Unleash Your Voice Through Listening

Melinda Lee 00:00:03

let's unleash your leadership voice today. Not in

the future. Not maybe next time, sometime soon, I will. No, let's

do it today. Because it matters. We need to hear your voice, your

voice of leadership. And part of that means that we have to stop

and pause. And ironically, listen, part of being an

effective leader. And using your voice as a leader requires that

we need to pause and listen and get intimate with the other

person and listen to the other person. And not just listening

for the words. Most of us are just listening to the other

person's words and their tone, there's more to it. When we're

listening to the words, sometimes we can get caught up

with our judgments, our own thoughts about what I want to

say, and especially if the other person is coming at you with

their fears and accusing you of something and try to blame you

for something. And so you're listening all these words. And

then you want to come and defend yourself and think about what

you're going to say and think about how it's not true and

judging what they're saying. And then when that's happening, then

we're not listening. And this is very difficult, especially if we

want to defend our perspective. And we want it our way, right.

And so all of us want it our way. But to have it your way,

does mean that we need to listen, even if it's a different

perspective. And so today, I'm going to give you some tips to

do active listening to become a better listener, in hopes that

your relationship and your communication skyrockets and

gets more close gets better, so that we can be more productive

together. And that those tips are going to come in the form of

an accurate and the acronym is place, PLA CE, the first letter

P stands for present, get present with yourself first,

meaning we're going to let go of our own thoughts, our own

judgments, our own concerns, our own opinions, and getting

present with the other person. In order to do that I like to

meditate, especially if I know I'm going to go into a conflict

someone with a different perspective. I meditate first to

clear out what my thoughts are clear out any judgments I may

have. And so I can get super centred, and grounded. And that

way I can fully pay attention be present to the other person

without chiming in without letting them know how I feel.

And that requires being present first and setting an intention

that I'm going to be curious about the other person, I'm

going to be really curious about what the other person is saying

and feeling. And then once I'm present, then you can go into

Listen, the L stands for listen, listen with empathy and listen

with heart. So focus on the other person's words, their

tone, their body language, listen for what they're saying.

And beyond that, listen also to what they're feeling. Right? How

many times have you been in a conflict, and the person is

yelling or saying some things to you. And it may be nasty, right?

And underneath that if you really listen with your heart,

you're gonna hear that the person is actually concerned,

they might be afraid, they might be concerned because they're not

being heard. And so when you can listen with your heart, and it's

difficult, do some breathing in the moment, breathe and know

that you're safe. But listen with your heart going back into

your heart with breathing, active breathing, and then that

will allow you to open up to listen to that person's

feelings. Not just the words but their feelings. And once you can

hear that, then you go into the A in place was which is

acknowledge, acknowledge the person's feelings, acknowledge

their words, use a tool called mirroring mirroring exactly what

they're saying. I hear that you were upset because the kids are

not they're always on their phone and they're not getting

good grades. I hear that you are concerned because I'm constantly

late. It's So even if you don't agree with the what they're

saying, you want to acknowledge what they're saying. And then

deeper than that, you can actually acknowledge their

feelings. I sense that you are concerned, and I sense that you

are upset or discouraged or disappointed. So labelling and

pointing out and acknowledging their feelings will help defuse

the emotion, you'll find that the calm down, because when

people's emotions are elevated, and more likely than not,

they're just not feeling heard. And so really getting good at

sensing their feelings, and just calling it out. I sense that

you're concerned, I sense that you're frustrated, you're

disappointed in me. Even though it's hard. You want to

acknowledge it, because that will then allow you and the

other person to have an understanding. And when there's

understanding there's a connection. And when there's a

connection and understanding, then you can move into speaking

and speaking confidently with empathy, with compassion, and so

we're in the C and E and place that communicate with empathy,

communicate with compassion. Communicating to let the person

know that you understand the person. And when you truly

understand the person, or connect with a person, you're

going to open up possibilities and perspectives and an

opportunity to then go into solutions. Brainstorming, like

what can we do together, that help build our relationship help

increase our understanding of each other so that we can work

more effectively together. So the next time you have an

opportunity to unleash your voice, Li, see the person into

more powerful connections. Remember, the acronym place P is

get present, eliminating, letting go of your own thoughts

and concerns and get present so you can stay focused to the L,

listening with heart, listening for not only their words, but

also their feelings, and calling out the feeling because that'll

help defuse their emotion. And then acknowledging it, again,

acknowledging their what they're saying, acknowledging their

feelings. Then finally, C and E, communicate with empathy,

communicate with compassion. And using this tool will help you

reduce misunderstandings will help you increase your

relationships, increase your connections with people. Most

people are feeling quite alone nowadays, quite alone because

they don't feel heard. And so when you can use this acronym

place, you're going to unleash your voice and lead people into

more harmonious outcomes, outcomes that generate a win win

outcomes that are productive. And so thank you so much for

listening. I appreciate you. Keep exploring, keep moving in