Ep 471 - The Grief Of Betrayal

Ian Hawkins 0:02

Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it and what to do next. Before we start by one request, if any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the Ian Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this word, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it.

There are going to be moments in your life where you feel betrayed, where you feel let down where you feel that people have done your wrong to given what you're going to experience that some people's experience with that is going to be more painful than others. Anything from a breakup of a relationship, maybe someone go can behind your back. Being held faithful. Anything really where you feel like someone's done new role in some way. And of course it hurts, it hurts your heart. That feeling of betrayal, broken trust. And it can have an impact, significant impact. One of the things that comes up. And sometimes people will feel this and other times they block out. But it's really intense anger, feelings of resentment, even feelings as strong as revenge. Now, I'm not saying you act out on those. But it is important that you processes emotions, because they're normal emotions, and they are okay for you to feel them. Because if you continue to bottle them, or suppress them or push them down, it's gonna have a negative impact on how you're feeling, it's going to have a negative impact going forward for a long time. Because all of that will sit in your system and manifest in other ways. One of the other things that shows up strongly is that people place blame. They blame other people, other circumstances on the situation. And we get that right? Like it's a moment that's out of your control in terms of the ultimate moment. So you blame and you blame and you blame the natural reaction.

Inevitably, though, you end up turning the blame on yourself. At some point, you'll start looking at it. This is the nature of grief. And you'll think, what could I have done differently? How could I have done this differently? What if I'd said this? Well if I'd done that, and so you blame and that's not helpful either. Because in you that look of disdain, you may have given that person that's done you wrong, you now turn on yourself

and by doing that you're taking away your power

not only can you look at your responsibility through any of these moments, because if particularly if it's a relationship, whether it's a partner, or just someone really close to you. There's always two sides to every situation. There's always moments that lead up to any event. So there is an element of responsibility there. But the greatest responsibility lies in how you're going to respond. Your ability to respond. And what you're going to do differently take it as a learning experience. This has played out my life. I can't control that. Ask yourself, How long am I going to sit wallowing in this pain? And what am I going to decide that I want to respond differently, I don't want to make changes. No one can decide that for you. But at some point, you do have to make that decision. It has to be a conscious choice to decide I'm going to go forward in a different way now. I'm going to find a way to make peace with this hurt to be able to move forward without this causing me these unhelpful motions because it is a choice. And only you can make that choice. And once you do, it will change everything. It'll change how you feel. It will change how you see the world and you'll be empowered to improve

and that doesn't mean that necessarily that the pain leaves straightaway and grieve as a way of coming back in waves. Oftentimes the at least expected or least wanted. But the waves do calm and the waves do pass. And they do say by you, making their commitment to yourself and taking the action that you know needs to be taken.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief. Let's chat. Email me at info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform

Transcribed by https://otter.ai