Regulate Your Emotions Through Physical Training with Michael Sack

Ian Hawkins 0:02

Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back. You've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it and what to do next. Before we start by one request. If any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the and Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this work, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it.

Welcome everyone and welcome this week's guests Michael sack and Michael have a

Michael Sack 1:08

fan. Fantastic. How are you?

Ian Hawkins 1:11

I love it straight into who told me before you jumped on about just being authentically yourself. And if people don't like it, they can get fucked, basically. So we just got straight to it. Yeah. I love the logo there. So your, your PT and you're helping people to get to get strong. Do you love that side of it yourself?

Michael Sack 1:34

I love it made it's it's been a passion of mine for for a long time. And I was like, Well, I did a lot of different careers. And then eventually I was like fuck it. I'm just gonna go back into go back to study it and got certified about three years ago. Pretty much the rest is history.

Ian Hawkins 1:59

Awesome. So when you say you you've always been into it like from a young fella. You've always just loved the physical fitness

Michael Sack 2:05

yet. Know when I was about I think I was about four years old. I started playing soccer, football, whatever you want to call it. And from that point onwards, it was it was one sport after the next to whether it was soccer, rugby, swimming, golf, golf, believe it or not. I did a lot I was I ran a lot and swam a lot. And then about seven years ago, I got into Brazilian jujitsu. And and that's what I do today.

Ian Hawkins 2:42

Awesome out of that. If you've watched any of the previous episodes, I'm sure you've watched them all. Just Jacob Frey Barker, I interviewed a few weeks back who actually has his own school, his own venues. Yeah, he's got a few venues around the country. He big one if you listened to him, he's a great man. Cool. And of course, for the listeners too. If you haven't checked that one out, go and check it out. Frank's a very funny dude as well. So we were talking before he jumped on that, like you've had a it's almost like a a cascading effect of different life events that have happened since since the initial big moment. So tell us, Michael about that. That sort of big moment that really started changing your life, what unfolded and how that impacted you?

Michael Sack 3:34

Where do you want me to start

Ian Hawkins 3:36

talking about you were talking about that? You'd been in a relationship for three years. And then you went through this massive stress period. And that resulted in a massive physical reaction from your body.

Michael Sack 3:46

Yeah. So just to give a little bit of context, I was living overseas in Israel, I grew up in a very scientistic household, went to a youth movement where they promoted a living in Israel and working in Israel. So working to that and this and that, and a whole bunch of a bunch of other stuff. When I finished my studies, when I finished TAFE the natural progression for me was to move to Asia and my best mate. He still lives there. He moved there just before me, and I followed. I followed suit. Fast forward. Fast forward a little bit. I was going out with this one. I was coming out with this one girl and living in Israel. Yeah, it's there's a lot of amazing things there. But it's also a super tough country. I was working hard. Our relationship at the time was very, there was a lot of tension and nothing was weren't working through such tension. Eventually just built up built up built up hilltop hilltop and then event and then eventually, I had a seizure, believe it or not, between the lack of sleep and stress, it kind of lead to some really fucking devastating things. And I just have a look at it fucking it's hard. I had a seizure. You flipped my life upside down for the good and for the others, like there's pros and cons to everything. Yeah.

Ian Hawkins 5:39

So just firstly, physically, like, you had a seizure. But we then like we talked and rushed to hospital sort of territory. Yeah. And what what were what was that whole it? Were you unconscious through all of that? Or like What do you remember if that actual date.

Michael Sack 5:57

So it was actually a three o'clock in the morning I was super, it was really really late to I've I was asleep. And my ex at the time she came, she came in permission to say this, but she can't remember. And she was like she was drunk. She had a bit of drinking problem. But we had a we had an argument and I had a seizure and then afterwards, I don't remember having a seizure. But what I do remember is waking up my ex holding one arm a paramedic on the other. And the paramedic asked me to run away Oh, we've no idea. Do you know where you Oh, what time it is? Basic questions. I had no idea. This was this was maybe I was told all of this? I didn't I didn't know it at the time. Yeah. So I was obviously in shock. And or was like, when anyone who gets knocked out or gets or gets hit in their head. Everything is upside down and inside out. You don't know what, what's what, or whatever. It was only when I got into. It was only when I was admitted into the hospital and one of my ex friends who were there. I this was the first time in a really long time that actually just started bawling my eyes out. I was

Ian Hawkins 7:39

scared. Yeah,

Michael Sack 7:41

I was. I was most scared. Because of what happened. Of all those things. It just built up. And at the time, I wasn't really the emotional type, I would just be like strong and hold it in. It's very typical Israelis, you were in that in Israeli that will bore their eyes out or unless something fucked up has happened. It's a stereotype but it's true. Yeah, Israelis as stubborn as a mule. It was, it was a monumental experience in my life to say the least.

Ian Hawkins 8:25

or so. So just me knowing how the body reacts in different to different situations, it kind of feels like all of that emotion that you'd been suppressing for years. All just came out in a flood in that moment.

Michael Sack 8:40

Yeah, very much, very much.

Ian Hawkins 8:43

Do you think the suppressing would have contributed to the seizure? Or? Yeah,

Michael Sack 8:49

absolutely. When you can't, when you don't know how to regulate emotions, stress, whatever it builds up. It was like being a being a personal trainer I do I have a holistic approach. I do have a holistic point of view. But when you have a lot of like, stress, or whatever, there's going to be a tension, a certain tension or right on your chest. And I'm sure I'm not the only one who can relate to this. Yeah. But if you can't regulate and let it go in a healthy fashion, it builds it definitely builds up I'm sure there's more into it. But yeah, when you push everything down and suppress it, it's probably not the best decision

Ian Hawkins 9:48

Yeah, but as you say, it's very it's very normal thing to do. You mentioned Israel it's very much the case. Well, it's as you know, it's it's very much the case in Australia as well, right. We might be getting better but Typically we spent a lot of time suppressing. So I think a lot of people can relate. And, you know, I've spoken to other people around similar scenarios where it's like, they can put it down to the fact that when this particular thing happened, because they hadn't been dealing with it, then other things played out. So I love that you've, you've highlighted that and just call it out for what it is because it's important for people to realize exactly what you said, but having that ability to regulate emotions. So I'm particularly drawn to the ability of physical training, I know you do holistically, but physical training in itself is massively beneficial for the regulation factor.

Absolutely. That's the one so one thing that I love and being able though to be the catalyst of change for someone, it was small libido, when I'll give I'll give a give an example. That's a guy that I want on my current clients, his obviously I'm not going to name names or whatever. But his mom leading up had some pretty serious and surgery and I was like, from the GP to the specialist and everything leading up leading up to that felt a fail to that he was under a lot of pressure and rightfully and rightfully so, to Mommy's having she's having a major surgery and a male being able to get him through a tough workout

helped a lot. They're awesome. Now given you so you come up with that holistic approach, like what other things do you add in which will be different from your typical PT to help people without emotional regulation?

For one I think nutrition a place and massive pot where every food is on the every food is on the table No pun intended. But every food is on the table. There's no good or bad there's just equal so obviously if you ate a fucking block of chocolate and now it's bad about having a having like a piece of chocolate every now and then that's not bad at all. People need to change the conversation around the around food and not be so tight.

Yeah, that's so good because it's often often that the guilt and shame around what people are eating the causes the most drama, right? But it's like the intention you put behind the food like everything's energy, the intention you put around what you're putting in your mouth, that's gonna have massive, massive impact.

Sure. Also, also believe very in, okay, well you have when you're overtrained. Take the time to actually rest to some mobility work, stretch, go for a walk and give you give you a give your body a day off. And then the next day you will see that your workout is so much better than trying to push or when you're when you're just tired. And you overtrained.

Yep it's all sorry, say that, again.

A believer in that?

Yeah. Massive, massive. It's, it's almost like otherwise, exercise just becomes another addiction, right? You keep pushing yourself and you keep flogging yourself to a whole other level. It's not healthy. So I'm, I'm curious to hear more about the aftermath of the seizure. So you said in the moment you didn't remember and that was all really strange, but like, how long did the the physical effects of that seizure impact you?

Physically, not that much. Other than when I fell, I whacked my shoulder. I fell on it hard. Luckily, I didn't break anything. But now, one shoulder when I go up against the wall, one shoulders higher than the other. So that's the only physical aftermath. Everything else was fine other than this.

Yeah. Anyone who's sat at a computer for long periods of time using a mouse would probably have the same sort of shoulder I know what I'm my right one's a little bit different now from many years in corporate seeing they're using a mouse so I'd much rather do it that way than falling after a seizure. That sounds awful. So you go from is that was that pretty much the end of the relationship or the beginning of the end?

Or the beginning of the end. Shortly after that the relationship to come to an outcome, remember how long afterwards, but shortly after the relationship ended, and I remember coming back from work, and seeing all my clothes and all my bags on the outside of the door, she threw fucking everything out. Wow. So on a Friday evening, for those that don't know, Israel or the Middle East, they work from Sunday to half a Friday, most most times, I was doing five and a half days. Most people work Sunday to Thursday and then have Friday and Saturday off. So I come home after half a day of work or working construction. And it's Friday afternoon, it's Friday evening, and I have no way to go home on the factory I do. I call up one person, he doesn't answer. Okay. I call up another mate of mine. years ago is a absolute absolute godsend. I love this guy. It's a bit like give him a call, like, Hey, I have a bit of a situation. Can I crush the job place? He's like, Sure. And likely he was just around the corner. It was about a 510 minute walk. So I ended up he said you can stay here for a couple of days. I should Okay, well, I gotta after a couple of days. I gotta figure out where I'm gonna go. That that stay lasted about four months. Well, insane. So I was still working. I was still trying to hit jujitsu, right? I never stopped. I never stopped. I could jujitsu has been my absolute godsend. It's really helped me through some really tough times in my life. And I'll keep doing it till the day I drop. Anyways. So yeah, I stayed. I stayed at this guy's place for about four months. What? Where else? Do you want me to go from this?

Well, I guess it's I'm always curious about the impact of that, like, we talked about the physical impact of the seizure. But I imagined the the emotional side of that may have lasted longer. And then straight off the back of that you kicked out and all the stuff thrown on the street, like what was your What was your headspace like in the in the aftermath of all of the

survival

here, and how to survive? Had a survival play out for you? What sort of signs show up for you? Once you said how do you know you're in survival mode?

That's a really good question. I don't know how to I don't know how to explain it. I think I actually have no idea how to explain it. I think so survive. You're going?

Also it's like you got a sense of it. But but it was like was it your thinking? Or is it only in looking back now with with hindsight that you're able to see that as to what you're in.

It was even then, I was like, even at that very moment in render when I was thrown out, blah, blah, blah, all that other stuff. It was it was just immediate. It wasn't there wasn't a hindsight, it was my god. Close. I've got I still had a job. I was doing security. It was I need a roof over my head. And I need some food in my belly. That was the first thing that I was thinking about. So it's like all other luxuries. Everything else was just out the window. I was like okay, well, I've got all these clothes I got all this shit. I need a roof over my head kind of thing. Yeah.

And it's amazing when we're in those really difficult times how we fall back to those, those foundational elements Maslow's hierarchy of needs, right? It's like what are the minimum minimal things we need for? for survival? And it's yeah, all those things you described. Safety roof over your head food is massive. So how, because I know like one of the big things that we're going to talk about is, you know, shifting mindsets. How were you able just to keep moving yourself forward? Without having that support of your mate bear? who's taken your in? Or was it somebody else that was allowing you to move forward? Or was literally just it's in that survival mode, just like I'll just get through the next hour or the next day and see where we go.

I had a job at a job that I was allowing me to bring some cash. And I actually just, and that was it.

Why is jujitsu? So So pivotable when that journey and also now how you've already said it's going to be will be to the day you die? Like what what is what did it give you? And what is it still giving you that? Perhaps nothing else could have at that time in your life?

So firstly, it was the support. It's the support him more than more than anything, it's an hour and a half out of your day where you don't have to think of the outside problems. You just don't you have quote unquote, this imminent threat, where some guys trying to strangle you or rake your limb. And now obviously, you're going to weigh out you can tap into the person that's a goat. But when it's the closest thing to a fighter, but it's controlled, so you don't have to think of any outside bullshit. Yeah. You just don't. So when it's so when you have an amazing community of people that love the sport, and you have a professor, I'm getting emotional thinking about it. But when you have a professor that actually genuinely cares about you it it means the absolute world. It was like it was amazing. Yeah, it was so good.

Yeah, and, and given what you've just been through prior to that where you weren't getting that support. And you've got this place that you know you can rely on that must have just been massively one year emotional.

I haven't talked about it in a while, but it was absolutely basketballs like that was that was yeah, it was the only reason why I Yeah, it was the only reason why I stayed in Jerusalem. But for that reason, that was why I was living in a main city. There's a there's a whole bunch of main cities around throughout Tibet to Jerusalem and Tel Aviv. And that was the only reason why I stayed out was like, I'm paying. Like, I'm working to pay for jujitsu and that's it. Yeah.

So, you said you got emotional or what was it that that professor gave you that? Intangible right that the the the unspoken part of what he was able to provide for you that you so desperately needed at that time?

It was just that it was just that break from from the from the reality? Yeah, I told him like he helped me through not only that, but also like relationship issues. I would go to like I would do a class within. So here's a blacked up. I wasn't wiped out at the time. So experience wash was astronomical. But he helped me through. He helped me through that. talked about a lot of different stuff. But uh, yeah. Really, just, you're just there to listen and it can be He tried to help me find a place to live at the time. He's a guy from Jews for Jesus. So he had a whole community behind him. And he reached out to a whole bunch of people and asked, and nothing really came from it. So but he was going out of his way. He's a, he runs a school.

He has, oh, he has his own family. And he went out of the way, which was huge. opened up his heart in a really big way.

Awesome. And we've all had moments in our life when we've needed someone like that to come and come and help us at our greatest need. I don't know about you, but for me, because it's happened for me so many times, I just have such a strong desire to give that back to other people that I see in similar places to where I was helped.

Right? Yeah. In hindsight, I was thinking, everything is happening to me. But leaving Israel coming back to Australia, and changing the way that I saw these events was happening for me at the time, and when you're going through, when you're getting when you're going through the shit. So why the fuck is all of this happening to me? Why me? Why me? Why me and my wife, and it's easy to do that. And I don't blame you, by any means. But when you change the narrative around, it's happening for me, not to me. It just stress is relieved. So fucking quickly. Yeah.

Yeah. Simple, simple shift, but massive. Come on. Absolutely. So good. So you said well, you're still there. Then after you after you have that four month period, you actually moved out to a village? Why did you move? Why did you make that move? Was it for opportunity? Because you said it was actually moving away from the support that you had in your life?

Yeah. So I had a while I haven't made a good mentor of mine. He said, he's still living there years. He's been there for a while. And he was living this hippie lifestyle where he wouldn't, he wouldn't work. And pretty much he was living with other hippies, I would live in the forest or the desert, or whatever. So I was like, I gotta get out of the city. It's too chaotic. And so I got myself a job working in agriculture. And it was so far away from everything. There was literally to get to the closest city was about an hour and a half bus ride. Yeah, so it was there was literally nothing I had to do other than work, sleep, and smoke duck. That was it. But my maid at the time was living there not too far away. So I was like, I need to get away from the city. And just be by myself with these other guys that that will just doing the same thing. Yeah, that was my, that was my call. That's what I wanted to do at the time

was a part of that. removing yourself from that, that you can identify now is really quite healing.

I wouldn't say here, because I didn't really do the healing work. If I don't really like the I don't really like the wood healing because it's thrown around. I wasn't doing the necessary groundwork to move through traumatic experiences. I wasn't doing that by any means. My thinking of moving forward was isolating myself, not isolated in a boat and moving away from my friends at the time. And just smoking weed. And that's what I thought would help. But they didn't. So

I think it's like anything like that, right? It needs to have structure and it needs to have context. And as you as you rightly said, you actually need to be working through the trauma that you've just been through. So given that you didn't work through that, of course, what the inevitable happens which is another The massive moment to tell us a little bit about the lead up to that moment and what unfolded for you there.

So, at the time, I was still working in agriculture. So you'd wake up bright and early like superduper early before the sun. Because by the time the sun comes out, the Israeli sun is so hot, even when it's wet, even when it's winter, by the sun comes out, that's still really, really hot. So I was working in agriculture, working up superduper early working on my ourself, I'd get back into my apartment, I would have a 15 minute nap. And then I would jump on the bus and my jump on the bus to go to trade shows up to twice a week, I was like, juicer was the one thing that kept me sane, I'm gonna keep doing it, it didn't matter, the distance didn't matter the cost, I was just going to do it. But the cost was now in a half their trade for an hour, hour and a half. And then an hour and a half bus ride back. And I did that almost essay three times a week. So if while you're trying to juggle the both of that with not a lot of sleep, it all adds up really quickly. And then eventually, after doing that for about four months time with with a lot of sleep, all that other stuff. And obviously when you're when you're smoking weed, it doesn't. It doesn't. It just suppresses that you think of that you're working through this kind of stuff. But you're not. You're really not waiters. I'm a huge advocate of it. But it's a drug done irresponsibly can really fuck you up. Nonetheless, I had a nother meltdown. Too much stress on my shoulders. And in the middle of in the middle of the field. In this massive field, I just had a complete meltdown on my I can't keep doing this. Yeah, that was hard. Yeah, it was, it was challenging at the time for sure.

Physically, or more just mentally, like you're just like, both yet. So to describe the describe the scene, and then what unfolded

describe the same. So I was I think I was picking I was picking some kind of fruit. I don't remember what I think was picking grapes. You have to think about this field is Hector has logged it really fucking. So with all of that stuff happening with all of that stuff happening, and it's just you and your thoughts, and you're exhausted and you're doing this physical work. I'm trying to paint a picture of that. All the odds are stacked against all the odds are stacked against Yeah. Not trying to turn out to be this victim or whatever. But just going back to where it was to where I was. Yeah. Yeah, it was just you just collapse. You just like when you stuck in your own head, and you have no way to get it out. It's yeah, I was like, I can't keep doing this. I just can't.

Yeah. Is your mind going to sort of doomsday sort of thought processes? Yeah, they think about worst case scenarios about everything's like, yeah,

it's what a lot of people like to refer to as hitting rock bottom where you don't think you can go any lower. But then your rock bottom is going to be vastly different to somebody else's. So when it's a complete and utter feeling of helplessness. It's, it's terrifying at the time. But it also gives you an opportunity to rebuild. So you can either stay in that miserable state for the rest of your life or you can say, Okay, it's time for it. It's time for me to do something different. differently can be anything. That doesn't mean that you're going to be this world class speaker of the night. But just do something different different than than what you were doing at that very moment. So it's like, either turn left or turn right at the green pill, the blue pill, gray pilgrim.

And I love how you describe that, because I think so many will be able to relate to that. Having been through those dark moments myself, and then it feels exactly like you described the slot that helplessness terrifying. And then ultimately, exactly. It is like a well, there's an opportunity here. So what was the opportunity? And how did you find it?

So shortly afterwards, about a month later, a month and a half, almost two months later, I got a call from our moms are fucking superheroes. They just know. They just know when you go through shit, I got a call from her. I was like, Hey, Michael, you want to come back to Australia for a holiday. And I like apps loosely. At the time, I go to a new job as working with sheep. So what So working with animals, there's no real rest, you're always at the back end of these animals, always. So it's like, you have a day off. Oh, there's a cow. That's sick. You have to stop what you're doing and go, take care. Gotta take care of her that, like your baby calf is a baby calf is sick, you have to drop what you're doing and do that. So I started working on this new job. And I told the guy, absolute, absolute sweetheart. And I'm like, Hey, I'm covered. I'm going back to Australia for the time was a month. And then when I come back, I'll be good to go. Yeah. That was five years ago. Six years ago.

He's still waiting easy. He's still waiting for you to come back.

He's forgotten about me. Maybe he has maybe hasn't?

Is it an amazing? It's like a sixth sense for mums just seem to just seem to know, when there's something needed. How good are they? So So you go home for a holiday in inverted commas. But then what what was the catalyst for you to stay?

So at the time, I had a mentor of mine. I started off in a network marketing company called new skin. And he was doing well for he was doing well for himself. But he was also doing NLP. I didn't know he was doing I had LP. But I saw how drastically his his life changed. And he was smoking. He was making good money. So I'm like, I need to have those good money, and I need my life to be changed. So I came back, I got in touch with him. He got me in touch with this with his coach, Lou Calkins. And he did not stop calling me. He just called me and called me in incessantly. He just opened and over and over and over again. Fuck Okay, I'll do a course. Yeah, and the very first course was NLP. And I knew nothing about it. I was like, This is intense, because I'm going to be doing a lot of very tough work in a very short period of time. So there's good pros and cons, obviously. But yeah, that really started me on my personal development journey.

To me, the the greatest gift in learning to be an NLP practitioner is the healing that you undergo in that week of training yourself, right.

So we weren't we're first cluster was 12, guys.

Yeah. So what did you get out of that training? In terms of your own, in terms your own shift in

a lot that was involved in one point. It was, it wasn't just one thing. It first allowed me to really I don't even know how to point out. The first one was allow me to really move on and from, from my granddad passing away, I wasn't able to regulate that very, either. I didn't handle that very well. So allow me to move forward slightly a little bit from that. Didn't help me through the previous four years leading up leading up to that all the experiences I had any issue that helped me take a step forward? I wouldn't say a complete healing, because this the only time everything is completed is when you're six feet under? Never yet. Yeah. So I'll just say it the way it is. So when someone says I'm completely healed, it's bullshit. It's like, yeah, okay, you can take a massive step forward. Yes, you can improve your life drastically. Yes. I am not saying, I'm not saying that. But they say you're completely healed, which human? We have so many fucking emotions running through us on the Daily. It's like, I'm fully healed. Cool. Yeah, I'm gonna go the other way. Now.

Yeah, I'll speak to the end of the day after you've interacted with a whole lot of other humans. And you can answer that same question and see if you still feel like that. I think that's without trying to scare people listening. But that's really an important point to emphasize is it's not, it's not like we go, Oh, I was going to peel this layer back and everything will be fine. It's like, no, no, no, we continue to do what we need to continue to get to the improved version of us. Otherwise, you just keep going back and recycling the same event or the same pattern over and over again, right.

And after that, shortly afterwards, I did shall they afterwards? I did, as I did to NLP, and then I did a master prac for those 14 days. And that was even more intense, because you're doing you're doing timeline therapy, you're reassessing your values. And when you're going through a timeline therapy, and you're doing reassessing, reassessing? Are your values need to know what are your values, what I'm not talking about a writing an entire book of it, at least and knowing where you stand on your first two. So the first two for me, health and growth, growth is scary. But growth is also multifaceted. So you get to choose where you want to grow. So I learned this only recently. It can either be through your profession, it can either be through your personal development, it can either be through whatever, learn how to skydive, if you want to learn how to read a book, or write a book, if you want to, it doesn't matter. But at least and knowing what your first few values are, and taking the time to know that is makes life pretty easy. Because you know where you want to direct your life. Someone

it's like a daily decision making process, right? You know, when your values are, am I running through that filter? Am I actually living to those key values?

Yeah, so also, it also takes courage also takes courage to to do that. But when you know, the values is a big wood, but to put it a lighter, more simpler, the things that you like to live. It's like are you doing the things that you like doing? Going to the gym, Jujitsu, surfing, swimming, hanging out with cool people. You don't have to make it such this grandioso thing.

Yeah. And the simple things in life that are so important to you are massive. And it's amazing even you talk about now I think about how many people I've spoken to who think that I will once I do this, I'll make time for all of those things. But they all drive everything. You have to have those in place first, right? What do you mean? Having having those key elements like hanging out with cool people doing the things that you love that they're the drivers that actually give you the fuel for the rest of it, not the other way around?

Yeah. I'm realized, I'm realizing more and more that you can't have. To live to live in a world you have to have a bit of both. Because it's like, you can't be living on cloud nine 24/7. It's just, we live in, we live on Earth was surrounded by different people that sometimes have to do things so that we don't enjoy, I'm doing a job that that I don't enjoy by any means. But it allows me to do a lot of different stuff allows me to go to the gym and teach you to to serve to swim or to do all this fun shit. And but it doesn't mean I'm going to be there for the rest of my life.

And I think the thing that people get muddled on is, is comparing time and priority. Sure a job, it can take up a heap more time, that doesn't mean you're putting more priority on it. It's just making sure you are prioritizing the other things enough at the level that they need to be to feel the rest of it. And like I'm more than happy, doing a lot of work in a given week, because I love what I do. But it doesn't mean I'm still not finding the smaller times to prioritize what I know fuels me to what actually fills me up and I'm not jujitsu, but the the other elements for me that that are serving the same purpose for me, as you said, they regulate emotions, they have that holistic approach, it's a physical release of different things. There's just so important to build that into your head daily habits. Sure. So you go from having these different careers. Even now you're transitioning out of out of a current role to making PT more of your thing. What What was the sort of tipping point where you went, alright, already. I've done the mindset stuff, I now know how to not only change myself, but But change other people's lives. What was it that was the tipping point that got you to realize that pte was going to be the next thing that you wanted to get certified in?

While I did a lot of careers in Israel, and in Australia, and Sydney, and I got to a point where I was like, I'm tired of doing other things that I don't enjoy. And exercising, and bringing friends along to exercise. I liked it, I really enjoyed it, I really enjoyed it. And selfishly, my, the way that I saw personal training wasn't to impact other people that came secondary. First one for me, it was I can make a career out of it. And that's super important. That's super important. And I also value stability. No one wants to slacker that, at least for me, that feeling of the unknown scares the living shit out of me, and I'm sure it does for a lot of other people. But knowing that it's a career, and that it's also a passion is like wanting to win. So I worked part time at a startup driving around doing deliveries. While I was also studying three years, three years ago, I got certified as a PT.

Yeah. Awesome. You mentioned a word there that kind of ties into a theme of a lot of the stuff you mentioned stability. And I felt like it's a real big part for you, you know, giving you that certainty. You've talked about support, and how important that was for those survival times as well. But all of those things you're talking about. They're all elements of support. So twofold. Question. What? How do you place the importance of support in your life? And secondly, actually, I'll answer that one first. Then we'll come to the next question. Yes. So how, how valuable how much value you place on support and having support in your life? How important is that for you?

I think it's very, I think it's very important, just due to the fact that you can't do everything on your own. When you when you can talk to people that you love is It's big. It's very, it's very, very big. Try to do it on my own. And that's how that turned out. Support is very big. It's very, very big. And yeah, it's always, like, I grew up in a very family orientated household and still to this day. Yeah, so it's always it's always been a major theme in my life. Yeah. So whenever you want to in deadlines on doing something big, you're gonna need some people where you could speak to to. Yeah, just to be around.

I'm really drawn to somebody that showed up physically. For me when you were talking about I think this is even before we can came on air. Before the incident, with your your seizure with the girlfriend or the ex, you mentioned that your your one of your best mates actually moved to Israel first. Was he someone that had been a big support in your life? And then suddenly, he leaves? And that leaves a bit of a whole? Nah, no.

We were both he was in a different to youth movement. I was saying I was in more of a religious Rene, he was he wasn't that we talked to we talked about moving to Asia for years. Prior to that. We talked about, we talked about a lot of different stuff. And it's like we talked about a lot of different stuff about the major factor around was around Asia all about joining the army serving in the IDF, the Israeli Defense Force about contributing to Israeli culture, that was fucking massive. That was a lot of the conversations, we would go on a run through to these stupid workouts, sober or not. Yeah. Yeah. So

talk me through the importance of that is, is that something that you aspired to from a young age? Like? Was it the physical aspect? Was it? What What was it that really drew both of you to that? To the army, which is that whole concept of what you were talking about, then of going to Israel, of joining the army, all of those different elements that that are involved in

that community around us at the time, I went to a Zionist take a youth movement and said, Hey, so you don't know what you don't know. And it's like, when people are talking, or when people are talking about it constantly, constantly. But when you go to a youth movement, and that theme, is based around living in Asia, serving in the serving in the idea of giving back at Asia. That's what you know, we're not trying to paint this indoctrinated point of view, not. But that's where we knew. And that's what we talked, I talked about a lot of other stuff that

if we if we draw on the comparisons to NLP, it's like if we hear any modeling or conditioning from any parts of our life, the same thing happens in a family environment, like the belief systems that have been carried through for generations, they often get repeated because it's the same things that repeated it's it's it's really normal, right? It doesn't mean that there comes a time where you realize that, that that particular message for you wasn't helpful that a bearer, yeah. So how have you, how have you made sense of that? And if you think about it, you've gone over there. Kind of sounds like whether it was by design or coincidence, when you've been over in Israel, that's where things have started to unravel. Like, how do you process that whole time of your life given how it unfolded and why it unfolded?

If that experience

Okay, so. So what about in a way that people will understand so clearly, because you've done a fair bit of this training, that you've let go of a fair bit of stuff and you've made sense of a fair bit of stuff, but what about for someone who, who's never done an LP, they've never never experienced hypnotherapy? any of these different things? Like, how would they? How would you be able to explain how you would process that from a logic perspective?

Really good question. Um The thing that I do to this day is the what, what are the pros of this? What are the good things that are come out of this? If I were to sum if I'm to summarize everything, I fear my hypnotherapy and all that kind of stuff. What are the what's the good that can come from this and one of the lessons that I can learn today to move forward? It's as simple as that. Yeah, it really is about it's also it's like, we want to our ego will try keep us and this victim in this victimhood, per se, and then being self aware of being aware of that. That's where you can take the baby step.

Yeah, I'm joining the conversations I've had with my coach around exactly that. And it's okay, I've done talking about a really challenging experience. And you know, it was this summer, it's that and I'm talking about all the negative. And it's like, just write down all of the good elements that came from that experience. And then you start writing and you just realize even through what seems like a really difficult time, there's so much positive. So I love how you've summed that up. That's, that's perfect. Yeah, focus on what's been good. He's really is that easy.

It's as simple it's as simple as that. Yeah, you don't have to spend. You don't have to spend 1000s and 1000s and 1000s of dollars, I just gave you the fucking Golden Nugget right there. So save yourself some time and

welcome, everyone. Good. So Michael, tell us a bit more about your the PTE work you're doing and and I'd also love to hear because I get the sense this will be B. What do you see the future of your life in business, because I'm sure it's bigger than just just purely the physical elements of PT.

So what I do at the moment, with P Tn is mostly general population, or 95% of the equation is Gen pop. So guys who work corporate dads, moms, guys who just have a lower back pain or just want to lose weight. So all the help people obviously exercise about will also do part of their nutrition. I helped this one guy, this guy, I'm still trying to help him quit smoking, which was massive. Yeah, I didn't, I didn't do a hypnotherapy. He wasn't, he wasn't interested in it. We gave him a couple of pointers, and he was able to quit. So help him go through that. And that's, that's about it.

Just just to really emphasize that point is that what I've had someone described to me as its proximity, right, someone in your space, you're, you're taking some of that mental and emotional load while they do the physical work, that you'd actually doesn't feel like you're having to do a hate but it's the support that you've talked about throughout this chat is that you're giving them that support and that space to be able to do whatever it is they need to do. Like it's yeah, it's it's powerful man, the work you're doing so I could get it.

So that that's, that's, that's about it. Obviously, the new trick, obviously, the nutrition, training, anything, anything else, or whatever, or whatever, when it comes up, and you're lucky, you're dealing with, you're dealing with another human being. So there's a lot of a lot of moving pieces at any given point in time. And so it's like, okay, well, this is this person is acting like that. No, he is an A, and he is that he might be going under a lot of stress. So I was like, How can I help him get through that? So it was never not sort of moment of work glorified cheerleaders. Yeah. business wise, obviously, I'm gonna make personal training my full time gig. I absolutely love it. I enjoy it, Todd, and I like it. Yeah, I'm back to my full time gig, ideally, to be getting about 30 to 40 clients a week. Eventually, I have my own little garage gym, filled with weights, and clients. And I'm training clients out of out of that garage.

That's awesome. I also, I'm gonna make some assumptions here, because I was really drawn to some of your social media posts that you put out, is that you take great pride in helping other people just pay it forward, right? Just to actually just make a difference in people's lives by sharing those nuggets of wisdom, what you've already done for all of us today. So yeah, it's more than just the business side of things, right. It's actually the impact of the difference you want to make in people's lives.

I love it. I just I just really enjoy it. Yeah, that's a really

fucking cool, man. Michael, thank you so much for sharing your journey. And, like you said, so much the nuggets of wisdom, and you've shared so many of them today. I really appreciate you I really appreciate your time. Thanks.

My pleasure.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief, let's chat. Email me at info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com. You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform