Friendships Through Firestorms With Kelley Doyle

spk_0:   0:03
I'm carry Bret and you're listening to shot at love. Isn't it time you took a shot at love? Took a shot on yourself? Believe you're worthy of true love? Is there a more effective way to date? Can you find? Hell, yeah. I'm gonna show you how it's done. Um, carry Bret. And today we have my B f f. Kelly Doyle. Who's gonna be our guest? Welcome, Kelly. Thank you. Carry. Very excited to be here. I'm excited to have you. So Kelly and I were basically Kate Nalley back in the day when we got divorce with young Children in their early thirties and we relied on each other. We spend holidays together. We sort of

spk_1:   0:49
became our own version of a family.

spk_0:   0:51
We did. When you loo when you have loss and something shows up when the door closes, a window opens. And for me, you're a saving grace. In the time that I needed a wing girl, a best friend.

spk_1:   1:05
Well, I feel the same way about you when I think, you know, you never know exactly what life's gonna put in front of you, but it's sort of how you endure it and get through it. And there are gifts. Um, sometimes in the worst chapters of your life. And our friendship is definitely one of them. And we've been through a lot together. We certainly have. Um, this great program that you've created is just the latest chapter.

spk_0:   1:28
So, Kelly, I just want to talk about your history. Um, where you're from, how many Children that you have. You went to Harvard. You were actually you graduated with high honors, and you were actually the school. Marshall, I

spk_1:   1:42
have a baton. Have a special

spk_0:   1:43
EMI and Harvard baton, but so amazing. It's sort of fun. So fun.

spk_1:   1:48
I don't know if that's how I define me now. That was a while ago, but, yes, I'm a mom. Um, I'm a wife. Um, I grew up in hang. Um, and I can recall going off to college and saying, you know, not that there wasn't there wasn't anything wrong with him, But I said, I'm going to go off on an adventure and go somewhere very far from here. And it's so ironic that, you know, I've ended up 1/2 mile from where I started. Right? So I work. Um, I've had a lot of different professional chapters worked in TV, worked in public relation, stunned, you know, in House public relations for different kind of companies. Had a really fun chapter at a luxury hotel in Boston. Was a little bit like being on stage or off stage. If you're either front of the house or back of the house. It was definitely a professional adventure.

spk_0:   2:37
That's very cool. Your Harvard. You meet this guy at Harvard and you get married and you have all these Children. And then you end up having to basically kidnap your Children, put them on the plane with pretend to go to a wedding, can have your three very young Children and managed to put a dog taken cross country show up at your parent's doorstep with $42 in the bank. That's pretty

spk_1:   3:02
close to what happened, although I actually got on the plane with the Children without my husband because we were going to a wedding of a close friend a time I was living in Arizona, I came back here. My life had been My personal life had been slowly disintegrating. My husband became profoundly mentally ill. It was it's amazing how much progress we've made and how we talk about mental health issues right now. But even at that time in when was mid to thousands like 4 4005 there wasn't a lot of dialogue about mental illness. So I was with someone. Had been with him for 15 years, you know, Knew him at age 20. We're in college. Ah, he went on to graduate school Gun N B A. We lived in New York City, were the first and her friends to be able to buy our own place. He was a highly functioning person, had a very productive job. We had a very normal life and our lives imploded because he became profoundly ill, literally ended up in a padded cell. And then there was a five year chapter of trying to put a Band Aid on it in a variety of different ways and trying to protect him. And, well, if he can't be a 10 and attend for him was a very highly functioning person. Maybe he could be a seven. Maybe a seven would be OK. And I went through this process of settling and bargaining with myself of just how much could I tolerate in this change in an implosion, I was lucky to have a lot of support and resources and family and come from on the daughter of a physician and had a lot of help. And they're a lot of doctors, and a lot of resource is, um, but basically got to a point where it was basically a dangerous situation and he was clearly very unhealthy. But

spk_0:   4:51
even at that time,

spk_1:   4:52
I don't know, being Irish Catholic in from the family I was from divorce wasn't really part of my language. I know you can really to that carry Bret, but I never considered divorcing him until after I got on the plane and then a number of other information came out. I mean, there was a hidden gambling problem. There were people showing up at the door in the middle of the night. There were, um, receipts from elicit establishment said, you know, I don't want a detail, but all of this stuff is thrown at me, and my father gave me the best advice in my life, and he said, I think you need to make a decision to not make a decision and So I sat in my parents house with my kids. We had a weekend back bag packed for a wedding. That was all I had. And you're right. I had $40 in my checking account. And as all this, you know, bad information came in from across the country from where he was in Arizona, just truly. How terrible situation Waas. I took my dad's advice and I took a deep breath and give myself a little time to get to the decision that I need to get to, which was at that chapter of my life was over, and I was never going back. It's

spk_0:   5:59
interesting, you know, we've come so far, but we forget about that time where you know, no one gets married thinking that they're going to get divorced. You know, no one goes to the altar and decides to do this. And you pay all this money to have the big wedding, um, to go through the things that we've gone through. And I remember when I got when I was getting divorced, the first person that I told was my dad and he was he gave me the best advice is well, he was like, I just want my old girl back

spk_1:   6:32
And you know what? My dad said the same thing to me was so, so funny. You just said that. But when I was at my friend's wedding and I wasn't with my husband, and I remember dancing on the dance floor and having a great time, even though all the stuff was blowing up with a lot of old friends and my parents at the end of the night said, We haven't seen you seem this happy in so long and I think that that's you know, it is an investment in a relationship when you get married and you're willing to to carry a lot of weight and make a lot of sacrifices to make it work, maybe some more than others. But I know you and I both in entering marriage. It was a very, very serious commitment, and it took an awful lot, um, two tips to make that break.

spk_0:   7:15
Absolutely an easy decision and also getting divorced with a baby. You know, people used to say, you know, you're getting divorced with the baby. Yeah, because it's that, you know, obviously something is not working and um So I remember I didn't tell anyone for months and months and months, and I remember did this one cover and I was being photographed. I was actually being filmed for chronicle, and I put on my wedding ring so that I could couldn't continue this facade because people just didn't get divorced with young Children when, you know, in their early thirties. So thankfully we had each other that we could, you know, take the kids out to dinner and, um, you know, someone could read a child a book while the other one was crying into their chili Or, you know, not just right. And then we ended

spk_1:   8:06
up sort of filling those times in the week that I think of typically being family time. I mean, I can remember we would make our runs to our favorite Mexican restaurant. You know, mid afternoon on Sunday and think of you know what that time is in most people's lives, it's family time. It's when you're hanging at home

spk_0:   8:22
watching the Patriots Patriots, whatever it is

spk_1:   8:24
you're doing. It's family time, and we didn't have that traditional final form. And so we created our new version, became Day an alley

spk_0:   8:32
we did and then more kids. So then years later, about eight years later, after my relationship that ended, you know, it was like I was back in the queue as the single person tagging along with you and your husband, Walter, and you created friends. Giving that I thought was just the kind of thing that it was just not Carrie's back on gender. Only that wasn't under back in the day. But, you know, that was a hard blow for me and, um, friendship

spk_1:   9:04
so important. And, um,

spk_0:   9:07
yeah, I just friends giving. Be thankful for your friends. One of the

spk_1:   9:11
things I had the hardest time with when I got to force. And maybe it is because we were a little ahead of the curve. Age wise, we're in our, you know, early thirties. I was mid thirties is it was very isolating, and people saw some side. Everything's all life and what their social life was supposed to be in such black and white kind of terms. And I can recall to really close friends that I set up going out on this group dinner and there were eight. There were four couples or a people. It hadn't occurred to them that I could go because I was alone. And so there was. It was just really strange, like how much structure there was. Two socializing and just coming where I came from. And I know you two now in terms of where what you've been through, it just changes your attitude in mind about friendship, and you you don't have to just invite couples. I'm always really big on that. Like we go out to dinner. We're doing something socially. Invite my friends. I don't care if it's nine. I don't care if it's not number. If it's an even number.

spk_0:   10:07
I remember when I went through, you know, it wasn't a second divorce, but I felt like it to me, even though we weren't married. I remember basically crying on the phone to you, and I said, You know, no one invites me to go anywhere And you said, Well, you know, Carrie, you have isolated yourself to take the time that you need to heal and get stronger. But when you're ready to come back, people will start inviting you places. Welcome you with open arms, and that really helped me and gave me a lot of hope. Because no matter what, you were the one doing wellness checks on me. You were the one as disappointed as you were that I couldn't pull it together. And you wish that I could have just, you know, not have all that heartbreak. You never left my

spk_1:   10:49
side. Well, I don't I wasn't disappointed in you. I was concerned. And I just, um, like your dad said to you after your first divorce, I wanted my old carry back. And I know all your gifts and all your strengths. And I was seeing you really getting destroyed by something and having four time and an ability to sort of work through it. And I just wanted you to know that there was going to be another chapter. I mean, you and I have had enough experiences in our lives that you always know. There's the next thing that's coming, and you can't lose sight of that right now when you're having a tough everyone has tough chapters and

spk_0:   11:25
we don't know what's gonna happen to

spk_1:   11:26
us, and it's like we don't know. We don't know what things are gonna happen. Tow us, but It's just sort of how you endure them and how you how you move through them. You're not toe even get beyond them. I mean, I'm learning through just things I've been going through lately that it isn't. Sometimes you can't get over something, but it's learning howto work through it,

spk_0:   11:45
right? How to manage it. Yeah, and make progress, right? And how you taken in perfect situation, You don't necessarily make it perfect, but you move forward in a positive direction. Ironically, it was one this infamous weekend in Nantucket where I took a friend of ours over to Nantucket. And originally I was gonna have my boyfriend go and she was gonna come and stay with us at our friend's guest house. And something told me to say, my boyfriend, Why don't you stay behind with our puppy? Because I just felt like she had lost her mom and she was still having a hard time with that. And I could see someone who is suffering in silence and hiding it as well as I did, or as well as you did. And so I decided to start working what? On that weekend, and then I started to build her up. Two weeks later we went back and within 36 hours she found the man of her dreams. And she was someone who said, You've got two, right? You've got to help other people like you helped

spk_1:   12:50
Whoa, me, You know, cause yeah, it's a program and you can measure success. And she found a guy, but really it started as support. That's what it WASI mean. You're an artist. You have an established business, your photographer. You have all these gifts and you've, you know, taking your skills and created this very successful business. But to me, this was this became sparked. This was like a creative spark, and it's become programming. But it started as a lesson in support and teaching people about empowerment,

spk_0:   13:21
reaching women, you know? Yes, there their

spk_1:   13:24
tools and strategies on how to successfully date on this platform. And that's how great, because we all want a happy ending. Whatever that happy ending is like, whatever we see is what we want for a future. If this can help you get there great. But what I think the beauty and your program and why it resonates with so many people, is that it teaches you how to be strong on the inside and sort of reflect your best self. Which is really ironic when you think that you're a photographer and you're looking at the external beauty and what's on the outside, and that's the whole like leading photo thing and all of your strategies of how it's so important to sort of draw people in. But you're drawing the men then to something that's actually even more important and more value and what's on the inside. And when you pulled the people together that you've helped through your program, that was sort of one of my biggest takeaways is that all of these people, they feel better about themselves like this was an internal boost. Its like a boost of confidence. And that's a really

spk_0:   14:22
great thing, right? Here are today's tender tips Number one Dress for success. Be the best dressed person at the party when it comes to over dressing or under dressing, I always lean towards over dressing. At least I was going to be the star of my own dating scene. Be your best packaged version of yourself looking good and powers you so go for it. Remember to be a list writer. Make lists of your dating progress. Look back as the months go on and the dates add up, you'll be surprised how far you've come and how much you've learned. Number three. Surround yourself with friends. Dating is challenging, so don't be afraid to lean on your friends. That's what they're there for. In orderto have friends. You need to be a friend. Don't forget to be a good friend yourself, even in your time of need. Never underestimate the value of friendship. Number four. Keep text short and sweet. Always be upbeat and positive and use Kelly's famous line. Be easy, breezy and if you aren't easy, breezy on we can always present number five. Time is the most precious commodity that we have. Dating is a commitment of time. You need to make time for what's important if you want. Change number six. Don't wait until you're confident to show up. Show up until you're confident. Number seven. If you want people to value your time, you have to put a value on it. Remember that you're the prize who's always in high demand, and we're here with Kelly Doyle so we were talking about how the struggle Israel. But how? Obstacles, actually what? I'd like to reframe it and say obstacles are actually opportunities

spk_1:   16:33
they are. And you can use all kind of strategies toe Get through those difficult times, um, some you create yourself in, some are inflicted either through your workplace. Sir, I was just thinking about you were talking about me earlier, and I was always all dressed up, and it was so funny because after I got divorced not to go back to work, I don't work for seven years. And the first workplace that I worked in just had a very, very strict dress code. And when I look back on it, it was such a gift, because every single day I had to literally hot rollers, makeup, jewelry, high heels get all decked out. But it it made me feel better about myself. But I was always, like my most package version of myself. And if I hadn't had to go back to work, and I did to get health insurance for my kids and, you know, figure out all these practical problems, but if I if I didn't, it wasn't being enforced. I would have been running around in my sweat pants, hanging out of Dunkin Donuts and probably showering three times a week. And, you know, I I it

spk_0:   17:33
ended up being a huge gift

spk_1:   17:35
that I had to be my best self every day because someone was making May and I, you know, look in the mirror or go to a meeting. And at least I know it was putting in my best effort, right? And something like that empowers you. There's so many ways you can find sources of empowerment. I hope you get through hard times.

spk_0:   17:51
Absolutely. And, you know, I I always say on my darkest days sometimes just taking a shower was okay. I accomplished something right now. Exactly. I don't look like a homeless person today.

spk_1:   18:02
I'm a list writer. I like to write lists. Some never do it the night before. Sometimes I do it the morning of the day, and I take so much satisfaction and crossing things off a list. So whatever it is, everyone's different as their ways that they make progress. And honestly, I know you're a big mantra. Cow. Um, I'm not so much one, but when I was in my darkest time, literally. All I would say to myself at night before I went to bed was that tomorrow the possibility of being a better day and that was enough. That bar is set pretty low,

spk_0:   18:33
right? I mean, that is a mantra, that's what as a prayer, that's an intention being

spk_1:   18:39
set. I did that for 2.5 years. I had to, unfortunately say it a lot more times than I. What a light. But it was effective in that it allowed me to put an end to that day and move on to the next right with the open mind and

spk_0:   18:54
hope. It's really cool about hope, right? And that gets shaken out of you pretty quickly when you have so much loss in so much trauma. And I love that idea of getting dressed. You had to get dressed for work. My favorite stories. When you got written up for wearing candy cane swayed,

spk_1:   19:09
I got a I got brought in front of the fashion police at Hotel HR. I had velvet pants. I got hired in December. I had velvet pants that had candy canes, and I had them coupled with the blazer and plows, and I thought I looked very festive and completely work appropriate. I got brought into HR for wearing candy cane pants is they were not appropriate.

spk_0:   19:30
And you try to spend the holiday festive. And they didn't go for that.

spk_1:   19:33
No, they they didn't like that expression of the wardrobe preferred me in a navy or black or gray suit.

spk_0:   19:39
And I think it's great to push it on a date, too. You know, I would come in. You had this ace to call the Technicolor Dreamcoat and make fun of you like you're a Donnie on, you're gonna be a

spk_1:   19:49
rebel. It's not such a problematic way to express yourself there a lot of more dangerous

spk_0:   19:54
or challenging things I could have been doing. This is how I find self expression or, you know, push the envelope. I say, Take it. Yeah, and you know, guys love that. You know, I would always come in. It's a ridiculous coat and crazy over the top earrings or something. And right away they be like, Whoa, you know this. It's a good conversation point. Yeah. You know, bracelets We had that had the expressions on them. What happens with the past.

spk_1:   20:20
Does this bracelet make me look fat? That was I used to have these bracelets. I was a pure person. I was in charge of getting my general manager to meet people, but I was

spk_0:   20:28
literally working

spk_1:   20:29
in a city I'd never worked in. I mean, I'm from Boston, but I had worked in New York on Lee. So I would go to these events where I was responsible for getting him to socialize and he didn't really want Thio. And I would wear these conversations starting bracelets. People would come up to me, complete strangers, and they say What your breeze, let's say And, um you know, one of them said out of my mind back in a minute. Is this bracelet maybe look fat? Um, something. But if you get

spk_0:   20:55
your shit doesn't come in swimming two years. That was

spk_1:   20:57
my favorite one. But with a great all reflected,

spk_0:   21:00
they all had sort of. They were all different reflections of where it

spk_1:   21:03
was in my life at that moment here from this cute stop shopping in Nantucket and I but

spk_0:   21:08
yeah, I wore him

spk_1:   21:09
because I always knew I could walk in any room and someone would start talking to me,

spk_0:   21:12
right? I had one I can't remember. It said it used to be like, you know, like I'm a big deal or something. Like totally ridiculous. Good. That's not who I am. You know, I definitely hide behind the camera for for a reason. But I used to be able to get backstage like it was a backstage pass with it, because do you know

spk_1:   21:28
I am was one of them. That's what was that was. Do

spk_0:   21:30
you know him? Yeah, I got a fire. Don't you know who I am? Right. So when they would stop me at the door, I would just flash the bracelet and they would get a kick out of it. May

spk_1:   21:38
be like All right. You just frankly, scarlet, I don't give a damn. That's another one. There's a whole line was like 30 of these bracelets. All that and brains too,

spk_0:   21:46
So fashion can help you move forward around dating. It's amazing we didn't know it at the time. What we're doing, we're just putting one foot in front of the other. Ah, we didn't have ah, tender tool kit. We didn't have the right way to tender we didn't have tender. We didn't even have cell phones. So,

spk_1:   22:02
you know, we had bracelets. I actually had this crazy. So it was such an early evolution cellphone. It had an antenna. It used to get stuck in my hair and I'll be walking around the hotel. It was a Nextel and had the ability to do walkie talkie. And I hated the walkie talk in all the very operational people at the hotel, we're, like, on and off the walkie talkie all over the property. And I would just get, like, stuck in my hair and I'll be pulling it out so much. I'm much happier with my iPhone right here. But so funny. And now

spk_0:   22:30
So, um, you know, you are, you are a survivor, and you created a job. You created a life. You got married, you blended a family of five Children, and you did it in heels, looking fabulous with a smile on your face, even when you didn't feel your very best. And that's something you have to do when you are participating. My program and are are dating, right? Well, you know, one thing that

spk_1:   22:56
we both dead that I think was really important when we

spk_0:   22:58
were I was, you know, I was

spk_1:   23:02
fine being single in being alone, but was certainly looking for a partner. But I remember you and I both went through this exercise of making a list of what qualities we're looking for. And it's really interesting because the man I ended up marrying, he really he reflects those qualities that I actually wrote, like put pen to paper and I wrote them down and I put him in a drawer. It's not like I lived with this document daily and reviewed it to see if the people I might be meeting or dating, you know, reflected what I had written down. But it wasn't until long after I met him, and it was sort of a done deal when we knew we were going toe, you know, move forward together that I thought back on that list, and he really is a reflection of those qualities. But

spk_0:   23:43
everyone has their own

spk_1:   23:44
list in mind. Whatever those qualities, maybe, but I think it's also about you have to be okay being on your own and you can't ever settle. We talked about that a lot,

spk_0:   23:57
you know. Think about those fools that weren't the one that you know. You would definitely be upset if it didn't work out. But that was a blessing.

spk_1:   24:09
Well, yes, I guess, for me. Um, the thing that's most important is like that the commodity that the commodity that I care about the most that I have the least of his time. So when I was dating, it was like a waste of time. That was what would get me.

spk_0:   24:25
You're so frustrated meeting

spk_1:   24:27
these people and going on these dates and, you know, bargaining with my parents to get them to baby sit my three small Children and

spk_0:   24:33
and you live in tears and you descend

spk_1:   24:35
of having a really bad date a t end of the day. It was about investment in time cause I had no time.

spk_0:   24:41
Right? That's very hard. Yeah, but whether you have three Children, you have to make time. You have to make time. And that's the biggest killer for people. Is that you know that's the biggest cop out number one. I don't have time for this. Right? So you have to make time. Well, if you wanna have a different outcome, you have to make time and put the work in and so that people like I don't have time. I work so much Well, you know, I wrote that I created a new company called the Right Way to Tender. Had a full time job running a studio. I have a teenager. I have a sheep, A doodle like you. Could you have everything the same. And you know, I have a boyfriend. So it is possible you can always

spk_1:   25:22
make time for the things you need to make time for,

spk_0:   25:24
but always can. You may not be

spk_1:   25:26
able to devote as much time as you like, but I can remember. And Walter, my husband's very old fashioned. I would say it really was a courtship, but we

spk_0:   25:35
didn't get

spk_1:   25:36
to see each other often. I mean, I was really busy and I was living at my parentshouse, and he was really busy, and he his work would take him out of state a lot. But it just, um and I remember saying this to you a lot after

spk_0:   25:48
I went through it myself. But enjoy the dance. I hate that. I still love that, saying I used to want to strangle you. threw the phone when you would say what? You want things to move really quickly and you want immediate results. And I just sick, like enjoy that moment in that Billy Liz, Liz that thing. I think it's great. I think it's like one of the most fun things about dating. Just be ready to be at

spk_1:   26:13
ABC like you don't have to be to Z just

spk_0:   26:16
joy. Enjoy the dance. It's fun. It's waiting for that phone call. It's fun waiting. No, it's not. I am. You know, maybe I feel

spk_1:   26:26
that way because I was so limited in my time that that was just my reality. Maybe other people would feel differently, But for

spk_0:   26:31
me, I don't know. Once you that's that's a

spk_1:   26:34
really fun time. When you're getting to know someone and it's turning into a relationship,

spk_0:   26:38
you're the ideal girl. The date Oh yes, you are someone who says, Enjoy the dance. Well, I'm not saying enjoy the

spk_1:   26:45
mind games on definitely dead set against mind games, but I just enjoyed the concept of courtship. And David,

spk_0:   26:51
you are so getting to know each other and not the mountain 53. Well, you know, there's a lot. When you're a single parent

spk_1:   26:59
dating your mid thirties and you have a job, you

spk_0:   27:02
know, there's just a lot of factors

spk_1:   27:04
you have to consider. I didn't actually Walter and even meet my Children for months, you know, and

spk_0:   27:10
I'm not saying that's

spk_1:   27:11
the answer for everybody, but it's for me in my life. That was the way I needed. That was the peace

spk_0:   27:17
that was that which I think take it. Things were, you know, for someone who is living with her parents, which I think is very valuable for people who have that situation. And I know my sister lived, takes a village, it takes a village. My sister lived with my parents. Ah, shut up on our front on my parents front lawn with trash bags of clothes. And she had Grayson was 15 months old and she was pregnant.

spk_1:   27:38
Yeah, it's not easy, and we're lucky whom we can rely on our parents and, ah, multigenerational household is actually a great thing for kids. So whereas it may have at times been challenging for me to be an adult living in that multigenerational household, it was such a great a gift for my kids

spk_0:   27:55
And it was a good for your parents. Your parents? It was a gift. Yeah, I really want for both sides, and that is very common today. But that happens. Yes, but the key take away the right way to tend to take away. Is that you? Never. You never let that impact you. You never allow this situation that you were in, which was a necessity. You needed your parents help to take care of three young Children. Um, you held her value and you knew that you were worthy and that you deserved a great guy and he came in and he is a father to your Children. And you had this dream wedding in your backyard. The only thing that was missing was like Swan's running around on the front lawn. I think it's

spk_1:   28:40
about knowing what you want and knowing what you need and the right way to tender wasn't available to me, but because it hadn't been invented yet. But it's about taking opportunity. You know, you you are creating opportunity for women to make choices and to get out there and meet someone. If that's what they want, it's about taking advantage of that opportunity and making decisions about what you want in your life.

spk_0:   29:04
Right? And taking was yours. So when you met Walter the night that you met Walter, you had a person who had gone through a divorce take you out as a wing girl. And you met your husband because there wasn't a tender at the time. But you were making your own tender right by She adopted may. You're right. Friendship is

spk_1:   29:27
key. It's a key way. We all survived these difficult times, and we rely on our friends, and they help us create our next chapter in our next opportunity.

spk_0:   29:37
So I think that's some valuable advice. Find a wing girl. She doesn't need to be a restaurant. She just needs to be willing. You know, I was lucky enough to have my best friend being a wen girl multiple times in my life. But find a wing girl. There are tons of people out there who are in the same boat. And, you know, it's like strength and numbers. And who has a friend of the one you know, you're gonna I I even say I want to be a wing girl right now because I want to get people to come and listen and share what's working and, um, be out there for new stories.

spk_1:   30:12
Well, I think you and I and anyone who's been in our shoes will always have, ah, special place in our heart for single mothers who are trying to change their lives. And I That's just the way I've rolled since I went through my own chapter. And sometimes you need to have that perspective and understanding

spk_0:   30:27
where you never forget, recognizes you don't ever

spk_1:   30:29
forget. So then you pay it forward and you do it for the next person.

spk_0:   30:31
That's right. So, Kelly, you spoke about how time is such a precious commodity. It's one of the biggest challenges that single mothers have today. Actually, people have more resources than they think, and tender being one of them because it's so fast and available.

spk_1:   30:48
Well, I guess I'm a bit of a dating dinosaurs. I didn't have tender at my disposal, but I'm think about it. A tinder definitely helps you save time. You can filter through all that nonsense. All those bad dates, all those terrible setups. I just didn't exist yet, but I think that it's a wonderful resource for single moms. For people who, for whatever reason, don't have enough time to figure out there dating life more efficiently.

spk_0:   31:15
Excellent. Kelly Doyle. Thank you so much for being here. This is so much fun. I hope to come back real soon. I'm carry Bret. You're next chapter is going to be amazing. And so is in the next episode, Theo.