How To Heal: Seeking Discomfort

BVTT

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Hello, beautiful humans.

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Welcome to this series on how to heal.

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This video is going to

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discuss how to seek out discomfort.

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I know that probably sounds

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a little bit strange, but trust me,

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we'll figure it out together.

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I'm Megan Connor,

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and this channel is all about healing.

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I'm the host of the Midlife

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Revolution podcast,

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and this series is just

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intended to help people

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have some more tools in

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their toolbox about how to

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engage in healing from

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trauma or other difficult experiences.

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I am not a licensed mental

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health professional.

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I am only...

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an expert in my own trauma.

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I share this for

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informational purposes only.

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And I'm just hopeful that it

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will help some people to

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gain the skills that they

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need to dig into uncomfortable emotions.

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So seeking discomfort,

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is one of those things that

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we might not consider as part of healing.

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But anytime that we want to

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get better at something or

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anytime we want to improve

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ourselves in any way,

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we have to do things that

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are uncomfortable.

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If you think of it kind of

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like going to the gym,

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if we want to get stronger,

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then we have to get up, get dressed,

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go to the gym and lift heavy things.

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We might have to run on the

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treadmill or we might have

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to do a whole bunch of sit-ups.

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And none of those things are comfortable.

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It's much more comfortable

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to just sit at home and

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relax in our lovely bed.

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But if we do that,

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we're not ever going to get stronger.

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And so seeking out

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discomfort in the mental

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health arena would look

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like going to therapy,

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finding a therapist,

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listening to recordings of people

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books that can be self-help

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books or seeking out

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content on the internet

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like this and actually

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absorbing the things that

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people say and then

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incorporating them into our lives.

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It's going to take time and effort,

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but getting uncomfortable

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is one of the only ways

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that we can really improve ourselves.

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Now,

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I know that finding a therapist is a

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really uncomfortable thing for a

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telling your deepest,

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darkest secrets to a

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complete stranger might

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seem a little bit scary and

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uncomfortable.

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And that's one of the things

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that I want to encourage

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you to try and overcome

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because it's so important

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to do this work.

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So I actually always thought

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that telling my deep,

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dark secrets to a total

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stranger felt a little bit

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freeing because

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I knew that they were never

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going to tell anybody else.

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And I was also able to get

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some feedback on those things.

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And so maybe we can focus on

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what could be positive

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about the experience rather

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than focusing on how

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uncomfortable it might feel at first.

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to tell all of these things

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to a therapist.

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I also relate that when I

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was switching from one

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therapist to another,

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having to rehash all of the

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details of my trauma at

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length was a very

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uncomfortable thing to do.

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But the more that I talked

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about my experiences,

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the better that I felt.

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Sometimes just saying things

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out loud for me was very healing.

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And I got to the point where

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I did feel comfortable

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talking about my experiences

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with complete strangers, obviously,

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or I wouldn't be here.

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But I was silenced so much

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as a child and not allowed

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to feel my big feelings and

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have my big emotions that

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saying things out loud

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became very healing for me.

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And it can be for a lot of people as well,

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even though the

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vulnerability of it might

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feel scary at first.

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So finding a good therapist

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or a good mental health

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provider can be really difficult.

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There are a lot of

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therapists out there that

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act unethically or that

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haven't really done their

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own healing work and

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Trusting your mental health

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to someone who hasn't done

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their own work is, I think,

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a pretty dangerous thing to do.

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So there are a lot of

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questions that we can ask a

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therapist when we're in the

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process of hiring them for

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the job of caring for our mental health.

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It absolutely should be like

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a job interview.

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What are your qualifications?

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What are your experiences?

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What was your healing journey like?

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Those kinds of questions are

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really important to ask a

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therapist so that we make

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sure that we're getting

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competent care and also so

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that we can see if our

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personalities align.

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Most therapists will do some

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kind of initial

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consultation that is complimentary.

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In other words,

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they won't charge you or

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charge your insurance for it.

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just as a way of making sure

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that they can provide what

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you need in counseling and

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also to make sure that your

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personalities mesh and that

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their communication style

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is something that you can receive.

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So there are lots of

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different questions and

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different ways that you can

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get this information.

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I have a free how to hire a

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therapist guide on my website.

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You can download it there at

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third-verse.com.

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I'll put the link in the

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video description here.

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And it has a very extensive

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list of questions,

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things that you need to

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know before you begin your

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therapeutic journey.

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Another thing to consider is

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thinking about the kind of

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therapy that you might need

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and doing some research

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into different healing

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modalities to see what

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resonates with you and what

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you think might be a good

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fit for the things that

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you're wanting to work on.

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For example,

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if you have a lot of trauma in your past,

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it's really important to

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work with a therapist who

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has certification and

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training in trauma-based

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healing modalities.

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I spent about three years in talk therapy,

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which was basically

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dialectical behavioral therapy,

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before I realized that in

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order to work on my trauma,

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I had to use a different

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kind of healing modality.

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And I'm not saying that that

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three years was wasted time.

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Not at all.

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In fact, it was incredibly helpful.

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And it got me to a place

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where I could recognize trauma.

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harmful behaviors and

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harmful cycles in my life.

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And it was incredibly important.

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When I finished those three

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years of therapy,

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I was finally ready to dig

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into my trauma and I was

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able to find a trauma

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healing modality that worked for me.

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In specific,

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I found EMDR therapy and it

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literally saved my life.

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It was wonderful.

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But EMDR is not for everyone

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and it doesn't work for

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everyone in the same way.

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And so it's important to do

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some research prior to

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to hiring a therapist so

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that you know what

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expertise you're looking

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for or what healing

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modality might be the best for you.

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There are lots and lots of

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online resources and free

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therapy resources as well

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if you do some research into that.

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And so I hope that you will

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get to the point where you

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can find something that works for you.

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And if you're having trouble

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finding the type of

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therapeutic help that you need,

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please let us know in the comments.

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This community is a great place

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where people love to connect

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and help each other and so

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if you're having a

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difficulty with finding a

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therapist or finding a

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healing modality that works

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for you our channel members

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are really excellent at

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helping out with those

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kinds of things in the comments

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So I just want to go back

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and sort of revisit the

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original concept of this

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video was getting to the

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point where we can seek out discomfort.

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It's definitely a way that

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we can improve ourselves.

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If we have never painted a picture before,

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it's going to be uncomfortable.

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to find out how to do that.

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And it can be the same way

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with healing and with therapy.

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But seeking out discomfort

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is the best way for us to

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learn and grow as human beings.

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So I want to encourage you

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in your journey.

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I wish you all the very best.

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Please like the video.

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And if you found it helpful,

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please share it with

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someone else who you would

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love to see get into a

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healing modality and

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subscribe to the channel so

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that you can get

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notifications for more

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content about healing.

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Be well and have a wonderful day.