Steps To Creating Self-Discipline EP:43

Hello, my friends and welcome. You're listening to soul inspired decisions, a podcast for ordinary moms living extraordinary lives. My intention with this podcast is to teach, motivate and inspire by sharing stories, tools and strategies to help you unlock your greatest fears, annoying habits and old stories and make a move towards the things that have been on your heart. If you have been a little lost, or in a funk, and want to reconnect with your purpose, your passion and feel empowered again, then this is the best place for you to be hanging out. My name is Carrie Lecuyer. And I'm an ordinary mom making extraordinary decisions. This is me putting one foot in front of the other, moving towards my next goal, and hoping to inspire you along the way. Let's get started.

Welcome back to the podcast. Today's topic is self discipline, and sticking ups. The sticky notes is because it's the main reason that I have such discipline in some areas of my life, and yet, not so much in other areas. And I would just love to share with you today the tips on self discipline to help you get going and to identify where you are self disciplined, because then you can celebrate those areas, because it's not easy to get to that place to have a plan and practice it daily. And to recognize that that's a part of self love for yourself. So I just want to start by saying that in our house, if we get a new fish, I put on the sticky note, feed the fish and put it by the door. Years ago when I needed to start stretching my body was really aching for some care when I was training so much and I refuse to stretch for such a long time. And then I decided that I really do need it because I had some injuries starting to creep up. So sticking out in a plastic bag in the shower to stretch. For the last four years I have diligently stretched in the shower in the morning every day. I have a little routine, I don't even need the sticky note anymore because it's part of my practice. If I plan to exercise for the day or do something related, then I'll write a sticky note and put it on my computer, the keypad or someplace that I'm going to see it and it's my reminder to do that. So why this has come up for me is because just last week a friend messaged me on IG after I posted my story, I was probably skiing or something. I can't remember what it would did. And she said You are so self disciplined. Now my immediate reaction is, oh my God, I am so not like what are you thinking? Don't you know me? So have any of you do that when someone gives you a compliment? You shut it down right away, you can't receive so thinking, I wish I was self disciplined. And then I took a minute to examine what she meant. Because by now you know that if you've been listening to me for a while I love a little bit of self reflection. So obviously someone's saying something that they see. And then I can over analyze what I think they mean but just to really look at what she's saying. And recognizing that it's to receive and it's a compliment and a lot of women have a really hard time with that. So I just wanted to take the time to identify what she's seeing. And I'm guess I am disciplined in that area. I've never really thought of it because it has really been just a habit to get in some exercise each day staying active. I would hands down say it's probably one of the most areas of my life that I am most disciplined in. So yeah, I guess I guess I am self disciplined. And now I recognize what she's self discipline to and that's what I love about her. And so, my friend Jill is she took kickboxing lessons Oh through COVID to become an instructor like that discipline has a family at home you know, to dot young daughters and she decided to become a trainer and kickboxing, learning through zoom and is now teaching that's disciplined. My friend Katie was disciplined in running for so long. She's discipline to my friend Lauren, super diligent with getting her exercise and whatever it may look like. So the people that I resonate with the most we do have solid routines of keeping active and keeping moving and keeping our kids the same way. And that's the thing that we have in common. That's what Bond's us together and is a natural thing to talk about. So we recognize in others what we love about them, but we love about ourselves as well. And that's Something that we don't often think of. So, now just because I am disciplined in that area doesn't mean, I feel like a train wreck in other areas of my life. So I could, I can feel like I'm falling apart in every other area of my life, but that is one of my constants. So since having kids, I have noticed the feeling of being overwhelmed and chaotic and, and never really have a moment to sit down without hearing mom like 30 seconds later. And the thing is, when we sit down to do something, and we get in the train of thought, as soon as we're interrupted, it takes almost five to 10 minutes to settle back into that concentration piece again. So by the time they do that, like three times, I think they just know when you're on the phone, right? Or you're sitting down to do something read journal, take some time to yourself, they just automatically know they just have to say mom, and then you're instantly out of your zone and into their world. So just being mindful of is that just life is that chaos, am I just choosing to not put boundaries around this, that that's the things that I still have to work on. Because that's not as solid as, as staying active? Yeah, kids, overwhelming at times, for sure. But my kids have learned to adapt to my routine as well. So if I'm going biking in the summer, or going for a run, they're coming with me and they're biking, there's no excuse either there, it takes extra time to load them up, get things ready to get the snacks, the water balls and set them up. But I'm setting them up to set myself up as well. And there's no excuses that come up from because that is what I'm doing. So to be able to think of the other areas of my life that are not so consistent, that I wish that were more consistent, I have to really look at the things that I want to grow and why I want them are they super important? Are they not important right now, really putting them in categories of what I need to work out this year to be more consistent in other areas. So for the last 20 years, I have exercised, and that's coming from within our reflection reflection one on one basically, of where this stemmed from and where this discipline came from, especially in being and staying fit. And of course, part of it comes from growing up and what you see him deciding what I'm not available for with my kids in my family, and what I want to change and how I want to make new patterns and change from what I have been brought up with beliefs and values and instill different ones in my kids. So that's, that's a reflection within me on part one of why I'm so disciplined in my exercise. Also just, I just love the qualities that people have and how much energy they have when they are doing things they love and challenging themselves. So that is just a natural thing that I want to give other people as well reflect the love that I have for keeping moving and keeping on things and challenging myself. So if you're interested in fitness and staying active and healthy, that you're probably following me a little bit for that reason. That's just what we naturally do. We follow the people that we admire. But a bit of my backstory. We were married in the winter of 2000. We had just finished building a house in the spring. And then I remember it was calving season and there was just a brand new batch of kittens. And I just love baby kittens and cats. They're so cute. And so I would I started to walk to the farm each morning to check on the cuteness and the pens of course, and cuddle with the little baby kittens I just wanted them to I just loved when they come running at you when you say hello and because they get to know you so I started a pattern of walking to the farm and walking home before work each morning. And examining how good I fell in doing so. It was worked out to about 30 minutes 15 minutes, only 15 minutes the other and I felt really great doing this. So the sun was rising up you could see as far as Saskatchewan really it's so flat and beautiful. And it was just something to look forward to the peacefulness the birds the the solitude, but yet the excitement of what I'm gaining from it and then feeling so good after I so we need to recognize what we're really loving about what we do.

And then I got the brainwave to like see how far I'm going. So I would get in my car got some A spray can. And then I was started, I started marking down like the kilometers on the road up one kilometer, two kilometer, I went all the way up to five kilometers. So then I started making sure that I walked, you know, two kilometers, two and a half kilometers, three kilometers, 3040 45 minutes. And then I've maintained a routine for that for the whole summer till it turns really cold in the fall. And then I'm just not an outdoorsy person to run or walk outside and kind of get kind of wimpy. So then I would move inside on my treadmill. So then one day, I remember, what if I walked 5k. So I just did, I just took the time to do it. And then one day, I got the notion that I should try to run 5k. And well, holy crap, I could do that. That's only two and a half kilometers out, two and a half kilometers back, takes about 35 minutes for me. And that was just the startup developing my running habits just daily, I would run 5k, after supper, sidewalk, kept walking in the morning. And then I would run 5k, in the after noon, or after supper. And so then I just really became in love with how good I felt and how strong I felt. And then that lasted for a couple years. And then one day, I just decided what if I could get to six kilometers. So I marked out that extra kilometer and ran it and I stuck there stuck between five and six kilometers. And then one one day, I probably in the summer I was like, I'm going to try eight kilometers. So I would run eight kilometers. And then go back to five. And I would challenge myself throughout this until one day I decided to do 10. So coming back to self discipline, I would like to read you the actual dis self discipline, meaning that I have found that I really resonate with. And it is self discipline is the ability to keep pushing yourself forward and taking action toward your desired outcomes. It's an unbreakable determination to keep doing what you should be doing no matter what obstacles, opportunities or distractions appear on your journey. This was nobody else's journey. This was mine that I decided to create and work towards. Hasn't doesn't run he he'll walk with me occasionally, he's probably run with me like four times in our marriage. We've been married for 22 years. It's not a thing. I don't ask him to do it. I haven't dragged him through the mountains numerous times on many different hikes. He does like that, because it's going where people typically don't go and you don't see a lot of people. It's very secluded and peaceful, so he will hike with me. But running is not his thing. And that's fine. Discipline is the strongest form of self love. And learning to do that by myself. And learning the lessons as a young adult, that have taken me to where I am now is a big part of what I've come to challenge myself through over the years on how come I've gotten to do almost 30 half marathons to complete an Ironman to go farther and push myself farther, it's always about what if I could go the next minute or what if I could go the next kilometer, and is pushing myself to see how far I could go and then backing off and seeing how I feel and, and not getting out of control of what I need to do and just being consistent. And I went for these blocks, year after year after year. And till it became no longer a I had to think about it. It just became a habit. And and so built my confidence in what I was doing to push myself where I no longer needed anybody to recognize what I was doing, my husband just knew as part of our routine. And the best part is the habit that happens behind it. You have to find you have to find the thing that works for you to be self disciplined in. It's not really any suggestion that comes from somebody else. We take examples and ideas from each other. And typically from the people we admire and what's happening in their lives, like we look at our mentors and our teachers, our coaches, our trainers, and we take what we want from them and adjust what fits our life and discard the rest and you can probably attest to throughout your life you've picked up habits and routines and try something new because somebody else is doing it you liked how they talked about it you liked how it reflected what they were movies coming across their good vibes. And then you try it and modify it and it becomes your own. We have to read You want to you have to really want to make the change, and have it part of your life. Discipline is one of the most important things we can have in our lives. And I'm sure you can give me examples of times where you were very disciplined. I can too. And of course, times where we feel like we're completely falling apart, and nothing's working, and we're injured and all the excuses and life challenges, we can all find those things. Typically there is motive behind a massive change. It's a, it's hard, it's tough to say, but some people will only make a big change in their life if they hit rock bottom of life, marriage, financial, or being diagnosed with an illness that takes our breath away. Really, those are typically the two common reasons that we make a big change and decide this is the time I'm going to do this and you become naturally self disciplined, we don't have to have that happen to start something and create a routine and a habit. To make a big change in our lives, we just have to decide how important it is. We are not born with self discipline, we develop it, you can decide to make a plan to do the thing you want, if you have to take my little check of a sticky note, and make a sticky note of what you want to accomplish today, and try and put it right where you stand in the mirror where you wash your hands. My husband gets sticky notes, when he's supposed to do something, I give him a sticky note. By the way, it's not for everyone. So you got to find the thing that works for you. At the time of walking by myself, I also really started to learn about being at peace with myself, being committed to myself learning to love the quietness and commitment, it's hard to say how much love I had for it back then, and how much respect I have for that part of the journey, because that solitude really gave me the practice that I have now in my life for always keeping moving. And when the kids came, they were part of it, I didn't shift for them, they were part of my plan, they were part of my exercise. I want them to grow up and see that it is easy to be active and to keep moving your body keep your heart healthy. So I think that there is more I want to be disciplined in. But I think I got this. And I'm really proud of it. It's just so hard to think of the bigger picture beyond that. So let me ask you, how disciplined Are you in an area of your life that you want to achieve? So this is where the coaching comes in for you. Because you've heard my story, you've heard where that piece comes from? Now, I want to ask you, where are you very self disciplined? Do you have something that you were wanting to do better? I'm just gonna give you a little bit of time to think on this process. Your thoughts? This is your turn. So many people struggle with self discipline. So where do you struggle? Only you know these answers, and you don't have to say them out loud. You don't have to. You don't have to go deep. Just acknowledge what's coming to your mind. The moment you hear my question that is listening to your body that's listening to your intuition of your answers, acknowledge them, they are true. In this moment, I want you to scale on one to 10. So one is not being self discipline to 10 very disciplined. How disciplined are you at the thought that comes to your mind? So if it's a one to five, acknowledge where you are, and be okay with that number. You are where you are for a reason. So, the next question for you is where would you like to be, you know, in in three to six months, where would you'd like to move that number to that you could feel comfortable with

in being self discipline in that specific area. So be okay with that. Number two, don't put pressure on yourself. This isn't about pressuring yourself. This is acknowledging where you are and where you want to go. Because there is something we want to do differently. And I just want to give you a reminder of something we all do. We are All, brush our teeth? How committed to brushing your teeth? Are you whether you love it or hate it? Or could care less? You do it every day? Because a VNC? How committed? Are you on a scale of one to 10? Like, why not committed 10 totally committed to brushing my teeth every day. Super simple way to decipher this, what's happening? I am Edison, okay. Now, looking at your year, at the one thing you want to do this year, and work on and change on a scale of one to 10, where would you like to be by the end of the year that is realistic for you, in that area. Got your number you want to scale up because we have, we have some recognizing things happening in our body with us. So you may feel uncomfortable acknowledging this. And that's fine. Just don't go into the feelings. Just acknowledge it just receive what you are feeling. That's all I want you to do. I don't want you to spin anything. So going back to brushing our teeth, we are not we're not born. Knowing how to brush our teeth. We are taught, we are taught why we are taught how we are taught to do it daily for all the reasons why. And we do it and it becomes habit. And we usually put it in a place where it fits in our morning routine or after lunch routine. Or if you've had braces, you know that it's just part of your routine after every meal, whatever it is for you, you have a certain routine for that. That's yours. That is self discipline in the area of brushing your teeth, it is something you need to do must do you don't think about it anymore. It's now just habit. Here's what I'm getting at, you can create a pattern that makes a habit that becomes your self discipline, you just have to choose one area and focus on it. We often fail at the thing we want to do. Because we will we think we lack self discipline, we think we lack commitment. We think we lack the time or the feelings of why or it's too hard we have the excuses. Fear of failure prevents initiative and leads leads us in this like lack of inner strength. If I say it like that, does it look any different for you? Is that what you want to your year to look like like a fear of failure. And when somebody puts it in that perspective of me a fear of failure. If I don't commit, of course, nobody wants to fail, we don't set ourselves up to fail. But we'll quit on ourselves. Because we fear failure. So here's what I want my future to look like. But it would be easier for me to not start. Because if I fail, then I have to be accountable to myself. So your past results have dictated where you are today. If you have quit on yourself before, year after year, you probably don't even want to start you don't even want to acknowledge but I'm telling you, this is the perfect time. This is the perfect time. Because you want you truly want to move forward with something. You wouldn't even be here listening to me if you didn't you wouldn't follow big gurus on social media, you wouldn't listen to podcasts that were about self development, personal development, career development. If you didn't want change or love the desire of it or what you were getting from it, you just wouldn't. So you're here for a reason. So if fear of failure was removed from your mind, where would you move forward for through first to first? On only you know that you are the only person here that can answer that question. So we're building this big huge community of men and women who are moving towards things that they love. What is it that you love if I called you out right now what is it you want? Now, here's what I want my future to look like. Only you know that and start putting attention to your new future self instead of focusing on the past. The past serves you in so many areas of your life, it's taught you great lessons, period, that is your past past results, period there in the past, you can take what you need from those memories, those results, your experiences and move forward. What has happened in the last month that you are locked about yourself? What has happened in the last decade that maybe you are holding on to that you won't let go to move yourself forward? What do you want to put? Where do you want to put your energy? What do you want to focus on? What do you want to create? You do need self discipline for success period, in the area that you choose. Highly successful people do not possess extraordinary powers. They only have discipline to pursue their goals, you know, people like this. Every aspect of your life is connected to how disciplined you are, or can be, or want to be, how to start turning your life around by improving your self discipline is by simply acknowledging where you're at right now. So definitely the scaling of where you're at right now and where you want to go. Understand your why why do you want that in your life? What does it give you? What would it give you understand the feeling? How would you feel if you have that? So whatever your idea is, if you are at an eight, and you want to get to a nine by the end of the year, what would that nine feel like? If you were at a two, and you wanted to get to a six? What would that six give you? What it gives you confidence? Would it give you satisfaction? Would it give you a healthier lifestyle? Would it give you time to breathe? If you're looking for more self care? How would you feel if you had that determine what motivates you minimize or remove distractions or temptations, so you know what they are. So I have some things that I don't like doing. And I will call my sister if I'm doing those things, I know that's my routine. When I start to sit down and do book work or paperwork, I will automatically be like, Oh, I think it's time to call my sister. Good time to talk. And we'll talk and she does the same thing, shall we? We know our distractions, you have to acknowledge them. And so once we acknowledge that both of us are like this, then it was like, Okay, I'm going to do this today, I'm not calling you. So I'm setting myself up to not repattern what I've created throughout my life, so it takes acknowledgement. What are you not acknowledging distractions. So what's going to get in your way? Social media huge distraction. For every one of us hands down the biggest distraction. If you find yourself and social media getting lost for hours throughout the day, it's time to set boundaries around your social media, create daily goals and plans that you can have your social media time and what you want to have in the moment, or the time slot of what you want to achieve. self discipline is a connection of your level of willpower, if you're willing to grow and be better, so you have to take a look. So if you are wondering why you never get your artwork done, or your bookmark, or or your course, you never hand in the assignments on time, you don't sleep better, you are terrible with eating chocolate at night, you do not have a proper exercise routine, you need to change careers, you need to take a course and you put all of that off and you put excuse after excuse after excuse, just pick one thing, take the pressure off and just pick one thing to focus on because otherwise it becomes so much overwhelm. And then we have our family that needs us and our kids that need us in work that needs us. And then the first thing to go is what we're working on to give our own self love.

That's what happens. So if you're looking to lose weight loss to do weight loss have some weight loss. So number one thing most people can relate to, what is the area of life you need to look at? Over the next week to make that a priority for you emotionally engaged with the dream you want and your mind what will it give you? Think about the thing you're after and how great it would feel what is your goal there has to be The deadline a check in time. So now my tip for you right now, number one is, the thing that I do that gives me the most success is I actually plan in my head the night before what I'm going to do the next day. So I can have 100 things on the go. But my exercise routine is pretty solid. So, Monday, I went for a scan and swam, I knew I had time to do both. I know my what my whole week lights looks like. So I know, when I'm going to town to do the swim. What won't work the next few days? What do I have time for I know the day before. So when I wake up in the morning, I'm already pre planned for the day of what my week will look like. And then that morning, I hone in on to the times, when am I leaving? What am I packing? How much time do I have. And if that's all I get done, that's fine. I have completed the one thing that I'm dedicated to time blocks, they are time blocked, I know how much time it takes me to drive. I know how much time it takes me to do errands I know how much time I need to get back to doing my work. I am pretty strict on this. If you want to do something, you, you really do need to block time. If friends want to do something, and it's last minute, I will decline because I have boundaries. And I know what it feels like to not accomplish what I'm after, and how awful I feel when I have a plan. And the people that I do things with aren't exactly the same way like it is pre planned, we won't meet up, it is planned. It's usually never last minute. And we stick to those boundaries. And we respect those boundaries for each and every one of us. Schedule your time. Put it in time blocks, know what's important to you, whatever it is that you're after, and make a plan. If you're needing to do the research, if you needing to make the call if you're needing to prep lunch, block the time. Get off Facebook, get off Instagram, you don't need to watch Netflix, you don't need to clean your windows, the laundry doesn't need to be done right at this moment. I do all the same things. Not really Netflix, but I can get lost in social media. But I can clean like the dickens when I have something that I should do that's not related to exercise, do the work before pre planned set yourself up, set your morning up to wins, set the time blocks up, you will feel so good knowing you have a plan if you don't like to have, if you don't have a plan, I want you to take a really good look at your life and what you're accomplishing. Because as we get older, there's not a lot of people who say they don't have a plan and just wing and get things done. It doesn't happen. So unless you change your behavior, you will get the same results this year as the past year, and it will carry forward to your future. And your kids will pick up your habits and routines Do you want that? Do you want them to see the version of you that's on your best side and pass down these traits and, and beliefs and values? Or do you want them to see you work through what you're trying to accomplish to set yourself up? My kids see me set myself up. This is what I'm doing. They in their future will take some things that they have learned from me and they will discard the ones that they don't just like brands do just like our mentors do. What does your future self want now? What does your future self want to thank you for? Those are two big questions. What is your future self want to thank you for? actions need to be taken. So decide what actions are most important to you this week. So this will come out on Thursday. If you listen on Thursday, what can you set yourself up for Friday. If you are choosing to take your weekends off, great. Let's set your week up, set your week up with the plan. Nothing overwhelming, nothing unrealistic. And go by week by week. Understand in the morning, what might get in your way and how you handle it. And then how might you feel if that got in your way and how you will acknowledge that feel feeling to do things better the next day, rearrange your plan then commit to that for the next day. This is a day by day plan. So I hope this helps you to get clear on what areas you are to self discipline in and where you want to move forward. Give yourself Grace if you are working on an area in your life and it fluctuates ends and flows which liked us. We cannot control circumstances remember that but we can navigate and move around. So just start today. pre plan your day. Write it out. pre plan for tomorrow. Write it out. Put it on a sticky note put in your journal, put it somewhere where you see it, and then move along with your day. Understand that you are creating a habit as you plan and create. And over that time you will then create a habit and that habit becomes self discipline. You my friend can do this. You have what it takes. If you have any questions, if you want to work with me, I love working with people on moving forward and career planning, understanding purpose, life focus, making changes, you name it, I'd love it. I will talk to you soon to me with anything.