Beyond Glass Ceilings: Breaking Barriers and Relaunching Careers

Welcome, everyone to yet another show at the ReLaunch Podcast. And I gotta tell you today, nothing gives me more excitement than when I get to interview somebody that I admire that I look at what she's done on like, yes, what an awesome relaunch and be able to share that with you, my audience so that you can be inspired with her journey as well. Because again, it's about harnessing from others and not having to not having to try to figure it all out every single time right on your own. Why not leverage what a great thing to be doing? And today I've got Bri Seeley. She is an entrepreneurial success designer who works with ambitious female entrepreneurs to create highly profitable businesses. Bri uses an inside out approach combining hypnotherapy with custom strategy to help you to create long term you've heard this often sustainable success, but on your terms. Bri is also the founder of infinite horizons, that is he are spelled out horizons a nonprofit on the mission to create economic equity for underrepresented individuals through entrepreneurial education and empowerment. You may have seen her winning awards for business coach of the year on the TEDx stage delivering her revolutionary from wages to wealth talk, or on any of the number of press outlets like to name a few Good Morning America today show Forbes entrepreneur women's health, to name a few. But today, Bri is with us to literally share that it literally is a process it is a accumulation of relaunches that have literally got her where she is today.

You're listening to the ReLaunch podcast and I'm your host, Hilary DeCesare, best selling author, speaker and transformational coach widely recognized in the worlds of neuro psychology and business launches, which cultivated the one and only three HQ method helping midlife women. Yep, that's me to rebuild a life of purpose, possibility and inspiring business ventures. Each week, we'll be diving into the stories that brought upon the most inspirational relaunches while sharing the methods and the secrets that they learned along the way, so that you too can have not just an ordinary relaunch, but an extraordinary relaunch.

Bri, so awesome to have you with me.

Thank you so much for having me. And I have to agree one of my least favorite terms in the world is figuring it out. I think it's such a waste of time. And it's such a benefit that we live in an era when we where we get to learn from each other in such a beautiful way. So excited to be here excited to connect with you and your audience and talk about the series of relaunches that I've been through in the last 20 years.

Well, you know what I love about you is your willingness to one be vulnerable, be willing to like open up and I think you and I are cut from the same cloth in that we want like, there isn't competition. It's collaboration. It's, you know, there are people that are going to be like, gosh, I need to hear this from you today that I want. I want to put you up on the pedestal so that if you can help people, then it's a win win situation. So what I always like to do is, I want you to think about the relaunches that you have. And yes, there's been a lot and sometimes it's difficult to pick, you know, the most impactful that has brought you to where you are today. But I'd love to go and talk about the one that you think literally changed the outcome, the trajectory it switched, where you thought you were going to be going. And so let's hear let's hear what that is and how you've now become where you are today.

Yeah, so in 2015 I was running my own business. I was a fashion too. Dioner so I have launched my own fashion label, I had a bachelor's and a master's in fashion design. And so it made sense for me to start doing fashion things. And I lived in an area where I couldn't get a job, there was no fashion industry. So I launched out on my own. Over the course of eight years, I moved that business to Los Angeles, I was dressing celebrities, I was sold on zappos.com. I was winning awards, it was like all of these amazing, crazy things. And overnight, I walked away and I shut down my fashion label. And

we got this is like, I think people need to hear this message. That's why I was so excited for you to come on and share this because so many times you think like, Okay, you're doing this eight years, you were doing the fashion industry thing. What was it that all of a sudden, you're like, you know what, I gotta stop, I gotta I gotta pivot completely. I got to do a massive relaunch.

So I say that it was, quote unquote, overnight, right? The truth is that I had had symptoms, and hints and whispers leading up to the moment that I made the decision. And I had simply been ignoring them. And this is part of the reason I love sharing this story is because how many women listening to this right now know that they need to make a pivot, they need to make a relaunch, but they're unwilling to hear those whispers. That was me. Like that was me. And so the thing that finally got me to listen, it was a series of two different things. Well, actually, it was a series of more. First off, I had gone to a coaching retreat one weekend, and I knew that I needed to hire that woman to help me. And so I hired her. Literally, the next day, I totaled my car. And two days later, I was meditating with this group of women in Los Angeles. And I heard this very clear fashion, isn't it? Shut it down, walk away. And so this

is brilliant. This is so good. Because how many times do we hear that little voice that intuition inside our head? And we're like, No, I'm not listening to it. I put way too much in I put way too much time, way too much energy, way too much finances. I'm not doing it. And yet, you had just been you have this, this person, this coach that you're like, oh, my gosh, then you total your car. And then you're here hearing the voice of like, it's not the fashion industry you're supposed to be in?

Yeah. And I tricked

you did it but Bri you did it, you actually walked away this is so like,

I did so good. So good. Part of you know, like the there are whispers in their screams and the universe will whisper at us. For a long time. I had been having panic attacks, I've been having anxiety attacks I'd had like depressive episodes, I had really truly wondered why I was on the earth. Like there was a lot going on behind the scenes, which is why I say you know, like it happening overnight was is kind of a misnomer. It looked like it happened overnight on the outside, but on the inside had been coming for months. And so really, it was that catalyst where I just needed the universe to slap me upside the head and be like, girl, you need to look you need to see open your eyes, open your ears, open your heart. Like there's more available for you out there.

But what's interesting is that, you know, you could say you appeal that like you just ripped the band aid right off, right, you're like, but as you're saying there was more to it. Tell us at what point where you like, you know what, I'm really going to do this. I'm shutting it down. Let me ask you a very personal question here was the was the design business at the level of success that you wanted it to

be? So that's part of it. It definitely was not. And there were definitely actions that I was not taking that needed to be taken. That I definitely have the mindset and I was in my 20s of I'm, I'm a really good fashion designer. Like I am very good when I say I'm dressed celebrities like I've dressed in Toni Braxton. I've been on The Bachelor I like my dresses have been worn. Right. I've had stuff go to the Grammys and like all sorts of things. I'm very talented. And so I was like, well, if I'm good, people will buy my stuff. And it was a very hard lesson in sales. I didn't want to have to do sales. I didn't want to have to put myself out there. I didn't want to have to make the connections. I like I didn't want to have to do any of that stuff. And so I was getting all these accolades and all of these people telling me constantly how talented I was. And I didn't have the sales to back it up. And so like part of it was brass tacks. Part of it was, I also just wasn't feeling fulfilled. And there was this level of dissonance within me that I couldn't rectify, and there was as much as I tried to, like, put a bandaid on it or ignore it, or just keep working harder, or like it didn't work. And so like that breaking point came and people ask me all the time, do you regret it? It's been so that was in 2015, it's been eight and a half years since I shut it down. Not once have I regretted it, because when that message came through, it was more like permission. To myself, it wasn't new information. It was permission from the universe, saying, there's more available for you out there, you can let this go.

Okay, so Brady, you decide to literally do this, like I'm getting out of this business, as you know, we discussed ripping that band aid off. But at that point, did you know what you wanted to go do? What were the challenges that came? Because it's kind of like I'm shutting down this very successful, you know, design business, people are wearing your stuff to all these different events. But yet at that point, you're like, you know what, I'm just gonna go for it. But I have no idea. But give me space to try to figure it out what was going through your head?

What was going through my head was that I had just signed a contract with a $25,000. Coach for a business that I know didn't have.

Yeah, so I want everyone to hear that. Right. Because you decided now did you have $25,000? Just you know, sitting around, I didn't think so. So this was a huge commitment. And you knew that somehow, like this person, you trusted enough you trust enough in yourself and this person that you're like, you I'm gonna get there. But how did you even know like, where your identity was even gonna go? I mean, like, we talked, did you ease down, hold on Bri, we talked about G zone, G zone is that highest level your you know, it's the growth zone, where you're like doing things that really light you up, fill you up, you've got your gratitude zone, you've got this great zone, right? You're like, in the moment, you're doing everything, right. And as you said it, you've never looked back and said, Should you be going back into that. So help us understand. Because there are a lot of people out there that want to do exactly what you're doing right now and just go for it. But the fear, the limiting beliefs, the stories are holding him

back. Well, and I will say this is one thing, like, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, it was hard. And it was really hard for nine months. And part of the reason it was hard, and you hit exactly on it, just a minute ago, is my entire identity was wrapped up in being a fashion designer. So all of a sudden, I stripped that identity away from myself. And I was like, I don't know who I am. I don't know the value that I have to contribute to the world. I don't I literally did not have a backup plan. I didn't know what else I was going to do. And so, you know, I was lucky, I was able to use some retirement money to sustain myself and you know, help get things going. But I had days and weeks on end, where I was just in the fetal position in my bed crying because I literally had to go through an identity death. Yeah. And when you're going through something like that, if you're super attached to your titles and your labels and your things and your stuff, and you let all that go, you have you have to deconstruct one of my favorite. If anyone's familiar with Tarot deck. My two favorite cards in the Tarot are the death card and the tower card. And the death card because we are constantly going through that process, we are constantly going through the process of letting go what no longer serves us, and then making space for what will and the tower card because oftentimes things have to be deconstructed. You know, if you're if you're living in a house that has an unstable foundation, you have to go to the level of the foundation to fix it and and rebuild it and shore it up in order to make sure that the rest of the building is safe and solid and sound. And so that's kind of what I did. You know, I worked with that coach concurrently doing that for myself going through the death process, shoring up my foundation, figuring out who is Bri Seeley, what am I here for, like, what's my bigger impact, while also then, you know, questioning and how can I use this to serve other people? How can I monetize this, how can I build a brand around all of this? So it was a very messy process not gonna lie. One of the metaphors that my coach used all the time was like, when you're baking a cake, you get like, all the ingredients out of the cupboards, and you put them all on on the thing. And then you're like, you know, flowers flying everywhere. And, you know, there's like stuff and there's oil. And there's things like everywhere. I don't know, my kitchen does literally,

like when I'm cooking and baking. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Y'all mess. So mess, the mess is all around.

It's it is that part, like you have to go through that part, you have to pull everything out of your proverbial cupboards, you have to throw some flour around and like see, you know, what's gonna stick? And like, it just is the process. And yes, you come out with a cake at the end, theoretically, right? But then that just is the catapult into another relaunch. And you know, it's a never ending process. So

see, I was fascinating about before you continue on. We often think like midlife crisis, men go through it, right? Women are like, I have no time for that. I have no time for a crisis right now. But yet, so many of us actually have what I call an identity crisis. And it sounds like your identity death, as you said, was your own version of this identity crisis. And until you take everything out of the cupboards, and you deconstruct and you start to allow yourself to have a little messiness within that process, it's really hard to move forward. And we as women, and I'd love to get your perspective on this, we hold ourselves up to, we have to have the recipe, we have to have the recipe, you know, I need to know it's a half a cup of sugar. And, you know, it's two eggs and things like that. But yet for you, there was no recipe. I mean, you had somebody kind of helping you through, but you are trying to figure it out along the way.

Well, in the thing that I've really found over and over and over again, not just in my journey, but in clients journeys, as well is, the more that we try to follow other people's recipes, the more that we're disempowering ourselves, to find our own recipe, because the truth is that every single human being on this planet has a different recipe. And we try to take the easy way and say like, oh, well, so and so just did it like this. So let me just do it like that. And it doesn't work that way, if you're not doing the work to figure out what your recipe is, if you're not doing the work to figure out who your future self is, if you're not doing the work to like really sit down and understand your unique contribution and how it expresses through you and what your zone of genius is, and all of those things. You're going to be left searching over and over and over and over and over again. I see this a lot in the marketing world to so many people say, Well, you know, so and so told me that if I just do this, this and this, they'll have a seven figure business and then they come to me and they're like, I didn't I didn't build a seven figure business. And I'm like, I followed all the

steps. It just didn't work for me. I mean, that's what you're right. And my grandma used to always say it was the divine discontent, where we're like, why am I not happy with this? Why isn't this working for me? But I did everything. She told me. He told me the steps. And now I'm feeling like an even bigger failure. Right?

Because the thing that's missing from that ingredient list is our own unique divine wisdom. Yeah. And the truth is had I had I like, so I didn't tell my parents, I was shutting down on my fashion business. They actually found out on Facebook, and I didn't really talk to a lot of people, I just did it. And had I gone to other people and said I'm thinking about doing this thing. I know that all of them would have reflected back to me. But you're so talented, but this it's you're dressing these celebrities, you're doing this thing this worked that works like why would you ever walk away from it? And we turn to so much externally to give us the answers or the recipes for that internal contentment. And it doesn't work that way. No one else I mean, you can go to people for insights, you can go to people for wisdom, you know, you can talk through things go to people that ask you really great questions or, but like you, you can't go to someone to get that divine wisdom that's within you. It's just there.

No, I love what you just said. And I do want to highlight this because this is so important. How many times for everyone listening out there. Do you kind of have that inner voice? I call it the wise woman and she's trying to give you a little guidance, but you're like, I'm just gonna go ask so and so. And then you go, and maybe it's not exactly what you wanted to hear, because it's from their perspective. It's from their story base. It's from their belief system. So then you go to another person, and you do the same thing, and it's not quite what you want. And next thing you know, you've gotten all of these opinions. And you're now more confused than you ever were. Right? happens. And I love you did this, you took this step. You didn't go to your parents, although I just like it that is so unbelievable that they found out on Facebook, I mean, very well, not happy. That is so classic that is so like, now that I've gotten to know you. I'm like, Oh, my God, that's so incredible. But you decided because you knew what people would say, you knew it. We knew that they really, what are you crazy, like you got the successful business, you're been able to do all this incredible stuff. But yet, it wasn't divinely Yeah.

And that thing I've learned and, you know, bless other people that give us their opinions, like everyone does it, we all do it, I still do it, even though I try not to is, most people's opinions have nothing to do with us. They're through their filter, they're what they would do, most people aren't able to take themselves out of the situation enough to say, I know you. And based on who I know you to be, this would probably be the best option for you. I was really lucky to learn that in some therapy sessions with my sister and be able to practice like, we don't approach the world in the same way. And so I can't give you advice about what I would do. Because it's counterintuitive to your operating system. So most people that we go to advice about are going to give us what they would do, but we're not in them. And yes, it could possibly be food for thought. But maybe instead of them saying this is what you should do they say, Have you considered this angle? Or have you considered that angle? Right? It's, it's a very different approach. And so I'm very particular and protective of who I now go to, to ask for quote unquote, advice, because I know that most people can't give advice through a like neutral filter.

Right. And it is a I've been doing this, we you and I've talked I've been doing this for 24 years. It's it is a talent that you have to harness build on, because you have to take yourself out of what is naturally inclined to just give your advice. Now I do have to ask you, you've had a very successful TED X Talk. And the topic is from wages to wealth, the future of the female workforce. What is this all about? And how was that process? Because I know there's a lot of people listening that may even be contemplating, I'm raising my hand right now. I'm in the middle of writing mine, you know, that whole process around it? How was it?

It was stressful?

I'm finding it just to chat that way.

Yeah. I tend to ball myself up into these balls of stress. It's it's, I don't know why I do it. I know that I do it. I don't know why I do it. And I don't know why I can't stop doing it. But that's a story for a different day. So again, just being completely transparent with people, I decided I wanted to do a TED talk because it came to me in meditation in January of 2020. I did not get on the TEDx stage until November of 2022. So first things first, I just want to normalize for everyone. This is not an overnight process. I got multiple rejections multiple before I got to

writing a book. I mean, this business of like, you can write the book in arrow using AI, you can write it in a day a week block, like literally, it is it it's emotionally charged, like my book was I'm like,

wow, like, and the thing I'll tell you too, is that I got accepted. And I sent my first draft. And because I had spent all sorts of time writing this beautiful speech sent my first draft then, and the organizers said, Nope, put it in the trash and start again. And so like a lot of TED talks, I

think I just threw up in my mouth. No, I'm kidding. A lot of

TED Talks want you to just go in with an idea because they want to work with you. Now this isn't the case for all of them, but they want to work with you to develop up the thing. And I didn't also know that the script has to be approved by TEDx because if it's not, they won't put it on their YouTube channel. Like it's a whole thing and a whole will process and so an I elected to memorize mine. So I memorized the entire thing.

Except for how long? How long was it a third team? So people need to know 13 minutes to memorize the whole thing. I mean, ASAP. Okay, and because you wanted that to be fluid as you were delivering or why didn't

you, because I stressed myself out so much. I made myself sick that for the last three days leading up to the talk, I was in the fetal position, and I couldn't do anything and I couldn't eat. And I, it was bad. It was really bad. I didn't know I went to do the walkthrough. And I love my parents so much my parents were in the audience. And Friday night was the walkthrough Saturday night was the talk, I couldn't even make it through, like I was in so much pain, I couldn't focus to make it through the talk. And my mom looked at my stepdad and was like, Ooh, this might go very poorly tomorrow. But I went to bed early, I didn't eat, I got up, I did some digestive yoga. I like got myself ready, I drank a lot of water, like, and I delivered, I only had to, I think restart once during the talk, which they say like we're going to record it, it doesn't have to be perfect from end to end, we will crop we will cut. So if you need to restart 20 times, just do it. I only had to restart once. But I stood backstage while everyone else was delivering their TED Talks. And I paste and I practiced and I paste and I practiced and I paste and I practiced. And I had only done the ending to my TED talk maybe once or twice before I took the stage. And I just at that point was like, let go and let God like I just have to trust that the universe is going to move through me and speak what I need to speak and that I'm going to be taken care of. And so what was the Okay, so,

so fascinating. What's the premise? Like, what are you trying to really deliver? What is the if I were to say, you know, like, why did you write the book? Well, why did you do this talk,

I firmly believe that the glass ceiling is never breaking. And I am so sick of listening to women talk and fight against something that they have no control over, when they could evacuate that building. And go to one that doesn't have a ceiling. That's collaborative, that's community based, that allows us to have the economic equity that we deserve that. And so really, my entire platform, both with my for profit, and my nonprofit, is all about helping women become entrepreneurs. Because I firmly believe that that is where we are going to find an end. It's not just that I believe it, I know it, I've seen it, I've done it, all the women around me have done it. Like, you know, we don't have to fight or deal or worry about all of this nonsense. Every day, we're putting our energy into things that matter. And we're getting paid for it. And so like that's, that's the world that I want to see. You know, there's also all sorts of studies about what happens when women are in leadership positions and the state of the world, just like I mean, there's so much out there around why more women should be business owners and should be employers.

What I do have to ask you so, you know, we both work with female entrepreneurs to really and it's not just about, you know, creating a scalable business that's going to have profit margins, and it's about empowering you, right? This is what we're trying to do is to create, like you said, you don't believe that the glass ceilings are ever going to be, you know, literally shattered, right? And it is kind of an interesting concept to think about shattering it and like, can you see the glass falling? instead? When you think of the glass ceiling, it it is that internal glass ceiling that you have, right? It's your own, your own? And if you can, as we do mindset, peak performance habit training, what do you really work with people to be able to take that oh my god, I'm not going to get where I want doing this job. I'm going to become an entrepreneur. And how what's the first because we talk about steps right you know, there still are we still are logic based, but you got to have the heart connection head heart, highest self. But what do you how do you begin that process? someone's listening right now? What's the best way to really get into the right mindset because the statistics out there? Of course, they still put these things out which by the way, it's cheap. Changing, we're just not hearing enough about it because they still want us to be, you know, held in this vise grip of like, no, no, no, no, keep doing what you're doing. How do you how do you coach people through this?

You know, especially if it's a new entrepreneur, I mean, I really just help them continue to tap into what that future self looks like. In fact, I'm actually I'm getting ready to launch a new program that's just around becoming your future self. The more that you can understand who that person is, and how they operate and what they believe and the way they make decisions and like, the more that you get that understanding in that knowing and see yourself already doing it in the future, it's easier to make that decision in the present moment. So that's one of my favorite things to do. I do it through visualizations, I do it through hypnosis. I do it through asking really great questions and sales calls. And even helping entrepreneurs, women who are already entrepreneurs say yes to that next level. It's a similar thing. It's like we really have to get that vision like and are you willing to trust that because you have that vision in your heart, that you're going to be able to do what you need to make that vision visible from your eyes as well.

To Okay, I'm gonna add this is so awesome. Because just recently, I had a group of women coaching call. And one of the women said, so help me understand if I am creating this future version of me my new identity in the future where I have this company, and I'm impacting, and I'm growing it and I'm showing up as my you know, she said, Three HQ version of myself. But how do you cross the chasm between where they are today? And where they want to go? What do you how do you coach people through that?

This is one of my favorite things. So I stopped, we stopped seeing them is separate from us. Because they're not separate from you. So the whole thing about understanding how your future self makes decisions is not just to know how they make decisions, it's so that you can start making decisions in that way. You once you know your future selves perspective, their belief system, their thought patterns, you literally get to start seeing through their eyes, and then there is no separation, you're not going to your future self. She's not out there somewhere in some faraway land, you're not taking a journey to go find her. She's already within you. So it's less about going to her or you know, figuring out her like any of that stuff. It's it's truly about becoming her. And like so many I'm doing a webinar this week. I know our episode will come out after this but it's called like becoming exponential. And it's like really, the new program is called like the Beyond Boundaries blueprint. And it really is all about like, how do we break through those boundaries within us that are holding our future selves down and keeping us from operating like her acting like her walking like her talking like her believing like her thinking like her seeing through her eyes making decisions like her. Because once you can do those things, you are her.

That is so well said. And the way I love there is no separation just like there is no separation of all you being you the women that you have been to get to where you are right now. It's built up. It's that foundation. It's building yourself. It's building blocks, right, and you can't it's like Jenga, you can't take out one of the pieces that's just barely, you know, allowing it to teeter totter there and say we were starting over No, you can't start over You are a beautiful compilation of everything that you have ever been and will be so that Bri is awesome. So where can people find out more about you hear about these incredible programs that you're launching?

Yeah, my website is my name. So it's briseeley.com. There are three E's in my last name s e e l e y, people spell it wrong often. I'm also on Instagram at BriSeeley, I'm on Facebook I'm on LinkedIn I'm all the places at Bri Seeley and I wanted to touch quickly what you just said as well is like I the part of the reason I love your podcast this idea about relaunching right I talked to so many women that are like oh well I'm starting over you're on not starting over. And as much so many people asked me to, they're like, how do you go from fashion designer to entrepreneurial success designer? Like, did you it was like, you know, an ending, and then a down to zero and then restarting, right. And I'm like, No, so many people came with me, there's no, like, there's no, you're not starting over. That's like, I just, I love this idea, like you just presented of, it's just, we're continuing to just build upon what we've done in the past. And even though your last step, and your next step might seem very disconnected. It's all still within you. It's all of those puzzle pieces fitting together, that it's amazing how much of my, like creation through fashion, comes into the creation process and business as well. salutely I never would have seen it before someone pointed it out to me several years ago, and I was like, oh, huh, yeah, yes, that is true, right? Like, I didn't start from zero again, I wasn't starting over. I was continuing my journey. That's

why people ask me all the time. Why didn't you just call it launch? Like you're launching? Like, because you're not, you literally are taking, you're at a much better position than just a launch a launch means that maybe you don't have any prior prior knowledge around it. But we WISEWOMAN that we are we have like a tremendous amount of wisdom inside of us, that we actually do harness in order to really launch into that next best version of ourselves. We're not starting there. And God help us if we had to start over. Truly. I mean, wow, that would be that'd be really hard. No, can

you imagine if we had to, like, drain our brains and like, get rid of everything we've ever dial against or learned and

lessons learned? No, they were painful. We had to get through, I'm not willing to throw them away. Right? I will re awesome. I have loved talking to you. And again, thank you for being on. We will have everything in the show notes. But is there? Is there a wise woman comment that you can leave our listeners with at this point,

the biggest thing that I always like to leave people with is have the courage to start listening to the whispers they're there for a reason. They're trying to share with you an opportunity. And listen, before they become screams. A lot of my screens have come in the form of car accidents, which I'm not a big fan of I've

luckily we don't we don't want that. We don't want that for anyone actuated from that.

But like give yourself permission to have the courage to listen to the whispers I promise. I don't know. I've really never seen someone's whispers lead them in the wrong direction. So yeah,

that's a great, great way to end it. So everyone, thank you for tuning in today. And until next time, live now love now. relaunch. Now, do not wait. As you heard Bri talk about it. You know, if you could relaunch today, think about where you're going to be tomorrow. Everyone take care. We'll see you next week.

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