Me, Exposed With Host Kerry Brett

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I'm Carrie Bright and you're listening to shot at love. Isn't it time you took a shot at love? Took a shot on yourself? Believe you were worthy of true love? Is there a more effective way to date? Can you finally tell Yah and I'm gonna show you how it's done? Thistles? The first episode of the show and it's called me Exposed. Whom I Well, I'm a professional photographer. I've had a professional photography studio for 25 years. I worked for a magazine she didn't covers. It's called the proper Bostonian magazine. I was there from the beginning, and we just closed our doors last May, and I've been photographing people in studying people's patterns for a long time, and that's really who I am. I'm pretty type a and very driven. But then this is another side of me and that it was a girl who had two failed relationships that in the last failed one, was so heartbreaking. I was literally on the floor and couldn't see my way out. And in order to save myself from myself, Tender was the way I got back in the game. Going on tinder was the push. I needed to start the process of getting myself back together. It gave me purpose. It gave me a social life. It gave me new single friends and it gave me hope for a new chapter and the action of just swiping and talking to people. I kind of took away the loneliness that I felt. And I was one of the first people on tender when it first came out and people thought I was absolutely nuts. And I had no one to ask, No self help guide. I had to navigate the waters. Although myself and I learned through trial and error how to be successful, and I created these strategies that I'm gonna share with you on this podcast. So how did I turn into this tent tender expert? Well, truth be told, I had been helping people for a very long time. People show up in my studio when they're in transition, whether they, you know, took time off to take care of a sick parent, whether they're getting divorced, had to relocate, need a new job, so people would always just show up and say, I need I'm looking for a fresh start. I need a new image. I'm kind of not doing well, and I show them the beauty that they have for gotten and nice, you know, give them an incredible shot in a photograph and they're often running. And I loved photographing people because I made them happy. But I also loved photographing people in transition because it was I gave them a superpower in a sense, and they just had a new lease on life. So all along I have been helping my friends rebrand refresh. I had been more of a trail blazer. I had gotten divorced, My daughter was young, and so I already knew that drill. And then I lived with someone for a long time and that that didn't work out. So I was pretty familiar. We're familiar with picking myself up and starting over, so I found that I was helping people along the way. And then I had one infamous weekend in Nantucket, where he helped a really close friend find loved, find love and 36 hours, and she said, Carrie, you've got to do what you did for me, and you have to write and figure out how to bring this to the masses. because people are so hungry for this information. So I I kind of shelf that. That was in August of 2018 and then I had I had a moment where there was a lot of injustice happening, and I felt like I felt like I kept go. I had kept going, but I never really, truly processed what happened to me. And so creativity is a funny thing. It just came through me like a divine download, and I had no choice but to sit down and write. And I wrote, I started writing and I didn't know if I could creatively put it together, and I started color coding 800 to 1000 men on Tinder. I printed out every text message I ever wrote. It was like a beautiful lined in my house, with texts and men all over my dining room, table and walls, and I have writing and writing and writing, and it's alive, he notes, and I named it the swiping soiree. So after it's giving up all the time with my boyfriend and my daughter, it was my boyfriend who said, Okay, so now that you've been writing for two months, and you create this pretty amazing product, you have to go and bring it to the public. So I called 40 of my friends who had gone through a similar situation, and we MD dot my reception area and we put in two bars and I made, you know, brought in all these chairs and put up a screen. And I bought a cow bell and a tan Marine in party lights, and we launched the first wiping sore soiree on Avery, 13th right before single Awareness Day, Valentine's Day. And I was fine with getting up in in public and falling flat on my face. I had hoped that people would find, but I created a value and inspiring. But I also thought there could be an element that I had lost my mind, and I was fine with that because that's the way artworks. So I get up and I had to look fear in the face. But I felt like this wasn't about me. This is about helping other people where I was when I first joined tinder, and if I could help one person than making a fool out of myself in public was worth it, so that was well received. And I started a tender tour and I was often running and I went and I hosted them monthly, and I hosted them that conference centers and hotels and people were having huge success. Every person who come to my soiree was in a relationship with in that month, and then it was a friend of mine, so I didn't know what to do. But I knew that I couldn't stop. And there are too many people supporting me on this journey. And then it was a friend of mine mother who told me that I've very, really want to be an expert than I would have to write a book. So I went back up to Apple and I saw all my turkey friends, and I said, I need if J. K. Rowling can do it as a single mom, I can do this too. And so they gave me this become like J. K. Rowling, trapper keeper, and I wrote the entire summer, and those chapters and everything that I wrote got me this podcast today. And so our hope is that the podcast will give us Ah, larger audience and I can help people who are hurting and need inspiration and need a confidence boost. So I hope this is well received, and this is why I've gotten started. So in the weeks to come, we're going to hear stories of people who endured challenges and difficult chapters and survived heartbreak. We're gonna find the courage to start over and reinvent, but the end of the day is all vote not losing hope. We're going to share expertise, hilarious stories, and there's no room for big egos. And it's all starts with learning more about yourself and believing in yourself that you do deserve love and you're worth it no matter what age you are. If you have to join online dating, especially if you're a woman, then you are perceived is desperate. I know I was desperate, but that's just a misperception. Tender is just a tool to find love, and the goal is to find love and not care what other people think about you joining tender or any other dating site. Yeah, there's so much fear associated with tender that it's a hookup site that's a loser role of creeps, but it's dangerous. It's just a few bad apples who gave tender a bad name. I was intended for two years. I never found the hook up guy. Not once Who's hooking up? By the time you're 30 or 40 you have a profession. You're Conable in the community. Most people have Children. There are all these people running around hooking up. It just doesn't exist. So what I want to show you is to forget about your fears and just focus on moving forward, blend, swipe and one guy to time. So what happens after re swipe and we match? Well, I'm gonna teach your strategies. There's gonna be some guidelines for how to communicate. I have lots of details and advice through my podcast. Every week we'll have weekly tender tips. What I hope my listeners will get out of the podcast is that will grow a community of people helping people that this will be a support system for people or navigating their way through the crazy world of online dating. And we're gonna laugh instead of cry your way through it. It's gonna be fun and uplifting. So, on our first episode, let's jump into our first tender t o number one. It's time to pick yourself up off the floor. You can do this. You can start dating. You have to start somewhere. Action creates reaction. Life is so short. So why delay if you take action and get after it, I promise you, you will have results. Number two. Now that you have a date, look up the restaurant in events and pick what you'd be having for lunch or dinner. You want to be as focused as possible and not distracted trying to figure out what to eat. Number three. I like to frequent the same places. That way. I knew where the hook was underneath the bar to put my bag fumbling around, trying to figure out where you stick your bag doesn't start the date off on the right foot. If you are familiar with the location, then you'll know your way around which will put you at ease. Number four always tell someone that you're going on a date. I did this to feel safe. And when that friend knows that you're on a date, you can easily escape to the ladies room and text. Um hey, can you send me a fake emergency text? So I have an excuse to get out of Dodge if things aren't going well, it's a lot easier than climbing on a bathroom window. Number five. Avoid last minute dates. You want a guy who plans in advance for that perfect date carefully? Well, photo dates sets the right precedence. Number six Put in extra effort when dressing up for the date I always wore and over the top dramatic coat so people would turn and look at me when I came flying through the door. Big statement airings. Men always love. Remember men love bright and shiny things Number seven. Be yourself. Do your best to be yourself. That's who men fall in love with. Anyways, if you make a mistake or say the wrong thing, just laugh it off. No one is perfect and men fall in love with the imperfections that make you you so be yourself and have fun. Thes tender tips were my experiences through a lot of trial and error. Is there a right way to gender? Oh yeah. I'm carry Bret. See you next time