Achieving Happiness by going Within

Kalee Boisvert: 00:00:15

Welcome to the wealth and wellness podcast with

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me Kaylie Bob air. I specialize in helping people to achieve

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their financial goals. I have a love for all things numbers, and

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I'm passionate about financial literacy. My goal is to spark

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healthy and positive conversations around wealth and

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investment and create a world where nobody is limited by their

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financial situation. But wealth is just one piece of the

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equation of living our best lives. So join me as we explore

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both wealth and wellness topics. From your net worth to your self

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worth. Get ready to take confident action. Hello, this is

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Kaylee buav. Err and thank you so much for tuning into this

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episode of the wealth and wellness podcast. I have a

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wonderful guest joining us today. I think it's so timely to

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this conversation with a lot going on in the world right now.

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So joining us today is happiness expert Kathy Donovan, who is

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also a celebrated author, speaker, coach and broadcaster.

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She is the former co host and CO producer of CTVs. CTV Ottawa is

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regional contact. She's a regular guest guest expert on

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the subject of happiness for city TV city line. She's the

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author of two self published books, inspiration and action, a

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woman's guide to happiness, and unconformity. Harnessing the

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radical power of courage, Kathy's work is a call to action

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to unlearn what we know to be true to stretch what's possible

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so that we can see our true potential and live a beautiful

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life of our own design. I love that. Thank you so much. It's

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good to have a happiness expert, we need some happiness, Taffy.

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So can you tell me maybe a little bit more me in the

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viewers or listeners a little bit more about what brought you

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to do this work you're doing today?

Unknown: 00:02:15

Sure, Kelly, thank you so much to for having me. I

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really admire what you're doing with your podcast as a

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compliment to your business. You know, we women need soft places

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to land, we need community we need like minded people. And so

Unknown: 00:02:29

let me tell you a little about happiness, how happiness evolved

Unknown: 00:02:33

for me this way. Because we are conditioned, I say conned into

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thinking that happiness comes from outside of us. IE, you

Unknown: 00:02:42

know, I'll be happy when I lose 10 pounds, I'll be happy when I

Unknown: 00:02:45

get the right partner, I'll be happy when I finally buy my

Unknown: 00:02:48

house or get a new job or whatever it is outside of us.

Unknown: 00:02:52

And when we look at happiness, this way, we will chase it for

Unknown: 00:02:56

ever. It really is an inside job. And so I learned by reading

Unknown: 00:03:04

a lot of the same authors and books that you've looked at, I

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became very fascinated by the law of attraction, that

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secondary universal law that talks about what we think about

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and focus on will expand in our lives. I read the book, The

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Secret, I saw the movie The Secret way back in the day when

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it first came out. And I was really like, wowed by the idea

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of it. But I understood as I investigated a little bit more

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that it was kind of incomplete. And then I saw a Canadian author

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by the name of I've forgotten his name right now. But he wrote

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a book called the law of attraction. And I went to see

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him speak when it came to Ottawa. And he talked about the

Unknown: 00:03:44

law of attraction. And his point was that we humans are really

Unknown: 00:03:49

good at coming up with the list of things we want. We're just

Unknown: 00:03:52

not always available to receive what it is we say we want. And

Unknown: 00:03:57

I'll forgive that. I don't think many of us know really what we

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want. I think we know what we don't want. And we're very

Unknown: 00:04:04

comfortable complaining about it. But we have to get clarity

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about what it is we really want in life. And Law of Attraction

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really works on energy and vibration, and that's your

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feelings. So it isn't about things and stuff. It's about the

Unknown: 00:04:18

inside of you. What do you want to feel? So I want to feel

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abundance beauty, joy, love, peace, prosperity and wellness.

Unknown: 00:04:28

And I've learned that I have to focus my thoughts and my energy

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on those things if I want them to come into my life, so I make

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myself available to receive those things by focusing on

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thoughts and hanging out with people and taking opportunities

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that align with what it is I want. So over the course of you

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know finding out about this law of attraction learning about how

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our thoughts are so powerful Mike Dooley talks about you

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know, your thoughts, produce things your thoughts create

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things in your life. So you've got to be very careful of what

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you're choosing. I started a development group, and over two

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years, I would bring in different ideas to the group

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every month. The first one was gratitude. And we talk about

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these ideas. And then we'd all go away and have a little

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homework to work on over the month and come back. And we

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talked about another idea. Until I achieved eight principles that

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I felt were the solid foundation for my first book. And really,

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they define my life. Now I live by those principles. And it's

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things like gratitude, courage, surrendering the stories that

Unknown: 00:05:36

don't serve us. Well, you know, our lives today, the stories

Unknown: 00:05:39

from our past, talking about kindness and compassion,

Unknown: 00:05:42

forgiveness, and having healthy boundaries. Those are some of

Unknown: 00:05:45

the ideas I've talked about that when we put them together,

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really like a Lego set kind of creates this vibe of happiness,

Unknown: 00:05:54

which is very different from the happiness we've been conditioned

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or conned to think we're supposed to have. So it isn't

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outside of us. It's all within us. And you know, I heard that

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for many years, but I didn't really understand it. Now, I'm

Unknown: 00:06:07

very clear that I'm responsible for my happiness, just like you

Unknown: 00:06:11

are. Yeah,

Kalee Boisvert: 00:06:12

I love that. And I love you sent me your books to

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read and they're fabulous. And so I do, yeah, really appreciate

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the work you're doing and what you're putting out there, I

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highly recommend people take a look at those. Can you elaborate

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them a little bit more on that, then like you said, we are

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always looking for it outside of ourselves. And I think that is

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such a common theme, I'll be happy when when I get that job.

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When I get the raise. In my line of business. It's when I have

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you know that much money and I my wealth goals are achieved. So

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how do we like? How do we maybe block out the noise? Or how can

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we, you know, the outside influences the comparison? I'm

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assuming that's where some of those influences are coming from

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when we're talking about I'll be happy when? And how do we really

Kalee Boisvert: 00:06:57

go into that it's an inside job?

Kathie Donovan: 00:07:00

Yeah, it's a good question. I don't know if

Kathie Donovan: 00:07:02

you've heard of the book, my Stroke of Insight. It's a book

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written by a neuroscientist, and she talks about the stroke that

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she had, when her right brain, her skirt, sorry, her left brain

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function shut down. And in the left brain is all of the details

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of life. It's where the files are with respect to you know,

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our bank account, or what day we're born, what side of the

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road, we should drive on, all the things our address, you

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know, our name, your name, all that information is stored in

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the left brain. And when that stopped functioning, she said, I

Kathie Donovan: 00:07:40

was Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor is the author's name, by the way. And

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it's a brilliant book, very simple to read. She said I was

Kathie Donovan: 00:07:47

left in my right mind. And in the right brain is just that

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pure in the moment notice, it's just that right now, if I was to

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stop talking, and we felt that silence, that's what's going on

Kathie Donovan: 00:08:00

in the right brain, it's just pure nothing. It's where we go.

Kathie Donovan: 00:08:04

And we're deeply engrossed in creative process processes, like

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when you're working on numbers could feel creative for you,

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when somebody is doing a painting or writing something

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they're in their right brain, they're in the moment in the

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flow, they call it in the left brain is where our ego is. And

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the ego is part of that, you know, it's a, we need an ego, we

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need the function of our left brain, we need all of these good

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things to be operating. But our ego is always hungry for fuel.

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And the ego wants one of three things, it wants to be right. It

Kathie Donovan: 00:08:37

wants to feel special, or it wants to be miserable. So we can

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notice when we're starting to get that way, that that's where

Kathie Donovan: 00:08:45

we're operating from. And what Dr. Taylor says is, ideally,

Kathie Donovan: 00:08:49

what we want to do is manage the function of the left brain and

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spend more time in the right brain in our in the moment. And

Kathie Donovan: 00:09:00

so, you know, we've been conditioned I say conned a lot,

Kathie Donovan: 00:09:03

because I think we've been conditioned to think some things

Kathie Donovan: 00:09:06

that are just not true. And we need to bust through some myths

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to get to how we can be more present for ourselves, how we

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can actually love ourselves more, so that we can be

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receptive to things that we didn't know we could receive

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before. Because, you know, there's also a lot of limiting

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thoughts that we're conditioned to have, you know, nobody in our

Kathie Donovan: 00:09:28

family ever went to university, who do you think you are? You're

Kathie Donovan: 00:09:31

never going to make a success of that business. Why would you

Kathie Donovan: 00:09:34

even try? You mean, there's such a thing as a happiness expert.

Kathie Donovan: 00:09:37

All of these things are things I've heard. And if I believed

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those things, I would be paralyzed in my life. And I feel

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many of us are because we've listened to outside voices. We

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know the truth inside of us. And yet we're afraid to bring that

Kathie Donovan: 00:09:53

truth out. Because we're afraid to be judged. We're afraid to

Kathie Donovan: 00:09:57

fail. We're afraid to succeed. We're afraid to be To stand out,

Kathie Donovan: 00:10:01

we're afraid to be too tall, we're afraid to, you know, to be

Kathie Donovan: 00:10:04

a show off, really, we have, every one of us has some

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beautiful gift or 10. to unwrap and share in the world, every

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single one of us. And it isn't necessarily just about those

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simple goals of, you know, finding a life partner making a

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certain amount of money and getting to a point in your

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career. Those are not necessarily the right goals to

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focus on their goals, and they're there, they're

Kathie Donovan: 00:10:28

worthwhile, but they're not everything, finding a way to

Kathie Donovan: 00:10:31

feel good within you about you, is everything. And when you can

Kathie Donovan: 00:10:36

start to focus on that process. And it begins with one simple

Kathie Donovan: 00:10:41

idea. And that is gratitude. Gratitude has become cliche, we

Kathie Donovan: 00:10:47

don't even really notice it so much anymore, because we talked

Kathie Donovan: 00:10:51

about it so much, it became kind of moot. But it is the most

Kathie Donovan: 00:10:56

important quality for you to focus on, if what you want is to

Kathie Donovan: 00:11:00

attract more abundance into your life. And when I say abundance,

Kathie Donovan: 00:11:04

I don't just mean money, I mean, opportunity, friendship,

Kathie Donovan: 00:11:07

relationship, you know, surprise, there's this wonderful

Kathie Donovan: 00:11:11

thing happening for you today, because you learned to

Kathie Donovan: 00:11:14

appreciate what you already had. And here it is, if you have

Kathie Donovan: 00:11:18

breath, kill, you have a lot to be grateful for. So we begin

Kathie Donovan: 00:11:22

there. And that's where really this whole process starts, is by

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adjusting our mindset from the chasing after everything, to

Kathie Donovan: 00:11:32

really appreciating everything you already have, which allows

Kathie Donovan: 00:11:36

you to send out that energy of abundance, and makes you more

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attractive to abundance, it makes you a match for what it is

Kathie Donovan: 00:11:44

you really want. And then we have to step into courage to ask

Kathie Donovan: 00:11:49

ourselves what I was saying earlier, what do I really want?

Kathie Donovan: 00:11:53

And then when you know where to want, it becomes a lot easier to

Kathie Donovan: 00:11:57

say yes to opportunities that are aligned with that, and no to

Kathie Donovan: 00:12:01

things that are not.

Kalee Boisvert: 00:12:02

Yeah. And you had an activity in your book

Kalee Boisvert: 00:12:05

where you said, because you said oftentimes, you know, we don't

Kalee Boisvert: 00:12:07

even know what we want. But you're right that we do know

Kalee Boisvert: 00:12:10

what we don't want. So the activity in your book was write

Kalee Boisvert: 00:12:13

down all the things you don't want. And then that should

Kalee Boisvert: 00:12:17

prompt thinking about, Okay, what do I do What because it's

Kalee Boisvert: 00:12:20

probably the alternative of that, which I think is a good

Kalee Boisvert: 00:12:24

way to get people thinking on that.

Unknown: 00:12:27

Sure. And and it's such a challenge for us. Because it

Unknown: 00:12:31

comes so naturally to say, you know, I don't want to be low, I

Unknown: 00:12:35

don't want because it's about feeling right. So the statement

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has to be about feeling. So if you were to say I don't want to

Unknown: 00:12:41

feel lonely. And that's been a common challenge for people,

Unknown: 00:12:44

especially during the pandemic, right, we've been isolated from

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one another. I don't want to feel lonely. If you don't want

Unknown: 00:12:51

to feel lonely. What do you want, I want to feel connected.

Unknown: 00:12:57

So if you want to feel connected, what's one baby step

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you could take that would help you to feel more connected.

Unknown: 00:13:04

Because everybody makes it okay for us to complain, it's a

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phenomenon. But to, to really focus on what we want and

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support one another getting it is not so easy. So we have to

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work on the inside of ourselves in those conditions, thoughts

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and beliefs. We've all been given and try to adjust them. So

Unknown: 00:13:24

we're more, I'm going to use the word positive, we're more

Unknown: 00:13:27

positive in how we speak to ourselves, and how we speak

Unknown: 00:13:30

about ourselves. Yes,

Kalee Boisvert: 00:13:33

I love that. So that's a good exercise for

Kalee Boisvert: 00:13:35

people to try. So is that what you would suggest like you're

Kalee Boisvert: 00:13:39

saying, Let's spend more time in the right brain. So one of the

Kalee Boisvert: 00:13:42

things is gratitude. And again, in your book you write down, you

Kalee Boisvert: 00:13:45

write that, you know, one practice is writing down five

Kalee Boisvert: 00:13:48

things a day that you're grateful for. And again, it's

Kalee Boisvert: 00:13:50

really if you're struggling to find it's very easy to just say

Kalee Boisvert: 00:13:53

I'm grateful for being able to you know, my lungs for being

Kalee Boisvert: 00:13:56

able to breathe for your food for being able to have you know,

Kalee Boisvert: 00:14:00

a roof over my head like these, these very basic things that

Kalee Boisvert: 00:14:04

we're we're given that we absolutely need to be grateful

Kalee Boisvert: 00:14:06

for. And then that might prompt you kind of thinking even more

Kalee Boisvert: 00:14:10

into that. But so that's a good one, the courage, anything else

Kalee Boisvert: 00:14:13

for staying in the right brain that we can make sure that we're

Kalee Boisvert: 00:14:16

engaging in?

Unknown: 00:14:17

Well, it's not so much about staying in the right

Unknown: 00:14:20

brain, it's about managing the left brain because the left

Unknown: 00:14:24

brain is the squirrely place where we're always reminded of

Unknown: 00:14:27

how we're not enough and how we haven't done enough and how you

Unknown: 00:14:29

haven't achieved enough. That's the That's the message. The

Unknown: 00:14:32

right brain is is just perfect. The right way is just oh, so if

Unknown: 00:14:35

you meditate, you spend time in your right brain. When you're

Unknown: 00:14:38

painting when you're doing creative things. You're in the

Unknown: 00:14:40

right brain that's wonderful. spend more of your time doing

Unknown: 00:14:43

those things, to nurture yourself and then managing the

Unknown: 00:14:47

left. So the left is that voice that's always searching for fuel

Unknown: 00:14:51

wants to be right wants to feel special wants to be miserable or

Unknown: 00:14:54

not wants to but enjoys being miserable. And so we have to

Unknown: 00:14:58

override The tendencies of the ego and say, I'm going to take

Unknown: 00:15:03

charge here, because the only thing, Kaylee, this was a

Unknown: 00:15:07

shocker to me when I learned that the only thing we have

Unknown: 00:15:10

control over in life are the thoughts. We choose to think. We

Unknown: 00:15:14

have no control over anything else, there's a great illusion

Unknown: 00:15:18

that we have control over other people we do not. And we exhaust

Unknown: 00:15:22

ourselves, especially as women, we exhaust ourselves, trying to

Unknown: 00:15:25

make the world the way we think it should work, and trying to

Unknown: 00:15:28

make people do the things we think they should do for their

Unknown: 00:15:30

own good. Well, it doesn't matter, everybody's got their

Unknown: 00:15:33

own journey, you've got your journey, I've got mine, and I

Unknown: 00:15:36

can't take anything off your journey, it would be insulting

Unknown: 00:15:39

to your personal growth. Why would I want to take that away

Unknown: 00:15:43

from you, that's your lesson to get. So yeah, we need to begin

Unknown: 00:15:48

and find ways to, you know, reshape our thought processes

Unknown: 00:15:52

and how we're going to think about life. And gratitude is

Unknown: 00:15:55

that bottom line. So when you start to develop that practice,

Unknown: 00:15:58

I say write five things a day. And if you're having a bad day,

Unknown: 00:16:01

write 10 things. And then the more you do it, the easier it

Unknown: 00:16:04

will be it's hard at first, because we're used to taking

Unknown: 00:16:07

everything right now for granted. And looking forward for

Unknown: 00:16:10

what we're going to get next. So we need to really shift that

Unknown: 00:16:13

out. But a key piece to is really looking at how we can

Unknown: 00:16:17

surrender the stories that we tell ourselves. And those are

Unknown: 00:16:21

those conditioned thoughts and beliefs. We all have the stories

Unknown: 00:16:24

we tell ourselves about ourselves that are no longer

Unknown: 00:16:26

true about ourselves today, because who you were when you

Unknown: 00:16:30

were 18. And doing whatever you did, it's not who you are today.

Unknown: 00:16:34

And so those stories kind of, you know, we tend to pile them

Unknown: 00:16:37

up. And then we think those make those stories make us who we

Unknown: 00:16:41

are. But who we are, is not that at all, who we are is perfect

Unknown: 00:16:47

and beautiful. Every one of us is a spiritual being having a

Unknown: 00:16:52

human experience. That's who we are. And those stories are they

Unknown: 00:16:57

were true, then you did that thing for sure. But you don't

Unknown: 00:16:59

need to drag it with you through the rest of your life. And I

Unknown: 00:17:03

encourage some of my coach clients, if they're having

Unknown: 00:17:05

trouble surrendering the stories, see a therapist, find

Unknown: 00:17:09

some way to offload those things and look at how you can forgive

Unknown: 00:17:13

yourself or forgive somebody else. You know, and that is

Unknown: 00:17:16

another principle I talk about forgiveness is very important.

Unknown: 00:17:20

Because we forgive for us, not for anybody else. So that we can

Unknown: 00:17:25

be free to be happy, to feel good to live the life that we're

Unknown: 00:17:29

really meant to live without holding anger, bitterness and

Unknown: 00:17:32

resentment. Because I think it was Buddha who said or he's

Unknown: 00:17:35

credited was saying that holding on to anger, bitterness, and

Unknown: 00:17:39

resentment is like taking poison every day expecting the other

Unknown: 00:17:42

guy to die. It doesn't work. You only harm yourself. So this is a

Unknown: 00:17:48

very important part of this process of tapping into what I

Unknown: 00:17:52

call true happiness.

Kalee Boisvert: 00:17:54

Yeah. And when I think of it, too, when I think

Kalee Boisvert: 00:17:56

of those, like forgiving for ourselves, it's just, it's a

Kalee Boisvert: 00:17:59

heaviness to like being angry, being stressed and harboring

Kalee Boisvert: 00:18:03

what feelings like that maybe towards other people. It's

Kalee Boisvert: 00:18:06

almost it's like a heaviness. It's like it's a lot to carry.

Kalee Boisvert: 00:18:09

It is like literally like baggage on you where it's just

Kalee Boisvert: 00:18:12

like when you release it when you let it go, there is a

Kalee Boisvert: 00:18:15

lightness that you feel to that.

Unknown: 00:18:17

Yeah. And it isn't that the thing didn't happen. It

Unknown: 00:18:20

isn't that the person didn't, whatever you think whatever you

Unknown: 00:18:23

think happened. It's just about freeing yourself from that. And

Unknown: 00:18:27

you know, doing it for you. So the intention is doing it for

Unknown: 00:18:31

you, as opposed to doing it to let somebody off the hook.

Unknown: 00:18:34

Because that's what we get snagged we think, Well, I'm

Unknown: 00:18:36

gonna let them off the hook if I forgive them. You haven't

Unknown: 00:18:39

changed the reality of what happened. You've just chosen to

Unknown: 00:18:43

live a beautiful life and you don't need to carry that stuff

Unknown: 00:18:45

with you. And you're quite right. It feels like luggage

Unknown: 00:18:48

like a heavy backpack.

Kalee Boisvert: 00:18:49

Yeah, yeah. And just focusing your like you said

Kalee Boisvert: 00:18:52

on what we can control what we do have control over. When then

Kalee Boisvert: 00:18:56

comes to remodelling our thoughts? What would you suggest

Kalee Boisvert: 00:18:59

for people for that or like, like, because I feel like it's

Kalee Boisvert: 00:19:03

so automatic and you're right, like it can be based on

Kalee Boisvert: 00:19:06

childhood experiences or how we've grown up and it's still

Kalee Boisvert: 00:19:09

kind of then programmed almost in our thoughts just go right to

Kalee Boisvert: 00:19:13

where they may be, typically have in the past. So how can we

Kalee Boisvert: 00:19:17

really be more empowered when it comes to our own thoughts?

Unknown: 00:19:21

Couple of things there, I would say, brings me to the

Unknown: 00:19:24

principle of kindness and compassion. You know, we are

Unknown: 00:19:29

conditioned I say conned into being thinking that we need to

Unknown: 00:19:33

be kind and compassionate toward other people. That's what I

Unknown: 00:19:35

learned when I was growing up. But really, it begins with us.

Unknown: 00:19:40

We forget that we are the most important person in our lives.

Unknown: 00:19:45

We are the most you are the most in person in your life. And if

Unknown: 00:19:50

you can't be kind towards yourself, what's that saying? So

Unknown: 00:19:54

learning to give yourself grace, when you're tired when you're

Unknown: 00:19:59

when you feel low, find a way to give yourself some grace about

Unknown: 00:20:04

that and let it go. If you don't get it right every time, there's

Unknown: 00:20:07

no such thing in my world as a mistake, I don't believe in

Unknown: 00:20:10

mistakes. I used to work in mainstream TV. And we did a lot

Unknown: 00:20:14

of recording of our introductions for the stories we

Unknown: 00:20:17

did. We didn't use a script. So we did four or five, maybe 10

Unknown: 00:20:21

takes of the same thing, until we got it the way we wanted it.

Unknown: 00:20:25

That's what a mistake is, you didn't get it the way you wanted

Unknown: 00:20:28

it. So do it again, and get do it until you get it the way you

Unknown: 00:20:31

want it. So when when we, when we start to reshape these ideas

Unknown: 00:20:36

we hold about, you know, on so afraid to try it, because what

Unknown: 00:20:39

if I fail? Well, if you don't get it the way you want to try

Unknown: 00:20:42

it again, or, or do something else, learn from what's

Unknown: 00:20:46

happening, instead of just shaming yourself for not getting

Unknown: 00:20:49

it, quote, unquote, getting it right the first time, that's not

Unknown: 00:20:52

possible, most of us don't get it right. You know, there's no

Unknown: 00:20:55

such thing as overnight success. That's another thing. It takes

Unknown: 00:20:59

patience, and resilience and grit. And you know, you know,

Unknown: 00:21:02

commitment, and you know, a lot of support to create a business

Unknown: 00:21:07

like the one you've created in the one I've created, it didn't

Unknown: 00:21:09

happen overnight. I've been at this for 10 years doing it and

Unknown: 00:21:13

20 years, you know, 10 Before that, preparing for it. So you

Unknown: 00:21:17

know, this is the thing, we need to ease up a little bit on

Unknown: 00:21:19

ourselves and be kind and compassionate. And, and also to

Unknown: 00:21:24

recognize that nobody, like N OB ody has it all together.

Unknown: 00:21:31

Nobody's got it all together, we are all just beautiful works in

Unknown: 00:21:35

progress. And we're learning as we go. And the more we learn,

Unknown: 00:21:39

the more we grow, Maya Angelou said, when we know better, we do

Unknown: 00:21:42

better. So that's what our job is just to keep learning and

Unknown: 00:21:46

growing and being kind and compassionate. And pushing

Unknown: 00:21:51

ourselves forward that way, instead of pushing ourselves in

Unknown: 00:21:54

that aggressive energy, it's compassion is soft. And that's

Unknown: 00:21:59

what we women are made of, we're compassionate, we're

Unknown: 00:22:02

collaborators. We're not meant to be competitors. That's why I

Unknown: 00:22:06

feel you know, you've created such a beautiful space for

Unknown: 00:22:09

people. And the same with my business. Because women

Unknown: 00:22:12

recognize the lack of competition, they want to feel

Unknown: 00:22:16

safe, they want to feel heard and valued and appreciated. And

Unknown: 00:22:20

that's what makes it happen. Those ideas.

Kalee Boisvert: 00:22:22

Beautiful. I love that. And though how we're

Kalee Boisvert: 00:22:25

all just beautiful works in progress. I love that. Love it.

Kalee Boisvert: 00:22:30

What about, you know, in times like now, where there's a lot

Kalee Boisvert: 00:22:33

going on in the world? And it's hard maybe when we're seeing

Kalee Boisvert: 00:22:37

that when we're reading about it? Maybe it's hard to feel

Kalee Boisvert: 00:22:42

happy? What can you suggest for people when it is there's a lot

Kalee Boisvert: 00:22:46

of stress and crisis going on? outside of ourselves and around

Kalee Boisvert: 00:22:51

us?

Unknown: 00:22:52

Yeah, to the question. And it's come up so much in the

Unknown: 00:22:56

last little while, because so many of us are feeling

Unknown: 00:23:00

overwhelmed by the chaos in the world on so many levels. And

Unknown: 00:23:06

here's what I tell people, Look, if you're safe, and you have

Unknown: 00:23:13

what you need. Your job is to be the light. When we buy into the

Unknown: 00:23:20

chaos, when we watch too much news, for example, we get

Unknown: 00:23:24

overwhelmed. We fall into victimhood. And we become a

Unknown: 00:23:29

victim of the chaos. We lose our power. So as I said before, the

Unknown: 00:23:35

only thing we have control over the thoughts we choose to think

Unknown: 00:23:38

so I say to people give your head a shake your okay? Do

Unknown: 00:23:44

something to make your world that are in the little corner

Unknown: 00:23:48

that you're in. Be kind to people. If you feel you want to

Unknown: 00:23:52

collect money for a good cause, do that. If you want to make

Unknown: 00:23:56

cookies for your friends, do that. Do what you can get on the

Unknown: 00:24:01

phone call somebody you haven't talked to in a while. Write a

Unknown: 00:24:03

little thank you note to somebody you admire. Do

Unknown: 00:24:06

something every day to make you feel your power. That's your

Unknown: 00:24:10

true power. We feel powerlessness when we look

Unknown: 00:24:14

outside of ourselves and see chaos. And remember, news is

Unknown: 00:24:17

counting on us feeling fearful. So we'll come back to find

Unknown: 00:24:20

comfort which we never do. We just get overwhelmed. It's

Unknown: 00:24:23

important by the way to stay informed. I'm not I am I do my

Unknown: 00:24:27

best to stay informed. But I don't indulge. I don't allow

Unknown: 00:24:30

myself to get caught up in the drama and the chaos because

Unknown: 00:24:34

that's not helping anybody. I also am a big supporter. I

Unknown: 00:24:37

recommend meditation to every one of my coach clients. I

Unknown: 00:24:41

believe in the power of meditation I meditate just about

Unknown: 00:24:44

every day, even if it's only 10 minutes, whatever, whatever it

Unknown: 00:24:48

can be for you. It can be 10 seconds at your desk, watching

Unknown: 00:24:52

your breath in and out. Nice slow inhales and exhales that's

Unknown: 00:24:56

meditating. It can be walking and focusing on nature. That's

Unknown: 00:25:00

meditating. But getting away from the nuttiness of this

Unknown: 00:25:05

overload of information that we've all been subjected to, and

Unknown: 00:25:09

many of us think we have to stay with, I know people who have

Unknown: 00:25:12

their radio on all day long, and then they're tuning into the

Unknown: 00:25:15

news, and then they're putting their radio back on. I'm like,

Unknown: 00:25:17

Dude, you are going to be in a puddle on the floor? I can't

Unknown: 00:25:21

help you at that point. You know, because you've given up

Unknown: 00:25:24

control, you've given up control of the thoughts you choose to

Unknown: 00:25:28

think.

Kalee Boisvert: 00:25:29

Yeah, yeah. And it's our we have our devices and

Kalee Boisvert: 00:25:31

our phones are in our hands. And we can so easily just what's

Kalee Boisvert: 00:25:34

going on now, it's now and so I love that just what our power in

Kalee Boisvert: 00:25:39

what we can do and those ideas you gave that is actually very

Kalee Boisvert: 00:25:42

empowering to think about what we can do in our, in our areas

Kalee Boisvert: 00:25:46

in our community, that is going to make a positive impact. I

Kalee Boisvert: 00:25:51

love this conversation and all this. But I guess for sake of

Kalee Boisvert: 00:25:54

time, you know, I could talk about this all day, and you've

Kalee Boisvert: 00:25:58

given so much great information. But I guess just for people, you

Kalee Boisvert: 00:26:01

know, wanting to know more and kind of continue on these

Kalee Boisvert: 00:26:05

thoughts. What is the best way for them to reach out? I'm

Kalee Boisvert: 00:26:10

assuming, you know, your books are probably one thing for

Kalee Boisvert: 00:26:12

people to consider that they can get those? Is it online that

Kalee Boisvert: 00:26:15

they can purchase those or

Unknown: 00:26:17

they can go to Amazon, the books are on Amazon, anybody

Unknown: 00:26:21

can connect with me at Kathy donovan.com I have a newsletter

Unknown: 00:26:24

that I send out with little tidbits of you know, hopefully

Unknown: 00:26:28

comfort and support. And I'm on Instagram and Facebook and you

Unknown: 00:26:32

know, I do my best you know, as I said, Kaylee, I like to

Unknown: 00:26:35

encourage people to be the light when it's dark. Like that's what

Unknown: 00:26:38

I try to do is post helpful, you know, help you to reframe your

Unknown: 00:26:44

thoughts so you can stay grounded in your life instead of

Unknown: 00:26:47

feeling unmoored all the time. It's so easy to become

Unknown: 00:26:50

ungrounded and unmoored. So through any social media through

Unknown: 00:26:54

my website, Amazon has books.

Kalee Boisvert: 00:26:58

Yeah, absolutely. I was I was saying

Kalee Boisvert: 00:27:00

that before we started that I was reading your book, and it

Kalee Boisvert: 00:27:02

just felt it was uplifting, it felt good to read it. So I

Kalee Boisvert: 00:27:06

highly recommend that people go take a look. So the books were

Kalee Boisvert: 00:27:09

inspiration and action, a woman's guide to happiness, and

Kalee Boisvert: 00:27:12

then also unconfirmed, harnessing the radical power of

Kalee Boisvert: 00:27:16

courage. And I saw in your bio, you're also working on another

Kalee Boisvert: 00:27:19

book for directed at younger people.

Unknown: 00:27:22

Yeah, I'm working on I'm actually working with a

Unknown: 00:27:24

teacher right now on helping kids, young girls in grade six.

Unknown: 00:27:29

It's called The Little Book of affirmations for kids of all

Unknown: 00:27:31

ages. And it's intended for girls at that age, but also

Unknown: 00:27:35

their parents and grandparents and anybody who's in the room

Unknown: 00:27:37

when they're looking at it. Because we can all use

Unknown: 00:27:40

affirmations, I use my affirmations every single day to

Unknown: 00:27:42

remind me of the truth of who I really am.

Kalee Boisvert: 00:27:46

I love it. That's, that's exciting. I think

Kalee Boisvert: 00:27:48

that's so needed. I have a young daughter. So that's exciting,

Kalee Boisvert: 00:27:52

because you think back to yourself. And that is, that is a

Kalee Boisvert: 00:27:54

stressful time for girls that age. So I love the work you're

Kalee Boisvert: 00:27:58

doing. Thank you so much, Kathy, for being here. I'll make sure

Kalee Boisvert: 00:28:01

to include that all in the show notes too for so people know

Kalee Boisvert: 00:28:04

where to contact you and reach out if they want to chat

Kalee Boisvert: 00:28:06

further. Again, thank you so much. I think this is so timely

Kalee Boisvert: 00:28:10

for what we're going what we're going through right now and so

Kalee Boisvert: 00:28:13

many great suggestions for people to be in that happiness

Kalee Boisvert: 00:28:16

to embrace that that happiness within ourselves.

Unknown: 00:28:21

Right, Kelly, I really appreciate you thank you for

Unknown: 00:28:23

having me as a guest.

Kalee Boisvert: 00:28:24

Thank you so much. And thank you everyone for

Kalee Boisvert: 00:28:27

tuning into this episode. And I will catch you on next week's

Kalee Boisvert: 00:28:30

episode. Bye for now.

Kalee Boisvert: 00:28:38

I hope you found value in this episode. And because I'm such a

Kalee Boisvert: 00:28:42

proponent of taking confident action, I want to pose a

Kalee Boisvert: 00:28:45

question to you the listener. What is one action that you feel

Kalee Boisvert: 00:28:50

inspired to take after listening to today's episode? If you enjoy

Kalee Boisvert: 00:28:54

listening, please subscribe and share with your friends and

Kalee Boisvert: 00:28:57

family. Thank you so much and I will catch you next time