The Box of Life with Orit Ramler

Welcome to the Shining Brightly show. I'm Howard Brown author, speaker, Silicon Valley entrepreneur, international peacemaker, and yes, to time stage for cancer patients survivor advocate. Each episode will take you from resilience to hope, and a whole lot more. Because shining brightly does make the world a better place. Be prepared to be inspired.

Hello, it's Howard Brown, welcome to Shining Brightly. Oh, my God, we have a great show. I can't wait to introduce you to Orit Ramler. She is amazing. And we just got great projects we're going to talk about today. Are we welcome.

Thank you, Howard. I'm really excited to be here.

Oh, thank you. So I have to tell you, I got a confession to make that I'll read came to me in my time of need. She is a mentor and a coach for me. So she's going to actually talk about how she helps others. But she helped me and I just want to tell you that I am blessed and grateful to be your friend and your client. And you really got me out. You know, I'm struggling through cancer and therapy, and you've got me back on track. So I'm just so grateful for that. So thank you.

And I'm thankful for you for your trust, and for inspiring me every single thing.

Well, I appreciate that. Let me just read a little bit. This is a formality, I want to read a little bit of your bio, so people know who you are. So Arete Ramblers, she's a seasoned entrepreneur and executive coach with over 20 years of experience in business leadership, personal and professional development. You're globally sought after coach and the founder of make it a good one coaching and consulting and you focus on the client centered coaching. And then you have this project that you're going to talk about that because you have a new book coming out called the box of Life Project, which we're excited to learn about. And we'll talk about that a little bit later. But you previously draw on your outreach or leadership you are, we're an executive director for nonprofits and an a fundraiser. And you serve on many boards, Duke University School of Nursing and the Delta leadership, Inc. Oh, my God, you've done so much. Plus, you're a great mom and wife. And I can't wait to introduce you to my group here. So my audience is very, very excited to see you. But before that, I always ask my guests tell us something that we don't exactly know about you.

Great, and I knew you will ask thinking okay, transparency is my number one thing I know being authentic, and I share I love to share. But then I would thinking what's interesting for everyone and maybe that I lived in seven or seven different countries growing up. In almost every two years, I was moving to a different country until I got here. 24 years ago, almost 25 years that I came to the US. And it's the longest that I've been in one place. Although I came only for two years. What were some of the countries I've been I was born in Israel to Argentinian parents, and I leave the needs role in Costa Rica, El Salvador, in Ecuador, in Argentina. And finally here,

and how many languages do you speak?

So I am fluent in Spanish? I speak English. It depends. I try and I fix some Hebrew.

So everyone knows everything about you because you're so transparent, but oh my god, you you really traveled along growing up and then the longest period of time is in the United States.

Yeah, it's unbelievable. And when you asked me about the language that I speak, I feel I always say I speak a universal language. And somehow that would guide me into coaching as well. Because although in most countries I live they speak Spanish, but it's different. Right? It's a culture of the place. It's a different listening. So I learned to listen, it's more than what I speak what I can hear and what everyone brings to that language. Right?

I listen i I'm trying to master English myself. So your English is pretty good. So I think we're will be just fine. So what I want to dig into a little bit because you know, you're coaching I just when I found you, okay, I needed someone that really could be empathetic and understanding take us through would make it a good one coaching what you do for people.

So that's my philosophy, my life philosophy, make it a good one. Every time I hear Life is good. I always remind everyone and myself Life is good is if you make it a good one. And the idea is that we need to be at the helm of our life. Right? It's not just automatic pilot, and just say, okay, whatever is happening is what define us. But it's us, we need to define ourself and choose what story we're telling ourselves at each time. And that the base is of a make it a good one. It's understanding that we really define and decide how we are living our

lives. Absolutely. But I think that one of the things that because, you know, make it a good one, and shining brightly we resonate with is that you had any focus on lifting up myself, I had to pick up the pieces of being a cancer patient and putting myself back together again, I call it putting Humpty Dumpty back together again. And some people probably come to you worse, some people come to me, and not as bad and you and you've had me focus on bringing myself back up, and I needed to do the work. Okay, I needed to be able to put myself back together again, emotionally, physically, financially, and in relationships. And that was, it really helped. Because you held me accountable, to put into work, and to make sure that I was doing that. And I know that you do that. But you do that in such a kind way. But I didn't want to let you down either. So when we would talk and be able to, you know, you're making sure that I'm making forward progress. And you applauded me for that forward progress. So I would appreciate that. So I'm sure I've given people a taste of when they, you know, sign on to your, your coaching that, that they're getting someone that is not such a pushover, but but very empathetic, very supportive. But you held me, you know, strictly to making sure that I was making forward progress and making my goals. So I want to appreciate that very much.

Thank you. And I love to see your where you are, and all your accomplishments. And I always believe that it's about you. It's about the client. It's not me, I'm the facilitator here, right, it's a, the first step is deciding that you want to coach. And that's a step that says I want to move forward coaching is about moving forward, not to stay stuck where we are. And it's about finding the new story that you want to leave and to tell yourself, and you knew what the story was. And now you're telling that story every day. So my real magic is to bring the best out of people. It's not about what I want. It's not about what I believe in, that needs to happen. It's about that deep listening, what the other person wants, and giving you all the tools to keep moving forward. And accountability is the most important thing. In every single goal that we set ourselves, I always tell my clients, you're not alone, now you have a partner, I'm your partner, wherever you want to go, you're with me, and you're very safe. And sometimes it will be within your comfort zone. And sometimes we will challenge that comfort zone. Because many times I find out that that uncomfortable zone becomes the comfort zone, because we are afraid of trying something different. So I always say we know where we start, we know where you want to go. But then we will explore together and really bring the best out of you.

I love it the uncomfortable zone can become the comfort zone, which is cool. And so I know that you you basically coach executives and and other other folks as well. Your your client list is wide and varied.

Yes, I do personal and professional development. My understanding is always that we are one person and we are one whole thing, right? And it's not that what I do here, I'm different at home that I'm at work We usually bring over itself wherever we go. So it's a holistic approach. And I work with executive I do a lot of leadership development, career development and life transitions.

Well, I was a life transition. So thanks for sharing that. And are you doing Are you speaking on stages? Are you doing some keynoting and some motivational speaking or

motivational speaking? I'm doing workshops. So I'm traveling, working with different groups of people companies doing a lot of workshops on different topics.

Wow, that must be really cool. So now we're traveling outside of COVID and you're able to go to court operations and then meet with different departments or divisions. And

absolutely, I'm expanding my wings again, although nothing stopped, because I used to do a lot over zoom. And in times where everyone had to keep their heads above water, right not knowing how how to work, what to do, how to communicate. So it always remains a very busy time for me. And maybe we shifted the nature of the work our goals, and really learning a lot of things about ourselves. I believe that COVID Really, a put us in front of a mirror, where we looked very deep on how we want to live, we live our lives, but we want to be how we can communicate with others in different ways.

Yeah, listen, our workflow changed during COVID. And people were put flicking on the Zoom and working but still with the digital world we live in. I mean, there's still a balance, you know. And then now there's a different challenge now of people coming into work as hybrid, or we're returning fully to work. So it just depends on what works for your company or for yourself. I think that many of us are challenged that we just work too much that we're not disciplined enough to put down our phone, and to be able to go eat dinner with our family, or make time for a hike or put the phone down. So I'm working on that I'm a work in progress.

Priests are always important. And COVID came once again, to remind us of that. And I think we're still learning, we're still learning about new boundaries. Now we're still learning if hybrid is what served us really or not, and the companies and a the learning is profound. And it will take us a few years. To have that.

I will tell you that. I think that coming out of COVID, though, everyone emotionally was challenged. I know our school kids were challenged, our college kids were challenged. And it might even be set back a little bit. But you know, for the first time in many people's lives, they were had restrictions. You can't go out you can't go to this restaurant, you're working from home. And so we're going to still it's still yet to be evolved, actually how people are coming out of it and dealing with it. I know that I just went to two conferences in a row. And people were just ecstatic to meet in person.

Yes, and it amazes me how people suddenly kind of go back to I was concerned, will we be able to go back to public places and restaurants. And everyone happily is doing that.

I know. But the thing is, is that COVID still here. Still here are still getting it and so we're not exactly done with it. But a lot of people have moved past it.

Yes. And we learned a lot about it. I think so many people are still struggling and it breaks my heart. And we because we need to learn with it. I have an elderly mum and I know that Karen still need to take of her is different than it was before. I would never have thought twice. Take her with me out for dinner now. I'm choosing where and how and what. And I know that there are lots of people still struggling that's why it's a new reality that way I believe that we need to learn there are lots of things we haven't learned yet.

Right? Again, it we're continually learning I will tell you that boy, there was a lot of people there was a lot of people lost their lives a lot of death and the stage for cancer world that I'm from a lot of death. And you know, it's it's unfortunate. But it we need to move on. Right and but never forget the memory of the you know, many people I've met amazing people at this cancer conference I just came to and that people that have just so strong and I've overcome. And unfortunately, there's no there's no blueprint, you have to create your own blueprint. That's why we come to coaches like you to help you figure out our blueprint. You helped me figure out my blueprint. And so that's the thing, ask for help. I've learned that and learn to accept help. And you can it's okay to be vulnerable. I always say it's okay not to be okay. Because everybody's not okay, right.

Vulnerability is so important to listen to it to connect with it, right? That's the only place from where we can grow. And we need some break downs to break through and be able to carry ourself. I think COVID was too much but there are a few breakthroughs, things that we're learning again and inspired of our evolution. Now there is nothing. I always like the word, evolution more than change, because evolution is natural things happen even if we want it or not. And this really was something that pushed us to keep evolving as individuals as a society, as the whole world, right? And we were all in this together. Right? And to all of us,

well, I have to tell you, you've transitioned into being a cheerleader and a friend, you've cheered me along the way, my book has come out, I'm speaking, I'm podcasting. Now, you're a guest on my podcast. And I just appreciate your being a cheerleader. And that is really important, you know, to keep you're encouraging me on and it gives me great strength to keep forging forward. And I appreciate that from you. And I know that you do that for all of your clients. But I want to switch gears for a second because I wrote a book and got published, when we first met, I think I was right starting it, but you have a book, tell me about how the book came to be and where you're at, and how it's going to change lives.

I hope it will help change lives with great impact. That's the goal of the book, to help I think how we're living our lives, and how we want to be remembered. So I started with the idea of the book many years ago, and COVID did the work the time that I said, Okay, I need to do it. It was starting to think either tomorrow, what else do I need to wait, and all these Wallner ability that I was feeling that okay, this is the time to do that. And it's based on an intergenerational friendship, the title of the book is the box of life, a guide to living with purpose and preserving what matters most. And it started, as I was saying, with an intergenerational friendship, someone that I met, that was a very interesting life, and we became very good friends. And one day he asked me to write his memoir. And I said to Charles, with my English, and I'm not a writer, and he said, Yes, but you get me you're a coach, you know. And I said, Okay, I will come, I will listen to your stories, and we'll see where it takes us. I know, after a few months, he gave me a heavy box. And he said, you have my life in your hands now take it home, and you will see, and I got home, I opened that box, and I got chills, I found a life in the box, poems that his wife wrote him for 50 years for every valentine day read hand reading these yellow were each paper articles about his amazing life. He philosophy was that that secret of longevity is to always have a project. The secret of longevity is to always have a project. And he created himself all over his life. I think you will resonate with him, you will learn about him when you read the book. Yes, he has a lot of things in common with you, and always project all the way they do very creative. And then I started thinking what's in my box? Or how what if someone opens your box? I know they will find your book and your life, but what they will know about you, right? What are we putting in that box? So I decided to do a lot of research. I spent a few years learning about how we're living our life purpose, memories preserving. And basically I came with five questions that the book answered. One is, who am I? How am I leaving my life? What is the most important to me? How do I want to be remembered? And what do I want to pass on to future generations? Wow. And I started again, coaching a lot of people putting their boxes together at different ages, different stages in life, different histories, different things that matter the most to each one of them. And I started understanding the power, the healing power of looking back in order to move forward. And the book has different chapters where I guide people with questions and ideas and stories. It's about Charles Stern's box, it's about my own box. I share what different things that I learned during my life that are in my box. I shared stories of clients with whom I'm boxing right now. And I share about my dad who I asked him to put a box a year before he passed stand when the marks meant to me, among other things,

this is incredible because everybody has a physical and a digital box now, right? And the items that you put in there your values, they share your lineage, your history, and your legacy. And I think that's, it's really cool. And it can be really fun. And it can drag up old memories. It can. It could be funny, it could be crying, I mean, you can have a lot of emotion, to walk this back and go through the process of filling the box up.

Yes. And the box is a literal box or a metaphorical box. Really, what are we putting how we're leaving that like, and the physical box is very important, because we have boxes in our attics in our storages in different drawers. So this is, okay, this is a curated box. It's not everything. If I asked you, Howard, tell me about your life, I can read your book and learn. And if I asked you, I don't have your book, you won't tell me from the day you were born until today, you will curate what's important. And that's what these books is. A we don't want to include everything because then it's overwhelming. And you mentioned values. And there is a chapter about values in the book, either in the chapter about value, the one about friendship, one about the aromas and tastes of our souls, those recipes and foods that we all remember from when we were kids, and, and there is one, about how we invest our time that speaks about us. The idea is to guide you through different aspects of your life and really connect with them on why

this is so important. And I mean, I sort of did it with the book. But again, I told my whole memoir, you're right. I mean, you want to put the most most important things in that box and go through the five questions again, because I don't want people to miss that. There's five questions that that are answered in the box of life. So one

is Who Am I? Who am I? The second one is how am I leaving my life? The third one is what is most important to me. Good. The fourth one is how do I want to be remembered? And the fifth one is, what do I want to pass on to future generations? Wow.

This is such a cool exercise. Oh, my goodness. Alright, so the book is in process, right? When is it going to be out? Next year, early next year? What's up?

So it's between October and January? Okay, I'm trying to decide where I want to launch it when ready, but it's in its final phase. It's with the publisher right now. And yeah, it's ready designing the cover in the next week or so

covers important, it's an important piece? Well, I will tell you that I went through the 901 steps to publish a book. And the last one is you press the go button on Amazon. And I did that last September 27. But that's really the starting line because books don't sell themselves, you have to promote them. And you have to tell about them and people need to buy them. And I'm sure I will help you do that. You're going to go on a book tour and talk all about it. This is a really important project. What's your box of life? That's what I want to ask everybody. And I'll put that information in the show notes. All right. So now's the time, we're going to put you on the shining, brightly Spotlight. I'm putting my glasses on right now, because you are shining like a movie star right now. And I want people to know how to get in touch with you. I want to hear some final comments. And then we're going to close out the show.

My main comments is that you make my day very special by asking me to be here with you. Because I see you shining and I know when we were working together and I see all your accomplishments. And this is exactly what coaching is, and friendship is. And I want to do more of that. I want to share that light that you're sharing with the world with everyone as well and to keep spreading it I believe in ripple effect. Right if like a stone on a lake that goes from one space to another to another and ripples. And I think that's what we need to do. And your book is in your walks of life. And I love that.

Well I how do people get in touch with you? Through my

website we are read rambler.com It's all r i t like in Tom Rambler. Ra m l

er.com. Excellent. And they're

Yeah, or they can email me at or rate at or read Rounders that a I read wrangler.com

Okay, and then I know that you're on LinkedIn and they'll find you on the website as well with your socials. So you can they can talk to you about coaching, speaking and the new book, of course, and I am just so thrilled that we had this chance to meet and come on the shining bright the podcast. So thank you for being in the shining, brightly podcast. We together are united that we can, you know, shining brightly, just a little bit each day can change this world for ourselves for others, and make this world a better place with positive goodness and change. And I know that we are on the same team regarding that and you do too, you shine brightly all the time. And thank you. So thanks for listening and watching the shining brightly so and you can reach me at shiningbrightly.com And again, grateful blessed to have our wreath Ramblers, our guests. Thank you kindly Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom.