Gratitude-Ep.71

Welcome to she coaches coaches. I'm your host,

Kandi motsek. And I'm going to help you find the clarity,

confidence and courage to become the coach that you are meant to

be. If you're a new coach, or if you've always wanted to be a

life coach, then this is the place for you. We're going to

talk all about mindset and strategies and how to, because

step by step only works when you have the clarity, courage and

confidence to take action. Let's get started. Hi, there, and

welcome to this episode. I'm so glad you're here. Today, we're

gonna talk about gratitude. Now, I know, you probably hear a lot

about gratitude. And sometimes we get kind of hardened about it

might even sound something like this. Yeah, yeah, I know, I

should be more grateful. But gratitude is truthfully, one of

the biggest and most powerful emotions that you can Kindle to

make a positive impact on yourself. And on the world

around us. Here are three quotes. The first, gratitude is

a powerful catalyst for happiness. It's the spark that

lights of fire of joy in your soul. And that's by Amy

Collette. The second quote, gratitude makes sense of our

pasts brings peace for today, and creates a vision for

tomorrow. Melody Beatty. And the third, when I started counting

my blessings, my whole life turned around is by Willie

Nelson. And I think that last one, I think that's my favorite

quote, let me read it to you again. When I started counting

my blessings, my whole life turned around. So lots of times

when you start or have a gratitude practice, you might do

something like this, every night, write three things that

you're grateful for. And it starts off well enough. But

then, after a while, you kind of go on automatic pilot, and

you're sort of like a robot. And you repeat essentially the same

things over and over every night. It met, it sounds

something like this. I'm grateful for my house, my family

and my home, you're kind of check in the box. I'm grateful

for x, y, z. And there is a way to easily make your gratitude

practice more meaningful, less robot like and more intentional.

And, in fact, this way, intentionally increases how

grateful you feel. Now, before we dive in, I don't want to run

away without telling you how thankful I am for you. You take

the time to listen to these episodes. And I'm grateful that

you tune in each and every week, and listen to my voice. Listen

to my words. And I want you to know, each time I record an

episode, I send up a little prayer that my words help you.

And so thanks, I created some free screensavers. And they're

available for you right now, when you sign up for my free

coaches Online Business Academy. It's the vault that stores all

kinds of great resources to help coaches. And in there, those

graphics, I made them in Canva, you can put them on your phone

for your homescreen they are a super helpful way to remind

yourself of some powerful thoughts and quotes that really

resonate with you. And they're going to improve your day. I

know that every time I look at my phone, it's that reminder of

who I am becoming and the difference that I'm making. So

now let me go back to this gratitude practice. So this is

specifically how I recommend you fine tune your gratitude. Take a

few minutes right now. And think of those things that you're

grateful for. Pause the audio if you need to, and come back to me

when you're done. All right. Did you do it great. Now if you're

like many of us, you voiced thoughts, something like this. I

am thankful for my family, my kids, my partner, my home my

job. And while these are all important things, these are what

I would call like top level or more of like a surface level

form of gratitude. And what I'd encourage you to do is take one

of those things and narrow it down down, take it down to

something super specific. And then to begin to list all the

small reasons that you are grateful. Here's what I mean.

And I wanted to give you an example. So when I think I'm

grateful for my kids, there's no specificity, specificity, sorry,

it's a tongue twister. There's no specificity. Obviously, I

can't get that one. But that's okay.

It's a global statement. And I don't really connect at the

heart level, because I have more than one child, and they're sort

of blended together. But when I think this instead, and I get

specific, I think I am thankful for my son. He is such a kind

man, he is always willing to help others. The environment is

important to him. And he shows it in the way he grows

vegetables, and 10s the earth to reduce his impact on the

climate. He is smart, and he's always learning and sharing what

he learns with me. He is a loving person. And I love seeing

him relate to his wife. Do you see how I've added so much

detail? And I bet you can hear it in my voice to the depth of

emotion, and love and gratitude that I created in just 10

seconds. Now you try it. Take one of those top level things

that you listed the first time you pause the audio. And I want

you to go deep and specific, instead of going wide instead of

my kids or my home, go deep and specific with one thing. What

exactly are you grateful in relationship to that one person,

keep adding those fine details. And you'll notice how fast your

appreciation grows. This is the way to grow your feeling of

gratitude and appreciation. Go specific and go deep. Now,

because I like to speak with coaches, let me ask you to

consider this. Well, when you're looking at your coaching

business, do you find that you see all the places where it's

just not quite enough? Either you don't have enough clients,

you're not creating enough sample sessions, you aren't

making enough money? Or even maybe you feel like you're not

making enough impact. Realize that the more you focus on the

not enoughness. Yeah, I know that's not really a word. But

you understand what I'm saying here. When you focus on not

having enough, it creates more of the same. For example, if any

of these are common thoughts for you, I just don't have enough

clients, or I've only got three clients, or it's not fair. Jane

has 10 clients and I only have four, you are unintentionally

reminding yourself that you feel insufficient, you probably feel

disappointed and discouraged. And what do you do when you feel

discouraged? Well, if you're like me, you probably compare

what you have with what others have. And you think about how

you should have more and how it's not fair. You obsess about

the people that said no thanks. I'm not interested in coaching.

You look on social media at people who you think are doing

better than you. And you feel even worse. You might even force

yourself to go out and do something like cold calls or

something like that. And here's what you probably don't do when

you're feeling discouraged. I bet you don't pick up the phone

and text someone and just wish them well. You don't create more

really helpful resources to help your current clients. Any of

these sound familiar? Yeah, I thought so. So what's the result

of that? You've spent all this time comparing instead of

creating value for more clients. So guess what, you still don't

have enough clients. Now since this episode is about gratitude,

I want to circle back to this. And if this sounds like you, try

this instead, write the names of the clients that you do have on

a piece of paper and think of each of them individually.

Remember, go deep and specific, not wide. Think about how

interesting and amazing they are. And think of how they've

grown and how much you enjoy speaking with them, how much you

enjoy laughing with them, and how thankful you are to be part

of their life. Now, you might be in the position where you don't

have any clients just yet. Don't worry, they are coming. You

could modify by this activity by writing down thoughts about how

much you enjoy coaching, places where you've grown as a coach,

and as an individual, how much learning about coaching and

practicing coaching has improved your life, essentially giving

thanks for this pass that you are on. Do this regularly. And

you'll notice how much more you are enjoying the clients that

you have those ones that you're already talking to. And you will

naturally create more. When you feel better, more grateful, more

on purpose, it's only natural for you to show up in new ways,

in a way that looks like a smile, like an open, welcoming

attitude. A way that means that it's easy to offer to help

people and perhaps even invite them from that happy and genuine

place to try coaching. And when you show up from a place of

appreciation and gratitude, people want to spend more time

with you. You know what that's like, if you go to a get

together. And there is one person that is just a happy, joy

filled, loving human, we all want to be close to them. You

practice your gratitude, and you are going to become more and

more like that person, but with your own vibe, your own flavor

more unique to you. So no matter what area we're talking about,

if you're focused on having not enough, you will always create

more not enough. And when you focus on appreciation for what

you do have, you will create even more clients to fill your

calendar. So let's wrap it up. Here's your takeaway from this

episode, cultivate a little bit of gratitude every day, spend

five minutes each evening, and you're gonna find that your life

is transformed from the inside out. And remember the secret, go

deep and specific, not wide and surface. And you're going to

find that the gratitude is so much more intense. So let me

find tell you a couple more things. I want you to know, like

I said earlier how much I appreciate that you come and

listen to these episodes. And I would so appreciate it if you

would share it with your friends and family to thank you for

helping me to share these concepts so we can create a

lasting positive impact. I'm honored to invite you to be part

of my community too. And if you're ready to get started,

come sign up for the coaches Online Business Academy. That is

my free resource library. It's there waiting for you 24/7. And

you get to download the download those free screensavers too. And

if you're ready for even more help, maybe you've had enough of

doing yourself trial and error, feeling discouraged, and you

want to work more closely with me. Click the link in the

Episode Notes to find out how to apply to work with me.

I'll be back and speak with you again. Next. Thanks again for

listening today. Please hop on over to Apple podcasts and leave

a review. Also, I would love to hear from you did something that

I say resonate? What else would you like to learn about click

the link in the player and leave a comment on the post. This is

going to give me great ideas for future episodes so I can help

you best. Join me again next week for more coaching, support

and teaching to help you become the confident coach. You are