek. And I'm going to help you find the clarity, confidence and courage to become the coach that you were meant to be. If you're a new coach, or if you've always wanted to be a life coach, then this is the place for you. We're going to talk all about mindset and strategies and how to because step by step only works when you have the clarity, courage and confidence to take action. Let's get started.

Well, I am here with Candy otsek host of she coaches coaches for another exciting conversation of what it means to be a coach these days. And one of the practical skills candy can support those people with through their journey of developing a blissful, prospering practice, Kandi, thank you so much for being here.

Oh, thanks for having me. It's just great to talk to you.

I love talking to you. So let's dive in with what are the specific challenges coaches are facing these days as far as self belief and overcoming their own barriers in order to support others?

Oh, boy, I think that that really covers it. Like, yes, there's a whole bunch of technological stuff that's on the go. And yes, that's a challenge. But it's also a bit of an excuse to hide behind our fears. Right. So the real challenge is always that Do you have enough desire? Do you have enough passion to do something like this? Or are you so scared that you can't step forward? And so it's this deciding, like, you know, there's that story of the two wolves, right, that you've got tools in your life? And you get to choose which one you feed? Do you want to choose the one that's fear and lock and worry? Or do you want to choose to feed the one that is that, wolf that is your higher self and that higher purpose for your life, so we get to choose. So no matter what's going on in the world, whether it's COVID, whether it's an economic downturn, whether it's AI, the biggest thing that we have to overcome is ourselves, you know, we listen to our own voice, and decide if that desire and if that mission is strong enough, today, and then we get to decide tomorrow, and the next day in the next day and the next day.

And so when somebody's dealing with these on their personal lives, and then they turn around, they're supporting others, how do you address the imposter syndrome with them?

Imposter syndrome is a good sign. That's, that's the it's the sign that you're still growing every time you come up on that place where you wonder, can I do this? Am I a fake? Will they find out that I'm really a fraud? It is. It's just that sign that you're moving in the right direction? And so how can you take that voice? And actually, you know, kind of, it's kind of like a little child, you know, sort of bring it in close to like, Yeah, I hear you. You know, yeah, I hear that you're nervous about this. And that you're trying to slow yourself down. You're trying to protect yourself. So

what a great reframe. So instead of looking at it as a fake looking at it as Oh, I'm dealing with these things, to what skills am I employing? How can I help others do the same?

Yeah. And I think that, you know, like, for coaches, this is the place where we get to practice really deep compassion. You know, we're easy to practice compassion for our clients, right? Like we see them in their wholeness. We see what they could become. But we also forget that we get to practice that compassion for ourselves.

That's so important. Yeah. Wow. I have a philosophy that we are supporting people through things that we are also supporting ourselves through. What comes up for our clients is something that's also coming up for us. Have you seen this in your practice

every day? The short answer the long answer every day, every minute, sometimes, right? Yeah.

Clients are a mere reflection of us. Totally. Tell me transformation story of a client you've supported through this journey.

Hmm, yeah. So just the most recent one, I've had a long standing client, we, oftentimes when I'm working with clients, we work weekly. So I see them every single week when we're going through that sort of the next stage of their journey. She and I had worked together years ago, and then she kept sort of reaching out every once in a while saying, oh, things are kind of stressful. I'd like some help. But then finally, back early in February, she sent me this email, and she just said, my life is a mess. It looks great on the outside. She said top salesperson, you would never know that she was having a hard time. And she explained how she was crying every day that she didn't have anybody to lean on and that everybody leaned on her. And her stress level was like through the roof. She had major stomach issues. Use, couldn't sleep couldn't function. And so to listen to her than and to get on that very first call with her, you know, just, I feel for somebody having such a tough time. But the cool thing is that we work together over a series of weeks. And just yesterday, no day before yesterday, we had this conversation and I looked at her and I said, look at you look at you. And I pulled out that old email, and I read it to her. And she was like, Oh, my God, I can hardly believe that. That was me. But that's the power of coaching. It's not the power of the coach. It's the coaching itself, that sort of allowed her to go back to who she was. And so I said, Who are you becoming? And she was like, she kind of looked at me as sort of like, kind of had that face for a while, which is a great coaching face. But then she said, I'm becoming me. I have reclaimed myself. And I mean, like, Wow, just wow.

Absolutely. Yeah. Obviously, to get there, you having to overcome some mindset blocks? How do you support people in overcoming those blocks?

So it's always the first step is always awareness. What am I actually thinking? What do I believe about myself? How do I judge others? How am I judging myself? Once we start to be more aware, then you can start to use the tools. I love to encourage people to journal I've got specific journaling exercises that they can do, the simpler, the better. But so much of it is just having that courage to put pen on paper, people are often really scared to see what's in their head out written like, it's like, it makes it really real. But that's also the place where it gives them the power. So that's that's always the start.

I agree once something is out of my head. Yeah, I can move on to the next thing. Exactly. Pen and paper is so therapeutic. Yeah, yeah. Amazing. Now, the coaches you're with are finding that their unique genius is a niche for them to focus in, how are you helping people get specific on what their niche is, and their unique skill set?

Yeah. And so the topic of niches a real big deal with new coaches, they get really tangled in a knot, like they want to find that perfect niche. And they think that there's only one. And what they don't remember is that they've got countless niches. So one of the easiest ways that I have found is to allow them to go on their own hero's journey, where they really write the high points and the low points of their life, they see the things that they've overcome. And each one of those places that they've overcome, that's that former version of themselves. And those are the people that that there are many of those people in the world right now. And that is one of their perfect niches. So as you're going through your own storyline, and what you know what you've overcome in your life, and you go oh, like in my case, oh, I overcame burnout. I could be a burnout coach. Oh, I've had impostor syndrome, I can be an impostor syndrome coach, blah, blah, blah, right? So all these things, and then you just look at the list. And you have to start with the list and then say, Okay, which one of these are wounds that are still not healed? Which one of these are still a little bit raw? That's not my niche right now, I might get there. But that's not now. So you go back, you, you know, narrow it down. And then it's a matter of decide, you know, so once we've decided, hey, I've got these five things, that could be my niche, then we have to decide and commit, and decide and commit and stay with it, and not stay in this place of always being indecisive and choosing.

So I'm a new coach, I'm figuring out my niche. What are you telling me as the first step as far as building my practice and towards the path of success in that journey?

Yeah. And so the first step is actually not the niche, the first step for a new coaches to get coaching. And so I have a little technique is that I call the five by five. And I encourage new coaches to get started, they find five people, they coach them for five sessions each for free. Once you've done 25 hours of coaching, and you've taken five clients through any kind of a journey, you start to really feel like a coach. And it's a little bit sometimes it's received a little bit like you want me to coach for 25 hours for free. And I'm like, yeah, it's not for free. It's actually an investment. They're investing their time and energy in you, and you're investing your time and energy in them and listening to every one of those coaching conversations. You take that with your niche knowledge, and now you've created your first program. You know what you're talented in, you know what your skill sets like. And now you've actually watched real people talk to you about what's going on in their life. So you're getting immense value

from that time. Proof of concept. Yeah, yeah. callings conversation. Yeah, exactly. And then on the flip side of that, what about coaches getting coaches for themselves?

Yes, that's an always. Yeah, we can't sell coaching if we don't believe in it enough to purchase it for ourselves. And that coaching can be an individual coach, it can also be being part of a mastermind or a peer group, it can also be making sure that you're doing your own self coaching, again, through your journaling. Or even better, all three.

I love it. Let's talk about your podcast for a second. Okay, she coaches coaches, you're giving the foundational supports for getting going? What is your favorite conversations that you've had on your show? Hmm.

Yeah. So to spring to mind, one was a guest that I spoke with not that long ago. And he has publicist, I don't know, media person had reached out and said, hey, we'd like, you know, to do an interview swap. And I was like, I looked at his picture. And he was obviously very tall and very fit and very Alpha looking. And I was like, Okay, and so I agreed. And then we got on Zoom to do this interview. And yes, on the outside, he looked like that. But it just taught me such a great lesson about we never really know what a person is like, he was such a heart centered guy, he had so much wisdom. And he showed up so fully, so fully present and so vulnerable, blew me away, you know, so that is one. And then another is probably one of the very first interviews that I ever did was a client that I had. And she lived in, oh, gosh, Bosnia. And so to talk to her, about her coaching journey, and how she had gone from being corporate, she was in banking, Corporate Banking person, to her love of coaching. But even more importantly, was that she remembered to love herself. And I was like, Ah, so best of both worlds, you get to be a coach and improve your relationship with yourself. So that was awesome.

And find somebody who can love themselves. Yeah, right. It's yours. Everyone around. Yeah, absolutely. What are you most excited for coming up on your show? News, big, exciting plans.

Any big exciting plans, not specifically with this show, but I'm super excited about my new private podcast that I've released. Yeah, tell us why it's called unlock coaching success. And so it is seven episodes, 10 minutes or less. It's a little bit raw, a little bit natural. I just turned on the mic. And I recorded step by step through my create framework that I guide coaches through. And I'm excited about that, because it's that it's a more of a real conversation, I imagine that it's me really talking to them. And I am just hoping that there's going to be lots and lots of people that sign up, listen, get the benefit of it. And even if they never come into my circle, just the fact that they've learned something and they apply that to becoming the coach they want to be, it'll be

great. And that's a private podcast. How do they access that? Ah,

you can get it through the URL Candy's free gift.com You just sign up, and it downloads right to your podcast player. And there you go.

Full of insights. Yeah. Beautiful. Alright, can do one final question. What is something that you wish you knew when you started coaching that you want all new coaches to know?

Don't wait, just don't wait. I wanted to be a coach for years. And I kept looking at the training and then pulling back. And that would be the one thing if you're drawn to it, it means it's meant for you and just don't wait, just get started.

Amazing. Drawing advice. Thank you, candy.