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Robert Moment was born in Virginia and basically has spent his entire life there except for college which took him to Maryland. Robert received a degree in Business and, after college, he went to work in corporate America. He worked for a number of large corporations including Xerox in the 1990s. He tells us some of his experiences in the corporate world and how they eventually caused him to shift gears and start his own coaching and consulting business. Today he is a recognized authority and he has authored several books. His newest one coming out shortly is "Believe in Yourself You Got This". What I like about talking with Robert is his down to earth direct manner of presenting ideas. As he says fairly early in our discussion, his parents taught he and his brother to believe in themselves. Robert discusses with us this concept of self belief and how it differs from ego. As he says, his father taught him that “ego” stands for “edging God out”. Pretty clever. Robert gives us a number of practical tips and lots of advice we can put to use in our daily lives. I hope you will like what Robert Moment has to say. About the Guest: As a sought-after authority in leadership development, Robert Moment draws upon a wealth of Fortune 500 experience and certified coaching expertise to unlock the extraordinary in leaders and organizations. 1. Leadership Development Authority: Robert Moment is a leading authority in executive coaching and leadership development. Leveraging over 15 years of experience and deep insights from Fortune 500 environments, he empowers individuals and organizations to reach new heights. As an ICF Certified Executive, Leadership, Emotional Intelligence, Career, and Peak Performance Coach, his expertise spans diverse leadership domains. 2. Startup Success Catalyst: Robert holds unique expertise in nurturing cybersecurity, healthcare, fintech, and critical infrastructure startups, guiding them through scaling challenges to achieve revenue growth. His tailored approach fosters sustainable success for these firms within competitive markets. 3. Peak Performance and Emotional Intelligence Focus: Specializing in peak performance coaching, Robert works with CEOs, executives, and high performers, empowering them to lead empathetically with high emotional intelligence. This creates collaborative and thriving work environments. As a certified practitioner, he utilizes the Social + Emotional Intelligence Profile-Self (SEIP) ® Assessment to facilitate targeted development plans. 4. Author and Comprehensive Coaching Methodology: Robert's books, including "CEO Coaching for Cybersecurity Growth" and "Believe in Yourself You Got This," offer practical strategies for professional growth. His comprehensive coaching methodology uniquely blends experience with modern assessment tools for results-driven, transformative experiences. 5. Executive Development and Career Coaching: Robert collaborates with executives and rising leaders to refine leadership skills and drive organizational success. He assists individuals at various career stages through fulfilling transitions. By identifying strengths, clarifying goals, and aligning values, he ensures informed decisions for long-term career satisfaction. If you're ready to unlock your potential, achieve peak performance, and create the leadership legacy you envision, Robert Moment is the coach to guide you there. Ways to connect with Robert: Robert@LeadershipCoachingandDevelopment.com The Moment Leadership Coaching Group 2200 Wilson Blvd. Suite 102, #158 Arlington, VA 22201 LinkedIn https"//www.linkedin.com/in/robertmomentleadershipcoach About the Host: Michael Hingson is a New York Times best-selling author, international lecturer, and Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe. Michael, blind since birth, survived the 9/11 attacks with the help of his guide dog Roselle. This story is the subject of his best-selling book, Thunder Dog. Michael gives over 100 presentations around the world each year speaking to influential groups such as Exxon Mobile, AT&T, Federal Express, Scripps College, Rutgers University, Children’s Hospital, and the American Red Cross just to name a few. He is Ambassador for the National Braille Literacy Campaign for the National Federation of the Blind and also serves as Ambassador for the American Humane Association’s 2012 Hero Dog Awards. https://michaelhingson.com https://www.facebook.com/michael.hingson.author.speaker/ https://twitter.com/mhingson https://www.youtube.com/user/mhingson https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelhingson/ accessiBe Links https://accessibe.com/ https://www.youtube.com/c/accessiBe https://www.linkedin.com/company/accessibe/mycompany/ https://www.facebook.com/accessibe/ Thanks for listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can subscribe in your favorite podcast app. You can also support our podcast through our tip jar https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/unstoppable-mindset . Leave us an Apple Podcasts review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts. Transcription Notes: Michael Hingson ** 00:00 Access Cast and accessiBe Initiative presents Unstoppable Mindset. The podcast where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. Hi, I'm Michael Hingson, Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe and the author of the number one New York Times bestselling book, Thunder dog, the story of a blind man, his guide dog and the triumph of trust. Thanks for joining me on my podcast as we explore our own blinding fears of inclusion unacceptance and our resistance to change. We will discover the idea that no matter the situation, or the people we encounter, our own fears, and prejudices often are our strongest barriers to moving forward. The unstoppable mindset podcast is sponsored by accessiBe, that's a c c e s s i capital B e. Visit www.accessibe.com to learn how you can make your website accessible for persons with disabilities. And to help make the internet fully inclusive by the year 2025. Glad you dropped by we're happy to meet you and to have you here with us. Michael Hingson ** 01:20 Well, hello to you all, wherever you happen to be, I am your host, Michael Hingson, and this is unstoppable mindset. We're really glad that you joined us today. Our guest is Robert moment, and Robert is a sought after authority and leadership development he's written a number of books. He's a coach, and all sorts of other kinds of things. Talking to coaches are is always really kind of fun. I learn a lot. I got all this free coaching. What can I say? It's It's always interesting and relevant to hear different points of view and get to put everything in perspective. So I'm really glad to have the opportunity this time to talk to Robert, and he does a lot of leadership development, and interested in getting into that and talking about him as well. So enough of that, Robert, welcome to unstoppable mindset. We're really glad you're here. Robert Moment ** 02:15 Well, thank you, Michael for the opportunity. I'm excited. Michael Hingson ** 02:20 Well, we're really looking forward to talking with you and learning a lot. I hope Tell me a little bit about the early Robert, kind of growing up. And let's start with that just kind of where you came from and all that stuff. Well, Robert Moment ** 02:33 the early Robert, I grew up about 30 minutes outside of Charlottesville, Virginia, and I graduated, really, I would say I'm a country boy at heart humble beginnings. And my father, he was ex military, and one of the things he taught my brother and I, I'm two years younger than my brother, was self disciplined, and to always believe in yourself. That's something that my parents ingrained in us, you know, early on, and that's something, you know, it's like, it's in my DNA, and that's what I communicate to my clients. And even when I was in corporate America, I was in corporate America for over 20 years working for Fortune 500 companies, like your Xeroxes of the world, Citigroup, manpower. And then then I transitioned into leadership and executive Michael Hingson ** 03:21 coaching. So where did you go to college? I Robert Moment ** 03:24 went to college. Now it's called Washington at Venice University. It's about, I would say, 20 minutes outside of Washington, DC, in a place called Takoma Park, Maryland. And my degree is in business administration. But Michael Hingson ** 03:39 you're mostly stuck in a rut, aren't you? You've lived in Virginia basically all your life. Robert Moment ** 03:43 Yes, I have now. I've traveled globally, but yes, my, my my home base is, yes, Virginia. Now Michael Hingson ** 03:52 I have to tell all of you listening that before we started this, Robert was saying that he loves the spring and summer and is not a winter person. So I'm not quite sure I totally understand the paradox, but there you are. But no, it's it's fine. You could be further north in Massachusetts and Maine and New Hampshire, and get a whole lot more snow than you get in Virginia. You Robert Moment ** 04:16 know what, Michael, when I see when I watch TV, whether it's, you know the weather channel, or CNN, and I see the snow in Boston, upstate New York and Rochester and Syracuse. I am glad I'm in Northern Virginia. Michael Hingson ** 04:31 Boy, it was interesting, if you remember from the Weather Channel, last year here out in Southern California, we had crazy, crazy weather in Mammoth and some of the areas around here, they had, you know, overall, more than, like, 50 feet of snow, and it eventually went away. But we had incredible amounts of snow in Tehachapi and Wrightwood, the snow was so high that a. Cover the roofs, and some roofs collapsed because they couldn't take all of the snow, and the roads were blocked so people couldn't get in and out, which also made it very interesting. And we here in Victorville, were down in a little valley. We're about 20 850 feet above sea level. We had two or three inches of snow one Saturday afternoon, and that Robert Moment ** 05:23 was it. Wow, I did see that. I saw that. And I said, you know, I couldn't believe it. Yeah, it was, it was dangerous, treacherous. Yeah, it really paralyzed a lot of people, because they couldn't leave the house, homes. Michael Hingson ** 05:38 Yeah, they couldn't at all. And the the thing is, like mammoth, I think it was mammoth didn't even close their ski season until last August. Well, this year, it's different. They're closing Sunday. Still, it's a while. Well, it is, it is, yes, so you said you worked for a lot of corporations for quite a while. So you started that, I assume, right out of college, because you had the business background, and what did you do for them? Robert Moment ** 06:07 Well, I was like, for instance, corporate executive, sales, business development, account manager, a lot of titles, but I learned a lot, especially back then, like Xerox Corporation, you went through a lot of training, yeah, and that training that really, I was able to leverage it and, you know, transfer to other corporations. And one of the things I learned, it really wasn't so much that when I transferred to other organizations, because that was in telecommunications. I was in insurance. Manpower is more about human development. It was really about building people skills. Yeah, people skills, and then business acumen, because you can learn the products and the services, but to be able to build relationships. That was really my, one of my strongest suits. Michael Hingson ** 07:04 Well, Xerox information systems, back a long time ago, in part, began because they acquired a company. I worked for Kurzweil Computer Products. So I I was sort of assimilated into Xerox, because I worked for Kurzweil, and then Xerox bought Kurzweil. They wanted the technology, though, they didn't really have as much interest in the people as demonstrated by the fact that within a couple of years, all the salespeople who worked for Kurzweil pre Xerox takeover were all invited to leave. And you know those those things happen, and I think it's a serious mistake when companies do that, because they lose all the tribal knowledge and all the information and the background that people have. And like you talk about the fact that you learned so much about people skills and interpersonal dynamics as you went along. And I think the companies really lose a lot of that when they buy a company and they assimilate it, and then they get rid of the people, Robert Moment ** 08:10 you know, I'm glad you wanted you touched on that, because I'm working with a potential client and they want to buy the smaller cybersecurity startup. And when you do that, a lot of times, you know, you gotta look at the culture, and when you mention that, they let people go, you know, a lot of times good people who've been there, whether it's, you know, five years, 10 years, you know, that's a lot of intellectual property that's walking out the door, and a lot of times, for instance, they know that customer is better than the person who's acquiring them. Why do companies do that? You know, sometimes you know they want to cut costs, but cutting costs sometimes is not good business sense, because usually the company who takes over is the one who's going to let the existing employees go in, right? Because they want to bring down people. But when I want to talk to the CEO, you know, if he becomes they become a client. That's something I want to warn and caution, caution him, you know, don't go into, oh, I want to clean house and want to bring all of my people in, because this company does have some major business with several major hospitals, and you know, that's relationship building. And that relationship building took years for them to when I say years, maybe about, I think they said five or six years. So, yeah, go ahead. So that's important. You know that relationship, the existing company has that relationship, and I told him, I would tell him, you want to make a smooth transition. Michael Hingson ** 09:57 Well, and the reality is, it's. Some point, you can bring your own people in, but you're going to have to hire people to replace the people you you move and other things. At some point, it would make a lot of sense to really evaluate people and their skills and look at what they bring to the company before you just let them go. I was the last sales guy to be let go from Kurzweil and I had been relocated, actually, in late 1981 from Boston. Well, I lived in Winthrop and we worked in Cambridge. Then I was relocated back out to California because I knew that area better and and it was pre Xerox takeover, but the discussions had begun. But in 19 late, 1983 into 1984 was clear that Xerox had had taken the company, and some people were leaving. I was the last of the sales guys to be let go. I don't know whether that had to do with blindness or whether I was just so far remote because I was cross country, but they did it nevertheless. And I think that they made a serious mistake by losing, if you will, so many people, it just isn't a bright idea to do. Robert Moment ** 11:25 You know, it isn't, because even when I was there, Michael Xerox was losing a lot of market share. Yeah, yeah. When I was there, they was losing when I went, when were you there? I was there like in in 1992 and they was losing a lot of market share to, Michael Hingson ** 11:46 it's canon, yeah, and IBM. Robert Moment ** 11:49 IBM, yes, they was losing a lot of market share. And, you know, they got became complacent. Yeah, Michael Hingson ** 11:58 they did and and didn't, and probably never really had a clue about why they were losing so much market share. But nevertheless, it happened, yeah, Robert Moment ** 12:08 I mean, Xerox was, I mean, in terms of, I mean, too top heavy, in terms of, I mean, it seems like every quarter they was hiring people, but in terms of market share, yeah, they was losing market share. And then a company called OSE came in Rico, the Japanese, the Xerox almost went under, yeah, yeah, yeah. I Michael Hingson ** 12:37 one of the reasons I was asked to relocate to California. And like I said, they just started the discussions, but because I had spent time on and lived on the west coast for most of my life, the other thing they wanted me to do was to interface with the more technical parts of Xerox. Namely, they had a facility called Park Palo Alto area Research Center. Yes, I wonder if that's still there. Do you know? Yeah, I don't know. You know, yeah, I don't either. But I, I did a lot of work to integrate some of the information from Kurzweil into Park, which is part of what I did. And it was, it was fun. Got to meet a lot of and know a lot of the people there, and I would have thought that they would have been a little bit smarter about how they how they dealt with me, but and other people, but it, you know, it goes the way that it goes. I hear it a lot in the broadcast industry. Somebody comes in and they buy a radio station or a television station, and they phase out all the people who are already working there, which is so crazy. Robert Moment ** 13:46 Yeah, it, yeah, I've heard that. I've heard that too, and I've actually here, I can't think of what, what station, but yes, I've heard that, and that's consistent, I think across the board, yeah, it is Michael Hingson ** 14:03 well, and I think it's a little bit different, not necessarily totally, but a little different, because what they're doing is they're probably changing formats and other things, and they want to bring in people who are familiar with but I also Do think that they don't look at the value that, if you will, tribal knowledge, even in a radio environment, can play. So what do you do? Well, you said something earlier, interesting. You said that your parents brought you up being very self assured, self confident, and so on. I think that's that's an important feature and skill that we ought to have. Do you? Do you ever find, though, that you're too self confident, and it go in a kind of transitions over into arrogance, as opposed to just self confidence? Robert Moment ** 14:55 You know, one of the things my father, you. Taught us you have to be careful about ego. Because he said, ego, you know that can be blind, blind confidence and blind confidence. You know that's tied to external validation, you know. And he said, you know, really, self belief is about trusting, you know, trust in your inner knowing. And not only trusting your inner knowing, it's you know your instincts and and just know deep down, you know you are capable of overcoming challenges and achieving goals. And you know, he even taught us, even said this, and I don't know he didn't invent this, but he said, you know, ego is edging God out, and you want to focus on just trust and believe yourself. You're going to have challenges, but you really have it's a fine line, that ego confidence is great, but that ego that goes beyond confidence, that you know sometimes you don't even really look at reality like you feel like you're invincible. And I think when you think you become invincible, that's when arrogance and ego come in. Michael Hingson ** 16:17 If you're really invincible, you don't have to show it. It is just the way it goes. Well. Have you ever had a time in your life when you experienced something that really caused you to face a major challenge and doubt yourself, and how did you deal with that? Robert Moment ** 16:37 My first corporate executive position that inner critic came up. An inner critic is, do I have what it takes? Am I good enough? And how I acquired my inner critics? And it is still comes up, sometimes even now, with opportunity, but I have to say to myself, I have to take inventory. Look at your past successes, look at your past wins, and look at the skills that you bring to the table. And those skills are transferable, whether it's a client that I'm coaching now or a future client, bigger client, but just because sometimes you know, when the opportunity comes, we excited. We get excited about the opportunity, Michael, but then, like I said for me, that inner critic is like, Okay, are you ready for this? And I have to remind myself, Yes, you are you. You have more than enough. You are enough, and you can do this. Michael Hingson ** 17:39 So what really happened that caused a lot of self doubt with that first job, Robert Moment ** 17:45 the responsibilities, the revenue that I needed to generate, that I had never had that kind of revenue before, and and the people who I was going to manage, but at the end of the day, you know, I said, You know what? They would not have given you this position, and if they didn't think you could do it. And then look at your look at the skills that you have. And once again, I took audit in terms of the skills, my transferable skills, and I was able to succeed. But still, that inner critic, inner voice that happens even now as a coach, how do you Michael Hingson ** 18:24 how do you get past that inner voice? Doing that, Robert Moment ** 18:28 I created an acronym. An acronym is B, line, B, E, L, I, E, and it starts with I begin self awareness and I understand my strengths and I understand my weaknesses. And then E, I embrace my imperfections, and because everyone has them, but what makes me unique? And then L, I learned from my setbacks. I know there's obstacles and opportunities for growth. And then I invest in self care, I prioritize my physical and mental well being, and in E I empower that inner voice to silence any negative self talk, and I just focus on the positives, Michael Hingson ** 19:11 one of the things that we talk about on unstoppable mindset. And I've said it a number of times, so I hope people don't get too bored, but I think it's important to say, I used to always say, I'm my own worst critic. I listen to speeches when I give them. I did it some when I was program director at the campus radio station at UC Irvine K UCI. I've done it a lot of times. I listen to myself, and I always used to say, you know, I'm really hard on myself. I'm going to be harder on myself than anyone else. Anyone else, because I'm my own worst critic. And actually, only the last over the last year have I realized wrong approach. I'm not my I'm not my own worst critic. I do believe in, and have always believed in the kinds of things that you're talking about, introspection on. Self analysis and so on. And what I realized is that, in reality, no one can teach me anything. They can provide the information, but I'm the only one who can teach me, and I've changed from saying I'm my own worst critic to saying I'm my own best teacher. And the reality is that just totally reshapes the attitude, and I will will tell you that it also helps in dealing with that inner voice. Because when I start to think about that, I think about, okay, how do I teach me? Well, it goes back to self analysis. It goes back to introspection. What worked today? Why didn't that go as well as I thought that it should, and it could be I was just too, too confident, and I've got to be open enough to acknowledge that, and okay, so what do you do to make sure that doesn't happen again? So I love the approach of I'm my own best teacher, because it's such a a positive and more constructive way of helping to guide you into introspection and real self analysis. Robert Moment ** 21:06 You know, I love the concept, you know, I would say, Isn't that owning your power? Sure, yeah, I would say that's Michael, that's owning your power. It Michael Hingson ** 21:17 is owning it's owning, well, it's owning your power, and it's owning your actions and what you do, and when you acknowledge that, then you can sit back and look at it and go, Okay, so let's discuss brain what happened. But that's exactly right, and I would rather look at things with something that will really move me forward. Rather than saying, let's criticize other people can criticize me, but then ultimately, I have to go back and listen to and look at what they say and decide, okay, where's the merit they're saying it, maybe there's something to it, but is there really, or how much? And take it to heart, but come to a decision and move forward. You Robert Moment ** 22:11 know that, you know, I call it, I would, you know, reframe it, and that that was a, that's a major pivot shift in terms of your mindset and your thought process. Yeah, because, you know, a lot of times people, we can be our own worst enemy, and, like you said, our own worst critic. But how you're reframing it from a positive more so than a negative because most people want to, they start with the negative instead of the positive. Yeah, yeah. So I like how you're reframing that. Because just like this is that self talk, you know, you can say, you know, I'm not good enough. Well, say I am good enough, just that slightly framing, because I always words have power, and you continue to repeat something, you will believe it, Michael Hingson ** 23:09 and you can also say, How can I get better? Yes, and take the time to really analyze it, because I believe that ultimately, when we look at ourselves, we can, if we practice it and develop that mind muscle, we really know the answers, but we have to listen to get them to come to the surface so we can deal with them. The fact of the matter is, we know a lot more than we think we do. We underestimate ourselves. And so often something comes up, and suddenly we think of an answer, but we go, oh, no, that's too easy. Or no, that can't be it. And we go back and, yeah, you see what I'm saying. And we go back and overthink it, and then come up with what turned out to be the wrong answer, because we wouldn't listen to ourselves with the right answer. You Robert Moment ** 24:05 know, I feel as though the universe is always talking to us, and sometimes we have to be still. And for instance, you know, if I'm coming up with a book title, like you said, if it's too easy, it's like, well, that's too easy. Well, no, that's probably the book title that you need, yeah, or the article title. You know, a lot of times we think, if it's too easy, that's not the solution. But here's something that was, I learned in corporate America, we would, here's an example, a client had a problem. Let's say it could be any problem. And we, you know, meet with the client. The client, they have five people, you know, representing our company, and maybe we have three or four, and they said, you know, they've had this problem. Six. Months, and I'm listening to the client, and I said, you know, this is the solution. And I remember telling a VP, I wasn't at the VP level yet. We we had a debrief, you know, like in the lobby after the meeting, and I said, this is the this is a solution. This is the solution to the client problem, and this is what he said. He said, That's he said, No, that's to he said, not. The meeting lasted maybe almost almost two hours, and he said, No, that. He said, You know what a client, we can't go back to the client and say that's the solution because they had the problem. He said, for over six months, and what we want to charge the client, we got to drag this out. And I said, Why drag it up? They got a problem. And he said, they will not believe that we solve this problem within two hours. So I you know he was a VP, yeah, Michael, it we went through, I want to say this is years ago, five or six meetings and the solution, it was this, right solution, six meetings, and then finally, we tell the client, okay, we have come up with the solution. And that's when I think I said, you know, I don't think I'm going to be in corporate America too long after that, Michael Hingson ** 26:35 you know? And I've, I've talked about it a few times after leaving Kurzweil because I was dismissed, as it were, or Xerox. Actually, at that point, I couldn't find a job because people wouldn't hire a blind person. And it's still way all too often the case, the unemployment rate is, you know, incredibly high. Depending on where you are. It could be 60 65% significantly higher, and I was looking for a job and wasn't finding one. And so what I eventually did was I started my own company selling computer aided design systems to architects, a blind guy selling cat systems. Why not? You know, I didn't need, I didn't need to work the system, but I did need to know how to work the system so that I could describe it to people. Well anyway, as we started working with architects and so on, they would say, well, we can't as much as this system works and all that we can't take on this system because we charge with our by our time, with our with our effort and our time, and if we use the CAD system, we'll get done in a fraction of the time, and so we'll not make as much money. Well, you know, my response was, you are looking at it all wrong. You're bringing in new technology. You're bringing in so much more capabilities, because you could bring a customer in, and you can do walk throughs and fly throughs and show them exactly what it looks like looking out a window from inside a building and all sorts of stuff. They can say they want to change something, and they can make the change, or you can make the change as they suggest it. You're not charging for your time anymore. You're charging for your expertise. You don't need to charge less, but you're charging for all the expertise and the skills and the added value that you bring to the sale. And the architects who got that, and there were some who did and some who didn't, but the architects who got it really began doing extremely well, because they could also then go off and look for more customers more quickly, quickly, yeah, and we, we really, we really need to remember that there are, on a regular basis, new and better solutions coming up, and it's hard to keep up with everything. But by the same token, if we can be aware of what we need to do to make everyone's lives better with whom we work, we're going to do better, because they're going to do better. Robert Moment ** 29:20 I totally agree. Because, you know, when I'm working with clients, even if the first two sessions, I have a solution, I'm not going to say, okay, you know what? Hold on to this solution until coaching sessions. In six months into the coaching session, you know that? You know, yes, for me, it's integrity. That's one, but two, I want all my clients to succeed as fast as quick as possible. And you know, I remember, gosh, when I started out this client, he's I said, one of the questions I was asked, have you. Ever had a coach before? And he said, Yes, I had a coach before. And I said, Well, how did it work out? And he says, I felt as though he had solutions or could help me, but he dragged out the process. And I said, Okay, that's not gonna happen with me. Because then I thought, you know, I thought back in my experience when I was in corporate America, yeah, when you have the solution, but, you know, I think I really want to coach him for another six months, not for two days, or, you know, two weeks. So, yeah, well, you Michael Hingson ** 30:35 could coach him for another six months. It's just that you're going to evolve and go in different directions, if that makes sense to do, yes, yes. And if it doesn't, you're going to have a very happy customer who's going to tell other people about you. Absolutely 30:51 yes. Well, Michael Hingson ** 30:54 I want to get to your transition, but first, just following up on something we talked a little bit about, how do you really tell the difference between overconfidence, or what you call our inner critic and or whatever, and the whole real issue of healthy self evaluation? How do we really make those differentiations? Robert Moment ** 31:16 I would say, in terms of, like I said, ego is self validation. I'm sorry, self validation, or external validation, when you're talking about self belief, that's trusting, that's a inner knowing, that's your inner being, your core. And I think that's the difference, and because when you're talking about self belief, you begin with self awareness. I don't know anybody who has a huge ego focuses on self awareness. They don't understand. They not want to talk about understanding our strengths, understanding our weaknesses, ego. They just don't but when you talk about self belief, self awareness, and then they embrace their imperfections, to me, that's, that's, that's very, very important. And then I can say, when you talk about investing in self care, you do prioritize your mental well being and also your physical well being. You take, really, you take inventory of self Michael Hingson ** 32:21 as you should, and it's something that you, if you're doing it right, probably do on a regular basis. Yes, Robert Moment ** 32:29 that's one thing I tell clients weekly. There's five questions I might give them depending on the individual to do what I call a mental coaching, self, self, mental coaching each and every week, because mental health, you know, it's, it's prevalent, and especially the higher you are as an executive, the pressure and self audit. Because even myself, I, you know, yes, I'm a coach, but coaching people, they said, well, that mental health, that's yeah, I have to still go out my mental health as well. Yeah, Michael Hingson ** 33:10 well, and there's nothing wrong with asking yourself, did I really do that? Right? What can I learn? How do I move forward? But even just the whole concept of, did I do it right? Did I do what I really should do? Asking yourself that helps so much to assist you in becoming more self aware, because if you ask that with an open, curious attitude, you're going to get the right answers, and then you can use it to move forward. Robert Moment ** 33:45 You know, you're right about one of the things coaching. As a coach, you I always say to myself after every session, did I asked the right questions, was I curious enough? And did I go deeper? Because sometimes a client might give me a response, and I try to make sure I don't gloss over that response. And I want to say, you know, what? Can we go deeper? And then sometimes, you know, I ask for permission. Can we go deeper? Because Francis, our client, a couple weeks ago, he's had some leadership challenges. And I said, How does transparency, how does empathy and how does trust show up in your leadership style? And he said he gave me some examples. And I said, Well, can we go deeper? And he said, Well, I just gave you some examples. And he said, Well, why do you want to go deeper? I said, I'm here to help you, because with the examples he gave me wasn't it didn't have a lot of substance. And you know, after the session. You, he did say this, and you know, I don't need someone to pat me on the back. But he said, You know what? Now, I appreciate you as a coach, because he said, You know what, these three things. So I said, journal this week, how does those three things show up in your leadership style? And I want to see examples on next session, and that's what I want to be curious. But also want to go deeper, Michael Hingson ** 35:22 do you record your sessions? Robert Moment ** 35:24 Yes, I do. Yes, yes, and, and. So Michael Hingson ** 35:27 the reason for asking that question is, then, do you go back and listen to them as a learning experience for you as well? Yes, I do. Okay, yes, which is, which is the which is the point, yeah, because you're your own best teacher, yes, but it sounds like that that person had some definite trust issues and probably needed to show a little bit more empathy and vulnerability than than they were showing. Robert Moment ** 36:00 Yeah, you know, one of the things I did tell him, I said, you know, vulnerability, it's not a weakness. And and then, you know, one of the things when I said, when I have to dig deep, a lot of times when clients, it's not just about coaching them on how to become the best executive, but a lot of times it's about the story that the story that personalized, because a lot of times, for instance, here's an example about this. Is after COVID, this company called me and they said, Well, this executive we bought on board. He's a high performer on paper, but he is creating a toxic environment here. And I said, Well, you know, I was talking to the Chief Human Resource Officer. I said, I'm not understanding this. You said he interviewed. Well, he was a high performer. He has a great track record, but why is he calls it a toxic environment in your organization. And she said, Well, we gotta one or two things that's gonna happen. One, if he doesn't turn things around, we don't want to put him on any kind of corrective action, but we will have to, because two people have threatened to leave, and they've been here longer than him. So long story short, they said we're going to offer him coaching. If he doesn't accept coaching and doesn't turn things around, then yes, we're going to put him on corrective action and we'll terminate him. And he accepted coaching. And the one thing the second session that we had, and that's why I always said, Yeah, I have to go deep. And I said, they said, you know, when you are in meetings that you are not able to accept constructive criticism and and he says, that's that perception. So I said, well, but these are some examples that they gave me, and he said, and I said, Well, what kind and I don't know, Michael, something said to me, and sometimes, like I said, it's your intuition, yeah, instinct. I said, What kind of relationship did you have with your father? And this is what he blurted out. All of my life, he's been critical, criticized. I could never do anything right in his eyes. And I said, Can we go deeper? And I said, right now today, what kind of relationship do you have with your father? He said, I haven't spoken to my father in over seven years. And I said, would you what? Could you tell me why? So he told me why. And I said, Well, would you believe this statement that I'm about to make. And I said, you've had this all in your life, not just at this company. And he said, Yes, he has. And I said, not able to be able to take constructive criticism. And I said, here's things. I said, I can help you on two levels. I can help you on a professional level and I can help you on a personal level. So you said, Well, I told him how I could help him on this professional level. But I said the personal level, that's optional, because the company is paying for the professional the personal, I want to help you on a personal level. And I said, one of the things are you willing to take this major step that I'm about to ask you to take, and that's to forgive your father? Mm, hmm. And he said, first he he resisted. And I said, you're going to have this problem you're in. Entire life. And long story short, he forgave his father. I walked him through the process. I spoke to his father. Actually, we all and his father had never seen his granddaughter. And his granddaughter, I think, was four or five, and he saw for the first time that year, that Thanksgiving, and Michael Hingson ** 40:22 I assume that the client ended up hopefully doing okay, and stayed with the company. Robert Moment ** 40:30 He stayed with the company. He turned things around. Now this is what I'd say to not just the listeners, even myself. That's why, that's one of the reasons why coaching is my calling. It's not just the results the business results. I want them. I want every client to be the best version of themselves, not just in a professional but also that personalized. And you know that to me? You know that probably made my coaching year, not how many clients I coach, but just that made my coaching year for for a grandfather to see his grand. Now his his wife have seen her granddaughter, but his father had never seen only, only pictures. Michael Hingson ** 41:25 Well, I'm glad that the the father and son made peace, and that that is so important. I think there is a whole lot of of connection between the professional parts and the personal parts. One of the reactions I had when you started the story was that, in reality, the professional part isn't going to really improve unless the personal part does. Robert Moment ** 41:48 Yes, you're absolutely right. And I like i i tell my client, you're going to have this your entire life until you resolve it and forgive your father and you know, when I talked to the Father, Michael, his father was like that, so the cycle was never broken. Yeah, Michael Hingson ** 42:11 it so often happens in so many different ways, doesn't Robert Moment ** 42:14 it? Yeah? And, you know, and you're talking about a father, you know, life is short, and you're talking those many years without speaking to your father, not seeing him. And you know, you know the worst thing, it didn't happen. But if he would have lost his father, yeah, I was just Michael Hingson ** 42:33 thinking that, yeah, if he would have lost his father, man, what a blessing. That didn't happen. Yeah, yes, Robert Moment ** 42:38 absolutely. And then, not only that, your granddaughter would have never saw her grandfather, grandfather, right? Yeah. Michael Hingson ** 42:47 Well, now let's, let's talk about you again a little bit. So you talked earlier. You told the story of what happened in corporate America, and you said that was kind of one of the things that started you to transition what, what finally was the the last straw, if you will, that led you to decide to leave corporate America, and how did you decide to go in and transition to just being a coach and, well, not just being but being a coach and starting your own business, Robert Moment ** 43:15 we went, I can't think of, Wow, gosh, it was the year. It was a year where we was having, there was a lot of recession, was a recession and a lot of layoffs, and I had gotten tired of the politics, and I said, you know, I want something new, different, but I don't know what, but I want to become an entrepreneur. Because I was selling Christmas cards when I was like, in the fifth grade, you could get engraved personalized. I had a lawn a landscaping business sold T shirts. So I've always been an entrepreneur at heart, but I just didn't know what I needed to do to make that transition. So what happened was a lot of people colleagues were getting laid off, and they said, Well, can you help me find a job? I'm like, Well, I don't know if I can help you find a job. I don't have any connections like that, because the companies that I know they are laying off to Yeah. And they said, Well, you know, maybe you can help me interview. I'm like, okay, I can help you interview. Because I interview very well. I think because I got the copies I've worked for, I went through three or four interviews. So I started helping people get hired for jobs I wasn't charging. It was just, you know, pro bono. And I said, well, they said, you to get hired expert. And I said, not to get hired. They said, Yeah, because you I started getting referrals, and I wasn't. And I said, well, they said, Yeah. Know such and such. Said, you can help so and they said, you know, you're coaching us. I'm like coaching. Okay, I don't see myself as a coach. But then I realized I was coaching, I would mentor when I was in corporate America. So this is how, this is how I started to get paid, though, as a coach, a colleague referred this executive to me, and he said he had been with this company like for 15 years, and he said he doesn't know he really needs to help on job search interview, and he said he's going to give you a call. And I said, he said, Because I told him, You can help me, because you helped me get a job. So, long story short, he calls me up, and this is what he said. He said, I need your help, and I want to hire you as a coach. How much do you charge for years of coaching? I want you to help me find a job. Help me to interview. I need your help. And when he said, charge, I didn't know what this I said, Well, charge. I almost said, I've been doing this for free. Robert Moment ** 46:27 Yes, Michael, and you're absolutely right, my friend. So I said, I threw out Michael. I threw out a number man for one year. I just, I don't know where that number came from. So I threw out the number, and this is what he said. He said, Well, how do how do I pay you? Do I pay you my check credit card? I didn't have no business account set up or anything, my personal checking accounts or money market. And I said, check. And he says, Well, how do you want me to mail you to check? And he's then he said this. He said, I am going to the bank because I'm getting my severance I gotta work things out. I'm getting my severance package, and I wire you the money. I said, Sure, you can borrow the money. So I gave him my account, long story short, and then when the money, I couldn't believe it. I said, you know, what did I charge? Did I overcharge it? Michael Hingson ** 47:26 Yeah, you always ask that, or under charge, right, under Robert Moment ** 47:29 charge. I said, because that was that. That was that transaction was too quick, too fast. And then I realized, after I did some research, I didn't overcharge and but then, you know what happened? When we came close to the first session, I said, Oh, my God, can I do this? Because this man has given me X number of dollars, and this is my first paying client, and that's when the inner voice came like, you know, this man may be asking you for a refund, so don't spend this money, you know, just put it aside in this account. And even I open a bit, and then I did open a business account, don't even touch this money. And you know what? Two months go back, and then, you know, I got past that point because I was telling my father. I said, Dad, I feel like the sessions are going great. And he got me, actually got hired, probably within four months, he had two offers. And then he said, I want you to coach me throughout for the year, of course. And I did not touch that money, Michael until I felt comfortable, maybe about six months. I moved it into, I think, I bought some stocks, and I said, you know, okay, but I, you know, I had some limiting beliefs that I had to get past. Yeah, I did. Michael Hingson ** 49:06 Well, it was a new adventure. It was new all the way around for you. You had to discover that the Earth really is round and not flat, so it's fair. Robert Moment ** 49:18 Yeah, you know, when you, you I tell even new coaches, when we all going to have, you know, limiting beliefs, and you have to, you have to fight through it. Yeah, you have to fight through it, because that, you know, like I said, my biggest fear was, don't spend the money, because he might ask for a refund. And, you know, I've had clients. No one has ever asked me for a refund. But that first client, I was kind of like, like I said not. I was confident in coaching him. But then I was that in a critic saying the. Spend that money because, you know what? Not that I needed to spend it. But then after that, I started to get more clients because referrals. And I said, You know what? Now is the time to make the leap. There you go. And I made the leap, yeah, and, Michael Hingson ** 50:19 and and you've been doing it now. What about 20 years? Yeah, about 20 years. You know, I, I find it interesting. As a speaker, I was approached by someone who has an event coming up in June, and I quoted a number that I thought was high. But I also say I work with people in their budgets, which I'm I'm willing to do because the World Trade Center happened for me. And excuse me, in reality, while I do earn my living largely with it and speaking, I also want to be out there, inspiring and helping and educating so we negotiate. But I had this one customer, literally just this week, and they I quoted a number, and I figured it was high, and they came back and they said, Well, we really looked and that's a lot higher than we expected. We've actually had some comedians that we've been looking at possibly hiring, and they're quoting, like, maybe 20% of what you're quoting. And I said, I will work with you, but let me point out that I have the visibility, and you're hiring me for the inspiration that I bring in the expertise that I bring, as opposed to local comedians, and we'll see what happens, you know, and what's interesting is it's, it's a company that deals with the law. Lawyers don't negotiate a whole lot. Most of the time. They charge an hourly rate. You know, it's just interesting how people work at things. Robert Moment ** 51:58 You know, one thing always feel as though my father said this. He said, communicate the value. If you communicate the value and they can see it, price does not become an issue. Yeah. And he said, you know, communicate the value up front as much as you can, and then price doesn't become an issue is when you don't, they don't see the value, then all of a sudden, you know, I gotta think about it. Let me talk to you know is this, but when they can see the value, and then, you know what? My coach told me this. One of my first coaches told me this. He said, you know, a lot of coaches want to charge just, just to get a client, they want to charge low fees. And he said, those will be your worst clients. Michael Hingson ** 52:48 Yeah, absolutely, always will be your worst. Robert Moment ** 52:52 He said they will probably. He said they will be, I've wanted you don't do it. They're Michael Hingson ** 52:58 going to suck up your energy. They're going to do so much, many things, and they don't pay you for it, which is one of the reasons I'm resisting. We'll see what happens with this one. It isn't settled yet, and it'll work out. Yes, I have had other customers that I know didn't have big budgets. They're nonprofits and things like that. But again, we come to an agreement, both in terms of time and what's expected, as well as the money, and that's okay, but, but yeah, it is, you know, because not everybody is going to be able to pay what some bigger corporations will pay. That's okay, yeah, yeah. But the other thing that I actually always ask in my speaker contract is, if you like the speech, I want a letter of recommendation, and I want you to refer me to at least two other people. And Robert Moment ** 53:59 that works, yeah. I love that. I love that strategy. It works pretty Michael Hingson ** 54:03 well. Well, tell me, what are some practical techniques do you use to boost your self esteem and self belief, especially in difficult times? How do you psych yourself up in a good way? Well, Robert Moment ** 54:19 one of the things self talk. It's, you know, to me, self talk is, you know, you can do this. I believe in you, you know, I look at and also, not only that, I look at my whether it's a big win or small wins. I look back over my life too. And I said, you know, 10 years, five years, even two days, you was able to do this and and then I surround myself with very supportive people. Mm, hmm, that's, that's key, because I believe, you know, they believe, not only do they believe in me, but self. Belief in self is contagious. Michael Hingson ** 55:01 Yes, it absolutely is. Yeah, it's contagious Robert Moment ** 55:03 and and how I challenge, like I said that inner critic is, I love how you reframe things. Is self talk, positive self talk, and focus on your accomplishment and celebrate small wins. It don't have to be big wins. It'll be small wins. But celebrate and then remember this too. I tell whether it's clients, colleagues, self belief, it's a journey. It's not a destination. It's like you. Every year you're building, like building muscles, your self belief muscles, whether it's five years, six years, but every year, you're building through life, lessons, failures, setbacks, but you're still building that muscle. Yep, Michael Hingson ** 55:50 and when you understand that, that also will help give you the insight to continue to do it. Robert Moment ** 55:56 Yes, because you know when you learn from setbacks, even obstacles or opportunities for growth. And you know, when you have a growth mindset, you realize through self awareness, you give a chance to learn and continue to grow. And then you know one of the things to you know, your dreams deserve a chance. It doesn't matter how big or small, but all of our dreams deserve a chance, and we all have unique talents, and just, you know, focus on your strengths and let them shine. Yeah, Michael Hingson ** 56:39 what would you tell listeners who believe their self belief is at all time low. Where do they start? Robert Moment ** 56:46 Well, first of all, you want to take inventory of the skills that you currently have and be grateful for what you have, because we all have unique talents, skills, abilities and gifts. And a lot of times I think what happens people underestimate what they already have, and start to take inventory of, like I said, the skills, the talents that you have, and embrace your own uniqueness and also your own imperfections. Yeah, Michael Hingson ** 57:19 because if you don't recognize them, then you're never going to be able to deal with them. If you do recognize them, then you can deal with them Robert Moment ** 57:26 absolutely and like I said, once again, give yourself credit for your small victories. You don't have to be big victories, but give yourself credit, because, see, when you give yourself credit for your small victories. Michael, that continues to build momentum. Michael Hingson ** 57:43 Yep. Can you give me an example of someone who you believe has unwavering self belief and what we can learn from them? Yes, Robert Moment ** 57:52 I do. I want to share this story. My name is Barbara Corcoran. She's the real estate for the Shark Tank. Yes, you know her boyfriend and business partner. She was in real estate. He left her for her secretary, right? And but you know what that split, what it did for her, I know it was devastating, but it was a catalyst for her success, because what it did, it fueled her determination to form her own company, which was a corporate group. And I think, if I'm not mistaken, she sold it for about $66 million so that, to me, resilience in her situation was key. She embraced a new beginning, and she looked at failure as a stepping stone, which Michael Hingson ** 58:46 makes a lot of sense. I believe that we should get rid of the word failure from our vocabulary anyway. Failures are not failures. They are simply things that didn't work out as they should. And what are you going to do about it, right? It's we gotta get the negativity out of so much of it. Yeah, you Robert Moment ** 59:05 know we do. We do because, you know also what I and her. She believed in herself fiercely, man, because she feel as though, you know, she had something to prove. I get that. And guess what she did. Michael Hingson ** 59:22 You have a new book coming out entitled believe in yourself. You got this. Tell me about that. Robert Moment ** 59:27 This is about I want the reader to really take inventory in themselves. This book is a coaching book. It's going to be real. It's real simple, but it's going to have questions where they take inventory and really focus on believing in themselves, and not only just believing But accepting themselves. You know you can believe in yourself, but I want them to really accept who they are and and know that worth, know that value. You and know that they have something to bring and add to this world. Michael Hingson ** 1:00:04 Well, if you could leave our listeners with one final thought about self beliefs, what would that be? Robert Moment ** 1:00:10 Own Your Power. Own Your Power, and don't let any one hold you back and take control. Take control of your destiny. And then also remember that self belief is a journey and not a destination. Michael Hingson ** 1:00:27 I love that. If people would like to reach out to you and maybe talk to you about hiring you as their coach, or just learning more about you and your books and all that, because you've written several books actually, how do they do that? Robert Moment ** 1:00:39 They can reach me at Robert at leadership coaching and development.com or they can connect with me on LinkedIn. Michael Hingson ** 1:00:48 And what's the LinkedIn? Do you know your LinkedIn? Uh, yes, it'll be Robert moment leadership coach, okay, and what was the website? Again, website Robert Moment ** 1:00:57 is leadership coaching and development.com. Michael Hingson ** 1:01:01 Leadership, coaching and development.com. Great. Well, I hope people will reach out. This has been insightful in a lot of ways, I will say, validating for some of my beliefs, but also very educational. And I said at the beginning, I always love speaking to people who coach, I learn a lot, and I've always believed that that I'm not doing my job unless I'm learning at least as much as anybody else who listens to the podcast. So I really appreciate your time today. So Robert moment, thank you, and I want to thank all of you for listening. I hope that you have found this helpful if you want to really become a better leader. Robert has lots of ways clearly that he probably can help you, and it's worth exploring with him. So I hope you'll reach out. I'd love to hear from you. Please give me an email. You can reach me at speaker at Michael hingson.com Michael hingson is m, I, C, H, A, E, L, H, I N, G, s, O, N, just like it sounds actually speaker at Michael hingson.com love it. If you'd go to our podcast page, if you would, www, dot Michael hingson.com/podcast can listen to all of our episodes there, but wherever you're listening or watching, I would really value it greatly. If you would give us a five star rating and review us. We really appreciate people who do that. So any of that that you can do, I would really appreciate it. And as I've said many times on these podcasts, if you need to find a speaker to come and inspire and motivate. I'd love to talk with you about that. Email me at speaker@michaelhingson.com love to talk with you about that. And Robert, for you and everyone listening and watching. If you know of anyone who you think ought to be a guest on unstoppable mindset, please let us know. We'd love to meet people who want to be guests. So Robert, thank you again. I really appreciate you being here. This has been a lot of fun and definitely continued great success. Michael, Robert Moment ** 1:03:08 thank you. I'm truly grateful and continued success to you as well. Michael Hingson ** 1:03:18 You have been listening to the Unstoppable Mindset podcast. Thanks for dropping by. I hope that you'll join us again next week, and in future weeks for upcoming episodes. To subscribe to our podcast and to learn about upcoming episodes, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com slash podcast. Michael Hingson is spelled m i c h a e l h i n g s o n. While you're on the site., please use the form there to recommend people who we ought to interview in upcoming editions of the show. And also, we ask you and urge you to invite your friends to join us in the future. If you know of any one or any organization needing a speaker for an event, please email me at speaker at Michael hingson.com. I appreciate it very much. To learn more about the concept of blinded by fear, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com forward slash blinded by fear and while you're there, feel free to pick up a copy of my free eBook entitled blinded by fear. The unstoppable mindset podcast is provided by access cast an initiative of accessiBe and is sponsored by accessiBe. Please visit www.accessibe.com . AccessiBe is spelled a c c e s s i b e. There you can learn all about how you can make your website inclusive for all persons with disabilities and how you can help make the internet fully inclusive by 2025. Thanks again for Listening. Please come back and visit us again next week.
