When People Piss You Off, Try Coming From A Place Of Understanding

Ian Hawkins 0:02

Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it and what to do next. Before we start by one request, if any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the Ian Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this work, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it.

Whenever you have any sort of altercation with anyone, or people are pissing you off, or people overstepping their boundaries, and you're really not enjoying the experience, while the temptation is to place all the blame on the other person, the way you're going to get a resolution that works for you. And for them and for the greater good is from a place of understanding. Understanding from all perspectives and all sides, not just your own personal perspective. And when I say that, not at the expense of your own boundaries, not at the expense of your own values. But from a place of wanting to be able to meet the other person where they're at. And understanding what might be going on for them. Because then, and only then will you be able to bridge the gap. Like I said, it's really important that you don't you then don't compromise your own values, your own personal boundaries that you don't then do something to your own detriment through the process. But taking a moment to look at the world through their eyes, what might be going on for them. Because if there's a desire to make things, right, and often these sort of altercations come with the most important people in your world. And there is a desire to make things right. And understanding is the key. And if you come from understanding and you interact from that place of understanding, and you still unable to get the result that you'd hoped. Sometimes it is okay to walk away. But I will also say that if there's a desire to make things, to improve things and to have the relationship reconciled. Just be open to things changing. Be open to having the courage to have the conversation. does take courage takes courage to want to break the chains of the past. It takes courage to stare down your own part to play in any situation. It takes courage to actually hold people to account when they're overstepping your space, your time your boundaries, your values. But on the other side of that courage, if both parties are willing to have the conversation then trust can be rebuilt. And relationships can be not just restarted but but actually don't go to a whole other level through this lens of understanding there's no right or wrong in this space. If it's not something that you're wanting to pursue, then that's fine and you knew and you'll get what you get but when someone's pissing you off, it's not because they're deliberately trying to piss you off. at an unconscious level, their behavior is such that they, they feel, they think they expect that they'll feel better as a result of taking the actions that they've taken. Everything that we do is because of the belief that it will somehow allow us to feel better. Yep, even the really shitty things because there's an element of pain that sitting in there. And even if that pain gets released through violence, for example, it's still a better feeling than sitting in it. Of course, there are better feelings by being able to process it and they a more healthy way for all parties. But again, just giving you some understanding is that that's everyone's behavior is in the in the thought that will have them feel better. Unconsciously, of course, consciously is all over the thing. And some people do, at times take steps that they do want to cause harm or hurt. But only because they're running some pattern of a past moment of loss and grief. But this element of understanding this attitude of understanding it will change so many things about your relationship with yourself with others, and your capacity to not only make peace with your past, but help others in your world to do the same.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief, let's chat. Email me at info at in Hawkins coaching.com. You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform