Makes Sense Mondays - FEAR MANAGEMENT - Episode 50
Making Sense of the human FEAR MANAGEMENT SYSTEM. Funny twist on the challenging game of ANGER MANAGEMENT that of my observation and own experience with FEAR MANAGEMENT. You are either managing fear or leting it manage you. Welcome to MAKES...
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FEAR MANAGEMENT:
GREAT MORNING: Today I am grateful for fear and grateful for my openness to allow myself to partner with fear and elevate my impact and service to humanity.
Stepping outside the box with star studded July and the uncertainty and potential for criticism is scary but necessary as we know where growth takes place
Mentioned the idea of selfless and bigger mission supported service. Made me think about serving humanity and the kind of people I am looking for in my business.
KELLY? FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY? Why would you want to do that? What a nice Brand to be in service. The only person that doesn’t appreciate that brand is the one that is angry at themselves for not carrying it themselves. Hate you cause they ain't you.
You’re either the kind of person that sees garbage discarded on the street and picks it up or the one that expects and assumes someone else will because you don’t feel it is your fault and insist that you are not a garbage man. I’m looking for 5 garbage men/women. To mentor, and partner with in my coaching business to change the world one person at a time.
Isn't it interesting how God and the Universe have mysteriously placed everything we desire the most, inconveniently on the other side of a big smelly pile of shit? Notice this? We come up with anecdotes to acknowledge this as normal like the obstacle is the way. No mud, no lotus. Referencing the fact that the marvelous lotus flower ironically grows only in smelly mud. Heck, the amazing work done with the science of the FLOW STATE shows us that in order to get into your proverbial FLOW STATE you must first successfully navigate some sort of fear, challenge or struggle. If you really become aware of this phenomenon and learn to embrace the suck, you’ll begin to remodel your perspective, perception and relationship with struggle. Almost get excited when challenges arise, knowing that they are the precursor to your success. However, when you add the emotional component of FEAR to the equation, this acknowledgement becomes easier said than done. Our MFTPSE (Mother, Father, Teacher, Preacher, Society and Evolution have taught us how to navigate fear our whole lives. So if you are in a current reality where fear has a grip on you? And you are using that grip as an excuse to excuse you from your responsibility for your own success? It's not your fault. However, if you woke up this morning with the FIERCE URGENCY OF NOW to go out there and claim control of your life as its dominant force. To become the shotcaller of your days and start leveraging your success? It will require that you rewire your brain and develop a more efficient FEAR MANAGEMENT STRATEGY.
Business owners and entrepreneurs may face a range of fears, including fears of failure, finances, and losing control. Allow yourself to acknowledge the double edged sword of your perspectives and perceptions of the following common fears being both barriers and motivators and know that the side you focus on is a choice you make based on your urgency to win.:
Financial fears: Concerns about financial instability, not having enough money, or losing what they have.
Fear of failure: A common fear that can also be a source of inspiration.
Fear of losing control: Difficulty letting others take over, or becoming vulnerable to outside factors. MY STORY OF PUBLIC SPEAKING
Fear of making mistakes: Fear of making a major mistake, or failing to scale.
Fear of the unknown: Fear of uncertainty or being behind the market.
Fear of missing out: Missing business opportunities or not enjoying the job anymore.
Fear of letting people down: Fear of letting down the team or employees.
Fear of inadequacy: Feeling less than or not being skilled enough.
Fear of commitment: The commitment required to start a new business.
Fear of success: Success can seem overwhelming.
Some say that fear can be a motivator, but it can also be a barrier that prevents business leaders from taking risks. What does it mean to face your fears and overcome them? Does this mean they go away, or does it mean you have reprogrammed your brain and perception of fear and learned how it is perhaps happening for you rather than to you? I have found that every entrepreneur that has reached the top of the mountain and claimed their seat at the table of success and fulfillment have strong FEAR MANAGEMENT SYSTEMS that involve making fear their friend.
Funny twist ran through my mind when looking at the astoundingly challenging game of ANGER MANAGEMENT and all that comes with that. And that of my observation and own participation in FEAR MANAGEMENT. Although they are closely correlated, they have some fascinating differences. First of all I find it interesting how one seems to be more widely accepted then the other? Think about it. If someone says they are angry, in some way shape or form, don’t you recognize that as something that must be dealt with swiftly? You must either get the hell away from them or help them turn it down or off before something bad happens? But fear? When someone says they are afraid, there seems to be much more empathy and understanding around it. As well as the sharing of how normal it is to be afraid and perhaps share commonality with one another with some me too examples. So right off the bat, Fear Management poses a great challenge in that it is accepted. When something is accepted and somewhat normalized, the brain and body have less urgency to take an aggressive approach in addressing it no?
So society pays forward and sells us some great Fear Management strategies that are also socially acceptable and normalized and I find it funny that these strategies can often fly low under the radar of our being conscious of them being fear management strategies. Rather seeing them as just normal things that people do. A few interesting examples are seen in people taking cover. We learn to retreat under our desks, curl up and place our hands over our heads in a bomb drill or airplane crash scenario. Or the typical run and hide strategy. Then we see humans at times reacting to fear by impulsively buying more stuff for fear there will be no more stuff? We saw this during covid and we even saw it during Black Friday Sales etc. This type of fear has spawned multi billion dollar strategies of fortune 500 companies and sales trainers teach scarcity and urgency strategies to exploit it. In fact, when the FEAR of Death creeps in. When you wake up and see the unpredictable and limited nature of your mortality, this fear prompts people to either seize the day and make their time count, yet more often prompt people to say “fuck it” and allow themselves to experience as much pleasure and indulgence as they can before they die. This plays a large role in the Obesity Crisis no? Then there is the most popular Fear Management strategy that is so powerful that most wouldn’t allow themselves to admit this as a fear management strategy. That being the idea that aligning yourself with forces of goodness, will eliminate or alleviate your exposure to the things you fear. The notion carries this idea based on the Good vs. Evil theory teaches us that by being one of the good guys, you will somehow be protected by the bad guys. Obviously showing up in various religions or even in the notion of being a good human. Serve God and humanity and the forces of the universe will protect you. Interesting to experience this moment as I write the word God, forgetting to make the G capitalized, my computer underscored it and reminded me he gets the capital G. Yes sir, I'm sorry to forget that. What's interesting about this fear management strategy is to notice that in order for us to feel we are in the right, we must convince ourselves that others are in the wrong. This goes far past creating the vast incongruence of religions and their unique beliefs. It is often the cause of large scale tragedies of dictatorships and cults. Where people are prompted to follow a leader or movement, motivated by being convinced that the others are evil or abnormal and you must either be in or out.
Can you see there cannot be a right without a wrong? When you are justifying and standing for your right. Can you be aware at the same time that there must be something wrong? Can you also take note that the only person in that instance that sees the wrong as wrong, is you? The person you perceive is wrong perceives themselves as right. In fact making them right, no? Well, as right as you think you are. It's fun to converse with people and make a pact with them. I will let you think you are right, if you allow me to do the same. Deal?
Also a fun observation to look at all the great saints and gurus that we perceive have reached some sort of sainthood or enlightenment? They share the same types and amounts of fear and neurosis as we do. What makes them saints and gurus is how they have just stopped identifying themselves with them. They look at their fears and neurosis as ripples in a vast ocean. Also being aware that behind each ripple of fear and neurosis, is a n equal amount of ripples and waves of confidence, clarity and peaceful joy. Perhaps this is the way? Now, it is a hard pill for someone to swallow, reading this, if their version of this is the following of and serving their God. But also consider that this pill is as difficult to swallow to a young German boy that had brought into a dictator’s vision for the world. Guess what their strategy of handling or managing that fear and sense of adversity? ANGER and often extrication and violence. No worry, they can start going to ANGER MANAGEMENT classes for that. :) So it's only the open, curious and conscious individual that can identify their own Fear Management on this level. Which is difficult so I empathize. Makes me wonder about the soul of the human sometimes. Not the human. Humans can get caught up in good and evil. But I believe the soul is neither good nor evil. I believe the soul just is. Which means the human, if allowed, can coexist as both and be ok with that. But it takes the will and desire to do so and work. When looking at the work we do with our IRS (Interface Response System), this poses a worthy challenge in the assessment phase. Where we determine how to label someone as good or evil in determining who we allow in and out of our nightclub (Life). According to Ram Das, the challenge and art is to be able to see actions as evil, not the beings. This is the space that allows us to love everyone and forgive those that do evil things, knowing they know not what they do. But their being is inherently good. Big challenges there that we get to accept or reject. So what about you? Can you step away and untether yourself from the program you are comfortably running and identify your fear management strategies? If so, you are a highly open, curious and conscious being. From that vantage point you will be able to see all the other channels that offer other ideas that you needed to be wrong so you could be right. Perhaps you can take the huge step of allowing yourself to consider which ones actually suit you best. As options? Kind of like moving from a TV that only has one station to getting cable. Surf the channels and see what show you like the best? Perhaps you can also see that without the perception of fear, you’d have nothing to manage? Heck, without it, you might not even get out of bed today. Make Sense?
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