Love Of Music With Mad Love Music Festival Founder Kathleen Jodka

I'm Carrie Brett, and this is shot at LA. The first motivational show around online dating today's guest is Kathleen Jada. She's an inspiring mother for, and the founder of the mad love music festival. When her husband Dave[inaudible] passed away from cancer. In 2014, she created a musical festival to support future rockers, bring the community together and help heal her family. While honoring her husband, she took a tragic situation and turned it into a trial all for the love of music. And this week's episode, Kathleen will inspire and encourage us to think bigger than we ever imagined while connecting with others more deeply. And Kathleen says, if you live your life, built with mad love, then everything will be okay. You won't want to miss it. So stay tuned, Kathleen dot God knows how to deal with a crisis and how

To navigate through a tragic loss. Six years ago, this mother and wife abruptly lost her beloved husband, musician, and father of her four young children. But Kathleen didn't let this tremendous loss define her, her children or her husband's legacy. She sh certainly didn't lose herself in grief. Instead, Kathleen turned towards her husband's passion music, and she knew it wouldn't be easy, starting a movement and a music festival, but she knew it was possible. Kathleen made up her mind that she would bring the Dave Jada mad love music festival to the people. Every October. She runs this amazing event that honors her husband, his love of music while raising funds to offer young rockers new opportunities. Today, Kathleen is going to share her powerful story. Welcome Kathleen. Thanks so much for being here. Thank you for having me. This is awesome. I'm so, so happy. I mean, you just had this event and I'm so thrilled that you're here. So I've known you a long time. You also grew up in Hingham and a fun fact is that Kathleen is a triplet, which is so cool. You actually were in my brother and sister's grade. And there was something in the water back then because your class was filled with a lot of twins. I think it's pretty rare and so special that you're a triplet. Don't you think? Yeah, it is. In fact then too, with all these twins and triplets floating around, it was, uh, it was interesting. But do you even think of it or now that you're older? Is it, people don't really know that, right? Unless they not so much as we're older, but for share my kids the other day were asking what, um, you know, they're all starting school or I'll just start a school recently. And they were asking, you know, the, these icebreakers

Or teachers were doing icebreakers and asking them what's something about themselves that no one else would know. And so they were asking me what mine used to be. My answer used to be. And I said, I had an easy answer. I could always say that I'm a triplet.

You definitely did not let like three of me hanging around. But, um, so your brother was in my parents' neighborhood, the neighborhood I grew up in and your sister, Liz who's a designer actually helped design my studio when I first opened. And now I have a podcast, which is so fun. And I'm so excited that you're here.

I'm super psyched. Thank you so much for having me.

Yeah. So let's start from the beginning. Tell us about your love story with Dave. How did you two meet?

So we met at work. We were both working in Boston. I was working in the office and he was in sales. So he was, um, on the road and living in Portsmouth, New Hampshire because his territory was Maine, New Hampshire and Vermont. Um, and at the time I was in marketing slash meeting planning. So our favorite event of the year was when the entire Salesforce came back for the, um, annual sales meeting. And it was just a week long of meetings and partying. And we would hit the streets, Boylston street up and down and have events every night. Oh, that sounds fun. It was fun. So I met him at one of those events and I was living in the North end at the time. And our love story, kind of a big part of our love story was that we dated for a few months and then it was February and it was Valentine's day. And he had invited me to come up to Portsmith and I had initially accepted the offer. And then at the last minute I ended up not going and instead sort of breaking up with him. And so he had this huge bouquet of flowers waiting for me and because I wasn't there the next day, he gave them to a toll booth. Um,

Oh my God. It's like a romcom. It's a little old lady at the toll booth who he

We'd become friends with. Cause he used to travel from New Hampshire to Maine every day for work. So he handed them over to her the next day. And she was so excited that she got these flowers and then couple months later we ended up reconnecting. I reached back out and it kind of went from there.

Oh, that's nice. Yeah. So you were meant to be. Yeah. And you mentioned that you had this happy life that was always filled with love and music. That's a big thing to lose, you know? Uh, it sounds like you guys were like the Von Trapp family singers. I'm just kidding.

Well, I am certainly not a singer my next life, but not in this life, but yeah,

I play a mad Pam. I do too. I do have one here. You always need a little jam session afterwards. There we go. Dave loved her rock and he began his finance career, but he never let that get in the way of his music. And he would spend his time playing around the campfire, rocking karaoke at Jamie's and situate and having weekend morning dance parties with your kids. That sounds so fun. He sounds like such a fun guy. Yeah. And is it true that he like won your heart when he serenaded you with Stevie Wonder's sunshine of my life and the rest was history is a true or just an urban legend.

A little bit of both. He already had my heart at that point, but um, he saying you are the sunshine of my life at our wedding while I danced with my dad, which was a surprise to my dad. So it was very special.

Yeah. So glad I wasn't photographing, not because I have a bee bawling in the corner. Yeah. That's so special. Kathleen, you are a warrior for sure. And you have shown the world that you have the strength to get back up when you get knocked down. Could you talk about how your life changed dramatically when Dave was diagnosed with cancer? What did you learn about yourself or your marriage or how strong you were as a person? Yeah,

So Dave and I, you know, Matt and fell in love and originally lived in Portsmouth and started having babies and building our life together. And then we moved down here to situate to be closer to our family who was in Hingham and continued on with our life, as we knew it and feeling really grateful for our love and our kids and our family and our community. And, you know, Dave had a successful career in finance and continued to love, rock and roll and sort of infuse music into everything he did along the way. And, you know, he began to give back to our community and we were in a, in a really happy place. And very suddenly our worlds was turned upside down. Um, he was diagnosed with sinus cancer, which is an unusual cancer to begin with and it, it just completely rocked her world. It came out of nowhere, you know, he was healthy and, um, we had never heard of this. Uh, he initially thought it was a sinus infection and had gone for a couple of appointments and was on Z-Pak for a couple of weeks. And it just kinda wasn't going away. So upon further investigation, they diagnosed it as sinus cancer, a tumor in his sinus. Um, so we began seeing doctors at mass eye and ear, and initially they had assured us that this cancer was curable and that the tumor just needed to be removed. And then he would go through some treatment and we would carry on. And so they actually prepared us before his surgery for the worst thing that would happen would be that he would lose an eye. And so we would sit at Jamie's and have beers and listen to music and just kind of talk about, prepare ourselves for some of the things that might, you know, and we would tease him about, you know, how he'd still be handsome with just one eye. And that, you know, he had gone out and bought some eye patches and things like that right away. So that's what we were sort of preparing ourselves for. Um, and he underwent surgery. It was successful by all accounts. I'll never forget. They called to say they had removed the tumor with negative margins and that they had saved his eye and, um, that he would just need to go through three months of radiation to his face and, um, a little bit of chemo mixed in there. So he did that was hardly ever a complaint and continued to work as much as he could. His job was so important to him and his team and to be the data and the husband that he had committed to be and had promised to be. And that was by far his top priority in life. And so he finished the treatment and then they sent him home, uh, just to rest up and get better. And he just kind of wasn't ever really getting better. So that was the end of February. Um, by June they started running a few more tests and it was probably mid June when they said that this in fact was, um, had spread and that he had a year to live. And then he passed away that October. So October, 2014,

I literally just got like chills through my body. When you look at your sweet face and knowing how much of a wonderful person you are and mother, I can't imagine hearing that about someone that I love. So, so strongly,

Still hard to believe. I still can't believe that this is my life, but, you know, from the very beginning, I think Dave and I, who had always had honest conversations with each other and had always put each other and our kids and our family first. And so none of that changed during this diagnosis. And I think one of the most important things, which I don't even know if we realized at the time, how important that would be for our future was that we decided consciously and together that we would not allow the cancer to define our family, especially because we had four little kids and we wanted them to continue to grow up, to feel safe and loved and, and know that they are so much more than what, what happened. Yeah. Yeah. And so that was really empowering. I think from the beginning, we got to kind of define how we wanted to live that part of our life. And we were certainly open with our community and open with the schools and open with our families, but we did not let that define that part of our life.

So I can't imagine how difficult this time was. And I would think that you just probably went into autopilot because you had no choice to be strong for him and be strong for your kids. Yeah.

It's funny. You said that I was thinking, cause I was coming over here today that, you know, people would often say, I don't know how you keep going and I don't know how you're doing what you're doing. And I would often respond and say, I don't have a choice. Right. And people would say, but you do have a choice. You do have a choice and you're choosing to live and you're choosing to move forward and you're choosing to love and you're choosing to laugh and you're choosing all these things, but I felt like I, and we owed that to Dave and that this is exactly what he would want us to be doing. And in fact, I think the biggest gift he gave the kids and I was towards the end of his life. And we didn't talk a whole lot about life without him. Um, like he and I didn't even, but, um, he said we were watching the kids run through the backyard and he said, you guys are gonna have an amazing life. And I said, but I'm really scared that it's not going to be the life that we want it to be. Right. And he said, but it's still going to be an amazing life. Right. And so he gave us permission to have an amazing yeah, yeah.

That, that just shows the character of him like that. He didn't, he was showing you, I'm not going to go into victim mode and neither are you. And he was giving you the playbook almost because to stay in that sadness is a choice. And that's why I just think he never did that. You never said like, why me? Why is this happening? Why am I having, like, I want our life to be as what we had originally planned, you know, he didn't want his life cut short. And so instead of saying, why me, you just focused on what's next. And I, and I think that's why the choice that you made and how you gracefully carried on and became this powerhouse. It's a mindset. I mean, right.

Yeah. And I feel like I was loved harder in 10 years than some people will ever be loved in a lifetime. And that is not lost on me and continues to inspire me to keep doing what I'm doing. You know, Dave and I, we wrote our own wedding vows and they were promises to each other and pretty powerful promises. And they were about loving each other freely and wholly and being each other's biggest supporters yet challenging each other, along the way. Um, they were promising to raise our kids and our family to our best ability instilling values that we hold true. And what has become, maybe my favorite was our last promise to each other, which was, I promise to make you laugh. So there was always just a sense of joy and lightheartedness and fun in everything that we did. And that is important for me to continue to carry that on too.

It's amazing. And I love that. I think that is like the nicest thing that I've really heard on this podcast is that you are loved so strongly in those 10 years and some people have in their lifetime. And it's such a nice, positive way to look at that. So we're going to take a short break, but when we come back, we're going to discuss how to rewrite your script, reclaim your future and how to live life with love purpose.

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And we're back with Kathleen Giada mother for and founder of the mad love music festival. Kathleen story is someone who just kept going after experiencing a tragedy, the loss of your husband, and you didn't fall into victim mode, which would have been easy to do. And you, you decided to not let the music fade away. How did you get the idea of creating this music festival, which you did in his name?

Um, so obviously after Dave passed away, our world was rocked completely. Um, our four kids at the time were babies. Matthew was three, Connor was four and a half. Andrew was six and Claire was eight. And so we were broken and we were looking for a way to begin to heal. And in addition, we wanted to thank our community who had been so incredibly supportive over the last year that he'd been sick and most of all, we wanted to celebrate his life. And so we knew that music had to be kind of the most integral part of it because that was his passion. So we just kind of began talking and dreaming and planning and, and it happened with a lot of hard work. I have an incredible team who bring a lot of great experience, but that first year, you know, the first time you do anything, I'm always so feel so privileged and honored to be a part of anything that happens for the first time ever. Cause there was a little bit of kind of rawness or a little bit of a known or that, that, you know, it kinda can never be the same. And so there was little bit of blind trust and faith as we went into that first year. And I always say, uh, certainly a little help from above as we continue on. That's always there every year. And we decided to call it the mad love music festival because Dave and I would sign notes from each other and we would just sign them mad love. And, and especially while he was sick and people were looking for updates, we would send emails and updates through caring pages and things like that. And we would always just sign it mad love. So we chose that as the name for the music festival and South shore conservatory here in Hingham, generously offered us their space, turned to turn into the, what we think is the coolest rock venue on the South shore, every October. And, um, and it just was wildly successful beyond anything I had ever expected. And so when we went back to the conservatory with wishes to turn, um, the proceeds into a scholarship that we were looking to call the Dave Jada scholarship for future rockers, they were incredibly supportive instead of course, and, and asked what and who and how we wanted that scholarship to support students. And I remember Dave always talking about being in these basement bands or garage bands. And he always talked about how he wished he had a mentor or a coach or somebody that could help with some of the stuff outside of the music, like the gigging or the March, or maybe even the songwriting. So it seems like maybe there was a need for that. And so the conservatory was awesome in the sense that they were like, yeah, let's do that. And so we found this great coach at the conservatory and started sending out applications for high school students on the South shore to be a part of this coach rock band supported by the Dave[inaudible] scholarship for future rockers, which is funded by the mad love music festival.

That's so nice. I watched school rock all the time. It's like one of my favorite movies. We love that one. And I just, I don't know, it just being an artist myself and supporting the arts is so important and just being well-rounded and having that experience. And I think that coach is so amazing and I can almost feel how you felt, you know, when you tell, tell the story of like, how did you pull this off? Like you created this amazing festival and you are a single mom of four little kids. That's just an, all the demands of that brings us just it's mind blowing to me and you should be so commended. And I think you probably did have some help from above, but I think it was your love for your husband that you were, that was your driving force starting thing.

And I think another driving force, I always kind of thought, no matter what happens with this, it will be a humongous gift to my children, um, in a huge part of their healing process and their ability to kind of carry on Dave's legacy. And so I'm grateful forever that, that it offers that to them.

I agree. I agree. And I was watching some of the press coverage on your web website, and I thought this was like the best piece of, one of the takeaways of one of the videos that I watched was you would take your children into Boston, into clubs like the middle East and go and support these bands who would get the scholarship in your husband's name and how exciting for them and how proud they must have been a view and of their dad. And, and then you tie it into this music and you've created these experiences and gifts for your children that not many single moms could do. I mean, it's, it's, it's amazing. I love, I love, I loved that when I saw you going into the club with all the children trailing behind you. It's so great. So

While we're talking about the scholarship, I just want to say that the, um, you know, all of the kids who have become, or have been a part of the band, you know, the, um, positions are open to freshmen through juniors because then when you become a senior, you graduate out of the band and I could not be more proud of the students that have been a part of that band and what they've gone on to do. And so the students and their parents, it is not unusual for them to use the words life-changing when they talk about their experience as part of this band. And if you think about it, these high school kids who at least pre COVID, um, were really busy with lots of other things going on in their lives. And usually this kids were in some other types of bands and then, and then committed to be a part of this. And it was as if they knew from the beginning that this band was different than anything else they had done, and that it was created out of love and loss, and that they owed something to their community and to our family and to themselves to, to really give it everything they could. And, and they, I think surprised themselves with who they became and the things that they've been able to do. And they have desks gone on to, to, you know, I always say, I think that Dave would be so proud of the musicians that they've become, but I think more importantly, Dave would be so proud of the citizens of our community and the citizens of this world that they're becoming. They talk about learning things, way beyond music. They talk about learning about acceptance and friendship and teamwork and love and commitment. And so for that part, I feel like that's a gift to me and something that I'm incredibly grateful to be a part of.

That's awesome. And I, I read somewhere that it wasn't always the best performer, the best se guitar player, or wasn't the best individual player. It was. How did they perform together as a band who would get, and my producer, Tom knows cause he won the battle of the vans in high school. So I was, I was a manager for a band way back then. So I do know, you know, it pulls music, pulls people together and it's so healing and that's such a gift that you can give to the community. It really is. So every October you run this festival, that's filled with food, family, music and fun, and you took tragedy and made it into something so uplifting, especially for your kids and these little school of rock students that you're supporting. What has the festival taught you about our community or how important is it to bring people together in such a positive,

Right. You know, I think as human beings, we're tribal by nature. And I think we crave community, we crave connection and, uh, we're always kind of looking to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. And I think mad love offers that too to our community, this chance to come together with old friends, new friends, neighbors know, I, I love watching people who went to high school together, who hadn't seen each other kind of bumped into each other. And, um, it just, it's just a one day where adults and kids and teens alike can connect and, and be a part of something bigger than themselves, you know, all while rocking out to music, which is a universal language,

Right? Yeah. My friend Joel actually texted me a photograph from last year's mad love festival and my dad was there and he was, he was taking photographs of the event and he posed with a couple of my friends and she sent the picture and she was like, look at the difference from last year and like all the loss that everyone has experienced and how different of a time it was last year. And I think it's unbelievable how you pivoted this year with, COVID tell us what you did by creating a different kind of venue. And I think what's cool in which just happened a few days ago, by the way, but what is mad love? Re-imagined?

So, because community and connection is such a big part of mad love and because of everything that's happening in the world right now, I feel like we're craving that community and connection more than ever. And so it it's sort of never felt like an option to not do anything, but obviously because we couldn't host a live music festival, we had to adjust and adapt like the rest of the world. So we had this idea to create these rock boxes that aligned with our ticket structure in the past. So a customized rock box for adults, a customized rock box for students and a customized rock box for children. And then we just tried to think about what it was about the event that people loved the most. So for kids, you know, one of the most popular things is the hair dye bringing out your inner rockstar. And so we include a hair dye in, in that box, along with stickers and tattoos and beads for a bracelet and a gratitude rock and gift certificate to known as who's been a partner for a long time. And for the student rock box, a lot of the same stickers and tattoos and customized sunglasses and everybody water is a new partner that we're grateful to have. And, um, the adult rock boxes, of course, one of the most fun parts of Matt love yep. Is the beer trucks and the food trucks. So we teamed up with untold brewing, uh, in situate and super site, super fun, super grateful to have created a mad love beer with them, which is delicious and almost I think gone. So if you haven't had any, yet you should hurry to untold or board one, four, three in situate or queen and liquors. Who's also selling it. Um, in addition, there were gift cards to seabird coffee in Cohasset and board one 43 in situate. So we have some incredible partners that we have worked with in the past that we tried to continue to partner with. And so we created these rock boxes and, and was blown away by the community, support the amount of people that purchase rock boxes to continue to support the scholarship. And then on this past Sunday, October 11th, which is when we would have hosted the actual festival, we created a mini event, a mini experience where you drove through the conservatory and you picked up your rock boxes, you stayed in your car, but you picked up your rock boxes. You picked up any merch that you had. Pre-purchased you got to hear the newest edition of the mad love band and see a lot of our past volunteers and feel that mad love energy. And then from there, we encouraged people to bring their boxes home and or to wherever felt safe to them with whoever felt safe to them and to rock out and spread Matt love in a way that was meaningful.

That's so nice. And I think more than ever, people are looking to connect and they're looking to support other people and looking for positive experiences. And I love how you said yeah. The festival was definitely different compared to prior years, but the mad love you felt was the same. Yeah, for sure. I loved that. I thought, no matter what, you won't quit. Yeah. It's an energy. It's hard to explain unless you've kind of witnessed it yourself and been a part of it in the past. And it is an energy. It is something that's bigger than ourselves. It's something that everybody can identify with and connect to and be a part of. And we need it. We do. And we've all had to adapt in a lot of ways this year. And you should be so proud of yourself that you created mad love, reimagine the new merchandise, the rock boxes, and you even created a beer, which was based on your favorite beer pale one, four, three. So you could raise a glass and spread some mad love and$2 from every four-pack will be donated to the mad love scholarship for future rockers. I love that. Kathleen, do you think Dave would be proud of you? I do. Yes I do too. I, well, I'm so proud of you and all you've created with this mad love music festival. I want to raise a glass or raise a mad love bear and toast to you. Congratulations. Where can people find out more or follow mad love so they can follow us on Instagram or Facebook at mad love music festival or visit our website, which is www dot mad, love music, festival.org, Kathleen life had other plans for you, but there is no stopping you or mad love. I can't wait to hear about the exciting things to come. Thanks so much.

Thanks Carrie. And now for this week's Tinder tips. Number one, during these difficult times, arm yourself with an extra dose of unity, gratitude and major mad love, and remind yourself that you've got this number two, don't miss out on one of the best decisions of your life. Push yourself out of your comfort zone. Expand on your interests. Join a band or jump on Tinder because you just never know. Number three in times of uncertainty and darkness, don't forget to keep spreading light and love.

This is what shot at love is here for, to help you find love.

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