Conscious Leadership and High Performance Health with Leif Meneke-Ep:145

Hey welcome to she coaches coaches, I'm your host, Candy Motzek. And I'm going to help you find the clarity, confidence and courage to become the coach that you are meant to be. If you're a new coach, or if you've always wanted to be a life coach, then this is the place for you. We're going to talk all about mindset and strategies and how to because step by step only works when you have the clarity, courage and confidence to take action. Let's get started. Hi, and welcome to this week's episode, I have a special guest with me today, his name is Leif Meneke. Now let me tell you a little bit about him. He guides conscious leaders to supercharge performance and have a greater impact in their businesses. And in the world by optimizing health. His signature program is the high performance health accelerator, a six month head to toe bedroom to board health and performance reset. So to find out more about him, we're going to have a conversation. And then at the end, he'll share a way that you can find out more about his world and how to get in touch with them. Leif Welcome to the show.

Thank you candy happy to be here.

So let's dive in. Could you share part of your story?

Sure. So I find the best you know, the best place to start is is actually one of my one of my low points in life. So back in 2009, I was that guy, right? I was I was that guy who had the outward appearance of success, but inwardly I was suffering. So I had the job on Wall Street. I had the apartment in Brooklyn Heights, the relationship, I had a summer share on Fire Island. And it seemed like my career was going up. And I my job on Wall Street was I taught leaders at the highest levels of organizations, how to be better leaders. The truth was that I couldn't lead myself, I was impulsive. I made rash decisions. I had issues, you know, I had issues that that I was unable to resolve. And I really suffered from the traumas and dramas of my past. How that ultimately manifested was in my health, and I ended up just getting so sick that I had to leave my job on Wall Street to focus solely on my health. And I call that my health bankruptcy. These were dark, challenging days where you know, I just seeing specialist after specialist and doctor after doctor therapist after therapist. And there came a point where I was given a medication that was meant to cure my most pressing life threatening illness. That medication had rather severe side effects. And it nearly cost me my eyesight. And I remember walking into my op ophthalmologists office and he said you need to come off the medication. And I just I stammered like but this is my only hope of a cure. It was the only medication that was that was available at the time. And he said, Well, you're coming off the medication today. And that was devastating to me because it felt like the end of a road and my doctors at the time told me you've reached the limits of Western medicine. There's nothing more we can do for you. Why don't you go pray? I thought go pray like what a betrayal and because I believed I was an addict. I did what addicts do and I went out and use drugs and if you've ever been caught in that cycle, you know there's a point where that stops working. And when that stopped working, I pulled the covers up over my head and I just you know wanted to die. And in fact I you know there came a point where where I where I decided like this is not worth it. I'm done. I'm done here. And I gathered up all hell I was in my home and sat there on my couch watching New York one news that day and dragged down his bottle of pills one bizarre event led to another and a, an ex of mine had a set of keys and somehow found out that I was in trouble and, and I ended up in the hospital the next day and, and it took a couple of days for me to get clear. But I remember, you know, being in the hospital gown with that white patient band around my wrist and just looking down at this band. And it reminded me of a surrender flag. And I thought, wow, and I just kept repeating to myself, I surrender, I surrender, I surrender. And I realized when I was in the hospital, it wasn't that I wanted to die, I didn't want to die. I just no longer wanted to be that guy. That guy who was suffering, you know, just so deeply inside. And so I got out of the hospital, and the first thing that I did, and if you've ever been in the hospital, you know, the food is a challenge. So the first thing that I did is I went and got a hamburger. And as I'm sitting there, eating this hamburger, and just reflecting upon what happened, I, I realized, okay, if I no longer want to be that guy, then I want to be somebody else. And you know, what, if, if I'm, if I'm on, if I'm going to die, then I may as well go out and live whatever life I had left. And so I made a decision, right then in there, boom, I'm going to change my life. And those moments is bad experience is why I am so passionate about my work, because I know so many of us live, feeling trapped, you know, suffering in silence, sometimes not so silently. And that experience is just, it's why I'm so passionate about the work that I do.

So let's, you know, there's a couple of things in your story there that really touched me. And the, you know, the visual that you've painted of the surrender flag, which parallels so nicely with what seemed like a betrayal advice from the medical profession to go and pray, which we now know is, you know, the science has been done on it. And there is such a strong correlation between prayer and spirituality and our belief system and our ability to heal. So even though it felt like a betrayal, in hindsight, it was like, there was a, that was a thread, a golden thread available to you. And the other part that seems so strong to me, is that so many people have felt, maybe not that level of despair. But certainly an aspect of that despair of I'm successful in my life. And I am so deeply unhappy. And this is just not working. And a lot of those people are coaches, and they know that place. I've got my own past story where I remember that. Yep. Every Sunday, I used to cry getting ready. Because Monday was coming. And I was all successful on the outside. But it was like I was leaking all day long on Sunday. Right. And that's so long ago now. But there's a lot of people that are called to be a coach, and to serve and their journey in their healing journey is really part of first the impetus that drove them down the path, but also their solution that they help people with. And I believe that that's part of your story, too, is that now you have you've taken what you've learned, and you help people heal themselves. So Leif that is so much of your story. Even though it is your individual story. There are, you know, facets of it that many coaches can identify with. And now that you're at this part of your journey, where optimization of health, Mind, Body Spirit health is so much a part of what you do. What lessons do you have or what tips could you give new coaches who are starting out to maintain and maintain their health and also what to watch out for? Like, what are some signals that they could watch out for?

Yeah, so So

for me, so much of health is about the basics, right? It's the basics of, of health of self care. So, you know, sleep and nutrition and movement and time with friends and community. And time in nature is a huge one for me. Making sure that we're shutting off, right, and that we're not just solely focused on work. So there's that, the, the fundamentals of it. I'm a big believer in my morning, in morning practices, right? In that practice, that sets me up correctly, and I and I do the same thing. You know, from the time that I wake up to the time that I, you know, have breakfast like that is a, there's a string of things that happens. And for me, one of those activities is my morning hike. And I live at the base of the Rocky Mountains. And so I spent about an hour or so hiking through nature, and that allows me to clear my head and come into my body and get movement. And it also, you know, it's great exercise for my dog. It's, you know, two birds one stone. But my morning walk is the cornerstone of my morning practice, and it just sets me up correctly. And, and I guard that morning practice, like my life depends on it, because it, it does, it's, it's the foundation. I've also learned, and I love this notion of corners, you know, having cornerstones in your, in your practices, and I don't, this is not my idea this came from from someone else. And I wish I could tell you who it was. But the other cornerstone that I've made are little rituals that I have throughout the day. So when I arrive at my desk, I smudge I saved myself off. I do that between clients, I feel that that is very important between particularly if you're working with a lot of people to just smudge reset the energy every time that we that we, you know, transition from client to client. I've set aside two days a week where I write because that's important to me to share my wisdom to share what I know with the world, that's that's one of one of the one of the important things that I'm that I'm that I'm doing out there in the world. So I, I'd suggest you know, focus on the basics, get the basics down to self care. We as coaches cannot serve other people if we are not taking care of ourselves if we are not giving, giving, giving care to ourselves. So focus on the basics, and then find those cornerstones in your life that are going to help you to optimize, right so my, my journey, much of my journey was about healing. Now it's about optimizing. And I'm and I'm very, I'm very specific in the language. Healing to me is about there's something there's something wrong that I'm attempting to address, optimizing is taking this beautiful vehicle that I walk around in and like how optimal can I make it right? How clear Can I Can Can my mind be? How present can I be for my clients? How in shape can my body be right? How How well can I perform in this in this vehicle and so that is that's that's what drives me today.

I love that. So the the first part as you described your, you know, first your morning practices and then the practices throughout the day, that's very much this creating the foundation, so that everything is in the so that so that you can be there wholly for yourself, enjoy a meaningful life and then also show up fully for your clients. There's also something about creating that Clear Channel, you know, so smudging between clients to clear the energy especially when you know so many of us coaches deal with heavy emotions throughout the day. And not just our clients Some motions, but I mean, truthfully, I love my clients. And when they're having a hard time, I feel that too, right. So to make sure that I am clear of that before the next person arrives. So it's interesting how the first to have the foundation, and then that creates the space for the work. But then the other thing that you have here is that there is work that is part of the work that is not, you know, sort of this directly interacting with somebody in the doing the writing, like, that is also the work, but it's the work that forms the basis of the work. Does that make sense? I can't quite describe it.

If, if I feel like, so many of us go into coaching, because we want to help, we want to be of service, right, we've had, we've had, we've overcome something in our life. And we've and we and we just we want to we want to, we want to share with the world. And in a in a very in a strict coaching sense, right? We're not prescribing, we're not telling the client, here's what you're gonna do, right, we're not consulting, we're not a consultant. And yet, we have this wealth of knowledge and wisdom. And so that's where I feel like coming on podcast, you know, having a YouTube channel sharing, you know, sharing our wisdom through email newsletters, or online and social media, or, or in a book, or however we want to share our wisdom, I feel like that's part of yeah, just the in like, it feels like what you know, it, because we want to help, like, we want to share what we know. And, and so and so understanding that, and quite frankly, it feels like an evolution for us as well, right, like writing for me as a process of also figuring out where I'm thinking, what's going on here, right? If I, if I have to teach something in a video, like I've got to, I've got to pull that together. And really, and really, under, you know, and really understand that. So it helps me to also process and evolve. And there's a saying that we can only guide people as far as we've gone ourselves, right? We can only coach people as far as we've been coached ourselves. So I feel like so many coaches, we're interested in that personal develop, right? We want to go we want to optimize, we want to learn, we want to grow and stretch, and, you know, go past our limits and understand what's possible for us. Because we want to do that we want to give that to our clients as well. And so it's it's vitally important I feel for us to have, you know, coming back to the, you know, the fundamentals, yes, have the fundamentals there, and be constantly growing and stretching and taking risks, and challenging ourselves and putting ourselves out there. Right. So that so that we're offering so much more to our clients?

Yeah, it's the, there's, it's a very different approach. It's like, symbiotic approach, right? Where we grow for our own selves, and for the world, and for our clients, and to show our clients what is available to them. Just so that they can see, not so that they have to write, but it's, there's, there's a sort of a symbiosis here that is different than we might sometimes think of in some kind of a business relationship. Right? So that's a little bit different. Can we talk a little bit about presence, you know, presence in creating the space for the coaching relationship. And so much of the foundation and the optimizing really, part of the purpose is to create presence in yourself. So can you talk a bit more about that?

Oh, in, in my experience in my cosmology, presence, is the greatest gift that we give to one another. It's the greatest gift that we give to our friends, our families, those close to us, our you know, our primary relationship and also to our clients. Right, that bearing witness of another's journey and so, So the practice of presence in being in presence with the client is, is about other parts of practice, right? I mean, it's a practice that we, that we come to. And it's, and it is being aware enough, when we're in the moment, to be aware of what's, like you said, feeling into your client, what's going on for them. Listening on a deep level, and I've listening is one of those skills that I am constantly practicing and constantly wanting to improve, right? It's not, it's not something they're like, oh, yeah, I'm a great listener, and like, I'm done like I don't need to write it is a skill that as multiple, maybe even infinite levels of practice that we can, that we can sink into, we can always listen at a deeper level. And it's listening not only to the client, but also what's going on in So internally, as well as if you believe, right, that there are that there are guides and there, there's information coming from the outside and coming from the universe that influence us as well. I would say this is true of questions as well, we can always be better, we can always improve our questions, we can always ask better questions, and, and I feel like those, you know, that showing up and being present, and being able to set aside whatever is going on for us personally. And recognizing that if we're not able to do that in the moment, because there are those times that that comes up then then we then we should acknowledge that right? Like at least put it out there and acknowledge it so that it's not interfering in in in the session. And if we need to change if we need to cancel the session, or move it like do that, because we're human beings as well. We don't, we don't need to show up perfect. Right, we need to show up as our as our as our selves. And I believe we show up as our as our best selves for our clients. So it's about showing up present. Listening, questioning, right? Listening some more.

Yeah, yeah. And the listening is like, Paramount, you know, the questioning is one is one aspect. I have this theory, it's probably not my theory, I probably heard it from somewhere and loved it. So I forgotten where it came from. But it's the perfect question is the shortest simplest question. And the perfect coaching session would be one where all I do is listen. And then maybe I asked one question, and about 10 minutes later. Another very short question. Like that. That's the thing, right? It's like, how little can I say? How little Can I ask? And there's a deeper snack for the person, right? Like to just ask the question, and just let it run, and especially when they don't know the answer even better.

Yes. And yes, and the mirroring back, right. The other the other really powerful tool that we have, which is simply to, like mirror back what we're hearing, which can sometimes be, which I feel is part of questions, right? It's, but it's that holding of it's holding the space, right, it's holding the space for our clients.

So we've talked about a few different things. We've talked about the importance of optimizing, heard your story, or just, you know, the high points of it. Heard about how you create space, especially through established rituals that are meaningful for you, your rituals, we've talked about presence. It's one last thing that you'd like to share with the audience.

And we just come back. So there was something that you said that was very interesting around, right, we're often having to do with the transformation in our clients and the transformation in ourselves. So I'm curious, it's been my experience, and I'm curious to know if you've had if you've had similar experience as well. That sometimes I'll be kind of rolling along with clients, and I'll almost start to feel like there's a little bit of a pattern emerging. And then all have all have a trance. formative moment, right? Because I'm out, you know, in a ceremony or in nature or whatever, and I have just a small or a big awakening and transformation. And then I'll come back. And it's almost like I didn't need to do anything. And my clients are having the transformation as well.

Exactly. Exactly. So much fun, right? It's so

awesome. Yeah. And that's why it's so important for us to be right, walking our walk, right, making sure we're taking care of ourselves, and that we're also doing the work and that we don't need to fall into that trap of being the expert. Like, I'm not an expert. I don't even know if I'm an expert in my own life, right? I figured at this

moment in time, you probably are. Next week.

I mean, I figured some stuff out. You know, I've and I've been intentional about about designing it, and designing my life and, and designing, you know, my space. But I'm still evolving and growing and figuring stuff out. And life is not perfect. And it's it's just, you know, sometimes we can get caught in the trap where it's like, our clients see us as the expert on their life. And it's like, and it's just that reminder to like, I'm here to hold the space for you just figure it

out. Yeah, the work that I do with my clients, some of it is the pure coaching like you've described, and that, truthfully, is my favorite. And then some of it is mentorship, and some of it is teaching and guiding. And it's always a customized blend, based on the moment based on where they're at in the moment. And because most of the people that I work with these days are newer coaches starting out. They're learning to trust themselves that they know what they need to know that they already have that information, you know, that they don't need to go and read another book or take another certification or whatever, that they're just right. Yeah. Yeah, I

just had this conversation with my coach, and, you know, and he asked me, he's like, he said, What? What more do you need to learn before you can show up for your clients, you know, and in the way that you want to? And I? And I thought about it as like, Oh, I just have to be me. Right, that's that I just have to be me. And that doesn't mean I love to learn, right? Reading books growing growth, like Yes. And all I have to do is be me, and show up and be me and be present, and be there for my clients and bear witness. And I mean, you know, miracles happen. It's, you know, that's not that's not a, it's not a not a not my not my favorite word, but it does, but miracles, do they happen? They happen in that in that space?

Yeah. And, you know, for the newer coaches, the ones that maybe aren't that confident in their coaching skills and holding space, and, you know, deep listening, and powerful questions, so they're just in that initial stages and practicing, the plants that are sent to you are the ones that are the match for you. You know, so just like you were describing, when you go through a growth patch, then somehow, your clients just amazingly, have a growth spurt as well. But it's because you, you became ready for that, and that clear the past for that in them as well. But we're never going to work with clients, we're never going to a client is never going to be interested in working with us. If we're not some kind of an energetic alignment, right? Like, I've never going to find I'm never going to have a client that's so far advanced emotionally and spiritually and mentally, that they're going to want to work with me. It's like the people who want to work with me, they kind of, you know, I'm the right person for them. And I think that that's important for every coach and at every part of your coaching journey. Just know that your people, there are your people, and they're looking for you, not for anybody else, that you're right for them. And so you're being me, is exactly that. Yeah. Well, I've really enjoyed this conversation. We've covered lots of different stuff. Can you tell our audience how people can find out more about you how they can come into your world and really I appreciate everything that you've shared with us.

Yeah, thank you so much candy, it's really been an honor to be on the show and to share what I know. My the best, the best place to be in touch is my website, which we'll put in the show notes. Also, LinkedIn is the primary social media channel that I that I post on. So we'll put that in the show notes as well. And, yeah, I invite invite conversations because every relationship begins with a conversation. So that's exactly.