Dealing With Experiences of Other People's Grief

Ian Hawkins 0:02

Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfilment and contribution, to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it, and what to do next. Before we start by one request, if any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the and Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this work, I love to hear the impact these conversations have, okay, let's get into it

Many have not have considered this before. But when others around you are experiencing grief. The grief created within you, just from going through that experience could call it secondhand grief. When we experienced someone else going through a really difficult time, there are some things that can play out to be aware of and also be conscious of for future reference. When we go into a place of sympathy, and we actually dive in and, and feel all the fields around what they're going through. It can sometimes happen when a famous person passes away. And then we end up feeling this overwhelmed with emotion in a way we don't understand. But also for people close to us. And rather than being a place of empathy and be able to understand what they're going through and be strength for them. We go into sympathy, which takes us into all of it, which creates more more of that pain for us. More grief for us more reactions from our subconscious. It can also be further grief when we don't know how to react, how to behave, how to talk to someone going through this experience. And then instead of being there for them, the unhealed part of us is triggered and and we worry and think Did I say the right thing? Am I doing the right thing? Was my reaction, okay? Instead of being there for that person, we're suddenly in our own spiral of grief. So how do we respond? We respond by taking personal responsibility. And yes, that word being very similar, is significant. Personal Responsibility is how we respond from a personal perspective, not being not responding on the external only. But coming back to our responsibility, how we will respond within ourself. And what we need to be able to process in order to one be a better support for someone else going through tough times. And also making sure that we can navigate different moments with calm with strength, with courage in a way that is in our highest interest, and in the highest interest of all those around us, particularly the person we're supporting.

Breathing so important in this space. Not going into a fight or flight response, not going into a response of just thinking about our own problems, or sharing. I've been through something like that with X Y, Zed. It's not helpful to that person. They just want someone to listen. And I've been guilty of this myself. They'd been different times where I've not known how to respond. And I'm by no means getting it perfect. Now, I just know that from having people support me through different moments by some from trial and error, but also from absorbing myself in this space for the last 10 years to learn all that I can through my own experience. Which is why I'm so passionate about passing on because I know what's possible when you come from this different perspective So be conscious Have it be aware of it. Be aware that it might have happened recently, particularly as we've gone through the last two and a half years, last two and a half years of plenty of grief the loss of certain elements that we will be growing accustomed to. Unfortunately, the loss of people close to us the breakdown of different things, businesses have relationships. If nothing else, this time is laid all our different insecurities bear for ourselves to see and to address.

So, if you come back into that place of personal responsibility, how can you respond in a way that's most befitting yourself and then, and you've come with that intention, you can't go wrong.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief, let's chat. Email me at info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at a Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favourite podcast platform