Master the Art of Storytelling for Sales Success with Mark Carpenter

Master the Art of Storytelling for Sales Success with Mark Carpenter

[00:00:00] Harry: Mark Carpenter joining us on the Sales Made Easy podcast. I think today we're going to talk a little bit about conversations and storytelling.

[00:00:08] Welcome to Sales Made Easy, a podcast for business and personal growth. Join Harry Spaight, as he hosts sales experts and business owners who share their journeys of personal growth and business success now, here's your host, Harry.

[00:00:24] Harry: What is the good word, sir?

[00:00:26] Mark Carpenter: The good word is I'm talking to you. It's great to be with you, Harry, and other people may get the sense of this as we go forward, but Harry and I are like-minded in a lot of things and we, we keep finding that as we have more conversations.

[00:00:41] Harry: Excellent. Well, I'm looking forward to this one.

[00:00:43] Harry: You've got this excellent book out regarding master storytelling that you and I had this conversation in storytelling. In my opinion and the opinion of many others. And I think in a matter of science as well, that's storytelling [00:01:00] seems to work. What's your thought on that?

[00:01:03] Mark Carpenter: Well, storytelling is how we connect with each other as human beings.

[00:01:07] Mark Carpenter: If you think back to ancient man, before we had written communication, how did you communicate ideas to each other? You told each other stories. You told each other stories of. Oh, when I stepped in that plant, it gave me a rash. Don't step on that. When I ate that, I got really sick. Don't eat that. When I ate this, it was really, really good.

[00:01:28] Mark Carpenter: When I went to that area, there were dangerous animals. This is how we survived as a species. And to, to the point that you just made, More recently, there's been a lot of brain science around why it is that stories connect us as human beings. And so that, that's my point, that's the direction that I take storytelling, is let's use this as a business skill to keep us connected as human beings, because those are the best connections that we, that we have.

[00:01:54] Harry: Very true. And you just got me thinking, my wife and I were recently out in Arizona [00:02:00] looking at these writings on rocks and I forgot the name of the place, but it was, there was a lot of red rocks there for one and Sedona. No, it was now you're going to get me thinking here, but it had something to do with Lake of fire or yeah, not ring of fire, but I think of my Lake of fire near Las Vegas and in this area that we've they have all of these.

[00:02:29] Harry: You know, drawings and so forth from people, indigenous people that live there hundreds, maybe thousands of years ago, and are sharing these plants and what was edible. And so you're thinking, it's like, how did these people pass along that you can eat this plant? This one's really poisonous, but it had to be the stories, right?

[00:02:55] Harry: They didn't have the manual on The, the [00:03:00] proper herbaceous edibles, right?

[00:03:02] Mark Carpenter: Yeah. And so you think about it, who survived the ones that picked up on the stories because the other ones ate the bad plants or went to the wrong place and they ended up dead. So I think evolutionarily we are a storytelling society.

[00:03:17] Mark Carpenter: We are a storytelling species. This is how we make sense of the world. Yeah,

[00:03:22] Harry: it's so true. You know, even as little kids, you know, the once upon a time, right when you were, we started seeing that, whether it be from the Disney movies from the 1940s or, you know, our parents or grandparents telling us the story late at, well, whatever bedtime it was to get us to go to sleep, but that put us in the mood.

[00:03:43] Harry: So storytelling today, once people go down the path of telling the story, it seems like the audience just. Cues in and says, I need to listen. So talk to me about that and the science behind that. If you want,

[00:03:59] Mark Carpenter: yeah, I was just going [00:04:00] to say, that's where a lot of the brain science ties in and that there, there are some really good reasons for that.

[00:04:05] Mark Carpenter: One of my favorite researchers is Dr. Paul Zack at Claremont graduate university, and he talks about the brain chemistry and what happens in our brain when we're listening to a well told story. And one of the first things that comes up is that when you tell a story that you can relate to, when, when I tell a story that Harry goes, Oh yeah, I've had a similar experience to that.

[00:04:28] Mark Carpenter: Or like I I've been there. I can, I can relate to that. There is a slight increase in your brain in the hormone oxytocin. Now, if you've heard of oxytocin before, it is sometimes known as the trust chemical. And that is going to make you as the listener, trust me as the storyteller more. So think about this in business relationships.

[00:04:49] Mark Carpenter: Who do people buy from? They buy from people they know, trust and like. And so if I can increase that trust among us, storytelling is a great way to do that and to make those [00:05:00] connections and the same in a business leadership position. I want my team to trust me as a leader. Storytelling actually helps to do that.

[00:05:08] Mark Carpenter: So, Dr. Zak identified oxytocin as one of the things that increases in our brains. If you set up a story that has some conflict in there, something at risk, something that I want to be able to know what happened, it's going to peak my interest because it increases the cortisol in my brain just a little bit.

[00:05:26] Mark Carpenter: Just enough to heighten my interest and get me focused. So again, if you want people to listen to you, to focus on what you're saying, storytelling is a great way to do that because it increases the cortisol and then a well told story that has a great lesson learned and ending there that you can look back on and say, Oh, yes, I need to do that the next time or Ooh, that person made a mistake.

[00:05:46] Mark Carpenter: This is how I'm going to learn from that and make sure I don't make that mistake. We get an increase in dopamine. And dopamine is that neurotransmitter that you get when you've accomplished something when you've checked something off of your to do list, or you've leveled up on a [00:06:00] game, or even when you eat a little bit of dark chocolate, you get a little increase in dopamine, but it's that feeling of satisfaction that you get, and that's what makes the story so memorable.

[00:06:11] Mark Carpenter: And so tapping into our business needs, if you want people to trust you, to remember what you're saying, to find it more credible, storytelling is a great way to do that. Yeah, a

[00:06:22] Harry: hundred percent. I agree. You know, for years into me, when I started selling, I would just share the stories from one client to another, right?

[00:06:32] Harry: The challenges and, you know, I simply introduced it as this may or may not have happened with you. I don't really know what the science was, but it was, it was like taking the pressure off. When I was speaking to the person, this may or may not have happened with you, but I knew that it most likely did happen and you could see, you know, the face change and then they would say, Oh yeah, [00:07:00] we've experienced that.

[00:07:01] Harry: And then you've got them on the hook, so to speak, right? Because now instead of you telling them something that they need to do, they're now interested in what kind of outcome, because they're dealing with the issue. Now they want a better outcome than where they were headed. So yeah,

[00:07:18] Mark Carpenter: totally thoughts on what you just said there.

[00:07:20] Mark Carpenter: One of the reasons that we focus on using experiences as the stories to teach, lead, sell, and inspire is because they are more relatable in those situations. We love stories because we live stories. This is, this is what we do in our day to day life. And when you can pull a lesson out of that ordinary experience, it becomes an extraordinary impact on the other person because it's relatable because they can, they can connect into that.

[00:07:49] Mark Carpenter: And so this is why stories just connect us as people and we want that connection. We as human beings, we crave that connection with other people. And [00:08:00] storytelling is a way to help make bridge that connection.

[00:08:02] Harry: I love the stories. They're so much better than the facts. I gave this presentation one time on storytelling and I found this data. I'm not sure how they measure the data, but something along the lines that you're more likely to remember a story than facts 22 fold. I mean, how do you measure that? I don't know, but it's regardless if it's three times as much.

[00:08:30] Harry: 10 times, 22 times, who knows, but the point is those stories are going to make you stand out. So whatever it is you're selling, if you're selling something like reliability, or whatever, as an example, and maybe you're selling cars, you're selling heating systems. You want to have the story where something breaks down.

[00:08:55] Harry: And you don't want that. Right. And you can say this to the client or the prospect [00:09:00] that that's not good for anybody, right? You know, whether your car breaks down at night or your. Your AC goes in the middle of the summer, but you have a story to tie that in and now it becomes way better than just, yeah, this is a reliable car or this is reliable air conditioning system, whatever,

[00:09:19] Mark Carpenter: because you're really not selling a product, you're selling a need.

[00:09:24] Mark Carpenter: Yeah, you're selling a fulfillment of a need that someone has. When I sell master storytelling as a concept and as our workshop, it's not so much that I'm selling the workshop. I am selling the need that people have to communicate in impactful ways. And that's different. So part of the importance of storytelling is listening really well.

[00:09:48] Mark Carpenter: And it's listening to understand what those needs are, so I can tell the story that relates to that need. You mentioned selling cars. If I was buying a car based on, [00:10:00] I need something with four wheels and an engine to get me from point A to point B, I would buy solely on price. But if I'm buying for, I want something that could protect me in an accident.

[00:10:12] Mark Carpenter: I want something that I can take camping. I want something that will drive well in in the snow. That's going to be different. And you're going to sell me that need, not necessarily the car itself. And so the car needs to have the features to meet that need, but I have to know what that need is. Before I can really effectively sell you the product.

[00:10:34] Harry: Yeah, 100%. The idea of having the story in mind ahead of time versus where it comes out naturally. Like the example you gave about the plants. Now, I would not, I have no idea where that story came from, but it's there. So I didn't prepare. And we have to trust ourselves that we can go [00:11:00] back in our mind and find these stories that will apply based on what someone is saying.

[00:11:08] Harry: And we'll have a story. We can have a story attached to it. So we can use very simply say things that reminds me of. And now you are in the story. So we don't have to overcomplicate it, but I know you're a believer that we all have stories like I am, like I believe, but some will say, Mark, where'd he get these stories?

[00:11:32] Harry: I don't have any stories. What's your, what's your take on that?

[00:11:36] Mark Carpenter: My, my take on that is, oh, just look around and you, you've got stories, you've got stories in your life. In fact, it just ties really well to how we started this conversation when I told the example of ancient man would have to tell each other the story about which plants to eat, which not all of a sudden that triggered something in you that you recently experienced by seeing the, the, the [00:12:00] paintings, the rock paintings from ancient civilizations.

[00:12:03] Mark Carpenter: Well, all of a sudden that connected you. Well, now you've got a story that you can tell based on that experience. And so I always tell people just to look for the experiences in your life. That you have an emotional reaction to and it could be an emotional reaction of joy or humor. It could be fear. It could be anxiety.

[00:12:22] Mark Carpenter: It could be frustration. But anytime you have an emotional reaction to something, there is likely a story that's there and listen to other people and the stories that they tell about their emotional reactions to things. And your statement there of, oh, that reminds me of the time we all have those stories because our life is just full of these little experiences, these little moments that are memorable.

[00:12:49] Mark Carpenter: And that again taps into the brain science around it, because storytelling will tap into people's memory centers in their brain. And so your real life [00:13:00] experiences. are the best ones to pull those experiences out of. Now from a sales perspective listen to your clients, listen to the experiences that you have in working with them and their aha moments.

[00:13:12] Mark Carpenter: Go out to some of your good clients and say, what was it that really tipped the balance point for you and working with us? And get their story and then you've got it and you'll have their emotional reaction to that and that emotional need that they've met. And so build up that bank of stories, be intentional about it.

[00:13:32] Mark Carpenter: I have a little folder in the notes app on my iPhone and it's called stories for someday. And I just jot notes to myself of things that happened that I have an emotional reaction to. There's like someday I'm going to need that because there's going to be a lesson that's going to come out of that that I need to share with somebody.

[00:13:50] Mark Carpenter: And so just be intentional about capturing those things.

[00:13:53] Harry: It's a great idea. It can also, those stories can also be used in social media as [00:14:00] well, where you can bring them to life and tie this in, right? Not that you see what I'm trying to say here is real easy for me to say, but the use. Of these stories will help you to further using that and help me clarify what I'm trying to say here, Mark,

[00:14:20] Mark Carpenter: I think what you're trying to say is like any skill.

[00:14:23] Mark Carpenter: You only get better at it when you use it. And so the more you tell stories, the more you practice taking those moments in your life. And identifying here's the lesson that comes out of that and crafting that into a story that leads to that point, the better you're going to get at it because that's the other objection that I hear from people.

[00:14:43] Mark Carpenter: Well, I'm just not a natural storyteller. Well, are we are we really born natural at anything? We develop these things over time. The the NBA basketball players didn't come out of the womb playing basketball. Maybe they had certain physical [00:15:00] characteristics that helped them as they grew, but they had to learn.

[00:15:03] Mark Carpenter: They had to practice. They had developed those skills. Storytelling is the exact same way. The more that you are intentional about developing that skill, the better we'll get.

[00:15:13] Harry: Yeah, amen to that. And, you know, when we do say things like, I'm not very good at it. It's, it's just, unfortunately, we, we might have a tendency to use that as an excuse and take away the responsibility.

[00:15:27] Harry: But if you're selling. Especially and you want a better income, then I highly encouraged to develop that skill. There's, there's a lot of things, like you mentioned that we're not great at sales, we probably weren't great at making phone calls at one time and, you know, having these stories where you say, well, I did this, I was able to improve on that.

[00:15:49] Harry: I could do the same with storytelling or whether it be tying your shoes or eating with a fork or riding a bike. We, we had to learn all of those things too. So yeah, totally.[00:16:00]

[00:16:00] Mark Carpenter: And I love your connection back into the sales world. You probably, if you're an exceptional sales salesperson, you probably weren't always exceptional at it.

[00:16:10] Mark Carpenter: So what did you do to get better at those areas that you're really good at? You're going to do the same thing to develop storytelling as a skill. You'll follow that same process to get better at a new skill that can help enhance your sales.

[00:16:25] Harry: Yeah. Excellent. What prompted you to write the book, Mark?

[00:16:30] Mark Carpenter: This is a story in and of itself, you probably knew that was coming, but there is a story behind this.

[00:16:36] Mark Carpenter: I I've been one of those people that did grow up around stories and story was an important part of my life as a, as a kid, mainly just as a way to get attention. Cause I was a middle child and and to just entertain my friends. My early part of my career was in corporate public relations and marketing communications, and that's a lot of storytelling to help people understand your [00:17:00] organization.

[00:17:00] Mark Carpenter: And then I transitioned into a facilitation where storytelling is an important way to teach. Well, fast forward several years from that point and I had helped a friend write a book and I said to my wife at the end of that process, I feel like I should write my book now that I've helped him on his book, but I don't know what my book is.

[00:17:20] Mark Carpenter: And she says, Oh, I know. And as we usually react, when those close to us say those kinds of things, I said, how can you know if I don't know, you don't know what my book is. She's no, no, you need to write a book about how you take these everyday experiences. And turn them into lessons learned through a story.

[00:17:37] Mark Carpenter: And I said, that's not a book. That's just what people do. And she looked at me and she goes, no, that's what you do. There's other people who don't know how to do that. And that was what prompted the first thought around this becoming the book. And I started talking to people about it. They said, Oh, I would love that.

[00:17:54] Mark Carpenter: I would love some help on storytelling as a skill. And then I partnered up with my good friend, [00:18:00] Daryl Harmon, and we coauthored this book and created the workshop that goes along with it. And the rest is, they stay as history, but it was that moment driving in the car with my wife, where she says, Oh, I know what you have to write about.

[00:18:12] Mark Carpenter: And that's what really prompted us to get to the book.

[00:18:15] Harry: My goodness. Yeah. That's really an amazing story that she knew before you and you bought into it. Was it was there any arm twisting in buying into the story she was selling you?

[00:18:27] Mark Carpenter: Well, the interesting thing is there wasn't an arm twisting from her, but I was a little resistant at first.

[00:18:32] Mark Carpenter: And, and actually Harry, this, this all happened. We were vacationing in Orlando. We were, we were down in your neck of the woods when this all came about at, but the thing that really got me going on it was I started asking other people. I just said, I'm thinking about this as a concept and the reactions that I got from other people made me swallow my pride a little bit and say to my wife.

[00:18:54] Mark Carpenter: Yep. You're right. This is the book that I need to write. Because I got [00:19:00] confirmation from other people that that was something that would help them. That was a concept. And some specific direction around it that would really be helpful for them. Great.

[00:19:10] Harry: What would you say goes into a story that people can walk away from listening to this and start applying something immediately?

[00:19:19] Harry: What would that be?

[00:19:20] Mark Carpenter: Well, I'll tie it back to a couple of things we've already talked about. And one is just the intentionality. Being intentional about what is the lesson I'm trying to share here. What's the point that I'm trying to get across because the story, even though it's your experience, the story is not about you.

[00:19:38] Mark Carpenter: The story is about the lesson learned and how that can help the person that you're talking to. And then once you understand that's the intention, it really helps you edit your experience into a more effective story. And so think about those three brain chemicals that I brought up earlier. If I'm going to get some oxytocin in my listener, I need to set up the story in a way that the person can relate [00:20:00] to.

[00:20:00] Mark Carpenter: And so this is the introduction of the story. It's setting the stage for here's the experience. Here's what was going on. Here's what we were trying to accomplish. Second phase is there needs to be some kind of conflict, which is going to bring a little dopamine into your listener and make them want to pay attention.

[00:20:17] Mark Carpenter: So how did that goal become at risk in that moment? And then there needs to be the change at the end. This is where we see, what is that lesson? What did I do to overcome that challenge that came in? Or, how did I fail to overcome that challenge, but what did I learn from it, that I'm hoping you will do next time, so you don't have to suffer the same pain that I did in that moment.

[00:20:43] Mark Carpenter: And some of those lesson learned stories, Are the best stories because they're very memorable. People can connect to them and they see the value in it because you're trying to help them overcome a problem that they may have, or that they may have in the future. Yeah, I'm

[00:20:58] Harry: loving this. [00:21:00] What would be an example of a story that doesn't have conflict that, yeah, I'm, I'm, you're, I hear what you're saying, but I'm trying to think of real life examples where that comes into play so that people may not even care to listen.

[00:21:18] Harry: Yeah,

[00:21:18] Mark Carpenter: and that's the thing, the great stories, they all do have some level of conflict in them. During the pandemic, my wife and I watched way too many Netflix movies and we're kind of running down the list. And I remember watching one with her and thinking, this is so boring. And we, we turned it off halfway through.

[00:21:37] Mark Carpenter: I don't think we even got to the end of it. And I looked back on that and went, why was that so boring? It didn't have any conflict in it. It just kind of drifted along and there was nothing that you could relate to. And sometimes people say, wow, I haven't had any of these experiences where I've had a chronic illness or this huge accident or something that I can tell this huge story.

[00:21:58] Mark Carpenter: I was in the Olympics or went to [00:22:00] the moon. It's like, you don't have to have that big of a conflict. I tell a story sometimes of driving to the airport. On a Sunday afternoon and looking in my rearview mirror and realize there's a police car that's been following me for a mile and thinking, Oh, no, I'm gonna get pulled over.

[00:22:18] Mark Carpenter: Well, the only huge conflict in this story was all the stuff that was going on in my mind because it turns out he was just going the same direction that I was. He got off at the same exit that I was, but he wasn't going to pull me over. But I built this thing up in my head so that it was huge. And the lesson learned from that is.

[00:22:37] Mark Carpenter: Don't create problems by the way you're thinking about other things, about other people. Think about that in terms of sales. Sometimes we, we, we go to get on a call with somebody and say, oh, they're not going to want to buy. They're going to have this objection. They're going to have this and we get on.

[00:22:49] Mark Carpenter: And all of a sudden we're in the negative frame of mind before we've started the conversation, right? And they may be ready to buy, but we framed ourself in such a negative point [00:23:00] that it's harder to make the sale. And so there's the lesson learned from that, even though there wasn't any huge conflict, I didn't have a shouting match with this police officer.

[00:23:08] Mark Carpenter: I never even talked to the police officer. It was the internal dialogue in my head that created that level of conflict. So it doesn't have to be some huge thing. Sometimes it can be small. As long as there's a lesson that we learned from that.

[00:23:23] Harry: Yeah. All right. So if I'm sharing a story related to selling, and I want to talk about a person who is a happy client, and I say something along the lines, I met Mark.

[00:23:40] Harry: He was amazing. We had some great conversations. He bought into my program and he is a happy client. Blah, right? However, right? So we could turn this around and say, I met Mark. We had some great conversations. And I found out [00:24:00] he was really skeptical when it came to selling and he didn't think that he had the ability to sell well because he wasn't a natural in sales.

[00:24:12] Harry: Now there's the conflict, right? Yeah. Okay.

[00:24:17] Mark Carpenter: Yep. Or, or, or it could be, and he was experiencing this kind of problem or this kind of pain. Yeah. He was realizing that he had a lot of people who were interested, but he wasn't closing a lot of sales. He wasn't closing a lot of business and he was kind of frustrated over that.

[00:24:33] Mark Carpenter: And he had a good product and people told him it was great, but he wasn't closing those sales. And so we had a conversation about what could be getting in the way of that. And so then you get to the change. Because people are, if you listen to people and you know that they have that same issue, then they're going to be sitting there going, Oh my gosh, he's talking about me.

[00:24:52] Mark Carpenter: This is my life that he's sharing here. And when you can get that kind of connection to the person in the [00:25:00] story, You've got them in, you've got them listening at least now you have to be able to deliver. You have to be able to deliver to the need that they have. At least you've got their attention.

[00:25:09] Harry: Yeah, without that attention.

[00:25:11] Harry: You're not going to get very far. So great point. And now you're telling this story. And you're diving a little bit deeper into it, which now shows the pain that the person is having and then the outcome, right, which is all great. How long should these stories be? Yeah.

[00:25:34] Mark Carpenter: And thank you for bringing that up because sometimes when people hear story, they think, oh, okay, so this is like the 12 minute story at the storytelling festival, or this is an entire Ted talk.

[00:25:44] Mark Carpenter: No, no. For these purposes. It's really two to three minutes at the most, and sometimes they can even be shorter than that, but the key thing is goes back to intentionality. It goes back to if I know what the intention is, I know what I'm [00:26:00] trying to get to in this story, and I know that structure of intro and conflict and change.

[00:26:05] Mark Carpenter: I can get to that point. Fairly quickly. I've had people in my workshops who said, Oh, but this experience, it kind of went on over the course of several days and there were a lot of elements involved in it. I just have to tell them which elements serve the point that you're trying to make and which don't and only include the elements that are going to serve your point.

[00:26:27] Mark Carpenter: Sometimes they come back with, I have 50 elements that serve this point. It's a great, you don't need to share them all. You just need to share enough. to get to the point that you're trying to make. And I find that people can get it down to a two and a half, three minute story. So that's really effective in making the point that they're trying to make.

[00:26:46] Harry: Yeah. Are you, you know, when you look at the, what the point they're trying to make is the key, it's the key is not to tell stories for the sake of telling stories. Exactly. And I've been around salespeople who [00:27:00] are in love with their storytelling. And then you can look over at the prospect and they're looking at their watch, they're picking up their phone, they're nodding ahead of time, like get through with this.

[00:27:13] Harry: So we have to be very cognizant really of what our listener is doing at that point. What's your thought?

[00:27:19] Mark Carpenter: Yeah. And I think we get infected by this from some of the conferences we go to, some of the things that we watch. I remember it was a conference a couple of years ago, and this gentleman stood on the stage and he told this really funny little anecdote about something that had happened right before, and people were laughing about it.

[00:27:38] Mark Carpenter: It was funny, but I was left sitting there going, what's the point of this? What, where, where is this really going? And honestly, he lost a little credibility with me. Because I didn't see the connection with that story and anything else that he was trying to make a point on. That's where you lose [00:28:00] your clients.

[00:28:01] Mark Carpenter: That's where you lose your prospects. Is if you're telling stories just to tell stories. But if it's a story that relates to them and that has a point that will help them, they'll be there. They'll buy into it. This goes back to something that we said early on. That's where the listening part of storytelling Really comes in.

[00:28:21] Mark Carpenter: You have to listen to understand what their need actually is before you jump into a story to help them with their problem. I put that in air quotes because if you don't know what their problem is. You may not be as helpful as you think you're being by telling that story. A hundred

[00:28:40] Harry: percent. Yeah. Cause if they don't connect the dots with the story and their problem, it's a waste of time and they're, they're rolling their eyes and they're, and you're losing your audience just like this person lost you.

[00:28:53] Harry: Yeah, that definitely can happen in sales as well.

[00:28:56] Mark Carpenter: Yeah. Because you're not tapping into that brain chemistry that we talked about.[00:29:00] If you're not getting something that's relatable, if you're not bringing some kind of conflict in and especially the relatability part, if you lose me on something that's not relatable to me, I'm gone and there's no connection there.

[00:29:14] Mark Carpenter: And so that is a super key point is make sure it's relatable to the person that you're talking to. Yeah,

[00:29:20] Harry: that's great. So I just wanted to touch quickly, Mark, this super helpful everyday conversations. You have a background in helping people to be better at the important conversations in life and in business.

[00:29:34] Harry: If you think of an example where storytelling comes in. Outside of sales and maybe just in relationships where, you know, there could be a benefit of sharing a story versus relating facts.

[00:29:48] Mark Carpenter: Yeah. And I always, I always like to emphasize also that I'm a believer in facts. I think facts are really important and, and that we do need to have a foundation of [00:30:00] facts and sales and features and benefits.

[00:30:03] Mark Carpenter: The story is the thing that augments those nice. I was having a conversation just a couple of weeks ago. In fact, I've got another call with these people in a couple of days about their leadership. Who stands up in front of people and shares all these facts and figures, they say, therefore, we need to do this.

[00:30:21] Mark Carpenter: And people go, wait. Wait, why, why does that say that? And so they're looking for help and getting them to say, this is the impact of these numbers, and this is why we need to do that now, again, that's, that's more on the business side that we were talking about. And you, you asked for a more personal example of it, but even, even in life as you're, as you're talking to your children, it's telling the story of.

[00:30:44] Mark Carpenter: Hey, here is here is the potential outcome of the path that you're on and I know that because I've either had this experience or I saw someone who did have that experience and it was really difficult for them to get through. I don't want [00:31:00] you to have to experience that pain. If you look at some of the some of the advertising messages that are focused that way you get that story of the person who had throat cancer.

[00:31:10] Mark Carpenter: And it's trying to say, if you want to start smoking as a team, this is where you're probably going to end up when you're 35, right? Do you want that? And so those kinds of stories that teach the lesson, I think are really important, even in our, our, our most important relationships, those are in that inner circle that are closest to us.

[00:31:31] Harry: Yeah, great stuff. It's it goes. I love what you said about having the facts. Facts are certainly we're not dismissing, but you said the story augments the facts and it's just so true. I think of the positive and the negative when next time we have this conversation, especially, you know, the people around us are children, and we say don't.

[00:31:55] Harry: Do something think of a reason and then or [00:32:00] share of the positive when you get better grades or if you find your purpose in life or and then you have a story to tell like so and so did or something. It's not always. It's like, here we go again, dad. Here's another story from dad. Oh, no, I'm going to shut up now.

[00:32:16] Harry: Right. But, you know, within reason you have these occasional stories that pique their interest. Those are the ones they remember.

[00:32:23] Mark Carpenter: And I, and I'm laughing because I think there were times that my children went, oh, it's another story from dad. Here we go, . But you know, as, as you were saying that, I just, I just remembered two days ago I had a, I was on a FaceTime call with my 11-year-old granddaughter and she was talking about this play that she's going to audition for, and then in the middle she said, I'm thinking maybe I just won't do it though.

[00:32:45] Mark Carpenter: I'm, I'm just not sure I'm gonna get a good part. And I, I just dunno if I'm gonna do it. Here's an opportunity for me to share. You know, the biggest regrets that I have are the things that I didn't try. And, and you're, and you're going to look back on that. If you, if you decide [00:33:00] not to do that, you're probably a week after or a month after when they're actually doing the show, start to think, I could have been there, I could have been in it, but you don't know, unless you try and I shared with her an experience that I had.

[00:33:15] Mark Carpenter: It was in music and performing growing up where I tried something and actually, I, I, I kind of, I kind of bombed something on stage. But I was glad I did it. I still look back on it and say, I'm glad I had that experience because I learned some resilience from that. I learned that life isn't over because I made that one very public mistake and she ended the conversation with, yeah, I'll probably try out.

[00:33:41] Mark Carpenter: And so I was glad that it, that at least it got her moving that back to that direction that she's going to audition for that. And I, I hope she remembers that conversation when that doubt creeps in again about whether or not she should

[00:33:54] Harry: audition. Yeah. That's where maybe a little Card or something thinking of [00:34:00] you card.

[00:34:00] Harry: We'll tie that in or something. Not that I would do that myself, but hearing the story, it's like reinforce it now.

[00:34:08] Mark Carpenter: Yeah. Well, with the 11 year old, it's a text to her phone. That's where that that's, that's today's version of that little card.

[00:34:15] Harry: Yeah. So good. Definitely could go on about this. The regrets.

[00:34:21] Harry: But yeah, this is interesting how you shared this story. It's having a conversation the other day with my 11 year old granddaughter, then the conflict and then the outcome, right? It's very simple. It's so natural. I'm pretty sure it wasn't well rehearsed. Were you coming on the show planning?

[00:34:38] Mark Carpenter: Honestly, I had not even thought about telling that story at all.

[00:34:41] Mark Carpenter: I had not even thought about that until something you said triggered that in my brain. And that's the thing about stories, they'll still trigger these little things within us. And, and if you go back and time that, yeah, it was probably about two and a half minutes, maybe two minutes in length. But if you get used [00:35:00] to that structure and you practice that structure a lot, it's fairly easy to flow your experiences into that story structure.

[00:35:07] Mark Carpenter: Hmm.

[00:35:08] Harry: I love it. So good. So Mark, did I leave anything out that you wanted to share with the sales made easy audience?

[00:35:15] Mark Carpenter: Well, we could go on all day, but I want to respect the, the time that we, that we have, there's just so much more. And I think the big thing that I would leave people with that final thought is try it.

[00:35:30] Mark Carpenter: We talked about this is how you build skills by trying it and be really intentional about why you're telling stories when you do, you will get the benefit of the connections that you make. This is how we connect as human beings. And for me, that's, that's the best way to sell is to make that human connection.

[00:35:51] Mark Carpenter: It's not an organization buying from an organization. In the end, it's people buying from people. And so the more we can connect with people, [00:36:00] the easier it's going to be.

[00:36:02] Harry: Wonderful. Mark, where can people find this great book on master storytelling? Where would you direct people for that?

[00:36:11] Mark Carpenter: The book itself is available on Amazon in all of its various formats, print, ebook and audio book.

[00:36:19] Mark Carpenter: If you're an audio book listener, you have to be able to put up with the sound of my voice for two hours and 53 minutes. That's the length of the book. So it's fairly short, actually, too. Another thing that you can do is check us out on our website, master storytelling. com. We've got a little resource there for people who are still feeling a little uncomfortable about the skill.

[00:36:40] Mark Carpenter: It's called a story catcher. If you go to the free stuff page, download the story catcher, and it gives you the directions that I gave. It's going to give you those reminders about looking for those emotional experiences that you have. And how to craft that into a story. I also welcome people to connect with me on LinkedIn.

[00:36:59] Mark Carpenter: I'm [00:37:00] regularly out there on LinkedIn. So I'd love to connect with you that way. And if you have questions that I can help you with, I'd be happy to answer

[00:37:07] Harry: those. Awesome. Well, it's been a blast. Super helpful, Mark. Much success in the storytelling coaching field. It's been great.

[00:37:15] Mark Carpenter: Great connecting with you.

[00:37:17] Mark Carpenter: Thanks for sharing your time with me and sharing your audience with me. We'll talk soon.

[00:37:21] Harry: You bet.

[00:37:22]