Ride the Message, Not the Script With Melinda Lee

Have you ever gotten feedback that you sound

robotic after a presentation? Or that you don't sound yourself

after a presentation? Today I'm going to share with you a story

that I had just experienced two weeks ago from Waikiki. Hawaii,

you'll if you're joining me on YouTube, you'll notice I have a

beautiful wonderful tan. Too bad my pens don't stay and also my

dermatologist really upset at me for ruining my skin. But that's

another story. Today I can bring you back the experience from

Waikiki that actually surprisingly mirrors the effect

of being robotic. And how that also translates into public

speaking. Splash. Suddenly underwater, I'm blowing bubbles

on my nose and I'm, I'm looking up to try to find the surface

and and then I get up and there's noise and waves

crashing. And I'm trying to look for stability. I see my

surfboard sWINTER. My surfboard and I finally get there and I

could take a breath. Where's my surf coach? There's that orange

hat. His name is he's known as a surf guru in Waikiki. He's

phenomenal been teaching 25 years he wears orange hat, so

all of his students can find him. So I swim to my surf guru,

and I get back there. And the first thing he says to me is,

stop overthinking. You're overthinking it. In my mind, and

I'm all I'm doing is thinking about, you know, my positioning

my feet on the board. Am I looking up versus looking down?

And there's probably underneath the subconscious. I'm afraid I'm

afraid of messing up. I'm afraid of falling. I'm afraid of

hurting myself. I'm not a spring chicken. I don't want to get

hurt. So I'm afraid I'm scared. And then so he says to me, stop

overthinking it. Look at your daughter, your daughter has

picked it up so quickly. My daughter is 15 years old. Right?

He goes today, you are her sister. You're not the mom,

you're the sister. And that clicked with me. Because then I

remember back in 20s. And even my daughter's age 15 I didn't

think about anything, I didn't worry about getting hurt, I

didn't worry about falling. And, and then that's what I did. So I

just let everything go. I let whatever go that he just taught

me to do. I had to just drop it and just go with my courage. And

get up on that board. And pretend I was 20 years old and

not be afraid of falling up be afraid of getting hurt. And so I

did that I got up on the board. And as soon as I committed to

that I was able to finally feel the board stand up, feel the

water, feel the water and it made me and then adjust and then

and then I fell. But that's okay, because I stayed up a

little bit longer. And then I got up again the next time with

the same mentality of courage and no fear and, and then I

stayed a bit a little bit longer after that. And then I was able

to truly feel the water underneath the board and then

pivot on the board. And then I finally coasted and surf all the

way back to the beach. And by the end of the beach, I was

ecstatic. I was happy I screamed. I was like the surf

guru was so happy and my daughter was so proud. And it

was an exciting time I had a lot of fun surfing and and again, I

bring this up because it's it's like presentation skills. It's

like delivering a speech. Speaking to a large audience.

Many times we can overthink things. So if you ever if

someone said to you're not yourself is because you are

overthinking things. You're either overthinking things are

in your head. And so what does that mean? When you're

overthinking it, you're probably deeply afraid. You're afraid of

being judged? You're afraid of you're gonna mess it up. You're

afraid there's some fear there. And then it translates into what

am I thinking? What am I saying? Am I Am I saying the right

thing? are they judging me? So you're thinking versus being?

And when you're thinking you become robotic? When you are

rehearsing and saying the words that you've just practised the

word, every word script by you know every word in your script,

you start to sound robotic, because that's not how you talk.

People don't talk from the script. When you're talking to

your friends. Do you know every single word that you're going to

say no. And it comes out beautifully. It comes out like a

conversation. And so when you are rehearsing your script word

for word, you're going to sound robotic because you're thinking

about the Word that you're saying?

Are you thinking about how am I sounding. And so all of these

are up in our head. And we don't want that we don't want you to

sound robotic. When you sound robotic people don't trust you,

people are not connected to you, and then you don't, you're not

influential. And then you're not building the team and getting

people to get buy in into your initiatives. And so we want you

to stop overthinking. And I'm going to share some tips with

you. Today, I'm gonna share four tips to stop overthinking stop

being in your head so it can be more in flow, ease and connected

to your audience. So here's the four. The first one is practice

from bullets. The second is get centred. The third is be present

during your presentation. And the fourth is celebrate your

wins. The first one, practice from your bullets. That means

use bullets speak from your heart. Many of us write out our

presentation word for word. And that is okay. So when you go to

get ready for your presentation, you want to write out all the

words that's okay, I'm okay with that. Do your research, get all

the data and write out the words if you need to, if that

supports, you just get it all out. When you go to practice,

practice from bullets, practice from just the key words from

your script, not word for word, let that go. That doesn't serve

you. It's like training wheels. So you want an even remember,

when you let go of the training wheels, it was a little scary at

first. But once you start getting into the rhythm of the

bike, you'll be okay. So as long as you commit to letting go of

your training wheels, and commit to practising from bullets, and

speaking from your heart, you're going to know it, you're going

to feel more connected to your words. So when you practice,

practice from the key points, and then the practice in front

of people, right practice in front of your friends, or in

front of a coach like me, some other coach that practice from

the bullets. And then to get centred before the presentation.

That means taking a moment to get connected to your heart, get

connected to your competence and courage, just like I did before

I got up on the surfboard, everything that he had just

taught me he wanted me to dump it out into the water, all the

moves like the stance, he just did let it go. So you had

already spent the time researching writing out your

script. Now I want you to let it go. And trust yourself. And that

is why I want you to go take a moment to get centred because

most people before their presentation, what are we doing,

they're reading their notes, they're rehearsing it word for

word, and then your that means you're going more up into your

head. And when you're more up into your head, you're gonna

overthink things. And you're not connected to the truth of who

you are the competent person, it's a feeling, I want you to

get connected to the feeling. And if you're in your head,

you're robotic, you're not feeling

so get centred. let go and trust that you know your stuff. And

then get centred, take 10 minutes to get centred before

the presentation.

Third, once you're in the presentation, and you're talking

and communicating and delivering your presentation, when you

notice yourself starting to speed up, you're talking or if

you're talking too fast, or if you feeling very nervous, use

your breath and get present. Getting present means going back

into your body. When you're nervous. That means you're

thinking and you're in your head, go back into your body by

using your senses, the five senses, Sight Sound hearing. And

so for example, use your sight i That's the first thing I go to

when I want to get present, I use my sight and I look for

something in the room that catches my attention. For

example, the water bottle, the red water bottle, the green

plant, Jessica smile, I can use my sight then use my hearing the

humming of the car that just drove by. What am I hearing? And

so that is bringing me back into my body and not in my head.

Right? You notice when I'm in my body, I'm using my senses. I

only can use my senses through my body. And so that will bring

me to the present moment. And when you're in the present

moment in your body, you're more connected to the people you're

connected to your heart. And so using your breath to slow

yourself down to allow yourself the opportunity to slow down to

allow yourself the opportunity to get present. That is the key

overthink gain means nervousness going into your body getting

present using your senses. Then the fourth one is, celebrate

your wins. How many times have we finished a presentation and

we're ruminating on what went wrong, what I didn't cover what

point I miss. We want to also include what went well? What did

I did I do, how did I feel and transition notice some courage

notice that you did do it, notice that you gave it all your

god it gave it all you had. So what went well celebrate the

wins, closing it out that way. So by implementing these four

strategies, tips, practice your bullets, get centred before your

presentation, state prize present, celebrate your wins,

you are going to move out of sounding robotic, you're going

to move out from overthinking and staying in your head during

your presentation. You're going to move out of that, and you're

going to transition into a speaker, a leader that is

connected, that is present, that is able to be with the audience.

And allow the audience to see you for your authenticity.

Because when you're robotic, and you're trying so hard to get

things right, like I did on that surfboard, and Waikiki. That

wasn't me. So we want to step away from being so perfect and

getting everything right, because that's not you, you're

human. So practising that four steps will allow you to move

more into humanity into a person that may be imperfect that may

mess it up. And that's okay. But the the truth of is, the truth

of it is that when you allow yourself to mess up, more than

likely doesn't even happen. And so it's a wonderful process.

It's a wonderful, magical phenomenon, that when you allow

yourself to mess up more than likely you won't. And so using

those four techniques will help you to transition into that

connected leader that is respected, that is heard, that

moves people that inspires people to act, because you are

human, and you are there, you know, you're there to support

them, you know, you're there to make a bigger difference. And

you're so connected to that, that feeling that passion that

you have, just like I did, when I was on that circuit, I was so

connected to just want you to be free, and having no fear. That

is more important than the words I'm about to say the feeling in

my body. And when that is exuding from every part of my

beingness people feel it, people feel moved, people feel you, and

you can feel them. And that is the connection, that is an

inspiration. And that is what's going to move mountains. So we

use those steps. We need more leaders to feel connected, we

need more leaders to inspire others. And so join me for the

next episode. And we will continue together to unleash our

leadership voices and make a positive difference in this