Overcoming Perfectionism: Jay Sondhi’s Journey to Launching Loan Bae

Welcome, dear listeners to the Speak In Flow

Podcast. I'm so excited to have a dear friend and amazing

mortgage loan officer Jay Sondhi with US Bank. Welcome, Jay.

Hi. Alright.

Hello. Glad you're here. You've been doing mortgage

for 23 years. That's a long time to be doing one thing.

How's it been a long time? It doesn't take a long

time. Time flies when you're having fun. That's awesome. Yes.

And you're the go to expert. People go to you.

You're having fun, share. And now you're sharing knowledge.

You've taken all that knowledge, 23 years of your knowledge in

the loan industry. And you put you're putting it into a YouTube

channel, and that's why you're here today.

That's the idea. Yeah, it's

awesome. And

with your help.

Ah, and it's called loan Bay, right? Loan Bay? Yeah.

Loan Bay. So creative. And what is it that you want from this

channel? Like, what is your vision? And what are you sharing

on this, this channel? Because

the idea was to have a channel that has all of the

questions that are asked during the mortgage process. So that,

you know, a lot of times I get calls from people after hours,

right? So six o'clock, seven o'clock, nine. And because I

understand everybody else has the job to write, they're

working eight to 12 hours a day, and they may not have the time

to get into the research of their future home purchase until

after they're done with their work day. Right. So ideally,

this is to have little snippets of all the frequently asked

questions during the mortgage process. So that if somebody

reached out to me and said, Hey, Jay, I want to schedule some

time. Let's talk about mortgages, I can say, Okay,

here's my scheduling link, we can schedule some time to chat.

But if you have time, which I know, you're probably in the

middle of doing all this research and finding a lot of

bad information online, once you go to my YouTube channel, you

can pre approve your own loan in five minutes. And you can have a

bunch of the questions answered for yourself. Like, what's the

appraisal? What, how do I search for house? What Why is

everything going for over asking you all these little questions?

We'll all be there. So that that's the idea is that all

these little questions that are in your head, I know what they

are, because I get them every day. And I will just require

Right.

Right? Do you think people get because it's a big

purchase? And so do you think listening to these videos and

getting knowledge will help them too, because I get buyer's

remorse after a small thing? Like, how would this be helpful

for to reduce the level of buyer's remorse? Who do all get

all this upfront knowledge first beforehand? Or what do you think

about that? That's, that's the idea

that the whole concept is what I learned in the

Army is this concept of knowledge breeds competence.

That training that you get in the army, they say, it's going

to breed the competence that you need to be successful on the

battlefield, right? Like, I never want the army. But I took

that to heart, it was one of the one of the best things I ever

learned in college, wasn't even in college, right? Knowledge

breeds confidence. And I think that if you're a home buyer

looking to go buy a house, they really need to be confident in

what you're doing. So that I want my clients to be confident

in what they're doing. I don't want to be party to, you know,

I'm putting people into debt every day. And I don't want to

give somebody the largest amount of debt that they might have in

their whole life and feel bad about it the next day. Right?

Right. And I

want them to understand, right? I want them

to understand what they're doing. Because in this day,

where it's competitive in the Bay Area, things move so fast

that a lot of times you can be out looking at an open house one

weekend, and then 17 days later, you have a house and a mortgage

if you're not careful. That's why you like this repository of,

of information in my information, not not just

internet information should be in one spot so that you can pick

my brain whenever you want.

Right. I mean, this is a good analogy, because like

you said in the military, they're going to battle I mean,

when you get out there, you're probably like feeling like

you're going to battle with all these other competitors. And it

can just go so fast. And you're not really Yeah. I just want I

just want and then you think back you're like, oh my gosh,

did I really want it? Yeah, so it's like yeah, like you said,

like doing all that upfront research. is taking your time

getting, you know, looking at your videos and asking the right

questions, getting all those details before you go out to the

battle go out to the battlefield, because you may not

have the time to think through things, because you're in the

middle of the emotion of it. All. Right, that's awesome.

Yeah, that makes so much sense. And I never really thought about

it that way with home buying, because I sometimes I think, oh,

we have so much time or why don't we take our time with it,

but you can't if it's especially if it's a good

house. Oh, everybody says that. I really look. Yeah.

Later. Yeah, open houses. I felt like I want to buy right now.

It's like, that's just right. And that's the reason why you

need to get a pre approval as soon as you start thinking about

looking right is that you can't go hunting without a weapon and

the pre approval letter, it's your weapon you need to have

Yeah, you need to be able to take the game with you. Right?

The minute you can't be like, Oh, hold on, let me go get my

pre approval right now on Sunday, when other people offer,

so you really have to get going on things quick. And you need to

know what you're doing. That's, that's the thing that always

makes me nervous about it is I want to make sure everybody

understands what they're doing. And there's so many little

pieces that you need to be understanding right. From

your mind me you have a video, you have a video

on it. Yeah,

yeah. Like one little very, like in snippets,

like minute long, hopefully one to two minutes. Because you want

to you don't know what your property taxes are going to be.

It's not you can go online and look it up in the counties. It's

not accurate. So you have to look at the property tax bill of

the house that you're going to buy and do the math backwards.

Because you need to do manual math. There's no, not

everything's available online, as you think and hope not even

AI, but you

and one of your videos has a whole sheet on how

to do that. Right. Yeah, manually for years for

themselves.

Correct. Yeah. And a little bit, yeah, the little

tools that I use, it's just like, let's look under the hood

of the mortgage company. Let's make it as transparent as

possible, so that you have all the knowledge that I do. Because

it's really not rocket science, what we do, but it's not taught

in schools either. So that's right. This is my class. right

with you. Yeah.

And it's really easy to listen to watch, I mean,

and then push your stuff just so you're engaging dot j, like you,

you have an engaging style, your videos are different. And so I'm

excited that they're out there, you started to probably you

started to record them. And so let's go back a bit about when

you had this idea, and, and it wasn't out You didn't even

record yet. What was that? Like when you tried to record it? And

are you had this vision of recording it? How many years

ago? Was it that you're thinking about doing this?

It must have been over five years ago? I can't

remember exactly. But I know. around when I bought my house,

so yeah, five years ago? Probably six or seven? Maybe

five or six? Five or six? Yeah.

And then so you, you knew you want to do it. And

then what happened?

Well, I first of all, got my channel setup.

Right? I got Oh, YouTube, there's loan bay there. I could

get loan Bay. I got it. I got the Instagram channel, loan Bay.

Right. Great. Then the next step was I gonna make a little avatar

because I'm not really supposed to do it for US Bank, you know,

they don't really want us doing this stuff. And that's the

reason why the strategy and so it's not me working as an

employee of the bank making these videos, because they're my

personal thoughts. They're not It's not financial advice. This

is my own opinions. And that's why right with that idea that

alone Bay is that it's just a little cartoon character. So I

had went to Fiverr I had somebody make me a an avatar.

And I got those channels all set up. And then it was I don't know

what to do now

and then stalled for a while.

Could you go back? Yeah, and I didn't even I just

paralysed right. Yeah, had an idea what I want. Want to do. I

was uh, I don't want to have my my face online. I had a lot of

reasons. Yeah. About that. To be most informative, but not about

me. So I would just forget about it for a while. And then think

about it, but don't do anything just paralysed with the

perfection, right. And not knowing like, there's just a

baby step to take.

Because you wanted to probably because of the

perfectionism coming into place, you wanted to have all the A

through Z, planned planned out. Yeah, yeah, but knowing that

it's gonna be and then yeah, don't understand

that. It's, it's got to just get started on it, and you're going

to make mistakes, and it's not going to come out perfect. But I

think you get I got wrapped up in the perfection of it that it

just never got started. And so I knowing that maybe, before

pandemic, so probably like in 2018, or 19, I think it was

2019, the beginning of I took a class down in LA with a great

lady who was teaching a class about how to be camera ready,

how to go on camera and be, you know, have you present and feel

good about yourself? And it was really deep and fluffy, you

know, at the end of it, yeah, who go do that? I'll make a film

and not didn't do it.

And then it is what was going on your head at that

time. Were just like, like, no, like, I something just stopped

you.

I can't say didn't help I? I did. I did learn some

things. But right. I didn't. I didn't get going. And I think

there was deeper in there that I think you helped me with on

that. And

oh, well. And so what? We don't have to say what

I mean, it's up to you. So you will want it. We went a little

deeper.

Yeah, day one. And I think that happens with a lot of

friends after the years and years of like, it had been

another few years, right? Because I reached out to you in

earlier this year. So it was like 2023. So it was like five

or more years. So it took a long time that we got put on the back

end, I find myself talking to people Oh yeah. Someday I'll

make some videos. And it's like, this year, is this kind of

ridiculous. Like it's New Years. And I'm thinking geez, honour

this project? Geez, I haven't I haven't I haven't done that yet.

Or what are we doing here? And I remember seeing your LinkedIn

and said, Oh, our friend is flow speaking flow. I should reach

out about this because I keep seeing it. And I've never

reached out there was like, oh, let's have a little conversation

and have a conversation. And then you got me going on the

first day because you just told me, why don't you just start do

it, record it. See what happens. Okay. Interesting idea. Right.

So and then we got started on that. And then on our first

session, it was a lot deeper than I thought but it really

helped uncover some of the I mean, some of the like, I think

most of the resistance to why wasn't making moves on this.

Yeah, and that happens.

How I wasn't making moves on a lot of things, you

know, if you really think about God,

yeah, yeah. Yeah. And so once that was removed

once you found that we let go the block it was like, then you

were able to create another video. Yeah, yeah. Well, making

more videos and being there's there was it's

what do you want to call it? It's somatic, right? It's a

brain brain, a brain and body connection. I think there's a

physical piece to it. And that's what I didn't realise about your

class is that I didn't realise I was how somatically inclined it

was. I thought we were going to be doing like voice exercises

Allah Allah Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah Allah, You

know what I mean? Right? In some kind of class, and it ends up

being weighed deeper in way more was more effective than what I

was expecting.

I think the truth is at because if I we tackle it

from Hey, doing voice doing hand gestures, it's like you said

it's not connecting your mind and your body your soul is not

connecting your body is like saying no, even though you

logically I really want to do this, my brains like let's go do

it. If your subconscious, which is your body is saying, No, I'm

not on board with this, you're gonna paralyse yourself. It's

just not, you won't go, it slows you down.

The authenticity won't be there, right? If you're

if you're right. And I feel like that's really the root of what,

what you're doing with your course. Right?

Thank you. Thank you. And then once you started

going, it was amazing to have you say, You know what, it was

not perfect. I'm still working through it. But then you

started, there was a click a moment where you're like, it's

actually easier than what you had your mind had put it out to

be. Right, you'd made it more complicated. It was actually,

you actually flew through, like recording a whole day, and it

flew by, and you're hot. And you're like, I even had fun,

which I

know, it gets fun. It gets fun after that block

gets there anymore. Right? Right. Once your body is not

fighting, or you're not fighting your body, and vice versa, it's,

you're slowing, right?

You're slowing, it's this flow, there's flow

between the mind and the body and the spirit and the words and

the energy around it. And that's what's going to attract you to

your clients, right when you have your energy. Because if

your body and your subconscious is not on board, like you said,

it's inauthentic, they may be saying the right words, but the

energy behind the words is not there, because their whole

system is not in alignment. So when you are in alignment with

your mind and body and soul, the energy that flows through it is

what is connecting you to your clients and attracting because

you're you're having fun, like we talked about how energy is

contagious and your work and when you are in the session

about what you're doing, and having joy and fun and

confidence around your your videos like it's going to come

across? Because Jay, you are such an like an enthusiastic,

dynamic person. Thank you. And yes. And I think that the people

that watch your, your YouTube channel will see it.

Thanks. I really hope so. They laugh and they

learn a lot.

Right? I think that's you can do that. Because

you're j you you're not just like the boring years, all the

data stacks. is not like that. It's a completely because it's

called lone Bay. I mean, just if you can't tell what's about

like, it's already fun from the title. Right? Yeah. And so

you're learning and having fun. I

didn't want to make it like, like, Hey, I'm at the

whiteboard, it'd be teach you something right here.

Exactly. Exactly.

You know, what the bad suit and all that it's like

the normal mortgage broker thing, like how I always like

never wanted to be, I think that I was so focused on that. That

part of the thing, right, like you get wrapped up in your whole

Yeah, image of perfection, right? That's what it is, is the

image of perfection or, and then you get locked. I get locked

down on that. If it's not like many people, it's not going out.

Right? It's okay. To write have perfect.

Right? And it evolves, it's going to evolve.

Yeah, and you have editors,

how about that? Mm hmm. That's what I'm working on

right now.

Any any editors out there? We need an editor. Oh, my

goodness. I'm so excited for you. I'm happy that there it's

out there and people can connect you on watch your videos. What's

the what's the next step for it?

For the videos, it's really about I think, I think

editing. But then also I, you know, one of the other goals is

to try a stand up comedy. Oh, yeah. You know, right. Yeah. And

I'm working on that too. And I think that's, this is the thing,

right is most of my friends would, they're surprised that I

have to go, I have to go to speaking coach, right? Because,

oh, you're an extrovert. What are you talking about yours? You

can along people? It's not true. I'm having a tough, I'm very shy

with new people. I have a tough time meeting new people, right?

Or this is the narrative that I would tell myself is I'm not

good with meeting new people and, of course has helped to get

away from that. Or to get into the feeling of the body, why

that's happening and how to overcome it. So that it's easier

to speak in front of strangers is tough for me. So speaking of

strangers speaking in front of camera, and then I get to go try

the new goal, which is to do open mic and go try, like five

minutes of comedy, which I've always wanted to do, is making

jokes in front of friends is easy. Like going out to into a

bar and trying to spit five minutes of jokes. Makes me

nervous to think.

But the thing the thing is, it's so interesting

that because when I know you and me knowing you, yeah, you can do

it with just your friends. And if you could just allow yourself

to do it with other people, it is we get afraid of the

judgement. But it's fascinating that when you can give yourself

permission to just put yourself out there. You know, because you

are holding back like we're missing out on Jay. Because,

yeah, we're missing out. So it's actually to the detriment of us.

So I want to let you know, like we're a little the whole world

is the CRJ. And same thing with a lot of the leaders out there

who think, Okay, I can't say this, I can't because it has to

be perfect. So but the thing is, you're already enough. You

already have it within you. So it's a matter of getting out

there, one step at a time, it may not be perfect, but the more

comfortable you get, the more you could just be yourself,

allowing yourself to just be yourself on a large stage. It's

great, and then you make that connection with the people and

not everybody is going to like you and that's okay, but you're

with the people that do like you and do like your jokes and your

comedy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I've always

I've always wanted to do comedy, but I don't think I'm gonna do

it. I'm just gonna cheer you on. I'm gonna practice on the side.

But I'm never gonna I don't think I'm gonna do open mic, but

I will take all the skills and tools and use it in my classes.

Yeah, that'd be cool. I somebody the first step. So and then Jay,

hopefully, maybe Jay, you and I are going to be doing some

classes together too, which will be fun. Facilitating some cool.

Yeah, we're

looking forward to that.

Yeah, yeah. Awesome. So is there anything

you want to say to clients in this industry right now, if

they're looking for a house like what what could you share with

them? What is a tip? One or two?

Thank you should look at my YouTube channel and

check it out and leave a comment like and follow and share. You

know, see, Lone Bay on Instagram. I think we're gonna

do YouTube first. But yeah, check it out. And let me know

what you think. I think it's it's informative stuff. And

yeah, reach out to me if you need some help.

Totally. I mean, you've got all the expertise.

You're you got integrity, you're genuine and authentic. And yeah,

Jay will help you out. Still take care of you. So check out

it. Okay.

Nobody will care more than me about Yeah,

it's so true. It's so true. Totally. And this is

one of the biggest purchase of the real life. So get someone

that cares. Correct. 100%. Yeah. Awesome. Thank you so much, Jay.

It was so nice. It was wonderful to catch up with you. Thank you

for sharing your expertise with us and also your journey with

developing and getting your YouTube channel out there. I

know that the audience is going to take away a lot from today.

So thank you.

No, thank you. You're the one that made it

happen.

Ah, thank you. Thanks. Take care. Bye bye.