Ep 441 - Avoiding Your Passion Because Of Fear

Ian Hawkins 0:02

Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it and what to do next. Before we start by one request, if any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the Ian Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this word, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it.

People people I speak to have been in a same similar career for most of their life. And I always think they sound perfectly suited to their role. And generally conversation goes pretty similar. You must love what you do like seems perfect to your personality and your skill. So they'll either yes or no. It's pretty standard response actually. And if it's something about getting to that age where you're starting to question whether you want to be doing this for the next 1520 years until retirement age, we start questioning things. We'll also know as a heap of them dabble in little side projects that love the term side hustle because it doesn't have to be a hustle. Just a project hassle word starts becoming not enjoyable. Generally doing something on the side that gives them joy that feels meaningful, that interests them thoughts that come to mind a few people getting the beehive and and sharing it with friends or maybe even selling other people setting up little stores of some kind. And I love it. Like go for it like try something. I spent so many years just too scared to try something to have a crack and wasted opportunities. Now of course sometimes I just think well everything worked out for a reason I'm I am where I am now. And I'm really happy with that. One example was when I finished my PE teaching degree was a one of my mentors at the time he was of coach cricket coach in mind. And he said, What? What I'd suggest is approach primary schools and see if they'll do specialist PE coaching because I will say how much I love the primary school coaching at that age group. I love to coach and when I'm coaching football, I love that as well. They're just so keen to learn and they learn really quickly, particularly in that sports space. And he said that there will just be so many teachers going yes, please come and we'll pay for that. I remember thinking that all sounds a lot of hard work and a bit too scary. So I didn't do it. But in the 10 years following that, so we're talking mid 90s 10 years following that. This this area started to get pushed actually probably not even probably 10 years after that not for the 10 years. Like so 10 years on from that so 2005 These type of businesses started to pop up there I find listen to them, and I'd got it earlier I'd started building a business and I would have been good at it because it's something that I enjoy and I am a naturally good at who knows where I could have led but you can feel held me back. Even when I started this business I wasn't really sure what how I was going to do it which was going to do it but the good five years there were went really slow because of the fear. And no doubt there are still times now where I could be doing things better and faster and there'd be an unconscious fear that slowing me down, no doubt. But there always is there's always something next layer. So the question is for you is are you prepared to push past and your comfort zone to bring more joy into your life? Why would you not want to? One of the biggest fears is people are worried about what they might find. If they start taking that role, how others might see that What emotions might come up? And one of the biggest ones? What would it feel like if this is successful? And I'll say this to a few people, and they don't fully understand that, oh, no, I'd love to have success and all those different areas. The reality is something different unconsciously. It's like, well, if I get that good, it's gonna bring lots of attention on me. And most people have had their ability to be seen and heard suppress from a young age. And even though they want to be hugely uncomfortable initially, not everyone, but a fair chunk. And the other thing is, particularly in Australian, probably similar in the UK, maybe lesser so in the US. And I'm sure in other countries too, but particularly prevalent in Australia, this cutting people down who are too successful, tall poppy syndrome we call here in Australia. And it keeps people safe. And it squashes dreams. Because people would rather keep their head below the parapet and not have it shut off. And it takes courage. I know initially, when I started out this business and started do social media and having people come at me and attack me or make phone or whatever. And I found that really challenging initially, and till I overcame that fear. Sometimes, my family members get quite challenged by that and don't love it. But again, they're getting an opportunity to face their fears as well. To the point where I now pretty open with most things and people can bring whatever they bring in, I'll just respond with love with strength with certainty, but with love. not aggressive, I'll be assertive, I'll stand my ground, particularly in something that I know, and I believe to be true. Bring it but it's taken time to grow that has taken me staring down fears. And I can tell you that project is one that you will never regret, you will always see how it was worth to take on that fear. Because ultimately Everyone wants their story told everyone wants to be seen, everyone wants to be heard. And everyone wants to free themselves of the monotony of the repeated patterns from the day to day. There's nothing like chasing or pursuing or being curious, around passion. Particularly that passion is linked to some form of purpose. When I say purpose, look at it really simply like this. If it is in line with something that you would never want anyone else to go through, because you went through it yourself. That's where I see purpose. So when you've experienced something in your life, and you know how challenging it was, how difficult that was, and you come out the other side and you're like man, I hope no one has to experience that. That's where you find purpose. And if you can marry passion and purpose. Fear might still show up but they'll still be a desire to move past that fear because it will fill you with so much joy, so much fulfillment and set you on a path that you will absolutely love and hold ultimate destination is the ability to navigate any of these situations. With strength. With calm with poise, and keep moving forward. Then you can take on anything.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief, let's chat. Email me at info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform