A Catalyst for ReLaunching: Finding Hope, Authenticity and Resilience within Ourselves

Welcome, everyone, to the relaunch podcast and you are in for yet another absolutely incredible show today. Why is that? Because I have somebody that I have recently met that I need you to know, the stories, the passion behind this gal. It's like, when you have two universes meeting, you've got the relaunch. And you've got this woman and you realize that through the struggles through the learning through the magic of it all things happen. And Isn't it incredible when synchronicity when things happen, and you know that there is going to be a long term friendship here, awesome partnership here. And it's kind of come together in that in that absolutely fortuitous way. Well, I've got Lauren Abrams with me, she is the founding member, managing partner of the Law Offices of Lauren Abrams. And let me tell you, she's been doing this for 22 years. And you all know I've been doing what I've been doing for more than 22 years. But she's on you know, she's on tons of association. She's She's a thought leader in everything. But really what she's the most passionate about, you know, I always like to get to the bottom of the relaunch journey is that she is a host of 52 weeks podcast, where leaders, healers, change agents discuss the challenges that they've overcome giving you the tools to take the leap of faith in yourself through humor, waiting to hear this gal, compassion and grace. The podcast reminds you that anything is possible and it's never too late to live your purpose do Come on everyone do what lights you up and create extraordinary things. You also get to learn in her podcasts about hey, how about this, the meaning of life? And guess what? You will never regret it.

You're listening to the ReLaunch podcast and I'm your host Hilary DeCesare, best selling author, speaker and transformational coach widely recognized in the worlds of neuro psychology and business launches, which cultivated the one and only three HQ method helping midlife women. Yep, that's me to rebuild a life of purpose, possibility and inspiring business ventures. Each week, we'll be diving into the stories that brought upon the most inspirational relaunches while sharing the methods and the secrets that they learned along the way so that you too can have not just an ordinary relaunch, but an extraordinary relaunch.

Lauren, so good. So good that this finally worked out and we are sitting here and we are going to deliver the most incredible show I have no doubt.

Yeah, thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here, Hilary and it's 52 weeks. I hope so.

Yeah. 52 weeks. Hope.

Yeah. Hope and I love the synchronicity of our podcast. It's really amazing and you're gonna be a guest on 52 weeks I hope so soon so I'd love to know why salt works. Yeah, it

really you know what, I love that too because it's so great when I get to highlight you to my audience, I get to share your story I love and I like to even throw this out into the world the universe. I'd like to put out as my intention that we're going to find out something about you that you haven't shared. It's something like you know people may not know about you. So let's go deep into that into the why you went from this high powered which you still are this high powered attorney and something happened a relaunch happen something stepped in to your to your life. And it changed everything. Can we introduce you into the world of relaunch?

Oh, absolutely. And I love the question. Thank you for that. Because things are never have a appear on the outside. Don't assume anything about anyone. Here I am. This Beverly Hills attorney and you may think and I still there was somebody who worked with me at my practice once And he thought, Oh, I've been handed everything and, and that's not the case at all. I've worked hard for where I am today. And I'm always so grateful and amazed and, and everything else. And that's a different story and listen to episode one for that. But I'd much rather talk about what happened. Because here I am this grateful person and Mom, I'm a single mom raising my kids working hard. And, and I went through my dark night of the soul, everyone goes through it, none of us get through this life unscathed. And the only way through is through. And when I got through this, I was like, What the hell was that. And it was just really difficult. I went through financial challenges, I had to pay my employees, I didn't take care of everything. It was so bad. I didn't know how I was going to feed my kids for a while. And that really freaks people out. And I actually talked about this on LinkedIn. And they don't teach you in law school about finances. Right? My practice is thriving, but I wasn't getting paid. And I actually had a depo service. Sue me. So there, there's something that I don't talk about. And I was like, I was making minimum payments, but they sued me. And yeah, they still come back and try to get me as a client today. I'm like, Are you kidding me?

Right away? Can I tell you how many, like, just, we are, we are really cut from the same cloth hair, that there is now even more reason. I mean, you're a single mom, you have a partner. Now I know. And things have happened, you were trying to really figure it out. You ended up being sued, I had a board member tried to bring down my entire one of my companies all the way down. And he ended up doing a Ponzi scheme and ended up in federal prison. And then wrote me the letter from prison saying, I, I'm really, you know, I'd love to work with you again. You're a beautiful person on the outside of me. Like, ah, yeah, so So here I'm hearing you know, this this Devo and all of a sudden they want to, you know, work with you. It's like,

what are you kid? Yeah, I'm just like, anywhere. And I got through it telling, oh, money rained down on me, but I got through it. Right. And but when I got through that I really I was like, What the hell was that? And

how long did this time period last for you? It felt

like forever, I felt like forever, I have no family out here. I had no one to I really was loved my, my ex husband had given me full custody of both kids and, and I felt very alone. And nobody believed me when you manage problems, you're not attracting anyone. Like, and, and it's one of those things people don't even want to hear about. So I don't talk about it. I just usually say the dark night of the soul and I move forward. So you want to hear something I don't usually talk about, hey,

hey, this is this is what it's all about. And I do want to throw something out there. Did you have this happened to you? Where one thing happened? So I was going through divorce, right? No, and all of a sudden, then I get melanoma? Then I have you know, and I have my three kids living in, you know, the house to then. And it was like then and then and then did you have that was that like part your story too is like there was

always like, well, there's always this life, life happens. And but I will say from this I am when I got through it I was in I was like, what was that? I was like, then I went through like why are we here? What are the like, what's the meaning of life? You know, and all those things. And I decided I was gonna ask a person a week just that question like, why are we here? And I thought I'd start with a much older demographic because they say nobody on their deathbed ever wish they worked hard or made more money. So I was gonna be like, tell me, I want to know, and I'm not a DIY er, but this is as close as DIY as I get if that's and

so great. So what you did so, you said again, life happens. Yes, I agree. relaunches happen and we don't know when they're gonna happen. Another one could happen today, tomorrow, next week, it will happen now and we both are in agreement that life will continue to happen to teach you those lessons, you will end up having some form of a dark night of the soul where you know you're feeling like oh my god, how do I make it through this? But you will and there's always a silver lining and I'm sure

and I made sure somebody knew what was going on with me. I did not do this in total isolation. My best friend knew what was going on. She actually sat in the office with me one day and I actually went to a SoulCycle class where I had I had all these extra classes in the thing and and I went to my favorite teacher this shows it was a long time ago but not and I was in the back row in the dark just crying and cycling and and my favorite teacher Angela, she was going I don't know why I'm talking to you right now but somebody in Ha hear this and, and she did her Angela magic and I'm crying and, and I knew something shifted in me because sitting and hoping for something to get better. God doesn't drive park cars, like you have to take action. And, and this was action for me was going and just just doing that and I knew I'd get through it. I didn't know how, but I knew I get through. And it like I said money didn't rain on me and my best friend sat by office with me. And she just worked from there with her laptop while I worked. And, and, and anyway, and I did get through it. And so I started interviewing a person a week asking like, what have you gleaned from living life? What would you have just said?

You said, you said older person, which I love. You know, the whole idea. What are we talking about? What age group are you

going for originally? I mean, ask them how well actually I did some, but over 80 just older and I started interviewing the person a weekend I'd ask them and people would divulge really personal information to me. And it was so good and so rich, I go home and I'd write it up in my own verbiage, which is a little bit funny, not making fun of them funny or anything. And after about two and a half months, I noticed some common themes. And I was like, This is so good. It's so rich. I'm gonna write one of those books, where you put all those stories in and then you open it up and you're like, that's just what I needed to hear. are you closing your font again? You're like, that's what I need and caught. 52 weeks I hope

that so again, the question you're asking these older people is why are we here? What What have you learned and what would you have? And it was so good. And what are the common themes here? What were the I'm gonna try this is big girl, I love this. This is like hitting me right in the heart like I'm gonna death

where am I now so, but then the pandemic hit, and I started podcasting and I've even like listened to podcast, maybe an occasional Oprah or Brene Brown like I didn't. And I just started and then I wasn't confined to LA. And I just started and I have podcast ever since. But I will say after my first 52 weeks episodes, I because I asked everyone for a message of hope. And I compiled all the messages of hope into eight overarching themes and I call it the meaning of life. So now I'm gonna answer your question that I know

I feel like we need a drumroll right now. I mean, you want to give us the you know eight steps to the meaning of life.

Yeah, well and netting it out yeah, so number one community we are not meant to live in isolation we are meant to be together texting isn't the same like by the end of this Hilary and I feel like we're BFFs because we see each other on the screen here we're connecting it's not the same we need to hug we need to be together we don't have to hug everyone community doesn't mean you need hundreds of people or or but we need to physically be together and I cannot tell you how many times they are like you young people need to put down your phones which I love being called a young person but we need to put down our phones and actually connect

you know I'm gonna say one thing off of that as well is that you know for so long our company relaunch We do so many things virtually so many zooms but we do an in person event a retreat, the relaunch retreat every year.

It looks amazing.

I gotta tell you, getting people in the energy offset. And the coming together of I just got chills. It is so different. We've forgotten what it means. And so I've got girls trips now plan. I've got reunions I might, yeah, yeah, let's do it. So okay, so that's

community about because I actually I lead meditations. I mean, everything's about the pause. If there's any burnt out type A overachieving mom's on here. I'm gonna tell you, everything's about the pause. We've forgotten the pause. Everything's about the pause. Even if it's 10 seconds just breathing in and out.

Did you get a chance to flip through the relaunch book? I call it the paws principle. Like,

I have your book yet?

I got it. Wait, just wait. I actually have there's there's a whole section on the pause principle. Okay, but let's go back to the ad. Okay, any of like number one, number two?

Yes. Number two service doing for others. No matter what I and I, I've mentored a girl in downtown LA. My husband was always sure I wouldn't come back alive. I mean, it didn't matter. She lived with four people in one room, very high achieving girl in high school, and she had never met anyone who had been to college. My kids were doing their college apps at the time, didn't want to hear from me. I was like, I can help her anyway. And she ended up getting a full scholarship to college and all of that. I never or once wanted to go or feeding the home no matter what it is for service. I never want to go 100% of the time. I feel fabulous when I leave. Oh,

is that the chakras? And you know what? I love your honesty there. That it's kind of like Oh, I gotta go do this. But then you looked at it so

busy the trash.

Especially in LA I got it living there. Yeah.

Torn between work kids, my other service commitments, right. Like, there's always stones, the podcast, you know, I mean, there's so much and yet, I'm giving back there is nothing better it is what we're here to do it the blue zones where people live the longest, the happiest and the healthiest. Because why do you want to live a long time, if you're not healthy, and happy. It's all about community and service. They know each other. They're of service to each other. They're out walking together. I interviewed this one guy, Matt, he put on meetup, hey, I'm going running in Santa Monica or wherever it was. Tuesdays at five o'clock or whatever. I've just made up the time. But he started a running group just from that. Community, you have a community of people retreat once a year. Now you have a whole community. It's just and you're asking you.

Yeah, hold on. Let me ask you going back to service because I do know a lot of people services is key to me. And I told you I was just spending a couple days with my daughter in a hotel room. And we checked in last minute, it wasn't something we planned. They gave us a room that literally overlooked a basketball court. And there was this big sign Boys and Girls Club. And there was a basketball little kids doing it you could tell it was the Boys and Girls Club that were coming together. And I I've had the privilege of being a judge for the top, the top kid of the year, it was just like the most impactful thing. And as I sat there, we do get busy. We do forget that you get so much more in return when you go and do that. But when somebody who is listening right now, who is thinking, I've got kids, I've got you know, ailing parents, I've got work I've got this, how much time do you believe somebody needs to donate serve in a week? That really would give them this? This truly feeling

such a great question, guess what? If I'm not going to quantify it, call somebody and say, how are you? Yeah, all you have to do, right? Call someone and say how are you? Especially if you're feeling kind of blah, you will feel better? Listen to them? That's it. No, it's interesting. So to do you don't have to go feed the homeless or, or drive far and help mentors of like, I mean, that's just that was in my path. I said yes. Because I say yes to the universe, when they send me something. I just figured there's a reason I'm gonna tell you, I never want to do anything I could be. I'd rather read a good novel, and be a slug. And if you look at my life, you'll be like, No, you're not but yeah.

But it is. So it's so important for people to hear what you just said, we have a tendency to overthink, we have a tendency to try to make it like big. Oh, I gotta do this big thing. When just a call, just a you know, just dropping off and just not a text. Okay, so now we've got community service. What's number three?

Okay, so I'm not going to do these in any order, because I'm just going to do it off top my head, but whatever you feel called to it all works. And by that I mean breathwork yoga, EFT tapping. I've gotten such an education on my podcast, but whatever you feel called to it all works. If you're called to that, you and you don't have to do it all the shiny object syndrome. No, stay focused, and do what's in front of you. You do not have to do all of it. And be like, well, this feels good. So I'll do that one too. And that one too. And that one too? What you you know, take the pause again. I'll do what we're both like close your eyes what really fills you with joy. Do that do that light and which is a good segue to another one. Life since session. This is it. We don't get to do over there's not enough like this is your hot

so you said life is life is

Yes, life since session. Do

you don't get a second time this

session? Do well, you're not doing this for some family member or for someone else. If you feel called and there's something you really wish you were doing. And you feel like life's passing you by you're jealous of other people because they're doing what it is that you wish you were doing. And you want to take that leap of faith. This is what I talk about, I think the most on my podcast then You get to do it there you can manifest that you actually can if you'd like to or manifest it, you can create the life that you want to do and make that happen. You don't. I don't care how high people are lonely even at the very tops, moms who are CEOs and have that seemingly perfect life. They're not laughing from their gut anymore. Remember when used to loud belly laughs

You know, that's my favorite thing. I had a few last night that were just so great. So good. And here's the thing what I love about that, you know, you it's it's not like, you know, it's a take one take two, you're in a movie and you get you know, all these different Yeah, no, no, it's not. I mean, it's a roll. You are the camera is rolling. Yeah, there is no like, you know, going back reverse this, it is rolling. And when you said that, too many people put it off as Oh, well, Sunday, I really want to do that. Ah, I've seen way too many things happen, especially in even the last two or three days, where and you said it, you know, the CEO, that's a mom, that's feeling like, on the outside, everything is great on the inside. They're just they're not even, they're not satisfied. They're lonely, they, they don't feel complete. Let me tell you, I'm raising my hand. That was me. And now when something comes up for me, great example. I have been thinking about something for a few years. And that is to get Reiki certified. I know everyone, it just it was something that I'm like, I want to understand it more. I went to Japan recently. I'm like, I need to understand this. So I am taking two Saturdays full Saturday's in August, which, you know, Hey, these are busy times. For us. These are like, you know, there's lots going on. And I'm doing it. And so what everybody could you do? Can you stop saying I'll get to it? I'll do it later. Do it now. I love this. So right now we've got community service called to life in session. Give me number five.

Yeah, that we are resilient species. We I have talked to people we can get through anything. We we absolutely can get through anything. I'm not even gonna go through everything. I mean, we all know people have gotten through. And maybe it's you listening I like, there's no way if you're listening to this, you've gotten through it. There's no way you haven't got through life. I mean, we all have our stuff. So and we are resilient. I've talked to Holocaust survivors. I've talked with people who have lost their kids, which is I think the worst. So those are the two so we are resilient and yet, which are going to segue to another sense of humor. You know, I it's so important to laugh. It's just so important. And,

you know, it's really interesting. I would even ask people, you know, you hear Matthew McConaughey says, You got to exercise every single day. I got a sweat every single day. What if we all said, You got to laugh every day? Yeah, we laugh. What if? What would that mean? It was boring. Yeah. Right. I mean, again, I

can't. That's like that. Okay, so my whole thing right now is the to do list a to do list. If you put type a burnt out mom, Google it and overdo it and all that. Guess what? It gives a whole list of things to do. I'm doing a whole series. How about that to don't list? Things you can take off the to don't list series for these moms. I actually didn't go to the I almost didn't go the hospital when I was raising my kids. Because I like I don't know, should I go to work or to the hospital doctors, like you have to go to the hospital. And one of my tests and I was like, I actually was like, Oh, do I have time? Like when people go? Oh, you don't understand. I have a two and a four year old and I'm thinking No, I do understand I've been there.

No doubt I'm not something everybody right now. Have you been to your doctors? Have you had your mammogram? Have you had your colonoscopy and yet, all of these things, listen to what Lauren is saying. You got to get them done. Done. But also sense of humor this this one. I know when

somebody's telling me I have to sweat everyday by the way to clear your head can't go outside just take a walk around the block without a device. It will do the most amazing things for you just to clear your head about that. You know

what you've got to come to Boulder. I know you're in LA. I was just in LA otherwise we would have done this live. But you got to come to Boulder and we got to go on a hike because I think I love

hiking. Biking. Yeah. Okay. Right now. Hey.

Yeah, hold on. I'm going through a community service called to life in session resilience, sense of humor. Number seven.

Okay, so there's two more authenticity. You've got to be yourself. You You are vulnerable, authentic self. I ended up making a friend. It's i I actually love this episode, I have stalk somebody about friends. She wrote a book about friendship as adults. And, and it was so good. But before that I was talking about how I went to my son's back to school or whatever my parents, they don't call up parents, we get down friends and family weekend, last year, and he wouldn't let me into his room. Like, I was like, What am I have a really good kid? I'm very lucky. It wasn't like, Oh, he's hiding drugs and this and that. And I was like, what? In? Why can't you go see your dorm room, I pay your tuition. I didn't do that. I pay you. What you thought I paid for this. But he wouldn't let me in. And like, I could not enjoy the rest of the day and evening, I was so excited to see him. And I was like, it's early. It's not my oldest kid, I've gone to these things like what do you mean, I want to meet your room? Anyway, he wouldn't let me in. And he just did not want me to go. So we went to dinner. We did all this. And then I went to this thing that was just with some parents and not moms. I don't know why. And I was like, I don't fit in here in my head. I don't fit in. Why am I this thing I've done in common with these parents. Anyway, for some reason I said to this mom, I go, my son won't let me in his dorm room. She said, After a while she goes, my daughter won't let me in hers either. I don't know why I told this woman something I was so ashamed of. I have no idea why. And anyway, she I said, would you have told me that if I didn't tell you about my son? She said no. And she waited a while to tell me to about her daughter. And we bonded so much from them, right? Because I was vulnerable. And I told her and we end up spending the whole weekend. And we still are in touch. And I was able to talk to my son because I had talked to somebody else. And it ended up because he's so uncomfortable with this one roommate in particular. And neither of them had any family calm. He goes, this isn't even a big deal this weekend. And anyway, and he was telling me how he goes next year, you know, anyway, he had a good conversation. Because I was authentic and vulnerable. I didn't grow up talking about my feelings. I stuffed a Google feelings chart sometimes to be like, Oh, that's how I feel. And so this is still, all of this is new. And I like played with it. Sometimes. It's

great that this is new for us. I mean, I feel the same way. I grew up with a dad who was a doctor grandfather, who was a doctor very much like you know, hey, don't go there. We don't need to talk about feelings. Just you know, you work hard. You play harder, like just go do it. You know, I'm doing great. You know, my parents. My grandparents just got in a car crash and they died. But I'm good. I'm good. You know, I'm good. So it's

Yeah, I think it's fine. I'm fine. I was taught if it describes dinner, it's not a feeling fine. Good. Food. Good.

I like that. Okay, so now we are on to the eighth one, the AI?

What would love this? Yes. Do not listen to that negative self talk in your head, that inner critic. Do not it is not real. Those are just thoughts. I am a meditation teacher. I am the first to tell you and by the way, if you meditate, and you're just starting and your thoughts are going, that happens to everyone, every occasion and and they're just thoughts. They aren't real. They are just thoughts, just like clouds, just like anything else. So that is the next part. And I have somebody I interviewed before I even started podcasting. He's a huge NBA. He was inducted to NBA Hall of Fame. And he had I actually had when it was this was a book and everything else is on my website at 52 weeks I hope.com If you look at my ID they're short they're short little vignettes are not long. It's this isn't long, but if you look at Rudy Tom Janowicz it's such a good little story about how the story no matter what Pinnacle success, he reached, his head kept saying, Rudy, you're not all that. You're gonna get found out like the whole thing. It was before people were talking about impostor syndrome or anything else. And it's an amazing little story about that. If they just aren't real, none of those thoughts.

Okay, so I got it I got it, summarize it again. You got your community service call to life in session resilience, sense of humor, authenticity, and do not listen to the inner critic.

Yeah, I mean, you say call to its whatever you're called to feel called to do.

I think this and you know, what I love the most about this is that we always talk about identity. We talk about you know, your subconscious identity, where you are right now what's being you know, held back, and then where you're going the identity of the future you and what you You did by going out there and talking to all these people. And as you said, you're now up to, you know, 170 plus episodes of this. And I was laughing because I think I'm at 175, or a little bit more right around the same. So we've been doing this as long. And I'll never forget when I was going through divorce, and I thought about, you know, divorce defines us many times. And it's how you want it to define you, is it in a positive way or a negative way? And I'm like, you know, what? People would say, Do you want to get married again? And I remember thinking, initially, I'm like, I don't know. But then I'm like, Yes, I do. Because that means I found this incredible person that I'm all in for. And so I went out. And I decided to find three couples that I truly believed had the greatest marriage, and I wanted

I did the same thing. I found Three couples I did.

While I took me a while to find those three.

I didn't it didn't take me that long. Hey, I knew exactly who I wanted. My marriage look like the way I love the way they treated each other and the way they were just so. So I'll tell

you why I said it took a while because I did identify a few couples. And when I asked them when I actually started interviewing them, I'm like, oh, like, all of a sudden, some of the things came up. I'm like, Yeah, not so much.

Yeah. And I found out stuff later. And I was like, oh, yeah, exactly.

But when I did, then I could sit there and say, You know what? I want that, that, that, that that? And I created it. And lo and behold, right now, that's exactly where I am. I am that future identity. I'm now there. I'm like, holy crap, this works. And I love that you have taken the time to see what was similar what was being consistently said and put it down. And what a great reminder, what a great reminder every single day to be thinking about this. So as we are you know, wrapping up, I'd love to hear what are you working on now? How can people get more access to you have more hope in their life? What can they do?

Go to the website, 52 weeks i hope.com. Everything is on there. There's a free ebook. There's a quiz there's also I've quantified your the self help space where there's kind of an Excel spreadsheet where you can you just each day and week you try to do a little bit better, where if you meditate that day, you give yourself points, if you turn all there's a whole list of things that you can do. And it's a clarity and confidence sheet where you it's each thing that you do, you're going to feel better about yourself. And so that's on the website. Also. It's a it's a way to boost your self confidence and get some clarity for yourself.

Lauren, it has been it's been so much fun, everyone, we'll have it in the show notes, but 52 weeks of hope. Check out the podcast, check out the free things that she's giving you right now. And Lauren, I knew this would be great. It was so fun. I had a couple of the belly laughs I was like, yes, yes, yes, yes. And it's a great reminder, it really is things that we know. But we don't put it all together. And you did for us today. So thank you for being here. It was awesome. I can hardly wait to be on your show. And for everyone out there. You know what these are relaunches? These are stories these are you heard authenticity Lauren shared, you know, hey, this is stuff that I haven't I usually like you know, breeze over it. And we all have these masks we wear we all have these hard armors that we have put up given that we're in the mid zone, as I like to call this middle age as we're in. But guess what? We have the ability. I remember when the Berlin Wall came down and I got a chance to go over there and chip away. And it took a long time to get a little teeny piece they were selling little cameras, little teeny hammers, I was like chip chip chip, eventually it breaks away. But you got to start and these eight, these eight quantifiable meaning of life the why behind it. Wow, what a gift. So everyone, until next week, live now. Love now, relaunch today. Relaunch now into that next best version of you. We'll see you next week.

You've just heard another episode of the ReLaunch podcast. If something shared in this episode resonated with you, please head over to iTunes right now and leave us a five star review and share this episode with others to inspire them to take the small steps that lead to a life full of purpose and possibility. And remember, you can have immediate access to the shownotes and any giveaways at therelaunchco.com/podcast until next week, now is your time to relaunch your transition into a transformation.