What It Really Means To Go ALL IN - Sanyika

TUCP Intro/Outro: Amy, thank you for tuning in to The Ultimate Coach Podcast, a companion to the transformative book The Ultimate Coach written by Amy Hardison and Alan D Thompson, each conversation is designed to be a powerful wake up call, reminding us of what's possible for you and your life. So if you're on a journey to expand your state of being, this podcast is for you.

Welcome to The Ultimate Coach podcast. My name is Ipek Williamson, and I am so happy to be here once again, because today we have an electrifying guest with us, Sanyika, "The Firestarter" Street. Sanyika is a powerhouse in the realms of personal development and business transformation. As the founder of the all in CEO, he's on a mission to help a million men become better versions of themselves by transforming their businesses and ultimately their lives.

I settled down in my seat and started to chat with the others at my table. All of a sudden, I heard a voice that made everyone stop and turn to the stage. It was such a great tone of voice, and it was you, SANIKA, the fire starter street. You not only have an amazing voice, but also inspiring ideas, thoughts and words to share. And I am so excited to bring you together with our audience. Welcome Sanyika.

I wish I could wake up every morning with that type of an intro. That would be fantastic. Can you do that in front of my kids? Can you do that in front of that? Because I would love for them to be able because they don't care about none of that.

I would happy to. I would be happy to

That's awesome. Thank you so much for that. That was really extraordinary. I'm in full receptivity of that, and it was a pleasure meeting you at the Arizona experience and to be here on the show.

Thank you. Thank you so much. So first of all, I love names and their meanings, and I want to ask the meaning of your Sanyika, and where the Sanyika, the fire starter street name, come from.

So my name is Sanyika, the fire starter Street. Street is my father's family's name. So I am the son of Diane and Eileen Street and the son of William dondell Street. So my mother's maiden name is black, but Street is the family of name my father gave to my mother. Senyaka is the name that my mother gave to me, and Sanyika is a Yoruba Nigerian name. It means leader or gatherer of his people.

Wow, how appropriate.

It is a powerful name. So here's one of the interesting things. A while back, somebody asked me, Are you born a leader, or do you have to become a leader? I said, you know, you can be born on the trajectory to become king, but every even the king has to become a leader. So leader is a becoming. And for sure, I it was a name that I had space to grow up. It's like a big plot of land. It was like, it was like 1000 acres. So I had a lot of space so I could expand and grow into it. It's a name, for sure, that I've grown into, and the fire starter when I was emerging from what I like to call my rock bottom sand, which I stepped into, the path that I really wanted to always step into, which was speaking, I started doing keynote talks to the entrepreneurs community in LA that I was a part of called metal. And as I was doing my keynote. Talks, which I incorporate spoken word. And I was doing my talks, I was approached after one of my keynotes, and by a guy named Will Henschel, who's CEO of a company called focus at will, which they do focus music. It's really brilliant. And he was like, man. He was like, You were great. He said, With my help, I can get you from great to excellent and excellent to transcend. And I was like, well, Sign me up. All right. It's like one of my first coaching calls in 2016 there's somewhere around there, 2016 and so we get in the call, and then he says, he says, So, tell me what you do. I said, Well, I'm a speaker and I'm a you know, I probably said, with that crack in my voice, I was like, I'm a speaker and I'm a you know story to tell her, and I'm a, you know, a coach and all these different things. And he said, No, no, no, no, no. He's like, those are modalities. He said, Tell me what you do. I was like, I have no idea what you're talking about. What do you mean? So I want to call with him. Then it goes back. Two minutes goes by. Three minutes goes by. It's almost five minutes. I'm just there's like dumbfounded, just trying to figure out what what that question actually meant, and not answering, but because I didn't want to get it wrong, by the way.

And then that's something I just realized right now and then about five minutes and I said, I think I started fires in people. And then he goes, Uh oh, so you're a fire starter. I said, Okay. I said, What am I supposed to do? He said, just sit with it for a little while. What's interesting is that I went, I was, I had somebody who was working on a EPK, an electronic press kit for me, like a media kit for the speaker. And so I left will once to this guy, another guy named playing. And then I told Glenn. I said, Glenn, I said, What do you think about me naming myself like the fire starter, or something like that? I didn't even know what, what it was going to be. I didn't I wasn't going to put, I didn't resonate, to put it in my name. I was like, what do you do with it to say I am a fire starter. I was like, how does that work? And so he said, No, no, I don't like the fire starter thing. I think you should talk about your height, you know, because you're 688 and you're, like, a really big guy, and you don't talk a lot about your height. And then I said, I sat with that, and then I came back and I said, not everybody can be six eight. I said, but everybody can be a fire starter. So then that's what I took that on. So that's the origin of the name. Wow, that's a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it with us. And also, I want to go back to the beginning. What is your story? Sanyika, if I'd ask you to give us a snapshot of your life in a few minutes. What would you like to share with us?

I think one of the most important things that people get to know for me is that about me and my life is I'm the baby in the family. I'm the youngest. I'm the youngest of four kids, and I my and the two loudest voices, most prominent voices in my home, were my mother and my sister. My father was not present. I lost my father when I was seven. I said I lost him because he left. So I never got a conclusive reason as to why you let that just know, and that having two very strong women in our home informed the, you know, the the they very much informed the the way that I was, you know, trained and raised as A kid, because it was I was I was informed by that leadership style. And when I left DC, I grew up in Washington, DC. When I left DC, when I was 25 I was engaged at the time, but one of the things that I realized is that my mother is a very powerful woman. I learned how to communicate from her. I take the value of my love of words and language came from her. My love of history came from her. All of those different things came from her. But there was one thing that my mother did not have the ability to teach me, and that is how to be a man. She could teach me how to be a better person, but she couldn't teach me how to be a man, and nor could my sister. They could impart values, but there's a but there's a really important distinction that comes with having a man in your life, or men in your life who train you. Now, my two brothers were on their own journey as well, right? So? And they they were all doing trying to figure things out. And they were, I was younger, the youngest of my oldest brothers are seven, eight. My brothers and my sister are seven, eight and nine years older than me. What essentially happened, though, is that, is that there's a frequency exchange. There's a frequency exchange when a man learns information from another man in a logo you. And that's the distinction. It's not that the information is inherently, completely, radically different. There are some nuances and some things that come but there's a frequency exchange that's missed, and the frequency exchange is a critical necessity to raising and to imparting the groundedness and the and the sort of the gravity that comes with the living into your leadership and really becoming the man that you really want to be. So as I moved from DC to LA, and that's when I went through, like my whole rock bottom sand, which I was, you know, eight years ago. I was, like, 10 years ago down, but yeah, 2015 I was, like, called a rock bottom sandwich because I was already at rock bottom, and then rock bottom smashed on top of me as, like, a Oreo cookie. I'm feeling like, financially broke, emotionally broken, two DUIs girlfriend paying the bills. 40 pounds overweight and definitely not living into the definition of my name without any question. And what essentially happened is I got into for the for the I used to be a guy who lived in my head and boy, boy, oh, boy, did I not know. I thought I could. I thought I could head my way through this life thing. I thought I could head it out. Just this, all neck up, everything, just intellectualized, know it all, all that kind of stuff. And what I was really afraid to do is I was really afraid to live in my body and live in my heart, and really be at a heart led leader, and to step into a greater possibility. So the first thing I did, really was get into community. Community is what transformed me. Broke. Broken nothing community, because the reflection was so powerful and so potent, and the more I leaned into the reflection, even the ability to receive what you said right now in this conversation, at the beginning of this conversation, and at different periods of this now short conversation, my ability to simply receive the information and the feedback that you gave, I did not cultivate that ability until I got into powerful community, and that's where everything really emerged from there.

I so love everything you're saying here, because I know that so many who will listen to this will be inspired and motivated to see that things might not start the way one would want them to start, but it's always possible to Bring it to where you show up, you become and you create, and you are the example of it beautiful. And you know, everything you said so far is, I think, is a good segue toward the all in CEO movement, because I think that has so much to do with what you have discovered throughout this journey. Can you tell us a little bit about the all in CEO movement and what that means to you?

For sure, I will at the point that I was at my rock bottom sandwich and I jumped into covid. Into community. It was, it wasn't just community. It was, it was, it was the willingness to surrender. Some people want to know the magic of what happens when you go into the presence of Steve Hardison, right, and the movement of what it means to go all in is very simple, is to be a man of alignment and to be a man of integrity, all and stands for alignment and integrity. Those are the two aspects of any high performing individual or organization. And, you know, when I stepped into, you know, Steve's presidents for the first time. Like, actually, in the studio, you like, you start looking at the, you know, look at his house. Like, is, you know, Steve has a house, has made a stall and, you know, some wires and stuff. He got a driveway is made of, like, gravel, concrete. He's got doors that are made of, like, metal and wood, right? But people like, look on the other side of it, and they go, like, well, what's the magic? Is it made? Like, is it lace with gold? Is it like with what's the gold in there? You know? Like, what's happening on the outside? Looking in, people looking at Steve, people looking at the coaching work that I do, and they're like, You know what? What's the transformation that's happening? Like, what's Why is it so magical? Like, I can get the information accessible here, like, if I can get the information from there, why is the information coming from the source so different? You know, when you walk into his office or walk into my studio or walk into any other place, what's so transformative about it? And I said, Well, the difference is, first of all, is that right now you're at. Asking from a place of being a know it all, I love you, and you're know it all, I love you, and you're defensive, I love you, and you're trying to disprove everything that you're hearing, as opposed to really being curious about what's possible. That's first All right. The second thing is that when you walk past the gate, or you walk into my studio, or you walk into the environment of a transformative coach. The magic is surrender. You're putting down your sword. You're saying, I give up on trying to do this on my own. I have convinced myself over and over again, that there are things that I do not know, that I am she, that I am supposed to know and to figure out on my own. And that is definitely not the case. It's definitely not the case. The movement for what it means to go all in is to become the best version of yourself and surrender to your own greatness. And here's the thing, you're not surrendering to Steve or to me or anyone else. You're surrendering to God, I'm just guiding the process. And the question is, are you willing to let go? Because your unwillingness to let go is now affecting you may be successful through the world, you may be materially successful, but your wife or your partner is looking to you to level up your leadership, and you haven't taken the time to look within. Your kids are looking at you right now and they're saying, yo, where is my dad. Your kids lost their father, and he's still there. They lost him years ago, but he's still there, right? That's going all in your clients and the people have lost your care. They've lost the ability for they've turned into moving dollar signs or as opposed to the idea of what it means to really create impact. They've lost the essence of you. And so the opportunity to go all in is really about going all in on yourself, realizing that yourself is a vessel that is created by God to do work on this planet, to serve and to impact for the purposes of making the world better. I know that it sounds trite. Of course it is. And you over complicate things because of the fact that you think your purpose is to be this revolutionary character. And the reality is that we're ants and we're damn acorns. Your job is to serve the colony. Your job is to make an oak tree. It's a very simple purpose. You have a very simple purpose on this planet. So your job is to live into it, and the first responsibility that you have is to surrender to a greater possibility that lives within yourself. So the mission is about helping these men step into the greatest version of who they can be, so they can be of their highest degree of service that started with me. It extends without you

Are really showing off your storytelling talent, really by telling us this in such a profound way. Thank you, Sanyika. And this brings me to the question of about storytelling skills, because you exude that, and I would like you to tell us how you integrate storytelling into your coaching, into your speaking, why storytelling is important and creates the connection. How is how does that happen?

So I'm going to be a little crass right now and but I've never seen anybody, uh, masturbate to an encyclopedia. Yeah. And if you've ever been in a presentation where you got somebody going on PowerPoint with a lot of information, nobody's getting turned on. It's not a turn on. There is this overwhelming mission, and I'd say there's a very deep reliance on information. As a matter of fact, for many people that step into coaching, you know, some people go they I was telling this guy I was coaching one day, I said, you know, you know, I feel he was talking about imposter syndrome, and he was saying, you know, I feel like imposter syndrome, I'm not like, I'm not, you know, I don't feel like I know it. Know, Like, What Would everybody else knows when I go into certain rooms, I feel like I'm not the smart one. I said, everything like that. I said, Would you like to know something? He said, Yeah. I said, you don't need to know shit. You don't need to know nothing. You want to be the most interesting person in the room? He said, Yeah. I said, ask questions. Don't know anything. Who said you needed to know anything, you will be more prominent and stand out more by asking questions. Simply, if you're the only person who's asking people about it and then doubling down and tripling down to ask questions, you'll do it. So the idea is that there's this over reliance on the need to inform or to teach, like to give people information and and the thing is that that's not the way that we learn. So given that that's not the way that we learn, we don't learn. We're not inspired inherently by information. We're inspired by the context of the information. And what story does is it paints a picture of the context. Here's the thing is that when the context becomes really more interesting from a storytelling perspective. So why is it so important? The reason why is because when it's a high stakes environment, when the story can tell us, when you can paint a picture of something that's high stakes, it becomes more compelling to listen to. So now all of a sudden, if I take away the idea that I that information is the way that I'm going to transform someone, and then I insert the idea that my job is to be of service, and then I say, to serve that individual the way that they receive information, the most powerfully is through powerful storytelling, through the storytelling. And I'm not the person who invented this, right? There are people who've done significant amounts of research. There's Joseph Campbell and the story of myth. So Joseph Campbell, then has done, essentially created powerful models around the hero's journey. So the hero's journey is a story, is a story trajectory that goes from, you know, from who we are to who we become. And so we've, they've done a significant amount of research on the power of myth and the hero's journey you and you being the hero in this context, or me being the hero in the context. And so the effectiveness in terms of telling stories is that when you tell a story, it lands and it lives in the individual because of the picture that you paint, the contrast and the fact that it's high stakes, right? And so the more high stakes, the the story that you tell, the more contrast you can tell, and and the visual picture that you paint, the more that lives in the individual, right? So the question is is, do you want to leave a mark with the individual that you're looking to reach, or do you want to just give them information to make yourself seem like you know exactly what you're talking about? You know? So storytelling has been a really important tool for me to learn, to learn, really, how to be of the greatest service. And I use storytelling in every aspect. I use I create characters from the individuals that I work with. We create avatars of the individuals that I work with about about who they their ideal individual, and the essence of who they really want to be, and then that becomes the aspirational version of themselves. And so then that individual, I get to use that story throughout our coaching relationship, so that we can actually use it as a reference point. Like, for instance, I get an example, like with one individual. He's a he loves basketball, he loves Michael Jordan. So we model everything in his, in our relationship, like he was Michael Jordan. I started asking him. I said, you know, Michael Jordan's going up against the Detroit Pistons, you know, in this 1989 and he hasn't won his first championship, and Michael Jordan's going up, he's getting the elbow to the face, and he's going to be put on the floor, right? Question is, is, do you want to be the guy who gets put on the floor, or do you want to be him the next year. That summer, he trained. He got stronger. He said, I'm not gonna be they're not gonna put me on the floor. Next year. I'm gonna win a championship. And he was in the gym every day, and I said, what's happened is that, I said, You've been domesticated my brother right now, you're craving artificial light and air conditioning over the gym and over nutrition and over affecting, you know, really focusing on where it is that you really want to be so said, you know. So do you want to be Michael Jordan going for his championship the next year? Or do you want to be domesticated guy who basically settles for artificial light and, you know, everything like that. So that's just a recent conversation I had yesterday. So, you know. But storytelling is a really important component, for sure, absolutely,

Absolutely and in your experience, I'm curious about it. What are some common challenges that you see men facing when trying to go all in, trying to get there? What are the main, main challenges you notice?

So the first one is charisma. One of the first things that we learn as children is how to manipulate and charisma is a really powerful tool. And so what are the things I witness? Is a witness guy has with a lot of charisma and a lot of charm, who can get themselves in and out of any situation, and they can navigate with everything. And that's nice to be a guy who avoided pain, avoided transformation, simply through charisma. And so what the charisma looks like in an environment is a guy who uses his words to get out of situations, but the reality is that he's lying to himself and to the people around him. You know, he's not, he's not a band of integrity. He doesn't he's not reliable. He's inconsistent, right? And so that lack of reliability, that lack of lack of consistency, the lack of emotional groundedness is affecting his most important relationships. So not only the important effect is most important relationships. It's like, you know, many guys, when they the majority of women who file for divorce or who say that they're getting 70, they're the ones who initiate it, and the guys usually caught blindsided. He's like, Oh, you know, I'm like, I didn't even see it coming. Like, I hear you. I hear you. And the reason that you didn't see it coming is because you weren't looking right. You had a plant in your home, and you made the assumption that all it needed was, like, and I'm telling you that that that plant I needed more than like that plant needed food. It needed water, it needed talking to. It needed you to touch the leaves, right? It needed to touch the leaves for you, for you tried to dig into the soil. It needed all those things, and it needed you to take the seeds that came from that plant, and need you to put them in separate pots, and need you to treat them individually as well. They need you to nurture them. I was like, but I was too busy. I didn't have too much time. I was trying to give, you know, I was trying to do all this other stuff. I said, Look, you know, the for one of the first things I do when I start working with individuals is I have them sign this document called becoming the CEO of my life. And one of the first commitments is a commitment to radical responsibility. And where radical responsibility is the is the is that I am the creator of my experience of this planet. I am caused in the matter of my experience. And so as we were talking about radical responsibility, and I was explaining to them about the plants, and I said, Look. I said, I understand that you may feel overwhelmed by the fact that you have, like a big plant, and you got like little smaller plants that you tended to. And I said, here's the thing about radical responsibility. Radical responsibility is different than regular responsibility. Everyone's got regular responsibility, otherwise known as obligations, things I got to do. Do you want to live an extraordinary life? If you want to live an extraordinary I mean, you don't have to live an extraordinary life. There's tons of people who do not live an extraordinary life. But if you want to live an extraordinary life, your responsibility needs to be radical. It's got to be the it's got to be bigger than everything else. You can't just settle for the fact and be like, well, I know I got a couple plants that I needed to take care of. Imma. Just hope that the sunlight like that. What you're doing is you're expanding emotion, your emotional capacity, to be able to facilitate the growth of the plants in your care. They are your plants. It is your responsibility to nurture the plants, because you chose the radical responsibility, not regular responsibility, like the obligation to do it. Everyone's got regular responsibility, obligation, complaint, everything else like that. Like, I'm gonna show up in this way, because this is the man that I choose to be. I'm going to nurture plants, because this is the man that I choose to be. I'm going to make sure the little plants get their own pots and they get treated individually, whether I got one, two or seven. And I'm going to treat them individually, because that's the play. And I'm not going to bitch, moan and complain when I gotta pay for stuff like the food and the water and the things that need to go into the plant so the plants can grow. I'm going to create structures and parameters that are going to facilitate it, and I'm going to operate with the philosophy that's going to be supportive, and I'm going to be the man that actually is able to raise these plants and this other and this main plant and these smaller plants into becoming a greater like a well facilitated. I call it a garden. And there's a phrase that says, I'd rather be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war. And we need more gardeners. We need more warriors hard lead warriors that are willing to garden and tend to the plants.

Wow. This is deep. Thank you. Tiny guides, beautiful and now I want to ask you about one thing that I am so excited and very supportive of, which is the N word campaign that you started. That started like, like a dream, like a magical thing, and I would love you to tell us how it all started and where is it now,

Gentle as a I operate on five pillars, faith, fitness, family, fulfillment and finances. So faith, my belief in God, my belief in myself. Fitness, honoring the temple, inside and out. Family, deep, loving connection and relationship with all of my stakeholders, from the closest to the furthest out fulfillment, my emotional well being and living into my purpose and finances, my relationship with money. It's talking about fulfillment, right? So one of the things I realized is that in my path as a business owner, that I've been given a gift by God to channel and to tell powerful stories and and the specific modality that I use is, is music and spoken word. I use rap too, but I would say music, spoken word and rap, um, but it's really spoken word storytelling and so what I do is I, when I do my keynotes, I incorporate spoken word into those keynotes with music, and that's one of the ways that, that's the way that we got introduced to each other, is through a presence of Arizona by doing that. So here's essentially what happened, is I realized that I wasn't channeling that really tap into my gift. I wasn't tapping into the deepest essence of my gift, which is my calling, right? I was, you know, working in my business, making money, doing that kind of thing, but I wasn't really tapping into my gift and and what really happened up back is that I I was getting a call from God, but I wasn't answering the phone. Every guy gets the call from God, but he doesn't. Not everybody answers the phone. And why would you answer the phone? Of the phone the call is coming from that no number, so it's like, 10 calls in a row. You're like, what's going on? I answer the phone. I get a mission, you know? Like, who is this? And it's like, well, I'm gonna give you an assignment, like, what's the assignment you're telling me? Like, I got this thing I need to do. I have to honor this thing. And I was like, What's the thing I need to do? And and then the phone just hangs up. The assignment that I received was that I had to to release and to impact people with a spoken word piece that I wrote called the N word. In fact, this is, this is a, this is really powerful for me, because it felt like a complete deviation from what I was doing, like a complete left it was like, you're building this business. You were working with these men. You're doing this thing. Why would you go and do this thing? And I'm like, Look, I'm doing it because I got called to do it, and I'm fighting it and I'm kicking and screaming like it was not an easy lift. So here's how I initially initiated, like began. The first thing is that it started with an interaction I had with a black friend of mine in 2019 and I posted something on Facebook, and then he responded, and we use the N word, and I G, G, a nigga used it like two or three times in the comment. And I said to myself, like, Damn dude, this is really extreme. Like, wow, you know, like, I didn't like the fact that he used it period. So I reached out to him on on Instagram, because he was more active on Instagram. And I said, Look, man, I was like, I'm not going to delete your comment, but I'd like you to take it down. And you know, because it doesn't really vibe with the man that I really like, it isn't it's not a good representation of me, and I don't think it's a good representation of you. And I said to that young man that you're trying to convince that he's a king. I said he keeps getting confused because you keep calling him a nigga. So he was like, done anything else, he just took it down. And the point he took it down, I said, Oh, man, I've been complicit by just using it to use it. And that's what happens. Many people think that the nigger that that word, and I'm going to say it, nigga is a black thing, like it's just a word that black people use. But one of the biggest misconceptions about that word is that black people just people that use it in public. We just own the marketing on the word. We don't own the word. Black people own the word. It's just the marketing of it. And what I mean by the marketing is that the marketing is that the marketing is black people are the only people that can use the word Well, I mean, look, you know, the I used to have roaches as a kid, they said, for every Roach you see in public, this, 1000s of them behind the walls, for every person, black person used to use that word in public. This, 1000s of non black kids using it in private. So I get. Calls from, you know. So there's a lot of people, you know, when I put the N word out for white families, who talk about how their kids are using it, and the impact that has on their kids, and that it's in their house, because they hear it in music and comedy and film and stuff like that, like it's all over the place, like roaches, right? So the idea is that I had that interaction with him in 2019, I responded to that interaction by writing this book, a word piece called the N word. And then I just sort of like, sat on it because I wasn't really sure what to do. I shared it with a few of my black friends and my black friends, but just like, I don't really know what's gonna do anything because, like, it's not, you know, like, a big deal, or, you know, it's not a big thing. And then I had the interaction. Then earlier this year, I met you up in Arizona. And then after Arizona, I got invited by Steve Hardison to we had a we had a really powerful interaction in Arizona, by the way, on the last day of the event, when I was rehearsing during the in the in the morning, doing my sound check after I finished going through the rehearsal of you, because he was the only person I ended up being in the room. I ended up basically performing for Steve alone while I was doing the sound check after the performance, Steve came up, and then he kissed me on my feet, and he said, You're the most amazing speaker I've ever heard in my life. And I'm still just, I'm trying to figure out why, what just happened? Like, you just kiss my feet. Like, what was I had shoes on? But I was like, what's going on? So after that, we just connected, gave each other a hug, and then, you know, I drove back to LA then that was on Saturday. On Monday, I get a call from Steve on Facebook, and Steve was telling me that he invited him. He said, um, do you live in Arizona? I said, No, live in Arizona. He said, If you did, I want, I want you to come to the Grand Canyon with us. I said, why? He said, Well, I have a client named Sachin who is his last session. It's coming out, and he wants to go to the Grand Canyon. And I said, Oh, well, you know what, I can't make it to the Grand Canyon. I was like, because, you know, I'm, you know, I'm busy, you know, I got things to do, right? So after I hang up with Steve, Sachin calls me, like, 30 seconds later. So Sachin is like, I have an invite for you. I'm like, what you have an invite for me? He said, Yeah. I was like, yeah. I was like, What do you mean the invite? And he said, you don't wish to come to Grand Canyon with us. And I was like, What is going on? I was like, Why is everybody calling me on Facebook? I was like, when did when did this start happening? So he calls me, and I right after Steve, and I said, Let me think about it. And after we after I thought about that, I went to my wife and I said, Baby said, you know, it's got a call from Steve and from Sachin about going to the Grand Canyon, I said, and she said, Are you thinking about going? I said, I said, Uh, no, I'm not really sure. She said, maybe. She said, You wouldn't have brought it to me if you weren't thinking about going. So I'm like, All right, and I said, You know what? I said, I'm gonna go. I'm the CEO of my business, and what I'll do is I'll make some moves. I'll, you know, get somebody to take over my spot on my mastermind I'll, you know, ask to request and move some client calls. And that's exactly what I did. And then I'm back out all my way over here to Arizona. I go to Arizona short story. We have a great day at the Grand Canyon. Go to Steve's house, you know, with casi and sacha. So it's kasuti, who's black, Sachin, who's Indian from London, Cass from Chicago, and then Steve, you know, and we're in Steve's car. And, you know, the we read the butterfly effect. On the way up, we drive up to to the Grand Canyon. Had a great day walk, you know, walked around, had breakfast, read the butterfly effect. Walk the Grand Canyon. As we were walking the Grand Canyon, there was this rock this, I'm talking about a rock big, bigger than my hand, that came barreling down, and then I felt the dwiz in front of my face. It was on the walk up. It actually went past a couple that was a little bit ahead of us, because they saw it too. If that rock hit me, I wouldn't be here. Wow, if that rock hit me out, but there is no way I'd be here right now. Inches, inches, magical, right? So magical. So then we go up, we have dinner, and then I drive back, all the way back from the Grand Canyon. As we're driving back, we're just talking about all types of things in the front, Steve is in the front with me, I'm driving. And then we start playing Freddie Mercury and Prince, and as they're playing Freddie Mercury and Prince, we're putting CDs. And then I'm like, Steve, I'm like, why you got CDs in here? Like, where did they come from? You know, sort of playing Freddie Mercury Prince and talking about music, and in the back then talking about hip hop. And then Sachin goes to everybody. He says, anyway. He says, I got a question. He says, How do you feel? A. About black people using the N word. And I was like, did he just ask that question? I was like, yeah, he was asked that question. He did it. Nobody in the car knows that I have a fully formed opinion about this,

Right? This is 20. Is earlier this year? It's 2024. Is this five years ago? When I originally wrote it, I said, You know what, I'm not gonna respond to this question. I'm just gonna perform the piece when it when it comes to my turn. So I So, I said, you know, I'm way till kasuti goes. Because, because kasuti is black, and he was gonna speak to it first. I was like, let us speak to it first. So kasuti goes. SANIKA, what do you think at that point, I said, I just went my brothers. Before I get into any discussion, I'm taking a second to let you know that I love you. You are Earth's original peoples capable of anything in your reflection, the essence of a king. That's why, in this moment, I am still conflicted, self restricted from using a single word because of the pain it's inflicted. This word is a virus bubbling up inside us, a word that we reverse, but in reverse is where it guides us, and I guess that's what surprises me. So I'm triggered when a brother who loves his brother's calling his brother a nigga. He called your brother a nigga. He called your brother a nigga. Would you call your mother a nigga? Nah, I didn't figure. And the fact that you won't use it, but the woman gave you birth is what makes the explanation that is harm this even worse. If it's such a loving term, black people have accepted, why won't you use the term with the woman you respected? I mean a lot of places, or maybe something I'm forgetting, but I've never seen it. You was at a wedding as lock hold their hands with your significant other. Would you say the N word to inspire your baby's mother? Tell your daughter you love her, tell your grandmother and grandfather, this is the freedom of yours they fought for it's fine, because we say it all the time. They call this niggas while picking cotton, you bought your cotton picking mine, and best believe, I used to use it. I said it with ease. My second thought, dog, I abused it. I had a disease. I told brothers that we should lose it. Brothers disagreed. They said it's a term of endearment. They'd be like, nigga please. So I'm calling my brothers niggas, not calling my niggas brothers. Hold up. Why is the only time we niggas with each other, Brother to brother. Are you afraid others to judge you with when you see me instead of nigga, you just said, I love you. And it's a complicated history, from movies music to comedy, black entertainers said the word with love and affection, but it's become a mystery through movies, music and comedy, other races abuse turn black wounds into an infection, and we fight for the right to say, but we're not fighting for a future that determines if it's really right to say. Who am I to say it now? Who am I to bring it up? Who's this nigga asking you niggas to give it up? I am one of your brothers. Is the reason I'm invited. I am a man who speaks the truth, even if you don't like it. I am where the transformation happens in faeries is the first step is the awareness. There's no benefit to say it school acceptance. We go from It's Okay to this outrageous because they call brothers niggas for they lock them up in cages. They call black fathers niggas so they can't make better wages. So I'm only using words that bridge a brother to his greatness. My camera was broken, but now I get the picture. There's a much bigger audience using the word nigga. So when I say brothers, it's brothers of all persuasions. My brothers, black and Latino, Caucasian and Asian, in every city and state, every country and continent. The N word is a problem all over the place, and words like nigga live in all genders, racism, religions, the words you may feel is freedom for someone else's a prison. So what I'm trying to teach you is a lesson I was given the words that you choose, words you abuse, the words that you use create the world that you should live in. Nigga means ignorant. It doesn't make us better. Men can't put it at the end of your name to go practice medicine. Doesn't make you richer, healthier or blacker. It does not improve the chances of making black lives matter. And if Black Lives Matter, my niggas, here's what I'm asking. Why would I call you nigger when your righteous name is black man, originals, brothers, sophisticated or gutter. I am only using words that will show my brothers I love you, and the love runs so deep, I am willing to take the stand for the brothers that will sit and try to make me the villain. I'm the tattoo remover here to get it off your chest. It'll sting a little bit, brothers, this is my request. I am asking you to rethink your words. Not calling you out. I am calling you forward words. Stop using the word nigga and what to call your brother, other than the N word. There's only one thing, if that man is really your brother. Only thing that you should call him is a king.

Yes, wow. Oh my god. I so love this. I so love this. And, you know, all my life, I always I. Wondered, why? Why to use this word like if I don't want to hear it from white people, I don't, why would I also want to hear it from black people? Because our words create our reality, as you said, then let's call each other king and you, you make a really great point. If you don't use a word for your most loved people, then what does it tell you that it means that it's it's not the right word, it's not a good word.

So this is the thing that I realized. It's become a word of connection. It's become a word of validation. It means I'm one of you for black people belonging so it means I'm one of you. So I was having a conversation with a Latino client, and he runs a big business, and he uses it with his sons. They're not black. So when I showed him the piece, he started crying, because he's like, Oh yeah, you know, you use it with my sons, because they use it. And so we're having a conversation about leadership, and literally in a client session. And the thing, and the, you know, the thing about is that Steve starts sending, you know, after that piece in the car, Steve sent it out to like, 500 people, you know, and he was using it in client sessions. He was using it as a representation of possibility. And so he was, you know, using it to speak directly into people for the purposes of, you know, of really helping them to see a new possibility in terms of who they could be and and as he was talking to other people about the person the word I was as well. So I emerged from that car realizing that that word that we use to create belonging is actually doing creating an adverse effect. So the piece, I basically left that car with a commitment to create the piece in less than a month. I created the piece in less than a month. I was going to release it at the end of February. Steve said, Don't release it at the end of February. I said, Why not to release it the end of February? He said, Because I got somebody who wants to be a part of it that's going to help it to get even bigger. I said, Who was this person? He said, Iyanla. I was like, Yo, is going to do what? And so then all of a sudden, that's when we got in contact, and then she and then we ended up deciding to release it on Juneteenth, and so we released it on June 19, which is Juneteenth, which is a significant day in black history, because that's the technically that the last day that the last slaves were informed slavery was over in Galveston, Texas, so the so that's the very big federal holiday. So we released a piece on that day, and at this point, the video has gotten over half a million views, and a lot of you know, and a significant amount of positive feedback from black people who listen, black people, black men use the word, and a significant amount of black men and black women are like, Yo, I'm so glad you said this, because I've been feeling like this my whole life, and they've been like, I really, really just want this thing to be removed. Yeah. And so, so we released the video, and then phase two of this is an in person activation where we actually premiered the video in a really powerful way, with some invited guests, including some young people that really create a conversation around it. So that's where we're in the process of building right now is is launching, which is phase two, and that's going to happen around September, October, time frame, along with the release of more storytelling that emerges as well. So this is a commitment to for me, to use art to inspire leadership, like I work in the space of leadership. My intention is to inspire, you know, men, to become the best version of themselves and so, and to take on tough topics, including stuff like this. And so it's like, you look, if I can take on tough topics, then you can have a conversation with your wife about about why your relationship is not necessarily working. You know, you can have a conversation with your kids about the the space that lives in between you. My intention is to be a representation of possibility by tackling the world's toughest conversation so that we can really inspire each other to really step into who we wanted to be. If I can tackle a tough conversation, you can tackle a 4:55am wake up and get to the gym and get you and get yourself moving.

So I think that was a topic that many people was were wondering about and thinking the same way, but you brought it up in a such a in such a beautiful way that you. And you came from a very easy to understand point of perspective, that it literally exploded because, because that's truth, that's right. Everything you're saying is correct. So I cannot think of anyone to disagree with everything you're saying, and I so love and and you answered my question even before I asked it, because I was going to ask about Ian lavanzant and how she became involved in this, but you said a little bit about that, but if you have anything to add about her and her involvement, I would like to hear that too. And I'm sure everyone listening would be interested too.

Well, Yana has been her and her team have been fantastic, like they've been really, really great. So shout out to IANA, to miss IA, to zakiyah and to darvell. They've been really exceptional. Yeah, on the decided to distribute the video on her platform. So the the bulk and the majority of the views occurred on her platform, platforms, all of her social media platforms. I was number one, number two. The piece ended up being, I mean, all of the feedback and everything from her team has been extraordinary, and they've been really excited about just what it's created, and they're excited about participating and partnering in terms of creating more work together. So so they're, they're partners in this, and the intention is for IANA to not only just distribute the platform, distribute the video on a platform, but also to facilitate the in person conversations that we have, so for her to physically be present, so that we can have that as a component of this. So that's one of the next phases of this is really like bringing that forward. And my intention through this is to again, use art to really be a powerful tool to communicate things that don't impact one of the things about this conversation is that it's a very easy conversation to understand intellectually in terms from like from a sense standpoint, black intellectuals have argued this conversation for as long as I've been a kid. They've talked about like this. But every time it's approached from an intellectual perspective, it misses people, because the people who feel disenfranchised don't connect with the intellectuals. So for instance, it's like, almost like, you know, it's like, you know, having somebody from, from Harvard, you know, talking about, like, the Bloods and the Crips, and it's like, you know, like a gang or something like that. Like it doesn't, it doesn't necessarily land, because some of the people who was looking to intend it to who, the people who you use it, or who leverage it, it misses them. So this conversation needs to be approached from individuals to really understand it on a visceral level, and who are grounded in the in sort of like the experience of culture and music. So that's the intention, is bringing forward people who are power players in music and entertainment and comedy, and really like having those people present in that conversation, so that they can be a representation of possibility beautiful. And that's helping them to bring some of those people together,

Beautiful and we are thankful for her involvement in this. So now this brings us to the question that I ask everyone, all my guests. So it is about the questions that Steve Hardison mentions in the back of the book or front before we begin part of the book, what I want to ask you is, which one of all those deep questions is the one you feel like you need to focus On at this moment in time in your life,

You know, the first one that popped in my head was, Who do I need to be to be more loving? That's the first thing that, as soon as you said it, that just popped in my head. And, you know, powerful listening, being present, being open and available, not being like attached to my expectations or outcomes. Grateful I truly grateful in the moment for what's occurring right now, for what is grateful for what it is like, grateful for your smile, grateful for this conversation, grateful for grateful for the opportunity to retell the story of the the N word. Grateful for the opportunity to tell the story of what it really means to step into into your name. You know, that's been a really powerful gift. And I'm grateful for the opportunity to expand in in every direction as a result of of exploring who I need to be to be more loving.

Beautiful. Thank you. And Sanyika, I want to ask you also three rapid fire questions we are getting to the fun part of the podcast, and I would like you to answer with a couple of words or a sentence maybe. So the first thing is, what is one thing you cannot live without?

First day, I thought it was my wife, of course,

Of course. Well, let's leave the people outside, but a thing like that you use every day or you love, because it's obvious, right? It's your family, right?

One thing that I could not live without is, oh, like lifting weights. Weight lifting I love lifting weights. It's a it's it does a lot for me. Yeah, lifting weights can't live without it.

Okay, okay, that's it. And the second question is, what is one word that best describes you

Intentional

Oh, I love that. I love it. Thank you. And the third and last one, what is one piece of advice you would give to your younger self.

Don't resist the challenge. Choose it.

This is a beautiful quote that I want to just write it down and share with the world, with everyone. So beautiful, so true. Sanyika, it has been an absolute pleasure having you on the podcast with me and your insights. Passion and dedication to transforming lives are truly, truly inspiring. So thank you so much for sharing your journey and the incredible work you're doing with the all in CEO with the N word campaign for our listeners who want to learn more and connect with you. Where can they find you online?

You can find me on Facebook, Sanyika the fire starter street. You can find me on Instagram, at the all in CEO and and you can find me in, yeah, on the website, the the all in ceo.com as well. And I'm reachable.

Yes, you are. And to our listeners, thank you for tuning in to the ultimate coach podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, please share it with your friends and leave us a review. Remember, transformation starts from within, and as Sanyika has shown us, when you go all in, the possibilities are limitless until next time, keep striving for greatness and embrace your journey. And Sanyika once again, thank you a million times. Have a lovely day.

Thank you for having me and thank you for listening.

TUCP Intro/Outro: Thank you for joining us today. If there's someone you know who could benefit from this conversation, please share this episode with them. Also check out our website, being movement.com, you'll find valuable resources and links to connect to an engaging and wonderfully supportive community. Together, we can inspire and support each other on the path to a greater understanding of being until next time, take care and be kind to yourself. You.