Crush Overwhelm: Master Work-Life Balance Through Effective Communication With Dana Zellers

Welcome, dear listeners to the speak and flow

podcast, where we share unique experiences to help you unleash

your leadership voice. Today we have Dana Zellers, executive

coach, she is known to help you crush it from being crushed. Or

it's crushed. Crushed it from being crushed.

Yeah, go for being crushed to crush again.

Yes, go from being crushed to crush it. That's

right. I love that. I love that it's so true. Because I mean,

when we're doing so much, we often feel like oh, my goodness,

like the world is crashing in caving in on us. And we don't we

want to avoid that. And so I have you here today. Thank you

so much for sharing your wisdom with us on how do we do this?

Like, what did I mean, tell us more about that, like going into

that where your leaders when people come to you? What are

they feeling?

Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. I think mostly

when leaders come to me it is they're feeling overwhelmed.

They're feeling all of this pressure, they really want to be

successful at work. And historically, that has meant

more and more and more hours and more tasks and more things. And

they usually come to me when they're getting to the point

where they're realizing that their personal life is

suffering, their family is getting frustrated with him

always being unavailable or having a phone out at every

conversation. Maybe their health is starting to fail. Maybe

they're just looking at what am I doing from now until they

retire? Like is this what it looks like? Or is there a way

that I can get back to a better work life balance?

So if you're having any of those of you your

relationships are suffering, your health? And I you know,

what's interesting about health is I think a lot of us have been

very accustomed to actually suppressing some of our health,

health signs and symptoms and signals, which you know, if

you're one of those, like really dig deep like is my house

suffering? Yeah.

And again, it's one of those things where if we

can preempt some of those things, and not wait until our

health is hospitalizing us or something dramatic, it's like

all of those things, if I can start taking those steps now to

start taking care of myself, not only am I going to feel better,

and I'm going to be happier, but actually going to be more

successful in the work stuff. All it's taking me away from it,

we don't realize that that more and more and more is actually

getting less effective. And it's taking away from from our

personal well being.

Right, yeah. Because like you said in the

past, and I instill present, it feels like okay, the more we do,

the more successful we're going to be. And you're here to say

no, that's not true.

That is not true. We really have to kind of flip

that, that reframe. And it's so hard for us, because sometimes

it's other people asking us to do more and more. But

oftentimes, it's things that we want to do, or we feel like what

benefits in some way. And one of the key pieces, the first step

that I work with on all my clients is really getting

clarity of focus. So what is important to you, truly, when

you step back, all these things that you're just reacting to and

responding to during a day, are those taking you to where you

want to go. Right. And so as soon as we start getting that

clarity, suddenly our schedule opens up. And for

people, though, I mean, is it hard like to

actually say, Hey, this is what is really important, are you do

you find it easy for people,

what I find is, is that truly taking the time. And so

going through, I take people through exercises, we do some

values, we do some visioning, we do some reflection, all of those

things, looking at those gaps, the more people go through that

process and take the time to really reflect on it. It's like

a light bulb goes off, like, okay, when I look at how I'm

spending my time, energy, not driving towards these things

that I say are the most important to me, right?

Because it feels like they all are important. And

it feels like if I eliminate them, I'm being lazy. Or I can I

can see myself if I'm going through this exercise, oh my

gosh, I'm gonna live by eliminate that I'm being lazy,

or if I eliminate this, it's gonna take me too long to get to

my goal. Yeah.

But the challenge is, is when we do that, I mean,

I was totally that person who was like the last person in the

office, I was working late on projects, I was doing all of

that. And the problem with that is, is that we're not effective

with our time when we're doing that. So if we can just choose

the key things like we talked about the Pareto Principle, so

that the 8020 rule that typically if 20% of what you're

doing is leading to 80% of the results, then you want to focus

on just that 20%. And the rest of the 80% of the things that

you're doing actually might be benefiting you some, but not in

enough ratio of of the amount of time that you're spending on it.

Wow. And so if we're focusing on those few things that are moving

the needle most and getting us where we want to go, and again,

a lot of people come to me individually, so they're like,

Okay, well personally, this is what I want to do, but what

about my company, like they want me to be doing all of these

things, but I think that same theory translates to your

professional life. So you're looking at what is really

important to your company. Look at what's really important to

your boss and your team. So how did what you're doing fit into

that? And what are the pieces that truly are going to give you

the most bang for the buck? Right? As opposed to walking

into your week and just reacting to emails and things like that,

which is what we normally do,

which is not what we normally do. So taking the

time to reflect and say, Get really crystal clear about what

is important to you, what is important to the company? Yeah,

yeah. If they really value you and Bill value, the quality of

what we're trying to do and the results, then they will I mean,

do you have? Do you see people communicating that and having

challenges around communicating that and with? Yeah,

yeah, yeah, I think there are kind of three

pieces to the work that I do with my clients. So one is that

first piece, it's that focus, it's that clarity, what is

really important to me, what am I paying attention to? One is

kind of in the productivity area. So we want to be more

efficient with our time, we want to be not only doing the right

things, but we want to be doing them in the right way. The third

piece is relationships. So when we go about our day, if we're

not effective in the way that we're communicating to the

people around us, if we are walking in and sort of being

like, oh, you know, that person is asking me for this again, you

know, sort of those things. But once we start to really focus on

relationships, and give people the benefit of the doubt, and

start to get really curious as to what they're looking for, we

can start to open up a relationship where we're also

able to really, honestly communicate what it is that

we're looking to do, like, how do we all figure this out, as

opposed to me over in this corner by myself, banging my

head against the wall and trying to do these things by opening up

those relationships, that's really the only way you're going

to continue to be successful. That's

interesting, because I work with some leaders

before and they the perception is like I'm thinking about some

leaders, and they have clients within the organization. And

some of these clients have a good reputation, do you if you

do things for them, it can really build you up. But then a

lot of the things some of the things that they asked you to do

may not be directly aligned to your own skill development, or

what you'd like you said the clarity, the focus, like how

would one address that or handle that? Yeah,

no, it's really interesting. I do think, you

know, we need to be cognizant about what relationships do for

us. So, and again, this isn't like an in a yucky, like, I'm

gonna, you know, I'm going to focus on this person, because

they can do something for me, it's in a real estate of sort of

sort of giving and sharing those things. And I think the key with

those instances is evaluating. Okay, so how does this fit into?

What's the most important for me to do? And what is the reason

why be doing those things, sometimes relationship building

is enough for it to become important to you. You're like,

Okay, this isn't my This isn't in my wheelhouse. This isn't my

skill set. Like, I'm not, I'm not jazzed about this. But this

is a piece that's going to get anywhere I want to go. Sometimes

it's not. And so again, we need to evaluate those things and

say, okay, based on this relationship, you know, this is

one of the pieces that just isn't a great fit for me. And

the more you can open that dialogue, I think the problem

that most people have is that they receive information. And

that's the end of the communication. Whereas if you

start having a conversation, and you ask questions about, you

know, you know, why is this important to you? What is the

scope of this? You know, who are all the other players? Is there

somebody who might be a better fit for this, all of these

things, you can have a conversation where, you know,

it's not they tell me the information, and I do it, or I

say, No, it's how do we open it up and figure out the best

solution, that's really going to be a win win for everybody?

Yeah, yeah. And it's hard because especially if

you're just like you're walking in unprepared to, and then you

go in, especially if it's a client or like an authority

figure, you're just going in, and then you have nothing else

to say you just taking and you're like, okay, here, I've

just accepted this task that I don't want to do, or project. So

being prepared first with the right questions.

And particularly, when you're dealing, you know, a

lot of people that I'm talking to, you are dealing with their

managers, and it's, it's really making sure that you're having a

real open regular conversation with them. So whether it's a

client, or some of those people, it's like, with your manager,

they're gonna be a little more concerned about here are all the

things on my plate, here are all of the pieces that I understand

are important, you know, based on those, you know, can we all

get on the same page as to which are the most important and what

we do with the things that that are beyond the scope of what can

be done in this week or whatever. And so again, having

that be really an open conversation where you're

sharing that and you're all kind of deciding what the best focus

is together, as opposed to it just being a one way street?

Right? Obviously, if it's more a client relationship, we want,

you know, to make sure that that work received well that all of

these things are delivered. And there's a way to do that. So

that again, you're understanding the scope of what a win for all

of us is in the reality of everybody's bandwidth and

circumstances. You No,

I love this. I mean, I was just watching a real

yesterday, this is more about entrepreneurship. But it's the

same concept about if you want to be a millionaire, I think

people will tend to do a lot. Yeah. But if you want to be a

millionaire, you narrow in your focus, you get really, really

good at that one thing. Yeah. And then that's how you make

your millions. And then and then you take that money, and then

you add to it, you expand to it, but it's a similar concept that

what you teach? Yeah,

absolutely. And so again, if we do everything, sort

of, you know, a little bit, then again, you know, there is a

benefit to being a generalist and doing you know, more things,

but again, within those making sure that I can really

accelerate this. I mean, I think that, you know, when we decide

all of the things that we want to do with our time, it's like,

okay, why is this important to me during this time? Why is this

important in my job? And so then we decide how much time is that

worth to me to do that, and so in making those decisions,

again, it's like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be great at these few

things that I'm doing, I'm not going to be one of those people

who says, I will make that deadline and misses it, I'm not

going to be one of those people who doesn't have time to prove

my work and go through all of those things. It's like all

those little things that if we get really scattered, the great

impression we're trying to make is just lost. And so if we focus

on a few things, and really make sure that we're leading

ourselves enough time, like knowing that emergencies are

going to happen, knowing that things are going to come up,

bake that into the plan, so that we're saying yes to fewer

things, which unfortunately, does mean that we're saying no

to other

things. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I love that. And can you

share an example of one of your clients like, one of your best

clients and what happened?

Yeah, so I had an amazing client comes to mind,

who was just so eager, all of these things, was an independent

contributor, and really wanted to move into a managing

leadership role was was ready for this, this was happening.

And there were two challenges that they were really facing

when we came together. One is too much work. So all of these

things would come in, things would come up as an emergency,

they were a go to guy for some senior leadership to figure

things out. And so part of that was that conversation of how do

we give ourselves enough time to be successful with the things

that we want to do? So we definitely did work in that

area. But the other piece that was a huge piece of this was,

they were in data science. And so they were very, like, I ran

the numbers, this is what we should do, it's very clear. And

they would share that information with other people.

And they wouldn't do what they said, Okay, we're just getting

so frustrated, right? And so we really worked on those

relationships. So we turned it around as to you're not just

bringing information to them that they go off into a black

box, it's a conversation. So how do we open up that conversation

to really understand what they're trying to do, what the

information is, how you can be helpful and how we can come up

with a solution that's going to get us there. And it ended up

really just transforming their relationship, they were able to

really understand kind of the nuance of how the data fit into

that, and so much that there were pieces that they didn't

know about it. And once they got that information, they were able

to share more information on their side. And again, it really

created a team where they were able to be successful. And their

manager saw this and saw this transformation transformation

and move them into a more senior role.

I love that. I mean, I especially love that I

keep on saying that. But I really the reason why is because

it's like because I hear you saying that, okay, this is a

person independent contribute to our all of our, you know, really

high top performers out there who are independent

contributors, you already got a lot going on, you're doing so

much, so much being I can already help you data can help

you which isn't productive with all the things that you're

doing. But again, don't remember that there's a relationship

piece around if you're really going to be a top leader, a

leader of a manager, a team, the relationships are where it's at.

And it's about communication.

The relationships are absolutely where it's at. I

mean, as as successful as we can all be on our tasks, what the

perception of you is so important. More important, and

so if people again, see you in a corner, working on your stuff

and doing a good job, yeah, be fine. You may you may move ahead

to a degree, but you're without developing those relationships

without being able to share your wins with people in the right

way. No one's ever going to see you as that next leader to step

into that role.

Totally. That was me. I mean, that's why people

got promoted before me. So you're singing my Yeah, song.

Yeah,

I mean, we all do feel like the work that we're

doing speaks for itself. Right.

And unfortunately, it doesn't, is it that's a Yeah,

that's what we think. And it doesn't. It doesn't it's most

also communicating that and telling them experiences the

lesson learned and stepping up to do that. Exactly, exactly.

it. Oh my gosh, that's so great. And so what are some of the

things that? How do people get a hold of you? Like, what are some

of the things that you're doing for clients?

Yeah, um, well, one of the first things I give

to my clients is what I like to call the better week blueprint.

This is a template that I would offer to anybody who's

available. It's at Dana zellers.com/better week. And

what this is, is it's really a week planning system to be

intentional about how we're spending our time and this week,

and as we talked about that reflection piece, so looking

back and making sure that I'm learning from all of those

experiences, and moving forward. Again, it's the first tool that

I give most of my clients. So I love to offer it so that anybody

can really appreciate it. And again, I do work with a lot of

clients, one on one. And so if anybody is interested in talking

about that further, I would love to

have a chat. I love that. And so what is such a

valuable tool? I mean, I could see how that would really help

me, but then I'd also see how it can need your help to support me

through that.

Yeah, again, it's one of those things, I think the

process is really iterative. I think having that focus and

knowing what's important to you is such a key piece, but then

making sure that you're being intentional about creating that

in your day, your week, your month, your year. Having those

those two pieces married together is so important.

And I can especially see how people could

fall back into old patterns being comfortable, especially if

that's something you already know how to do, you're me and

you're just, we

are not creatures who like change. Even if the

situation that we're in isn't getting us where we want to go

getting out of that is so important. And I think having a

partner can be a huge step. We can do a lot on our own, but we

can get further faster in someplace different than we even

envisioned for ourselves with help of somebody

else, especially on the other side, especially when

there's change. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Awesome. And any last like

leadership tips that you want to share with the audience? Yeah,

I would say the overall perspective that I have

is we do want to invest a little time to saving ourselves so much

time in the future. So whether that's with somebody else, or on

your own, really thinking about what's important, really

planning people don't like planning, they hate it when I

say plan, but really taking a little time and thinking about

like, Okay, if this is what a change that I want in my life,

what do we need to do to get there? And how do I invest some

time to start making that change? Right,

right. Right. And the support to help us?

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. There is support all

around us. So take advantage. Um, why wouldn't we?

Right? Oh, I love it. Thank you, Dana. That was

powerful. I learned so much. And I trust that the audience has

also taken away. Lots of nuggets, lots of great advice

and tip. So reach out to Dana she is your support to take you

to the next level to move up in your career and your

professional and overall life. So thanks again, Dana, for being

here so much for having me. This was so fun. Until next time.

Take care