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On this episode of Sales Made Easy, our guest, Debi Talbert, shares a powerful story of personal transformation. It all started when Debi, a flight attendant, had a chance encounter with a life coach. Despite her seemingly great job, Debi felt internally distressed and allowed negative thoughts to hold her back. The life coach helped her realize that she didn't have to believe everything she thought. Debi began questioning her thoughts instead of automatically believing them, which led to a profound shift in her mindset.Debi opens up about her reliance on alcohol to silence her negative self-talk and beliefs about her accomplishments. She also shares her experience with ADHD and intense rejection sensitivity. Before conversations, Debi learned to mentally prepare herself by focusing on her intent and being present in the moment. Self-awareness and self-acceptance helped her navigate social interactions, although she still battles her internal critic, whom she calls the "comedian in her head."
Debi purposely sought out a specific crowd of people to hang out with but initially struggled to find her tribe. After a seven-year journey, she realized the need for change. Debi challenged the stories she told herself and shifted her perspective on alcohol's role in her life. Awareness is important in various aspects of life, including aging, alcohol consumption, and physical activity.
In this episode, Debi also discusses the significance of goal-setting in personal and business contexts. She challenges the belief that life stagnates after certain milestones and shares her personal journey of overcoming negative thoughts. Debi suggests methods such as self-talk, reading, and learning from others to improve selling skills.
Debi's unique perspective extends beyond the sales realm. She talks about the challenges airline passengers face and the importance of considering their perspective to make one's own job easier. Debi believes that many people give up on pursuing their dreams after they turn 60 and shares insights on recognizing signs of unhappiness in others.
Throughout the episode, Debi emphasizes the benefits of making small changes and suggests trying to live without something for 90 days to see its impact on one's life. She challenges the association between relaxation and alcohol, discussing the advertising strategies that make people believe they need to buy alcohol for relaxation. Ultimately, Debi's journey is about showing up authentically and challenging expectations. She shares her habit of recognizing when she's in the wrong role and using her detective skills to guide her behavior. Removing the "judge's robe" and not wanting to be like Judge Judy serve as valuable lessons in self-awareness.
Join us on this thought-provoking and inspiring episode of Sales Made Easy as Debi Talbert shares her personal transformation, wisdom, and insights on navigating life's challenges and finding success. Get ready to make positive changes in your own life!
From Coach Debi Talbert: Today, my mission is no less thrilling than navigating through turbulence. I guide women to prioritize their own needs, so that they can design lives they are wildly in love with, and just as importantly, capable of sustaining.
Our lives aren't in-flight movies; we can't pause, rewind or fast-forward. But with some clever strategies and a well-organized carry-on of self-care tools, we can make the journey far more enjoyable, with a lot less turbulence.
Through my coaching, you'll learn how to manage your energies, set your priorities, and, brace for it - learn to say "No" when needed.For more as to how Coach Debi can help you, check out her website here: https://www.jumpseatcoaching.com/
Thank you for checking out the Sales Made Easy podcast brought to you by Selling With Dignity.
I'm your host Harry Spaight and bring to you some 25+ years of sales and sales leadership experience in the hyper-competitive arena of office technology sales. I will be chatting with business owners and sales leaders that share their insights about growing their businesses and topics that will be of value. I will sprinkle in a little humor where we can fit it in because life is too short not to have a few laughs along the way.
Look for me on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/harryspaight/ and you can download a few chapters of Selling With Dignity here: https://sellingwithdignity.com/the-book/
Hey, everyone. What is the good word? We are in for some
Speaker:comedy laugh some serious conversation here today
Speaker:with the world renowned Debbie Talbert. Now if you don't know
Speaker:Debbie, she is a very nice individual
Speaker:who's a coach. She's left the corporate world a few years
Speaker:ago. She's helping people and serving people with her podcast
Speaker:call aging flipped, and she's been coaching for a number of
Speaker:years. She says all of her life, but she helps people with a number of
Speaker:different ways including mindset. And so we're really happy to have her here today
Speaker:because we're gonna talk about mindset being too old to
Speaker:change. you know, all those negative thoughts going to throw him right, and
Speaker:and maybe we'll have a chuckle along the way. So,
Speaker:Debbie, welcome to the made easy podcast.
Speaker:What's the good word? Gary, thank you so much. I
Speaker:really appreciate you having me here. And, yes, we're gonna have a a
Speaker:lot of we're gonna have fun and laughter in here. Alright. So -- Good
Speaker:deal. So this this thing about aging flipped. I I
Speaker:have gone to your website. I've listened to your pod cast.
Speaker:And I I'm probably one of those people that has
Speaker:flipped the idea of aging, but just what is
Speaker:going on with people? Do you think when they say they're just too
Speaker:old to make changes and pursue their dreams in life? when
Speaker:they still have tons of life left in them. What's your thought on
Speaker:that? Well, I my thought is the first thing
Speaker:is is the stories that we tell ourselves. Right? It's it's
Speaker:so it's literally when we start, and this starts,
Speaker:and it makes sense why we would do it. Because it starts when we're very
Speaker:young, really, If you're thinking about, like, we're gonna go to school, and then we're
Speaker:looking forward to middle school, then we're looking forward to high school, then we're looking
Speaker:forward to college. Then we're like, okay. We're gonna get married. and we're gonna get
Speaker:our job. And then we have those things, and then we
Speaker:stop teaching ourselves to look forward to things. Then we start
Speaker:looking downhill. And then on top of
Speaker:it, our brain does has its own, like,
Speaker:way of this negativity bias, and I actually call that
Speaker:our brains quirky attempt that stand up comedy because that's how we
Speaker:get in our negative self talk. Right? Oh my goodness.
Speaker:Negative self talk. What is that all about? I've never even heard of the oh,
Speaker:no. I've I've dealt with a little negative self talk. So
Speaker:Yeah. So, I mean, that's a great point because, you know, you think about all
Speaker:the things that we do in life. We're always looking forward to something. And so,
Speaker:like, maybe one of the last things that people look forward to. One of the
Speaker:last things is, you know, having their children watching, their children grow
Speaker:up. And then when they grow up, And they they're not needed anymore.
Speaker:It's like, well, I guess the next thing is maybe a rocking chair on the
Speaker:front porch, which is not exactly
Speaker:fulfilling after a couple of days of doing that. So
Speaker:how do you help people to see that, you know, there's there's there's
Speaker:hope for them? Well, part of if the first part of
Speaker:it starts, like, if we can understand how our brain is designed,
Speaker:and so our brain does have that negativity bias in there, and
Speaker:that's why I called the podcast aging flipped because I'm really
Speaker:teaching concepts and ideas on helping people flip the
Speaker:stories they have in their own mind. 1st, about
Speaker:what's possible as you're getting older. 2nd, about
Speaker:what's possible for you specifically. And then also
Speaker:even questioning what we as a society call
Speaker:normal. Right? Like, normal, in my opinion, is
Speaker:overrated. Right? Where right now normal and
Speaker:the way people see it, anyway, is actually you're aging in to get
Speaker:older, you should just be satisfied with sitting on sidelines,
Speaker:and I'm more interested in being at this age. I
Speaker:consider it, like, my prime of life 2.0. and I'm more
Speaker:interested in being a trailblazer. Instead of the sitting on the
Speaker:sidelines and decaying. Yeah. I mean, it's so
Speaker:good. I mean, you think do you have any people you look up to that
Speaker:have continued to keep going well past their,
Speaker:quote, unquote, retirement age? Yeah. Well, actually, I
Speaker:hang out with those people all the time now because I have purposely
Speaker:sought them out. Now at first, when I first started doing
Speaker:this, it wasn't easy to find that crowd of people.
Speaker:I mean, because when I I started doing this, like, 7 years ago, and I
Speaker:really flipped the script. 7 years ago around the
Speaker:importance of alcohol in my life because it really became
Speaker:too too big of a relevant part of my life. And part of
Speaker:that happened because of what I was
Speaker:telling myself about where I was at that stage of life.
Speaker:because so I was believing all those stories in my head around
Speaker:it was too late. I was fifty some odd years old. At the time, I
Speaker:was fifty nine when I stopped a decade of of drinking every night.
Speaker:And so I was like, but I started it in my
Speaker:forties because I started to it's too late. My kids are growing up. I didn't
Speaker:save enough money. I made too many mistakes, and it's too late for me to
Speaker:figure out anything different. This is all there is for me. And so
Speaker:it was literally that a bunch of stories I had around that. And
Speaker:so it took flipping the script first around
Speaker:when I told myself about alcohol's rule of my life for me to change that.
Speaker:And then I started flipping the script around the stories,
Speaker:that I would listen to as my brain would try to tell them to be
Speaker:around what was possible at this season of life. Mhmm.
Speaker:So did you when you were going through this stage and you
Speaker:were saying it's too late to do anything,
Speaker:was the, you know, the evening glass of wine or whatever
Speaker:it was that you had. Was that just part of the Well, I guess I'll
Speaker:just settle in and just just relax and
Speaker:you don't because that's all I got going on right now or what was What
Speaker:was kind of the thinking going through that? Well, it's
Speaker:actually a it started with a chance encounter with a life
Speaker:coach. Mhmm. So I had this chance encounter at the time. I was working full
Speaker:time as a flight attendant. So I was a flight attendant flying all over the
Speaker:world, And to the outside world, it looked like I had the best job. Right?
Speaker:I could, you know, fly all over the world, eat in all the places all
Speaker:over the world, go all over the place. But, internally, I was a hot
Speaker:mess. And I just felt like and it really was because
Speaker:I was listening to those negative stories my brain was
Speaker:telling me. And so it was a chance encounter with a life coach
Speaker:that really helped me within, I would say, 10 minutes.
Speaker:realize that I didn't have to believe everything I thought.
Speaker:And so I started working there practicing well,
Speaker:if it's my thoughts that and what I believe is what
Speaker:I attract was kinda how because it was a law of attraction coach that I
Speaker:had the first encounter with. If I'm the one that has
Speaker:control over my thoughts, then what if I gave my personal
Speaker:permission to stop listening to them? and just start questioning them
Speaker:instead of believing them all. So it really started
Speaker:there. And so what I was so the reason why the alcohol became so
Speaker:prevalent though, was because of the way I was talking
Speaker:to myself and what I believed about myself and what I had accomplished
Speaker:so far in life, I didn't want to
Speaker:hear it anymore, and the only way I could silence it was by having a
Speaker:drink. Then it silenced it. Mhmm.
Speaker:Right? And so that was part of where it ended up in the end. Where
Speaker:the alcohol became a part of my life is that helped me socialize. in
Speaker:the beginning, like, when it first came into my life. I used it to be
Speaker:able to in new crowds, be able to be the
Speaker:like, meet new people. Yep. Within it
Speaker:slowly developed into a crutch to literally not
Speaker:have to hear what I was telling myself about myself. Mhmm.
Speaker:Yep. Yeah. So this was
Speaker:how long did this go on before you said, you know, I'm really using
Speaker:this as a corruption. Maybe I should look view it a little differently.
Speaker:What? Was that, like, an overnight success for you? That was
Speaker:a 10 year flight. It was not overnight. I think that I literally
Speaker:started questioning it. Probably 10 years before,
Speaker:I actually stopped. Oh my goodness. And
Speaker:part of that was because I believed that
Speaker:alcohol was a natural part of life, and that it was only people that
Speaker:were in the gutter, that needed to look at it and rethink
Speaker:it. So, again, it was around stories I was believing and
Speaker:things that I had heard, but yet once I
Speaker:have the encounter with the codes, and I understood. Well, if it's the things
Speaker:I tell myself, I don't wanna go to for me
Speaker:anyway, to an AA meeting that was gonna tell me I was powerless
Speaker:because then I was believing I was powerless. So
Speaker:I kept searching out different solutions, so I
Speaker:decided, okay, what if I take what I've been
Speaker:learning with this coach and love attraction And the first
Speaker:question they have you do is whenever you're complaining, he
Speaker:would tell me, okay. So you know exactly what you don't want. What is it
Speaker:you do want? So that was, like, his power question, and so
Speaker:what do you want? So I literally took that and started
Speaker:asking myself, what do I want from this drink? So
Speaker:instead of trying to stop, I started changing my question,
Speaker:and that's how I learned. Like, at the time I was doing it, I didn't
Speaker:realize I was doing it because of what I was telling myself.
Speaker:But by pausing and asking myself that question,
Speaker:so changing how I was going about it that's what helped me
Speaker:create the change for myself. So I kept up that habit, and
Speaker:within 3 weeks of doing that, I was done.
Speaker:I haven't had a drink, actually, September 1st, which is not that far away from
Speaker:the day we're doing this. In a few months, but
Speaker:I will actually be 7 years. Wow. For that, I don't
Speaker:think I don't really I think about alcohol now, and this is because I help
Speaker:people untangle their own unwanted habit. That's part of what I do,
Speaker:but I don't think about that as far as part of my life. And so
Speaker:but I don't also think of myself as an
Speaker:addict or an alcoholic. It's someone that had this substance in my
Speaker:life, and it's complete now, and I've completed that.
Speaker:part of that thing being that being in my life. Mhmm. So
Speaker:is it an all or nothing? So I'm just thinking of people
Speaker:that Yeah. They work hard. You know, the old thing
Speaker:in sales. You work hard. You play hard. And then
Speaker:so you work hard all week, and then maybe on the weekend on Friday
Speaker:night, you're going out or whatever having a couple drinks.
Speaker:Is it really, does it need to be all or nothing with alcohol for
Speaker:everyone or for some people, or what's your thought on that?
Speaker:No. As far as I'm concerned, it needs to be what you, the individual.
Speaker:So what you need to do is give yourself permission to
Speaker:ask, is alcohol
Speaker:impacting my life in a way that I don't like, whatever
Speaker:that is. Right? So is my Friday night thing,
Speaker:the amount I'm consuming and how I'm doing it, is
Speaker:that getting in my way of spending my week and
Speaker:how I actually want to spend it. Right? So instead
Speaker:of thinking about running -- You mean sleeping and feeling miserable?
Speaker:Right. That's that's why I
Speaker:snorted in the microphone. I apologize for that, but
Speaker:not that I have ever experienced that in my life, maybe once.
Speaker:But so that's really more and so if you give yourself permission
Speaker:to really rethink alcohol's role in your life,
Speaker:isn't it? Is it helping me or hindering me?
Speaker:Instead of thinking, Oh, but if I am questioning it,
Speaker:That means there's something wrong with me. So, really, again, it
Speaker:comes from flipping that story, flipping that script about what you're
Speaker:believing. and just giving yourself permission
Speaker:to question it. Yeah. Well, you and I have
Speaker:had the conversation, and I've had this conversation with another friend, so I
Speaker:might have mixed the conversations. But
Speaker:I think it was with you where you might have asked,
Speaker:what's your when you associate you're
Speaker:associating relaxing with alcohol? for some
Speaker:people. And I think that was where it's pretty common
Speaker:where you just need to unwind and have a glass of wine. And it says
Speaker:everywhere. I and the thing that was you, we were talking about the advertising, the
Speaker:whole advertising around alcohol, which
Speaker:is I mean, turn on the TV listen to the radio
Speaker:and, you know, we're we're being bombarded that the weekends are
Speaker:made for Michelow at one time. I don't know if that's still going on, but
Speaker:that was years ago. So you're immediately thinking that I've gotta run
Speaker:to the liquor store and get Michello for the
Speaker:weekend. It's really how they wanted you to think. And then you've
Speaker:got you know, relax with a glass of red, whatever.
Speaker:And so somebody is encouraging this type of
Speaker:thinking. And so is that the conversation you and I
Speaker:had? Yes. Mhmm. Yeah. Okay. So -- -- what
Speaker:actually happens to you is it really actually helping
Speaker:you relax? Yeah. In the in, like, what is your
Speaker:what is your next day actually like? What
Speaker:is and so that's really And then if you understand that
Speaker:learning the science around what actually hell goes on in the body
Speaker:and your brain, when you put that in there, then you
Speaker:can also give yourself permission to rethink it
Speaker:because of your new information that you've learned. So it's the
Speaker:same thing as I, you know, help people with
Speaker:the making this season of life, right, the prime of
Speaker:life? and living it with gusto and thriving instead
Speaker:of sitting on the sidelines and decaying, it's not really giving yourself
Speaker:permission to question what am I
Speaker:actually believing, and what do I actually want for this season of my
Speaker:life? And am I buying into somebody
Speaker:else's version of what the season of my life should
Speaker:be like? Yeah. Exactly. And,
Speaker:you know, it's again, if you look at the majority of the people
Speaker:and use Yeah. I think it's safe to say
Speaker:that most people are not pursuing the dreams after they hit the the
Speaker:60 mark. Right? They settle in
Speaker:and, you know, you know, you look at I mean,
Speaker:there's I'm not judging. I I I really don't wanna be judgmental,
Speaker:but, I mean, it's not hard to look at people and say, they can't be
Speaker:happy. But, by the way, they look, or there's a way
Speaker:they're they're slowly moving around or you
Speaker:know, it's like we all have the choice to
Speaker:say, look. I'm I was overweight. I don't mind
Speaker:saying I was overweight, and I wasn't feeling great, you know,
Speaker:4 or 5 years ago, probably 4 years ago. and
Speaker:I did something about it, not only because someone asked me to, but once
Speaker:someone asked me to do some exercise on a bicycle, I then
Speaker:started thinking about other things. And then, you know, as you
Speaker:go, you have conversations with people like you, and you ask me, well,
Speaker:really, what's the thing with the alcohol here? You know what? Jeez.
Speaker:I don't know. You know, I thought I you know, it's just like you just
Speaker:raised the question. And then I started thinking about that, and I you
Speaker:know, so I said, I'm I was gonna make a decision to stop
Speaker:drinking for a period of time. And now it's
Speaker:I've gone past that period of time, but I've
Speaker:learned that I don't need what I thought I needed on a
Speaker:Friday late afternoon at 5 o'clock with
Speaker:a martini glass and a shaker, but we'll
Speaker:leave it at that. I don't need that anymore. So I can now pour
Speaker:a whatever. Seltzer with a
Speaker:splash of lime in it and feel just
Speaker:as relaxed, if not more so, because I don't have to worry about, you
Speaker:know, can I drink too much and
Speaker:not fall asleep or be too tired to go out or
Speaker:if I'm out, I don't have to worry about driving back home.
Speaker:So just the little things like that have made a change, let
Speaker:alone, you know, feeling better. So, you know, I think
Speaker:they the thought that I would have is if you've
Speaker:ever thought about, you know, could you live without it? You know, try it for
Speaker:90 days and see what happens. 30 days may not be enough.
Speaker:90 days is a different story. Let alone 7 years. Right?
Speaker:Right. But it's the thing. And, again, just like with
Speaker:what we're telling ourself about this particular season of our life,
Speaker:and what we're telling ourselves about alcohol or what we're telling ourselves about
Speaker:foods. Right? It's really the awareness. An
Speaker:awareness is the key. So by recognizing
Speaker:And giving yourself and, again, I really feel like the key
Speaker:to flipping the script, whether it's around what you can do as you age,
Speaker:whether it's around alcohols role in your life, whether it's
Speaker:around being physically active or not being physically active,
Speaker:it's really more around letting giving yourself
Speaker:permission. I really think that's the key. Is giving yourself permission
Speaker:to question what you currently
Speaker:believe. It doesn't mean that you're gonna change your mind
Speaker:about what you currently believe. But if you don't give yourself
Speaker:permission to question it, you won't bring in that awareness
Speaker:of would I actually choose this again?
Speaker:and letting yourself decide that. And I think, again, that comes in too with
Speaker:unless You're someone that's in a business role where every
Speaker:quarter you have to have business goals, and they want you to know what are
Speaker:your goals and what are your plans. But depending on what you're
Speaker:doing for work and in your life, you're
Speaker:not used to questioning okay. What am I gonna do in
Speaker:the next 3 months? Well, after you get to a certain age again, it's like
Speaker:that. You go to college, you get the job, you have the kids. Okay. That's
Speaker:it. unless you have a job that requires you to make goals, we don't need
Speaker:any more goals. Right? Right. I think it's like, that's it. We're
Speaker:done. We finished all the schooling. We finished all the same. We're just gonna show
Speaker:up now. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. But it doesn't really work
Speaker:that way. We don't actually stay the same.
Speaker:We are either growing or we're declining. Mhmm.
Speaker:I love it. Yeah. I totally agree. So
Speaker:I I've gotta ask you, Deb. So you left the corporate
Speaker:world. Were you ever in sales?
Speaker:Well, Not in the sense of I earned a commission.
Speaker:Okay. So what kind of sales? I was in sales all the
Speaker:time. Alright. Because I was a flight attendant, And
Speaker:I was telling you on the idea that your bag
Speaker:had to go an overhead bin. or I was selling you on
Speaker:the idea that it needed to go underneath your seat. Mhmm. Or at
Speaker:the time, when I first started it, I was selling you on the idea that
Speaker:you actually had to turn phone up. Right.
Speaker:Yeah. Or I was telling you on the idea that
Speaker:that section over your seat is full,
Speaker:and everyone owns the whole plane, not just you in that section, so you
Speaker:might have to move your belts off back a little bit to put your back
Speaker:somewhere. So I was selling all the -- Absolutely. Yes. And
Speaker:I I you know, when I asked you the question, I was thinking,
Speaker:of that everybody is selling. But in this particular thought and as servers,
Speaker:you know, just you're trying to drive revenue, right,
Speaker:for the airline industry, whatever it is. Right? If you're trying to
Speaker:serve an additional beverage or something. There's those
Speaker:things going on too. But what did you
Speaker:when you got into coaching, Did you realize
Speaker:the selling, you know, going out and finding your
Speaker:clients? Did you realize that was going to be part of the business? Or what
Speaker:was your on that. I did realize I
Speaker:was gonna be part of the business. However,
Speaker:You know how my brain does that thing. Right? The comedian that it
Speaker:is? Yeah. It's a it's a very
Speaker:funny brain. -- my way. it actually got in my way a lot,
Speaker:and it still gets in my way. It's
Speaker:it's it's a consistent practicing telling
Speaker:myself, yes. This might feel uncomfortable until it no
Speaker:longer feels uncomfortable. And it's
Speaker:okay. I can handle it. Yep.
Speaker:But instead of but it's also that, like,
Speaker:teaching myself that, of course, my brain is gonna think
Speaker:that, and nothing has gone wrong because it had that thought.
Speaker:And so that's kind of why I started kinda describing it as a stand up
Speaker:comedian. Right? And it's, like, the inner stand up comedian,
Speaker:And it because it's really not and it's that comedian, that
Speaker:negativity bias part of it. So you can train it, and you
Speaker:can teach it. to be the comedian
Speaker:that is cheering you on or the comedian that is, like, the
Speaker:one that makes fun of you while you're sitting in the audience. Right? Right?
Speaker:So it's like it's gonna do either way. It's gonna
Speaker:talk to you either way. And if you understand that that negativity bias
Speaker:is there, But if you also understand that
Speaker:you have total control of being able to change your
Speaker:brain's neuro pathways, by
Speaker:what you think and believe about yourself or about the
Speaker:circumstance or about the situation. So you can literally And I
Speaker:think that's another part of what will help make sales easy
Speaker:and have that dignity side. Yeah. Beautiful.
Speaker:Yeah. So the mind I mean, it's it's such a
Speaker:crucial factor. Right? It's not just saying. I
Speaker:mean, saying gives us the chance to put something into practice,
Speaker:but we really need to work at convincing
Speaker:ourselves for I mean, this this idea where people say, I'll fake it
Speaker:until I make it. But you have to eventually believe
Speaker:You can't just fake it and expect that people are not picking
Speaker:up on the fakery because we do.
Speaker:Right? We're we're fairly intelligent beings. And we can tell when
Speaker:someone's saying they're happy and they're not really happy.
Speaker:Right? Or they're saying they feel fine when they don't really feel fine. We pick
Speaker:up the signals. So it can pick up the fake until you
Speaker:make it. But so the when you realize
Speaker:that the mind was playing this game with you where you said it was the
Speaker:the negative comedian. What what helped you
Speaker:get through that? Was it just the learning how to talk to yourself
Speaker:and believe, or did you read a lot, or did you talk to
Speaker:people to become better at the selling? Because you're really
Speaker:good at it. Okay. I actually did all of
Speaker:it. But the first the part that made it okay. So
Speaker:first, I understood. Alright. It's my brain telling me something.
Speaker:that's causing me to feel this discomfort. And
Speaker:what would make it easier for me to feel more comfortable?
Speaker:And so by taking the focus off of me, I'm
Speaker:putting the focus on what did the person in front of me actually want?
Speaker:So by really learning how to listen and
Speaker:ask questions about them and not me. So
Speaker:bringing myself into that state of awareness with the other
Speaker:person, and it was really the same skills and
Speaker:then I applied on the airplane. But when
Speaker:I first did it, but when I first did it, I was like, yeah. But
Speaker:I don't get it. Well, I like, this is just a regulation. not making it
Speaker:up, but people would be extremely upset.
Speaker:And it wasn't until I stepped back
Speaker:and was like, oh, wait. First of all, every person on this plane is not
Speaker:here because they're going on vacation. Mhmm. Right? Like,
Speaker:you know, you had the I had that facade. Right? Oh, but people only fly
Speaker:because they're going on vacation. What's the problem? Why they're so miserable? Right? Like, I
Speaker:was like right.
Speaker:So it was really more okay. Wait. what
Speaker:did they have to go through to get to that seat?
Speaker:And it really changed after September 11th, what people had to go through to get
Speaker:to that seat. But even before that, you had to pack your bag. You
Speaker:had to leave the house on time. You had to hope that the line wasn't
Speaker:actually that long. You had to like, all these steps And so by the
Speaker:time they get to the seat, they're like, oh, I
Speaker:made it. And then you're saying, oh, PS, you need to turn off your phone
Speaker:and put you back in the overhead, then put on your seat belt. Like, right.
Speaker:Like so, of course, they're gonna look at you. Like, can
Speaker:I just have a minute to breathe? Right.
Speaker:So it wasn't until I taught myself
Speaker:to realize the other person's perspective.
Speaker:then I was that that job became easier. Yeah. And it's the same thing. So
Speaker:then it again, it took that, like, Okay. How can I take what I learned
Speaker:all these years and teach myself?
Speaker:Of course, it's gonna be uncomfortable till it's no longer uncomfortable.
Speaker:Yep. And then what how can I
Speaker:put myself in the person's shoes that I'm talking to? Yeah. And that's where the
Speaker:I mean, I'm saying that's where the money is, but that's where where the money
Speaker:is figuratively and literally. Is that
Speaker:you you you really hit the nail on the head is that when we
Speaker:stop thinking about ourselves and we think about
Speaker:when someone's making a decision, what other decisions are they making?
Speaker:I'm asking them to make a decision for me, but they may be making
Speaker:other decisions Right? They may be budgeting money
Speaker:for other things. What is going through their mind? What's
Speaker:gone through my mind? in similar situations. And then
Speaker:it helps us to relate to them better. Right? Is that part of what you
Speaker:do? That's part of what I do, but I also
Speaker:Every time because I do have ADHD. Okay?
Speaker:So my brain, it does not like
Speaker:rejection. Like, there's a thing when someone has ADHD. I'm not gonna go
Speaker:into the science behind it right now, but it really
Speaker:rejection is, like, really intense for a person's brain
Speaker:with ADHD. So before I have conversations,
Speaker:I will literally go into myself And if I'm in public
Speaker:and a person could see me, I don't have to close my eyes to do
Speaker:it. But I can think into myself, take in some breath, I
Speaker:really focus on what's my intent here. What do I actually want?
Speaker:How can I bring myself to this present? and then help me
Speaker:just be present in this moment. So I do things first
Speaker:to prepare my own mind mentally, so I have, again,
Speaker:my own self awareness, and I have my own radical
Speaker:self acceptance. And that helps me
Speaker:before I show up. Yeah. Now that does not mean
Speaker:that that comedian in my head doesn't win sometimes. Right.
Speaker:Right. because it's just because I have the tools and the skills,
Speaker:I'm on my brain is also doing exactly what the brain is designed to do.
Speaker:So therefore, I'm gonna have my own moments. Yep.
Speaker:And so and I'm gonna show up how I want to,
Speaker:and sometimes I'm gonna not show up I want to. Yep. But I'm --
Speaker:So what do you okay. I'm sorry. No. That's okay. But I'm also
Speaker:never going to I call it leave on the
Speaker:judges' robe. I'm gonna always take it off and
Speaker:put it on the scientist's lab coat.
Speaker:Like, I might not notice right away when I put on the judge's robe.
Speaker:However, as soon as I notice it, I have the habit of oh, wait. I
Speaker:gotta take this outfit off, and I need to put on this one
Speaker:instead. And so the scientist part or
Speaker:even Sherlock Holmes, doctor Watson kind of concept, that's kind of what I play in
Speaker:my head because I love I loved all those shows and series. So
Speaker:I will oh, wait. I need to become more like Sherlock or Doctor Watson
Speaker:right now. Not, like, I'm not gonna diss
Speaker:diminish the lady because I didn't I was gonna say not like judge Judy, but
Speaker:I never really watched that that often. I just know the turn, like, right, I
Speaker:don't even have any idea what she's actually like. So I can't, like you know?
Speaker:No offense to judge Judy if you're listening. Yeah. Exactly.
Speaker:Right? But it's like that. it's like realizing, do I have
Speaker:on the judge's robe, and can I take it off?
Speaker:Right. And so you're basically saying, don't judge
Speaker:yourself when you show up in a way that isn't ideal,
Speaker:and then you start analyzing putting the lab coat on starting to
Speaker:analyze, well, why do I feel this way? What's going through
Speaker:me right now to make me feel like, you know, making calls
Speaker:is a waste of time or calling this person, they wanna be interested in
Speaker:what's making me say that. Is that kind of what you're thinking? Yes.
Speaker:Exactly. That's exactly it. And so if you can so for
Speaker:me, I have I have this love of learning, but
Speaker:I also have lot of curiosity,
Speaker:and I also have a a zest is one of my,
Speaker:like, strengths. So that's how I can, like, think of this stuff as,
Speaker:like, the comedian. I come I need to put platefulness in it.
Speaker:Mhmm. So then I also the oxygen mask stuff,
Speaker:that little scenario. Right? Yeah. I do have it on the side of my desk.
Speaker:I actually have one. This is visible, and I keep it. And are you
Speaker:lying? Here we go. so I have it readily accessible.
Speaker:Alright. She's showing the oxygen mask, and it is yellow
Speaker:with a big warning sign on it. Like, put it on first, Glenn.
Speaker:but then I also have these, my lab
Speaker:glasses. Okay. My lab glasses. Okay. Lab glasses.
Speaker:Okay. Right. Yellow? So, see, Yeah. So for me,
Speaker:though, that helps me, and I
Speaker:need visuals around me. Mhmm. So I have learned
Speaker:to understand myself. Yeah. And what's gonna help
Speaker:me when I know I'm having that moment? And that's really what
Speaker:helps. So good. Debbie,
Speaker:this is really great stuff. And, you know, it doesn't surprise me
Speaker:that You know, when you look at the emotional intelligence that you've
Speaker:obviously worked at over the past number of years, right,
Speaker:where you met this life coach and They talked to you about
Speaker:flipping the script, and then you just kept going. Right? You
Speaker:didn't stop analyzing and questioning and so forth. So
Speaker:it not only went from your, you know, your choice of
Speaker:beverages to if you're gonna start your own business, if
Speaker:you're gonna have a podcast, it goes right down to the
Speaker:sales thing and, you know, using the visuals and say,
Speaker:hey. I'm a person that I probably could use some visuals here to help me
Speaker:out. So These little details, right, are all
Speaker:it's all part of being self aware, which is really a cool
Speaker:thing. And it has right. If you have self
Speaker:acceptance, self awareness, and then a
Speaker:mindset of more like a scientist.
Speaker:That's really gonna support you with your sales. Yep.
Speaker:It's also gonna support you in being happier in life overall.
Speaker:Yeah. It's not like yeah. Right.
Speaker:I mean, people I mean, instead of like, for instance, if
Speaker:you've you haven't flipped the script yet. What was the name of your
Speaker:podcast? Aging flipped. Okay. If you haven't
Speaker:flipped your aging yet. If you haven't however, I would
Speaker:say If you haven't flipped your aging because your aging flipped, I wanted to put
Speaker:in a plug for your podcast. But if you haven't done that and say you're
Speaker:now at an age of Whatever. Pick the number.
Speaker:And you say things like, well, I'm too old because I'm this number.
Speaker:And my thinking is, what will you say 5 years from now
Speaker:when you look back at what you said today that you
Speaker:could have been doing for the next 5 years that you didn't
Speaker:because you said I was too old then. So don't wait
Speaker:another 5 years. Right? So what's how do you how do you
Speaker:interpret that? What I just said. I
Speaker:exactly like that because you're never because I was fifty 9 when I
Speaker:exited the drinking
Speaker:life. When I decided, okay,
Speaker:alcohol and I are done. We're complete. It's time to break up.
Speaker:So I was 59 and made that change. Yep. I was
Speaker:also 40 when I became a flight attendant.
Speaker:So it's like no. Most people wouldn't be starting so
Speaker:this is literally Right. That's a different thing to start at age 40. I just
Speaker:had to they had to register there for a sec. -- job. Like, I had
Speaker:a desk job where I was an administrative assistant. They didn't even call it that
Speaker:then. They called the secretary. That's, like, how about, like, right?
Speaker:But then I went from that to flight attendant in my forties.
Speaker:Yep. And then I went from that to
Speaker:deciding, okay, it's now time for me to be done with flying,
Speaker:but I'm not gonna be sitting in the I don't have a porch anyway, but
Speaker:if I did. sitting on the porch in the rocking chair, I
Speaker:want to do this now. I wanna take all of my experience
Speaker:and my expertise and I want to help people just like myself,
Speaker:who I used to think I was too old, who are
Speaker:telling themselves they're too old, but with the way
Speaker:things are in science is, what if we have 30 what if I had 30
Speaker:30 more years left? Right. I mean, it's like
Speaker:I just turned 66 this month. What if I still have
Speaker:30 more years left? What am I gonna do? Yeah. I
Speaker:mean, you did a lot from 36 to 66. Right. I did.
Speaker:Right. So you don't you wouldn't wish those days away.
Speaker:No. Yeah. I'm I'm so on the same page with you on this.
Speaker:It's real. So that's what I mean. So really giving yourself permission
Speaker:to ask yourself So what do I want now?
Speaker:Yeah. But on the other hand,
Speaker:I'll be the other comedian. because you don't wanna just
Speaker:not do anything saying I can do it later. I'll do it
Speaker:someday. Right? There's always that concerned
Speaker:that someday never comes as the song says. Right?
Speaker:That's a habit that you have developed. So you've
Speaker:that you've developed that habit of telling yourself. I'll start tomorrow.
Speaker:I'll start on Monday. Right? Like, think think about the diet
Speaker:mentality. Oh, wait. But I'm gonna eat this today because I'm gonna start on
Speaker:Monday. Right? Like -- Right. -- if you've ever decided, you're gonna lose
Speaker:weight. that's the first thing you do to yourself. Okay. Let's have a big pig
Speaker:out gourd because tomorrow, this is what we're gonna do. Right?
Speaker:I know you're laughing. because you've done it.
Speaker:I had to move away from the mic. You were spying on me
Speaker:tomorrow now. And then tomorrow comes,
Speaker:And what do you do? Your brain shows up. Like, a medium shows up. Oh,
Speaker:no. Let's do it another. Let's do it tomorrow. Right.
Speaker:Yep. So it's really just have it. buy a
Speaker:bakery, and so you can't miss out on the bakery.
Speaker:And, again, that's coming from the stories -- Yeah. -- that
Speaker:your brain is telling you, so it's about your mindset. And it's the same
Speaker:thing with sales. It's that story that your brain is
Speaker:telling you in that moment when it's time. I was going
Speaker:to say pick up the phone, but we don't yeah. We do actually hold him
Speaker:in our hand. I was gonna say it's not like the phone when I was
Speaker:a kid. Right? Right. But when it's time to make that phone call,
Speaker:or let's say you're not doing phone calls, you're doing even a podcast episode,
Speaker:or you're doing whatever you're gonna post on social media. When it's
Speaker:time to do that, your brain is gonna do the same thing
Speaker:that it has done with the diet, so to speak. So
Speaker:if you can catch yourself, how often am I doing that in my
Speaker:life? How often am I telling myself? I have this practice habit. I'll
Speaker:start whenever. but not right now.
Speaker:What can you do to stop that behavior right now in
Speaker:small, tiny increments? Right.
Speaker:Right. And even, you know, like you mentioned, it may take years. Right? But
Speaker:you're making progress, and I saw something
Speaker:read something whatever about the journey, right? When you're on the road to success, don't
Speaker:make success the
Speaker:outcome. the success. Right? Make the journey the success because you can enjoy every day
Speaker:versus being miserable every day
Speaker:and waiting for the outcome that may or may not come.
Speaker:And then it's like so I just spent 10 years trying to be better,
Speaker:and it didn't work. what a waste. Instead, it could be,
Speaker:I am working on being my better self every day for 10
Speaker:years, and I feel great about it. And if things follow the way,
Speaker:I hope they do, great. If they don't, something else will come up or whatever.
Speaker:So that's kinda why you view it or thoughts? that's
Speaker:exactly how it'd be. And thinking of it like you know, I don't know if
Speaker:you've heard you know, that that's where the penny if you say if you double
Speaker:the penny every day -- Yeah. Yeah. -- where you'd at the end of 30
Speaker:days, if you did it consistent, you'd have over $5,000,000.
Speaker:Yep. But if you do it every other day, you'd have
Speaker:$20,000. There's a huge difference. But
Speaker:if the reason I like to focus on the penny is because it's small and
Speaker:it's tiny. So if you can allow yourself what is
Speaker:one thing that I can do 1% better
Speaker:today than I did yesterday, while I'm
Speaker:enjoying the journey now. Instead of
Speaker:thinking, I'll be happy when. Then that
Speaker:allows you, first of all, to understand the compoundness of consistent
Speaker:small things. And on top of it, allowing
Speaker:yourself to meet yourself where you are so that you can
Speaker:enjoy the journey. Yeah. Beautiful. Great stuff, Debbie Talbert.
Speaker:Where can people find more of your
Speaker:smiling, happy, brilliant, lab
Speaker:coat wearing personality. Alright.
Speaker:So the plant best place to find me is atjumpseatcoaching.com,
Speaker:which is the seat that the flight attendants used to sit in. That's I name
Speaker:my business at. So it's jonseycoaching.com.
Speaker:Perfect. Well, you're amazing, and thank you
Speaker:so much for sharing your insight, your wealth
Speaker:of great thoughts here today. It's you have an abundance of mindset, and
Speaker:thank you so much for sharing. all that abundance with us today, Debbie.
Speaker:Okay. Thank you, Harry. I really appreciate it. I love being
