When Your Lifestyle, Goals & Beliefs Are In Conflict With Each Other

Ian Hawkins 0:02

Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it, and what to do next. Before we start by one request, if any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the Ian Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this work, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it.

Most people, at some point in their career reached that point where they question is this What I really want to be doing? Now, if you're in the perfect role, you love it, it lights you up and it gives you the right balance matches up with your lifestyle and your beliefs. In probably not the episode for you. But if there's any part of you that was drawn to this title, and you hear well, then there's probably something there that you can address. What generally happens then, is that it's like well, I'm not gonna be able to find another job that pays like this, I'm not going to be able to find a job that has the flexibility, I'm not going to be able to find a career option that will allow me to maintain my current lifestyle. Says who? That's where the beliefs, part of this conversation comes into it. Your current experiences, and your previous experiences and everything you've ever learned or been told, has you believing that it's not possible. But there are millions of jobs out there, there are millions of different career opportunities out there for you. And they all have different choices and different options. And there is an option out there, which will allow you to keep your current lifestyle which will pay you what it is that you need, for what your future looks like, for your goals. So don't balk at an opportunity, because of other people's ideas, because of past mistakes, because you think you're too old because of any number of other restrictions that you can bring in to the conversation. It's time to start backing yourself. Particularly if you're looking to move into a career that is outside of the norm. Right, what is normal anyway? Right? We've been taught that you got to work hard, save hard, pay off your house, and then work to retirement. But is that what you want? Or is it someone else's idea of what your future should look like? So to get clear on exactly what it is that your best life looks like. It's going to be so important here, have those goals, and include lifestyle in that include career in that and be open to the possibility that all of that can be when you create that shift in belief. One of the great tasks to do to help you unlock this is to look back at where your current belief came from. Where did it start? what's fueling? Because that's where you're gonna find the answer to what it is that is creating the doubt. That's what's creating that inability for you to back yourself, that then fuels that negative head noise. That voice that just seems to build and build and build which nothing will release the pressure until you maybe get to the weekend and release in one of your favorite vices which has value but sometimes you get to Monday and wish you hadn't overindulged the way that you had and then you start a patent again. Now the question is how many more years are you going to tolerate what you're tolerating, as you work towards this concept of retirement. It's a dated concept. I tell you, my dad died when he was 64. There's no guarantees in life does a real kick up the ass for me, it was like well, walking through my boring office, in a job that I was telling everyone that I loved, which I didn't really. And at a time where I was telling everyone was happy, but I wasn't really contemplating this idea of, well, I read, do I really want to be doing this for the next 2025 years? And then potentially die at that young age anyway? And the answer was, No, I don't want to keep doing that. I don't love what I do. I'm not happy, as I tell people. Sure. There are different elements in my life that were happy, but I wasn't truly happy. And because that moment of my dad's pass, he made me realize that life's not forever. I'm not one, I don't want to tolerate this anymore. I'm sick of the feeling mediocre feeling average, despite any success, I had, I still felt like I looked at the external world looked at other people and just saw myself as average, there's always someone who's better. Well, the reality was, they're always or is always someone that is going better. If you judge yourself through those certain lenses, career progression, income, all of those different things are now judged myself in a very different way. And that is around how healthy I am. The relationships I have with the most important people in my world, the fulfillment that I get from my work. And yeah, I also have really clear lifestyle goals. And that's okay. Why would you not want to? Why would you not want to have all of those abundant choices open to you. And one of those choices is a career. That is, all of those things, you want it to be a lifestyle, it is all of those things. Bring your beliefs up to that level. You just don't know what's possible for you. So be open one yourselves up to possibilities. And when the opportunity comes, jump at it. If it didn't have been the right decision, you can change this up mouth. You keep yourself stuck. If you just be indecisive and not sure when you'll do it. Maybe I'll do it this time, maybe I won't. But being decisive is easy. And then you can just change your mind again. Because what usually happens with life, it'll be forced upon you anyway, with the amount of my friends that have been made redundant. And at the time, it was a shock to the system, but then it turns out being the best thing that ever happened to them. Like I said, No guarantees, but there was nothing like the moment for them to be forced to leave that Korea that they feel so tired to and think outside the box and see what else was out there. So you can do it on your terms. Or wait and see what life throws the choice is yours.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief. Let's chat. Email me at info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform