Being the son of Steve & Amy - Blake Hardison

Welcome to The Ultimate Coach podcast conversations from being inspired by the book The Ultimate coach, written by Amy Hardison, and Alan Thompson. Join us each week with the intention of expanding your state of being, and your experience will be remarkable. Remember, this is a podcast about be. It is a podcast about you. To explore more deeply visit theultimateCoachbook.com. Now, enjoy today's conversation from being

Hello, and welcome back. My name is Philippe Bartu and today is a unique episode of The Ultimate Coach podcast. Now for most people, when they hear the name Steve Hardison, they think of the ultimate coach, the man who has people flying in from all over the world to experience transformational coaching. But for my guest today, Blake, Steve Hardison is dad. And Amy is mom. And today we get to discover a brand new perspective of both Steve and Amy from the perspective of Blake. So good to have you with us today. Like thank you for being here.

Thanks for having me, you're gonna have to excuse me, I'm getting cold. So my voice might be cutting in and out. But I wouldn't miss it. I'm very excited to deal with Yeah,

I love that commitment. You know, a lot of people would have said, hey, you know what, Philip? I'm not feeling well, let's Let's reschedule. And, you know, you're here. And that's, you know, in a way that I've had conversations with your dad where he could barely speak, he was like, losing his voice. And you know, he was just he was right there. And so yeah, thank you. Thank you for, for being here. How would you like to just introduce yourself today?

Oh, yeah. You know, I love how you teed it up. It's interesting, as I've read, the ultimate coach, the book of being, I think I have an interesting perspective on it, you know, there's, I guess everyone has their own perspective on it. But as I've read it, there's moments where it's, I just stand back. And I think that's my dad. And that's my mom who wrote it. And I just have this immense amount of love. Like, I could read it from the perspective of like, hey, you know, there's distinction that can help me in my own life. Don't get me wrong, like those occur. But something that's deeper for me, is, I have this one relationship with a father and I have this wonderful relationship with the mother. And that's one of the most precious things in the world for me. So I just have this amount of pride and love and care for those two people. Man, if the conversation goes that way, I just love to talk about what it's like to love our respective parents. And then also, I'm the mother of a six year old, a five year old and a two year old. And being a dad, and the husband. There's nothing more important to me. So I think people know who've read the book, I've actually hired my father, to coach me, and He charged me the normal fees. What I want out of life, it's not to be the next great businessman. It's not to be the next great fill in the blank. But what I care about is I care about being a good father. And so if we want to kind of sit in that I'd love to spend some time there. Oh, that's so beautiful.

Well, I'd like to Yeah. And I'd like to come back to you with some some of those things that you said. But just to just to start off with, like, what does make being a father even mean to you?

Oh, man, it depends where you catch me. So I'm saying like we talked about, and so so my wife could get some sleep. I slept on the couch last night because I was tossing and turning. And my six year old son's soon to be seven year old son. He woke me up four times last night in the very little slump that I that I had. And that's a portion of what it's like to be a father, right? Like when I'm barely having enough gas to go. I had to give the little that I had to help him. And don't get me wrong. Would I have liked a slap the time that I had? Yeah, like I would have preferred that. Yeah. But I enjoyed the time that I had with him, right. And he woke me up because he had a nightmare. The other time he woke me up because he needed some water and he didn't even wake me up to get the water. It's just where I was sleeping was on the path to get the water. And the other time he wanted to come sleep on the couch next to me and I don't even remember the fourth time when he was Hmm, did to wake me up. But where I feel really lucky is I don't even know what it is. But there wasn't any angst or aggravation of being woken up. It's like, I just love being around my son. Like, I just genuinely love to be around my son. So, for me, that's in part what it is to be a father. It's like, it's not. Dang, how do I handle this situation? It's like, I had joy of being around my son four times last night.

Yeah, that's, that's so beautiful. And is that would you say, how do you experience your childhood?

It's funny, knowing that we were gonna have this podcast, I thought a lot about my childhood. And there's a lot of my childhood that I don't remember. And it's just what you remember, as a kid. I think it's hard to remember your childhood.

Yeah, there are always those like moments that you never forget, right?

Yeah, you have both of those. And there's something special in that. So for example, when COVID hit, we locked down in my family, just kind of like the average family may think we're middle of the bell curve. And so we stopped going out and I had a lot of memberships. That's how I have fun with my kids. Like we had a membership to the Phoenix Children's Museum, when we had a membership to the aquarium here, local in the low here, local in Phoenix, it's actually in Scottsdale. And so it was about a year and a half before we started going to all those places opened up. And my son, who was I think, two at the time, when I took him back out. And he was four at the time. I mean, I'd taken him to the Phoenix Children's Museum, heck, I don't know, 50 times, I get spent countless hours with him. I take him to the Phoenix Children's Museum again, or the aquarium again. And he didn't remember a single time that I took him there before. Like the amount of money and time I invested in those experiences. He didn't have a memory of any of it. So it's interesting.

What age was that? He didn't have a memory of it. Like How old was he?

Yeah, two and three

years young? Yeah.

But even the concept of like, you know, what was my childhood? Like? I can only imagine the things that my parents did, that I just have no memory of all the all the stuff they did to love and serve me. Yeah.

Well, you know, as you as you look back at your own childhood, what would you say was some of the defining moments that you experienced? That you remember? In relationship to family life and to your parents? Yeah.

You know, that's a really good question, Phillip, I think it's the small stuff that makes up like, the defining moments. Like, I'm sure I had a few big moments, watershed moments. I think it was a lot of the small stuff that my parents did that really made it. Who I ever made my siblings who I am, I can think of, and I think a lot of it didn't make it inside the book. But it was such a brilliant job of who my parents were, and for example, and they wouldn't highlight this themselves, and I feel even a little shy doing it. But there's this real culture of generosity that my dad instilled inside of our family. Like, yeah, it's just just from small things to things. And there were times in my childhood, where he heard the families in need, and he would go over there, and he would drop them off of a large check, just because they needed it, but he wouldn't tell anyone about it. And I saw that as a young like as a kid. And that meant a lot to me. And I know that that is something that has become a large, significant part of my life and my siblings life and that is something that I will do in my life and continue to do with my siblings to it and I know that that is something that I teach my kids as a six year old and a five year old and a two year old. And even small things I remember being in a drive thru one time, like I can still picture and it was on McPhillips road. Somewhere between I've moved out to Phoenix now so now I'm kind of forgetting the crossroads, but it's on the Celts road. And my dad just bought the food for the car that was behind us. And that was like, Man, I'm not one instance for my kid like for my childhood, but he would constantly be doing things to serve other people. Actually, and seeing that as a kid. It it was life changing. Not one instant. Yeah. one upon the other one upon the other and it shaped who we are. As a family, right that it created a family culture saying, You have money, or you have wealth or you have resources, not just for yourself, you take care of other people, other people matter.

And you know what I'm hearing in that as well as there was no seeking for any validation, or looking good. It was. It was just an act of generosity, an act of love and act of caring.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, you weren't, you weren't seeking entity from anyone else. Besides someone needed help. Serve them?

Yeah, that's, yeah. So when you get to experience that over and over and over again, it also, I imagine that also does something to your relationship with money. Have you considered that?

Absolutely. So it teaches you that there's an abundance with money, right? Yeah,

exactly. You grow up with, like an example of abundance, a lived example of abundance. I mean, that's, gosh, this is, I think the first time I hear someone who grew up with that. So I was amazing. Yeah,

it was in the book. I was, and you know, the human memory, it's like, did anything I shared, this is the best of my memory, right? I think I was about six years old. My dad comes home with what was called a cache keeper. And it had these pouches. And it had a pouch for money that you earn for savings, money, or for spendings. And money that you give away to charity at six years old. And it's not like if someone just sent this book there to a six year old, it's later man, I'm like, I'm gonna watch my cartoons. I'm gonna go play basketball. My dad was being to teach me the lessons like there was a general ledger where you take a pen, and you say, Here's the money I earned, here's where I'm getting it up. And like, you start writing it down. And I got lit up as a sterile think how hard that is, as a father to get a six year old to get like, inspired by like the concept of allocating your dollars and giving your money away. Yeah, sure. I'm doing this general ledger and seeing the abundance of money. And I'm doing chores and armor, it's like, the principle he taught me was 10 1080. Where it's, that's what he called it, where it's like, okay, you take your money 10% of it, you give it away to charity. And however you want to do that 10% of it, you save it and 80% of it, you use it on your expenses. And if you can save more of it, save more of it, if you can, like everyone's in a different situation. Yeah. And I remember at the time that I'd get this $1 And I was so disappointed that I'd have to exchange my dollar for dimes, because I love that golden dollar bill. And so I negotiated with my parents, it's like, Hey, listen, I needed to get paid more. Because at the end of the day, I want that $1 Bill sit in my savings. So I bumped it up to like about 25 or whatever I needed to on the math, so I could divvy up everything else. And so my parents are really taught me this in especially my dad. mindset of, hey, listen, there's an abundance in this world. And he wasn't using those words, right? Because I can't really get their mind around that. But as a six year old, I was saving up and he would help me see the joy of, of charity as a 678 year old. And my you can you can count that my kids have. It's I've actually searched for it on Amazon and Ebay. I tried to find a cache keeper, I can't find the exact cache keeper. My kids have a makeshift cache keeper that that is living on in my kids, and they're doing charitable events, and they're learning about the abundance of life. And

that's amazing. I love that. Yeah. And I mean, also, like, have there been times where you just kind of forgotten about that, and fell into scarcity mode.

So I'm not sure if it's so black and white is like abundance mode and scarcity mode. But I can tell you that my parents also and I think a very brilliant way. Let me figure out how to do life. Like I got married young. I got married when I was 23 years old. And they I figured out finances myself, they they were not supporting me at all. And so I was living in an apartment that was adjacent to a trailer park. And we I was just telling my kid, my oldest boy and my two older boys. Every night when I put them to bed. They choose a number and they know that number represents whatever age I was. And last night they chose an age. And I tell them a story about however old I was. They love it. That's their favorite part of bedtime. Oh, that's so cool. And they chose the age where I was this age where my wife and I were living in her apartment next to this trailer park. And I said, Listen, guys, we didn't go out to eat at all. And this is not an exaggeration, like we did not go out to eat at all, because we did not have any excess income. Because I wasn't making any money at the time, like I was working in commercial real estate. But the deals hadn't started coming together, you invest a lot of time before things start paying off. And what my parents did a really brilliant job. That is they taught me the value as a six year old the value of money, but also when things were really hard, they let me struggle, and I didn't go to them for money. And they didn't I didn't want it. They didn't want it. And that's when you know, when things came together. There was success, it was that much sweeter. So I wouldn't say there was scarcity at that time. But there was the real pressures of life where I got to the point where I was, don't get me wrong, like compare my self to someone else. It's like I'm not saying I was it. Like there's people have suffered way, way, way, way, way more, but it's like the story I told my kids is we only went out to eat when it was our birthday. Because you could go Firehouse Subs. And they gave you a free sub on your birthday. And I stepped out to take a business call. And we had a meatball sub. And it was special for my wife and I had to go out to eat because we didn't have any excess income to do that. And my wife accidentally knocked this like a sub on the floor. And it's got all that marinara sauce. Imagine a marinara sauce falling on asphalt because we were eating outside how that would stick in the marinara sauce and how just discussing that would be? Well, she just picked it up and tried to pick all the asphalt and dirt out of it. And she just set it back on the table. Because it's like, we're not throwing that away. Right. Like we don't have. That's our food. And that's what we're going to eat. So I sat back down and I I hate my dirt meatballs. My Yeah. So no, we we made sure that we we've lived it all. Yeah, so

23 You were not going out to eat unless there was something to celebrate. And then how old were you? When you decided to hire your father as your coach?

Oh, I'd have to add it up. But I think I was 25 or 26. Maybe?

Because that's very, very young. So tell me about that. Like, what's the story? How did that How did that even come about?

Yeah, so I was working in commercial real estate deals started happening at a fast pace. And I saw for years, I saw people go to my dad. And they would walk away having these amazing experiences that they would have amazing, amazing experiences, like every single one. And I wanted to have those type of experiences. So I sat down with him and I had a conversation I said, Hey, Dad, listen, I want to be part of like I, I didn't say these words, but it's like, Listen, I don't want to be left behind. Like I want a part of it. And he said, Okay, that's great, but like, and you're gonna have to pay me like any other client pays me. And what I could see is he and he told me this quite candidly, he said, Listen, I don't need your money. But I need your level of commitment. Because without that level of commitment, it wouldn't work. There's too many barriers, right? And that's where it began. And it's it's interesting, so many people asked me about what it's like working with my dad. And I can tell you this. i And I've just I've introduced different clients to my dad, there is no question when they walk out of the first meeting with him or 100 hours of working with him, that it is going to be a brilliant experience that it's going to be worth their sacrifice of flying from New York or Florida or from Australia or Argentina, or the resources they put up. It's like, I don't even think in those terms. Like it's a it's a no brainer. So what was it like for me, it's like, how can I walk past water in a desert and diagnostic good?

You know, I just find that also speaks volumes to your humility because it's not a given. Like it takes something into be willing to get coached by your dad and found most like most, it's actually I've never heard that even before like that that story really, really struck. It really struck me because I wouldn't even you know, I would even have like a lot of my own sort of hesitations that would get in the way of that. How long did you work with

him for 100 hours?

Wow, you didn't 100 hours over the space of a year.

Maybe it was over two years, over two years.

And how did that affect your relationship with him after was if anything at all?

No, it was great. Like it was great. We were I guess that's a funny question to answer because I didn't look at it with my relationship with my dad I had. I had a great coaching experience. He's still my dad, right? Like I didn't walk in and I didn't say hi, the ultimate coach like you still my father, right? She's my dad. Right? Yeah. But it was. There was multiple times where he'd say to me like, hey, Blake, don't don't get me wrong. If like, if you're not coachable, I will fire you. I don't care that you're my son or some version of that, right? Yeah. But I so thoroughly wanted what he had to offer. Yeah. I don't think we ever even came close to that point, because I wanted to be coached. And I think, like, to my earlier point, people who work with my dad, they get what they want. Like, it's a life changing experience. So I don't feel like I had any friction at all, when I was working it through like when I had that 100 hour experience, because I was getting what I wanted, right? Like, it's amazing experience. So I don't necessarily view it like what was my relationship? Like with him? I was, I was having this incredible 100 hour experience. So I'm more viewed as like, and I had this great experience. It was awesome. Oh, yeah. And I was really close with my dad. Like, it was like, it was this byproduct. Now what's the most important thing in the world for me, my relationship with my dad. But at the time, I was so invested in the coaching experience, I was focused focusing on the coaching experience. Like I wasn't focusing on my relationship with my dad, I was focusing on I am being coached. Let's, let's, this is the task.

I mean, this is a bit like the same question I'm going to ask you from your childhood. But was it was there a defining moments in that coaching relationship where you really woke up to seeing something? No, it was like, again, it was like, just just a lot of? Well, you tell me, what was it? Oh, that's

a good question. I don't know, man. For me, my experience is I don't have I don't feel like I have a lot of defining moments in my life. Like, maybe I do. I feel like it's more like the sum total. Right? Like, I go in, like, who I am two months after working with my father, or two months, or three months or four months, and I look back and it's like, Man, I like who I am way more four months into it than I did before working? Or six months or eight months, nine months. Yeah, it's it's much more than that. Like, oh, man, one thing was sad. And now my life has changed. It's the process that was so miraculous, as opposed to just one event. Yeah.

And was there ever a time where you were like, I don't want to do this anymore?

No, no, not at all.

I think that also speaks about the power of commitment. You know, you were all in? That's what I'm hearing.

Yeah, it was a it was a absolutely great experience. Absolutely. Great experience.

And is that money you had saved up? Or did you have to borrow money to do that? Because I'm just curious, like, how that's even possible. To have that sort of money? Yeah. At the age of like, 2627.

Oh, my, my dad wouldn't let me borrow money from someone. I don't think I don't think that's part of the principles of our family.

They would you would have to create that money first. money first. Yeah, that is Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Well, less less. That's just fascinating. I was reading your attribute on the ultimate coach, are websites and there's a story about the vacuum. You wanting to be As a baseball player, because you said about that,

yeah, yeah. So I don't remember the exact age. Maybe I was 1211 1213. Somewhere in that range. This goes into people ask, you know, what was it like to be the son of Steve Hardison? You know, did he coach, you know, quote, Coach, you? It's like, I don't know how to answer that question. But I know. He was a great father. So one of the things I always say about my dad is, let me say this before I tell that story, one of the things that I most appreciate about my dad is he always say to me, still does say to me, he says, There's nothing you need to do. There's nothing you need to be for me to love you. And I say that to my kids almost every night. When I tuck them into bed, that's so important to me. I want my kids to know, there's nothing they need to do. There's nothing they need to be for me to love them. And so when he was helping me with baseball, he didn't need me to be like this great baseball player. That's something that I wanted to be. And so when I was 11, or 12, I really started falling in love with baseball. And I was good at a local level. Like I was one of the best All Star all star players on whatever the kind of like the city Lee is. And then I got, I don't even know how it worked out. I was just a kid who loved playing baseball. Then I started playing for a team that was a travel team that went back and played at Cooperstown, New York. So a travel team, my parents would know the structure of how that like the tryouts and all that worked better. I was just playing baseball. But we were playing all the time. And so, but when it got to that level of competition, I remember going to the tryouts and the kids were good. I mean, like, they were really, really like, Next Level talented. And so I just, I remember being like, man, like this is this next level. And I'm not sure the order of when this happened, where it fell in. But what my dad did is, he helped me see like, man, you can create your future with your thoughts. And so he took my catcher's mitt, and on the back of the mitt with a permanent marker, he wrote the vacuum. And what he had me see Is he said, Hey, any ball that's in the dirt, because as a catcher your responsibilities, if someone throws a ball in the dirt, you can't let it get past you. You got to make sure you block it and keep it in front of you. He says you're gonna suck that ball up, like a vacuum, just like you are the vacuum. Nothing gets past you. So we wrote that on my mitt. And as a catcher, you see the back of your mitt on every single pitch that comes in. And so not only did he call me the vacuum, all of my teammates saw this catcher's mitt, and they started calling me the vacuum. And so we created this future that I could live into. And it was more than that. And that's like the easy, like first step of like a story that you can convey. But you created this future where it's like, I was not like, like, naturally gifted, like the most talented athlete. But by the time we got to this Cooperstown tournament, and I think a lot of goes to my father, it's like I was, I was a really, really good player. I think the vast majority of that came to the mental aspect of the game. Yeah, that was because my father.

Yeah. Yeah, fantastic story. And so practical. And how that was, yeah, you can see it was men with some talent, but it was a mindset that you have, as how you saw yourself, like you saw yourself as the vacuum, you created yourself as the vacuum. And that affected your performance.

Yeah, and I think even before that, my dad saw me as the vacuum, right, like he had the confidence that an 11 or 12 year old, probably would never have. So yeah, I see myself as the vacuum. And I think that's what's so brilliant about my father's like, he sees in other what they don't see in themselves, and then he helps them. And he might say differently, right? So all you could just do a caveat over everything I say, This is my perception of you, you might have a completely different perception of all of it. Right? So this is just me speaking as me. But what I think is so clearly it's, it's, he saw it in me before I taught in me. But then where the power really is magnified is when I see it in me. And that is where I'm able to deliver because I'm the one batting. I'm the one catching there was something else that he did like so I love basketball or love to basketball. And I even man I mean like these principles that he instilled in me at such a young age so beneficial. because now it's like, am I playing basketball now? No. But it like it bleeds into every aspect of my life. I was, I don't know, seven, eight. And I would play, and I would get fouled. And I mean, like, I get hit across the arm. And like, you open up a rulebook, and you read the rulebook. And by the letter of the law, like there's no getting around it, I was found. And so what does 99% of the population say? It's like, Oh, you were fouled the reference to the ball? Like, you say, my dad wouldn't do that. He was a, it's not a foul. Unless the ref calls a foul. Yeah. And so I'm a seven year old, and he's teaching me this distinction, not in these words, like an owner versus a victim. Or he's dude, like, unless he calls it that is not about or any rulebook you show me? Yeah, you gotta learn how to finish that shot. They blow the whistle. Yeah, it's like, that's the other I was growing up with. So it's like the same thing in life now with like business, it's like, Hey, listen, it's not a foul unless they call it out, like, Don't moan and complain, if you just get the job down on. Are you an owner? Are you a victim? Or it's like, in just life in general? Like, are you an owner a victim?

Or is like radical accountability? You know, there's, there's someone that went out of communication with me. And I tell you, my, my instinct was like, oh, this person, and I was making her wrong about it. And I had to really stop myself and look at how did I create that? And, you know, every part of me wanted to be like, make her wrong, and started to look at, you know, what, there was an absence of connection that I wasn't aware of. And then, you know, looking at how can I, you know, take full account, like, not responsibility. I'm not responsible for her actions, but I am accountable for my impact on the world. And that's really, you know, hearing you say, that's just reminding me of the power of like, radical accountability.

Yeah. Yeah. And

it's radical, because no one does that. Right. We're so quick to, to judge and blame and finger point. And to stop and just, totally just take full ownership. It's a very radical way of being a very empowered.

Yeah. Really? No, no, I

just, I just love it that you shared that.

Yeah, thank you for sharing what you shared as well. Yeah. And, you

know, I also want to share something what I'm hearing and all this is that, I'm just listening to you. And through this conversation, I have also felt a deeper appreciation for my parents. And there's a story that, you know, there was a German man who was, he had two kids, we were living in Paris, and he lost his job. And he, he was, like, an addict of, you know, he was recovering from, from drug addiction, tattoos all over his body. And my parents are pretty judgmental, when it comes to like the way people look. But with this man, they just took him on and really, really wanted to help him. And there was, they were doing that we were renovating a garage, and transforming it into a TV room. And they hired him to do the job. And he in a way, for me, that was the first time I just got to experience and my parents, especially my father, really put aside judgment and feel compassion and love for another human being that would have been someone who I had imagined him, you know, judging. And just that experience, for me was a defining moment. Because it showed me a way of, you know, one of the things Steve says, no one is worthy of my judgment. Everyone is worthy of my love. See, I got to experience that in that moment.

That's beautiful. That's really beautiful. Thanks for sharing that Philip.

Initially, and the guy was a coffee addict. He would drink I think, like five liters of coffee a day. And even then, they put a coffee maker in the room and they just made sure he got what he needed. He smoked 20 cigarettes a day. They made sure he got old he was able to smoke. i There was such an openness. And that was really Yeah, that really left me learning I was very, very touched by how they behaved. Yeah. So I'm reminded of that just through this conversation.

Yeah, it's something special to love when they, when they, when they inspire you, right? Like, that's

when you see that, yeah. And everything was paid upfront, and he needed the money and he had some debt to pay off. And it was the agreement was, I'm gonna give you all this money upfront. And in return, you know, you're gonna take your time and renovate this, and this is what we want to have done. But there was such a level of trust. And this because he has been a family friend. For for years, years years to come afterwards. I think we even had an we even had him over for Christmas one. So it was quite Yeah. quite astonishing. Yeah. Wow. That's awesome. That's great. And now that you're, you're a father of three, and remind me like the age of your kids,

a six year old, five year old and two year old. Wow.

And you know, I'm just been a father. Now I'm a new dad with a three month old baby Oliver. So this is kind of irrelevant for me. What is it that you some of the principles that you've taken on that you'd say are our I mean, you've shared, you know, one of them around money, which is definitely different, and abundance. But are there any other principles that exist in your house that you think are kind of unique?

Oh, that's a good question. Let me think about that. So I can answer it. You know, there's, there's things that I do. And I, I mentioned this year, when we were chit chatting, before we started recording, I actually in a conversation we had earlier, when my kids were born. Oh, man, I love that we do this. So when my kids were born, we set up an email address for each one of them. And they have their own email address, they don't know about this. And as they do different things that I just think, when they see something that's funny, or when they do something that I'm really proud of, you know, life is so busy, I'll just quickly take out my phone. And I'll send myself a quick email just talking about like, quick notes on that. And then the first of every month, once the kids have gone to sleep, I'll write him an email. And I will formulate that out, excuse me, I'll compile that. And I'll send it to him. And so now, they have this growing list of emails of things that they've done as a child. And we talked earlier today, where it's just like, Man, I don't remember my, there's so much of my childhood that I don't remember. Or it's like, I want my kids as they grow up, just to know how much their father loves them. And they'll be able to go, I'm not sure. I don't have the end game figured out here. But at some point, I'm going to say, Hey, boys, I have these email addresses for you. And when your 2345, and so on, and so forth. Look at all these look at all these experiences that we've had together. And I want them to be able to have that. And I think that really stems from like, I felt this real love and appreciation for my parents, and I just want I there's so much about parenting that is tailor made to each kid. There's so much about parenting. And sure there's so many areas where I'm gonna mess up, like so many areas where it's like, it would have been more productive to do it this way, there would have been so much more productive to do it this way. But I know I love my kids, like I know I love and if I just like lead with love, everything will be cool. And my parents may have love or they have they made mistakes. Absolutely. They've made mistakes, but they love me and like everything's cool, because they love me and I think that is what has permeated throughout my family.

Yeah, and you know what, I'm just love that and I find it so inspiring. One that email and something that they can treasure for the rest of their life and whenever they want they can dip into and just really feel that love, lead the love recover from love and and moved by what you showed earlier as well. You're done telling you and you're telling your kids there's nothing you need to do for me to love you. There's nothing for you to be are you to love me. For me to love you. It's like my love for you is unconditional. Yeah, I just love you. Just the way you want. Yeah, and I think that is such a such a profound, deep yeah having that trust and that knowing not seeking validation and approval of your parents knowing that that is not a requirement for their love. How much? What? What would the world look like if we were all brought up that way? Yeah, yeah. Just think about that.

It's been such a fun experience to think of just my parents, as I knew we'd have this, this phone call. And the unique way in which, you know, my father is nothing if not unique. Right. Right. And so I thought, like, man, what, what makes my father unique? Like, what's an example of, of my childhood that I think other kids didn't have? Because, because honestly, it's like, I do think I had a childhood that was unlike other other childhoods. And one of the things that that was so beneficial, and then feel cut me off if this is too much. But one of the things that I loved, loved, that my father was teaching the mind of a seven year old or 12 year old or 15 year old, and it's really hard to articulate, but I think it'll be worth the time is, my father had me see that. The world isn't just the way that it is, just because someone tells you that it is like it's movable. It's flexible. It's, it's you can go crazy what's going on. I can't even think of a great example. But it's like, I'm literally making this up. But it's like, hey, Blake, let's have some fun. Let's go talk to the zoo. I'm just going buying a movie ticket. Let's go talk to the owner of the movie theater and say, Hey, can we just watch a movie and get popcorn? And do you have any deals where there are no costs theater days today? Like, just talk to the owner and see if he'll comp us for the day? Like selling where there's what my father wouldn't do? He played these games of his life, right? Yeah. Like how movable is life. But what was really it with my father, he says high level of integrity. And that this like this, holding both of those things, where it's like, what my father would never do is he would never, in my opinion, he'd never sneak in the back door of a movie theater. He'd never say like, Hey, like, let's just let's just have a fun day at the movies. And like kick the door open and like walk in and like, that wasn't stealing. But what you have to do is have conversations with people and move the world and see what we can do to like, how can we get? How can we go to the son's arena and getting the practice score and talk to the players just by having a conversation with someone? Yeah. But he wouldn't lie. He would do. And it's like this ability to say, Hey, listen, there might be a piece of yellow tape, they're saying stay out. But if you know how to talk to the right person, they'll welcome you with open arms and give you this big hug. But what you can't do is you can't cut the tape, and then tape it back together and not telling you about it. You have to have integrity. And you have to find out ways where it's like the world moves. But always be honest in the way that you get the world.

Yeah, I mean, what I'm hearing there, it's like living in a way where most people see limitations. Seeing possibility.

Yeah. And then I think where people get in trouble where you hear these, like, for example, like these people who fly too close to the sun, is they don't have the other portion of it. Right? Right. They they see. I wouldn't call it too much possibility. But what they do is they don't have integrity, where they spend too much ability. They brought people over they, they lie, they cheat, they steal the balance that father had with that and how he taught us, man, I will forever be grateful because as you grow up at you know, as a kid that makes you actually feel really uncomfortable. It's like Dad, please just buy the ticket. Like, let's just, let's just go into the movie. Yeah, grow up. And you like, have that instinct inside you. It's like, then you have these different experiences where it's like, no, like you can shit. Like shape things and create these things are movable. It's like, I will forever honor and love my dad for teaching me that concept.

Yeah, I love that. So we've spoken a lot about your data about yourself. And there's someone else I want to bring into this conversation before we complete Amy Hardison. Oh yeah. So I'd love to hear you share a little bit more about what is it like to have Amy as your mom

she's an angel. She's an absolute angel. I can't tell you how much that woman is special, anyone who ever gets a chance to just sit down and talk with her. So my mom is a specialist they come, I will. When I try home from work a lot of the days, a lot of days, I'll just pick up the phone and call her and just chat with her. She's the most delightful, pleasant, kind, peaceful woman that you will ever meet, like what people are striving for, as far as being at peace. She has, like she innately has. She is divine, like I, I speak highly more highly of a human being in this world than my mother. She is. love her dearly. She's She's, she's one of a kind.

And really, really feel that I feel the divinity and, and just the love for your mother, but also the love of who your mother is. Yeah, I'm so glad you said that. Like, it's been such a just such a beautiful experience to be here with you. Thank you for for your time and for sharing everything you shared with us. Is there anything you'd like to say before we complete?

No, just Phillip, thank you for your time. Thank you for what you do, and I really appreciate you.

Well, thank you, Blake. Yeah, I appreciate you too. If there's someone listening who's heard something and who wants to reach out to you and share any insight or remarks what would be the best way for them to connect with you?

They could email me the best way is my email is be Hardison, B's and Blake H AR D is O N at Ike CR e.com. That's li ke c r e.com.

Thank you so much. Well, thank you all. To all our listeners a special thank you for being with us for another episode. And I look forward to re listening to this one. Blake. This is one is definitely one I want to go back and listen to. And like I say, appreciate you I appreciate your time. And especially appreciate it for you being here and being sick at the same time. It's been marvelous. Thank you, bye.