Being With Vs Being For - Andreas Bueren

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The Ultimate Coach book has really touched hearts and lives all over the world. My name is Philip Bartu. And today we are going to Dortmund Germany to speak to us very special man by the name of Andreas Bueren Andreas. Welcome. And great to have you here with me today.

Hi, Philippe Thank you for having me.

Andreas, I'm gonna start just by asking you how is it out of? How did that how did that happen? You are an engineer? And just how did the ultimate coach book and up in your hands?

What a great question. So the short version of it is that I've been always interested in personal development, since I've been 18 years old. And yeah, I've been passionate about personal development, recreating your reality and reinventing yourself. It's always something that I was fascinated with since I was a teenager, and I can really pinpoint the starting point of that journey. So in television, there was a show called MTV made on MTV. Music, television. And did you say MTV made? MTV made? Yes. Okay. I'm taping mate. Yeah. And it was a show about people who wanted to real invent part of our lives. And it was so amazing to watch these people. And it really inspired me, it taught me how you can change your life. And it was really the starting point. And I got into personal development and dating because I was more of a shy person really introverted. And, yeah, that's how I got into all of them. These topics like success, inspiration, personal fulfillment. And in 2014, I got introduced to Brian Johnson, the founder of a company called optimize me, and he is also the founder of philosophers philosophers notes, book summary company. And he mentioned that he was coached by Steve Chandler and Steve Hardison. And that's how I got introduced to Steve Hardison, and I think it was 2016. And I followed him on Facebook, and was just so captivated by His presence and His way of being and his Facebook posts. And I was like, wow, who is this guy? So interesting. And, yeah, I've just kept in touch with him and stalked him, so to speak, on Facebook, and I think it was 2021 or 2020, when he announced that a book about him is being written by Andi Thompson and his wife, Amy Hardison. And that's how I got introduced to the book.

So what happened? You just ordered the book and it showed up on your annual mailbox one day?

Well, not really. So people could get an early copy of the book. Okay. And it was handed out to I think, 250 people, I'm not really sure about the number. But it was really something that I was interested in. And at the same time, I really felt don't get this early copy. Prepare yourself for this book, because there was a special post by Steve that he posted on the six teens of September and I'm As opposed to for the questions that later became the back cover of the book. And I really made a commitment to myself and said to myself, Okay, you're going to be risk with these questions. And you're going to absorb them, you're going to be with them until the whole book is complete, and finished and ready to be ordered on Amazon. And I said, No, I said to myself, Okay, you're going to do that. And when you're going to read this book, you're going to have a life changing transformation. And that's what I did.

So you already created the transformation. And that possibility, as a way of being through reading the book was it was there? What? What happened for you to say, I'm going to create that? How did that? How did it occur to you to do that?

Great questions. So I just knew that this book is absolutely powerful. And it really came from a place of curiosity, and also cure curiosity and sense of urgency, because I knew that my life wasn't really going the way that I intended it to be. So I had a like a recent break up. And I experienced a version of Sodaq lattices, so so to speak, so I just really knew Okay, I am ready for this book. And as you said, I created my experience of the book. And I said to myself, Okay, you're going to be with these questions for like 60 days, something like that, before you open the book, and you go to read the book from this place in the state of being open. And hello,

hang on, hang on a sec. Let me just slow that down. You just said that. You read the back of the book. And you spent 60 days just being with the back of the book? Is that what you're saying? Yes. I'm just going to take that in. So what did that look like? Did you everyday connect to those questions for 60? days? Yes.

Is this a solid looked like? So I really took Wallace's questions and made it like the question of the day sort of speaking. I went with this when I was on walks, I was pounding on this question and pondering upon it. And I was writing down my answers. And then there were more answers to the questions. And I went on a vacation for two went to Spain. And there was resist questions there at the beach. And it was absolutely amazing.

Wow, that's amazing. So I'm just gonna slow down, I'm gonna ask you, and then just kind of like, and just occurs to me to ask you a question. Because when you picked up the book, you weren't really fully in love with yourself and with life? Why? Yes, that's true. So so if we just just to give an insight into how you were experiencing these questions, and how you are really being with these questions, what occurs to you now, when I asked you, who would I need to be? To be fully in love with myself and with life?

Isn't it interesting that I would answer this question differently than I would have answered it back then. So who would I need to be to be fully in love with myself? And with my life? And the answer to that would be just be me to express myself fully and this just to fast forward a little bit. This is exactly what has happened for me. I'm just feeling so comfortable with myself and just expressing myself more and more.

So what was getting in the way of you just being you being so comfortable in your own skin? Being so self expressed what was getting in the way? wanted you to say,

what was getting in the way? Yes. Like, what was Hillary? Yeah, what

was just okay, yeah.

Well, a lot of thoughts, a lot of past experiences, and I really created myself as being stuck in life. Right? When, when you create yourself being stuck in life, you can't really move forward. Right?

Right. Were you aware though, that you were creating yourself? Probably not. No, you just thought necessary. I'm stuck. Yes. And so. And so, at some point you had to face. There was another possibility. Yes. How was that to? How was that experience for you? How did that? What was uncovered? And he wanted to share a little bit more about that journey? Sure, sure.

So interestingly, this is just something that I can see, in retrospect, it wasn't really that I was aware of, okay, I'm stuck. And I have to be unstuck, because this wasn't it at all. It was more like, okay, XYZ, and that in my life is not really working. I am committed to change, what do I have to do? Okay, I'm going to do that. And through the actions through through dunes, as I recreate myself, my state of being I wasn't then Andrea's Buuren, I was just action. And it's really interesting, because is really something that I noticed. And I also became part of the organization team for the London edition of the ultimate experience, I really had to step into parts of my being, I had to alter my state of being in that personality in order to serve and to honor my commitment.

Beautiful, beautiful. So here's, here's what I'm hearing is that there was a commitment that was made first. And then, after your commitment, you were someone that had to choose, am I honoring my word? Or am I honoring my thoughts and feelings about what I want to do? Yes. And that, and that was what kept you in action. And that was what stopped you from stopping yourself and giving in to thoughts, feelings, and ideas or reasons and considerations around why you should or should not do something. That is that is would you say that's, that's, that's an accurate picture of, of what you're sharing?

Is it's accurate?

Because it's so it's so simple. And there's this distinction that's occurring to me right now, which is around being unreasonable. Have you heard that? No, being unreasonable? Well, what does that mean to you?

What it means to me? Yeah,

when you have to be unreasonable

to dare to dream big to go for it. To really disregard all the limitations and the thought process that are within us that might stop you.

That's yeah. Yeah. So when I when I was reading the book, and I was just looking at it now. And I'm reading the sentence, who would I need to be to live the most extraordinary life I can live? And what occurs to me is, to be unreasonable. And when I want it, what I mean by that is, in any given moment, I'm either honoring my word, or my reason. You see that? And so for me, it's, it's allows me to see that I'm at choice. Am I honoring my word? Am I doing what I said I was going to do especially when I tell myself I'm going to do or am I doing? Am I giving in to the reasons and considerations I have? around why oh, I should or should not do something. And you know, how powerful that is, as a way to stay on the path to stay in action and to not deviate? And to not, you know, like, even before, you know, coming in this call with you and dress. Oh my God, I don't know what happened there was about there was like, Oh, I don't know if I really feel like it. All of that stuff was coming up for me. And And what's amazing is, is immediately when I just I was just present to that, you know, I wasn't like trying to pump myself or talk myself or motivate myself or oh, I need to say it's not like I need to push through it. It sounds like pushing through and it's really not pushing through. It's when resistance shows up like it did about an hour before I call and there was a temptation to To reschedule or the temptation to make that mean something, I am no longer being unreasonable. I am being reasonable. I am giving into my reasons, right.

Thank you so much for sharing that.

Yeah. So what occurs to me is, is just the power of, of not caring about how you feel. And for me, it's it's also really important. It's like, it's not that I am pushing through because that doesn't work for me. But I felt resistance, and I can just be with the resistance. So another thing is to just be with the resistance that shows up. And as I was, as I just was with it, just kind of like, felt really uncomfortable. And then I just kind of moved through it. And then I was like, Oh, I wonder what we're going to explore together with Andrea. So I'm bringing this up, because hey, this is what's present for me right now. Just fresh coming into our conversation.

Absolutely wonderful. I love it so much. Yes.

Okay. So let's come back to your story. Okay. So you, you said you spent six weeks being with the back of the book, you know, I have never heard that from anyone. I mean, that's extraordinary, because you're setting yourself up with such a deep level of understanding and, and a commitment to the book. So what happened after that? I'm really curious to hear more about that.

The funny thing is that all kinds of miracles showed up because of it. So it's, it really sounds corny, I know. But I really got introduced to the right people, the right books, the right the tutorials at the right time. So I was prepared for the ultimate coach book. So for example, on fortune two, I read referrals book, or, and also read, The Book of God were just sent in, it really resonated with me, because it was so personal and really mirrored my experience was my recent breakup and where I was being in life. And it was really amazing. And when I, when I opened the book, it was an absolutely wonderful experience. And I think I finished the book, and I think like one or two days, I'm not really sure about that. So

which which book you're talking about now. Oh, the ultimate coach, the ultimate. Okay, you read it in one or two days? Yes. Six weeks, six weeks on the back cover. And then in two days, you go through the whole bag.

Yes, but I really reread it a second time. And then I read it really about myself. And all kinds of miracles showed up. And it was also the time when Eric LaFawn created the ultimate coach Facebook group on the seventh of December. And now here's the kicker from the seventh of December, till the sink, it was 23rd of December, I had consequent constitute consecutive dreams about Steve Harvey results, like every day. This is something that has never happened in my life before the head dream for such a long time about a person. And it was absolutely nuts. And I felt like oh my god, I can't really share this anymore. Wow. And it was really a sign for me that my unconsciousness and my consciousness was prepared for this book and two teachings and I can really remember like the first days in the group that everybody enthusiastically shared about their experience of the book and was a really great atmosphere and everyone was excited about the book and what we're learning about being and on the 26th of December, I had a dream where I was in London, and the conference room was ankles Jane, and I sort of knew and Christian records we know all similar people from the three principals background, and on the 27th of December and early morning when I opened my laptop and saw that Matt Smith has announced ultimate experience In London, and I was like, oh my god, this is like the biggest natural sea university, you have to go to London, you have to do everything in your power to be there and to help him create the event.

Wow. Yeah. So yeah, it was just so loud and clear for you. Yes. Wow, I really hear that. And I also want to say that there has been an amazing amounts of people talking about how much you are such a source of encouragement and care and love for so many people and the creation of that event. Thank you.

Yes. I really stepped into into more into my beings. Yeah, this is maybe the point that I want to mention was really stepped into my being let go so much of my image, my personality, so to speak. Yeah, I've really focused on the commitment that everyone who would go to London will get transformative. Yeah, experience it. Yeah, sign up for. Yeah.

And maybe it's more stepping out of everything that is not you. So it's more like stepping outdoors or unvarying stripping away and then just you being Yeah, you being Andreas beuran. Dress, what else would you like to share with us today?

What would I love to share with you, I would love to dive more into being with and being for somebody. Because I think is just such a key to our experience as a group, and how we connect with each other when we talk about being in when we share ourselves, and just countless amazing stories of the people who shares a journey and insights in the group. And we have so many great life events. And there's just such a power and really being with and being for the people who share the journey. And it's really like the question, how much value can you create for yourself and others in the group, in the events in the meetings

and so on? Say that, again, how much what,

how much value you can create for yourself. And as intergroup because the learning opportunity is endless. There's just so much girls potential for all levels.

So how would you how would you talk about that distinction? What for you what's the difference between being worth and being for

when you're being for somebody, and you're really this, just putting away all of your judgments, you're just so full of love for for this person, and you're really cheering for them. So when somebody gives the speech or share somebody in the luxury, real, like sitting on your toes and really solving it all and you're really present with them, you're being with them, you're just totally present. And you're not really distracted or having it like on another browser tab. It really being fully present. And when you are that? Yeah, you can really be with somebody and get it. And

yeah, so So what I'm hearing is when you can really be with someone, you can be for them, you can be a champion for them. You can be source of of acknowledgement of encouragement, of possibility. People feel seen heard. Yes. And that's something that you've got to is that some is that one of the things that has shifted for you in how you show up in conversations in your day to day life?

Yes, it's become a big focus for me, because no normal day to day lives. There's just just so many choices, right?

It's true. I mean, for people who are like living just really busy, busy lives. Would you say that that's the case for you? Are you someone who was who's just has a lot going on in your life?

Yes, and that's the same time. I'm really conscious about creating space and time for for really focusing on what's present in front of me. So I just want to give you a short example. On Saturday, I was at a concert and it was not like for concert. It has been for upon for two years because of the pandemic. And it was the most amazing concert I've ever been to in my life. And I've been really experienced this being worse and being for the musicians who performed at a concert, and it was absolutely breathtaking. Because I was just really there. And I really had this experience of taking the music inside of me. And it still plays still playing inside of me. And the same goes for the conversations that I have, like that I have with you right now.

Oh, yeah, I can feel it. It's like music to my soul just listening to you talk about that and dress it when you say it was the most amazing concert in my life. What occurs to me is that you are the most amazing listener in your life. Yes. And the concert was just a fact. It was a it was a concert, music was being played. But your ability to listen to it, made it the most amazing concert. You know, a few weeks ago, I went to see a concert with a mantra singer called snat amp now. And she's one of those just beautiful, beautiful mantra singers. And she's actually on the day before she got COVID. So it wasn't sure if this was going to happen or not. But she said that she's she's going to show up. Now something incredible happened on that day, she showed up. But she said that she's actually sick. She didn't say she had COVID She just said she was sick. And she said that she's not going to be able to sing. But all she can do is chat. And she's not gonna be able to chat as loud as she usually can. But what she would like to do is request the help of everyone's here, everyone in the audience, to chat with her. And so together, we can create a concert. And what was amazing was all of a sudden the concert was no longer about an audience and a stage. Everyone became a part of the concert. So a couple of things I got to say that. Firstly is like she showed up like she could have, there was so many reasons for her not to sing like it was hard for her to see she was drinking so much tea, you could tell that it wasn't easy for her. And her body was like, like her voice. She wasn't even able to sing properly. But she just her stage presence, her willingness to show up. Everyone was being there for her. Everyone was being there for the possibility of this being a great concert. Everyone came together, sung together. And it was an outdoor event under a tent. It was a small intimate concert. And I tell you what it was. It was one of the most extraordinary experiences because of that, because of who she was being how she showed up, and how everyone was being there for her. As I love I love that you have made that distinction

is what a great example. I know. Listen, being Fossum. Yeah, yeah.

Wow. Yeah. That's beautiful. So you've been talking about? One of the things I heard you said is are so many miracles. So many miracles have come your way. What is a miracle for you?

Wow. Great question. Well, I know Chris, not only something that is unexpected, but it's also has like, supernatural quality to

super supernatural.

Yes, so that's how I would describe it.

Yeah. And so what I'm hearing in your story is at some point, supernatural events became a normal part of life for you. Yes. And that's carries through and it's still true today. Yes.

And especially in the time of the event in London, so we're just like, so many unexpected things happen that are just really, how shall I say it's everyone just Get like it could look couldn't really make them up or create things. Okay, this is this is just the way it's supposed to be, like, some of the circumstances and the answer is just so astronomically low for things to happen, and they still happened. And these miracles, they were really like, like, signals from the universe for me that I'm on the right path that I'm doing the right thing. And that's what kept me inspired.

Wow, speak. Yeah. So right now, what does it look like? Being on the right path and doing the right thing? What does that mean to you? What does that look like?

Being on the right path and to see this really likes this? See, Slowhand most the universe directs me into the past that I am creating myself,

What did you say this slow hyung this is

like a slow hunt like like when like a hungry like, says uniform? So suppose it's like, yeah, when you get when you get a natural, and it's really like, coming every day. And like in this small whispering was you have to do that. You have to do that. You have to do that. And it's it's really inspiring for me. Wow. What is something that CO relates with what I shared with you, for you, in your life, where you're feeling, inspired and nudged, to do something,

everything everything is is really inspiring. I'll tell you, for me, the nudge happens on Monday I've been. So yeah, I've been coaching for eight years, Andreas, and what happened is, one of the things this book has given me access to is a way to fall in love more deeply, with the possibility of a future. My coaching has been really around helping people get inner peace and well being. And I knew that if you put anyone in front of me like, and I work with someone like that's an outcome that I was really comfortable with, something I would shy away from was more creating an outcome in the physical world. So when people come to me with projects and things they want to create in the physical world, there was inside of me, a part of me that felt out of, well, actually, I was scared, I was like, I was scared to make a promise of a physical outcome, because I didn't understand the power of creation, to support that person to create what they want. Like, I didn't have the confidence to enroll someone into a possibility of a future. That was a tangible outcome in their life. So I was always kind of stuck in the inner peace and well being now it's a beautiful conversation. And it's a, it's, it's, you know, I fell in love with with that way of coaching. And I also kind of fell out of love. And I just felt like there's, there's something more I want to create. And I would see also sort of other coaches that would be able to really create big breakthroughs in what was possible in the physical world. And I always felt a sense of envy. And I always felt like, Oh, I wish I could do that. And so this is how I've shifted my, my work has now been around using inner peace and well being as a foundation to create something tangible, and extraordinary. And the kind of clients that I have created, the kind of people that I get to work with, are so inspiring and dress I have so much love for them. I am such a stand being for them for their creations and for their greatness. And I have never been so excited about coaching, because now coaching is about creating the future. It's not about coaching is no longer about helping people become more resilient with what life throws at them, helping people access more of their well being. Like I it's kind of like that's that's a wonderful conversation. It's just no longer a wonderful conversation that I want to be a part of.

was really exciting.

Yeah. So. So it is. Yeah, that's been that's been just a real shift in, in what's in how I've been how I've shifted my whole coaching practice. And yeah, and I just want to kind of add something to that is, you know, my I often joke and say that my wife lives in slow motion, because she really, really is. So just so she asked us to another pace. And I have to say like having slowed down as she's in her eighth month of pregnancy right now, as we are having this conversation where yeah, she's in. We're expecting our first baby on the 15th of August, and we're in the eighth month of pregnancy. And so before she was slow, and dryers, now she's like, super slow. And what that's created in me is also like a velocity shift, I can also feel my Cobra really, really slowed down in a way that I feel like, I'm actually living more in alignment with the speed of life. And less in the fast lane. And kind of, in this speed of life, everything is slow. But everything is loud and clear.

I get goosebumps.

And there's so much less to do. And there's so much more effectiveness in the doing, like, against done. Keys, and whatever I feel like there's the velocity, and that's one of the main that's, that's cool, like I love to, you know, be inspired and in action and you know, kind of getting really enthusiastic. Sometimes I need to remind myself to slow down again. And you know, there's so much power I've been experiencing, and just in just slowing down and my wife has been such a gift for me, to be honest with you. It's been one of the things that has been the biggest trigger in my life has been dealing with the velocity and my wife. And now it's like the biggest gift. And that, to me, is a miracle. Wow.

It's so great. And I just share so much conscious creation, in what you shared with me that you really create creating was so much personal from your state of be thanks that correct? Yeah,

there's Yeah, I would, I would say that I feel I feel the same is true for you. And I and I feel that this conversation has just reminded me of that. And it has been really helpful for me to also remind myself on the power of slowing down, because I'm noticing on I think on Tuesday, or it's Tuesday today. So a few days ago, I got really busy and was really proud of myself because I went through the day feeling very focused and very, like on top of things and I got a lot of things checked off my to do list. And if you would ask me how I is I can very productive. But what I what I've noticed is the place I was coming from was I need to get this done. So I got everything done. And I was happy to get it done. But it wasn't what was needed. I hadn't slowed down to really be present with what and what's needed now. I just jumped into my day and was like got into action and just got really busy. And you know, when you send an email and you're busy and someone receives it, and they receive it and the energy of busyness, it's almost like you wrap an email. When you press send that email, whatever energy you're in, comes with it. And when I can be really loving enough service and present and I just write the email from that place. Address even if it's exactly the same Same way, it occurs to me that that email will have a different impact on the receiver. So it's very productive, that I am if I'm able to send seven emails in half an hour, and at the same time it occurs to me is very ineffective. If I'm not able to do it from a place of connection, love and presence. And I've never articulated this in this way, and it does sound a little woowoo. And, you know, I'm okay with that. And this is a great reminder, again, a great reminder for myself to Yeah, just to be present, and to do everything with a sense of love and care, and devotion.

We really heard that you slow down, and shouldn't you be in spirit and inspires?

Yeah, yeah. And, you know, sometimes someone that I've been in contact with that. I didn't hear back from him. And I noticed I had judgments about this person not honoring their word, this person not holding to that commitments. And when I was living in that judgment, the way I would have responded would have been disastrous. And I mean, when I say disastrous, it's a bit of a strong word. It's just very ineffective. And, you know, again, when we come back, slow down, can't back into a space of service. What comes up is curiosity gets, like judgment gets replaced by curiosity. And a whole new way of being can be recreated. Any moment. You can always recover. My that says that, that's also something that I've noticed, like, even at the times where I feel like, oh, yeah, I was, I was a little abrupt or, you know, I can always come back. And I can always recover. And I can only start again. And I can always recreate a new possibility, and a new future. And it's never, this idea of you only get one chance to make a first impression. It creates so much pressure, it's like, you get that to make that first impression over and over and over again.

Oh, it's so true, right. And it's one of the things that I've also learned about being how we always create, and how much we create, right? Not only our first impressions, our whole way of being our relationships, our past, present, future, and so on. So amazing. And one of the things that I heard when you were speaking so that when we really slow down, and when we are really connected as what feels right for us, suddenly, we are ready to hear the voice of intuition. And then we create exactly the things that we create,

and sometimes in hear the voice of intuition in the midst of complete noise. Like it's, I would I find that is true. And I don't want to make that a condition. Because I think the voice of intuition is always there. And it is sometimes shows up in the midst of a of an anxiety attack or a panic attack or whatever it can, it can always the possibility of it being there. And that being heard is always there. Yes. So Andreas, I feel like this is just a beautiful place for us to complete our time together today. How do you feel? Yeah,

let's do this. It feels great.

Yeah, it feels it feels. Yeah. Is there anything that you still feel like you would like to share before we complete that as a moment? Is there a word? Not at the moment that at the moment, okay, well, for people that are listening and who would like to be in touch with you or get to know more about you and who you are and, and your way of being and your way of seeing the world and how can they be and how could How could they get in touch with you?

Well, I think one of the best ways would be to join them. Ultimate coach Facebook group and to search their for my name. And then to connect with me in the coach Facebook group. Yes.

And if someone doesn't have Facebook,

somebody does not have Facebook? That's a great question, then you can find me on Instagram. It's Andreas X bureau. That's my username there.

Okay, great. We're gonna put those links in the show notes. So people know how to connect and get in touch with you. And Andreas has been just such a, it's just been really relaxing, but also, like, really insightful. And it has helped me to remind myself about who I was, yeah, who I am being. And also to remind myself, like, I really love that you read the back cover. And you just were with those questions for six weeks. And you know, you've really inspired me to go back to the back of the book and to be with those questions and to, to kind of marinate in those and see what happens. So, yeah, if anyone else is listening and feels like they want to join in that, and I think it's a it's a beautiful invitation. Andreas Buuren, thank you so much for gifting us with your time today and for being here with me in this conversation. I've really enjoyed your presence, your sharings and everything you brought today. It's been wonderful. Thank you so much. And to all the listeners, thank you for tuning in. Thank you for being here with us. And thank you for continuing to to listen into the ultimate coach podcast. Have a beautiful day.