Procrastination And Perfectionism Are Two Sides Of The Same Coin - Ep: 079

Welcome to she coaches coaches. I'm your host,

Candy Motzek. And I'm going to help you find the clarity,

confidence and courage to become the coach that you are meant to

be. If you're a new coach, or if you've always wanted to be a

life coach, then this is the place for you. We're going to

talk all about mindset and strategies and how to, because

step by step only works when you have the clarity, courage and

confidence to take action. Let's get started. Hey, everybody,

welcome back. So pleased that you're here. Today,

I'm continuing on a few episodes where I talk about this central

topic of fear. I explained to you guys a couple of weeks ago,

that I've been doing a lot of thinking about this. And I see

where fear has held me back. And fear still continues to hold my

clients back. And guess what, it's because we're human, go

figure, right. But it doesn't mean that we can't find new ways

of managing ourselves so that our lives are easier, so that we

know how to manage fear so that we learn how to do it in a way

that works for us, so that we acknowledge our humaneness,

except ourselves and continued to grow. Today, we're talking

about two things, procrastination, and

perfectionism. Two super common topics that come up in my life,

and in all the conversations that I have with my wonderful

clients. And I got to thinking about it. And I realized that

they are two sides of the same coin. So we're going to talk

about that today. And I'm going to share a three step strategy B

strategy about what you can do to overcome them. So you can get

moving towards feeling more like yourself feeling more authentic,

and getting closer to your goals. The other day, I realized

I was procrastinating, I was spinning my wheels, I was

creating content that is going to help coaches start and build

their coaching practice in a super easy and authentic way, in

a way that is supportive and encouraging to and where

possible, I always include the step by step like exactly what

to do and when to do it. And then I like to include a whole

bunch of mindset stuff too, because most of the time when

we're becoming coaches is something that you've never done

before. So it's really normal to run up against fear and

expectation. And the places where you're just unsure, you

don't quite know what to do. So we often self sabotage. And I

was experiencing procrastination, because of all

of this. And it really made me think of this concept,

procrastination and perfectionism. Now, for me,

procrastination means you put off starting something, you're

committed to it, you might even want to do it, but you put off

the start of it, it might be from the very beginning, or it

might be the next stage that you're starting. So it's like

the beginning of a continuum. Procrastination, putting off

starting. And then farther down the continuum is perfectionism.

And it's the thing that says, It's not good enough, I need to

make this thing perfect. Before I can call it done, I need it to

be perfect for me to finish it and put it out in the world. So

procrastination is starting the journey or any step of the

journey. And perfectionism is saying, it's not good enough, so

I can't be finished with it yet. Where I think this really

hinders us. And where it really has an impact on our lives in

the world, is that so many of the things that you want to do

in your life are wonderful, amazing, inspired things. Maybe

you want to write a book, maybe you want to become a coach,

maybe you want to quit your day job. All those things that you

dream about, they sit in your mind, they take up space, you

think about them over and over and over again, and something

that you really want to do. But then procrastination and

perfectionism show up. So we never actually fully bring them

truly into the world. So you may dream, for instance, about

writing and publishing a book. Maybe you've always wanted to

write your family legacy story and you dream about it. But then

you procrastinate. About the starting, because you don't know

exactly how you're going to do it, you've never done it before.

Or you start your outline. And now it's time to start writing

that first draft, the individual chapters over and over and over

each chapter, you may run into procrastination right at the

start. Now you're at the starting place, right?

Perfectionism says, it shows up like this. Your first draft is

done, it's being edited, and it's time to get that covered

design. Now it's time to put it out there in the world. It's

time to tell people it's done. It's time to share it. But

perfectionism says, Oh, that's not good enough. No, I don't

think I'm quite ready to publish it. Maybe I should edit it one

more time, maybe I should read it through one more time. You

know, that cover isn't quite right. Or even this, nobody's

going to like it in this way. Anyway, I should fix it. So it's

perfect. So you want to make it perfect. So this is where

procrastination stops you from starting. And starting every

single step. And perfectionism doesn't let you finish? Do you

see what I mean? Two sides of the same coin. So they're both

safety triggers, the way our mind works to keep us safe, is

to keep us from stretching from trying something new, or to

putting something out there in the world. So at the heart of

it, there is fear here. And it's wanting you to hold back from

starting, or it's wanting to hold you back from completing.

But it's still fear. Who knows what the fear is about? It might

be fear of not fitting in, it might be fear of not being good

enough. It might be fear of what people might say, but at the

heart of it, it's fear. And so yes, underlying fear often stops

us from starting or completing. But that dream will still sit

there in your head, and it won't go away. So what do you do,

right? That's why I've got these three little strategies that you

can use to help overcome both procrastination and

perfectionism. And all three strategies start with the letter

A. The first is acceptance. The second is accountability. And

the third is anticipation. So those are my three steps to help

you deal with both procrastination and

perfectionism. Let's talk a little bit about them. Starting

with number one, acceptance, acceptance is where I want to

remind you, your human accepting that you are going to do the

best you can, given the resources that you have, given

where you are in your life, and to allow that it's okay, that

you are enough exactly how you are right now. It is accepting

that what you create will be good, maybe even great, and

accepting that if you have that dream, it's meant to be created

in this world by you. That there is something there that says

it's up to you to bring this into the world. Your voice is

important. Your message is important. This is important.

Accepting that you bring it into the world for yourself, to

fulfill your dream, and others will benefit to accepting you're

good enough, excepting that your dream is meant to be here. So

that is the first day excepting the second is accountable. The

second being accountable, the best way to do it is find

yourself an accountability partner, or a tool. I prefer

accountability partners, grab yourself a coach or a friend or

a family member, somebody that you know, that will hold you

accountable. It's going to be so much harder to procrastinate and

not finish. If you've got somebody else checking in on

your right, grab an apart accountability partner, ask for

their help offer your help to them to do you need to be

accountable for the week, for the day, for the task for your

dream, you know, how could you use yourself as an

accountability partner as well? Could you keep a checklist?

Could you track your progress? Can you track your steps and

your completion? Yeah, you can do this for yourself too. So

maybe this is a place where you can do both. Help yourself and

work with somebody else to help you be accountable.

It might even be something like you exchange DMS every day and

started the day you say yep today my goal is to write two

pages in my book. At the end of the day, you send them the note,

I did it, and you're receiving their accountability too. There

is so much synergy and power in helping each other. And then you

can be each other's cheering squad as well. The most

important thing about this is that you are learning to keep

your commitments to yourself, This is a big deal. So often, it

is easy for us to keep our commitment to somebody else. And

we would never in a million years think of breaking that

commitment. If I give you my word, I know I will honor it.

But when I give myself my word, do I honor it with the same

intention. And this is one of the things that you're learning

in this place of accountability. The third A is anticipation. And

I love this idea. I got this idea from the book finished by

Jon Acuff and his recommendation. In the book,

I've used it myself, and I really, I really like it. So

what you do is you use the dream of the next thing, your next

fun, shiny thing that you're going to do, as the reward for

finishing this task. So use your dream of the next thing, your

anticipation of doing that next fun thing as your motivation to

finish the current task that you want to do. So an example like

this might be, maybe you want to run a marathon, and you want to

go to Hawaii and run a marathon there, but you've never even run

10k. So maybe, before you will allow yourself to travel to

Hawaii to run that marathon, maybe your deal with yourself is

that I have to be able to run those miles. So I have to focus

on learning how to run those miles before I allow myself the

travel of going to the fun place. So before you can reach

the dream of the marathon in Hawaii, your first dream is

actually to be able to run those miles in your own hometown. And

the motivation to get to that eventual dream of running in the

place of warps in Hawaii, tropical paradise says I can do

that. But only after I've run this in my hometown too. So keep

that next dream alive for yourself as the motivation to

get over your perfectionism and finish what you started. So

let's quickly recap the three strategies that you can use to

overcome procrastination and perfectionism. The first is

acceptance. Accept who you are, that you're human, that you're a

person. And that if you've got a dream, it's meant to be created

by you in your life. The second is accountability, being

accountable for your word, being accountable to take the actions

that you say you're going to do, have an accountability partner,

and learn to keep your commitments to yourself. And the

third is anticipation. When you get into the tough times, maybe

there's some setbacks in bringing your current dream to

life. What's that next stream that you won't let yourself

start until this one is finished. So I hope you're

finding this useful. And I would love to know what exactly you're

putting into play, send me a DM or comment on the blog post. I'd

love to hear from you. And I've got one more thing for you. If

you've always been curious about what it takes to become a

successful life coach, I wrote you an ultimate guide. There's a

link in the Episode Notes, I'd encourage you to go click that

link and download the guide and have a read, especially if this

is a dream that you've been holding for months or even

years. If you have been dreaming of becoming a coach. You've been

saying things to yourself, like I'd love to do that. Then go and

download that guide, have a read through it. It gives you some

great ideas that I know you'll love and encouragement and a

stepping stone path. So you'll know how to go about it and what

your next step is. Now if you want even more help, maybe

you've had enough of trying to figure this all out on your own

by yourself. We should talk I've got a few space open in my

calendar for private clients. as I record this, I've got two

spaces, but you know, people grow and graduate all the time.

So click the link in the Episode Notes to find out how to apply

to work with me. And I'll be back and speak with you again.

Thanks again for listening today. Please hop on over to

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hear from you did something that I say resonate? What else would

you like to learn about? Click the link in the player and leave

a comment on the post. This is going to give me great ideas for

future episodes so I can help you best. Join me again next

week for more coaching, support and teaching to help you become

the confident coach. You are meant to be