Revamp Your Personal Closet With Fashion Icon Dava Muramatsu

I'm Carrie Brett, and this is shot at love. The first motivational show around online dating. Do you feel like you've lost your sense of self or style during this pandemic? Well, you're in luck. Today's guest is Dave Mattson and she is a Newbury street fashion icon. And her life's work has been helping people build their image, or in most cases rebuild their image. She is the embodiment of high fashion, and she'll be offering us styling tips for our dating profiles. You won't want to miss it. So stay tuned.

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Dave, his journey has taken her from boutique owner on Newbury street in Boston to designing her own jewelry line nip through the experience of creating a blog styling services while owning multiple boutiques over the decade, Deva has found that nurturing and instilling confidence in her clients through styling wardrobe consulting and gemstone selection. Wellness coaching inside now is a true calling. David went from the city to the suburbs and lunch Matsu, where she would curate unique clothing for the contemporary minded woman. Today. Dave is going to help us restore our beauty and help us feel better about ourselves while presenting ourselves in the best possible light. Hi, Deva. Thanks so much for being here. Thank you so much for having me, Carrie. This is going to be a great episode. These are challenging times and people are experiencing a lot of loss, whether it's a loss of a relationship or a job, but this is a time for reinvention. And I thought this was the perfect time to start over. Style-wise don't you agree? Deva. Absolutely. I think it's a great time for new opportunities as well. Great. So yesterday I photographed a woman who has been waiting about a year to put herself online and we had all these beautiful clothes and this incredible makeup artists. And we literally, I watched how we transformed how she felt. And she texted me later that night and she said, this was the happiest day I've had in a long time finding the right clothing that you love transforms the way you feel Deva. What has your experience been around this emotional part of styling? Why does clothes make you feel a certain way? I think that women are open enough to allow myself to present them with items that they normally would not have ever considered, um, that they become liberated, but it's a very, very tough road to go down. Um, when most, in most cases they're not necessarily all that open-minded, or there's a slight, there's a slight fear around the whole entire idea. It's all about this fear that I'm not going to find what I want. I'm going to invest all that time. I know that I would always get anxiety. If I had to look for a dress for a wedding, I think that stems from in high school, I could never find a prom dress or my mom had to make me one, like I was Molly Ringwald and pretty in pink. So why do we have

Of this year? I think a lot of it has to do with self judgment and that's one of the most difficult things to drop. It's also something that most, a lot of women are not aware of. And they, they don't really know. They don't know what they don't know. And as long as they're open, then they can all feel as liberated as your guests did yesterday.

I guess people's identity is tied to certain things. Like I have nothing. There's all these blocks around online dating. You know, I don't have anything nice to wear or I'm not loving the size I am right now, or I'll wait until I lose 20 pounds. And I hate that this holds people back from joining online, dating, not feeling great about yourself or how you look. And I've seen this play out over and over. How do you help people kind of get past?

I think the main key here is for them, for, for me to try to inspire them, to figure out what it is that actually makes their hearts sing. Once they tune into that, it pretty much begins to flow freer and they begin to trust more. And then before you know it, you know, you get the ball rolling and you, you know, you're doing their hair and makeup at the same time, but it's, you know, it's all, it's all a whole entity, which is encompassed here, right?

Having the experience of working for 27 years at a magazine, I've styled a lot of cover shoots and I've worked with an awful lot of stylists. And sometimes I had to be a stylist myself on shoots. And that's definitely a lot of experience. But you said there are people who are stylists that don't really know how to style themselves. I think that's interesting because I think it is definitely worth instead of spending all this money on a closet full of things that just don't work for you or your body type to invest in buying clothing. And you said that match people spend all this time buying that perfect outfit or spending money with a matchmaker, but they didn't do that internal work on themselves.

This is true. However, I'd like to back up just a little bit in state that when people used to come into my shop, many, many women would come in and they would buy and they would buy in, of course I don't want to discourage them because it's great. But eventually what I noticed was I never saw them wear anything that they bought and I didn't really know why they were buying it. And so I decided to get a little psychological about around this whole topic to find out what are they doing with the clothing and are they filling a void or they're simply in here because they want something new. And in most cases it's sad, but this is pretty much what happens. And in order for you to, in order, in order for you to break this, I needed to get into their closets so that when they did come in, they knew why they were getting what they were getting and what they were planning to do with it. It doesn't have to be an entire outfit. It could be one piece because in most cases, many, many women do not have the glue. I call it to pull outfits together, to congeal them, to harmonize them, to synergize them within their own closet. And that's kind of key,

Right? So if you came into my closet, you would be like, is this Marilyn Manson's closet or Johnny Cash because it's just black.

There's different ways to where there's so many ways to wear black and not look off nothing wrong with golf, but in the dating world. And so on. That's not really the image. I think that most women would like to portray.

Right. Black was always easy for me because if I was shooting a wedding or if I was going to be on TV doing a shoot, I just didn't want to, it was almost like I was just innocuous. Yeah. And it was never about me. It was always about the subject or the work that I was doing. And I kind of just got in that habit. But when I do wear a color, people like almost fall over

There's ways to wear all black and look like you're actually wearing tones. And it's all about the texture. It's about the scale. It's about how they harmonize with each other within the pieces themselves. And you don't necessarily, it doesn't translate as a solid black piece is it's quite fascinating. And it's an art form in, in, in reality.

It is. So I love how you talked about the texture. So if you wore leather black leather pants and a black sweater

Kind of heavy, I would say something like a Georgette, black Georgette, something that's translucent. So you can see a little bit of the skin through it, not skin in terms of reveal, revealing anything, but just in terms of scale. So you have a sense of where your body is at within the black. And that's what happens. A lot of people hide their bodies behind black or beige or whatever they're drawn to because they don't want to be seen. Right.

Or, and you talk about revealing. I think the biggest mistake people make either in their photographs that they use on their dating profile or on the first date is revealing too much and dressing too provocatively. Isn't the right call. Do you want to talk about that?

I'd love to talk about that because what I have found through my career, the more I happen to love fabric. So I mean, I'm a mover I'm overdressed today just because of the textures. And I'm like, I don't care, but, um, I feel

He was wearing a Tutu folks. I just had to say that.

I, I, uh, um, I forgot your question.

Well, I was just still thinking about how you're like Gary, you can't pull off a Tutu. I'm like I know was no, no, no, none.

Would you mind asking me the question? Okay.

Covering up or not showing too much can show a strong sense of self or self intelligence and you, if you dress, Oh, not too provocatively, you're actually showing up as their equal.

You were showing up without a prop without a treat without a flower, without anything it's it's core. You're just, it's your core essence that will reveal your inner beauty, your inner confidence and so on and so forth. And I feel that the gentlemen or women are more whomever. It is that you'd like to attract here. W there's a, there's a, there's a stronger sense of intellect to show up with more clothing on there. Not a, there's something very provocative actually by being covered up. And it's sort of the opposite of what many, many people think, but it's, it takes more intellect and it takes more confidence to do that. It really does. I mean, you can be, you can have all kinds of ruffles on and so on and so forth in a tight, tight, tight turtleneck. And you know, your form has shown through, but you're, you're revealing, but you're not revealing. So it's, uh, it's sort of a, uh, it's like a little bit of a play and I find that to be really provocative and also leave something to miss, leave some mystery to everything, please. Right.

And I think so when you say lose the prop and people tend to hide behind sunglasses, their dog, that hole in one, or that fish, they caught,

You know, we're talking about men at the moment. It definitely, yeah. They have the most

It's trouble. And you know, they're not going to show up on the date with the fish that they caught. They should just wear what they always do,

But they don't know. They don't know. And that's what we're here for. Even for men, especially for men really. I mean, women is easy, but I think men, men, the more men that become a little bit more inner aware that women will have more fun and some of the men actually.

All right. So I wanted to talk about, I like how you're talking about simply tweaking that existing look can completely transform and refine your style. Can you give me an example as a stylist, my friend Kelly and I found the brace at this morning had these fun bracelets that had funny sayings on it. And it was a conversation piece. And I thought that was a great tool that we had when we were dating way back in the day. Give me an example. Like I have, I wear glasses. So too many, I don't know, like a necklace or something. Right.

You're looking for an item that will pull the conversation together. When you first meet somebody, is that your question?

Like, how do you, how do you pull yourself together? What's an example, like a scarf, or like, just, just to make you more.

My goal with women is for them be able to go cause a lot of women don't want to spend the time. They don't know how to do it. And again, I'm going back to the closet because that's, it's sort of like, you don't leave your room. You don't leave your home in the morning without make, maybe you do without making your bed. But if you do, it can be a very chaotic day. If your closet is that way, same way. It's no different, it translates the same way in your psyche. And what I have found is that so many women have so much stuff in there and this stuff makes them, gives them a sense of security. However, in most cases, most of it hadn't been worn in over two years, in which case that's where you start right there by purging and purging and purging. The purging itself can be very liberating. But the point here is the fact that my goal, when, when entering women's closets is that it is so clean and so precise and so fun that they can practically go in there with their eyes closed. And every single thing will go anywhere. They want to mix it or match it or whatever we'll go together. They don't really have to think so they can then start working on their insides and they can concentrate on the date or whatever. What have you. Right. And I think if you

Are put together, you're going to be more confident you're feeling.

They don't know that they don't realize that it's the, the entering the closet thing is a barrier that I have had to deal with. It's a barrier that women put up because of fear. They think, I don't think they think I'm judging. Cause I would that's that's not part of this job it's helping. I want them to feel empowered. And if you've never felt empowered, then there's no way to give it up because you don't know what it feels like. So it's, it's really, it's an education.

Is it just coming into someone's home and going into the closet? Like I have a rack here that people bring all their clothes from a lot of outfits. Sometimes people show up at 10 outfits or 20 outfits. They're unsure of what to bring to the shoot. I'm wondering about that. Like, is it the psychological, like just going into your personal closet?

Well, I was referring to the personal clothing closet. It could be walking closet room. It could be whatever it is, you know, but then, then the next thing is the coats. And then the next thing is, you know, the husband's ties and then the shoes and then, you know, it goes on and on and on, but this is what encompasses an entire person. This is from, this is an exterior thing. But if you approach it from an exterior standpoint, first the insides start to change and they start to get a little bit revved up and awakening and, and it's, it's fascinating to watch and feel

Right. Well, let's just say you get knocked down, you have a bunch of bad dates in a row and you're like, I'm burning the sweater. I blame the sweater. No, I'm just kidding. But your self esteem is kind of taking a hit.

That's a superstitious idea,

I guess so, but I've been there and I've had one bad date after and I think I was probably guilty of, okay. Okay. I'm going to wear this black dress cause it's lemming versus say a color that could really make me sparkle. And I think this podcast encourages people to do something that they've never done. Look outside themselves to see what kind of person they want to become. And how would you encourage people to take that chance and to shy away from that safe option? That's a very good question. Very, very good question. The safety is a habit breaking the habit is a little difficult. However, you never know what can grow out of that once you don't, unless you don't have it. And I mean, this goes for all different aspects of life, not wanting to move because you're so secure or, you know, again, it's familiar and all that familiarity and the repetitiveness of it, you start to feel stuck. You start to feel well, wait, this, this shouldn't feel like I have a feeling that maybe this can feel spicier. And the only way to be able to do that is to go through the wall and break the barrier. That's amazing. So when we come back, we're going to talk about more life lessons and fashion advice. So stay tuned

And we're back.

So I'm hoping today I can help people open up their mind about fashion. And recently I just binged the M series dirty John and I was so obsessed with it that I had to go back and listen to the podcast where it originated. And then there's three behind the scenes episodes that I listened to as well. And they had one little talk from the stylist who designed the clothing and I love the way they stopped the lead character, who is a woman. And she, and she was one who married dirty John, but Connie Britton. Yes. And thank you. I had forgotten her name, but the stylists used colors that were soft and represented love, warm blushed tones, and very soft Rose gold colors because that was soft and to her represented, falling in love. And then when he turned into a psychotic, um, you know, nightmare, she started to add darker colors. And I thought that was such a, that's such an artist. Initially those pastels and the lighter tones also offer a sense of vulnerability, which she was in fact very, very vulnerable. Despite the fact she was falling in love, but they were showing you the vulnerable side. And then of course it switches over. And I think that the darker, the colors,

In many cases, we're not talking about tones here, but people start to feel more protected when you wear, I have a very big issue wearing white. I feel so exposed and it's very, very scary. Um, I will admit, and it's probably the best thing for me to be decked out in white, you know, one day or, you know, you know, a few times or, um, just to break that. But, but I do think that it's just, it's very exposing to wear lighter colors. It sh it really is psychologically really exposing. Okay.

So let's talk about that color wheel. Let's talk about, I like the color green. It makes me happy. Uh, it looks good with my eyes. I don't really wear it other than on st. Patrick's day. I'll be honest. I really don't have a lot of grain, but I do like the color.

I think it depends on the tone. Again, there are so many facets of green and of course it's the heart chakra and that keeps you open. And it's just, just such an enlightening thing to wear, to wear. It depends on your coloring. Depends on your skin tone. If you've got too much pink in it, you don't want to wear too much. You don't want to wear a green. That's got a lot of yellow in it. You want to wear something that's a little bit more complimentary to your skin tone. So it's really in psychologically, it's going, you will be affected. You can almost feel it naturally. I mean, there's, we could talk about it in terms of stones, such as deep emeralds or Paredos and Paredos having more yellow in it. And, and a lot of people shy away from that. That's that stone I've noticed. They kind of all go in eras, but at one point in time where everybody was buying paradise, but not now. Um, but it's, it's, it's, it's a little exposing, I think it's because of all of the yellow in it. Um, but green is a earth tone and it looks good. The right tone looks good. Like Navy blue on everyone.

Oh, that's interesting. How do you choose pieces that you love

In answer to your question? Let me put it this way. It's not an intellectual decision. What I've learned is that I need to feel comfortable and the choices that I make to in order to what to put on my body, come from being really in tune with my feeling. And it's an emotional thing. It's a psychological thing. It's a feel good thing. It's a confidence thing. And there are some fabrics that I have in my closet that give me more confidence then others, depending on the time of the year. But today, for instance, I wanted color. I wanted texture. I wanted fun. I wanted humor and I wanted a level of sophistication. That's a lot of things in one outfit, but I did it I think. And so, so it's really about how it makes me feel. And that's really what I'd like to see these women tune into within themselves. And again, in order to do that, they need to break down some barriers,

Right? I think you, and choosing your outfit, you actually knew we were going to have this really kind of deep emotional conversation because you are also wearing the color purple, which is an emotional color.

It's very majestic as well.

Oh, interesting. It's a recolor of royalty

Loyalty we has as, as amethyst exude. Wow.

So we have royalty in the house. Um, so people either put too much time into presenting themselves or too little time

You do. And too little time I think comes from just not being educated enough or, um, being taught, um, and Mitt possibly being open or being lazy too much. On the other hand is probably too much makeup, uh, overly, overly curly hair over this, over this, over in any way, it comes off as being very, very contrived. And in some cases, maybe a little confident overconfident in the wrong way. Interesting. I think it can be, it can be misperceived indeed.

Okay. So confidence date when you're dating and you're going a lots of dates, it's, it's challenging at times. And I know myself, if I was struggling with what to wear or in my case, being a working single mom, I was always being pressed for time. And I would be aggravated that I'd have to go out on a cold night on a date and more aggravated that I had nothing to wear. So I try to make things. I try to find tips and different strategies for people to make online, dating easier. And if you're coming from an aggravated place that you're going on a date and you have to be in a good mood to bring good energy into the atmosphere, it, do you have any tricks? Like, would you choose what to wear? Say after you came back from running where you felt better, not at the last minute, or you had mentioned before for clients, some people you had to lay out different clothing, pair them up and take a photograph of it. I actually do that because I have a hard time packing for trips and I'll pack. If I have to go and shoot a cover, I'll pack all my camera equipment. No problem. Cause I have a system and I'm very methodical, but one of the challenges for people who have add they have, they always feel that they're going to forget something. So I take photographs of the clothes that I'm going to wear. So I don't have to think about it when I'm shooting.

So you just, you, you just spoke about two different topics in my, to me. Okay. Um, the nothing to wear part I'd like to address that then nothing to wear part is easily remedied. And again, I'm going to go back into the closet. And when I'm talking about the closet, I'm talking about wardrobe, editing. Many people think that they don't have anything to wear because they look at everything the same exact way, every time they step inside their closet. And that is something that can be taught. That can be that's something that can be, uh, manifested in terms of mixing things that they never would have mixed before. So there's always going to be something to wear. But again, if there's that you don't have the glue in there to pull these things together, they're going to feel like they have nothing to wear. Right. Okay. So I wanted to address that. And then secondly, um, I, a very, very effective result that I have, um, discovered is, is to create a photographic journal once inside the closet of different ways to put the clothing together, you lie them down on the floor and you shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot. So they can remember. And there's no excuse because I'm not, they're not expected to be as creative. That's not what they're trained for. You know, they could be geniuses and other ways, but this is, this happens to be around them, extremely, um, confident in, and also I've had the experience. But I think that when they can see that their own clothing and from their own closet laid out in different ways on the floor or photographed on hangers or whatever, it really, really will embark upon a whole brand new way of living

Like the Marie Kondo of online dating styling. This is incredible. And this is why investing in your styling is just like investing in a professional headshot. It's truly the best money you guys. If you want to stand out, this is how you're going to shine. It's really, it's, it's an investment, but it's short money.

And if you don't want to stand out and you want to feel good, this is also how you're going to shine from inside.

Okay. So that brings me to one of the things that you say is that you know how to choose clothing. That makes such an impact that can create a huge shift that you actually become magnetic. This is true. Okay. This all right.

There's color psychology in there, which can do that. And purple happens to be one of them, by the way. But, but more importantly, it's the sense of healing and it's a sense of personal healing for the individual. And once they get a taste of that feeling, it's going to be a really good addiction. I have to say, but it will, they will be wanting. They will then begin to understand, Oh my goodness, I need to do it for this. And I need to do it for this. And before you know, it, their whole entire lifestyle has changed. And their whole approach to their closet has changed. When I say again, when I say closet their wardrobe war, and that can be their coats, it can be their shoes. It can be it's everything. It encompasses every, this is the total package. And when they see when your headshot, when you're doing the headshots and you're working on the lighting, if they've done some of the work within themselves and in their own homes and in their closet, it's gonna, it's gonna feed their soul. And it's going to come out in the photographs. There's no doubt about it.

Boston magazine quoted you an article about your boutique Matsu, and they said that your store makes people feel like you want to get dressed up in taffeta, put on high heels and start sipping champagne. And you make people feel better about themselves and you truly get people in their power. So instead of spending money on new clothing, I think you should call up Deva and go and check out your existing closet and start with an edit. And how can, how can people get in touch with your Deva? I can be contacted through my email Deva at David Murray, matsu.com as well as my healing gemstone jewelry site, which is nymph jewels.com and Y M P H J E w E L s.com. So I hope everyone is feeling so inspired to be our best dress self David, I can't thank you enough for being here today and more than a pleasure. Thank you so much. And for now this week's Tinder tips. Number one, on a date or in your dating profile, do not reveal too much. The less you reveal, the more people can wonder. Number two, images that reveal too much only cheapens your stock. A beautiful, successful winner like yourself. Doesn't need to resort to this trick and men. No, it's a trick. Always leave them wanting more. Number three, break the habit. If you keep doing the same thing, you're going to have the same result, mix it up and edit. If you haven't worn something in two years, let go of it. I hope you found this week's episode inspiring and helpful. This is what shot at love is here for, to help you find love. Keep up the commitment to yourself and commit to helping someone else by sharing this podcast. Remember to stay safe and stay tuned for more episodes. If you'd like me to photograph you for your online dating profile, I have a new shot at love promotion. You can contact me through my website or DME on Instagram. I'm Carrie Brett, and we'll see you next time.

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