Million Reasons

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I'm Kerry Brett  and you're listening to Shot@Love. The first motivational podcast about online dating. My goal is to inspire, encourage and uplift each and every one of you. Yes, I'm here to tell you that we're all in this together, that there are blue skies on the horizon, even if you feel like you're Winona Ryder and Girl, Interrupted, wondering if Shutter Island is your dream vacation? Unfortunately, the playing field has been leveled. It's been leveled, all right, in some way or another for all of us. Maybe you've just lost your job or ended a relationship. Or maybe you're one of those two people pulling on that rope and it finally snapped. For most people, CovI’d-19 will either bring you closer together or break you apart. Or maybe, this extreme hardship will be the push you need to finally leave that relationship that hasn't been working for a long time. You know when that right time is and trust me, there's never a good time. This episode is for every fall back girl, stuck in patterns that don't serve her or that person day drinking at home, wandering around in a mask, too heartbroken to leave, even if there wasn't a national emergency. You are so locked down you can't get out of bed. I get it! It's a depressing time. I have a boyfriend. And many days during this pandemic I couldn't get out of bed or stop binge watching Waco. Or maybe you feel like everything's falling apart. Perhaps you've been blindsided. He just packed up and left. Hit the road, Jack, and you feel like your only friend is Phoebe from friends. I understand pain and suffering. I have a podcast because of it. I've lived a life of suffering for far too long. There isn't a heartbreaking mistake I haven't made while dating a bunch of Tinder Yahoo’s in the hopes of desperately trying to turn my life around. I made it to the other side, but so can you! When your only choice is to sink or swim, and I know it seems traumatizing, but I promise you you won't feel like Rose on the Titanic forever. And I won't leave you like Jack left, Rose. Whatever storm you're sailing through, you will get to the other side. Unfortunately, the only way out is through worst quote ever. But it's true. During Covid–19 each and every one of us are facing major setbacks. Are we being pushed backwards or catapulted forward? I think we've each been given this opportunity. This could apply to business or your health. But today I want to talk about online dating as a riel opportunity to find love. So here's the deal. We've always had this opportunity to find love. We just had too much fear or too much negativity associated with online dating. That's all that was holding us back. I had to look fear in the face, not just with joining tender or picking myself up off the floor and starting over again and again. But I think about this. Podcasts, all the wonderful messages I get from listeners all over the world. I first launched shot at love in the middle of February, and only one month later we were on complete lock down. If I didn't get that, this podcast, the one you're listening to today launched at that specific time, I wouldn't have a podcast have valuable listeners are learned a new skill. My producers want to wait, have me enroll in voice coaching to get more training, but I felt I didn't need to be perfect. I wasn't sharing the nightly news. I was just a girl who had information that could help others avoid the pain that I went through. So against the knows, all the fears of rejection, I was like, I'm going to make this happen. Come hell or high water when you decide. Really decide to join online dating. Take that leap of faith. There will be that one moment of clarity when you think you know what? I think I deserve something better. What the hell? I'm going to take a shot. Prior to the Corona virus, I would do everything I could. I would try to brainwash the people who came to my swiping soiree. I would give a dose of tough flop or some days flat out bag people to join, to take a chance to really go for. Then I would watch. As fear took over, I could see their minds working in overdrive. I could read the pain and sadness in their eyes that I would say, Do you realize that you have everything to gain and nothing to lose? And then out here, the line it never failed, and it always came. I'm just too busy. Here are some examples of too busy the teacher I can't right now. It's just so busy. Maybe in the summer when school's out. The realtor I'm in the height of my season. There is no way I need to wait until things slow down. The owner of the salon, I just hired a few new Silas and I need to get them up to speed. Maybe after I trained them when I have more time. Guess what? Things have slowed down. You've been given this rare opportunity to throw your fears right out the window and finally cast your excuses aside because now people have time. People are listening. People want to make new connections for the future. There is no time, but the present we find ourselves in this very moment were people will reset and start over. Everyone will be on a new path in some capacity. But this is the time and you can decide who you want to be. But first we need to clear those blocks. Remove those barriers and I'm gonna show you how to do that. When we come back and we're back today. We're going to discuss all the 1,000,000 reasons. Why are my 1,000,000 reasons why we hold ourselves back? We're going to talk about that storyline we create in order to protect ourselves. So we think. But in reality, in truth, it only hurts us before we prepare to move forward, we need to clean up this noise. We need to get rid of these barriers and blocks. It's imperative that we dismantle all of these untrue belief systems in order to move forward successfully. There's no point learning my dating playbook until you become crystal clear about exactly what you want, so we're going to remove blocks in your mind that not only can but will hold you back. So are you ready to ditch all those negative thoughts, lose your fears and not give your failed past relationships one ounce of thought? This is hard. I know firsthand how hard this truly is. When my brother Tim, at my boyfriend for the first time in Nantucket, the first chance my brother had, he grabbed me and pulled me aside. And he said, Carrie Scott is a nice guy. He's willing to see past everything you've gone through. So do yourself a favor and forget about your past and drop the back pack of bricks you've been carrying around for a very long time. This is some of the best advice I ever got. Drop the bag of bricks. Drop The bag of bricks you've been carrying is still one of my favorite things today. My boyfriend, Scott, also had to tell me to drop the bag of bricks when we first started dating. You can remember this. It was in the summer, probably right after the Nantucket trip. And he knew I was still struggling. I still had a lot of had to piece through and he said, Carrie, I love you and I want to live. I want to build a life with you, but we will never have a really chance of a rial future if you can't put the past where it belongs Behind you I mean rare view, mirror girl. If you can't put past behind in the past, will rob you of your future. This is not a lesson. This is basic survival if you want to overcome a traumatic past. It was the winter of 2018. I was getting ready to launch my first wiping. Sorry. And I knew I wanted to create a video of just words I wanted to identify and name as to shine a spotlight directly on people's beers. And I was trying to gather my thoughts and find inspiration. So I kept driving around in the winter, listening and singing at the top of my lungs. Lady Gaga's 1,000,000 reasons why I was channeling so much pain that as I listen to that song, I just couldn't stop playing it Wherever I went, I had that song, and my friend Tom, who is also helping me with my program, was like Carrie, I get it. That gaga is your inspiration. But his lady gaga gonna jump out in the middle of your swiping soiree. Suddenly a pair on the piano and start singing, I say, Well, Lady Gaga has had her fair share of traumatic past relationships. See, you never know in the Shasha share, huh? Hello? I knew the time was up. I had to finish my video. So on that winter day, right before my swiping soiree, I waltz right into the Apple store to visit Casey, my technical advisor who works full time. Who works full time at Apple? I had previously signed up for a class toe learn I movie, and thankfully for the other people who were in the store, I was the only student I said, Casey, I'm ready to make my video. He looked at me smiling, almost laughing at me. And he said, Do you have your reasons why people hold himself back? I laughed and I said Yes, I just wrote them down in my car In notes on my iPhone He laughed and said, Jesus, that I said Casey, do you know why I could write my list? In five minutes? He nervously left but then looked right at me. Listen, fear, waiting for my response, wondering what on earth I would say. I said I could write this list off the top of my head because I lived each and every one of them, Then was zero judgment. He said, All right, Carrie, let's hear them. So today I'm going to read you the 1,000,000 reasons why there's not a 1,000,000 but reasons why people hold themselves back. I don't feel confident I won't find my type. I'm stuck in the past I'm just not the best version of myself right now. I'm fine alone. I'm not good enough as I am. I'm afraid to be taken advantage of. I don't want to get hurt. The problems in my past will affect my future. I can't get out of my comfort zone. I don't want to be abandoned. I'm too busy. I sabotage relationships. I can't deal with my insecurities. Can I do better professional reasons? I'm stuck in a cycle of pity. Unfocused on excuses. I'm damaged goods. I'm too stressed out. It won't work out. I can't break the cycle and I keep going back to my ex. I can't forgive the mistakes of my past. I suffer from panic and anxiety. I've had too many painful experiences. Breakup. It will be too hard. I don't like how I look. I need to lose weight. First. I'll wait until my kids are grown. I can't expose myself to risk. I've lost sight of who I am. It's easier to focus on my family other than myself. My flaws will be found out by someone new. I fear I can't be loved. I'm afraid I can't change. I've always set the bar low with limited men. My life will come crashing down again. I don't give myself enough credit. I'm too depressed. My fears and beliefs are my benchmark. I can't be vulnerable. I don't show up for myself. Cove in 19 of run out of excuses. A person of value doesn't need excuses. And I've got news for you. There is not a god damn thing around with you. Oh, and now for this week's tender tips Number one If you're gonna use the word busy, never put the word to in front of it. That way you can never be too busy for anything. Number two, drop the bag of bricks. Think about it. If you're literally carrying an actual back back build with bricks when you put it down, put the bag down. You'll thank me. Later. Number three. What are you doing To help yourself? Help Better yourself. Remember, God helps those who help themselves. This episode is dedicated to my mom, Jenny Brett, The mighty Gin. This Mother's Day is very special to all the breads on so many levels. My mother has always been the glue that held us all together in my darkest hours I would cry to her crying that I didn't know how to continue on. And she a personal wisdom, Tremendous strength and deep faith would always say the same thing to me. God helps those who help themselves. Some people are born with strength while others adapt, learn and find strength. They never knew they had. I have the smallest fraction of strength compared to my mother. But I'm always learning, continuing to help myself as well as others. Thank you for being the role model that you are Happy Mothers Day. Mom, I love you. Thank you To all my listeners. This is what shot at love is here for To help you find love I'm always here to help you And remember stay safe and stay tuned for more episodes Follow on Instagram shot at love Podcast I'm carry bread and I'll see you next time