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In episode 87 of the Speak In Flow podcast, the wonderful Cari Stieglitz joins Melinda Lee in a heartfelt conversation about the unique challenges of communication in remote and hybrid work models.
As human connection seems to be a struggle in the modern world, Cari and Melinda chat about ways to build trust in your teamwork, bridge gaps in human connection, and learn how to use technology for effective communication. Cari shares her experience as the co-founder of women-led consultancies, to help leaders understand their team members' communication preferences, leveraging digital tools, and fostering collaboration to achieve productivity and stronger team dynamics in a digital-first world.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
How to Build Trust in Remote Teams
Trust takes longer to establish in virtual settings. Cari shares strategies for fostering trust, from proactive communication to creating moments of connection despite physical distances.
When and How to Use Communication Tools
From emails to video calls, choosing the right tool can make or break a conversation. Cari offers her experience-based advice, including what not to do, such as delivering hard conversations via email.
The Role of Workflow Technology in Team Alignment
Learn how digital workflows help standardize processes and improve clarity across remote teams, especially in technology industries with high project management complexity.
The Human Side of Communication
Melinda and Cari highlight the importance of recognizing different personalities and communication styles to build a strong team foundation early on.
Memorable Quotes:
"Trust takes time in virtual settings, but proactive communication and shared experiences can speed up the process."
"Technology isn’t just a tool; it’s an enabler for better teamwork and communication."
“When we're talking about communication, we're talking about what we can do as leaders or coworkers. I think it's recognizing that we're all human. ”
Connect with Cari Stieglitz
LinkedIn Profile: www.linkedin.com/in/caristieglitz
About the Guest:
Cari Stieglitz is an absolutely amazing leader and innovator in organizational transformation. She's the co-founder of women-led consultancies and has been dedicated to balancing people, processes, and tools for organizational success since 2003. Cari is a specialist in driving digital transformation and organizational change initiatives, helping private and public organizations implement value-driven portfolios and solutions.
Fun-facts:
About Melinda:
Melinda Lee is a Presentation Skills Expert, Speaking Coach, and nationally renowned Motivational Speaker. She holds an M.A. in Organizational Psychology, is an Insights Practitioner, and is a Certified Professional in Talent Development as well as Certified in Conflict Resolution. For over a decade, Melinda has researched and studied the state of “flow” and used it as a proven technique to help corporate leaders and business owners amplify their voices, access flow, and present their mission in a more powerful way to achieve results.
She has been the TEDx Berkeley Speaker Coach and has worked with hundreds of executives and teams from Facebook, Google, Microsoft, Caltrans, Bay Area Rapid Transit System, and more. Currently, she lives in San Francisco, California, and is breaking the ancestral lineage of silence.
Website: https://speakinflow.com/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/speakinflow
Instagram: https://instagram.com/speakinflow
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mpowerall
Thanks for listening!
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Welcome. Dear listeners to the speak in flow, podcast. Where we dive into strategies, experiences to help you and your team achieve maximum potential and flow.
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Melinda Lee: Today I have a wonderful leader. She's near and dear to my heart. I've known her for many years. Carrie Stieglitz. She's the co-founder and president of Kvolve
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Melinda Lee: Hi Carrie.
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CariStieglitz: Bye.
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Melinda Lee: I'm so glad we're doing this. Finally.
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CariStieglitz: I know.
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Melinda Lee: You're in this amazing space of technology construction. Can you tell the audience more about what you do and what is exciting in your world?
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CariStieglitz: Yes, of course. Well, my team, I think, has a unique
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CariStieglitz: skill set in that. We translate business process into technology. So what that means is we come, we meet with teams. We figure out what's working what's not working. And then we help to kind of standardize the process and use technology to digitize that process so it can be repeatable across a larger group of folks.
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Melinda Lee: Right? I mean, cause. When I think about team, I think about them separately from technology.
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CariStieglitz: Right.
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Melinda Lee: And and and it's so integrated in our world today. Especially having gone through Covid. And so what are you seeing in terms of
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Melinda Lee: virtual teams. And and how that impacts like some of the challenges that we've had since covid with integrating virtual teams.
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CariStieglitz: Yeah. And I, I love that. You're asking that because I feel like we got over the pandemic and we kept moving, not fully recognizing that some of these impacts were still happening. So when I look at virtual teams, I really like to think about the differences between our experience of being in person and what we have to do when we're virtual. So
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CariStieglitz: in some cases I've never actually met people I've been collaborating with for 6 plus months in a face to face situation and being face to face with someone having those casual downtime moments, you know the water cooler moments where you can just casually talk about somebody connect with somebody that's going to be a very, very different experience than somebody that you have to work with on a virtual basis, and not have that in person connection.
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Melinda Lee: And so what are some of the challenges that you see like it's different. So we it's different and maybe the water cooler slack is replacing the water cooler.
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CariStieglitz: I mean, it's trying to.
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Melinda Lee: It's trying to. It's trying.
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CariStieglitz: You know, especially even Microsoft, has gotten a little more casual with the ability to put in gifts and things like that.
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CariStieglitz: I think some of the biggest challenges are knowing how and when to use different virtual tools.
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CariStieglitz: Also the perspective of the right level of communication. Knowing that we have a gap in that human connection with somebody that we would experience in person. You know my saying is always over. Communicate when you're working in a virtual team. It's totally different than you know, just being able to look over at somebody and be like, Hey, Bob, what do you think about this, that and the other
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CariStieglitz: it's a very different experience. So getting connected as a team getting collaborative as a team
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CariStieglitz: is is a big challenge. It takes a lot longer, in my opinion, which is another challenge to really establish that trust. So those are probably the top 3 that I can think of is the level of communication, using the tools correctly and just acknowledging that it is different. And, you know, accommodating for that.
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Melinda Lee: Yeah. And then, what about timing? Right? It's there's difference in timing.
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CariStieglitz: Yeah, especially so, where are you talking about? Like the time of day? People work.
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Melinda Lee: That, too. And then, I think with regard to email versus, like, yeah, there's just it's disjointed. Where do we find everything? Actually, yeah.
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CariStieglitz: The gap, the gap in timing of communication. I I think that is that is definitely challenging as well, because it's not really a conversation is that you think of an email.
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Melinda Lee: Yeah.
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CariStieglitz: Into something different from a conversation.
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Melinda Lee: Okay?
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Melinda Lee: Right?
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Melinda Lee: And so what are the impacts that you're seeing that organizations are having when these things are not addressed properly.
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CariStieglitz: Yeah, I mean, I would say, just experiencing, working on projects again, most of our experiences working on projects Pre covid, we would almost always go out on site for at least a week or 2 in the beginning. Get to know people do some in person. Facilitation with sticky notes. You know. Same thing with new team members being brought on, you would have a way to kind of connect with them
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CariStieglitz: face to face. At a certain point. So I think some of the outcomes is, is honestly a lack of trust or a slow to establish trust within a team or within a project environment.
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CariStieglitz: because there's just something different about being face to face with a person in the same room and being able to see their small mannerisms, or how they conduct themselves or them casually talking about their dog or their children. You know all of these things help to establish trust within a group of people, and because those casual moments aren't available as much or there.
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CariStieglitz: I'll say they're they're less accessible to have casual moments with a virtual team. I think it takes a longer time to build trust, which, of course, brings on additional challenges of trying to work through some of the hard things when those hard.
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Melinda Lee: Things come up.
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Melinda Lee: Oh, yeah. And I mean, hard things are gonna come up. And then so when there's a lack of trust.
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Melinda Lee: it stalls. People don't do anything, and then and then you really don't. And it's I think it can be difficult to pinpoint exactly what just happened.
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CariStieglitz: Exactly. Yeah, because, you know, it's hard to say. Oh, I don't trust that team member, because.
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Melinda Lee: Correct. Yeah.
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CariStieglitz: Do trust them right. I'm trusting them to do their job. I'm trusting them to show up. I'm trusting them to speak to me honestly, but there's a different level of connection and inherent trust.
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Melinda Lee: Yes.
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CariStieglitz: I think, Forums, when you have 2 people in the room face to face.
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Melinda Lee: Right? Right? There's a synergy. And what about silos? How does that impact? Does it create some silos? Have you seen working with
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Melinda Lee: a company where there's some been some silos that has happened, because the information is not passed down.
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CariStieglitz: Yeah. And it's I would say, there's a big difference, you know, just in our our projects where we have a group of clients that would. They'll all get in the same conference room because they're co-located so they may be like, well, we don't need you to come out. We don't really wanna
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CariStieglitz: have the additional travel expense associated with that. But they'll also get in a conference room and have that human experience with each other comparing that to a team that hasn't yet kind of prioritize some in person. Time. They'll have disconnections within themselves, which is another layer that we need to kind of work through when we're talking about
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CariStieglitz: trying to get everybody on the same page to have a standardized process, we're all agreeing we're going to do the same steps at the same time. There's another layer of them kind of saying, well, wait! What about this? What about that? Within each other. And then, so we're working through that conversation within their group, as well as the conversation of us trying to actually standardize and digitize that process.
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Melinda Lee: Yeah, yeah.
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Melinda Lee: So what are your recommendations? How do you know when to meet in person versus virtual.
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CariStieglitz: Well, if I had my way I would always start a project in person, you know, at least at least a day where you get to just be around each other. Kind of experience that there are some tricks that I think help kind of break down some of the initial things, you know. Some people have it as simple as
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CariStieglitz: tell me your favorite fruit, because that's just getting a little, a little bit of accessible vulnerability. To come out. One of my favorite
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CariStieglitz: exercises is to have people draw an animal that best represents them. So I'm asking them to draw something which most people don't love to do, and then also kind of get a little deeper in what that is. And so, since everybody in the room has to do it. You know there's a little breakdown. So I love exercises like that. That kind of.
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CariStieglitz: Get everybody going, and those types of exercises, I think, are best done in person. And then once you kind of get that moving, if you're trying to save money on a project by not having travel expenses, then. Great! After that moment.
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CariStieglitz: You know. Maybe not do it in person. But yeah, early on trying to get everybody in a room together. So you get some of that initial barrier, you know, the storming norming, forming, performing.
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Melinda Lee: Yep.
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CariStieglitz: That, so that that whole, the initial forming piece of quicker you can get over that hump and start to get the to performing the better, and I think in person really helps with that.
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Melinda Lee: So what is Carrie's animal? What are you? That's the only thing I've been thinking about right now.
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CariStieglitz: I know, and it's so. It's so funny when you ask some people. Luckily I've done the exercise a lot, but mine's a fox, so you know, playful, but also can get a little serious and strategic at the same time. So.
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Melinda Lee: And I was trying to think about it for myself. Does a phoenix count.
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CariStieglitz: Yes, a hundred percent. Yes.
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Melinda Lee: Love it, love it rise from the ashes. They're beautiful and yet graceful, but also fiery. And you know, doesn't, doesn't. Yeah, doesn't they evolve? We evolve so.
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CariStieglitz: Yes.
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Melinda Lee: Yeah.
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CariStieglitz: I love that.
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Melinda Lee: Love it now. I could see the fox in you.
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CariStieglitz: See it.
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Melinda Lee: Great.
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Melinda Lee: Well, I mean, that's that. That's so helpful, at least in the beginning of the project. Get through. Because the yeah again, the stages of team forming nor storming is gonna come like it's not when it's just, or if it's when. So, having the the in person getting to know each other, learning about each other at a deeper level, whether it's like, what what animal are you, or
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Melinda Lee: what communication preferences? I have a communication preferences profiling system that I like to use with teams. So you get to know different people's what they lean with, what they prefer to use as communication style. And so those are so important to to navigate. Then when they go through the storming, it's faster so they can get into productivity and performing.
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CariStieglitz: Yeah, yeah.
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Melinda Lee: And I love that and then and then what are the tools that you suggest afterwards? Or you? You mentioned the other challenges that you don't know to the extent what communication?
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Melinda Lee: That that's important, too? Because.
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Melinda Lee: like, do I send an email about this topic, or do I text? Or do I pick up the phone? Or do I have my video call?
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Melinda Lee: Yeah, how do you know? Yeah.
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CariStieglitz: Yeah. Well, I can tell you I've learned from personal mistake. That when not to send an email. So I feel like, you know, it's, you know, especially kind of as a leader or a manager. Having hard conversations. It's easier on us to have them via email. But it's never easier on the recipient of that
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CariStieglitz: information. And so I always like to try to deliver anything that might be hard or nuanced via phone call. That's been a huge shift from early in my.
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Melinda Lee: I have a question, though. Do you do? Do you say like, Hey, I got some bad news, or do you just
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Melinda Lee: say, Hey, Carrie, I need. I need to talk to you, and then just and then not even have a pre.
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CariStieglitz: Yeah.
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Melinda Lee: Oh!
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CariStieglitz: So I I have regularly scheduled meetings with most people, even if they're not my directory.
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Melinda Lee: Yeah.
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CariStieglitz: And so like having communication frequently. And I don't remember what it is now. It's it's 8 positive things for every one negative thing. So if you don't have that continuous positive communication on a regular basis, when that you know corrective behavior comes up, you're gonna have to say, well, have I really balanced this out. You know, people
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CariStieglitz: people like to come up with things like a compliment sandwich. Well, in that moment, if you haven't been putting all this time and effort of establishing that foundation.
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CariStieglitz: That that you know, critique or criticism might come as really off balance. And so you're working the whole time on making sure that you're communicating positive things. And then, you know, when the storming happens, that's the other thing, too. And
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CariStieglitz: of course I could do better. Everybody could do better on making sure that we're constantly giving positive feedback. It's a challenge, you know, that everybody needs to continuously work on. And it doesn't have to. People always think, oh, it has to be something insane.
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CariStieglitz: No, you could just be like great email. Because if you like, if I read an email, I'm like, oh, that was so well written, and I don't communicate that. Then I'm just over here filling this. That was like a really great email. But that person who wrote it doesn't experience that positivity. And so I that's the stuff that I like. If I'm feeling. Oh, I read this, and I really felt like that was written well, and it was very succinct.
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CariStieglitz: and it really communicated the point. But I don't use that opportunity to just be like a quick ping. That was a really great email. Then that's a lost opportunity. So
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CariStieglitz: Then, when it comes down later, then, you know, if you haven't over communicated all of the other things. Then it's a little harder. Yeah.
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Melinda Lee: And that makes total sense, and especially because we have a lot lot going on. And so sometimes we think, Oh, we don't really need to do that. But like, as you said, when we're we're having conversations, and when a difficult one happens, at least you have some trust, some level of trust, some level of communication with the person and openness to yeah, going into something more difficult and challenging.
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CariStieglitz: And who doesn't know when the compliment sandwich is being used on them right like.
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Melinda Lee: No, they never.
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CariStieglitz: So they.
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Melinda Lee: You know, they're like, okay, they're bracing for it. What's the bad part.
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CariStieglitz: Oh, well, here's another not to do thing. This was not something I experienced, but just recently. You know, someone I knew. They got an email. Okay, we're gonna meet on Saturday. And they got sent this invitation. Well, it was 5 days prior, and so they had a 5 whole days of not knowing, knowing that it was going to be a hard conversation based on who was on the meeting. Invite
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CariStieglitz: them, not being able to prepare, have all this anxiety associated with that conversation.
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Melinda Lee: Yep.
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CariStieglitz: You know what a great example of lack of communication, not.
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Melinda Lee: Yeah.
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CariStieglitz: Or you know, just not understanding that human experience of them preparing to receive that bad news.
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Melinda Lee: Yeah, yeah.
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Melinda Lee: yeah, it's the most difficult thing. So yeah, having having some of these tips
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Melinda Lee: for you, consider them. Yeah, makes the conversation.
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Melinda Lee: It's still hard. But then, at least, you you're doing it with a human experience, with some compassion.
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Melinda Lee: Yeah, the other person. And sometimes we don't do it not use, maybe not knowingly. The person just probably sent the email 5 days ahead to give them advance notice right? And not really.
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CariStieglitz: Thinking, thinking, they're helping, because their communication.
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Melinda Lee: And yeah.
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CariStieglitz: Is like, I wanna know, not recognizing the other person's communication style is.
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CariStieglitz: I want to know. But I also want to know some of the details so that I can prepare myself. So yeah, and that that just goes back to you know, the simplest way is like the head and the heart, you know. I think logically so. If I'm a logical thinker, then I'm the person that like when I when I'm experiencing communication, I process that in a logical way.
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CariStieglitz: If I'm a hard thinker, I process all of the information I receive through my heart, for for you know, how does that make me feel. How is that other person feeling? And then the guy.
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Melinda Lee: I think.
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CariStieglitz: Gut is like, you know, I receive something, and I'm like, feel I'm going to do that like, you know. There'll be much more of a quick decision. Yeah, it's I mean, it's oversimplified. It's present in almost all the personality typings. If you kind of take a step back. Side. Note. My favorite one is the enneagram for that, for that it's 1 of my favorite examples of getting to know people and their communication styles, and why they communicate the way they do.
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Melinda Lee: Right? Right? Right? Right? So important.
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Melinda Lee: And I love the idea of also what you mentioned the technology, I'm gonna transition a little bit over to how do we use technology to speed up
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Melinda Lee: or make communication more effective with projects
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Melinda Lee: on a project site? You do you work with a lot of construction sites. So how do we? How are they doing it now? Versus how can we help? How can you help? How can technology help.
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CariStieglitz: Yeah, I mean, one of my biggest complaints about communication these days is email. It is, it is a very free form tool so you could use it. However, you want.
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CariStieglitz: You can use it for 2 sentences. You could use it for 10 paragraphs, right? And it's convenient. We almost always have it open. But some of the issues with email is, it's not actionable. So unless you're a very diligent person who always creates a task when they receive an email that's harder to stay on top of emails. Get lost.
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CariStieglitz: You know, not responding to somebody. I actually missed an email. Somebody texted me yesterday like, Hey, you haven't responded to this email. What's going on? I was like, oh, honestly, I just missed it. But you know that whole thing of not responding to an email. Also that Ca, can cause a person to feel like they're being ignored or they're not a priority and of course, that's not your intention, but that's the result of it. So
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CariStieglitz: we work specifically with technology that does the digital form and workflow. And so I'm a big believer in workflow. You know, shared lists where everybody could see what everybody's doing. So the technology that we work with focuses specifically on projects in construction.
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CariStieglitz: But what it does is what I love. That it does is it's all in a shared database. So you have one source of truth. Who's doing? What? Who's responsible for what? You know? Nothing like a an action item list that has a responsible person as a single person, and it's a required field, right? That sort of digital form drives the behavior of that one person
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CariStieglitz: saying, Oh, I'm responsible for this next step. And then the workflow is really helping to prioritize.
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CariStieglitz: You know, when I'm done with my piece. Now, somebody else needs to do something. So when we look at the entire business process. It keeps it from this passive form of communication, like email into this active form of communication via workflow. So that's a lot of what we do.
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Melinda Lee: Is this something you developed? Is it? Is it a platform you've developed? Or is it something that you you recommend or consult on.
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CariStieglitz: Yeah, so we use a lot of industry standard platforms. Probably. So we've done. Pm, web, we've done e builder. We focus almost most of our efforts on Kahua. Now, which is a low code platform.
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CariStieglitz: Another really strong product is an oracle primavera product called unifier. And so we've learned, and I am not an it person. So this is this is actually where I get a little bit excited about how technology is changing. Right? You said before.
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CariStieglitz: technology is not really a people thing. It's, you know, we've seen it historically, as something that's independent from how we do our daily work. And as technology is getting more accessible for folks that know a business process really well, but maybe didn't have a background
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CariStieglitz: coding. Now, all of a sudden, we're seeing technology starting to play a bigger role more effectively. Right? It's always playing a big role in our lives, but using it more effectively, especially on communication and responding to folks.
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Melinda Lee: But is it because that they're able to develop something faster on and easier.
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CariStieglitz: Yeah, yeah. So so unifier. Started becoming aware of unifier. That was probably the 1st one. And if if these are very specific industry tools, but some some related tools that people might be a little more familiar with are the apps on your iphone or some people are familiar with salesforce. So the software company provides a platform or a family
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CariStieglitz: foundation for the software, and then it gives you tools to build out custom forms and workflow or apps.
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Melinda Lee: Nice.
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CariStieglitz: On top of that. And so those are the tools that we're using that are not just in our industry, but are in a lot of industries where you can kind of see that.
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Melinda Lee: Wow!
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Melinda Lee: That's amazing. I've gotten a huge mindset shift about right in integrating technology more and having it more be
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Melinda Lee: apart.
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Melinda Lee: It's almost like a play almost like part of the team.
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CariStieglitz: Yeah, yeah, it's funny.
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Melinda Lee: And then maybe we could be the yeah, it's a person.
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CariStieglitz: Right. When we do workflows, business process workflows. It's easiest to make it a persona or have an indication. Hey, this step is a manual step. This is a meeting that happens between people, this step. You have a little icon. This one happens in the technology, right? So it is integrated now into our business process.
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Melinda Lee: Yeah, yeah.
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Melinda Lee: and so important, so critical as we can, business continues to evolve. And it's going so fast. And you know, having these systems and processes in place
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Melinda Lee: to support us in, so that we can do
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Melinda Lee: more fun things. Yeah.
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CariStieglitz: Right.
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Melinda Lee: Yeah.
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CariStieglitz: I mean a a great example of that is excel right? So it's. It's a very serious joke that excel is the number one reporting tool or technology tool that's used worldwide. Well, why, it's easy to learn. It's accessible. You can do whatever you want with it.
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CariStieglitz: But of course it has it. It has its own faults and issues. It's a single person. The person that created it is usually the only one that knows how to operate the more complex spreadsheets. Yeah.
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Melinda Lee: Gosh, I just ran into that today.
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CariStieglitz: Yes, what does this mean? Where are you getting this number for? What is this error.
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Melinda Lee: Yes.
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CariStieglitz: In front.
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Melinda Lee: Yes.
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CariStieglitz: And having to kind of chase that back. But you know.
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Melinda Lee: So, but.
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CariStieglitz: There's a great. It's a great discussion about. Well, that tool is so flexible. That's why so many people use it, and I don't have to have a developer background in order to use this tool. So that's really what I think. A lot of these technologies are working towards is making something as easy to work with as something like in excel.
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Melinda Lee: Love it, love it.
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Melinda Lee: I've learned so much today, Carrie, and I'd like to ask and like to close off with what is that one golden takeaway for the audience that you'd like to share.
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CariStieglitz: You know we've kind of tipped on it, but I think you know, to kind of put it a little more concisely. It's the human side. Right? So when we're talking about communication, we're talking about what we can do as leaders or coworkers. I think it's recognizing that we're all human. At the end of the day we bring our own
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CariStieglitz: you know, preconceived notions of what communication should and could look like, and so, I think, continuing to pay attention and educate yourself on different personalities, different communication styles.
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CariStieglitz: and then proactively having communication around that. It's again that creating that foundation as soon as you possibly can with a new team member or a new project team, so that you can continue to grow, that instead of taking a really long time to get to establish that
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CariStieglitz: that trust and formation.
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Melinda Lee: love that. Thank you. Carrie, so learning how to continue to have a human experience, build trust
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Melinda Lee: be more productive, even in our virtual digital world.
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Melinda Lee: Thank you so much for all of your tips, your strategies, your ideas to support us on that. Thank you, Carrie. Thank you so much audience for being with us. I trust that you got what you needed today, and if you have any questions or have a business construction business that you're running. And you love a better workflow with digital with technology reach out to Carrie. You can find her, her email and her information in our show notes.
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Melinda Lee: Thank you so much until next time. Take care.
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CariStieglitz: Thanks, all.
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Melinda Lee: Bye.
