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I used to say "Yes" to everything. "Yes, I'll do this. Yes, I'll do that." I ended up exhausted, with no boundaries, constantly pushing myself to the brink. I told myself it was because I wanted to be nice and help people, but that was just a lie. The real reason was that I wanted people to like me.
Creating boundaries is crucial for feeling in control of our lives. It enhances that psychological safe haven we all crave. It's about more than just setting limits; it's about gaining confidence and realizing that you are in charge of your life. While some people's opinions may matter a little, most don't.
One of the biggest boosts to my confidence, beyond stopping the endless self-comparisons, was understanding the power of boundaries and surrounding myself with positive people. Look at the people around you. Are they lifting you up or dragging you down? Surround yourself with those who positively impact your life. Judgmental or critical people can seriously damage your mental strength and self-esteem.
If you constantly feel awful about yourself, and you're surrounded by negativity, it will reinforce that negative narrative in your mind. Many people don’t realize that their closest friends, partners, kids, or even parents can be incredibly negative and harm their self-esteem.
Learn to accept these compliments. Recognize the people who genuinely support and uplift you and keep them close.
Walking in confidence isn't a quick fix; it's a daily practice. Everyone has to work on this, myself included. Mika, Tia, all of us need to consistently practice building confidence and maintaining boundaries. Don't let your life be defined by negativity, lack of boundaries, or constant comparison. Instead, become familiar with holding your head high, appreciating your unique gifts, and embracing positivity.
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Get Obsessed with us. Collectively we are a nutritionist, a master certified life coach, an attorney, and a self-esteem expert. We dive into topics that uncover the essence of the human experience. Our stories are one of kicking fear in the face and taking a leap of faith.
We are equally obsessed with the works of Brene Brown and are inspired to study and understand the 30 core emotions. Each week we will explore another emotion, talk to experts in their field and inspire you to live the life you are meant to be living.
We are Julie Lokun, JD, Tia Morell Walden, Certified Holistic Nutritionist, and Mika Altidor, Certified Life Coach. Join us for the conversation, and more importantly be a part of the conversation. Reach out with a question or comment about an episode or suggest a personal development topic you are obsessed with. After all, the Obsessed Podcast is for you and about you.
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